#but that’s how I end up getting disappointed and creating characters I will never get to play

[headful-of-worms]

I really need to stop getting my hopes up and brainstorming/ building D&D characters for campaigns that aren’t finalized or don’t even exist

[heechwe]

so high school | 𝖑𝖍𝖘

୨୧ pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 6.8k ୨୧ genre: fluff, smut ୨୧ tags: basketballplayer!heesung, nerd!reader, tutor!au, high school au, oral (f + m receiving), penetration (all characters are of age!), light choking ୨୧ synopsis: You and your boyfriend are complete opposites on paper—you, the girl hidden inside a book, and Heeseung, the star of the basketball team—but it feels so right every time you’re together.

Heeseung at the free-throw line, certain he will make the basket and win the championship, turns to look at you in the stands. The sounds of his coach, taunts from the opposing team, encouragement of his teammates, and commotion of the final game of the season all fade into the background. To him, all that matters besides the ball in his hands is you.

You, amongst the others in the crowd with their hearts in their mouths, have no fears for your boyfriend. The star player who’s going to make history has never given you doubts before in his talents. All you can do is smile, incredibly proud and incredulous at the thought that he is all yours and nobody else’s.

It’s almost unimaginable how the two of you found each other, coming from completely different worlds. But like all stories, similar to the ones you’ve read since childhood, the story of you and Heeseung has a clear beginning…

AUGUST

“Do you ever stop to—I don’t know—not read?” Jungwon asks, jotting down notes in his notebook.

You giggle and flip the page. “It’s the last book on Choi’s summer reading list. Besides,” you retort, looking directly at your best friend, “how else would I be able to read and still remember what you just said to me if I didn’t practice?”

“Fuck off.” You lightly knock his shoulder with yours.

Even though it was still very early in the school year, you still had a lot to concentrate  on with the month coming to an end. Like the first novel Mrs. Choi selected on her extensive reading list. You planned to discuss it with the members of the school’s book club, your notes already tucked in your backpack for today’s Friday meeting.

Now, sitting with Jungwon in the hallway as you eat your lunch, your focus is solely on finishing the last fifty pages of the last book in the list Mrs. Choi created. Jungwon closes his notebook and gets up from his spot next to you. “Alright, I gotta head to Chem.  I’ll see you after school!” With a wink, he runs down the hallway and disappears down the corner.

Who you don’t expect to pop up next to disturb the sudden quiet of the surrounding area is Lee Heeseung, star shooting guard for the school’s basketball team. You never spoke to him before, but his reputation and family’s legacy preceded him. His brother was the shooting guard for the team years ago, breaking numerous records before he graduated. Now, Heeseung’s definitely filling his brother’s shoes and then some.

As a person, however, you know nothing about the boy at all. This year, though, you shared the same English class with Mrs. Choi. She cared little for his extracurriculars or persona around campus; what mattered to her was the effort of her students and the quality of the classwork.

Heeseung passes you by on his way towards his destination, not sparing a glance. You sit attentively as he knocks on Mrs. Choi’s classroom door.

She answers after a moment, a somber smile on her lips. “What can I do for you, Mr. Lee?”

He clears his throat and asks her, “You saw my message and I—“

“I am aware, Mr. Lee. My response still stands. Is there something else you need?” Mrs. Choi sees you out of the corner of her eye, but she doesn’t acknowledge your snooping.

“I will do anything to correct my last assignment. Please,” Heeseung begs.

“Mr. Lee, the cutoff for submissions was last week. I’m sorry, but your grade is final.” She sighs and looks at her watch.

“There’s nothing I can do to bring it up before the first game?” Heeseung asks, his voice growing thin from his frustration. He’s not rude, but clearly disappointed he isn’t getting his way with his big eyes and pleading words.

“How about this? I’ll tell Coach Sung you’re working on a paired project to make up the grade.”

“Perfect.” Heeseung breathes a sigh of relief before he takes in the rest of her sentence. “Wait, who’s my partner?”

Mrs. Choi extends her arm out to point in your direction. Immediately, you want to tuck yourself in your book and hide. You did not intend for your interest in their conversation to put you right in the middle of it, and now you wish you hadn’t feigned curiosity at all.

“She’s one of my best students, so you’re in great hands.” She turns her head so both you and Heeseung can hear her. “I’ll send both of you the information for the project later today.”

You didn’t notice Heeseung had kept his focus on you until you broke your stare-off with Mrs. Choi. Her lips are upturned in a secret smirk when you turn your attention to him.

Heeseung isn’t bad to look at, the definition of his muscles peeking out of his shirt in multiple places and his brown hair falling into his face. Each piece of his physical being represents the epitome of a Greek god’s form. But the fact neither of you had ever interacted up to this point is what scares you more than his intimidatingly good looks.

When Mrs. Choi gently closes the door, Heeseung awkwardly walks over to your position, towering over you. Ironically, his presence physically embodies your feelings towards him, this stranger now being shoved into your life.

“I’m Heeseung.”

You give him a close-lipped smile and extend your hand out to him, your name leaving your lips immediately. Displaying fake confidence, you hope he can’t tell how terrified you are.

His eyes brighten when his hand touches yours. You stand up, hand still in his, and the feeling of his palm against yours causes you to fumble your next words. “S-so I guess I should give you my number. I mean so once we get the assignment—“

Heeseung smirks. “Usually girls flirt a little more before asking for my number.”

You scoff and tuck your book closer. “I was offering to give you mine, actually. For educational purposes.”

The noise of his laughter fills the small corridor. “Right.”

You roll your eyes, suddenly feeling annoyance creeping under your skin. “Well, if it’s that hard to swap information, you can find me after school in the library.” You walk away, but Heeseung follows quickly behind.

“I have practice once the last bell rings.”

You look at him with serious eyes, not bothering to stop your stride towards the stairs. “Tell Coach you can’t make it.”

“Are you nuts?” Heeseung says, eyes wide.

You smirk. “You have to get your grade up to play, right?”

You watch the clock in the library with scrutiny. Members of the book club have been gone for half an hour, but you chose to stay behind. School let out an hour ago, and yet you’re still holding out hope Heeseung will come. But every minute that goes by proves you have to face facts: you’re now forced to collaborate with a stereotypical jock.

Mr. Kim, the head librarian, puts the disorganized books on the shelves as you tap your pencil on the table. “Waiting for someone? You don’t usually stick around this late,” Mr. Kim says with a smile.

You grin back, the sentiment not reaching your eyes. “You could say that.”

After another ten minutes of silence, you give up. You begin packing up your belongings, shaking your head and mumbling to yourself the entire time. Curse your interest in the guy and his lack of care for his academics. No wonder his grade was in the tank already. What was the point of athletics if he didn’t have other prospects to fall back on?

Just as you’re walking out of the library, Heeseung runs into you. Sweat’s dripping from his forehead and his breaths are labored. Clearly, he chose basketball over your project. You want to punch him for putting you both in this position.

“I swear I was going to blow off practice,” Heeseung says, but he can see your doubt in his words on your face.

“Sure. How about this? Figure out how to do the project on your own.” You press your body into his to push him out of your way. He follows in suit and rubs the spot you shoved, pretending to be wounded.

It only fuels your ire. You’ve only spoken to the jerk twice and you’re already tired of him treating every word you say and feeling you have like a joke. “Is failing that amusing to you?”

Heeseung’s expression immediately goes cold. “I’m not failing.”

“Sure. So Choi’s just doing this to torture you.”

He weighs his response in his mind before answering. “I may not be perfect, but Choi is really hard on grading.”

“That first assignment was just about what your future looks like after high school.” You push your backpack over your arm. “Excuse her for thinking you had plans outside of throwing a ball around a field.”

That laugh of his may just be the end of your life. He chuckles hard and puts a hand out to stop you. “First of all, that’s football.” He tries to make you look at him directly, but you refuse, too angry to give into what he wants. 

He continues anyway. “Second, basketball is my life. Past, present, future, okay? Without it, I don’t even know where I’d be.”

His voice is sincere, more honest than it’s been before. Regardless, your understanding and disappointment is evident. “Don’t you think that that’s the problem?”

“It hasn’t been one before. Suddenly I say it out loud and it’s an issue?” Heeseung’s voice raises a decibel, clearly agitated and back to his cold exterior.

If he wants to fight about this, you’re game.

“No,” you say, matching his vocal level. “The issue is that your focus is solely on basketball when there’s more important things in life than a dumbass court and sweaty guys trying to make touchdowns.” 

“You’re mixing up your sports analogies, angel.” Heeseung steps closer, testing your boundaries. Your chest heaves up and down, your breath labored. You may just slap him if he gets closer.

“You know what I mean.”

“Are you going to help me or not?” A fraction of his expression slips. His eyes challenge you in both irritation and anxiety. The bravado’s merely a mask for the fear that he’ll lose the one thing he wants the most in this world. And did you have it in you to be the reason he couldn’t have it?

You sigh and rub your palm across your forehead. “Tomorrow, meet me at the marketside pier. 8 AM. Take it or leave it.”

He releases a humorless chuckle. “You’re not gonna make this easy are you?”

“Not on your life.”

Heeseung is there at one of the pier’s wooden picnic tables with his materials sprawled out when you arrive at 7:45. You weren’t expecting for him to be there on time, much less earlier than you. The sun reflects off of his hair, turning the brown curls almost orange. Like the first time you saw him, you can’t help but be reminded that he is painstakingly attractive.

You give him a shy smile and put your backpack down next to you.

“I can tell you’re surprised,” Heeseung says with a small smile.

“A bit, yeah.” You unzip your bag to grab your English textbook. “I thought on the weekends you typically do…’fitness stuff.’” He laughs at your air quotes.

“Well, to be honest, I wake up at 6 AM every morning for drills with my dad.”

Your eyes go wide. “Wow.”

“Yeah. Like you said, my sole focus is on that damn ball,” Heeseung says, opening his own textbook. “But I want to change that.”

“So you can keep playing,” you remind him, teasing the poor guy.

“Half true,” Heeseung says. “But I shouldn’t have left you hanging, yesterday.”

You nod. “I appreciate your apology.” You grab a pencil from your bag, pushing on the eraser until the lead pops up. “And I shouldn’t have been so judgmental. You have to be good at stuff besides basketball, even if it’s not studying.”

“Hey! I’m doing well in all my other classes, thank you very much.” You both share a minute of laughter. “But, to be honest, I do like to sing.”

You roll your eyes. “Okay, Troy Bolton.”

“For real! One day, I’ll take you to karaoke. I won’t make fun of you if you can’t keep up with me.”

“Okay, we’ll see.” You direct his focus back on to the page. “Now, onto Shakespeare.”

SEPTEMBER

Although Heeseung took his sweet, laborious time to translate and understand Shakespeare’s old English, the project went off without a hitch. Mrs. Choi was even surprised herself, in disbelief you pulled such an expansive and well-thought analysis out of the quintessential jock.

Now, it seemed the best next step to keep Heeseung on the right track was to sit him right next to you. Your initial partnership continued to benefit him in both his success in English and focus on academics, possibly for the first time in his high school career.

Better than that, he may have found a new friend in you that he wouldn’t have had otherwise.

By the end of one Tuesday class, Heeseung asks you to have lunch with him and his friends, a request that makes your previous seating buddy in English, Yujin, freak out.

Both her and Jungwon corner you on your way out when you tell them the news.

“No fucking way,” she whispers excitedly, slapping you on the back with vigor.

“That hurt,” you moan.

“Are you prepared?” Jungwon asks, smirking.

“Prepared for what?”

“The lion’s den, dude! You’re gonna be with not just his douche friends, but also the cheerleaders, other sports players…be prepared for the worst,” Jungwon grumbles.

“Oh shut up, Won!” Yujin threatens to hit him too, but he retracts. “Have fun on your pseudo first date.”

“It’s not a date!”

By the time lunch comes around, you hold yours with shaky hands, searching the lunch courtyard for the jock’s table. You usually sat with Jungwon or Yujin in the hallway of the English department to eat. Now, you’re a small fish in a big pond, waiting to be eaten alive.

Was it, in fact, a date, like your friends hypothesized? Did you have to try and impress Heeseung more than normal? Did you want Heeseung to take you on a date, real or fake, to begin with?

"Hey!"

Heeseung waves you over with a confident but over-exaggerated arm, flapping it wildly so you notice. He didn't need to do that, though; you could pick out his voice in any crowd.

You walk over with a smile and sit down, feeling small next to the strangers you had not met until this moment. The basketball team's not unwelcome, but they are awkward at your sudden presence at their usual lunch table, even if Heeseung made it known beforehand that you would be hanging out with them to eat.

He says your name and introduces you to his friends. "And that's Sunghoon, Jeongsong, and Jaeyun." You recognize the last two, Jay and Jake. Jake, the strikingly blonde one, has Chemistry with you this year. He smiles and tips his soda can at you in acknowledgement.

"Hee was telling us you’ve been saving him this term in English. Choi can be a pain in the ass, am I right?" Sunghoon and Jeongsong share a laugh, but you bristle at the comment.

"Not really," you say. "Choi sponsors my book club, so we have a good relationship. I think that's why she wanted me to whip Heeseung into shape in the first place." You elbow Heeseung in the side, and he grins in response.

"She's probably right."

"Book club kid, huh?" Jake asks. "Haven't been one of those since elementary school."

Jake's comments make the entire team laugh. Your cheeks turn pink and Heeseung takes a sip from his drink, his posture stiffening in the process.

"It's not a bad thing though," Jake interjects amidst their laughter. "Books are fun."

"A bit nerdy, though," Sunghoon comments.

A girl next to Sunghoon smacks him hard in the arm, but he just pokes his tongue at her.

Your anxiety spikes sitting there with all of these people, your gut feelings a reminder that they’re all a part of Heeseung’s world, not yours.

You clear your throat and stand up from the table. “I forgot to say, Hee, I have to do something for Choi anyway.” Heeseung’s face turns down at the corners. The only audible response you receive is from Jay and Sunghoon in the form of snickers.

”Run along, pet,” Sunghoon comments with a smirk.

You hope your eyes give the offense you won’t bother saying out loud. Fuck off, asshole.

When you make it to your usual lunch spot, Yujin and Jungwon are surprised to see you walking down the hallway.

”What happened?” Yujin asks.

”Exactly what Won said was going to happen,” you confess, sitting down in a criss-cross position beside her. “Now give me your chips.”

When the end of the day comes around, Heeseung catches you on your usual trek to the bus. “You’re forgiven, by the way.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What did I do?”

”You left me alone with my shithead teammates! I needed you there for backup, y’know.” He smirks and grabs your backpack from your shoulder to put around his arm. “I’m sorry about them. Sunghoon, mostly.”

”Can’t believe you’re friends with that guy,” you mumble.

”He’s the only one who I’m not friends with, truthfully. The others are cool. They’re just not used to new people.”

”I never would have guessed.”

Heeseung’s laugh is hearty, with a dazzling smile to match. You can almost forget the heap of embarrassment you felt earlier when you look at him like this, carefree and youthful.

“Anyway, let me give you a ride,” he offers, pointing to the senior parking lot. His car is freshly washed, its coat of paint identical to the school’s colors of blue with silver accents.

”What will your friends say?” you ask with a fake gasp.

”Fuck them. Besides, you’re also one of my friends. Now let’s go.” He takes your hand to walk in the direction of his car, not releasing your palm until you’re at his passenger side door.

As you give him directions, your mind goes back to the labels you had been running through in your mind all day. Were you Heeseung’s friend? Yes. Did you want to be more? Surely he didn’t just ask anyone to have lunch with him and his friends if he didn’t have other intentions, right? So, in that case, did yours match his?

A part of you wants to say yes, but the rational piece keeps you in check. It’s ridiculous to expect more than a friendship. How could you when it was so obvious your worlds were so far from each other, your friendship a simple fluke? You were grateful for his presence in your life, knowing without him it would be a bit darker, but would it last?

Yet here you were. Sitting happily in his car, hair blowing in the wind as his thumb grazes the outside of your hand, you try to enjoy all the time you do have together.

OCTOBER

”This is ridiculous!”

”Come on, just try it!”

”When did I ever say I was good at sports?” You groan, holding the ball in your hands with nervous fingers. The basketball court at your local park is occupied only by you and Heeseung, but it feels as though there’s a thousand people in the metal stands watching you, waiting for you to mess up.

”You said if I passed the last test you would let me show you how to make a free throw.” Heeseung has his hands in his pockets, his letterman jacket flapping in the autumn wind.

“If I suck at this, you’re never going to talk to me again. Just watch.” You try to dribble the ball across the court, but it falls between your legs before you can travel any further.

Heeseung puts his face behind his hand, clearly chuckling to himself. You scoff at him and the response you saw coming the second he put the ball in your hands. “See? I told you you would think I’m embarrassing!”

He raises his hands in defense. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s just cute, that’s all.”

