#but overall this is just. like. shit sucks and is bad and was always gonna be bad
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obligatory post election personal vent post feel free to scroll
its like. after however fucking long of seeing people online pissing and screaming themselves about how having the barest fucking standards for a political candidate will condemn us all to a gruesome horrific fate. its just hard to motivate myself to the same level of sheer panic everyone else seems to be moving through
cuz being so fr this situation is literally identical to the state i was in like. 8 months ago
like the reason so many of us online were shaking people to fucking do something 8 months ago is because of the exact shit people are only now freaking out about.
like honestly. if anyone in my immediate circle dies in the next four years. its probably gonna be me! and that was as true in june as it is now!
for the individuals at the very bottom of the iron wheel of suffering, the material differences between the two candidates were next to nothing, because both hinged on grinding people like me up to prop up two technically-different but mostly-similar blocs of valued people. like my quality of life was never any important to biden, it wasnt to kamala, and it still wont be to trump. i cant work up the energy to have a genuine panic attack because i honestly exhausted those reserves ages ago
like. being so for real right now. addressed to a general audience and not current reader specifically. do any of you know how genuinely difficult it is to live like this? i already had no abortion access because abortions cost money and gas and there wasnt any insurance to use or cars to drive. i havent had access to critical life improving medication for 7 years, where it became blatantly obvious it was needed. when my entire world collapsed beneath my feet and one of my only remaining family members died and the resulting financial distress left the rest us floundering, there already wasnt a safety net beneath my feet. i was expected to be crushed. the fact that im still alive is probably a miracle.
the insurance we did have is currently exploiting a niche paperwork problem regarding having an insurance plan via family, so now there are two seperate insurance companies playing hot potato with medical visits either one of them could cover but both refuse to, leaving us saddled with stacking medical debt and a primary care provider whos pulled the plug on refilling prescriptions for medication because of it.
any person who could conceivably help us is across several state lines at the closest. we cant even receive deliveries because there isnt an address to send it to, including shit as simple as doordash. like thats the level of isolated here, where even if someone wanted to hand deliver food to us, they are simply unable to. theres no gas to drive for better signal or a computer with a printer, to drive to meet a beuracrat who knows how to qualify us for assistance. if im dysphoric and suicidal, theres genuinely nothing i can fuckin do about it. theres a high chance i have inherited intersex traits from my grandma that are causing health issues that i cant treat, and it wouldnt even matter if i was cis because you have to have the time money and ability to make multiple concurrent doctors visits.
i saw a post where someone was pissy that people voted based on gas prices when lives are at stake but what fucking world do you live in where gas doesnt determine if people live or die. you have to pick up insulin somehow right??
the truth of the matter is that the communities your fearmongering for have needed your health long LONG before this clownshow of an election rolled into the fucking circus and 90% of the people freaking out online dont have a fucking clue how to help. before trump got elected the first time around, me and mine were being left behind by people who couldnt value our health safety and wellbeing over the gas cost of being in a car for an hour. and that isnt even touching on the fact that for most of these years weve been isolated with a violent abuser that we only recently traded out for a different kind of homelessness.
kamala fucking harris wasnt going to keep me alive. she sure as shit wasnt going to help palestine stay alive. and when people pointed this shit out in a desperate plea to start the aid work EARLY, we got met with a fucking tide of blue maga shitheels openly fantasizing about republican death squads as just desserts for not kowtowing enough to a fucking imperialist. how can i panic now when my death sentence is the same as it was at the start of the year?
did anyone from those massive hurricanes actually get helped? could THEY vote? were they counted as important enough to meaningfully listen to for the sake of electoral power? you know the answer as well as i do.
i have more in common with a palestinian refugee, with a citizen in sudan, lebanon, ukraine, than i do with the people who use their names to avoid giving half a shit about their neighbor. the idea of writing them off as unavoidable casualties is just unimaginable to me. i have more in common with the indigenous survivors in my state than with the politicians who refuse to grant them human dignity. when was THAT gonna change.
my position under trump hasnt fundamentally changed. and its not because im so privelleged as to be shielded, but because im so vulnerable that i wasnt worth protecting even under a dem administration. and youd be a fool to think this is an isolated case. if i dont stand with my communities of color, with my fellow disabled isolated covid survivors, with my disenfranchised impoverished comrades, who the fuck will? certainly not the vast quantity of keyboard warriors blowing up twitter. if im bitter and tired i think i have a right to be. watching death come for my family on the heels of repeat covid infections on top of a lifetime of poverty induced medical neglect and seeing the people supposedly in my corner ask me to fucking throw them under the bus has been a ghoulish experience, all while refusing to listen to anyone else in my situation beg and plead for awareness and understanding to motivate them into meaningful action. that such depths of human suffering can exist and not even come close to the lowest of agonies capable of being experienced, shielded as thin as i am by the privellege of being white, is mindboggling. like were expendable. always have been. there isnt any protection to be gotten from these administrations cuz our blood is meant to grease the wheels.
its gonna get worse. obviously. the thing is, it was always going to get worse. it was always gonna try and kill me and mine. obviously im going to try to survive, what else can i do, but there was never even a mirage shimmer of safety for a lot of us. acting like kamala harris was some uniformly better option is just cruel. of course we need your help now but at some point you have to stop and think about why you only start caring about the people underneath the wheel when it looks like itll be your turn. because all it really does is make us wonder: would you still try to save us if you werent worried about yourself? and the answer were hearing, from your derision and hatred and cruelty, is a resounding no
idk how to end this. its a long ass vent. im tired and im gonna try and eat sometime tomorrow, and hope climate change doesnt try to kill me cuz i wouldnt be able to stop it in this condition
#vent post#long post#content warning#idk what to specifically tag for. this is a very personal post addressed to no one in particular#that isnt very like. politically concise or actionable. its just a lot of complaining and being quietly miserable.#i guess warning for doomerism maybe?? fuck idk.#but overall this is just. like. shit sucks and is bad and was always gonna be bad#i havent slept cuz of the heat and i havent eaten for the same reason. and that wasnt gonna change no matter how the election went
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~ Y/n is a "nerdy but hot" type of girl whos also rlly smart. The bad boy hyunjin has secret eyes for her. Shes always alone in class and doesnt talk to many ppl so basically shes mysterious ooo. One day hyunjin finally asks her to tutor him and she gets surprised knowing he knows she exists. Hyunjin has hooked up w many other girls but y/n is different as shes not despo like them and thats what attracts him to her. They both meet late night at a cafe and y/n is wearing a black tank top which has her neck and chest exposed and her lacy bra straps can be shown as well. She covered herself w a fuzzy jacket before entering the cafe but eventually took it off whilst tutoring hyunjin. Hyunjin feels lusty looking at y/n being so effortlessly hot and unknowing of it, he also gets turned on by the way she sucks her frappe straw etc. But he controls himself and after their study session ends hyunjin offers to drop her home on his bike and somehow enters her apartment as well where she lives alone and cozy with a good view of the city. They both have a deep convo before it turns into hot late night sleepy smut fr (also unexperienced y/n doing things with the guidance of hyunjin) tysmm
A Shakespeare's Sonnet - Hwang Hyunjin
Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x fem!reader
Warnings: smut!!, fluff, minho's mean but he's just an overprotective little shit, minsung exes to lovers, slight angst, felix and jeongin being supportive besties
Summary: The one where Hyunjin needs tutoring literature sessions, you are a smart hot student and Minho almost faints.
Word count: 9,3k (i went too far i fear)
PS: This was sent in April, i apologize for being so late ☠️. i've been working on a felix smau so forgive me 😭
MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi
Hyunjin walked the halls of uni, his lazy walk attracting countless girls who would squeal under their breaths as they watched him pass across them, hoping silently one of them could end up being another notch on his bedpost.
Hyunjin would be lying if he said he didn’t notice. Or that he didn’t love it. He was never one to take advantage of it, but having that feeling around him, of being wanted, was awesome.
His friends also loved the attention people always had projected on him. It meant being invited to frat parties every single weekend, the coach calling them to the football team, and obviously, having girls flutter around them 24/7.
What wasn’t something that was guaranteed by Hyunjin’s popularity, was having good grades.
Hyunjin didn’t really study much, but he considered himself a smart person, so overall, he was a pretty good student.
Until literature happened.
He was so sure he was going to ace it, until a new professor, Mr. Jackson, came to uni and started giving out homework and assignments that were hard as fuck.
The boy couldn’t believe his bad luck, as every single assignment he handed in, returned with a very angry red mark in the shape of an F.
It was a Wednesday, when Hyunjin sat by the last seats of literature class, knowing how it was going to go down.
“Do you think you passed?” Changbin asked Chan.
Chan only snorted. “No way, man. I actually read the book he gave us last time, like 3 times, and the fucker still gave me an F” he rolled his eyes.
Hyunjin sighed. “I think I failed as well”
“Yeah, dude, you’ve been failing all of yours. What’s up? You never go on a streak” Jisung says next to him.
He shrugs. “I guess it’s this fucking dude that apparently has a thing against me”
“Nah, I don’t think so” Changbin said. “I mean, he has a thing against you, but I think it’s against all of us”
“Thank you” Hyunjin said with sarcasm.
“Yo, this friday we’re going to Seungmin’s, okay? He already gave me a preview of the place and it’s going to be big” Jisung said excitedly.
“I don’t think I’m gonna go” Hyunjin said.
His three friends went silent.
“Excuse me?” Changbin asked.
“Yeah, I’m failing literature way too hard and without a reason. And, I don’t know about you, guys, but I really want to get my degree. And literature won’t stop me from getting that” He told his friends.
“But mate, it’s literally one party” Changbin said.
“No, it’s one party every week” he told him. “Maybe that’s why I’m failing. Because I’m not trying hard enough”
“Well, it won't be the same without you there, mate, but it’s your call” Chan smiled slightly.
“Thank you!” Hyunjin said with a high pitched voice.
Mr. Jackson’s unwanted presence walked into the room and Hyunjin sighed in disdain. He wanted earth to swallow him up already.
“Okay, class, I’m handing you today your assignments from last class. I am… disappointed to say the least” the professor said and Hyunjin inwardly rolled his eyes. “Only two people passed, and that’s Mr. Lee, and Miss Y/L/N. Congratulations” the man smiled at two students who were in front of him.
Hyunjin frowned. He had to get the number of either of those people to help him pass this fucking subject.
“Oh, of course Minho passed. Ugh” Jisung faked a gag.
Hyunjin smiled. “What’s the matter?”
“See that guy over there?” he pointed at a guy with slight orange hair going on black, talking to a girl. “That’s my ex”
“Oh God, that’s your ex! Minho goes here? Since when? How did I not notice?”
“Yeah”
“Fuck…”
Jisung frowned. “Why do you say that?”
“I was going to ask him to tutor me, since I suck”
“No! No, no, no. You won’t ask Minho to help you. No way. Ask Y/N, his friend” Jisung shook his head.
Hyunjin frowned. “O…kay” he said slowly. “I will. Y/N… I think I know her. Her hair… sounds familiar”
“Yeah, we went to high school together” Jisung replied.
Hyunjin’s eyes widened. “That’s Y/N?” he asked.
“Yeah” He nodded.
“I didn’t… I didn’t even know she went here” he said with a confused tone.
“Why do you sound disappointed?”
“I… okay, I used to have a crush on her when we were in like… third year? And, well, apparently she didn’t like me” Hyunjin shook his head.
“You’re lucky I liked you in secondary. You were an ass”
“Yeah…”
Hyunjin straightened up his position when Mr. Jackson walked towards him and put the paper on his desk.
“Disappointed in you, Mr. Hwang” Mr. Jackson told him.
When he walked away, Hyunjin turned around. “He always says that” Hyunjin spat.
Jisung smiled. “I actually got a D this time”
“Yeah, I got an F like always”
Jisung pressed his lips together. “I really think you should consider talking to Y/N to help you” he told him. “She’s a good girl. And she’s super smart”
Hyunjin chewed on his lip. “Okay…”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.
You put your paper away inside your bag and smiled at your friends.
“Okay, I am, like, so jealous you guys passed” Jeongin sighed. “I’ve only passed two of his assignments. And this is like the eighth!”
You smiled with a giggle. “It’s only reading and rereading the texts. This one was really tough. I’m lucky I got a C” you said.
“Yeah, I got a C-” Minho said.
“Yeah, sorry, why was Jisung staring at us?” Felix asked, nudging his forehead towards him.
You all turned around and saw Jisung talking to his friend.
Minho sighed. “I don’t even wanna know, honestly” he shook his head. “I can’t believe he’s still friends with that asshole, my God”
“Who? Hyunjin?” Felix asked.
“Yeah”
“He’s… not that bad” Felix scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
“Yeah, no. He’s horrible” you sighed. “He was always staring at me with a scowl on his face and being witness of his bully friends back in high school”
“Thank God those fuckers didn’t apply to this one” Jeongin sighed.
“Yeah. Unfortunately we got the worst. The witnesses” Minho said. “And of course, because the universe couldn’t have conspired enough against me, my ex”
“I still don’t know why you guys broke up” Felix said.
“Yeah, me neither” Jeongin shook his head.
“I just got tired of the people surrounding him. And the way they influenced him. He was one thing with me and a totally different one when he was with his friends. It was like he was embarrassed of me or something. Like they didn’t know he was gay” Minho explained.
“But they knew” You deadpanned.
“Yeah” Minho nodded. “And cherry on top, he cheated on me”
“He did?” Felix asked.
“Yeah”
“That’s horrible… well, good riddance, right?” You smiled at him.
Minho forced a smile, “Yeah… good riddance” he chuckled, unsure.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.
You grabbed your stuff and quickly pushed it inside your bag as soon as the bell rang.
“See you next week, class. Don’t forget to bring your assignments” Mr. Jackson said and left.
“Hey, do you want to go to the coffee shop next to our dorms?” Jeongin asked next to you.
“Y-“
“Hey, Y/N” a masculine voice said behind you.
You frowned as you turned around, only to find none other than Hwang Hyunjin in front of you.
You arched your eyebrows. “Uh, hello?” you said unsure.
“Can I- Can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked, fidgeting with his hands.
The man was nervous.
Strange.
You turned around and looked at your friends.
“Call us if you need us, Y/N” Felix politely smiled at Hyunjin and winked at you.
“Yeah, you guys go. I’ll catch up” you nodded.
