#but then again i might be aro/ace | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lazylittledragon · 5 months ago

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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the-all-seeing-l · 2 months ago

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Being asexual in a world of allosexuals sure feels like being a Beta in ABO society sometimes.

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ut-scatteredextension · 6 months ago

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Happy Pride Month! And also Let Papyrus Say Fuck Day dghsghfs

Bonus identities I associate with Papyrus, plus a regular non-pride flag version below:

#undertale: scattered extension #utse #papyrus / scraps (utse)#papyrus #my art #undertale au #and i guess it might be good to clarify:#i see canon undertale papyrus as aroace! so since scattered extension takes place after canon undertale. scraps is aroace as well #it's not a result of him being soulless or anything. he's always been aroace! <3 #with more emphasis on him being aro. but i myself am ace so. *hits him with the ace-ification projection beam* gfdhfgdhfs he gets Both #and ye! i see papyrus as nonbinary too! based on a few of the things he says in-game #but rather than using non-gendered terms he just. picks and chooses differently gendered terms for himself as he pleases #to give some examples from the game itself:#he uses he/him pronouns... Probably exclusively. and as a sibling he is sans' *brother*.#but! if he were to become a parent he would be a *mother* not a father #this is all stuff i headcanon for canon papyrus! which again means that it also all applies to scraps as well

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contagious-watermelon · 8 months ago

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so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that

(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)

I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority

#I'm sure it might also have something to do with some internalized transphobia of ''well if i think of myself as adjacent to straight rathe #than adjacent to gay that means I'm more masculine and thereof more of a man''#< not true but.#although it could also be that i have a little more in common with straight trans guys than gay ones #having grown up not being attracted to boys when i was expected to be #(just minus the Woman attraction part obv)#aromantic #aspec #asexual #non sam aro #aro #aroallo #aroace #ace #alloace #gay #lgbt #queer #idk. sexuality and labels and stuff are confusing #thats why ive stuck with just 'aromantic' and not even bothered to try and figure out my sexuality really #I'm not interested in sleeping with anyone so why do i need to know lol #maybe I'm asexual‚ maybe I'm repressing it bc internalized homophobia (in either direction)‚ maybe I'm mistaking dysphoria for dislike of i #again #who knows. not me #yall dont have to respond to my tag rant lol; i wanted to give some extra context and then it got away from me. oops

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palmmall · 6 months ago

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This may just be me being deeply aromantic/asexual but, I had a thought today is it kind of insulting that most continuities insinuate that Superman would go full-blown bad guy over Lois not being around or being dead instead of like, I dont know his fucking parents?

The people who took him in, loved him unconditionally, taught him right from wrong, and showed him what it meant to be human in the first place?

#again this might be me being terribly aro/ace #but I just couldn't help but think about it #superman #clark kent #lois lane

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wall-eye · 2 years ago

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Someone who knows how to clip things, could you grab gus asking John if chet does romance and John going uuGHHh no from the 11.5 part 2 verbal component?

#edit it has been clipped <3 check the notes!#john was utterly disgusted at the idea and it was SO funny #also a VERY aro mood lmaoo <2 #if i were at home i might try to figure it out but i am not but i cant stop thinking about it #also since im talking about it kinda:#aram confirmed that foq was ace (and maybe also aro?) and john said chet was too and then this vc confirmed the aro bit #for chet #anyways #ill grab some screenshots of that later; once again not home #on the rocks #unprepared casters

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endercupid · 1 year ago

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my friend (who is literally aroace) just told me that it doesn’t count to be ace as a highschooler bc most people aren’t having s3x much anyway..

like, what??

they’re literally ace as well. how is it any different for me to know that i’m ace them for them?

#sorry about the censoring #i just don’t wanna be marked as mature content again #ace #acespec #aroace #ace vent #only kind of related #but i think i might be on the aro spectrum #i’m not sure tho

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snaggletoothedbastard · 8 months ago

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i know this is a thing that Literally Everyone says, but some people really do need to stop viewing their personal headcanons as Facts.

#listen. i get it.#i am in no way saying you're wrong or that you can't have those headcanons #you can have whatever headcanons you want #but if they're not canon then you can't really get mad when other people have different ideas #because people interpret things differently #this is sort of aimed at a post i saw just now but i didn't want to say this directly to that person #their post was basically about fandoms always putting aro/ace-coded characters in relationships #which is a completely fair point #but it was specifically about aroace *coded* characters with one (1) canonically ace pairing #i feel like the point would have worked better if it was about more canonically aroace characters #rather than characters that they just headcanon as aroace #because again: your headcanon is good but that doesn't mean it's canon #and it doesn't mean it's the only headcanon anyone can ever have #anyway i thought it would be better if i just made this a General Message for the General Public instead of targeting specific people #because that feels kinda rude #and i know i explained about the specific post that caused me to make this post so that might be contradictory idk #all i'm saying is just because you think a certain character is whatever doesn't mean everyone else thinks the same #and it doesn't mean everyone else's ideas aren't equally valid

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mewharley · 6 months ago

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I was so happy last pride when I found someone with the aroace flag:)

and another with the aro flag (but I didn't find them to take a photo 💔)

this year's is soon, let's see what I find:)

#lot of aces ❤️#I gave bracelets snd keychains lsst year 💜#ace bracelets :)#i don't have anything this year but who knows #maybe if i find more aro and aroace I might do something again #yes our pride event is in july oops

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jorvikzelda · 1 year ago

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Aroace ppl can still have relationships and stuff. They are still gay-

Oh yeah of course, I know this! sorry if it came across another way!