”’Cute’ is probably the nicest way you could say I’m embarrassing.” You kick the basketball in his direction. He catches it without any effort, his face still shaped in a state of enjoyment.

”I said cute because I meant cute, you dork.” He steps to the free-throw line and motions for you to join him. You do, grumbling and grunting the entire way.

”Now, you have to relax. The only way you have half a shot at making the basket is if you stop tensing up.” He hands you the ball again and steps behind you.

He puts his hands on your hips. his palms soft against your hoodie. You can practically feel the heat of his skin through the material of your clothing, and you hope he can’t tell how much your heartbeat has spiked from him being so close to you.

”Next thing is to bend your knees. They can’t be locked up.” You listen to his words, trying not to focus on how his body is making yours react. You may be imagining it, but even his voice sounds a bit breathless from the small distance between yourself and him.

His lips are ghosting over your ear when he says, ”Now shoot.”

You release the ball from your hands, hoping the angle of your throw and Heeseung’s directions will prove you’re partially competent. 

And sure enough, the basket makes it in a single whoosh. You turn in Heeseung’s grasp, releasing a happy cheer. “That was amazing!”

You feel the rush of the shot in your veins, but suddenly the only thing that makes your body hum in pleasure is the sudden crash of Heeseung’s lips against yours.

Unsure how to react, you stand there frozen in place as his mouth moves on its own accord. But slowly, surely, happily, you fall deeply into his embrace. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and feel the press of his tongue against your mouth, begging for entrance.

You comply, letting the feeling of him and the thrill of this private moment in both of your worlds fill you to the brim with quiet pleasure and happiness.

[LHS] Can we talk, please?

[LHS] Did I do something wrong??

[LHS] IDC if you don’t respond. I’ll keep texting until you say something…

[LHS] Don’t leave me hanging :(

You sigh and throw your phone to the other side of the bed, tucking your comforter closer to your chest. Deciding to stay home from school was probably not the best way to handle your problems, but just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you’re sensible all the time.

This weekend’s excursion with Heeseung was beautiful, no doubt. But the fears continued to creep in with little regard for how happy he made you that day or all the days that came before it. Would how he felt about you last any longer than his basketball season? Did he entertain this simply for the fact that it was entertainment and nothing more? 

The thoughts had been too much when you said goodbye to him on your doorstep with another hasty, giddy kiss and all the hours following it. Maybe you were self-sabotaging, but it was better to manage expectations now than be crushed in the aftermath.

When Yujin calls you during lunch, you have half a mind to ignore it. You answer anyway to avoid your friends thinking something drastic happened.

”Hello,” you mumble, the effects of your late morning nap hitting you.

”Dude, Heeseung’s on a tear today. He even asked Jungwon where you were, and I didn’t even think he knew the kid existed. What the hell happened on Saturday?”

Before you can respond, you hear the sound of your doorbell. “I gotta go. I’ll tell you later.” You hang up, hastily grabbing your fuzzy robe before running downstairs.

You don’t bother looking through the peephole to see who it is, but you curse yourself for not doing so when you’re confronted with Heeseung. He’s a sweaty and panting mess, but he doesn’t care for his appearance. His face morphs into relief when he sees you staring back at him.

”Thank God,” he says before stepping closer to you. He runs his hand over your forehead, frowning. “You’re not sick.”

You shake your head.

”So, you just ignore me all weekend and then don’t show up to school today?”

You sigh. “I didn’t know what to say when I saw you.”

He gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing. “So you chose not to see me at all? Was kissing me that terrible?

”No!” You run a frustrated hand through your hair, the spot in your hallway suddenly too cramped. You push him back outside and close the door behind you. “I don’t regret it at all. And I’d do it again if I could.”

Heeseung smirks at that, clearly happy with your response. “So, what’s the problem?”

”The problem is that when you get bored of me, things won’t go back to normal for me like they will for you, Hee. You may think this is a game but—“

Heeseung’s sudden laugh is marked with a bitterness. His eyes grow serious, so much so your words stop short because of his stone expression

”Do you think that little of me?”

Your body tenses at his words, unsure how to respond. You have never thought of him as lesser than once, not since getting to know him. But maybe only looking at your feelings regarding your relationship compromised his own in the process.

He steps closer, your faces an inch apart. “Two months ago, I didn’t realize how much my life was going to change because of you. All I thought about before was basketball. And now, you’re one of the only things outside of that damn game that matters to me. When I haven’t talked to you or seen you for too long it’s like there’s this rock in my gut that I can’t get rid of. I kissed you because I wanted to, not for fun or because it’s this momentary thing.

”So, if you still think I’m going to get bored of you in a few days or weeks or months, then you really aren’t as smart as I thought you were, angel. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Breathless would be too small of a word to describe how his speech affects you. You feel the same buzz of his kiss from a few days throughout your entire body from his words alone. It makes every worry and fear that has plagued you evaporate, replaced with his promises and all the reasons you should jump in headfirst without another thought.

So you do.

You kiss him hard, crashing into his lips and hoping all of the feelings he harbors reflect in the actions of your mouth. You hold onto him with your hands on his neck and the smoothness of your lips in a beautiful rhythm with each other.

Whatever happens next, you know there’s no turning back now.

NOVEMBER

“And Sim, our prime point-guard, passes to Lee. Lee has ten seconds to make another three pointer and win the game. Will he do it? Time to find out!” Kim Sunwoo screams into the microphone, broadcasting the highlights of the semi-final game to the many listeners not attending in-person.

Lucky for you, you have the perfect spot in the stands to watch Heeseung make the winning basket and lead the team to victory.

The crowd roars when your boyfriend secures the team’s spot in the championship game. His teammates lift him up above their heads and shoulders, chanting his name and holding him with all of their strength. Heeseung immediately searches the crowd for you, his excitement fueling his newfound focus.

When he does see you, clapping your hands and cheering with the rest of the bystanders, he kisses the inside of his palm and shoots it in your direction like he’s making another basket. Your heart squeezes at the gesture, but you only blush and wink.

Ever since that day on your doorstep, you can’t seem to separate yourself from him or the feelings he stirs up inside of you. The thought and reality of not seeing or hearing from him for too long immediately dampens your spirits, just like Heeseung described to you when he confessed. Jungwon calls you “lovesick fools” every time you both are in his presence, but it’s not that. The love you feel for your boyfriend is one that strengthens every sense, impulse, and desire. Without it and him, that’s when you feel the weakest. And every time Heeseung smiles at you or holds you close, you can tell he feels the same.

Whether your worlds were the exact same or as different as they possibly could be, you both made your own perfectly fit for just the two of you.

The outside world has to creep in every once in a while, though.

At the end of the night, Heeseung’s arm is wrapped perfectly around you as you walk. You discuss your shared plans for the night and subsequent weekend since your parents are away at a work conference. Heeseung stops short when he sees his father waiting at his car with crossed arms.

“Good job, Hee,” He says first and foremost. “Saw you lost a bit of steam in the third quarter, though. We’ll have to do some more conditioning before the final.”

And there it was. The judgment you saw so often in conversations between Heeseung and his father that made you ache for the boy you loved. As his father, he should’ve been proud to see his sons succeeding, one of them off and playing for a world-renowned team and the other on his way there. Instead, all they received was judgment. It wasn’t your place, but you couldn’t wait for the day Heeseung stood up to him.

“At least I made the winning basket, right?” Heeseung shrugs off the criticism with a laugh and holds you closer. “We have to go eat, so—“

“Of course.” His father moves out of your way. “Lovely to see you again, darling,” He says to you with a small smile as he opens the passenger door for you. You return his greeting, suddenly uncomfortable with how close he is.

On your drive to your house, you try to help Heeseung destress with a hand on his thigh. “Don’t let him get to you,” you say sadly.

He smiles and gives you a knowing stare. “I’ve been dealing with him my whole life. He doesn’t have that power anymore.” He takes your hand from his thigh to hold it tightly in his own palm. “Besides, I’m one step closer to the championship and I got my girl next to me. Nothing’s getting in the way of my good night.”

You set your backpacks down at the door when you step inside your house. Heeseung follows you to the kitchen. While you’re finding the flier with the number of your favorite takeout restaurant, Heeseung presses his lips to your neck. The trail of his kisses going from the back of your ear to the start of your collarbone makes you shiver.”

“Hee,” you warn him. “We won’t be able to eat if you keep distracting me.”

“Food is the second priority,” he responds, lips feathering your skin. “Right now, we need to celebrate the championship.”

“The championship is still three weeks away.”

“If we both know I’m going to win, what’s the point of delayed gratification?” He pulls the sleeve of your shirt down to expose the top of your shoulder, kissing that area too to make your body thrum with pleasure.

“Speaking of that…” You turn to face Heesung, pressing your back against the counter. “I guess we can celebrate something tonight besides your impending win.”

Heeseung raises an eyebrow.

“I got early acceptance to Sky.”

Heeseung’s eyes immediately light up at your announcement. He pulls you in by the waist and spins you around the tiny space between your kitchen island and the fridge.

When the topic of college came up, it was as good a time as any for the two of you to discuss your future plans with each other. As fate would have it, Heeseung planned to play for Sky University’s basketball team next year, and you were waiting on your official acceptance letter when you both started dating.

Now, Heeseung would have the two most important things to him in the next chapter of his life. The boy’s over the moon, as any other person would be.

Heeseung lifts you over his shoulder, immediately heading in the direction of the stairs to take you to your bedroom. He laughs off your mock protest.

He knows for certain he’s in love with you. It may not be the perfect time to say it, especially before he’s about to ravish you, but the perfect time will come when it feels right.

He doesn’t say it when he strips you bare for only his eyes as he kisses you senseless, shocked and grateful your body is for him and him alone to see and cherish. He doesn’t say it as you kiss every inch of his bare chest to send him into a rambling mess of praises and curses.

Somehow, stupidly, the words slip out when your mouth is wrapped around his cock, tongue flat against the underside of his tip as he feels the back of your throat against him.

“Fuck, I love you so much.”

The air stills, both your bodies going rigid at the sudden confession that has just left his lips. But, instead of running scared, you take your mouth off of him and stare deeply into his eyes, smiling wide. “What’d you say?”

Heeseung breathes out a sigh of relief, suddenly taking your face in his hands and kissing you deeply. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the second I saw you in that hallway. I just didn’t know it yet.”

You giggle and press another kiss to his lips. He sees a tear leave your eye, and he wipes it away gently with his thumb. “I love you, too, Heeseung.”

You fall back into a steady rhythm of kissing and touching, Heeseung’s hands roaming the skin of your stomach, the swell of your breasts, and the cleft between your thighs, making you moan.

“Let me show you how much I love you,” Heeseung whispers against your lips.

He lays you flat on your back, kissing what areas he hasn’t touched yet with his hands. He needs you to know, in every moment, he chooses you and will never stop choosing to be with you.

If he had to make the choice to either give up the game or you, he would choose the former in a heartbeat. His dad, his friends, and even fate may say it’s young love and you haven’t been in his life as long as basketball has, but they don’t see him the way you do.

Even if he doesn’t say it out loud, he knows he doesn’t have to. 

When Heeseung finally presses his lips to your clit, kissing the nub with adoration, your legs shake at the contact. You instantly run your fingers into his hair. “Fuck,” you curse, the word rarely slipping from your lips save for moments like these.

The first time you had been together, Heeseung didn’t know exactly how to touch you without being terrified it was too much. But now he knows all the ways to turn you into a beautiful mess.

He licks languidly across your center and through your folds, keeping the perfect pace for you to ride your hips against his mouth. He inserts a finger into your entrance after coating the digit in the arousal already pooling at your center. You, typically so put together, are ready to fall apart at the simple press of his mouth against you.

Heeseung knows he can get you off this way, without question. And most nights, he doesn’t mind when you’re the only one who receives pleasure. But tonight, you moan out a request that he can’t say no to.

“Heeseung, please. I want you inside me when I come.” He doesn’t have to be told what to do twice when it’s the best command he’s heard all night.

He takes your mouth in his, holding your jaw in his hand and slightly applying pressure to the side of your neck. A half-empty moan leaves your lips at the sudden contact. To him, the sounds that you make are their own form of poetry, better than anything you’ve read to him all year.

Heeseung quickly grabs a foil packet from your bedside drawer to put on himself, protection being the one thing you can’t forget in the midst of your desire for each other. Lining himself up with your entrance, he thinks you could not look more beautiful with your half-lidded eyes and eager hands grabbing onto his hips to finally push him inside of you.

When he does ease in, he swallows the curse prepared to leave your mouth with his lips. It’s an indescribable feeling, the stretch and pull of your walls taking him in completely. Although you’ve been together many times before this night, it’s still a novelty Heeseung does not take for granted.

He takes his time establishing a rhythm, loving the pants and whimpers you emit because of him and for him. He holds his hand on your throat, his thumb going into your mouth for you to wrap your lips around in a lewd manor.

“Ah, fuck,” you say as he snaps his hips, filling you to the hilt. “Just like that.”

He feels his orgasm in his gut, threading further up his body as he snaps his hips harder and faster, moving in and out at a faster pace than normal. You don’t mind, scratching lines down his back as you cling to him. You’re both reduced to a heap of I love you’s and satisfied sounds, and it could not be more perfect.

“Fuck, Hee, I’m coming,” you say in the form of a promise, one so precious he wants to hear it every day.

The flutter of your walls around him as you fall apart pushes him to his own end, releasing into the condom with a guttural moan. He kisses you deeply before separating from you, running to the bathroom to throw the remnants of your lovemaking into the toilet and clean himself up.

You hold your arms out to him, ready to have him back by your side. He grins and kisses the crown of your forehead.

“Think about all the nights we can do this next year,” Heeseung whispers into the dark.

“I can’t wait,” you respond, pressing a kiss to his sweaty chest. “I love you.”

He grins happily to himself, the words a thousand times more powerful leaving your mouth. “I love you, too, angel.”

With your body curled into his chest, your heartbeats matching in tempo, he thinks no amount of championship wins could compare to the love he’s found in you.

DECEMBER

The basketball feels light as air in Heeseung’s hands, incomparable to the feeling in his chest looking at you. His teammates can tell he’s staring directly at your position in the stands. They wonder how his mind is still so occupied by you, even amongst the sea of spectators waiting for him to either succeed or screw up

Little do they realize, you’re the exact reason he’s going to win the title.

As he looks in your direction, he takes the shot without second-guessing himself. He hears the faint gasps of some attendees and even his coach, but the following swish of the basket in the hoop tells Heeseung all he needs to hear. And all he needs to see is your beautiful, proud face as the gym explodes into cheers.

You’re the best and truest thing he has in this world. He knows he’s a champion, in both the traditional and figurative sense. With you by his side, he’ll always feel like the winner of every game he’ll ever play.

[hiraethwrote]

ADMIRING FROM AFAR

pairing : choso kamo x f!reader summary : suddenly the quiet, alternative looking guy catches your eye in class and you're unable to shake the idea of him. from afar, you start to create a fantasy of what he might be like — and eventually your imagination has made up a character you slowly find yourself falling for cw : university au, non-curse/modern au, fluff, pining, pierced and tattooed!choso, smoking, one mention of a party, yuki cameo, terrible ending bc i suck at writing endings, no use of y/n word count : 3.6k

Hallway crush!Choso who didn’t stick out to you until you were halfway through the semester, on a random Tuesday.

The only reason he caught your attention in the first place was because he actually raised his hand to answer the professor’s question, something he had never done before, or since.

His husky, yet surprisingly soft voice, broke the deafening silence that came after the question was asked. Nearly in a trance, your head shot up to get a look of the mysterious guy.

Never had you been more thankful for the mandatory core courses you were forced to sign up for — you would never have encountered him otherwise.

Sitting two rows in front of you and five seats to the left, you weren’t able to get a clear view of the guy. However, what you did see, did not disappoint. Tufts of black hair was tied up in two buns, and silver jewlery decorated his ear. He was wearing all black, shy lines of ink peaking up the neck of his shirt and past his sleeves.

From that moment, you were hooked on the idea of this stranger.

Hallway crush!Choso who you spotted nearly daily now that you were aware of his existence.

You had an assignment due in one week, so you decided to go to the library to actually get some work done for once.

Three hours into your study session, you had to exhale deeply as your motivation was running low. So you let your eyes roam the peaceful scenery of fellow students, some more dutiful than others — when you suddenly spot the mystery guy from class, sitting with three other people.

He looked so casual, leaned back in his chair, arms loosely crossed across his chest as a chuckle played on his lips as a response to something the person sitting next to him said.

Now that you had the opportunity to get a proper look at him, you noticed how extremely good looking he was — the type of breathtakingly handsome that hid in plain sight by how he never tried to stick out whatsoever.

For the next hour, you would subtly shoot glances in his direction. In all honesty, you felt somewhat embarrassed by how you found yourself a little infatuated by a guy you didn’t even know the name of.