“Okay…” Minho said unsure, grabbing Jeongin’s arm and pulling him with the rest.
You turned around and looked at Hyunjin. “…What’s up?” you asked.
“I- I was just wondering… you know, since you’re basically rocking this subject and well- you and Minho are the only ones who passed the last assignment… I was- just… wondering if you could- I don’t know, tutor me or- or something?” he asked.
You snorted, unable to help yourself. “I didn’t know you knew my name”
“Yeah, I do. We- we went to high school together” he frowned. “Why?”
“Well, you basically ignored me in high school” you shrugged. “Figured we aren’t as cool as your wolf pack over there” you nudged your head towards his friends.
Jisung smiled and waved, while Chan and Changbin made a peace sign with a nervous smile.
Hyunjin sighed. “Yeah- well, I was an asshole in high school”
“I know”
Hyunjin inwardly winced. “So… about tutoring…”
You snorted and grabbed your stuff. “Goodbye, Hyunjin” you said and left the classroom.
Hyunjin stood there, watching you walk away while his friends snorted and laughed.
“I think this is the first time I’ve seen a girl reject you” Chan laughed while Changbin cackled with his infamous laugh.
“Ha-ha” Hyunjin said humourlessly. “That wasn’t funny”
“Oh, it was” Jisung laughed. “She literally laughed in your face”
“I’m gonna fail literature and never get my degree. I wanna die” he whined dramatically as he plopped down on the chair.
Changbin rolled his eyes. “Be persistent mate. Come on. You have that charm and effect on people. Use it”
Hyunjin opened his eyes and looked at Changbin. “You say I should- like- follow her around and-“
“Yeah” Changbin nodded.
“I never beg” Hyunjin shook his head.
“Well, mate, you gotta push your ego aside if you wanna pass literature” Chan shrugged.
Hyunjin nodded. “Yeah, I know. The girl hates me though”
“I wouldn’t blame her” Jisung shook his head.
“Why’s that?” Changbin said.
“Well, me and Hyunjin were with the popular group. Who were straight up bullies” Jisung explained.
“You guys bullied Y/N?” Chan asked, his eyes widened.
“No!” Hyunjin said loudly. “No, we didn’t. I don’t want to talk about high school. It’s been ages. Let’s just… move on”
“Okay…” Chan said unsure.
“Well, what are you gonna do, Hyunjin?” Changbin asked.
Hyunjin sighed and looked at the ceiling. “I think I’m gonna continue asking her”
“Yeah, figured” Jisung nodded.
Hyunjin looked at him with a frown. “Why’s that?”
“Well, you couldn’t stop staring at her ass, for all that matters”
“Hey! I’m not attracted to her, and I’m definitely not sleeping with her” Hyunjin whined.
“Sure” Jisung nodded with a smirk. “So, about Seungmin’s…”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.
You opened the door of the café and walked inside with a scowl.
Minho looked up from their usual table and his eyes softened. “What’s up, Y/N?” he asked you.
You sat down with a huff and left your bag hanging on the back of the chair. “Nothing. This fucker just asked me to tutor him”
“The audacity” Minho rolled his eyes.
“Why’s that bad?” Felix asked, sipping on his iced tea.
“Because he’s literally the guy who made my high school life miserable!” you whined. “My life and Minho’s life”
“Oh, well, maybe he’s- you know- changed” Felix tried.
“Could be. The guy was staring at you like he was terrified” Jeongin said. “It was laughable”
“Maybe because he knows what he did” Minho added. “Typical bully attitude to get what he wants”
“I don’t know. He looked weird, though” You confessed. “Like he was nervous. He was all fidgety and awkward about it”
Felix hummed and looked down at his beverage. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It will be fine”
“Yeah, thank you, guys” You smiled at your friends.
“Don’t worry, Y/N. You got us” Jeonging winked, poking your cheek with his finger, making you laugh.
“I know. That’s why I love you guys” you smiled.
An hour passed and you and your friends were having fun, as Jeongin was telling you about his date last night.
“And then she laughs in my face, like- fully in front of me and I feel the stink in her breath. She had ordered ravioli with a cream cheese sauce that was showered with garlic” Jeongin said while you all cackled.
“Oh my God, and what did you do?” You asked.
“Nothing, I just contained my breath in and nodded at everything she said” Jeongin said. “Near death experience”
“And do you plan on texting her or something?” Minho asked.
“No, I mean, she was really cute but other than her attempted murder, we did not connect in the talking at all” Jeongin shook his head with a frown. “No way”
“Okay, let’s all look down or look like we’re in a deep conversation” Minho said, suddenly.
“What?” Felix asked, confused.
“Hyunjin just walked in” Minho replied.
Your eyes widened and Minho grabbed your arm when you were about to turn your head. “No, no, don’t turn around” he said, in front of you. “Okay, so my mother just died and we’re like- mourning or something”
“Good grief” Felix shook his head, biting on a muffin.
Hyunjin, as soon as he stepped in, started whipping his head around, trying to look for you. He saw the back of your head while you were engrossed in a conversation with your friends. He took a deep breath in and tried to collect all the courage he could muster and walked towards you.
“Oh, no, he’s coming” Felix whispered.
“Act normal” Jeongin said.
“Hey, Y/N” Hyunjin said standing in front of you.
You looked up and blinked. “Hyunjin, what are you doing here?”
“Man, my mother just died. Could you have some-”
“Minho!” Felix said, slapping his arm.
Hyunjin looked at them curiously and you huffed. “Don’t mind them. What’s up?”
“I know you said no already, and you probably don’t like me at all but I seriously need your help” Hyunjin pleaded. “You see, I need to pass literature to get my degree. Please, I’ll literally pay you, whatever you want”
You chuckled and you moved your head to the side. “Hyunjin, are you serious right now? You’ve ignored my existence since we’ve met and now, when you need something, you acknowledge me?” you snort at the end. “Sorry, not happening”
Hyunjin let out a whine and out of literally nowhere, the man dropped to his knees.
“Oh my God” Felix mumbled and looked away.
“Y/N… I’m begging you. Please, please, please. I’ll literally clean your dorm, pay for your food, I’ll buy you whatever you want, just please, please tutor me” he asked, giving you puppy eyes.
You looked into his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.
“Okay…”
“What?” Minho asked, in a high-pitched voice.
“Yeah, what?” Hyunjin asked, surprised as well.
“I’ll tutor you, just please get up. You’re embarrassing me in front of everyone” You said with a grimace.
Hyunjin quickly scrambled to his feet and nodded. “Okay, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here’s my number” he said, grabbing a pen and scribbling the number into a piece of paper and handing it to you. “Text me. We can meet tomorrow”
“Yeah, okay” you nodded slowly.
“Thank you, again, Y/N. I really appreciate it a lot. Sorry for bothering” Hyunjin said and quickly walked away.
You looked at him with a frown as he walked out of the café and then turned to look at Minho who was glaring at you.
“What?” you asked him.
“I’m just gonna ask one simple question. Are you playing stupid? Or were you just born with it?”
“Oh my God-”
“You just accepted tutoring the devil incarnate, Y/N!” Minho said dramatically.
“Did you see how he was begging on his knees? I don’t want to be as cruel as he was” you argued.
“The guy is the worst, Y/N. Come on” Minho insisted.
“I don’t know, Min. He really needed help” Felix tried. “I think it was sweet of you to give in”
“Thank you, Lix” you said sincerely.
“What if he just wants to sleep with you?” Minho asked.
“God, Minho! Hyunjin does not want to sleep with me” you laughed.
“Yo, why not?” Jeongin asked. “You would make a hot couple”
Minho faked a gag. “Please no”
“You’re into guys, wouldn’t you say he’s hot?” Jeongin asked.
“Yeah, he sure is. But he’s a horrible person so no. I don’t like him” Minho spat, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Okay. Why don’t we all calm down, hm?” Felix asked. “Y/N’s gonna be tutoring Hyunjin and we’re all going to be supportive friends and be there for her if she needs anything”
“Thank you” you mouthed and he winked.
Minho sighed and looked away.
“Just trust me. You know I wouldn’t do anything” you told him.
“Y/N, it’s not you I’m worried about. I know you’re not going to do anything. But him? Yeah, I don’t trust him” he said. Felix gave him a look and he let out a breath. “But… I’ll give it the benefit of a doubt”
“Great” Felix clapped. “Everything’s solved. Can we please go back to talking about Jeongin’s horrible date with the garlic breath girl and all?”
“Yeah” you nodded.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.
You dropped your bag on the chair next to the door of your room and sighed.
“Wanna order take out?” Minho asked from the kitchen.
“Yeah, chinese, please” you called out.
“On it!”
You dropped your body on the bed and felt the purring of one of Minho’s cats next to your head.
“Hey, Dori” you cooed, brushing your fingers across the cat’s soft fur. “You missed me?” you asked and the kitty purred. “Yeah, you did”
You grabbed your phone from your jean back pocket and the piece of paper with Hyunjin’s number fell out.
Sighing, you picked it up and after a while of thinking, you added him into your contacts.
Y/N: hey, it’s y/n
You texted him and left the phone on the bed, to stare at Dori.
The phone vibrated and you grabbed it.
Hyunjin: oh hiii
You frowned. “A hi with three ‘I’s?” you asked yourself in a whisper.
Hyunjin: what’s up?
“What’s up? God, we’re just gonna be having tutoring sessions. You don’t wanna know how I’ve been” you harshly whispered to yourself.
You: fine. Do you wanna meet tomorrow at the café me and my friends were having a hangout until you interrupted-
You sighed and pressed the delete button.
You couldn’t send him that.
You: i’m ok. you wanna meet at the same coffee shop tomorrow after english?
Hyunjin: yeah, i’m okay with it.
You: great.
You left the phone on the bed and went to help Minho while he put on the plates and silverware on the table.
“Everything okay?” Minho asked.
“Yeah, yeah. I was just texting Hyunjin” you told him. “I told him he could meet at the coffee shop from today”
“The one where he rudely interrupted us?”
“Yeah, the same one” you laughed.
He smiled and then looked down. “I’m sorry if I was harsh with you today” he said quietly.
“Oh, don’t worry, Min. I know you’re just looking out for me”
“I know. I just… we suffered a lot in high school and- well, I don’t wanna go through that again. Neither of us” he shook his head.
“Aww, are you sweet talking to me?” you cooed.
Minho dropped his soft expression and rolled his eyes. “Man, you ruined the moment. I hate you”
“No, you love me” you said and wrapped your arms around him.
“Get off” Minho said.
“You love me” you said louder.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever” he said.
The bell rang and he looked at the door. “That’s the take out. Be right back”
“Go ahead. I love you too”
“Shut up”
You giggled as you made your way back to your room and grabbed your phone. Your heartbeat started beating faster when you saw the notification from Hyunjin.
Hyunjin: see you tomorrow, y/n :)
“Fuck, you stupid heart. Stop doing that!”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.
You sighed as you tapped your nails on the wooden table from the café as you waited for Hyunjin.
He was 10 minutes late and you were so close to grabbing your stuff and fleeting out of there.
Suddenly, your eyes caught his figure being followed by a girl who was looking at him with a smile while he had a frown on his face. He said something, making the girl’s smile drop and walk away embarrassed.
You looked down and felt a weird feeling in your stomach.
Hyunjin, with a sigh, sat down on the booth bench. “Hey, I’m so, so sorry Y/N” he said, sounding tired.
You didn’t even have the heart to say something rude to him because he was late. “No worries” you breathed out. “Did something happen?”
“Oh, uh… no, it’s just this-”
“Girl?”
Hyunijn looked at you, wide-eyed and then let out a laugh. “Yeah, kind of”
“You slept with her and she wants more but you don’t want more?” you asked, feeling that curious, annoying thing on your stomach.
Hyunjin shook his head. “No, she’s uh… my ex-girlfriend” he said.
“Oh…”
“Yeah” he nodded. “We broke up a long while ago but- well, I broke up with her but she didn’t take it well”
“How long ago was that?”
“Four months ago”
“Four?” you asked and he nodded. “Fuck, that’s a long time”
“I know” he sighed.
You chewed on your lip. “Okay, we can start now. I’m sorry I asked, I just- well, you looked kind of bothered” you said.
“No, it’s okay. Y/N, thank you” he said with a little smile.
Those damn butterflies kicked inside your stomach and you inwardly rolled your eyes. You hummed and looked down at your computer.
“Right! So, the next assignment is to choose a sonnet from Shakespeare and analyze it. That means we’ll have to search, read some and well, choose the one we like the best” you told him.
“Oh God, I hate this already” he said, pressing his forehead against the table.
You giggled. “It’s not that bad. I collected a bunch for you to pick”
He pulled his head up quickly and smiled. “Really?”
“Yeah” you nodded.
“You’re the best” he smiled wider.
Fuck, that’s a pretty smile- FOCUS. “It’s nothing” you scoffed with a little smile too.
“No, really. It’s a lot. Let me see” he said and you pushed your computer towards him.
As he started scrolling through the different sonnets, his eyes couldn’t help but wander towards your face. You were looking out the window while sipping your pink drink with a sense of tranquility, something that was definitely lacking in his life. Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel his heart hammering in his chest as he admired your pretty face. He paid attention to the way you sucked on the straw of your drink and he bit his lip.
You were so attractive to him and you had no idea.
How didn’t you see it? How didn’t you notice him staring at you in high-
“You picked one yet?” you asked him, turning your head to face him.
He blinked a couple of times and nodded. “Y-yeah” he lied. “I picked one”
“Let me see” you said, grabbing the computer. Your eyes lit up and smiled at him, making him feel a flutter in his chest, something he hadn’t felt till now. “Wow, Sonnet 116. Good choice. You are one romantic guy, never thought of that”
His eyes narrowed, confusedly and then nodded. “Yeah… I guess you didn’t know that about me, huh?” he joked.
Hyunjin was in fact a very romantic guy himself, he loved cliché stuff and, whenever he painted, he tried to symbolize love as much as he could. He would paint red roses very often, thinking they symbolize an act of love, sensualism and mysticism. Hyunjin loved romantic comedies and he always cried with them.
But that was a secret he kept well hidden.
“Well, this one you picked is very beautiful” you said with a smile and he couldn’t help but reciprocate it. “Let Me Not to The Marriage of True Minds is one of his most famous works”
Hyunjin immediately took out his computer and started typing whatever you said.