#was moreso trying to acknowledge the complexity of aspec identities and experiences than trying to erase it #and like. be fully clear on my Linda hcs across the board #so again. sorry if that did not in fact come across!#also I'm not aroace so I don't wanna speak over anyone but I feel like 'they're still gay' is a bit of a. blanket statement?#like i agree that aro & ace spec people are queer i am NOT an ace exclusionist but idk if every aroaspec person would identify as gay #anyway. not really my place probably. just rambling at this point #z talks #sorry if I speak about things in weird ways and places that arent mine to also btw #I am coming out of identifying as entirely ace for like 7 years and realising i might not be even acespec and it is an adjustment #in the whole. internet sphere #not trying to make excuses just explain why if i say weird shit lmfao

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moonmoonthecrabking · 2 years ago

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i want to write many things. many many things. in all of them, i would like a minimum of two bi characters, and in one of them i want all characters to be bi.

neither is common in media, so i guess it means i have to make it myself, even if it's just for me.

#also bc i want original media blah blah blah #and by 'bi' i mean 'bisexuality/biromanticism in its many forms incl. ace/aro bi folks and split attraction bi folks'#bi #bisexual #i want content thank you #i think the first bi character i saw was rosa diaz in brooklyn 99 when i was 14. i first thought 'oh i might be a little bi' when i was 15.#i also saw brittany on glee. again when i was 14. and crazy ex-girlfriend i think i was 15.#and those are really the three main shows that actually said 'bisexual' or 'bi'.#if i had these more frequently or from an earlier age i might have Figured Some Things Out earlier #(also i didn't watch lok so that's why i'm not mentioning it)#and then toh and hsmtmts and heartstopper have existed as more recent properties #and clearly i haven't been including books eg. well. heartstopper. and an absolutely remarkable thing by hank green.#but still. the fact is that there is not a lot of bisexuality in mainstream media. (it's especially lacking for bi folks who aren't women)#i'm really grateful that rosa was the first bi character i saw #bc they explained 'she goes both ways. this isn't a phase or point of confusion for her.'#and the way her parents reacted is exactly how i imagine mine would #i got sidetracked #and even still. only one of those shows has multiple canonically bi characters.#and maybe if i had these from a younger age or more frequently i would've been able to notice 'that's not platonic/a rolemodel'#i'm really grateful that we have shows with younger target audiences showing bi characters but that said it's so few #and i'm still really thankful that hsmtmts depicts a girl who's multisexual who has a boyfriend but figures out 'oh this is attraction.#to a girl.'#and she processes that. and while it's not perfect (i made a post on it mid-september' gosh i felt seen.#also also while i'm here i don't want to write exclusively secular queer characters. i mean 1. that's not an experience i've lived #but 2. even if it were. apparently a lot of queer adults in the us identify as religious.#and it's selfish but. if i had a queer christian character that would've helped me a lot. like there are queer ways of approaching faith.#how does a christian character approach the realisation that they aren't straight?#it's a journey #and it would've helped me understand. before i knew anything about myself. that it was okay.#that sometimes the nuance is most clearly seen when you exist in it. when you are the grey area.

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aria0fgold · 1 year ago

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I just realized something... I don't think I've ever experienced romantic attraction towards anyone, fictional or otherwise. Am I aro???

Felt like I had a sudden revelation and now I'm thinking bout it some more. I know everyone's experience is different but I'm unsure bout this one.

#aria rants #i know for a fact im ace tho #and i think... bi? or pan #like i aint straight thats for sure #tho i never thought of myself as aro #unsure bout it cuz like im a pretty romantic person #i like romance! i think its pretty nice and sweet!#the idea of there being someone that loves you a lot is sweet to me #then again... anyone can do that not just lovers huh #i think i might be aro

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idk-my-aesthetic · 7 months ago

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Currently hyperfixating hardcore on the devil is a part timer, and Hanzo Urushihara aka Fallen Demon General Lucifer is very much my emo pathetic failgirl blorbo so I’ve had a bit of a crush on him since I was like 13

Factors in my favor:

- +2 for basic “he’s socially awkward like me and I think we could vibe” and “we have similar interests”

- +1 bc he’s a shut in (in part bc that’s what he prefers in part bc he’s a little bit wanted by the law) and I’m okay with internet dating

- +? he’s so ADHD and he’s been reverse isakied so he doesn’t even know ADHD is a thing, I’m hoping I can get a relationship buff just by informing him and providing resources

Factors against me:

- -1 I’m fat and in cannon there’s some. Hurtful subtext. So I suppose it depends on the writer lmao?