All of a sudden he raised from his chair, having you straighten your posture. He pulled his leather jacket over his shoulders, his bag across his chest and put his headset on — with a smile and a nod, he begged his friends goodbye and left.

Hallway crush!Choso who, despite having his small group of friends, tended to stick mostly to himself.

Yeah, he sat with his little crew for a few hours, but he always left before the rest of them. Not to mention you often spotted him walking from one class to another in his lonesome.

On the days the library was absolutely packed, and it was impossible for you and your friends to find any available seats, you would sit down at one of the sofa groups in one of the university’s many long hallways. None of you complained either, as there wasn’t the same pressure to remain quiet.

It just so happened that the man who had captured your interest, walked right past your designated spot at least three times every week.

His headset was on like always, walking with easy determination. He simply seemed to mind his own business as he smoothly made his way through the hallway without bumping into anyone.

Your attraction to the dark and handsome stranger wasn’t as subtle as you first had thought, when it didn’t take your friends more than a day to notice your admiring gazes hanging onto him for the few seconds it took for him to walk by.

“Who’s that?” Your friend asked with a playful lilt to her voice, leaning forward and placing her chin in the palm of her hand.

“Hm? Just someone in my social science class,” you answered nonchalantly with a shrug just as he was out of sight.

“Just someone in your social science class,” she repeated mockingly. “And what’s his name?”

Hot embarrassment raised up your neck, “I don’t know,” your voice weak as their teasing chuckles filled the space.

“So you’re just ogling a stranger, essentially?”

“Shut up, he’s hot,” you fired back as you fell back in your chair, desperately trying to ignore their laughter.

Hallway crush!Choso who only continued to remain a mystery as the weeks went on.

It quickly evolved into somewhat of an inside joke — a game almost, all of you pitching in with silly little ideas of what he might be like.

“He looks like a cat person,” your friend whispered as he walked by.

“Oh, no doubt,” you agreed, eyes glued on his back. “Probably grew up with a family cat that always sleeps at the foot of his bed.”

“You think he greets the cat before his family?” She giggled.

You laughed along as you slowly shook your head no. “Don’t think so. He greets his mom first,” you turned your attention to your notebook, your pen drawing mindless doodles across the pages. “He’s a mama’s boy. But not in a weird way, you know? But in a green flag way.”

They would all laugh along to the daily chatter that filled the group before turning back to their own work, forgetting all about him until he would walk by again.

You, however, couldn’t shake him from your mind quite as easily.

The more they fuelled your fantasy with their fun and innocent ideas of who he might be, you fell deeper into the spiral of your crush.

When left alone with your own mind, your imagination went beyond the small quirks your group came up with — you started to imagine meet-cutes.

What if you “randomly” bumped into him at the little coffee shop just off campus?

What if you were paired up for a group assignment?

What if you ended up next to each other in the kitchen at some random frat party, and the conversation would just flow so naturally?

However, you kept those made up scenarios to yourself, because it was too shameful to admit to your friends that you were slowly falling for the person you had made him out to be — still without a name to put to the face.

Hallway crush!Choso who broke your heart just a little, though totally unaware of the fact.

“I didn’t know your man had a girlfriend.” You shot your friend a confused expression before following her gaze.

That was a first. You had never seen him walking down the hallway accompanied by someone. Let alone a tall, blonde and absolutely gorgeous girl, pure confidence running through every fibre of her body.

After that, you saw just the two of them more often than you liked. And you knew it was absolutely ridiculous to even be bothered by the pair, but you couldn’t control how the lump in your stomach formed at the sight of how well they seemed to fit together.

Her look wasn’t quite as edgy as his, but they definitely had the same vibe. Not to mention they seemed to be close, evident by how she always leaned in and grabbed onto his upper arm when he made her laugh, or how just the two of them would leave their study session in the library to share a cigarette.

You hoped seeing them together would eventually kill the proximity crush your brain had stupidly nourished — it turned out to be the opposite.

Watching him interact with her only granted your imagination new material to build on. Whenever she spoke, he had all his attention directed at her — genuinely listening to every word she said. You watched how he was gentle with her, careful not to be too harsh in his movements whenever he made contact with her.

He just seemed like such a good guy, who made your heart beat a little faster every time you saw him.

Hallway crush!Choso who one day actually did crash into you in the line in the cafeteria.

At first you thought you were dreaming, because the scene played out exactly how you had imagined it so many times in your head.

It was lunchtime, meaning the cafeteria was obviously packed. You were blissfully unaware of his presence behind you, having stayed up a little too late the night before to try to get some understanding of the material you had been assigned.

It wasn’t until a random bystander bullied their way through the crowd in the opposite direction, causing him to stumble forward into you and he quickly uttered a polite apology, that you realised exactly who it was.

Strong hands had grabbed onto your arms to help steady you. When you turned to face him, you wished you were able to utter your own apology — however, the words never made their way past your tongue, too startled at the sudden close interaction.

“People really don’t look where they’re going, huh?” he said, a shy curve to his lips as he let go of you.

“That’s people for you,” you tried to joke once you found your words again.

Your heart was beating a million miles an hour as you watched his eyebrows narrow. “Hey, don’t we have social science together?”

He recognised you.

You cleared your throat and nodded weakly, trying to serve him a sweet smile but you could feel the waver in it.

“I’m Choso, by the way,” he smiled casually, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Once again you tried to smile, but your lips only managed to pull into a thin line as you introduced yourself.

You expected that to be the end of the conversation, that he would pull out his phone in an effort to smoothly round it off without it being too awkward for either of you — but to your surprise, you saw him contemplate his options before opening his mouth again.

“How’s the assignment going?”

“Well,” you started, hoping he didn’t notice the little crack in your voice. “The words are, at the very least, being put on paper, if that tells you anything.”

He chuckled.

You made him chuckle. It was low and coarse, but a chuckle nonetheless. “Sounds familiar.”

He continued to keep the chatter light as you moved along with the queue, completely oblivious of the effect he had on you.

It wasn’t much, but just based on the little interaction, he seemed even more lovely than you had imagined, which only did more damage to your already smitten heart. Because being effortlessly attentive when listening and engaging in the conversation though he didn’t need to, only brought a piece of reality into your fantasy.

Your palms were turning clammy as your heart was pounding against your chest so loud you were sure he heard it. He was, after all, standing closer than one normally would a stranger due to the thick crowd of hungry students surrounding you.

“Well,” he sighed once you’d both paid and stepped into the hallway. “I need to get going. But it was nice to finally meet you for real.”

Finally.

Nice to finally meet you.

“Yeah, you too,” your lips twitching in a smile, heat travelling to wash over your face. You had always thought him to be so incredibly handsome, but you had underestimated how charming his smile was up close.

“I’ll see you around.” The curve of his lips continued to linger as he backed away before he eventually turned his back towards you and removed his headphones from around his neck to put them on.

Hallway crush!Choso who slowly started to gain the title of acquaintance after the reenactment of one of your made up scenarios.

It started very casual — he would greet you with a quiet “good morning” as he walked past you in the auditorium before taking his usual seat two rows in front of you.

“Morning,” you smiled in return while he held your gaze for a little while.

Waking up the days you knew you had class with Choso became a little easier when you knew what friendly routine was waiting for you.

After three weeks of the innocent interaction, he decided to disrupt the comfortable pattern you had fallen into. This Tuesday morning, he didn’t continue walking down the stairs after wishing you a good morning.

No, he stopped dead in his tracks, pointing at the empty seat beside you. “Is this seat taken?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, and shook your head. “No. No, all yours,” you stuttered as you moved your bag for him to sit down.

He uttered a weak “thanks,” and made himself comfortable, pulling out his leather bound notebook and pen.

Hallway crush!Choso who turned out to be a lot funnier than you had first imagined.

Too caught up in the potential romantic gestures that entertained the depths of your mind, you found yourself so giddy whenever he whispered a silly joke during class for your ears only.

Hallway crush!Choso who accompanied you for the few minutes it took for you to walk to your friends after class finished.

“I’m headed in that direction anyways, so I’ll just tag along.” You’d be a fool to decline his offer, cutely biting your bottom lip and clutching your laptop closer to your chest, feeling like a love struck teenager.

When coming around the corner, you avoided looking in the direction of your friends at all costs. You knew you wouldn’t be able to suppress the embarrassment that would flush your face if you witnessed their shocked expressions as a reaction to walking alongside the guy you had fawned over for months.

It wasn’t until he was out of sight that you spun around — sure enough, they all sported exactly the facial expression you had expected, staring wide eyed with their jaws slacked.

“Okay? Something you forgot to tell us, babe?” One of your friends gushed once you had taken your seat. You shrugged innocently, trying not to let all your excitement spill over at once.

“Hope you at least know the name of your stranger now,” the one sitting opposite you teased.

You nodded slowly, “Choso,” you answered simply, enjoying the interrogating looks they were giving you.

“And? Give us the details!” All three of them had pushed their school work aside — this was ten times more important after all.

So you began to explain of the happy accident that had taken place a few weeks ago, and it had eventually ended with the two of you always sitting next to each other during lectures — none of them failed to match your energy.

“Wait, but I thought he had a girlfriend?”

And as easy as that, your girly and romantic fantasy shattered into a million pieces. Guilt was written all over your friend’s face as one could literally see the realisation dawning on you.

Having lived in the pure bliss of your new friendship, you had completely forgotten about the goddess he was so often seen with.

You started to reflect over the fact that you couldn’t remember seeing her in a while, and felt sick that you might have been too wrapped up in Choso that you just hadn’t noticed her recently.

Thus your excitement was short-lived, not ever wanting to be that girl.

Hallway crush!Choso who noticed how your mood was drastically different than normal the next time he met you.

He had looked forward to seeing that sweet smile tug at your lips when he wished you good morning, but instead he was met with a cold “hi”. You didn’t even turn to look at him.

Had he done something to upset you? The last time he saw you, nothing seemed to be off. You were your chipper self, greeting him with a curve to your lips so wide, your eyes would crinkle.

Class started, and you had yet not said another word to him. He shot you a glance, seeing your fingers hurriedly travel across the keyboard of your laptop, and every once in a while letting your eyes flicker up to look at the professor.

Maybe it was just a bad day. Maybe you had an exam in a different course that was causing you unnecessary stress.

Or maybe, god forbid, you’d come to the conclusion that Choso wasn’t someone you wanted to waste your attention on after all.

Hallway crush!Choso who decided to walk you out of the auditorium, despite your cold front trying to push him away.

It was awkward — incredibly awkward, a feeling that really hadn’t been present in the newly blossomed friendship. Still with no words exchanged, you packed your stuff and pulled out your phone.

Once outside of the auditorium, Choso wanted to try and start a conversation to try and disclose whether he’d done something or not. He only managed to catch your eyes when calling your name before a bolting figure came crashing into his side.

“There you are! You’re an impossible man to catch these days,” the girl exclaimed.

Choso saw the discomfort that subtly traveled down your face, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to another.

“I’ll see you around, Choso,” you said shyly, about to turn around and walk away before the blonde captured your attention.

“Wait, is this the girl you’ve been talking about?” You quickly spun back around, eyebrows pinched together in confusion as the blonde girl had peaked your interest.

Switching your attention to Choso for a second, you noticed how dusty pink had coloured his pale cheeks, his eyes wider than you’d ever seen them.

“It might be,” he said before clearing his throat and rolling his shoulders, hoping you didn’t notice the stress that was residing in his body.

“Finally,” she groaned, her hand shooting forward to initiate a handshake. “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while. I’m Yuki.”

You still weren’t able to completely put the pieces together yet, blinking at her as you accepted her hand and introduced yourself.

“Oh, I know,” she mused, flashing you a cheeky grin. “This one right here,” patting a flat hand against his chest, “doesn’t really stop talking about you.”

A shy smile spread across your lips as you quickly shifted your gaze to him. “You’ve been talking about me?” You spoke softly.

“Well-” he stuttered, the pink quickly deepening into red.

A teasing scoff shot past her teeth. “Isn’t he cute when he gets shy,” she said as Choso’s shoulders grew stiff under her embrace. “You have that effect on him.”

When the opportunity to properly observe the dynamic between the pair in front of you, as well as digest the things Yuki was actually telling you, the pieces finally fell into place — they were just friends.

You had worried and spiralled for no reason, having spent the days since you had last seen him to prepare you to distance yourself from him.

But one look at his embarrassed face and tense body as a result of being teased about you, had all the butterflies come swarming back within seconds.

Choso kept most of his attention on Yuki as she went on to ask him what she’d initially come to talk to him about, but he couldn’t stop himself from letting his eyes dart over to you every once in a while.

“My god, you’re my saviour,” Yuki gushed at her friend, tugging playfully at his arm, before turning back toward you. “He’s truly a catch,” she said with a wink as she slowly started to back away. It had you grow a little restless, knowing you would soon find yourself standing alone with him. “Be good to him. And it was great to finally meet you!”

And she was off.

Slowly Choso turned his entire body towards you, his face having done the impossible and gotten even more red.

“What an interesting interaction,” you breathed.

A nervous chuckle slipped out of him in an attempt to remove the immense pressure that was looming over him. “She’s really something.”

“What was that part about me making you shy?” Tucking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“I mean-“ he cleared his throat. “I guess you’re seeing it in action right now.”

“Hm,” you said simply, causing him to narrow his eyebrows in response — both in confusion and slight worry.

“Hm what?” Swallowing the lump in his throat.

“It’s cute.”

Then he couldn’t stop smiling.

Boyfriend!Choso who managed to live up to every bit of your love dazed fantasy.

At times, you were scared you had let your fantasy go to far — that in your desperate hope for something more, you had created a character that no living person would ever be able to live up to.

Yet here Choso was, in the flesh, embodying every scenario you had made up when you had been tossing and turning on sleepless nights, and then some.

Small or big, he never disappointed.

He held the door open for you, he remembered your coffee order, he showered you with compliments and admiration.

It didn’t take long for him to learn how you yearned for grand gestures — so Choso made it a mission to fulfill those dreams.

Not only did he succeed, but he excelled well beyond your expectations.

He made sure to take you on dates frequently, but also spontaneously so you wouldn’t see them coming. He managed to make every occasion feel planned and intentional.

Boyfriend!Choso who was absolutely baffled once you told him about how you had admired him so intensely before you ever talked to each other.

The confession caught him completely by surprise, because he couldn’t in his wildest dreams have imagined you even noticed him before the little episode in the cafeteria.

Boyfriend!Choso who despite succeeding in making you his girlfriend, got just as shy about you now as he did then.

tags : @sad-darksoul

an : i hope it's a universal experience to create proximity crush that drives you crazy... dividers by @/strangergraphics comments and reblogs is much appreciated

©hiraethwrote 2025 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited

[ohbother2]

do you know what?

I miss long seasons.

I miss seasons that had 20 episodes and half of them could be cut and nothing would be lost to the story.

I miss the episodes where nothing fucking happens but you get to see the main cast goofing around with one another. You get to see their interactions, their relationships develop, their day-to-day lives and how they all fit together in them.

You get the Christmas/halloween/valentine's special -is it needed? certainly not. but is it good? is it entertaining? does it give the show and characters life? do we, the viewers, enjoy it? YES!

give me long stories!! give me little quarrelling spats between characters that can be resolved in one episode with no need to have an impact on the greater story! make these stories real!

let me enjoy them before they end!!!

I absolutely love Hazbin Hotel and the little world that's been created, but I can't help but feel disappointed we're only getting two seasons of 8 episodes.

back in the early 2000's 16 episodes would have been ONE season, never mind the entire thing.

show my angel dust and husk and nifty and sir penthouse living their daily lives in the hotel! show me Charlie brainstorming ways to redeem sinners! give me Charlie forcing the hotel staff to do cringe-y exercises! give me an entire episode of Vox trying to follow alastor through security cameras! Give me husks typical day! Give me a special through the eyes of nifty on a mission to irradiate the hotel of bugs! Give me sir penthouse and the egg boys up to no good!

give me something other than the bare necessities to make the story flow

6 months have nearly gone by in the hotel, and it feels like 1 month.

[magicians-abode]

Saw this post on my page as I was scrolling and immediately got inspired, so I opened my notes and started writing. This is fresh out of my brain, so enjoy! ♡~

Characters Included: Laios Touden; Kabru of Utaya; Asra Alnazar; Yaad Melini; Thistle

Warnings: none - fluff

If you ever were to approach him and decided to ask him "what exactly is so great about me?" Oh he'd start slowly pointing out "obvious" things. They're obvious to him, maybe not to you if you're insecure about yourself, but hell they are one of the first things that stand out to him. He'd look at you with a gentle smile as he points out how your hands fit so nicely in his. How he loves the feeling on your skin against his when he's holding you, caressing you ever so softly.