“We can read it together” you said, pushing the computer so he could see it.
He nodded and you started reading some lines and explaining them to him.
Hyunjin stared at you attentively and tried to focus, he really did. But his stupid brain and heart had teamed up to sabotage this study session, because they were focused on you. You, you, you. Then, his eyes couldn’t help but go down as he took in what you were wearing.
Fuck, how did he not notice? You were wearing a black top that had a low cut and it gave a good view of your breasts, as your arms pushed them together due to your inclined position on the table. His mind started racing with different dirty thoughts of what he’d do to you if they weren’t in a crowded café. Hyunjin noticed you were wearing a lace black bra and it made him wanna grab-
“He’s basically saying that true love is not changeable, no matter the length of time” you explained, bringing him back to earth.
Hyunjin quickly typed, trying to convince you he was paying attention.
“He is so certain about his definition of love that, if proven wrong, then he was sure he had never loved anyone” you finished.
“Wow…” Hyunjin said. “That’s… beautiful”
“I know” you giggled. “Well, we have to, basically, do an analysis of it”
“Okay, how do we start?”
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Hyunjin pressed the point button on his laptop and sighed. “Fucking finally” he said.
“It wasn’t that bad, you gotta admit that” you smiled.
He had to admit, he did enjoy literature after all. “Yeah, it was actually interesting. Maybe I should’ve asked you for help a long time ago” he confessed.
“Well, that means you would’ve acknowledged my existence, which you didn’t until… yesterday” you said with a shrug.
That’s a lie, Hyunjin thought. “I… I’m sorry” he said and he mentally slapped himself.
“It’s okay. I’m used to it. Really” you said.
He frowned. He didn’t like the sound of that. He was about to open his mouth when you cursed.
“Fuck! Look at the hour, it’s almost eight” you cursed.
Hyunjin looked out the window and noticed how dark it had gotten. “Right, wow. I didn’t even notice” he mumbled as he looked at his phone.
“Yeah, me neither” you chuckled, putting all your stuff away.
Hyunjin frowned as he didn’t like the fact that this session was over and you’d probably go back to ignoring each other like you did.
“Hey, uh… do you wanna go back to my place? Like… to hang out” he said.
You arched your eyebrows. “Why?”
“Well, to be honest, I could pay you back with some take out. Whatever you want. My roommate, Chan, is out for the day with his girlfriend so I'm gonna be home alone” Hyunjin explained.
You leaned your head to the side. “Are you inviting me because you feel bad for me or because you don’t wanna be alone?”
None, I just wanna be with you. “Both, I guess?”
You chuckled and looked away. “Hyunjin-”
“Please?” he asked.
You looked at him again and then sighed. “Fine. But we’re ordering chinese”
“Deal” he smiled, satisfied.
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“She did that?” You asked him as soon as you and him walked inside his dorm.
“Yep. And then she basically threatened Lily, my friend’s girlfriend, to stay away from me because she was jealous” Hyunijn explained.
“Oh my God” you mumbled. “That’s borderline obsessive”
“Yeah, I know” he said, dropping his stuff on the couch, “You can drop your stuff and sit here, I’ll order take out” Hyunjin whipped his phone out and started clicking on the delivery app.
You did the same and noticed there were a few notifications from your group chat with your friends.
<Besties!!>
Min 🐈: hey, you alive bestie?
Min 🐈: did you kill hyunjin? I’d be delighted if your answer was yes. I’d even help you bury the body
Innie 💛: min shut up
Min 🐈: what?
Lixie☀️: i think you’re overreacting a little
Min 🐈: i think i’m not
You chuckled and quickly typed your answer back.
You: I’m okay, you guys. calm down!!
You: i’m at his place.
Innie 💛: excuse me?
Lixie☀️: say what?
Min 🐈: oh my god, I think i’m gonna faint
You: shut up. he invited me and ordered chinese as my payment, i happily accepted bc u know i’d never decline chinese 😀
You sighed. You knew Minho would never approve of this, he’d scold the hell out of you.
Lixie☀️: okay, take care y/n.
Innie 💛: pls text us if anything happens!
Min 🐈: yeah that
You: i will, thx! love u guys
“Okay, it’s on its way. Want a drink or something?” Hyunjin brought you back to reality and you quickly turned off your phone.
“Oh, uh… what do you have?” you asked him.
“I have wine… coke, water”
“I could have some wine” you smiled.
“Great” he said and took it out from the cupboards.
You walked towards the kitchen and sat down on the stools, feeling your hands get sweaty from the nervousness you felt.
“So… did your friends roast me via text?” Hyunjin asked. You pulled your face back and he chuckled. “I know you were texting them. You looked really stressed out explaining this situation to them”
You sighed and looked away. “Yeah, uh… I think it’s not news that they don’t like you” you chuckled humourlessly.
He nodded. “I don’t think you do either” he said. He hoped that was untrue.
“Well. I had my reasons” you said.
Hyunjin frowned. “Had?”
“Yeah, well, I think you weren’t just as bad as I thought” you confessed.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, you did ignore me in high school” you told him. “And you were friends with the people that made my life a living hell, while you stood there, watching”
He was about to say something but the bell rang. “That must be the delivery guy. Be right back”
He walked away from the kitchen and you put your head in your hands. What were you doing?
Hyunjin came back really fast and he placed the food on the plates, wordlessly, while you just stared.
Great, you ruined the whole mood.
You started eating and the silence was so loud, you wanted to fleet out the door.
“I didn’t ignore you” Hyunjin suddenly spoke.
You looked up and gave him a confused look. “What?”
“I didn’t ignore you. In high school, I mean” he repeated himself. “I was just hanging out with the wrong crowd, and I admit that. I just wanted you to know that I did know you who you were. I didn’t know you attended this uni, though”
You analyzed his words and expressions. He sounded sincere.
“I… it’s funny, actually. I had a huge crush on you” he said in a small voice.
Now, hold up.
“What?” you asked him with a frown.
“Yeah” he laughed. “You were really cute and just my type. But as I said, I hung out with the wrong crowd and it repelled people like you, fairly. And I wanted to be popular, because it was like a dream and it felt like being powerful but then I understood that it was stupid and there’s literally not a day in which I don’t regret hanging out with those people”
You blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out if this was a figment of your imagination.
“So, I deeply apologize” Hyunjin said in a small voice.
You nodded. “Okay… I uh… I did not know that” you chuckled nervously.
“No, you didn’t have to,” he said. “Really, I’m sorry, Y/N. If it… helps or whatever, I did want to defend you when they said those things to you and your friends. I was just too afraid to say anything, honestly”
“Afraid they’d do it to you” you said.
“Yeah, basically”
You hummed and licked your lips, deep in thought. “I had a crush on you too back in high school” you suddenly said.
His eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yeah” you chuckled. “Even if I hated you, I couldn’t… help it”
“Wow…”
“I never told anyone about this” you chuckled. “Not even Minho”
“Oh God, he hates me so much” he said, making you laugh.
“Yeah, well, you’re friends with Jisung, so…” you said.
He frowned. “What’s up with him anyways?”
You looked up in surprise. “Jisung cheated on Minho”
He looked really surprised to hear that. “What?” Hyunjin asked in a high pitched voice. “No, that’s not it. I mean, yeah, he accused him of cheating but Jisung didn’t do that”
“Yeah, well, that’s what Minho told me. Back at prom” you told him.
“Okay, that’s weird because Jisung did not attend prom” he said.
Your eyes widened. “What do you mean he didn’t go to prom? He said he found Jisung kissing other guy” you frowned.
“Yeah, no. Jisung’s grandfather had passed away the day before so he had to travel overnight to his hometown” Hyunjin said.
“Oh wow” you mumbled. “Well, then we’ll have to tell them and maybe…”
“Get them together again?” Hyunjin asked, with a little shrug.
“Yeah” you giggled. “You know, as much as Minho talks about hating him and all… I think he’s never really gotten over Jisung. He still keeps the necklace he gifted him and the collar he made for Soonie”
“Jisung’s never gotten over him either. He likes to gag at the mention of him but he still has that shirt, you know, the one they shared of-”
“Oh my God, from that Cat Café? The one that says-”
“Cat Café Lovers? Yeah, that one” Hyunjin laughed.
You chuckled and looked away. “Gosh, that was peak cringe from them”
“Yeah”
The chatter continued. You talked about everything and anything. It was like you both needed this talk from a long time ago, and you didn’t know it.
After eating everything and helping him with the dishes, you looked at the clock and gasped.
“Oh shit, it’s eleven. Fuck” you whispered. “I gotta go, I’m sorry”
“Oh…” Hyunjin said, sounding disappointed. “It’s okay, don’t worry”
He walked you to the door and opened it. He leant against the frame and watched you put your bag on your shoulder and look up at him.
“Thank you for the food… and the talk” you smiled.
“No, thank you. I’ll probably get an A from what we did” he chuckled. “You’re very smart and very kind to help me… even after everything I did”
“It’s alright” you nodded. “And you apologized, so, we’re good”
“Yeah…” he said. “I actually lied” he suddenly blurted.
You frowned. “What… did you lie about?”
He swallowed nervously and looked down at his feet. “I did like you in high school but… I didn’t stop”
You pulled your face back in utter shock.
Say what?
“I… seeing you the other day. It made me realize I didn’t stop liking you after all” he chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I thought you were really cute back then but, seeing you now, I see you got even more beautiful and it kills me that I did what I did. And I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable by saying this but- well, I just thought I could tell you because-” he started rambling and you felt a rush of confidence to shut him up.
Shut him up by kissing him. Hard.
Your kiss shocked him but he was quick to grab your waist and pull you against his chest.
You pulled away and smiled at him. “I like you too, Hyunjin. Even if you suck at literature and stare at my tits the whole time I’m explaining a Shakespeare sonnet to you” you told him against his lips and he blushed.
“Okay, that’s-”
You giggled and pressed your lips against his once again, making him groan. He pushed you inside his dorm again, closing the door with his foot. Your bag dropped to the floor and he put his hands under your legs, hoisting you up in the air, making you wrap your legs around his waist.
Hyunjin led you to his room and then laid you down on his bed, all while literally devouring your mouth with his tongue deep, stroking yours.
He pulled away to kiss your neck and you arched your back, mewling and clawing at his clothed back.
“Hyunjinnie…” you sighed, combing your fingers through his hair.
“Fuck, Y/N” he whispered, biting on your skin. He pulled away and stared at you. “You are so beautiful”
You smiled shyly at him and when he went to kiss your neck again, you stopped him by pulling his hair.
“What?” he asked, caressing your waist.
“I just uh…”
“You a virgin?” he asked.
“No! No, no. I uh had my fair share of hook ups… but I am not like the most experienced so please-” he silenced you with a kiss, moving his hands under your shirt.
“You-” kiss. “-are perfect-” kiss. “Don’t worry, baby” he whispered and went to kiss you again.
Hyunjin pressed kisses on your neck down to your stomach, over your shirt until he reached the belt of your jeans. He made quick work of taking off your shoes and your belt.
You helped him kick your jeans off and he stared at your panties.
His eyebrow arched, as he looked at your laced black panties. “I wanted to feel sexy” you shrugged innocently.
He tugged on your legs, making you yelp. “Come here” he growled, kissing your lips as his hands groped your breasts through your shirt. “I’m gonna eat you out until you’re shaking, is that okay?”
You shivered at his tone and his honesty. “I…”
“Has anyone ever done that before?” he asked. You shook your head ‘no’, giving him doe eyes. “What kind of dumb men did you date? Who wouldn’t want to do that?”
He didn’t even give you time to answer, because he took off your panties quickly and shoved your legs open.
“Fuck, look at that. You’re so wet, baby” he whispered, smirking at you.
“God, do something, Hyune” you moaned, arching your back.
He chuckled at your desperation and swiped his fingers over your drenched entrance, making you whimper. He dragged those soaked fingers over his tongue and sucked them clean. As soon as he finished, Hyunjin crawled over you and kissed you, inserting his tongue inside your mouth, making your nails dig into his shoulders as you tasted yourself.
He pulled away and panted as he looked at you. “Do you feel how good you taste?” he asked and didn’t even give you time to answer as he dropped a quick peck on your lips and went down to eat you out.
Hyunjin’s tongue dragged over your core over and over and all you could do was hold onto the sheets desperately. He inserted his fingers and scissored them as he licked over your sensitive clit in a circle motion.
Your hands went to his hair and started pulling, making him mewl against your cunt. You pushed his head against your cunt, making his nose press against your clit as his tongue licked over you.
He had you cum on your tongue two times and then, he pressed a kiss over your pubic bone when he was finished, definitely leaving your legs shaking in pleasure, just like he had promised. He wiped his face with his sleeve and then grabbed the back of his tee, pulling it over his head, letting you admire his toned body.
Your hands immediately brushed over his torso and his abs contracted, feeling the goosebumps run all over his body. He pressed his chest against yours and kissed you again, really soft and sweet.
“How was that?” he whispered against your lips.
“Fucking mindblowing” you whispered, making him smirk.
“Can I take this off?” he asked, fidgeting with the end of your shirt.
You smirked. “I think you tortured yourself long enough at the café staring at me. Go ahead” you giggle.
He giggled back and pecked your lips and then pressed a kiss to your cleavage. “I couldn’t help it” he murmured and then grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. He stared at your black lacy bra, his hand going under you to grab at the clasp.
You didn’t let him, arching your back at taking it off yourself, exposing your tits to him.
His hands immediately grabbed them and pushed his face towards them, enveloping one of your nipples inside his mouth and sucking. You arched your back and moaned, gripping his hair tightly with your fingers. He sucked one and then another, then, pushed them together and licked over them.
“Fuck, Hyunjin, I need you to fuck me” you whispered.
“Okay, okay, fuck” he said, giving one of your tits one last suck and then leaned up on his knees, trying to take off his belt as fast as he could.
You helped him kick off his jeans and saw his erection straining against the fabric of his Calvin Klein’s. It was big already and when he hooked a finger on the hem and pulled them down, your eyes widened.
His dick slapped against his stomach and his hand went down to stroke himself.
He knelt on the bed and pushed himself to brace himself over you while looking for a condom. Hyunjin took it out and put it on quickly, and then went back to brush the tip over your entrance, making your nails dig against his forearms.