- -??? I might have a bit too much faggotry swag for him ngl

Okay, dearest followers, be honest.

Which one of your fictional crushes do you truly believe that you could pull irl? Realistically. Taking all factors into account. Whether you were in their universe or not, up to you. But be HONEST.

#sorry for the long reply but #I’ve been going back and forth on writing a X self insert fic for like a week #truely a difficult question I’m ngl #my last self insert was a literal commentary on the inhability to truely capture all aspects of yourself at once in writing #so that’s the level of overthinking I do when writing #so for the past week I’ve been genuinely struggling to justify a romance between him and my self insert and it Feels Weird #I’m very analytical when writing romance especially as a person on the aro/ace spectrum #I try my best to justify romance with specific traits the characters appreciate or shared experiences #and I will say asking yourself ‘what of my traits would make someone fall in love with me?’ is a mindfuck #not even in a self deprecating way like #I like myself and I know things about myself that I like #but I have no clue what others might like #anyway sorry again to anyone who has to suffer through these tags lol #I know I take this way to damn serious but that’s how my brain works and i can’t really stop it #also isn’t it a bit fun to take stuff way too serious and turn a silly fun thing into a series of deep introspection?

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confused-canid · 4 months ago

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"B-b-but what if ur not actually aro!! What if u just haven't met the right person yet?? Ur still young 🥺"

Than I'll stop using the aro label. I'll realize that I was incorrect and go on with my life. No one's changed my mind yet though. I haven't met that "special someone 🥺🥺🥺🥺" "yet" so I don't care about this entirely hypothetical person.

Aphobes are stupid ngl. Realizing that this label doesn't fit me (which it will almost definitely still fit me as I get older) isn't going to be some world shattering event. I'll move on, I'll accept my mistake. Lol

I'm not ace, but this post wasn't about being aroallo so go wild, I se you aroaces and aces, y'all r cool so you can tag it as ace and aroace

Everyone in the reblogs and comments, talking about how finding the right person doesn't invalidate being aspec are right, I should've said that in the post, but this point has been made on this post by others a thousand times. It's getting a bit annoying. No hate but if it happens again I might turn of replies and if it happens again in a reblog I'm turning those off too.

#aro #aromanticism #aromantic #aromantism #arospec #aro pride #aphobia #fuck aphobes

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rugessnome · 1 year ago

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...

#...very occasionally I wonder if the way Pterry wrote about romance/sex might be more than merely an artistic choice #(one might label that artistic choice old fashioned as certainly it's sometimes akin to Victorian repression)#I haven't really read biographical stuff about him #but like... *whispers* much of his fiction feels like it could reflect an experience that might be labeled aro and/or ace spectrum...#(in any case it's pretty friendly to us)#...but again it could also just be not being open about that in the context idk #... like I don't actually like speculating on people's orientations and no resolution about accuracy is possible at this point

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squireofgeekdom · 5 days ago

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This was further discussed in a collider interview on Dec 5th which also talks more about the season, Jinx, Ambessa, Caitlyn and Vi, and Heimerdinger :D

"To me, Viktor was always asexual, and that was always something we talked about from the very beginning. So, a romantic relationship between Jayce and Viktor was just never part of it. There is a love, absolutely, but we also found it a bit... Love and relationships are so complex and take so many different forms. Viktor loves in a different way, and that's okay, no?

I like that answer.

LINKE: Well, it's something that when we talk to our LGBTQ group within Riot, I remember asking the group many, many years ago, like, "What is something that you never see depicted very well?" And someone said asexuality. They say it's often depicted as, like, emotionless when it's not true at all. It's just that your feelings don't mix with physical. So, to me, that was always part of Viktor. "

Ace Icon FTW!

ACE VIKTOR IS CANON ⚠️⚠️THIS IS NOT A DRILL⚠️⚠️ VIKTOR IS AN ACE ICON CONFIRMED!!!!!!!

Link to the post

#ace space #viktor #arcane #arcane s2 #arcane behind the scenes #ace(&aro) king ftw!#seeing similar discussion in english does read to me as #conflating asexuality and aromanticism /conflating sexuality and romance #which i think. insert xkcd geologists comic here. it's easy to forget that that's a really common frame of reference #and i will gladly take it with the good intent with which it's offered #he's got the spirit #i think the bit about love and relationships being complex and taking many different forms conveys that spirit #in a way that just tossing out terminology might not #viktor loves in a different way and that's okay #once again: i don't need wog validation but it's very cool to see people talking about asexuality #and thinking intentionally about telling stories about asexual characters #and in the context of queer community rep as well #and also. vindication XD #love it when we're looking at a character like 'one of us' and it was actually intentional

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