He loves the way the sun hits your hair, whether it be short, long, tied up or not, the sunrays always manage to tangle in your locks and create a soft angelical halo around your pretty head. He adores the way your chest subtly rises and falls when you breathe in and out, and how if he were to rest his pretty head over the place where your heart is, it'd lull him to sleep, creating a soft rhythm for his ears.

And then he would start going more into depth about things. Don't expect him to just answer with a: "you're pretty/beautiful, smart, funny" because that just simply won't do. It's not enough to describe how it makes his heart feel whole and full of light.

Speaking of full of light; "have you got any idea of how beautifully your eyes shine whenever you smile?"

He says your voice feels like it's carried by the wind itself whenever you speak. It's beautiful. Never too loud, never too soft, just perfect for him to listen to you all day long without getting tired.

"It's as easy as breathing to love you, and more necessary than air itself" he'd declare, placing a hand over his heart, swearing it on his life.

He likes your curves: your stomach, your shoulders, your hips, your legs, and not sexually, no he'd never just mean it that way. He loves the way you carry yourself, the way you walk and how your hips shift with every step, how your arms swing softly by your sides and how your hair seems to softly bounce.

In your face lay the most gorgeous features any painter would've loved to portray in a portrait, that years later, would end up in a museum for everyone to admire and gush about how breathtaking the model was.

Lips as soft as a summer breeze, refreshing and always leaving you wanting for more. Eyes as bright as the sun, eyelashes as its rays of light. Cheeks sometimes the canvas of a gentle blush whenever you're too cold, or feel too shy.

He loves you from the inside out and from head to toe, and that is something that will never change. It didn't happen yesterday, it won't happen today, and it won't happen tomorrow either. You are a beautiful child of nature, made of beauty and love, meant to be happy and even more.

In his eyes, perfection has a definition, and it's you.

A/N: I've been racking my brain all day trying to get inspo to write what has been in my ask box for days now, but instead wrote this. I'm happy but also disappointed in myself ;-; please tell me this happens to someone else too (this is me:)

[xoxo-sarah]

Can I make a request with Stevie. But basically she has extreme trust issues, but is good at hiding it or making jokes about it. But basically they are friends and when they make plans something comes up and he can’t make it, but she over thinks it and just assumes he doesn’t want to hang out with her so she tells him, “its okay if you don’t want to hang out I get it” or she always get surprised when he actually comes over even tho he said he was going to and stuff like that. Just constantly not believing anything he says and it’s nothing about him more about her trying to protect her self from getting hurt.because when you expect nothing you don’t get as disappointed. Anyways it ends happy maybe he gets frustrated with her and boom frustrated love confession (as you can see I love those)

Expect Nothing & Never Get Hurt

↝a/n: this might be a little short and rushed, but I wanted to get something out before I become too swamped with exams and such. I hope you enjoy, and thank you for requesting! I love your requests. 🩷🩷🩷

↝pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

↝warning: trust issues, not proofread

|| Disclaimer: I do not own Steve Harrington, or any character from Stranger Things. I only own y/n and any characters I create with my own brain. ||

↝⎙ 12.7.24

Steve had always been a good friend to you, but you couldn't help the nagging feeling that he would eventually let you down. It only became worse when he asked you out. It ate at you. It wasn't his fault; it was just how you were wired. You had learned to mask your trust issues with humor, making jokes about your skepticism, but deep down, it was always there. Steve saw it.

"Hey, Steve, we still on for tonight?" You asked, trying to sound casual in the phone. You twirled the cord between your fingers, waiting for an answer.

"Of course. I'll pick you up at eight," he replied, you could hear his charming smile in his voice. It made a smile come to your own face. "See you later, gorgeous."

Eight o'clock came, and Steve was nowhere to be found, you felt the familiar sting of disappointment.

You tried to shake it off, telling yourself that something important must have come up. Before your thoughts could wonder even more, the house phone rang. You quickly made your way to it, your heart sinking. "Hey," Steve's said on the other end. You could hear the guilt in his voice.

Steve trailed off, seemingly getting distracted with whatever was on the other side of the phone. He brought the phone back to his ear, eyes still trained on the group of kids in Family Video, who had came in right before close, with the amount of energy Steve could only wish to have at his age.

"Sorry, something came up. Can we reschedule?"

"It's okay if you don't want to hang out. I get it," you replied after a moment of silence. Silence wasn't the best for a wondering mind. But you tried to sound nonchalant.

Steve was quick to respond, "No, it's not like that. I really want to hang out. Just had something unexpected." He glanced up, watching Robin scold the group of kids for knocking over a pile of movie tapes. The kids thought the whole thing was funny. It wasn't, not really. Steve and Robin only wanted to close up and go home. They had the next day off. Robin planned on sleeping the whole day and Steve planned on spending his free time with you. But the night couldn't end fast enough. The plans Steve had originally had would fall through with how late it was getting.

You sighed, mind racing with doubts. You cleared your throat, shoulders sagging, "Yeah, no. I get it. I'll see you...later, I guess. Bye."

Steve didn't have the time to respond before you hang up. He put the phone down, grumbling as he walked over to the group of hooligans. Robin threw her hands up, giving up with dealing with the kids that had parents that obviously did not discipline their children.

The next day rolled around and you were surprised when you opened the door to find Steve had been the one to wake you up by knocking. He held a bouquet of flowers, a shy smile on his face.

"You actually came," you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

He glanced between the flowers and you, feeling shame for having to cancel, "I feel bad for last night. I know these won't erase last night, but I just thought it could be the start of fixing it. I really wanted to go on that date."

Before you could fix your face, an expression of disbelief flashed across it. Steve caught it. He always did. Every time he would say something sweet or compliment you, you always pulled that face. You never believed him. He wanted you to.

Steve frowned, clearly frustrated. "Why do you always do that? Why do you always assume I don't mean what I say? If I didn't, I wouldn't say it."

You looked down, feeling exposed. "It's not about you. It's just... easier to expect nothing. That way, I don't get disappointed."

Steve took a deep breath, his frustration evident. You had told him about all of the time before, about why you don't trust easily. "I get that you've been hurt before, but I'm not going anywhere. I care about you, and it hurts me that you don't believe that."

You looked up at him, lips slightly quivering with emotion, "I'm sorry, Steve. It's just hard for me to trust."

He stepped closer, his expression softening. "I know, but I need you to trust me. I need you to believe that I want to be here with you."

You nod, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. "Okay, I'll try."

Steve smiled, pulling you into a hug. "That's all I ask."

It would take some time, but Steve was willing to wait for as long as you would need.

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [I don't give permission!]

[nadjasnandor]

what I don't understand is like .... they wrote the guillermo and nandor dynamic the way they did AND made both of them queer. like. nobody asked them to do ANY of that. so turning around and mocking everyone who very reasonably looked at what the writers of this show wrote and said "they are written like a couple" is just a baffling thing to do. imho

Exactly. And if you don't mind, I'm going to use your ask as an excuse to write out why I'm upset about certain things, because what you said is the root of my problem.

My disappoint doesn't come from Nandor/Guillermo not going canon in the traditional sense (at least not fully), but from the very 2010s-esque way everyone seems to be talking about fans post-finale. Basically saying they never intended Nandor & Guillermo to be anything but platonic and blaming the weird fans for wanting their pornographic whishes (🙄) to actually happen in the show, like they were not in any way responsible for creating those wishes, is insulting but, more importantly, not true. And they can't convince me otherwise because I was there, watching the whole thing unfold in real time.

I already mentioned being remotely normal about Nandor/Guillermo pre season 3 and there is a reason for that. During the first season the fandom was small. And by that I mean both Nandor/Guillermo shippers and also the people watching wwdits in general. During season 1, sometimes all you saw when going into the tags was about 5 of my gifsets in a row, for instance. Even if people watched the show, they didn't really interact with it in a fandom-y way. During the middle of s1, I complained about there not being Nandor/Guillermo fics at all and even between s1 and s2 I posted about there not being a lot. It was also this era when the first mentions of possible canon romantic feelings were brought up and it was by Harvey himself, who said he thinks Guillermo has feelings for his boss. This was, of course, only Harvey explaining how he views his character but I feel it's important because, as it's been mentioned before, Harvey came up with a lot of Guillermo's character, starting with his surname. He basically created current Guillermo. In the original pilot script, Guillermo is a 40-something, very bitter man. Quite different from our Guillermo and it's all thanks to Harvey.

But during this period, that is during s1 and s2, anything romantic between Nandor and Guillermo was purely accidental and mostly due to Kayvan and Harvey's chemistry. We all knew this, even if by s2 we did get the first articles about Nandor & Guillermo's relationship being maybe not fully platonic. By the end of season 2, the fandom has grown for sure but it was still nowhere near its current size. We also had Nandor say he treated Guillermo like a son, which was quite annoying but we at least knew where we stood with the show. Didn't stop us from shipping those two, of course, because fandoms have survived on less (Looking back, it is funny how much I hated that line when now it's just *vaguely gestures around*). It's important to note that after season 2, Jemaine left and Paul took over. And then came season 3.

There is a reason why I was so insane about the Cloak of Duplication and then Gail. The former canonized Guillermo's feelings for Nandor on screen for the first time and the latter showed that it was not just a single episode, throw away scene. Instead they continued with Guillermo being jealous of Nandor and his sexual partner. That was huge. But the fandom still hasn't blown up fully, that happened later during season 3. And I think it's important to say that because they wrote and filmed season 3 before the show blew up. They cannot say they wrote those scenes to please (or bait) fans. They weren't 'pressured' to do anything with Nandor and Guillermo. Season 3 was also when the very heavy Nandor/Guillermo promoting started. (Like the parody of The Bodyguard poster with 'Never fall in lo-', for example). Now, I don't remember if the first articles calling them the will-they-won't-they couple of the show came out during this season or later, but it was definitely past season 3. So by the end of season 3 the fandom has grown large and people were obviously very into the ship.

Now we can say shippers are pushy or annoying but fans can be annoying in general. People can be annoying lol. When your show grows big enough, annoying people you don't like are going to watch it too. (I'm sure if those annoying people are cishet men then this burden is easier to bear but I digress. I am a little bitter, after all). But at this point, fans had no reason to be pushy, we thought every sign was pointing to canon romantic Nandor/Guillermo.

At this point, the show saw how large the fandom has grown and how invested people were in Nandor/Guillermo. If that's not what they wanted, if they felt people were seeing things differently than how they intented, they could have pulled back. They had enough time between season 3 and season 4 to do that. But they didn't. Instead, they doubled down and continued to do the same for 2 more season. Even if by season 5 the latest we already had Paul saying weird things about the dynamic.

Instead it seems they decided to pull back in season 6 but by then it was too late. People were expecting them to come through on the thing they have been teasing for 3 seasons. And then they blamed the fans for not liking what they offered up instead. For wanting 'pornographic scenes'. Because it's 'not that kind of a show'. They say this about a show with an episode called The Orgy.

And even while saying all that, they didn't stop them from teasing the fans until the very last moment. Nandor's 'you know what would be cooler than being friends' is just cruel lmao. And that's why it felt more like mocking to me. Not only because of what happened in the show, but because when I watch those scenes, I can't seperate them from how the cast and crew talk about the ship and the fans in interviews. They apparently now think it's stupid and weird but will gladly tease it in the show for whatever reason? It's funny because fans are weird and kinky, I guess. Things unheard of in relation to this show.

I also don't understand Kayvan and Harvey's complete 180 turn. During the early seasons, Kayvan was not really into the idea of the ship, saying it's a bit toxic due to the power imbalance in their dynamic but he seemed to go full throttle later, even overtaking Harvey in hyping the ship up. And then in the first post-finale interview, he says that 'Nandor is never going to have sex with Guillermo', even if the show left that door open with the last scene. And then there's Harvey, who was the first to say Guillermo has feelings for his boss, who is now championing the repserentation of platonic gay male friendships on tv. In his case, I can give him the benefit of doubt, because he must have his own experiences with that and it's not my place to dismiss or doubt them. I do find the change strange and have complained about it but it's more understandable than Kayvan's. (EDIT: I didn't read this interview after the finale but it just makes things even more confusing, if I'm honest.)

I tried to be as coherent as possible and write out all my thoughts about this topic but I most likely still missed some things. I don't really like to talk about my feelings and thoughts this elaborately because I find it difficult to fully express myself but I tried my best because I felt like I was going insane.

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 65 analysis // spoilers

the girl who's chasing the sun and the boy who's finding a way to walk by her side: how much kindness is needed for one to forgive themselves and finally listen to their heart?

for this month's review, i wanted to do something a little different: i'm going to divide it into two parts. the first part will be about the chapter, of course, and address some points that i think are worth discussing. the second part, i'd like to focus much more on the message of kindness that skip to loafer brings to its readers. so, here we go.

finally, the long-awaited date is here. i confess that i always felt a little uncomfortable when people demanded so much for this date to happen faster, to sensei “get over with it”. i know, i was also looking forward to it, but the whole build-up that led us to this moment made it even more impactful and even stronger. to build a story, you need not only a beginning and an end, but a middle that supports both events. the story of shima and mitsumi had its beginning and now we're facing the middle. no, the breakup didn't bring the end, it was just a complement. an event as big as this one needs to be sustained with enough strength to have the necessary impact. so yes, the “delay” that many complained was extremely well used and made their night together even more special.

now, about the actual date. it’s beautiful to see how they managed to find a space in all this confusion to make their friendship prevail and the discomfort that they both felt before dissipate. of course, their relationship didn’t go back to what it was before, but i don’t think that would ever be possible: relationships change, no matter if good or bad things happen. the way we relate to people grows at the same speed as we grow. and, to keep it alive, it takes a lot of humility, kindness and, of course, love.

since the chapter is slightly more focused on shima, his insecurity and fear are much clearer and more palpable. shima is a character who still carries a lot of regret for everything he did, even for things that weren’t his fault, like his past and the mistakes he made along the way, guided by people with ill intentions. the breakup with mitsumi left a huge scar on him, since he still firmly believes that he is the one most to blame for their friendship almost falling apart. mitsumi is one of the few people who genuinely wants to be with shima and he knows it — but that doesn't change the fact that he is still very afraid that she will never really get to know his "real self" and to like him for who he is, specially because shima himself doesn’t really know what all of this mean. shima feels disappointed that mitsumi has "fallen" for his false kindness because he feels that he is not only deceiving other people, but also one of the most important people in his life. lying to mitsumi not only brings a pain to his heart, but also an enormous insecurity that he will never be able to convey his feelings for her, because he will never be able to overcome this wall that he himself created. when he himself admits that his feelings for her are much deeper, he finally get in touch with the desire to be completely exposed to her, to be accepted by her and that he could finally stop using the facade he hates so much against her.

what he doesn't know yet is that mitsumi can see beyond his mask — and much more than he even imagines: mitsumi sees the real kindness within shima. as much as he insists on saying that this is just a way of protecting himself, mitsumi can indeed find in shima's actions a kindness and affection that are far from being fabricated. it saved her so many times before so, if what she felt was real and valid, why wouldn't his intentions be truthful as well? mitsumi sees shima for who he is, and respects all the past that he is still afraid to show, that’s why she never pressured him to open up and respected every time he changed the subject. there was no need for her to dive deep into something that didn’t involved her, so all she could do was show that she would be there for him when he needed and when he find the right time to tell her all about the little shima she never met. mitsumi sees the kindness he holds in his heart and all the good intentions he had when he helped her before, something he lies to himself and say it was “only a facade”. he still can’t see how much he wanted to protect her and be by her side all guided by his own heart and good faith, not the lie he made up. the real shima was the one who wanted to do all that, not the “fake” he created. when mitsumi chooses to end their relationship, she’s truly thinking about his feelings and a way to save their friendship before both of them came out completely hurt by it (but i want to point out something very, very important: they are both teenagers. of course they will act impulsively and end up hurting each other without realizing it. shima doesn't know which of his actions hurt mitsumi, just as she doesn't know which of her words might end up hurting him. they are at the beginning of a long life and a long journey, so why not give them the kindness they so deserve?). 

shima finally manages to take a step forward, getting closer and closer to walking side by side with mitsumi. as he becomes more in touch with his own feelings, shima sees a huge need to change and start being more sincere. in order for him to become a better person, in his own eyes, he now needs to start putting the mask aside and embrace who he truly is. no longer listening to others or fulfilling desires that are not his: now is the time for him to look inside himself and, above all, listen to his own heart. from now on, the path he will follow is his and his alone.

now, for the second part: i really want to talk a little about how skip to loafer has an extremely delicate writing style that focuses so much on kindness, whether it is the kind we export to the world or the kind we internalize.

those who usually follow my analysis must be tired of hearing how much i talk about the message of “i love you for who you are” that skip to loafer values ​​and explores so much. but it’s no use: the more i talk about it, the more i admire the dedication that the sensei puts into writing completely real and human characters. it is always a great joy when people come to me and say how much they saw themselves in one character or two, and how that made them feel embraced. it warms my heart that people can see, thought these characters, the kindness they deserve. It’s very clear to me how sensei is always so worried with showing the reality of their journey of loving themselves in a way to bring the reader closer and learn from it. 

of course, shima and mitsumi's friendship and relationship could end with the breakup. or, from another angle, it is clear that they could have started a relationship much earlier and maintained it despite all the challenges they still have to face with themselves. but... is that valid? is that fair to them? is that kind to both the characters and the readers?

by opting for a gentler writing style and a story more focused their lives rather than taking a romantic road trip (after all, it is a slice of life), skip to loafer delves into a great lesson about compassion and acceptance that no one is perfect. we will all make mistakes during the course of our lives, but it is up to us to get up and move on, building other stories and sharing beauty with whoever is by our side. we may not see how kind we are to others, but there is certainly someone by our side who admires us and is grateful for everything we have done for them.

and i'm grateful for you for reading my analysis 💛 thank you. don't forget to support sensei and send her lots of kindness!!!! skip to loafer will be on break next month, so see you in december :)

[miwiheroes]

Bylers, we need to talk about something…

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts pertaining to what will happen in season 5 relating to byler recently, as have we all, but I’ve also been wondering about the audience’s reaction to it if it happens.