One of his big hands gripped your thigh and the other one held his cock to push it inside you. Once he did, you arched your back and he let out a choked moan.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, Y/N. And so wet, shit” he whispered against your neck and then he kissed the hot, sweaty skin.
“Fuck, Hyune” you moaned.
“Yeah, keep chanting my name like that” he whispered, moving his hips as he hit your cervix over and over.
You let out a little yelp every time he hit that sweet spot and one of his hands went to one of your breasts, brushing over your nipple and pinching it every now and then.
He licked over your ear and pulled on your earlobe. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” he whispered. “So fucking long, baby”
You put your leg over his shoulder, making him go deeper and pulling a moan from both of you.
His fingers found your clit, and as he rubbed it in a circle motion, it made you get closer and closer towards your orgasm.
You bit at his neck and moaned. “I think I’m gonna come, Hyune”
“Yeah?” he groaned. “Fucking come, then”
Your cunt gripped him tightly, making him groan and thrust even harder. You arched your back against Hyunjn’s chest and came around his length, feeling your vision go white and like you were about to pass out from the amount of pleasure the man on top of you was making you feel.
You barely noticed how he was losing control, as his thrust became sloppier. With a choked moan, he emptied himself inside the condom, his hands gripping the mattress tightly and then with a sigh, he collapsed on top of you, completely spent and satisfied.
Your arms wrapped around him tightly as he panted against your neck.
“That was-”
“Amazing, fucking amazing” he whispered against your neck.
You giggled and combed your fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp.
Hyunjin lifted his head and smiled at you. “You are so pretty”
“Thank you. You are very pretty, too” you said shyly and he blushed. “You blushing?”
He let his head drop against your chest and mumbled, “Shut up”
“You definitely are” you giggled.
“Shut up!”
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After he let you use your shower (in which he may or may not have sneaked in and ate you out against the tiles), you changed into one of his shirts and wandered around his room. You saw the canvases that laid on the desk and smiled as you saw the amazing drawings and paintings he did.
“Wow… you did this?” you asked him over your shoulder.
“Yeah” he said shyly, brushing the towel over his wet hair. “They’re not the greatest-”
“They’re not? I think they’re museum-worthy, are you kidding?” you chuckled. “The way you painted that rose, wow”
He chuckled and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you. “I feel so at peace with you, Y/N” he whispered against your neck.
You smiled and put your hands over his arms. “Me too, Hyunjin” you whispered, kissing his skin. “Me too”
“You have practice tomorrow at the studio right?” he asked.
“Yeah, we have that super difficult R&B choreo” you sighed.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yeah”
Hyunjin started thinking about a little something in silence and then spoke up. “Do you want me to change classes?”
You frowned and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“So that we can practice together. Maybe that’s the reason I never saw you here. Because we never got to practice together”
You let out a little laugh. “You’re crazy, Hyune”
“Yeah, crazy about you” he said and kissed your cheek with a loud kiss sound.
You giggled and shook your head. “Oh, fine. Change classes”
“Yay” he whispered. “What do you usually wear for practice?”
“Leggings…”
“Oh, it’s gonna be amazing, I’m so sure of it. I’m gonna have so much fun” he smirked.
“Hyunjin!”
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You and Hyunjin woke up with a loud buzzing noise coming from the night stand.
Hyunjin from behind you groaned and pressed his face harder against your neck. “What’s that, babe?”
“It’s just my phone, hun” you whispered as you grabbed it and looked at the ID of the call. “Hello, Min?”
“Where are you, bitch?”
“Huh?” you asked, surprised at his tone.
“You don’t come home, then you don’t show up at history, and you’re not here at the cafeteria” Minho said.
Your eyes widened and you sat up, looking at the hour. 10:04.
“Shit!” you yelled. “Hyunjin, we overslept!” you yelled, grabbing at his arm and shaking him.
“Hm?” he asked, confused.
“Hyunjin, wake up! We need to get to my dorm to change and then go to the studio! Come on!” you yelled, jumping off the bed and searching for your clothes frantically. “Where the hell did you throw my socks?”
Hyunjin took his sweet time sitting up on the bed and stretching his muscles. He scratched his eyes and blinked a couple of times. His head turned to the clock on the nightstand and his eyes widened.
“Holy shit, it’s 10 AM” he said, and jumped off the bed.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” you yelled back as you ran towards the bathroom to brush your teeth in your bra, jeans and only one sock on your feet.
Hyunjin quickly dressed while you brushed your teeth. He combed his hair with his hands quickly and saw you get out of the bathroom, looking around for your shirt.
“What are you searching for?” he asked you.
“My shirt! I don’t know where you threw it. And my socks” you said, looking everywhere.
“Here, use one of mine” Hyunjin tossed you a shirt. “You look better in them”
You grabbed it and looked at it. “Thank you” you said in a small, shy voice and quickly pulled it over your frame. “My socks”
“Oh, here” he said. “I found them” he smiled.
“Thanks”
Hyunjin grabbed his stuff and smiled at you again. “Let’s go?”
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You and Hyunjin ran through the hallways, panting.
“To the right!” you yelled and quickly turned with Hyunjin following suit.
“There you are!” Minho suddenly appeared in front of you just as you turned the corner, with Felix and Jeongin behind him.
“FUCK! Minho!” you yelled. “You scared me!”
He was staring at you and Hyunjin with a frown. “Okay… please tell me that you are wearing his shirt because he clumsily dropped wine on it and those marks on your neck are just mosquito bites” he said calmly.
Your eyes widened and quickly slapped your hand over your neck, as you looked at Hyunjin with a glare. He just shrugged.
“I think I’m gonna faint” Minho said, grabbing his heart, dramatically.
Felix rolled his eyes and sighed. “Let’s go, guys. We have practice in two minutes” he said with a smile.
You followed them and Hyunjin did too. “I’m gonna ask my professor to… do what I told you, okay?” he asked, grabbing your shoulder.
“Okay” you nodded.
Hyunjin pressed a kiss to your lips and walked away the other way. You stared at him and then your eyes darted to your friends who were wide-eyed staring at you.
“No comments, okay?”
“Oh, no, you come here and tell everything!” Jeongin giggled excitedly.
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After practice, you sat with your friends at the café, telling them everything.
“It was like I had been wrong about him my whole life” you told them, after you finished.
“Wow, Y/N, he sounds like he really likes you” Felix smiled.
“He does” you nodded. “Hell, he liked me in high school? I did not expect to hear that”
“Yeah, no one did” Jeongin shook his head.
You looked at Minho and sighed. “Could you be supportive about this?” you pleaded your friend, pressing your hands together.
“What happened with the I’m not gonna sleep with him, he doesn’t wanna sleep with me thing? You bumped your head against a wall and forgot about it?” Minho asked.
“No, we just had a really good conversation in which he apologized and well… I kissed him” You confessed.
“Hold up, you kissed him?” Felix asked.
“Yep… oh! I have news about Jisung” you gasped, looking at Minho.
He looked up and his eyes widened. “What? What do you know?” he asked.
You smirked. “It was a misunderstanding, Min” you told him.
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Of course he’d defend his friend. I mean, what can you expect from him?” he laughed, humourlessly.
“He told me that he didn’t even attend prom” you told him and Minho pulled his face back.
“What?”
“Uh… a little context please?” Jeongin asked.
“So, basically, Minho saw what he thought was Jisung at prom kissing some other dude. They fought, they broke up, the end. But Hyunjin told me that Jisung did not go to prom, his grandfather had died the night prior and he had to rush to his hometown” you told him.
“Wow…” Felix said. “That’s- Minho, what do you think?”
“I think I need to go” he said and grabbed his stuff quickly. “Uh, sorry. Thank you for telling me, I’ll be right back”
You three watched as Minho left the cafeteria in a rush and then looked at each other.
“You think they’ll get back together?” Jeongin asked.
“I think so” you smiled. “They aren’t over each other. At all”
Felix smiled. “I can’t believe he has refused to date anyone this past year because he is still hung up on him”
“Yep. Their relationship was really intense and they loved each other very much” you smiled. “Hell, he still keeps lots of things from him at the dorm. I just pretend I don’t see them but they’re there”
“Like what?” Jeongin asked.
“You know that necklace Minho always wears?” you asked.
“Yeah, the one with the cat- No!” Felix suddenly gasped.
“Yeah, that one was a gift from Jisung” you giggled. “And then the collar that Soonie has, is a gift from Jisung as well”
“Oh my God” Jeongin said. “He talks a lot about hating him and now I realize he does not hate him at all”
“No” you chuckled.
“Okay, I’m having a deja vu” Felix sighed.
You frowned and turned around, finding Hyunjin running towards you. You couldn’t help the smile that ran across your face. “Hey!”
“Hi, good news!” he smiled and sat down on the empty seat where Minho was. “Where’s Minho?” he asked, realizing he wasn’t there anymore.
You and your friends smirked. “He went to search for the love of his life” Jeongin said, arching his eyebrows.
Hyunjin looked confused and you just chuckled. “I’ll tell you later”
“Okay” he nodded. “They let me change classes” he smiled.
“Really?” you gasped. “That’s great!”
“You’re practicing with us?” Felix asked.
“Yeah!”
“That’s awesome, man” Jeongin smiled.
Hyunjin smiled. “I know, I’ll get to practice with my pretty girl” he said, smirking at you.
You groaned when you felt your friends starting to poke at your sides and make annoying noises at you. “Stop it!” You groaned.
“Y/N’s in love” they started singing.
Hyunjin could only chuckle and shake his head.
He felt his phone buzz and he took it out. He read the message on his phone and frowned.
You noticed his expression. “What’s up, hun?” you asked.
“Why is Jisung texting me: Minho just kissed me?”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.
Two weeks later…
You and Hyunjin sat next to each other and he fiddled with his hands nervously. You put your hand over his fingers and smiled, with a chuckle.
“Hyunjin, oh my God, calm down! It’s just an assignment” you told him.
“Yeah, I know” he sighed. “It’s just that I need to pass literature or-”
“You won’t get your degree, you told me already, yeah” you giggled.
Mr. Jackson came over with the assignments and stared at Hyunjin. He gave him a curious look adn then left the paper on his desk with a sigh.
“Here’s your work, Mr. Hwang. And yours Miss Y/L/N” he said, dropping yours on your table.
Hyunjin took a look at the paper and gasped. “I got an A!”
“Me too” you smiled excitedly. “See? I told you you were going to pass”
“I know, but it’s all thanks to you” he said, grabbing your hand and kissing it a couple of times. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you now”
You looked at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You won’t have to wonder now” you said and giggled.
Your eyes darted to the couple in front of you and sighed.
“Ever since they got back, they won’t stop making out, it’s disgusting” you said to him.
“Hell, we are clingy and we don’t go making out like that” Hyunjin said.
Minho pulled away and looked at him. “That’s a lie, Hwang. Yesterday, I got scarred for life finding you naked on top of my best friend”
“Yeah, I got traumatized too” Jisung said next to him.
“Hey, the happy couples at the back!” Mr. Jackson called out.
“Sorry” you all four said in unison.
You and Hyunjin turned your head to the side and found Chan and Changbin mocking you, pretend-kissing each other while making faces. Hyunjin threatened to throw his pencil case while you laughed at them. Hyunjin looked down at your smiley face and his heart doubled its size. Maybe literature hadn’t been so bad after all.
Thank you, literature.
#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#hwang hyunjin#stray kids#skz smut#skz imagines#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin smut
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hi there!! i was wondering if you can do a fic or some hcs on daryl x trans male reader?? sfw or nsfw is up to you i just love the way you write daryl and wanted to see your take on him being with a trans partner :3
doesnt change a thing.
daryl & trans bf!
SO. SORRY. FOR. DYING. im gonna try and respond to some more reqs :( also for those who didnt know i mean ive never said it but i am trans ftm :p
in my head, he wouldnt even have a CLUE you were trans. daryl isnt the type to be in other peoples business or trying to guess what the fucks in your pants- at the end of the day, if he likes you he likes you.
and he likes you.
of course, being trans, you didnt know how to iust spring the info on him. daryl was what you thought a pretty typical redneck- but he was attracted to you- so hes not that conservative. but you were scared that there was still room for him to judge you.
as ive said before, daryl and you would take your relationship slow. youd dance around your feelings for a while, and so when you guys get more comfortable kissing, you just rip the bandaid off.
"daryl," he has to crane his neck to catch your words the way you're mumbling them, "i got something to say."
he shifts on his feet, setting his crossbow down. daryl recognizes the shift in your tone and prepares himself for the worst. what- you were tired of him now? realizes daryls just another piece of shit youve gotta string along? he grows more anxious at the thought, more agitated.
"i get it, y'know, if you feel different after this," the way youre pulling away is not helping his suspicions, "but ill just say this shit, alright? dee, im trans. i was... i was born a girl."
you watch as his eyebrows furrow in confusion, processing what you've said.
"the hell?" his voice is gruff, scoffing a little, "thats the shit thats made you all cracked out?"
his hand shyly comes up to tug you forward, already missing the contact, "doesnt change a thing for me."
he doesnt completely understand it though. youve him tucked under your arm when he perks up a little. "so you dont have a dick?"
you cant help the laugh that escapes you, fond of the older man. "mm, no. i wish."
he shrugs, laying back down as he tries to surreptitiously steal a glance down at your lap. "that sucks. having a dick is pretty nice."
when it comes to dysphoria, i think he would have the perfect way to trying to soothe you. as you open up about not feeling like a real man- or just overall having bad days- he's quick to approach you, calloused hands cradling your face. "youre the only man in my life. the best guy i know, alright?"
and you dont really realize what hes getting at: his dad was his first masculine figure in his life but he was a terrible guy. merle was better, kinda, but was still always leaving daryl hanging. but whens he with you, he feels safe, cared for, important, needed. its what you needed to hear.
again im sosososo sorry this is late ☹️
#daryl dixon x male reader#daryl dixon#darylxmalereader#kissesfordaryl#the walking dead#twd daryl#daryl dixon imagines#the walking dead daryl#daryl dixon drabbles#bottom daryl dixon#ftm reader#trans ftm
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nothing in return ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
ღ sypnosis: where do you go when your bf sucks? here’s the answer: your best friends face!
ღ an: heard this and my fingers just began typing (but i really don’t like it now…oh well!) also cheater!reader x bsf!eren.
ღ cw: cheating ( don’t cheat irl, it’s not cute!!), smut, face riding, slight fingers, oral (f!recieving), your bf sucks!! and i think that’s it.
knocking on eren’s door, tears steady ran down your face, and when he opened it seeing your somber state, he pulled you in his arms, “what happened?”