Actually, i’ve been more concerned not about the GA’s reaction, but our reaction to how they handle it. I just want to say beforehand, that I might be projecting my issues with negativity and conflict (i’m a very very optimistic person it’s rough being on social media these days lmao) and I also very much believe that they will make byler canon in some way or another. It just makes sense with the narrative. But I fear we will never be happy with how they do it and we never learn from our previous mistakes lmao

Before season 4 came out, I sort of was a fan of byler, but i was very very casual, as in I didn’t interact with many fan theories, I wasn’t on twitter (still not on there because I have a phobia of negativity eek) and I wasn’t on tumblr, I would occasionally check out the edits and fanarts and I think I was just Aware of it, because I always root for the gay ship to happen ofc..

So when season 4 vol. 1 came out I was excited about the direction they were taking byler, and I could see that it was finally canon that Will was gay, rather than theorised. When season 4 vol. 2 came out, I had not been on sttwt or st tumblr during the time between the volumes because I had other fandoms prioritised around the time. I watched the Van Scene with my parents and suddenly I was acutely aware of just how gay they were (because I always get scared of watching anything queercoded around my parents lmao).

By the end of season 4, I was like YES! this season was amazing for a byler set up next season, although i was more focused on other characters too. I then kind of saw the byler script stuff but not the full extent of it, and I saw many edits and fanarts of them but that was it!

Now it’s 2024 and I have a major hyperfixation on byler, (due to the season 5 bts and the fact stranger things keeps popping up on my fyp it’s crazy) and now I’m on byler tumblr (not twt tho .. sorry) to find all the evidence I can and get all hyped up for s5! But I’ve also seen old posts from around 2022…

Literally every single one was extremely disappointed from season 4 vol. 2, and I was confused, seeing as I was very happy with it and I liked byler (my fave byler scene is from vol. 2 and no it’s not the van scene). If I’m being totally honest, and I might get some hate for this, I think we all had wildly, wildly high expectations and the disappointment was our own doing.

I personally never really judge a show before it’s finished (obviously not sitcoms and shows like that) unless it has really really terrible writing ofc, but I always choose to reserve judgement until all the character arcs are wrapped up and I can look back and see why things were made to be.

I understand the whole anger with Mike’s behaviour towards Will and how Will was treated poorly by him, but isn’t that the point? Mike loving Will back in season 5 would then be more satisfying after all that. It’s a set-up for the next season, no?

I don’t know why or how people thought that Mike would suddenly resolve all his internalised homophobia or something during that season, and I reckon if the whole season had come out at once instead of two volumes (i hate the two volumes thing sm omg) people would have been much happier because we wouldn’t have had time to create insane theories or unrealistic expectations that, let’s be real, were not in line with what we have seen so far with byler.

So, I just want to say that I’m a little afraid for season 5, because I know that byler will likely be canon, but people just won’t be happy because it won’t be in the exact way that they had theorised. Sorry to break it to you, but you, random person on tumblr, are not a screen writer. More specifically, you’re not a screen writer for stranger things.

I think it’s fun to theorise at the moment, but I just want to remind people that this pattern has happened before and we never learn? Like, none of our theories are coming true. Not one of them. Did I theorise the exact van scene? Did I theorise the part at the end where Mike grabs Will’s shoulder? No. But am I happy with those scenes? Hell yeah.

So on the build up to season 5, I just want to caution everyone to not assume that specific things are going to happen when it’s just a result of an echochamber (such as the milkvan breakup scene being right at the beginning or the painting being brought up). You’ll just be angry for no good reason.

The only reasons I’m personally going to be angry with how they handle byler is:

1. If it’s not canon and Will’s love goes unrequited/ he has another love interest somehow…

2. If either of them die after having a relationship during season 5 (bury your gays is stUPID)

3. If one of them dies before the other gets to tell them they love them/ kiss

4. If they get together without Mike apologising (it could be in literally any way, obvious or not) for his poor behaviour.

But that’s it, the rest of it is literally up to them.

Hope ur not too mad, but it just needed to be said.

[silver-horse]

if we are talking about the lost dream lover/daisy scenes from act 1 then we should talk about why those scenes were so good and why the loss of that storyline is so disappointing. because it's not just "oh those scenes looked better or whatever" it was a completely different character and storyline.

even though the companions pushed back way more and the whole narrative was telling you to resist the dream lover, it was somehow far more tempting. you were constantly tempted in dialogues to use your powers and if you did, you slowly started to lose yourself, the narrator said you could feel something slipping away, something you will never get back. You were giving yourself over to the fantasy, a mindflayer illusion

the game asked you during character creation "who do you dream of at night?" obviously meaning "what are you attracted to?" rather than just "you need a guardian. choose one." there is already a different implication there. I wonder how people interpret "guardian" if they don't know about the original dream lover. they might not even create someone they find tempting. a guardian sounds more like a mentor figure, rather than your ideal fantasy partner.

During early access the dream lover not only offered us power, they also showed us a tempting future where we are powerful and important and beloved and we are ruling the world. such universal temptations and desires. and we were resting on a peaceful field with the person of our dreams. it was peace in the dream world vs the real life struggle.

In the end it seemed obvious where this was leading... if you use the tadpole too much, you would have turned into a mindflayer. and whatever is left of your individuality and consciousness would have stayed in that fantasy world with your perfect fantasy partner. the mindflayer illusion forever trapped you. the song "Down by the River" was written about this fantasy dream lover. and what a banger and creative storyline this could have been. what a tragic ending! to just give up, lose yourself in the fantasy, the easy way out. choose this beautiful fantasy over the imperfect real world. and choose your perfect imaginary partner over the flawed real people, your companions. truly I mourn what an incredible storyline this could have been. It would have resonated with basically everyone.

and you would have been constantly tempted. to avoid this fate you would need to struggle constantly while the easy fantasy is dangling in front of your face with a zero difficulty ability check.

turning into a mindflayer wouldn't have been something you have the option to choose. and you can get cured no matter how much you indulged in the tadpole powers. lmao I kinda hate that there is no consequence for any of that now

[justmeinadaze]

Created A Monster Part 2 (Steddie X Kas Y/N)

A/N: Totally new for me here. Reader kind of takes more control in this one but I'm not calling it Sub/Dom dynamics. As someone going through some shit right now, this is kinda something I needed with the angst and their strong need to please her <3.

Enjoy!

Part 1

I can also leave it here or add another part. Up to you!

Warning: Steddie & Kas (vampire) Reader, SMUT, I read that bats give off pheromones so that was KINDA utilized here but all three here are consenting, dirty talk, boys desperate for her praise, etc. FLUFF, reader has memories of the guys that she forgot thanks to Vecna, it shows the love they had/have for each other. Memories are in black bold.

ANGST (because I'm me), she does insult them a lot through the beginning and they do what they can to make her remember them. The feels are abound. There is a cameo from the envision they have of her from part 1. She's always represented with italicized font. She mentions being hit by Vecna which makes the guys mad (rightfully!). There is a moment in the upside down near the end where Vecna expresses disappointment in her. That world is in red font. Cliffhanger ending.

Word Count: 6099

"Got you on your knees, beggin', "Mommy, please?" Girl I used to be, now she isn't me, say, "R.I.P."

Call a doctor I think I created a monster She's got a psycho inside her But I think that I kinda like her."

After removing your armor, they hastily tied you to a pillar and waited for you to wake. 

“I watched her die in my arms, Steve. I held her till she took her last breath and even then people had to drag us away from her. How is she here?”

“I don’t know. She looks different…harder. She was always a badass but…’My master sends his regards.’ What can that mean?”

“In D&D there’s a character called Kas. He’s a solider with a sword who Vecna grants eternal life and in turn he becomes his right-hand man killing Vecna’s enemies.”

 “But then why would she come after us?”

“I mean we did help take him out—”

“No, asshole. I mean why is she, Y/N, coming after us, the men she loves?”

Growling catches their attention as your eyes flutter open and you take in your surroundings. 

“Sweetheart.”, Eddie coos as he holds up his hands in surrender to show he’s not a threat. “How are you feeling? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine but you aren’t. As soon as I get out of here, I’m going to rip you apart.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice.”

Steve rolls his eyes as he steps closer to you.

“Do you know who we are?”

“Steven Harrington, the former pathetic king of Hawkins who helped hurt my master by setting him on fire and Edward Munson who helped by distracting his babies so they couldn’t protect him. Still on the run, freak?”

Their eyes darkened as they listened to you speak. This wasn’t the girl they fell in love. You would have never said things like this to them before. 

“And who are you then?”

Your body straightens as you raise your chin in defiance. 

“I am my master’s right-hand and his strongest knight. I protect him and kill any of his enemies that he asks of me.”

“Ah, I see. So you’re his bitch?”

Baring your fangs, you hiss Eddie’s way causing both men to jump back before regaining their composure.

“My master takes care of me. He saved me when I was left bleeding to death on the concrete after you and friends tried to kill me!”

“Is that what he told you? No. No, honey, that’s not what happened. You were on our side of that fight.”

“My master said you would lie.”, you growl.

“HE killed you, Y/N. Him and his ‘babies’.”, the metalhead responded in an equally angry tone. “You were supposed to come back with us but you sacrificed yourself by distracting those things. THEY pinned you down and THEY bit into you. You died in my arms, sweetheart. How can you not remember this? I was fucking screaming at you—”

“Y/n! No, no, no, no, no. Stay with me, baby. Don’t you fucking close those beautiful eyes. Henderson! Go get Steve. Fucking hurry!”

“Be nice, a-asshole.”, you try to chuckle. “Eddie…I’m scared.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, ok? I’m right here and Steve is on his way. We’re gonna get you to a hospital. I just need you to keep talking with me.”

“I lo-ove you both…so much.”

“Hey, don’t you do that. Don’t fucking tell me goodbye!”

“It’s not goodbye… it’s—”

“…See you later.”

When you cut off Eddie’s story, his eyes locked with yours and for just a moment he saw the old you reflecting back within them. Their tiny victory was short lived however when your features hardened once more and you spit in their direction. 

“Let me go now and I promise to kill you quickly.”

“What should we do?”, Steve asked his friend, ignoring your threat. “We can’t tell the others about her because then they may want to kill her.”

“Maybe we can take turns watching her and talking to her? Get her to remember who she is.”

“And what if that’s a lost cause?”

Both men glanced your way as you tried to pull out of your binds.

“Then…we kill her.”

####################

While Steve laid in bed, he stared at the ceiling above completely unable to sleep as the events of the night you died run through his mind. 

He, Nancy, and Robin ran to where Eddie was clutching your limp body to his chest as he sobbed. 

“No! NO! What happened?!”, Steve screamed as he slid to his friend’s side. 

“She didn’t come through with us when we went back through the gate. She stayed behind to distract the bats and fight.”

“O-Ok. Ok, um, need to get her…get her to a…a hospital.”

“Steve—”

“NO!”, he shouted cutting Robin off as he reached over to pry you from the metalhead’s grasp. Dustin placed his hand on his shoulder when it took him a moment to let you go. “Honey?” His voice cracked when he felt how cold your skin was as he cupped your cheek in his palm. “Y/N, come back, baby. We won. We beat him. Vecna’s gone. We-We can go home.”

When your body remained lifeless in his arms, he desperately shook you.

“WAKE UP, Y/N! PLEASE!”

The realm around them began to quake almost knocking them off their feet. 

“We need to go NOW!”, Nancy instructed. 

“Ok, we-we need to lift her and—”

“We can’t Steve. We’ll barely be able to get Dustin back through and—”

“I’M NOT LEAVING HER HERE!”

“Neither am I.”, Eddie growled angrily at the thought. 

“I don’t blame you for having to leave me behind.”, the vision of you coos softly from beside him. “Maybe if you hadn’t I wouldn’t be in the living room right now.”

“That’s not you.”, Steve whispered. “Whoever that is, is what Vecna made her to be.”

“Hm. That’s one way to look at it. What if a version of me was hidden there the whole time and you didn’t know.”

“Please. The girl we knew would never let anyone tell her what to do.”

“Oh wow. Is little Stevie disappointed?” When he rolled away from you, your light laugh echoed in his ears. “You always did like those nights when I took control, didn’t you?”

***

“He’s talking to himself in there.”, you say sarcastically to the metalhead sitting on the counter in front of you strumming his guitar. 

“Yeah…he does that. He’s actually talk to you; a version of you.”

“Hm. We’ll that’s pathetic.” When he doesn’t respond or react to your words, your try to pull at your binds to no avail. “Do you also talk to a figment of your imagination?”

“Sometimes but I go to your grave to do that so I seem less insane.”, Eddie sighs as he readjusts his instrument. 

When his fingers start making a melody, you freeze as you listen to the notes. 

“I know that.”

A small smirk paints his lips as he plays a bit louder but softly murmurs some lyrics. 

“In touch with the ground I'm on the hunt, I'm after you Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd And I'm hungry like the wolf.”

“You always loved that song. I would tease you because you would stop anything you were doing to watch the music video if it came on.”, he chuckles at the memory. 

“It was the fedora hats. Gave off this Indiana Jones vibe I always found attractive.”, the image of you beside Eddie laughed along with him. 

“We surprised you once by buying the outfits they wear and dressing like the band for Halloween. You felt bad because you thought we should all match so we ran to the corner store and bought you this headband with ears and a tail you could clip to your jeans. As soon as we stepped outside you howled real loud like a wolf.”

Eddie’s head hung at the memory, desperately missing those times when you made him unbelievably happy. 

“Baby, it’s ok to have hope that you can bring me back. You know it will kill you if you both don’t try.”, you try to soothe as you step closer to him. “It also ok if I don’t but you accept this new…powerful…stronger…sexier version of me.”

The metalhead snorts out another laugh as he glances towards the chained-up version of you to find your black eyes watching him curiously. 

“Oh come on. I know the armor and attitude got you all riled up.”

“Am I turning you on, freak, or the imaginary friend you both talk to?” A wide toothy smile stretched across your face as you inhaled through your nose. “The other asshole is turned on to if it makes you feel better.”

Eddie listened to you manically laugh as he jumped down from the counter so his friend could take over watching you. He couldn’t handle your snarky attitude anymore. 

#################

“Hey, man. You alright?”, Steve asked as his best friend sleepily came down the hallway rubbing his eyes. 

“Yeah. I think I slept for like a total of 20 minutes.” Eddie’s gaze shifts to your sleeping frame that was now sitting on the floor with your head resting on your shoulder. “When did she knock out?”

“Um, around 6am. I was going to ask you; it seems like she’s a vampire like you said. She has the fangs and hates the sun.”

“Hm and the silver chains seem to be keeping her in place. She’s probably going to be hungry soon. I wonder how she eats. I mean it’s not like Vecna is the kind of asshole to give her blood.”

“Ed…she’s killed a lot of people, remember?”

“Steve?”

The sound of you calling out the man’s name grabbed their attention as the metalhead slowly stepped closer to you. Your eyes were still closed but your breathing had gotten shallow as your head lolled to the other side. 

“Y/N?”

“Steve…Eddie’s…missing…”

The former jock’s eyes widened at your words as the memory flashed through his mind. 

“STEVE! Did you see—”

“Yeah, baby, I did.”, he pants out as he runs around the Family Video counter to take you in his arms. 

“Eddie’s missing! We have to find him! He’s probably terrified and panicking.”

“He’s probably at another friend’s house.”, Robin suggested. “Do you know who else he could be with?”

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m not missing anymore. You found me…you always did.”, he cooed. 

His ringed hand shook as he slowly reached for your cheek, breathing a heavy sigh of pleasure when his thumb caressed your cool skin. 

A low rumble left your chest and he promptly retracted when your eyes snapped open. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“You were having a memory.”

“One of your lies imprinted in my brain!”

Steve angerly kicked one of the lower cabinets before leaning against the counter. A thought crossed his mind and you both watched him as he ran to the tv, searching through the plethora of VHS’s before finding what he wanted. 

Standing back, he pushed a button on the remote and the sound of your laugh echoed through the apartment.

“Steve! I’m going to laugh if we play this back and you’ve been filming the wall the whole time!”

“Honey, the lens is pointing at us. How would it capture the wall?!”

“Here, maybe, if we squeeze closer together…”

“Eddie! You’re crushing my ribs!”, you whine as the metalhead pushes you three closer together. 

Their eyes scan you over as you watch the video in front of you and your whole demeanor softened. 

“You guys are so dumb.”, you giggle and sigh. 

“Yeah but you still love us.”

“Damn right.”, you coo as you tilt up to kiss Steve’s lips. “So why did you spend money on this bulky thing?”

“Because…a few years from now when we’re married and have our six to ten kids…” The boy smiled when you rolled your eyes and your palm reached up to pet Eddie’s curls as he laughed into your shoulder. “… we can look back on this and remember. Remember a time when we were done fighting monsters and villains. A time before I became some awesome businessman working with Robin and making a ton of money.”

“A time before I became a fucking rockstar and women were screaming my name.”

“Oh my god, Ed.”, you laugh before he grips your chin and turns you towards him. 

“I’m sure even then all I hear is you.”, Eddie smiles as he kisses your lips. “What about you, sweetheart? What will you be doing?”

You softly grin as you pull them closer. 

“I don’t know yet but as long as I’m with you two I know I’ll be happy.”

“…I know I’ll be happy.”

When your words echoed alongside the ones in the video, another pang of hope pierced their hearts. 

“Did we fake that? Or imprint the idea in your head?”, Steve asked trying to hide the pleading in his tone. “You loved us and we loved you.”

“So much.”, Eddie added. “Still do, baby.”

A tear fell down your cheek as your eyes stared into a void, fleeting subtly from left to right as if you were sifting through your brain trying to decipher what was real. 

“Leave me alone.”, you commanded in a soft tone as you hung your head. 

Nodding, they did what you ask, surprising even you when they didn’t try to argue back.

***

“Ed! Wake up, man. Something’s wrong.”

Eddie’s head shot up from the chair he had fallen asleep on as his friend began to shake him. 

“Wha--? What’s happening?”

“I don’t know. She’s really clammy and growling.”

Without hesitation, he headed your way and carefully took you in. Your eyes were now fully black as your head leaned back against the wall and you panted heavily. Your shirt was damp against your chest as sweat fell from your temple and your stomach rumbled. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

When you didn’t answer, he stepped forward before abruptly pausing when you hissed his way. 

“Hungry.”

“O-Ok. Um, what do you eat? Do need blood?” As he began taking off his bracelets and rings, Steve grabbed his shoulder to stop him. “She needs to eat or she’ll die, Steve.”

“What if she kills you?”

“Then she kills me. I lost her once; I’m not losing her again.”

You blinked as you listened to them speak in such absolutes about you. Your master told you that they were vile, selfish men who left you for dead to save themselves. But then why were they offering to feed you? Why were they trying so hard to keep you around?

“Here, sweetheart, take what you need.” When he noticed you looking at the scars on his wrist, Eddie lightly chuckled. “My, uh, beauty wound.”

“I…have them…to.”

“Yeah.”, he sighed. “I tried to save you but those little fuckers were everywhere. They got me pinned before I could get to you but, um, thankfully Steve saved the day.”

“Y/N! Y/N, I’m coming, princess. Fuck! Let me—ugh!—let me go!”

You shook out his voice screaming inside your head as pain shot through your body and you growled. 

“Shit. Ok, come on, Y/N. Go ahead and eat.”, the metalhead instructed as he placed his wrist by your lips. His scent wafted into your nose as another memory filled your brain. 

“The fuck are you doing you, weirdo?”, Eddie teases when he feels you inhale and nuzzle into his neck while you were straddling his lap as he tried to read. 

“I like the way you smell.”

He cackles through his teeth making you smile as you hug him tighter. 

“I smell disgusting. I haven’t showered in like three days and you know I smoke like a chimney.”

Tilting back, you tenderly kiss his lips. 

“Its YOU. I love the way YOU smell.”

While you were lost in your head, Eddie couldn’t help but caress your cheek and to his pleasure you turned into his palm. 

Suddenly, your teeth sunk into his flesh making him wince as the other boy stepped forward before he held up his free hand to stop him. As you drained his blood his chocolate eyes flutter closed as he groaned, falling towards you as his palm shot out to catch himself against the wall. 

“Talk to me, Munson.”

When his friend didn’t respond, Steve swiftly jumped into action, yanking him from you so hard he fell to the floor. You loudly growled at the action, your wings expanding as you push forward and broke the chain around you. Tackling him to the ground, he did his best to fight against you but you were stronger as your fangs sunk into his neck. 

The former jock’s fight slowly left him as his panicked whimpers were replaced with hefty groans of need as his fingers reached up to lace in your hair. 

“Ok, now look.”

As you slowly open your eyes and see your reflection in the mirror, you let out a loud “HA!” as you cover your mouth to stifle the rest from escaping.  

“What?! You don’t like it?”, Steve teases with a big grin as his large hand lightly pats your floofy hair being held up currently by a ton of hairspray. “You said you wanted to look like Madonna in that one video and for some reason trusted me to accomplish that.”

“I just thought that Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington would have some knowledge into hair.”

“Well, honey that was your mistake, not mine.” The boy’s laugh echoes through his always empty home as you gently hit his arm and he falls onto his back bringing you with him. “I still think you look beautiful.”

Your smile grows as you kiss his lips and he wraps his arms around you. 

“Eddie’s gonna have a field day though.”

“What?”, Steve asked breathlessly as he cupped your cheeks. “Keep going, baby. T-Take it. Take it all if you need to.”

At his words, a bunch of memories flash through your mind at once, overloading your brain as you tumble backwards on to the floor. 

“Whoa! What’s going on, sweetheart?”, Eddie asked as he hastily slid to your side. 

“I guess, um, we’re lab partners today?”, Steve forces a smile as he extends his hand to you. “I’m Steve Harrington.”

Eddie cautiously hands you a cigarette as he eyes you up and down as you both lean against the brick wall. “I’m Eddie…Eddie Munson. What’s your name?”

“Christ, I suck at this. The last person I said this to didn’t feel the same but…I don’t know…It’s just different…with you. What I’m trying to say, Y/N, is…I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart, so much. I never thought I’d ever feel this way about anyone.”

“STEVE! Oh my God! Are you alright? When you got pulled under again I got so scared. Oh, fuck you’re bleeding. Nancy, do you have anything we can wrap around him?”

“I’m buying you more time. Don’t worry, Eddie, you can spank me after we finish this.”

“Y/N! No! Baby, please! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N.” 

Both men covered their ear as you tilted your head back and screamed. Before either of them could do anything about it, your wings expanded and you flew out the window.

#################

“What happened?”, Dustin asked after Eddie silently opened their front door and he saw their destroyed apartment. “We, um, Mike, Nancy, Robin, and I have been trying to call you guys these past couple of days. Did something happen? Someone break in?”

“No…nothing happened.”, the metalhead responded sullenly as he threw himself down on the couch. 

The young boy’s eyes flicked to Steve who was seemingly fuming as he paced back and forth in their kitchen.

“Did you get cut?”, Dustin inquired as he gestured towards his friend’s neck. 

“She has to come back. We know she’ll come back. She’ll remember. She’ll remember. She’ll remember.”

“Ok, no. Something’s not right! Now tell me or—”

“Or what?”, the former jock snapped. “Or WHAT, Henderson?!” Thrown off guard by his tone, Dustin slowly backed towards the door as his friend stalked his way. “Nothing then? Didn’t think so.” After lightly shoving the boy’s chest, he slammed the door and went back into the kitchen to pace. 

“That was rude.”, the vision of you scolded.

“Fuck OFF.”

“Oooo Mr. Harrington… are you…needy?”, you cackle mockingly as he glares your way. “Hmmm. Who would have thought you were into biting?”

“I’m not…you…you did something…”

“Who? Vampire Kas me? Ha! To be fair, it’s been, what, five months since either of you have gotten any? Feeling me on your lap again probably kick started your cock, you bad boy.”

The sound of glass shatters loudly as Steve throws a plate against the wall towards the vision of you. 

“Would you calm the fuck down!?”, Eddie shouts. 

“Fuck you!! Fuck everybody!”

The metalhead rises to his feet and stomps towards his friend before shoving his chest. 

“I feel it to but you don’t see me screaming at hallucinations and throwing shit!”

“Ugh! What did she do, Munson?!”

“She’s a fucking vampire now, right? Bats give off pheromones… Don’t look at me like that, Harrington! I don’t see you coming up with anything better!”

As night fell, they did everything they could to distract themselves but images of you constantly clouded their mind way more than before. They barely even heard it when your feet landed on the tile in the kitchen and your wings retracted. 

When their eyes landed on you, they thought they were envisioning you again. Your hair was laying down against your shoulders along a clean white tank top with matching shorts. Slowly, you tip toed to the couch where Eddie was laying drenched in sweat. Silently, you grabbed the back of his hand and place his palm against your cheek as you keened into the feeling. 

When his eyes found yours, his eyebrows knitted together as he pushed up on his elbow and his thumb ran along the purple bruise under your eye. 

“What happened, princess?”

Steve crawled from his place on the floor near the hallway till he was right beside you both and used his fingers to brush your hair behind your ear.

“Did I do that? Did we…?”

You shook your head as your gaze averted from theirs. 

“I…I asked my master…too many questions…”

The boy growled as he forced himself to his feet and stumbled towards the sword he had defeated you with on the ground. 

“I helped kill that fucker once, I can do it again.” 

Steve blinked in surprise when you were suddenly in front of him, gently prying the weapon from his hand. As he fell back against the wall, you fell into him and he limply circled his arms around you. 

“I’m sorry, honey. We’re not all…all here…”

Tenderly grabbing his hands, you placed them higher up your back before the sound of your wings expanding filled the apartment causing Eddie to roll off the couch and stagger your way. 

“No, NO, sweetheart, please…don’t go…”

Shaking your head, you place him beside his friend and lightly flap your wings their way. That feeling of need washed over them again causing both men to groan. 

“You were too close.”, you say as you gesture behind you. “It’s meant for enemies…to defuse a situation…I panicked…too many memories.”, you whisper sullenly. 

The metalhead tugs on your wrist, bringing you to him as he pushes your head against him. When your lips pressed against one of his tattoos, he practically melted, moaning at the action. Steve followed with a mewl of his own when your hand reached out to run along the hair that was sticking to his sweaty chest. 

A prominent whine escaped them as you took a few steps back with Eddie falling to his knees and crawling as he tried remaining as close to you as possible. Your eyelids fluttered as his lips trailed from your feet, along your calf, and up your thigh till he reached your stomach. 

After petting the long-haired boy’s head, you sauntered past them both down the hallway, pausing to beckon them with your finger and both men immediately follow. Laying down on the bed, they kiss and run their tongues along any part of your skin they can reach from your neck to the tips of your fingers.

Each pant and heavy whimper that left their mouths knocked something loose in your mind that turned you on more and more. 

“That’s it, Eddie, baby. Harder, please.”

“Fuck, Steve, I can feel you in my stomach.”

“Oh my God, pretty girl. You’re so fucking tight. You take us both so well.”

“That’s it, sweetheart. Ride my cock just like that.”

Lightly guiding his head with your fingers in his hair, you maneuvered Steve between your legs and helped him pull down your shorts while Eddie did the same with your top. 

The metalhead promptly latched onto your tit as the pretty boy pressed gentle kisses against your pussy lips till his tongue licked a long stripe through your folds. 

“Oh fuck, honey. I-I never thought I’d be able to taste you again. Still so fucking sweet.”

As his face fell back in your cunt and his mouth wrapped around your clit, your fingers softly played with his hair.

“That’s it, Steve. Such a good boy for me making me feel so good.”

Jealousy coursed through Eddie at the encouragement, desperately wanting it as well. Rings dug into your flesh as the long-haired boy sucked and nibbled on your breast a bit harder causing your back to arch into the man below. 

“Aw—mmm—does Eddie need some attention to? Fuck, your both gonna make me cum.” 

Both men hurried their rhythm just as desperate to hear you come undone and as you tumbled over the edge, you clung to them tightly as continuous moans fell from your lips. Grinning drunkenly, it took you some time to come down from your high but when you did you were met with animalist grunts as they pushed at each other. 

“You just ate her out! Why do you get to fuck her first?

“Because I can!”

A gruff growl left your throat as you pushed up and gripped Steve’s chin between your fingers roughly. 

“Don’t be greedy, Steve Harrington. You’re both mine and you’ve had a taste. It’s his turn.”

The boy nodded when you let him go, pressing his lips to yours.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re right. You’re right. Forgive me, baby, please.” At his last sentence, Steve’s voice cracked in pain and in return you kissed his forehead. “Thank you. I’m sorry, Ed. I’m so sorry.”

The metalhead curtly nodded as if to say he forgave his friend and when he turned to focus on you, he was rewarded with your legs open wide as your hand rubbed slow circles against your clit.

“Come here, Eddie. I can help make you feel better.”

After climbing the length of your body, his beautiful, glassy eyes locked with yours as he slowly guided his cock into your warm core making him loudly groan. 

“Ahhh my god, Y/N. Y-You feel…” He tried to control the strain in his tone but Eddie was so overwhelmed by the feeling of you as he delivered small, pointed thrusts that had little pants falling from your lips. 

“How do I feel, baby? Tell me.”

His long hair tickled your cheek as his head fell beside yours and your legs wrapped around his waist pushing him closer to you.

“You feel so fucking good. I missed you so much, sweetheart, you have no fucking idea. I’m sorry I failed to bring you back. I broke our promise.”

“You’re safe with me, pretty girl, and I promise nothing is ever going to hurt you as long as I’m here.”

Clinging to him, your lips tenderly kiss the skin along his shoulder as Eddie’s pace hastens and his hips slam aggressively into your own. 

“It’s ok, baby. You did everything y-you could.” You tried to say that as confidently as you could but the truth of the matter was you just didn’t remember. These past couple of days, your brain had been sifting through two timelines and it felt like sometimes you were viewing someone else’s life. But they were hurting and you could feel the sincerity when they spoke. 

Your master told you he loved you and would protect you; that he would never lie to you. But when you asked him questions about your memories, he became angry.

“WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME?! After everything I’ve done for you, Y/N. You let them get in your head didn’t you? Made you weak? I knew I should I have left you on the concrete.”

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.”, Eddie cooed as he lifted on to his elbow to look you over when he heard you start to sniffle. “Are you ok? Am I hurting you?”

Shaking your head, you encourage him with your palms to keep moving. His lips gently press a kiss to your forehead and down to your cheek as finds his rhythm again.

“Just l-like that, sweetheart, fuck. Your cock is so deep, Eddie.”, you whisper in his ear. “I love you.” 

Your eyes roll back as the coil snaps and your nails drag almost painfully down his back but the metalhead doesn’t care as he chases his high, falling flat on top of you as he rolls his hips and releases his seed inside of you.

“Good boy, baby. It’s Steve’s turn now, ok?”

Lazily nodding, he rolled to away from you as the other boy grabbed your arm and pulled you his chest while he laid on his side. After lifting your leg and hooking his arm under your knee, you helped guide his length into your sensitive hole causing your back to arch off the bed as you moaned. 

“Mmm—Stevie, oh my God—you’re so big. Stretching me open, baby boy.”

“Fuck.”, he groaned as he steadily pumped his hips. “Look at me, honey, please. I n-need to see your face.” When you craned your neck to do what he asked, his palm grazed your forehead, moving your hair back so he could see everything with no obstruction. “I missed you, Y/N. F-Fucking—mmm—dreamed about you every night.”

You mewled as he pounded into you and his arms abruptly pulled your body tighter against him.

“I tried, Y/N. I prayed you would never see the monsters in this town. I tried to—mmph—shield you.”

“Steven! What aren’t you telling me!” The man’s head hangs as he sits in his bedroom after you and Eddie picked him up from the hospital after the mall caught fire. “Baby…look at your face. That’s not just from a fire. Someone hurt you… Please…”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”, he murmured under his breath. 

Reaching out with your fingers to move his hair, Steve winces as a tear falls from his wounded eye. 

"Try us.”

Your fingers thread through his as his rhythm picks up and his cock abuses that spongey spot inside of you. 