“my boyfriend..he- he was just…so mean and so…ugh!” eren sat you down on his bed, handing you a soft tissue to wipe your eyes, “what did he do?”
“he wanted to hang out right? so i said ‘yeah okay!’ cause we haven’t did hung out in a while and literally after like 20 minutes he wanted to have sex…at first i didn’t want to, but then i gave in cause we haven’t t did it in a while…but he kept like- made it seem like and feel it was for him and his needs, like my wants or my needs didn’t matter,” eren’s fist balled up and you could feel him tensing up in anger beside you, “so i just got up and left and here we are…i feel dirty, can i- uh, can i shower here?”
“yeah, yeah, i’ll grab you some clothes…” since you’ve been here plenty of times, you went to his shower and left eren in his room, who was currently pissed.
he felt like ever since you’ve been in a relationship with that dickhead, you’ve become…distant. and while yeah he respected your relationship of course, he still missed the hangouts you two would always have, such as the late night drives to god knows where, random roadtrips out of town, hotboxing in his car…
…and overall he missed his bestfriend.
he heard the shower creaked off and your wet footsteps splat across his floor as you walked out the bathroom towards eren, standing in-front of him-only in your pink towel, “where are the clothes?” eren stared deeply at your figure: from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes and he thought you looked breathtaking in your shower glow, and you notice his eyes flickering everywhere but your face.
the more he silently admired your body, the more hot and bothered you were becoming. you looked directly into his eyes, biting your nails in nervousness, “the…the clothes eren?”
“the what?”
“clothes for tonight? i thought you were gonna give me…some…” you trailed off, seeing him stand up towering over your frame. your face heats up and you look down at your feet in embarrassment, hearing him chuckle, “they were in the bathroom?”
“oh! shit i must didn’t see them, my bad..” you backed away slow, running in the bathroom seeing the garments dead smack in your face, “how the fuck did i not see them.” scoffing in astonishment you put the clothes on: a tee and some shorts, with fuzzy socks “remember y/n, you have a boyfriend, a loving boyfriend.”
you walked back out, repeating that same mantra in your head which faded out once you stood right back in front of eren, seeing him once again unashamedly staring right at your tits. he noticed pierced with a cute pink bow nipple ring, “when did you get those?”
“uhh..2 months ago- they’re still sensitive though , hah,” eren massaged your left nipple, “uhh…why’re you..?” hearing sounds of shshes coming from eren’s mouth and a finger over his lips. he’s other hand went to your right tit, massaging it roughly and your felt pleasure fill your body, “e-eren. we shouldn’t be doing this you know…i have-
“a man? a man who doesn’t even give two shits about you.” he pulled your waist down to his laps, letting you straddle him, “but me? i would never leave you unsatisfied,” his words whispered on your lips, the both of you’ve yet to pull away, wondering who was gonna pull the first (well second) move.
he smirked seeing your appalled face now forming into a small grin, enjoying his massages, one has move your chin to look down at him, connecting your lips in a soft kiss.
“remember the times we used to…kiss like this, hmm?” he mumbled on your lips, seeing that look in your eye as you remembered the time you’d make out with him in the backseat of his car, for hours…
“but eren we…really shouldn’t be doing this,” he felt your breath on his lip and chuckled, “yeah, we really…really shouldn’t…
“f-fuck, just like that…” and now here you were, moving your hips in a rhythmic motion against erens mouth had you seeing stars. the silent vibrations from your phone going ignored by the both of you, too lost in the pleasure to notice it.
eren looked up at you through his hooded eyes, seeing one hand holding your tits up, and the other held on to the top of the bed rail tightly. your lips making an “o” shape once his tongue poked slightly inside your warm, wet pussy. muffled moans from his mouth vibrated against you and you bit your bottom lip harshly, holding back a long drastic high pitched moan.
eren sat you up some to catch a small breath, only to plop you right back down rubbing his tongue in various motions against your clit and carefully inserted two fingers inside your core simultaneously, and you felt like couldn’t hold it in anymore. “e-erennn i can’t take it, please-,”
your pleas and whimpers fell short on deaf ears, eren still not letting up off you, he was sure to make sure you felt satisfied, “c’mom baby, keep riding,” he stuck his tongue out laid flat and helped you moved your hips against it, that numbing feeling you’ve always felt starting to become more apparent.
your stomach burned in pleasure, your legs and thighs were aching, and yet eren couldn’t stop licking and slurping up your slick, your disgruntled moans were high pitched once you felt reached fhat tipping point, squirting all over his face…
…and yet eren didn’t stop.
in fact he kept making out with your sloppy cunt enjoyably, and and it seemed like you’d both be at it all night…
meanwhile your actual boyfriend, who was still salty you left him blue-balled, was steady blowing up your phone with calls and texts wondering where you, and checked your location…
only to see your red dot erens house. he wondered why you were there so late at night, so he drove over there, and once he arrived he saw two shadowed figures clearly fucking from a the huge window and saw your cute small honda accord out in the driveway.
he dialed your number again and again and again, going straight to voicemail and sighed in his hands, deciding to end the relationship over one measly text, and when eren saw the said text he chuckled, mumbling in you ear:
“now i can keep you to myself…”
ღ an: ooh lord…idk if imma ever write smut again this was STRESSFUL!!
#eren x reader#aot x y/n#eren x black fem!reader#aot smut#prncessfics ⋆ ˚。⋆#eren jaeger x reader#smut#eren yeager#eren smut#you cheat but it’s okay!!#aot x black reader#eren aot#attack on titan#aot fanfiction#eren x black reader#aot x black y/n#aot x reader#eren yaeger x reader
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-> Part 2
**NOW WITH ART!
(Everyone go shower @stervrucht with love & reblogs because she is a treasure to this fandom and her generosity knows no bounds🖤thank-you bestie!)
AO3 | WC: 7.8k | Rated: E | CW: Internalized homophobia, references to the death of a parent, lots of swearing and general vulgarity from the both of them. Drug usage. Discussions of trading sex acts for drugs. Billy being an asshole but hey what’s new. | Tags: ADHD Eddie Munson, Semi-closeted Eddie, Fully-closeted Billy, One-Sided Steddie (or is it? We don’t know because of unreliable narrator reasons) Bully Billy Hargrove, Bullied Eddie Munson, Coming In Pants, Dry Humping, Eddie calls Billy ‘m’lord’ in here god help him, Happy Ending, some angst sprinkled throughout, but overall quite fluffy.
(Title is inspired by a song of the same name by Chromeo.)
Summary:
“I’ll cut you a deal, Munson,” Billy says, his icy-pop blue eyes and dark lashes illuminated by the end of his stolen cigarette. “I’ll let you have something. Y’know, as payment.”
But pretty as Billy is, Eddie’s no sucker. “I don’t do trades either.”
“You’re gonna wanna hear this trade.” Billy exhales a cloud of white smoke between them.
Eddie doubts it, but the sooner he hears it the sooner he can shoot it down. “Spit it out then.”
Billy Hargrove stands there, half-smirk on his face, hips tilted forward. Like he’s God’s fucking gift. “I’ll let you suck my dick.”
And that.
Well.
Eddie isn’t exactly sure what he was expecting but it sure as hell isn’t that.
Or, Billy tries to pay for drugs by offering to let Eddie blow him.
Of all the mugs Eddie expects to see in his neck of the woods, the one attached to Billy Hargrove, resident bad boy slash heartthrob with a notoriously short fuse and a mean right hook, is not one of ‘em.
The fact that he’s alone isn’t much of a comfort, but it’s… well, it’s something. It means if Billy’s planning on jumping him and stealing his stash, then at least Eddie’s got a shot at running and actually getting away with all his teeth intact.
Eddie sucks back on his cigarette, grateful he has something to do with his fidgeting hands as he eyes Hargrove’s approach. Tries his best to keep still—something he’s always been absolute dog shit at. Even as a little kid. They tossed words at him like Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyperactivity ’til the cows came home. Never changed anything, though. Mom always just called it ants in his pants. For Uncle Wayne, it was worms up his butt. All said in love, of course. Eddie was ant and worm-free, far as he knew. Just had a lot of energy is all. And a lot to say too. That isn’t a crime! But right now, under Billy Hargrove’s slow approach, he tries his damndest to get all his ants and his worms to settle down. No sudden moves in front of ticking time bombs.
“You’re Munson, right?” Hargrove asks in a low, slightly nasally voice. He’s stopped a few feet from the picnic table that Eddie’s perched on, his canister of goodies sitting unassumingly beside him.
Eddie fights his nerves—bulldozes over them, more like, and smiles wide, holding out his arms in a display of showmanship. “The one and only.”
Billy scoffs as his eyes travel around the clearing. Doesn’t seem too impressed by the ol’ Munson razzle-dazzle. “You alone out here?” he asks, eyes finally returning to Eddie’s.
Eddie shifts, leaning forward slightly—literally on edge. Why the hell did he have to say that so fucking ominously? “I was ‘til you showed up,” Eddie answers.
Billy hums noncommittally and doesn’t even try to hide the way he’s looking Eddie up and down. Sizing him up. Double-checking to make sure Eddie’s not a threat, maybe. Eddie fights the urge to duck his head and pull his shoulders in to assure Billy that he isn’t one. He’s a lover, not a fighter. In theory, anyway.
“Now what can I do for you on this fine evening, Mr. Hargrove? I don’t keep everything on me…“ Eddie trails off before he continues, “But I got anything you’d want.”
Billy snorts, “Yeah, I’ll bet.”
“You’re from Cali, right? I got weed from there. Stuff that tastes like blueberries,” Eddie leans forward and bounces his brows, “I got some shrooms from the coast too that could even knock someone like you on your ass. So, what’re you into, Hargrove? What’s your poison?”
Billy’s got an amused look on his face. He’s smirking, but no part of it’s warm or welcoming. It sets Eddie even further on edge than he already had been. “You sure know a lot about me.”
Eddie shrugs, feigning innocence. He takes another pull from his cigarette. “It’s a small town; people talk. Especially around people like me. Y’know, the kinda people who don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. And you, Billy Hargrove, you’re, well…”
Eddie bites his tongue before he continues to embarrass himself. Clears his throat instead, tries to think of something not entirely stupid to say, but the words rush around his noggin so quickly that he can’t seem to catch and pin down any one of ‘em.
The forest floor crunches under the sole of Billy’s heavy black boots as he takes a slow, purposeful step forward. “I’m what, freak?”
Eddie swallows. Feels the hair on the back of his neck stand. Jesus, does this guy ever blink? Fucking blue-eyed people and their zombie stares…
He smiles despite his nerves. Then, with a tilt of his head, he answers. “You’re hard to miss.”
It’s grounds to get punched, Eddie knows. Innocent as the comment is, Eddie’s been hit for less. Shit, he got shoved into a locker for looking too long that one time in middle school. Spent the whole fucking lunch break with no one but his ripe gym socks to keep him company. So yeah, maybe Eddie’s a little jumpy around jocks like Billy Hargrove who look like they could fold Eddie into a pretzel without breaking a sweat.
Billy doesn’t look like he’s gearing up to punch Eddie, though. Not yet anyway. He just looks sort of… amused.
It’s getting late. The sun’s low in the sky, and every few seconds it catches on Billy’s earring or his chain, both temporarily blinding him. Eddie doesn’t let his eyes wander, though. He’s got enough self-discipline for that at least.
“I’ll take some of that blueberry kush,” Billy finally says, checking over his shoulder one last time before he flicks his head towards Eddie. “But I don’t got any money. Not until Monday. I’ll have to owe you.”
“Sorry pal,” Eddie leans back, palms against the flat of the picnic tabletop. He blows the smoke from his cigarette up towards the sky. “I don’t do I.O.U’s.”
The air shifts between them. Eddie can feel it. The blue-eyed zombie stare darkens, and Billy takes another step forward until his hip nearly knocks up against one of Eddie’s bent legs. “What? You don’t think I’m good for it, pal?”
“I don’t know you, man,” Eddie mutters around his cigarette, shifting uncomfortably. He always hates this part of the job. He’s been a punching bag on and off for most of his life, but that doesn’t mean he’s gotta like it.
“You just went on and on about how you did.” Billy spits, and Eddie flinches as it hits his cheek. He doesn’t dare raise a hand to swipe it off though, lest it be interpreted as a move to strike.
“Look, I can hold it for you until Monday, but that’s the best I can do.” Eddie offers, but it’s not enough. He knows it’s not even close to enough. Guys like Hargrove aren’t used to being told no.
“C’mon man, there’s gotta be some deal you can cut me. I just wanna have a good fucking night. You can understand that, can’t you, Munson?” Billy asks, his voice going soft. Smooth. Breathy.
And even though his insides are fucking liquifying in real time as he does it, Eddie shakes his head, his long hair curtaining his face as he does. “Can’t do it, man.”
“Well, maybe I’ll just beat the shit out of you and take your shit anyway, huh? How about that?” Billy asks, his bottom lip caught between especially sharp-looking teeth. Eddie looks up, his dark eyes lock onto Billy’s salt-water blue ones. Stormy fucking seas. Eddie sure as hell doesn’t want to get beat up tonight, but if he starts cutting deals and giving special treatment to everyone who threatens him he’d be intimidated right out of business. And he needs the cash. Can’t leave all the bills to Uncle Wayne.
Before Eddie can think up a clever answer, Billy’s got his head thrown back, and he’s cackling. “Shit, I’m fucking with you, dude. Put that face away. I swear, no one in this fucking town can take a goddamn joke.”
Eddie doesn’t bother defending himself, just takes his cigarette from his mouth, knocks off the ash and gives a shaky exhale before putting it back between his lips. He barely starts in on his next inhale when the damn thing is plucked out of his mouth.
Lightening fast. Eddie hadn’t even seen his hands—but there was his cigarette, half-smoked, between Billy’s lips. Eddie feels his face heat at the idea of Billy’s mouth being where his own was, just a second before.
“Ha ha,” Eddie mutters, his eyes narrowing. He’s feeling somewhat brave, despite feeling distinctly like a mouse that’s being battered by a cat's paw. “Very cute.”
Billy tips his head, accepting the comment as if it were a compliment. He doesn’t give Eddie his dart back though—the guy just keeps smoking it with a swarmy fucking grin on his tanned, well-proportioned face.