“I’m sorry, baby. W-We weren’t fast enough…”

“It’s not your fault. Make me cum, Steve, please.” Pushing up on his elbow, his eyes met yours as he did what you asked and your mouth fell open in a silent moan as he thrust into you harder. “I love you to.”

Lips crashed to yours as your body trembled and you came with him following as he warmed your insides.

Both men clung to you as the kissed along your sweaty skin, thankful that you were between them once again. 

################

Vecna sighs from his spot in his crumbling home those insignificant kids tried to burn down. Idiots. He was slowly getting stronger and soon they would feel his wrath. Until then he had to depend on you; a friend and girlfriend to the people he despised. You had proven useful these past few months but when you disappeared, he thought they had killed you and began moving forward with his plan without you. 

When you flew in with half your armor missing and blood dripping from your mouth…he was disappointed. 

“What took you so long? I thought you were dead.”

Your head tilted at his aloof tone as you fought the urge to cry.

“I’m sorry, Master. Eddie and Steve were much harder to dispatch than I thought.”

“Hm. Eddie and Steve, huh? I thought they were the freak and asshole. At least that what’s you called them.”

“I-I-I…”

“Fitting men who hurt you and left you to die.”

“Did they?”

You didn’t mean to say it out loud but you still stood up straighter when he turned to face you, his intimidating eyes taking you in as he stepped forward. 

“Are you questioning me?”

“No…N-No, sir. I just…I’ve been having these…flashes and—”

Vecna’s large hand across your face cut you off as he smacked you hard and you fell to the ground. He reprimanded you and you flew away to your “home” to rest so you could go back out when night fell again. You thought he didn’t know your secrets but he always did. This WHOLE WORLD was his home. 

He felt the wind of your wings when you descended to the apartment building you felt safe in for some reason. The vine that you moved out of the way as you opened the window to a “random” apartment and curled up on a dusty bed. The pin of the thumb tac you put in the wall to replace the generic frames that were there with a banner from the trailer you explored next to where you woke up. 

You didn’t know what “Corroded Coffin” was but for some reason the design gave you peace. After removing your armor, you would sift through your closet for clothes you lifted from that same trailer and another house a few miles down the way. Dozens of polo shirts and band tee’s that were much bigger than your tiny frame but they calmed you as soon as you put them on. 

You had hidden little Knick knacks in the drawer nearby hoping one day you’d get the courage to ask your master why they felt so important to you. There was a 20-sided die beside a book with notes about dragons and dungeons and hair gel that smelled familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint where. You had four metal rings that sometimes you put on your fingers as you slept feeling like someone was holding your hand in the dark when you did. In the house you found the polos in, there was a pair of sunglasses on the dresser that you ignored at first because there was no sun here but something in your stomach tugged at you to bring them with you. 

“Weak”, Vecna thought every single time. 

When morning came around and you didn’t come home again he shifted from disappointed to annoyed. Maybe he needed to do this particular task himself. He still wasn’t as strong as he was before but he had enough strength to take out two measly men. 

You would learn…one way or another…

****

You gasp as the strong feeling that woke you slowly recedes but are hit with the peak of sunlight that penetrates the through the crack in the shades causing you to hiss as you jump out of bed and push your back to a corner. 

“Whoa! Ok, baby. It’s ok!”, Steve calms as he hastily throws off the covers and runs to fully cover the part of the window that had sun coming through. 

Eddie slides down to his knees in front of you as his eyes look you over with concern. 

“What’s going on, Y/N? What happened?”

“We…we…we have to…I have to go… I have to…”

“Sweetheart, it’s noon. The sun will hurt you—”

“Ok, then you need to leave. Right now. RIGHT NOW!”

As you stand up and start to push forward, ring covered fingers keep you in place before you growl and the man lets you go holding his palms in the air.  

“Just talk to us, honey. What’s going on? Let us help you.”, Steve pleads as he takes his place at his friend’s side. 

“He’s coming for you because I failed.”

“Who?”

Your worried gaze shifts between them both as you sigh and shake your head, annoyed that they don’t already know. 

“Who’s coming for us, baby?”, Eddie asked again as he stepped towards you and carefully pushed some of your hair behind your ear. Closing your eyes, you turn your cheek into his palm and kiss the skin as you place your hand over the back of his own. 

“My master.”

###############

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[forget-me-nightingale]

My favourite things about S7 of the Dragon Prince (part 1)

Because I need to let my emotions OUT and I know there is a lot of people here who will understand that<3 And also because I need to thank @dragonprinceofficial for creating a masterpiece of a show and because I am so sad there's so many posts about being disappointed in the season - like sure, it might've not been perfect, but it was SO GOOD and there was SO MUCH WORK put into it that I just HAVE to show how much love I have in my heart for these characters, this story and this entire show Part two will be posted tomorrow<3 1: DEATH ALIVE

Ethari's deep "Hmm…" at the beginning, his new design, the denialllll

Runaan being so stubborn about getting back to Ethari and ALLEN PICKING HIM UP BRIDAL STYLE THAT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD

Also Runaan lying in bed shirtless groaning and whimpering was not something that was on my 2024 bingo list but ho boy am I glad

Callum's grief after he got back to Katolis-- they showed it SO WELL, the heavy breathing, and then the mumbled "Soren, what happened…?" and Soren's voice breaking as well at the "There was nothing I could do!" as he breaks down crying that was SUCH GOOD PERFORMANCE FROM BOTH OF THEM SO RAW AND GENUINE AND EMOTIONAL Also the RELIEF Callum must've felt when he saw Soren after fearing that everyone died hgjdhgk you can literally see it in his eyes

Huge Aaravos just sexily lounging around next to the bones of his archdragon archenemy

Astrid going "I never promised." was so badass

Ezran going "We have to find Sol Regem and destroy him" after giving several speeches on how he wants to end the cycle of violence and just stop it all made me laugh so hard-- Like don't get me wrong, I know he's a kid and he's hurt and angry and that his reaction's justified but I just heavily dislike his character, and the fact that he threw his entire philosophy away the moment his emotions took over only strengthened it lmao

Aanya has such a gorgeous soft voice, I love listening to it SO much

Claudia and Terry's little flinch as Aaravoss gestured to show "an Archdragon's bite" hgfjdghjdfk

THE THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS AS HE WALKS like- It shows so well how MASSIVE he is in that form I love

THE FASHION SHOW AARAVOS PULLS OUT GDFKHGDFJK "Startouch may be too dazzzling, don't you think?" and the way he turns towards them with this flirtatious ass smirk jkdgfhkg

"I know you like Earthblood, Claudia" 😭

Runaan's moment of silence before going "NOT. ONE. MINUTE. LONGER." and the dramatic zooms on his face had me IN STITCHES

Also him going "Katolis…? Is t… is that necessary?" he's probably having like PTSD flashbacks thinking about that dungeon and the pain of Viren putting his soul in the coin 😭😭 and also Jonathan's voice as he says it is SO SMOOTH and velvety and I'm in love with that voice so much, I could listen to it for hOURS

We finally het to see Aaravos' human form and it's INCREDIBLE, and the fact that the first thing he does is to fake being injured is so Aaravos of him LMAO

Also I wonder how did Callum not recognize his voice??? I'm sure he thought a LOT about what happened when Aaravos possessed him that one time, and he sure had a lot of time to hear how he sounds like, and besides-- a voice like that would not be easy to forget even he Callum didn't have such traumatic memories attached to it lol

And the fact that Aaravos literally said Sol Regem killed his daughter :(( He literally never lies, not even under a disguise

The famous shot with Runaan and Rayla looking at Katolis<3 it was so nice to finally see it in the actual show

"Are you not the elf who killed my father, the King of Katolis?" "…I am." it was so soft and sad gdhjghfdjkghjfdk And then him WILLINGLY getting on his knees and putting his hands behind his back 🥺

2: TRUE HEART

I love the theme that sounded playing when Aaravos' team was approaching The Puzzle House, like it was the main theme but with like- circus undertones? Or these little music box rhythmic parts and clock ticking? Very cool vibes especially with how the house was portrayed in the little comic, with this almost steampunkish robotic inventions, LOVED it

"You don't have to ask!" I'm not a HUGE Rayllum shipper but oh my God that was such a sweet moment And then Callum going "That was salty" and Rayla chuckling "the tears" njgfdhjgjfjdd

Runaan having his wrists chained up AGAIN in the Banther Lodge give that man A BREAK

THE SCENE where Stella attacks the guards and they stumble over each other and Runaan just looks at them with pity and the camera zooms in on him I HAD TO PAUSE JUST I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD, the comedy of that moment was just 👌 And then Runaan going "hello there" 🥹 he's so soft and then calling out Rayla's name and smiling up at her???? hgfjkghjkdf

"Stop right there, Rayla! Part of me wishes I hadn't seen you… But my eyesight is perfect." so dramatic gdhg I love him And they Rayla's dark and low "Then just look away, Soren." was SO badass And poor Runaan having to hide behind her-- he's probably so upset that he can't fight them off on his own

"But Ez, this is exactly the cycle of violence you fought so hard to end! You forgave Zubeia!" "What?" "Who do you think sent Runaan to kill Dad?" EXACTLY WHAT I WAS SAYING And then he STILL throws it away and orders the soldiers to arrest him fjkhg I'm sorry if I'm upsetting the Ezran fans but I have such beef with his character LMAO

Soren desperately yelling "RICKETY SNICKERS" at the top of his goddamn lungs during their fight must've been SO WEIRD for Rayla without any context LMAOOO And Runaan giving her tips to help in that way at least was SO COOL I LOVED THAT "He overextends himself, Rayla! His front leg!" We finally got that father/daughter mentor/student duo LET'S GOO

Terry giggling at the sight of the carousel made me giggle and smile so much too it was SO BEYOND WHOLESOME AND THEN AARAVOS ACTUALLY HAVING GENUINE FUN ON THE RIDE AS WELL LMAOOO it was SO FUNNY but also SO wholesome at the same time I loved it SO MUCH

And also it was very very cool to see the carousel ride itself after seeing it in the House of Riddles comic - like, it's one thing seeing it there on paper, but it's a whole different thing to see it actually animated, it was AWESOME

"Oh no, are you okay??" "Okay?! I was confined to a tiny sphere in the mouth of a clam at the bottom of the sea for thee long, lonely centuries. That… was the most fun I've had in AGES!" THE EWAY HE LAUGHS AND GIGGLES like you can hear the genuine joy in his voice oh my God I was smiling so much We got a glimpse of how he would've been if Leola hadn't died and he could just play and goof around with her 😭

The Dragon Prince just casually mentioned a character practicing self-cannibalism and didn't even linger on it for a SECOND before moving on LMAO

Aanya shooting at Runaan actually got me SO SCARED especially when Rayla threw himself in front of him frjgkfdh please don't stress me out like that Thank God it was just his arm that was nicked but the man CAN'T GET A BREAK

And holy shit the expression on Ezran's face when he lifted his hand to give Aanya the signal, it was like-- so sad and hesitant, like "don't make me do this", the artists captured the expression SO WELL

And the lighting and the scene and the music that played during the scene when Rayla, Runaan and Callum ran to the boat was SO GORGEOUS-- like, the contrast between the golden light of the setting sun and the deep blue of the shadows, how Ezran's face and the soldiers were in the shadows but the rest was bathed in the light, and the scenery and the sky was just so breathtaking

Also Runaan caught Callum when he jumped in the boat 🥹

3: THE GLITTERING BONES

The Sunfire soldiers chanting "Queens of Mercy" was so epic

Soren going "You're the bread" at Corvus to try and lighten the mood at least a little bit and it completely not working broke my heart, he's trying so hard

And then Ezran snapping even at Zym??? Bro.

Claudia doing the nose tap thing again!!!!!!❤️ It's back!! And she was so happy giggling and laughing and everything, like yesss let a girl be happy and goofy

The Garden of Innocents was soooooo gorgeous

Aaravos saying "There is nothing to be afraid of, Claudia" as she reanimates the unicorn bones 🥹 Was that a callback to him saying "there's nothing to fear" to Leola or am I reaching too far And THEN him saying "Well done" gjdfhfgdkj

"You remind me of her" THERE WE GOOOO he has such a soft spot for her "…and silly"❤️

That scene when Janai snaps at Karim!!!!!! The performance was SO GOOD, the raw FRUSTRATION and helplessness and anger and desperation in her voice!!! Especially that "How many times do I have to attempt to spare you?!" line??????

4: UNFINISHED BUSINESS

Callum, Runaan and Rayla doing the ritual dance all together was so beautiful already, and then Runaan's "I dreamt of this" gfdjkghdk

"Yeah, but… You'll want a minute with Ethari, right? A minute alone…..?" and Runaan being quiet and hesitating for a bit and then just going "…. yes. :)"

Okay so the Reunion scene-- I'm a huge Ruthari shipper and Runaan is my absolute favourite character in the show (if you couldn't tell by now), along with Ethari, so you can imagine the state I was in at that scene--- Like- First the way Ethari looks at Runaan in the reflection, cause he's probably so used to doing it to see if Rayla came back to him???? And calling him his "beloved phantom" and Runaan's expression changing to confusion- you can literally SEE him smiling softly at the "hello, my beloved" but as Ethari says "phantom" his expression immediately changes and it's portrayed SO WELL GJDHGDJ

"I see you everywhere…. Hear your voice when you aren't there… But I am BEGGING you, Runaan, leave me be. Let me let you go." "But I made you a promise." "And I long to make peace with its breaking." That was such an absolutely gorgeous piece of dialogue, and I've already talked about how I love Runaan's voice, but Ethari's as well??? The accent, the slight rasp, the kind of rough-iness in it, the hard 'r's, like oh my God, every time he speaks I am just enchanted

And THEN Ethari flinching away as Runaan touches him cause he was so sure that it's just his imagination-- and Runaan kissing his hand-- and the "It's me. I'm home." sounded SO GORGEOUS and if you look at Ethari's lips you can see them trembling cause he's about to cry--- AND THEN THE KISS OF COURSE I WAS CRYING SO MUCH WE'VE WAITED LITERAL SIX YEARS FOR THIS DAMN KISS CAUSE RUNAAN GOT IMPRISONED IN THE FIRST SEASON WHICH CAME OUT IN SEPTEMBER 2018 SIX YEARS IN AZKABAN

And the music that plays during the kiss too? ;_; I need the entire soundtrack out ASAP

RAYLA PANICKING ABOUT RUNAAN CATCHING HER AND CALLUM KISSING GFJDHGJDHGD She almost threw him off the damn branch LMAO

Ethari going "Not another word, Rayla!" as she starts to try and make her problems smaller gjddhkgd "Your family is here for you" 🥹🥹🥹

The slow realization I had of why exactly Aaravos needed Terry to find a BIG feather and a SMALL feather The way the creators intentionally made it set in so slowly And Terry going "I SAID STOP" with this pure RAGE in his voice, and Aaravos just flicking him off with a single gesture

"She would do anything to return to them, but she can't." subtle reference to Leola again And also Aaravos' coldness in that scene hfjgkdghjj no wonder Terry was terrified

The fact that Runaan has a title of "Master of Blades"?? I love it so much

"Rayla yet lives." "You speak the name of a Ghost." "I SPEAK THE NAME OF MY DAUGHTER." !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️

The way Rayla holds her hands over Runaan and Ethari's joined ones as she appears gfjdhk I love the Moonfam so so so so much

"To invoke the ritual, one of you must bind your fate to hers." "Both of us, Keeper." SAID WHILE HOLDING HANDS AND LOOKING AT EACH OTHER SO LOVINGLY JFDKGHJKD

Terry telling Aaravos "You're sick." HOHOHOHOOOO and the way Aaravos circles him like a predator around his prey was so scary

Ethari putting a hand on Runaan's shoulder and Runaan covering it with his own to reassure him gdjfhgdfjk

Rayla calling the four assassing by names and their names being spoken in general for the FIRST time in the series--- I was so happy and surprised to hear it And the references to the pledge they made so long ago in the first season 🥹

"A life for a life… is that justice?" the way Rayla said it was so nice and soft and sad and jdgfhk

RUNAAN HUGGING RAYLA OUT OF HIS OWN INITIATIVE GHDFJGHDJKGHK

I was literally SO SCARED when the Keeper snapped and revealed he was Ram's father, I literally whimpered out loud cause I was SO FREAKING WORRIED that they won't get through to him and he won't unghost her I was STRESSING

And then Rayla just crying in Callum's arms??? 🥺🥺

[z3rinn]

# #. KINGDOM CALLING !!

Being a Keyblade Wielder you thought you'd have seen everything by now. But you never expected to end up in a world where the villains you defeated were worshipped.

more twst x kh content because i’ve been hyper fixated on it for the past few months T_T speaking of, the reason I've been gone for so long is because I’ve now got a fic in the makings- using this exact concept! it’s posted on my wattpad and quotev, but I’m also debating if I should put it on this site… it’s quite long though! lmk if you guys think I should :]

Twisted Wonderland was weird.