Because the truth is that Billy is easy on the eyes. Nice to look at. It’s entirely counteracted by the fact that the longer you look at that aforementioned face the higher your chances are of getting a knuckle sandwich sent hurtling your way… but Eddie’s still got functioning eyeballs. He can see that Billy’s… well. Beautiful.
In a weird way, though. Like how Eddie pictures the elves from Middle Earth might look.
Fucking ethereal and shit.
“I’ll cut you a deal, Munson,” Billy says, blue eyes and dark lashes illuminated by the cherry of that stolen cigarette. “I’ll let you have something. Y’know, as payment.”
But pretty as Billy is, Eddie’s no sucker. “I don’t do trades either.”
“You’re gonna wanna hear this trade.” Billy exhales a cloud of white between them.
Eddie doubts it, but the sooner he hears it the sooner he can shoot it down. “Spit it out then.” He sighs.
But Billy doesn’t ‘spit it out’. Instead, he shifts weight from foot to foot, looking suddenly agitated again. Billy sniffs and scratches his nose with the nail of his thumb. Like he’s tweaking. Eddie waits him out. Curiosity officially piqued.
Finally, after doing his little dance, Billy leans forward, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue. “I’ll let you suck my dick.”
And that.
Well.
Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting but it sure as hell wasn’t that.
The shock is written all over Eddie’s face, he’s sure. He’s never been good at concealing his emotions—an open book, his mom called him. Shit liar, is what his dad called him. Either way, he knows the surprise of what Billy’s offered up plays across his face by the way Billy’s eyes dance around it, looking pleased.
“What?” Eddie squeaks out, face suddenly on fire.
“You heard me,” Billy snaps, “I ain’t sayin’ it again.”
Eddie blinks, looks away from Billy Hargrove’s icey freeze-pop eyes. It’s no easy task. “You’ll let me…?”
Eddie motions towards the crotch of Billy’s exceptionally tight jeans. Jeans that leave very little to the imagination, Eddie might add.
Billy grins, his pink tongue caught between his teeth as he leans back, jutting his hips out a little.
“I’ll let you,” he confirms. Standing there like he’s God’s fucking gift.
Though he’s got very little air left in his lungs, Eddie gives a weak scoff. “Shouldn’t this be the other way around?”
And for the first time tonight, Eddie does feel at risk of being sucker punched. Billy’s eyes flare, and just like that his beauty melts into something ugly. Like a spell is cast over him—beauty to beast. “I’m no cock-sucker.” He spits out.
In a show of surrender, Eddie raises his hands. “I didn’t say you were. I just—usually when someone is offering sexual favors it’s… Y’know what? Whatever. Doesn’t matter. I’m not—I don’t trade in pleasures of the flesh, ‘kay? That’s not what I’m doing here, Hargrove. It’s cash only.”
But Billy’s either got a hearing problem or a comprehension problem because he rolls his eyes and just keeps on bartering. “Fine, I’ll give you a handjob. After my blow job.”
Now. Eddie isn’t a prude. In fact, he’s probably something of a pervert if his porno of choice is any indication of that, but this—with Billy?
Eddie’s spent this entire interaction scared fucking stiff, and now Billy’s offering to go and get him into an even more vulnerable position—with Eddie’s pants literally around his ankles?
“No.” Eddie aggressively shakes his head, sending his curls in motion. No no no. Fuck no. As hot as Billy is—no. The decision is final. Take it or leave it, Eddie thinks stubbornly. Heels successfully dug in.
Billy sighs through his nose, takes a step back and chuckles dryly to himself. “I know you’re a queer, Munson. Don’t—!” Billy snaps, pointing a finger in Eddie’s face when he dares open his mouth to deny it, “don’t fucking lie to me.
Eddie swallows, promptly shutting the fuck up.
Is he really that obvious…?
Billy continues, “I know you’re a queer. I saw the way you used to look at Harrington, back when we were all in school together. Gym class,” Billy leans forward, back in Eddie’s space, their shared cigarette bouncing between them as he speaks, “the showers. Remember?”
It’s been a year since Hargrove and Harrington both leap-frogged him out of Hawkins High, diplomas in tow. A full year, but apparently Billy’s got a fucking photographic memory. Eddie feels his t-shirt stick to his back, slick with sweat. “Whatever, man. It’s not a crime to look.”
“It is in this shit hole of a town,” Billy chuckles, dark and humourless, “so you get it now? I know you like dick. And I like pot. So, let’s work something out, here, Munson.”
Billy claps his hands together between them, loud and jarring. “Time’s a’wastin’, amigo!”
Jesus this guy…
“Even if I did like dick,” Eddie tilts his head and scrunches his nose, “it doesn’t mean I want your dick, Hargrove.”
“A dick’s a dick, man. And trust me, I got a nice, big fat one for you to choke on, trust me, you’ll love it,” Billy laughs as he speaks, watching in amusement as Eddie rubs a hand over his heated, blotchy face. “C’mon, you’ve sucked cock before, right?”
The simple answer is yeah, a couple of times. Every time it ended pretty much the same though. With him being shoved off after they’d finished. Being told they weren’t gay, that if Eddie were to ever tell anyone about the encounter they would deny it, call Eddie a liar, or worse, beat the shit out of him.
He’s not a dummy; Eddie knows being queer in Hawkins is a risk, so it made sense to want to keep it hush-hush. Eddie’s the rumoured gay kid, so if you’re gonna experiment with someone, why not let it be with him? But after a handful of times being treated like trash—something people needed to wash their hands in Javex from after simply touching him—he stopped. It didn’t feel good.
“You don’t gotta answer. I already know you have.” Billy mutters, smug. “Mouth like that.”
There’s no way Billy knows, but Eddie ducks his head, tired of how this entire fucking conversation has him feeling like he wants to crawl out of his skin. Tired of how the darker the sky gets, the brighter Billy’s eyes seem to turn.
And what the fuck’s wrong with Eddie’s mouth..?
“Cash only,” Eddie repeats. Monotone. Suddenly overstimulated as fuck.
Billy finally pulls the last bit that he can from the cigarette, down to the butt, before he flicks the remains of it into the grass. He gives one final, frustrated exhale of smoke. “Fine. Jesus, Munson, you drive one hell of a bargain. But I’ll sweeten the deal for you, alright?”
“Jesus, Hargrove, are your ears not working? Or did you get hit one too many times with the basketball during your jock days? I said I’m not interested. In your cock or your hand or whatever else you try and offer up.” Eddie exclaims, voice going high with strain.
But it’s like the more worked up Eddie gets, the more Billy wags his fucking tail. He’s all lit up, shiny white teeth built for puncturing. He gets back to crowding Eddie—Eddie, who’s one hair’s breadth away from raising his hands and shoving this smug asshole away from him, not caring if he gets his ass kicked as a consequence, but then Billy’s talking again. And Eddie… Eddie’s listening.
“We could kiss a little,” Billy drawls out, angling his mouth towards Eddie’s ear. He lets his voice drop to a low rumble, his words vibrating in that wide chest of his. It sends a chill down Eddie’s spine. “Y’know, make out. You got a van, right? Nice and private. You’d like that.”
Eddie turns his head towards Billy, so close they’re nearly touching each other. His mouth hangs open, slack, but Eddie can’t get a fucking word out. His whole fucking life, all he’s ever heard is ‘Jesus, does this kid have an off switch?’ ‘Eddie, give mommy’s ears a break, please,’ ‘Eddie is very disruptive in class with his constant chatting’. And now he can’t make a single goddamn sound!
Billy, on the other hand, seems entirely pleased at rendering the great motor-mouth-Munson to a mute. “I’m a good kisser, too.” He adds, eyes dropping down to Eddie’s mouth. Like he’s gonna do it right here and now. Eddie’s throat clicks when he swallows.
The embarrassing part is that, well—Except his Mom and his Meemaw and his weird cousin that one time, he’s never… y’know. Been kissed.
Sucked cock? Sure, yeah. That ship has sailed. Sayo-fuckin’-nara.
But kissing? On the mouth? Romantically? It hasn’t happened for Eddie yet. Not that any of what Billy’s propositioning here is in any way romantic, of course, but…
Eddie watches as Billy darts a pink tongue out between his lips, wetting them so that they glisten. Jesus Christ. How can he say no to that? Rules or no, Eddie’s only fucking human. Does he not bleed if he’s cut? Does he not get hard if he’s presented with an absolute fucking smoke show like Billy Hargrove offering to make out with him? All for the low low price of his dignity and a couple of ounces?
“You… actually want to?” Eddie frowns, counter to the nervous smile that’s pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Billy clicks his tongue and shrugs a shoulder, eyes scanning the horizon for like, the hundredth time. “What I want is for you to cut me a deal. That’s enough, ain’t it?”
No, is Eddie’s knee-jerk answer. It’s not enough. Not even close. But, maybe the first kiss fantasy he’s got built up in his head wasn’t ever gonna happen. Especially not for someone like Eddie. He’s probably lucky. Billy’s hot. Willing. And Eddie’s… well, there’s not exactly anyone lining up at Eddie’s front door for the pleasure of his company, let’s just say that.
He feels himself nodding before his brain has even had a chance to catch up. “Yeah. Fine. Okay.”
“Yeah?” Billy grins, canines flashing, “Guess I should’ve started with the chick stuff first, huh?”
Chick stuff? Eddie makes a face. Suddenly emboldened, he shoves a hand against Billy’s shoulder, which just makes him laugh harder. “Don’t be a shithead, Hargrove, or deal’s off. Got it? I’ll walk, I swear to Christ!”
Billy doesn’t agree nor does he disagree, he just leers after Eddie like a fucking bonafied weirdo. And as someone who’s all but cornered the market on being a bonafide weirdo, that’s saying something. He hops off the picnic table, scooping up his lunch box of goodies as he does, not daring to turn his back on Hargrove. “I’m parked just through here.”
Eddie starts towards his van, stealing glances over at Billy as he trudges on after him, only a step behind. Just enough to make Eddie nervous. “Don’t you have like, a job?”
“Two of ‘em, actually.” Billy answers, hands stuffed into his pockets. “Why?”
“How do you not have any cash on you?” Eddie asks, blunt as always.
Billy stiffens, just a little. “That’s none of your business, Munson.”
Eddie raises his hands in yet another mock surrender, “sure, whatever. Remain a man of mystery, I don’t care.”
Just seems stupid, is all. Billy must be fucking terrible with money. Probably spends it all on his obnoxiously loud car. Eddie doesn’t voice any of his many theories though. Billy’s covered in live wires, and Eddie’s not overly eager to start touching and testing ‘em.
The woods aren’t especially dense, but it’s new growth—the old forest chopped down a few decades back and left to grow back all weedy and skinny. There’s lots of branches to duck under along with dirt holes to roll your ankles in. Eddie knows his pathway like the back of his hand by this point, but Billy; not so much. There’s a bundle of eye level branches that always used to smack Eddie in the face when he was focused on his footing, so he makes sure to turn and holds the offending branches back for Billy so he doesn’t totally eat it.
Thinking back, maybe it’s a weird thing to do for another guy, but Eddie’s radar for what’s weird and what isn’t has been busted since he first got cut out of his mom. Always difficult, even back then.
So yeah, Eddie doesn’t get a thank you, or whatever—instead Billy just eyes him with an air of suspicion as he ducks under Eddie’s arm. Like he’s waiting for Eddie to let the branches go or something. Who knows.
Either way, it’s the last great hurdle before they’re back at Eddie’s van, which is right where he left her; parked in the middle of the small gravel lot behind the watershed. Nobody came back here, especially not at night.
His hands shake when he takes out his keys, feeling Billy’s eyes on him. Briefly wonders what kind of mess was waiting for them in the back, but whatever. It’s not like Billy’s expecting The Ritz.
He gets the doors unlocked, and because he’s a gentleman, he holds the door open for his hook-up.
Despite his nerves rattling around under his skin, Eddie gives a little flourish for good measure, holding out an arm for Billy to take. “After you, m’lord.”
Billy scoffs, blue eyes rolling back in his head. And as dim as the light is, Eddie swears he can see two pink spots form on the apples of Billy’s cheeks. He counts it for a win.
“You’re so fuckin’ weird.” Billy mutters as he crawls into the back of Eddie’s van, pointedly ignoring Eddie’s offered arm, the whole thing shifting with the heft of him.
“Wow, y’know what, Hargrove, I had never heard that one before.” Eddie says, hot on Billy’s heels. He swings the door shut behind him.
The back of Eddie’s van is pretty spartan, but only because he’d just finished using it to lug a shit ton of gear to and from a Corroded Coffin gig. What’s left behind is a couple of ratty blankets, some old sweaters, a scattering of sheet music and some candy bar wrappers. It could be neater, but overall it’s not terrible.
Billy sits with his back to one side of the van, his legs spread, knees bent. He sits like a man. One used to taking up room and not apologizing for it. Eddie backs himself up against the opposite wall of the van’s interior, knees bent to his chest, legs crossing at his ankles. There’s not much light back here, but Eddie’s eyes adjust quickly to spot Billy’s agitated-looking face.
“Well?” Mr. California barks, one of his legs begins bouncing restlessly. It shakes the whole van.
Eddie swallows, “well?”
“Where’s the weed?” Billy asks.
Oh.
Right. Wake up, Munson.
Eddie scrambles to get his feet back under him before he squeezes his upper half into the front of the van, reaching into the glove box to grab a baggie.
“Here y’go.” Eddie winces as he pulls himself back through. He sits on bent legs, closer to Billy now. He bestows upon him the sacred sandwich baggy of goods. “Premium blueberry kush, 100% indica. So it’ll mellow you right out. Not that you need to chill out, of course, but, y’know. It should, in theory, help with that scary vein you get in your forehead sometimes.”
Billy glares at Eddie as he swipes the bag out of his hands, the scary vein threatening to make an appearance right there and now. He turns that glare toward the bundles of dried herbs.
“You got a bong or a pipe or somethin’?” Billy mumbles.
“Duh,” Eddie scoffs, breathing entirely too hard, “Why?”
“What’d’ya mean, ‘why?’ To smoke this shit with.” Billy gives the baggy a few vicious shakes in front of Eddie’s face.
Eddie feels his eyes cross as he follows the weed. “Right now?”
“Unless you feel like rollin’ it.” Billy shrugs, sounding like his already thin patience is beginning to wear even thinner.
“No—uh, I just thought you’d wanna smoke at home or whatever.” Not with Eddie.
A crease forms between Billy’s eyebrows as he frowns. “What, you don’t wanna smoke with me, Munson?”
Eddie snorts, shakes his head, “hey, I’ll smoke with anyone—“
“Then shut the fuck up and get the bong already!” Billy shouts, fuse burnt down to the quick.
And if there’s one thing about Eddie, is he responds well to yelling. Or, not well, per se, but shouting always seems to snap him out of whatever fog he’s in. It works on him. So, yeah, he responds. Jumps to attention. His mom used to have to snap her fingers in front of his face to ‘bring him back’, she said. No one else seems to bother with that sort of gentle touch with Eddie though, except Uncle Wayne, but he usually just gives Eddie’s hair a tussle instead of a snap.
So back to the front he goes, sliding the keys into the ignition and starting the old girl up while he’s there so that they’ve got some music to fill the silence. And if memory serves him correctly, Billy’s got pretty decent taste, music-wise.
When he sits back down, bong in hand.
“Ta-da!” Eddie sings, holding the contraption up by the neck to Billy in victory, careful not to tip it over. Billy looks entirely unimpressed as he grabs it out of Eddie’s hand and slots it between his thighs.
Lucky bong.
Billy starts grinding up some pieces between his fingers and packing the bowl with a familiarity that Eddie can respect.
Technically, it’s still Eddie’s weed that Billy’s prepping, since he hasn’t exactly gotten payment for the pot yet, but… maybe Billy needs the vapour courage before he can face the idea of kissing another dude. Of kissing Eddie.
Eddie watches from behind the hair he’d let fall in his face as Billy lights the bowl, inhales, and takes a hit. It’s sort of pretty, the way he slowly exhales the smoke out of the side of his mouth. Away from Eddie.
Then the bong is being pressed into his hands. Eddie’s turn.
He takes a rip, then another one once Billy’s taken another hit of his own, and that’s all it takes for the both of ‘em to get laid out on their asses. They end up flat on their backs, the round part of their shoulders touching, both staring up at the ceiling of the van, with rolled-up sweaters and blankets under their heads in the way of makeshift pillows. They’re the kind of high where time feels like it’s barely moving. Something made up. A concept. Like there’s a very real possibility that Eddie and Billy have been lying here for an eternity, and then some.
And Eddie still hasn’t gotten any kisses from Billy.
But he also hasn’t gotten any punches by Billy either, so there’s that…
“You ever seen the ocean, Munson?” Billy murmurs in a voice that’s gone a little rough thanks to all the smoke still floating around the van. Now successfully hot-boxed. Drawing out their high.
Eddie’s arms feel heavy. “No.”
Billy turns his neck to look at Eddie like he’s re-evaluating his idea of him paired with this new, disappointing information. Eddie turns his head away from Billy, just a little, feeling weirdly embarrassed. “Never even left the state.”
Small town, trailer trash… that’s probably what Billy thinks of him. Billy, who’s been everywhere. Especially compared to Eddie. He expects to get laughed at, but Billy keeps surprising Eddie. He just looks… bummed out.
“You’d probably hate it,” Billy states, sure of himself, eyes dancing across Eddie’s face. “You’d burn right fuckin’ quick. Get sand all up in your shorts. D’you even know how to swim?”
“A little.” Eddie means to say defensively, but it comes out as little more than a sigh.
“Not in waves, though, I bet. You’d end up swallowing your weight in seawater before I hauled your ass out,” Billy’s smiling at the strange little fantasy where Eddie’s tormented by the elements. Eddie’s giggling along too, though he’s entirely unsure as to why.
“A crab might even,” lighting fast, Billy reaches over to punch the barely-there roll on Eddie’s stomach, “get’chya.”
Eddie yelps—or maybe he squeals. He can’t be sure. Either way, whatever sound he lets out isn’t in any way charming or cute. Which; no surprise there. Instinctually, his hand’s gone and encircled itself around Billy’s wrist, but he’s too fucking blitzed out to do more than just squeeze it, trying to appear threatening. Sort of tough when you can’t stop fucking giggling. “Stop, stop—I’m gonna piss myself, dude.”
Billy’s got his tongue caught between his teeth, laughing along, low and rough in his throat, but to his credit (and probably a desire not to be covered in piss) he releases his hold on Eddie’s stomach.
They settle back on their backs, one Metallica track leading into another. It’s the only way Eddie can be sure the clocks haven’t all stopped entirely. Proof the passage of time is still in working order. He exhales in relief, staring at Billy’s profile.
For someone so fucking scary, he’s got deceptively cute features. An honest-to-Christ button nose, along with some ridiculously long eyelashes. Golden ringlets fall around his face. Freckles too, all over his cheeks. Even a Cupid’s bow. When Billy fell from heaven, he didn’t hit like, a single ugly branch on his way down.
Eddie blinks before his brain catches up with what he’s looking at; Billy, staring back at him. When did Billy turn his head? How long have their eyes been locked? A second? A year? Time’s fucking with him so hard, Jesus…
“M’not really an outdoorsy kinda guy.” Eddie admits, unable to keep from smiling.
Because of the weed.
Billy gives a lazy snort as if what Eddie had just said was the understatement of the year. “That’s weird, because you kinda look like a bug.”
It shouldn’t make him laugh as hard as it does, but Eddie feels the rumble of it in his chest, and he can’t help but let out a series of very unflattering sounding laughs. Billy’s not laughing along, but he seems entirely entertained by Eddie’s fucking display.
When he finally catches his breath, Eddie indignantly squeaks out, “How do I look like a bug?”
“Because,” Billy flicks his chin towards Eddie’s face, teasing half-smile still firmly in place, “you got them big buggy eyes.”
Eddie blows a low-energy strawberry, rolling his eyes before they land back on Billy. Can’t seem to take his eyes off of him for long. “I’ll have you know that my ‘big buggy eyes’ are my best feature.”
Billy narrows his eyes, clearly amused. “You think so?”
“I know so. It’s what everyone tells me.” Eddie widens his eyes to drive the point home.
Everyone being his mom when she was still alive, and… well, just his mom. But she was a real smart lady. And like, super pretty. A total knock-out. She knew about this sort of thing. He remembers how she used to go on and on about his big brown puppy-dog eyes, about how they’d break hearts one day. And no one, especially not Billy Hargrove, can take that away from him. Even if it is something all moms say to their funny-looking kids.
“Well, everyone’s lying to you,” Billy says, in that casually cruel way of his.
Eddie drops his jaw in an exaggerated show of the offense. “Is that so?”
“Yep,” Billy confirms, smug. A true blue asshole; through and through. “Your best feature’s your lips, no question.”
And. Well, no one’s ever said anything about his lips before. Not his mom, not his hook-ups—no one.
They’re just… lips. Not especially big or small. Kind of right in the middle. They’re even kinda chapped right now.
“Gee, thanks.” He murmurs, from lips that Billy Hargrove apparently approves of. Maybe even likes. His fingers twitch at his sides, palms growing sweaty.
Billy just looks away, like Eddie’s caught him doing something wrong. Caught him being nice. Guess it probably hurts the ol’ bad boy image to compliment other boy’s lips. Eddie resists the urge to raise one of his hands and feel along the ridges of his mouth, to map ‘em out. Try and figure out what Billy likes about them enough to say it out loud. He’s buzzing with the compliment.
“So, you still want… y’know, payment or whatever?” Billy asks, keeping his words to little more than a low murmur between them.
The song playing through the speakers stops—a brief pause before it leads into the next one. It’s deathly quiet in those tense few seconds.
Eddie doesn’t answer Billy right away. He can’t. So instead, he just… lets the questions hang between them. Because the thing is, God help him, he does. And yeah, maybe he didn’t plan on his first kiss being with big bad Billy Hargrove—maybe instead of golden curls and freckles Eddie had envisioned dark, fluffy hair and a splattering of moles. Big brown bedroom eyes instead of sharp, icy blue ones. Either way, he’s way out of his depth. Out of his league. In fact, Eddie should be on his hands and knees thanking Billy for even considering sucking face with a guy like him. He should be psyched. And he is!
Fuck, this weed is making it hard to keep his thoughts linear. He stares back at Billy, realizing suddenly that he’s been waiting for an answer to his question.
“Nothing is ever free, Hargrove,” Eddie answers, cryptic, even to his own ears, “you should know that.”
Because it’s the truth, isn’t it? Nobody just does shit out of the goodness of their hearts. Everyone expects something in return. Everyone’s gotta pay the piper. And if something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. So yeah, Eddie gives what he can, but he also takes what he can get. Same as Billy, Eddie suspects.
Billy’s got a real perplexed sort of look on his face. Golden and tan, even in the cold, sterile light of night. His eyes momentarily dart to Eddie’s lips, just for a split second. But split second or no, Eddie’d caught it. The tiny motion sends his beat-up little dime-store heart all a’flutter. Billy likes these lips.
“Close your eyes,” Billy tells him, voice cigarette rough.
Eddie does it, trying to keep his breathing even. Shallow, so he doesn’t puff hot air in Billy’s face when he approaches. His hands lay limply by his sides, with his hair splayed around his like some expanding ink blot on the floor of his van.
He has the sudden and quite frankly embarrassing image of Snow White lying dead in her glass coffin, pale-skinned and raven-haired, waiting for a kiss of her own.
It’s so stupid that he ends up snorting.
“What? You think this is funny, Munson?” Billy growls, voice sounding like it’s still to the right of him, but that he’s propped up on an elbow or something.
Eddie shakes his head, keeping his eyes closed. A smile tugs at one of the corners of his mouth, totally beyond his control. “No, no, it’s stupid. I. Just—fuck. Sorry. Forget I did that.”
“If you think this is stupid, then I can go. I don’t need this shit—“
”No! Stop—“ Eddie reaches out and grabs the front of Billy’s shirt, his eyes popping open in panic. “You’re not stupid—I’m… shit, you’re gonna laugh.”
“Just tell me, shithead.” Billy snaps, face getting more and more red as his temper rises.
“Fine. Jesus.” Eddie squirms under the intensity of Billy’s gaze. All hard edges and intimidation now. Eddie’s only had the Billy that tickles him and tells him nice things about his lips for a fucking millisecond, but he already misses him.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before, alright?” He blurts out, quick like a bandaid.
And with that, Billy’s eyes go a little funny. The icey shards in his eyes melt back to tumultuous waters. “Seriously?”
“No, dude, I’m lying about being a total loser with no game.” Eddie snorts, emboldened by his buzzing high.
Billy frowns, “Aren’t you like, two years older than me?”
“Look, I had opportunities, okay? But mostly… It was, y’know. With girls. Pretty ones, too!” his brows shoot up, attempting to emphasize the point, “but I just… I never wanted to.”
Billy’s stone-still while he listens. Looking like he’s hanging off every word that Eddie’s stumbling over.
“So, you can’t even fake it?” He asks.
Eddie blinks, suddenly lost. “Fake what?”
“Liking chicks.” He answers quickly.
“Nah,” Eddie huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, “I’m a shitty liar.”
“Poor bastard.” Billy mumbles, mostly to himself. Then he clicks his tongue, “That’s a real tough break, amigo.”
Eddie’s shoulders twitch. “I get by.”
A corner of Billy’s mouth turns down and he tilts his head like he’s allowing Eddie some small, indiscernible mercy.
“I just feel bad,” Billy says, low and smooth, “you starting at the very top like this. Everyone else after me is gonna feel like a major fuckin’ letdown.”
Eddie snorts, looking up at Billy, who’s got himself propped up on an elbow and is sort of hovering above him. “Big talk, Hargrove.”
Canines flash. “Well I got a big game, Munson.”
“You’re a real cocky b—” Eddie’s words are smushed back into his mouth when Billy suddenly leans forward and presses his lips against Eddie’s.
Billy’s got a hand against Eddie’s neck, the pad of his thumb against the edge of his jaw, tilting his face up just so. Eddie can hear his heart thundering in his chest, white noise overtaking For Whom the Bell Tolls.
His first kiss.
It’s warm and soft. Drier than he expected it would be. The stubble of Billy’s moustache scrapes against his upper lip, sending shockwaves up and down Eddie’s spine. Billy smells like cologne. Or maybe that’s aftershave—he can’t tell. Eddie fills his lungs with it, breathing deeply through his nose.
The thumb resting against Eddie’s jaw begins stroking along his cheek. Delicately. Like Eddie’s something fragile. Precious, even. He’s gone all tingly everywhere Billy touches him—like magic.
It’s about this time that Billy parts his lips, sliding a tongue along the seam of Eddie’s mouth, gentle prodding—like he’s looking for a weak point. Somewhere to gain entry.
Or maybe he just wanted to taste Eddie’s lips.
Hey, can’t a guy dream?
Billy shifts his weight, further encroaching into Eddie’s personal space, his broad shoulders caging over top of Eddie’s narrower ones. Then Billy raises a leg and swings it over before letting his hips drop over top of Eddie’s own. It’s like touching a fucking live wire. He can’t help the way he reflexively gasps and bucks up into the solid bulk above him. And sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph… he’s rock fucking hard in his jeans. When did that happen?
Flood gates open. Billy—clearly emboldened by the discovery of what he’s doing to Eddie’s body—deepens their kiss by sticking his tongue down Eddie’s throat. The sensation is weird as hell—Eddie’s only ever had his own tongue in his mouth, but there Billy’s is, swirling around, dipping in and out as the sound of their smacking lips fills the van, harmonizing with Hammett‘s insane, face-melting guitar solo.
There are teeth involved now too; Billy’s biting Eddie’s lower lip and pulling, stopping right before it gets painful. It brings sounds out of Eddie that he’d never heard himself make before. Didn’t even know that he could make. All breathy and moany. Maybe he should be embarrassed about how loud he’s progressively getting, but it’s hard to think straight when Billy’s slowly grinding his hips down against his. And Billy’s—fuck, Billy’s hard too. That’s gotta be what that is, right? Jesus H. Christ…
Their hips move in tandem now, the same way their tongues seem to. It’s like Eddie’s body just knows what to do. It’s fucking incredible. He’s never been naturally good at anything in his life. Nothing comes easily to Eddie Munson. Every talent he’s got has been hard-fought, earned through blood, sweat and tears.
But this… Eddie might actually be kinda good at this.