You thought you’d have seen everything by now. Being a Keyblade Wielder, your job was to travel across worlds, defeating the darkness and hate spread by those willing to conquer.

You’d experienced stories and magic you could barely comprehend, standing on the sidelines as you watched fairytales play right before your eyes.

Creatures and supernaturals were considered friends, being far different from the monsters you imagined them to be. Even talking animals were a common thing now, having traveled with Donald Duck and Goofy for a better part of three years now.

You never thought you'd miss them.

Your life back on Destiny Islands was simple. Back there, you had a home; with small rowing boats and hammocks on the tiny island a quick swim away. You had proper food, with star shaped fruits said to bind your soul with your loved ones. Most importantly- you had your best friends; Sora, Riku, and Kairi— all eccentric yet lovable characters that held your heart. You would do anything for them.

The island was a sanctuary, a place for comfort and familiarity. If you had known what you did now, you would've trapped yourself there, basking in the warm sand and cool water brushing across your body. But then, being young and immature, you just wanted to leave.

Three years have passed since then. Years full of mystery and surprise.

You had undergone many things on your journey; battling against Heartless and monsters. Falling down rabbit holes and encountering princesses every which way you turned. Meeting leaders of all kinds of worlds, binding your hearts to create everlasting friendships. You had even sided with villians, willing to set aside your differences to accomplish your goals.

It was odd… working with Maleficent.

At one point you even had your heart stolen. Ripped away from you to create a husk. And that was just the surface.

You thought you had seen everything by now....

But Twisted Wonderland was weird.

Everything happened so suddenly; kicking open an overly fancy coffin ( far different from the ones Jack Skellington used ) only to be met by a creature that looked oddly like Stitch. But before you could ask anything, he gave chase, demanding you give him your robes— how did you even get these on?

Panic stricken, you ran. Running across classrooms, hallways, and courtyards- all while trying to get away from the cat.

Questions and concerns began to gush through your mind. How could you have gotten here? Where was everyone?

And where were you?

The next thing you knew, you were in a regal library, cornered by the monster. Floating books and dancing lanterns surrounded you, all approaching with intrigue. They all seemed to be observing you, like they were anticiping something.

Blue fire brushed across your skin, the flames flickering against your robes. You realized they were waiting for a spell, like they knew you would cast it before the thought could even pop into your mind.

Just as you raised your hand, getting ready to summon your Keyblade, a whip wrapped around the cat.

Both of you jumped, eyes darting to the double doors, finding a crow-looking man standing there. He looked oddly disappointed. Your eyes immediately narrowed, hands tensing.

Just looking at him made you feel on edge.

He was radiating darkness.

His golden eyes seemed to be staring right into your soul, gazing deep and pulling you apart from the seams. They pierced through your own. Entrancing. Like they were studying and discerning your moves. You didn't like them.

They looked like a villians.

You were wary of the man, raising a brow when he introduced himself. Crowley was his name; Descendant of a Hero. An odd name for someone whose heart seemed so full of darkness. He led you to a chamber room, surrounded by floating coffins and magic. Dark energy overfilled the room, whispers and cackles echoing from robed figures as they eyed your form.

You thought back to Organization XIII.

You didn't like robes all that much anymore.

They were traumatizing.

Crowley huffed, pushing you in front of— the magic mirror? Was that the one The Evil Queen used?

The mask in the mirror spoke, blank eyes narrowing at you as if you'd attack it at any second. Of course, it had every right to be afraid. Your friend literally threw a giant key at it once. Hopefully it could get passed that though, and you could ask it how you got here?

It bullshitted something about you not having a soul, ( you had a strange inkling it was being petty but whatever ) but before it could finish, the cat broke free.

He yelled, claiming he was strong enough to be at this school, and that he deserved your spot. You tilted your head at his outburst. Was that all he wanted? You gladly would've given your spot to him. You weren’t meant to be in this world in the first place. Hopefully you’d be out of here soon.

You had Heartless to go fight.

You had to go find Sora.

A quick mishap occurred, with Grim ( you remembered his name ) setting the room on fire. Apparently he was trying to show off his magic; an odd way to do so but you digress. A red haired boy chased after him, along with a boy with glasses.

Their magic was strange, coming out of a jeweled pen of all things.

Wind magic was casted, similar to your own Aero spells. Water attacks were aimed at it, easily dousing the blue flames. It was honestly amazing, watching so much magic come out of a tiny pen.

The redhead stopped in front of the cat, pointing his pen at him with narrowed eyes. Your own widened as he shouted a curse.

Off with your head.

That sounded awfully familiar.

…

Crowley was going to kick you out.

The magic mirror- or rather the dark mirror- explained that you didn't have a home to go to. You guessed it was because Destiny Islands was a whole other world, and simple mirror travel wouldn't be able to reach that far.

No matter, you could simply contact Donald or Riku on your Gummi phone and go home.

But of course, the first time a phone specifically made to communicate between worlds doesn't work is when you need it most.

So you did the only thing you could.

And showed him your Keyblade.

He muttered something to himself, widened eyes never leaving the blade in your hand. His feathers ruffled in surprise and intrigue, the slight curl of them being… strange. 

It was as if they were smiling.

Your eyes flickered to his own- noticing his scary… intense gaze.

You didn’t dare break contact, being far too focused on those piercings eyes. 

Those haunting, golden eyes. 

Eyes that looked just like Xehanorts.

The Headmage led you to a rundown cabin, home to a variety of ghosts and cobwebs. The building reminded you of the ones in Halloween Town; rundown with mischievous creatures inhabiting the spaces. These ghosts just looked like marshmallows.

You let out a low sigh, allowing yourself to fall on the dusted couch in the lounge. Debris flew up under your weight, flying into the air before dissapting. Your gaze was focused on the ceiling above, dazed as rain droplets fell to your cheeks and the wooden floors below.

The building was silent, aside from the rain. Wind blew against cobwebs, flying past your face and sticking to the rotting wood. Splinters and jagged pieces spiked up, parts of the walls ripped apart from age and student endeavors.

It was lonely here.

You didn't have anyone in this world.

Not even Jiminy fucking Cricket.

You hadn’t been alone in a long time.

The door creaked open, "Myah- it's really pouring out there!"

...

Twisted Wonderland.

That's what this place was called.

A world very befitting for its name.

Everything about this world was off— or at least— Night Raven College was.

Students seemed to love and adore the beings you had tried so desperately to keep away. They had dorms dedicated to them, embracing their darkness and allowing themselves to fall under its curse. Darkness that you had to get rid of.

Of course, they didn't actually know about the dangers you faced, finding these villians to be great and kind. They didn't know of the death and tragedy caused- the mistakes you had to fix.

It was strange though. Worlds weren't supposed to know of one another, otherwise chaos could ensue.

So why was Twisted Wonderland a combination of them all?

You suppose that's how this place got its name.

Everything in this world was twisted. Villians were considered heroic; great and all mighty beings that you and Sora definitely didn't beat.

While in the botanical gardens you sometimes laugh, imagining Leona's face if you told him you helped kill Scar. He gives you weird looks, telling you to shut up and go back to sleep. You try. It doesn’t work.

It wasn't until the Riddle incident did you realize why you were sent to this world. Darkness and hatred had been accumulating in the corners of this realm, seeping into the depths of people's hearts.

It was at times like this that made you miss Sora.

You turned over on your bed, eyes focused on the ceiling above. Moonlight seeped in through the wooden cracks, bits of the glowing celestial body peeking in. It was almost speaking to you, luring you towards it with the promise of comfort.

Kingdom Hearts.

Your eyes shut, turning away from the beckoning moon.

Well whatever. You had another long day ahead of you.

…

Thoughts? This was just a quick wip that I made in like an hour lolll. I’m thinking of doing another part tho, where we dive into character interactions and such. Rlly wanna write for Silver and a KH! MC!

[vspin]

Astarion should have had a post-Araj conversation (that doesn’t lock in the romance) AND the unprompted confession 

You might have noticed that Patch 3 changed Astarion’s romance progression a bit. Previously, if you had entered Moonrise and had high enough approval with Astarion, he would approach the MC at a long rest and confess his manipulations and growing feelings towards the player character.  It’s such a beautiful scene and is so well acted. Now that confession is tied to after you kill Yurgir and if you haven’t talked to Araj in Moonrise. 

I actually kind of like his confession being tied to progressing his personal quest, and if you think about it an early admission in Act 2 does seem kind of quick based on his past/struggles. 

Buuut, I am disappointed that if you talk to Araj early-on you can lock in the romance then and you won’t get the unprompted confession later on, because I think that scene is much stronger from a ROMANCE and partnership perspective. 

Araj Conversation

The post-Araj conversation is an amazing moment for Astarion’s development and arc. His realization that he never stopped acting like a slave. His decision to stand up for himself and advocate for what he wants. It’s so powerful. It’s a critical moment for Astarion and his journey to be free from Cazador.

Honestly, I think tying it to the romance really cheapens it and creates an initially one-sided dynamic for his romance.  

These are the dialogue options after he thanks you:

The first 3 options lead to him opening up more about his feelings and this line: 

After this, if you want to progress the romance you tell him you care for him and it leads to the hug scene/whatever option you want. 

BUT HE NEVER MENTIONS MANIPULATING YOU and that he's developed feelings. Hello Astarion!? I feel like that's kinda important to the dynamic here! With these options, poor Tav is left in the dark because it doesn’t come up again really.

Now, if you pick the last option: Why sleep with me?

You get these lines: 

(His face lmao, smug little bastard)

His line delivery here is interesting. He’s very matter-of-fact about it. He’s like “duh! I was using you and it was easy”. 

Depending on how you're RPing your MC this pretty rough lol. A naive and good-hearted Tav may have actually thought there was something there. 

And these are the dialogue options to respond to it. That’s it. No pushback from Tav. They can end things, just be friends, or progress the relationship. Idk it’s just not my favorite. 

Unprompted Confession

Compare that to the unprompted confession. 

He approaches Tav. He confesses the manipulation and what I think is super important he is THINKING about Tav’s feelings: “You deserve something real.” 

And what I love is that Tav can choose to immediately confess their feelings or push back a little here: 

I think this is a much better dynamic between potential partners. Options 2 + 3 really give more context to his feelings and also allows Astarion to reiterate his positive feelings towards MC. 

Up until this point in the relationship, the MC has given a lot to Astarion, and Astarion hasn’t given much back beyond sex. Tav has listened to Astarion open up about Cazador, protected him from the monster hunter, helped with his scars, the mirror conversation, let him drink from them (potentially), and supported the endeavor with Raphael. 

I think this conversation is Astarion acknowledging all that and him giving something back in return by being honest with his feelings, even if there is a chance he’ll get nothing out of it. 

I think this why people love the Durge x Astarion romance so much because it offers more give and take between the two, and depending on which confession scene you get with Tav it is a very one-sided dynamic in comparison.

The second scene a MUCH better foundation for something to develop between the two in my opinion.

Final Thoughts

I think the Araj scene should happen regardless but with the romance portion omitted. Of course, I think Astarion should still break up with MC if they made him drink, force him to have sex, or give Tav an option to end it as well if this isn't something they want to involve themselves in. 

Then, I think you should get the actual confession after defeating Yurgir. I think it makes sense that after Tav has advocated for Astarion’s autonomy and helped with his scars he realizes his feelings. 

Big thanks to these Youtube channels here and here for the screenshots. My saves are a mess and I didnt want to fight with it.

[bugbuzzbugbuzz]

Like I’m. SO unbelievably mad about Zoochosis it’s not even funny. Parasites and diseases have been a special interest of mine since I was a kid and the trailers were so promising.

Also they showed their hand with Doc too fucking early, but that can be attributed to “you needed more than one day” in this game. The twist of him being an evil bastard would’ve worked better if you didn’t immediately show him pulling out the main characters call to a suicide hotline OR him killing the main character for taking too long to sign an NDA. The rush to get to the meat of it ruins any anticipation or tension for the ultimate reveal.

Multiple days would also give you a chance to get attached to the animals, as just naming them doesn’t really do much, yeah they have cutesy names but they don’t have PERSONALITY. Make one of them approach the player for pets, thus making it easier to do check ups on them. Make one of them run from the player forcing you to utilize your tranqs or even have treats to bribe them, giving more reasons to having those tools in the first place. Having them transform on a set timer immediately also kind of sucks because BOTH playthroughs I watched didn’t use the UV light at all, which having multiple days would fix because the transformations would take longer.

They also fucked up with the “human meat” thing. Yeah ohhhh so scary they’re eating people 🙄🙄🙄 it’s been done to actual death at this point and I feel it’d be much more horrifying to use the carcasses of the infected animals creating a never ending cycle if they aren’t truly cured. Feeding infected carcasses to other animals is LITERALLY how mad cow disease started!!!!

It could’ve been a critique on the greed found in some Zoos as well as fake animal rescues, where they claim to help animals but only do it for profit, but instead we got a boring story about some evil guy who???? Feeds a monster for an undisclosed reason the devs probably didn’t fully consider.

“The parasites didn’t attack you because you were infected uwu” LAME!! BORING!!! I don’t care that they didn’t insta kill you but they should at least MAUL you a little!!! Change how the player got the parasite from doc giving it to you to you eating infected food!! Maybe doc even purposefully infected the food!! The game also explained there were some variants of the parasites that would attack and kill any competition! They could still keep their “parasites don’t attack and kill you” thing but limit it! Maybe only the tutorial one doesn’t kill you but the others are the more aggressive kind due to evolution!!

There are so many better ways the parasites could’ve been handled but it feels like the devs truly had no love towards the subject matter? Maybe they did at some point but too many people got involved and the love and care was lost in translation.

It’s just so disappointing as somebody who actually enjoys reading and learning about parasites, fictional or otherwise. We got no real story, lore, or information about them. Would a sequel fix it? Maybe! Only if they cut half the team out of the writing room and focused on actually caring a little about story and lore beyond “discount colonel sanders wants to feed alien mommy”

ALSO HOW CAN YOU HAVE A GAME CALLED ZOOCHOSIS WITHOUT ACTUALLY SHOWING THE ANIMALS SUFFERING FROM ZOOCHOSIS

[bengiyo]

I Hear the Sunspot Wasted Taichi As a Character

I went off a bit in the tags of @lurkingshan's Japanese QL Corner earlier, but I’m still annoyed enough about this to make a proper post. I wanted to leave this show alone because I liked Kohei and Taichi in the early episodes enough, but this show wasted our time for 6-8 weeks in a way that I find unforgivable. They took a loudmouthed, forthright, and well-intentioned character and made him stare blandly for almost two months while actively avoiding his and Taichi’s feelings. I’m so disappointed.

I’m glad @twig-tea has been covering some of what she remembers from the source material, because her added context has kept me from feeling so confused about this show. It feels rather insidious that this show would cut out any of Taichi’s struggles with Kohei’s queerness, and what reciprocity within himself means in favor of Taichi just looking confused at the camera for two months. It feels like a cowardly choice, because they didn’t want their main character to be unlikeable. It’s like they knew, like many J-BL recently, that they would not spend time in what becoming a couple for these two friends would mean. They also got so precious about the physical intimacy at the end in a way that just doesn’t work for me. Substituting food for intimacy doesn’t always work. I don’t even think ending on a kiss fixes this, because no amount of soft intimacy fixes the years of avoidance Taichi subjected Kohei to. 

It really bothers me how this show was so much longer than the film adaptation we got years ago only to be fundamentally worse because it refused to complete the full arc of their story. With the entire story available, why focus only on this initial getting together portion, strip out characterization, and also merge two female characters to create a worse one as a result? This ended up making both Taichi and Maya so unlikeable. Taichi went from demanding that Kohei speak up for himself and make sure people hear him, to someone who actively avoided Kohei’s clear confessions multiple times for two years! This is terrible!

Maya was such a frustrating character, especially because I’d spent time with Nana in Silent (2022). Nana presented a far more nuanced set of grief about hearing people engaging in hard of hearing and deaf people that Maya sorely lacked. Beyond that, her personality shifted with each episode to suit whatever needs the narrative suddenly asked of her. It was not fair to her actress, who never feels like she’s dialed in properly, and it’s unfair to both characters she’s asked to cover. Moreover, it’s unfair to the Taichi character, because so much of his stilted characterization ends up blamed on her entry into the story when it’s not her fault. It’s the writers’ fault for abandoning anything resembling an arc for Taichi.

This really was just such a waste. I really liked the building relationship between our leads in the early episodes, and I thought the actors had good working chemistry. I did not enjoy the entire back half of this show, and it was so annoying to see this show spin its wheels until the very last minute, before changing a key reunion scene for a half-hearted hug to conclude this wobbly narrative. These characters deserved a better adaptation than this, and it’s yet another strange adaptation this year afraid of the story they’re telling. I’m over it.