Or maybe Billy’s just a really good teacher.
He’s a cocky asshole, but Eddie fears he might have been serious about everyone else being a letdown after him. Because how the hell is anyone else going to compare to this? To Billy Hargrove. Mr. California King. Eddie could swear he’s glowing right now—like Billy’s spent so much time laid out in the sunlight that a couple of rays got trapped just underneath his skin. Dude can’t help but shine.
Yeah, he’ll be a tough act to follow.
But that’s another Eddie’s problem. Future Eddie. Meanwhile, the here and now Eddie, is getting kissed. He’s got Billy’s big arms wrapped around him, like Eddie’s somehow worth something to someone like him.
Down south, there’s just the right amount of pressure on his denim-trapped dick. He can feel the line of Billy’s own cock bump against his own when he pushes hard enough. He could fucking weep. It’s almost too much—too good. Too perfect. What’s he gonna do with himself now that he knows he could be doing this? God, how’s he ever gonna jerk off when this—when Billy… oh fuck-!
His orgasm hits him like a goddamn freight train. The switch on his brain had gone off and it didn’t even have the courtesy of letting him know!
Eddie’s jaw drops open, mid-kiss, and he pants—moans—into Billy’s mouth. His hips go stiff, stuck in its lifted position, trying to drive upwards into Billy as hard as he can. He can feel himself shake all over as the waves crash over him, one after the other in quick succession, nearly whiting out his vision. He shuts his eyes as he finally comes down on the other side of it, releasing a choked-sounding exhale.
He goes limp. Boneless. Buzzing and tingling and vibrating all over. Waits for the feeling of mortification to overtake him. It should be here in 3… 2…
“Did you just…?” Billy asks, lifting his own hips to examine the scene of the crime. Eddie imagines the wet spot steadily growing on the front of his jeans, a little off to the left, is pretty hard to miss.
“Holy shit, you did,” Billy chuckles, slightly awed sounding, “you just creamed your fuckin’ pants.”
Eddie whimpers. The sharp contrast of absolute bone-deep humiliation paired with the fluttery, intensely content feeling he's still got working its way through his nervous system is enough to make his head spin.
“Sorry.” Eddie blinks his eyes open.
Eddie didn’t think it was possible for Billy to look any more smug than he did before, but somehow, he’s achieving the impossible.
“Don’t be,” Billy insists, a chuckle still at the edge of his words. He grunts a little as he rolls off of Eddie and drops down onto his back. Taking up his previous position of laying shoulder to shoulder next to each other. “I take it as a compliment.”
It’s kinda sweet of him. Because what happened was embarrassing. No two ways about it. Shooting off like that, like Eddie’s some horn dog who can’t control himself?
But, well, if the boot fits…
Billy reaches down and roughly adjusts himself before sitting up. Gentle touches all used up for Eddie, apparently. Then he lifts his ass just enough that he can slide a hand behind him to retrieve a crumpled-looking box of Marlboro reds. Shakily, Eddie sits up too, engaging muscles that still feel jello-like.
Billy knocks out a cigarette and puts it between his lips. Then he knocks out a second one, and without asking, puts it in Eddie’s mouth. Billy leans forward, and Eddie mirrors him—still just trying to keep up—moving until the ends of their cigarettes line up. Billy ignites his lighter, temporarily blinding them both, but he holds it in front of them, and they inhale in tandem.
Smoke fills Eddie’s lungs. The familiar, soothing burn in his throat makes him feel a little more solid. Present. It makes what just happened all the more bewildering.
They smoke in silence.
Well, except for the music from his cassette still humming from the speakers. Billy mumbles something about loving a certain drum solo, but other than that, it’s crickets. It goes on like this until their cigarettes are half their original size and Eddie finally grows a pair.
“What about you?” He murmurs around his dart.
Billy exhales a stream of smoke out of his nose, looking like a sick ass dragon before he answers, “What about me?”
Eddie flicks his chin towards Billy’s general direction. “You wanna get off too?”
Billy just snorts and shakes his head, like Eddie had said something prosperous. “Nah.”
A pit forms in the center of Eddie’s gut. Souring any of the leftover post-nut happy chemicals that were still rolling around his noggin. That sting of rejection. The knowledge that Billy doesn’t actually want someone like Eddie touching him. Like Billy’s itching to go take a shower and wash all the Eddie-cooties off of him, before heading back to his actual life. Like being with Eddie is something embarrassing. It’s a sinking fucking feeling, one he knows no post-high buzz or cigarette is going to touch. Sometimes Eddie forgets that he’s just a detour. Never anyone’s destination point.
“Maybe next time.” Billy mumbles, so low that Eddie almost misses it entirely. He finishes his cigarette before stuffing the butt of it into one of the many makeshift ashtrays Eddie’s got kicking around back here. Then he starts making his way to the back doors, slipping out into the Indiana night.
Next time.
The words echo in Eddie’s head. Bounce off the walls, does couple of cartwheels, spins. The letters get all scrambled up before he’s able to make sense of them.
Next time.
“Pleasure doing business with you, California.” Eddie hollers out a split second before Billy can close the door.
A half-smile forms on that Cupid’s bow-tipped mouth. Pretty as a picture. How did Eddie never notice before? And how’s he supposed to think about anything else?
“See you around, Eddie.” He purrs, knows exactly what he’s doing, Eddie’s sure of it—then slams the door shut between them. He’s engulfed in darkness again. His eyes are back to their unadjusted state, while specks of nothing flit across his blackened vision. He gnaws on his bottom lip to keep the laugh that’s threatening to bubble up from his chest at bay.
Next time.
—
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#Eddie Munson#billy hargrove#mungrove#baby’s first mungrove#this is my first time writing for this pairing soooooo idk don’t bully me ig#stranger things#rare pair#Eddie Munson x billy Hargrove#Billy Hargrove x Eddie Munson#one sided Steddie#Eddie Munson ADHD#Bully Billy hargrove#Mungrove fanfic#Mungrove fic#Stranger things oneshot#Oneshot#drabble#my writing#write Rae write#kiss virgin Eddie Munson#bullied Eddie Munson
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- ALLIGATOR BITES NEVER HEAL !
a swamp for each chamber of my heart
tags: eventual pregnancy but it’s an overall theme, rafebarry centric, transmasc!rafe (anatomy terms: pussy, cunt, cock, hole, tits), mention of top surgery scars, barry calling rafe a dog, degradation, ambiguous ending, dead dove do not eat, messing with the s4 timeline, pregnant!sarah, established rafebarry(fem)reader, mentioned past rafe x jj, mentioned past drug use, implied incest if you squint, possible eventual kidnapping, cheating (on sofia), title from doechii (subtitle from me), consensual but not safe or sane
please do not copy, translate, or feed this work to ai
note: unedited, fresh out out a rut. this is for like 4 people <3333
As if trailing behind his pregnant sister in the sands of Morocco going after more stupid treasure wasn’t bad enough, Rafe’s been feeling on the verge of throwing up for the past week. Ever since he made Barry bend him over the dock and fuck his pussy raw before taking the boat, actually.
He’d missed being high, and had only come to him for the boat at first. Then the sun bounced off his tacky sunglasses and his gold tooth, next thing Rafe knows he’s squirting into the open water below. There was the usual foreplay, biting words meant to goad him into getting his shit rocked. Glares that would eventually turn into glassy eyed vacant stares.
His favorite times are when he gets nose bleeds and a little red trail gushes from his face to drip down between Barry’s hairy balls.
Barry didn’t say anything about not using a condom, or checking to make sure Rafe had his birth control, he’s not the kinda guy that’s gonna pass up on creampieing a brat’s sloppy pussy.
Call it a desperate attempt to baby trap the only family either of y’all have left, if you’re not already pregnant yourself. Barry wonders when Rafe’s gonna circle around to that possibility, but he can wait, because he knows that once his dog catches your scent, there’s only so much time you can spend running.
It’s a small island, a lot of water you could drown in if you get the mind to wander off on your own and get caught in a trap. Maybe someone really does smell different when they’ve got a bun in the oven.
He was even more on edge because you weren’t talking to him or Barry, nah, you thought you were better than them or something and wanted to distance yourself from the treasure hunt mess. Which would be understandable if he wasn’t involved, but he is so you just need to get the fuck over it. Sofia’s just a cover, she’ll outlive her usefulness when Rafe stops being a coward.
Getting stabbed deep in his guts always feels better when you’re there to love on him, sucking his tits and softly pecking all over his face while he cries and gets snot all over in your hair. Barry likes it better that way too, his bitches playing together like the cute lil’ puppies he knows they can be.
So Rafe hobbles onto the boat with cum dripping down his legs and sets off, his mind fractured in a million different pieces, if he tried to put them together he knows the picture they’d make. One that gives him the same weird feeling that he’d get seeing Rose pin wooden ‘Live Laugh Love’ signs to the walls.
When he goes to bed that night, he replays every moment, every movement of Barry’s tongue as he spoke.
“Captain Barry at your service.”
Rafe grunts and rolls over in the rickety bed, cringing as the springs in the mattress groan under his weight. He snakes a hand into his pajama pants, fingers searching for his cock and flicking it. He wishes you were there to suck on it and slide your fingers into his hole, shushing him when he whines that it’s too much because you both know that Barry’s beat his pussy up more than you ever could.
He whimpers into his pillow, caressing his folds and squeezing his meaty thighs together. It’s always easier to reminisce when Barry’s rough, he has bruises and bite marks and cuts to trace and kill himself over and over in. When he’d left, Barry had held him so close that Rafe wasn’t sure that their bodies had ever been apart before then. Sticky wet heat against his groaning back, cauterizing the wounds that he doesn’t remember carrying anymore, the emptiness that outweighs the ache in his cunt.
“Shh.” Barry teased, digging his chin into Rafe’s shoulder, pummeling his fingers into the clutch of his sopping wet hole as he humped his ass. “You keep sayin’ you wanna act tough but you can’t even take being treated like a slut, you’re lucky i like seein’ you cry so much.”
He likes kissing it better afterwards too though, when Rafe’s far gone enough to be malleable and suggestible, pliant and turned in the direction of a better daddy. Barry’ll even make sure he has a sibling too, one that Rafe can’t ever disappoint because you already know where each of his cavities are and you dig into them, kiss after kiss.
“Think you’re gonna know what’s good for you when you can’t run off no more?”
He’s being cleaved open, Barry’s digging through his organs and throwing away the bits and pieces that don’t suit him anymore.
“Ngh- Please, i’m sorry- hurts, keep going, fuck-“ He was dripping onto the dock, mouth in an ‘O’ shape, a warm arm in between his thighs, it’s not enough anymore.
He needs to be bleeding, about to vomit, chunks of his arms and shoulders gnawed at.
Then when his pussy clenched and he was almost there, he’s empty again. The absence of something filling him lasted all of ten seconds until Barry shoved his cock in to replace his fingers, plugging him up. Rafe jerked and choked on his own spit, his eyes shot up to catch the shimmer in the water as the sunlight hit, nearly time for it to set.
Barry brought a hand up to play with his chest, “These tits are gonna get so full, baby boy, our girl and I are always gonna have to drain you dry when they get sore, huh?”
Rafe’s eyes rolled back on a moan, letting Barry’s thrusts send shockwaves up his body, jostling his flesh and causing slight jiggles. His tits already feel like hell all the damn time, Barry’s rough hands smack them around so often it feels weird when they’re left alone. He was gushing around the cock inside him, regretfully easing the slide.
“Yeah,” Barry gritted out as he sped up, clamping one sweaty hand around his throat and the other in the dip where his thigh melted into his hip. “Don’t need no ideas in your stupid fuckin’ head about being hot shit, just need a baby. Babies for my babies.”
Rafe couldn’t do shit but nod eagerly as he took it, awkwardly bent over, one misstep away from going in the water and half in pain but he’d never been this fucking wet in his life. Not with Topper, not with Kelce, not with Sofia, not with that bitch JJ (which was the only time someone has made him bleed more than Barry), not with-
He squeezed his eyes shut, replacing that one with the man who abuses his puffy pussy better. Barry clicked his tongue and took the hand on his hip off, stuffing those fingers down Rafe’s throat, he couldn’t afford letting Rafe set up another house in his own head, as inhospitable as it is.
Rafe moaned gratefully, filled from both ends and forced to quiet down how he secretly likes. He kept his hands off his cock which made Barry generous enough to touch it for him, rubbing tight circles on it as he tried to push his cock deeper into him, wanting to kiss his cervix and power through.
“Be a good bitch and come back, and we’ll go after her, yeah? Gonna bring her ass back so you’re not self concious when you start showin’ and shit-“ Barry cut himself off, holding Rafe’s throat so tight the other man chokes as Barry’s jizz flooded his used pussy.
“Yes, yes, want her, want to watch you knock her up too, oh my fucking god.” Rafe yelled and came again, or maybe it was the first time, he didn’t really remember so many dragonflies were buzzin’ in his skull. “Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby.”
Barry made him stay in that position even when his orgasm happened later, making sure his cum could slosh around in his womb and create a cute lil’ baby. Bastard’s probably gonna be the most bloodthirsty infant in the hospital that day, but Barry sure hoped so, he knew damn well who he’d be locking down in every kinda way after all. Marriage vows don’t gotta be on paper to be binding in his humble opinion.
He got that across well enough, stroking his thumbs across Rafe’s top surgery scars when he tied him up on the boat. Petted his hair too because it’s just something he gets the itch to do on occasion, and bent Rafe’s legs far enough to fit his head between so he could bully his cock next. Barry slurped up the custom mix of his and his dog’s cum, groaning, bone deep and raggedly like hot coals were being stroked over his ribs. Making hollow melodic sounds, like windchimes with none of those fancy dangly bits attached.
“I know I can’t say shit about not killing, not anythin’ that would do any fuckin’ good, but watch it.” Barry said and fixed Rafe with a look that added a million different things to the conversation, more loose ends.
“This isn’t about that shit this time, I guess, I don't know. Whatever, all I give a fuck about is the treasure.”
“Don’t I know it. Well, maybe you’ll come back with coke dick again, maybe not. Just fuckin’ be a good bitch and come the fuck back, is all i’m sayin’. You get me?”
“Shit, yeah I get you, alright?”
“Don’t be a stranger, I don’t got nearly enough good quality chains for both you and her.”
His cock twitched and his mound almost throbbed down to the nerve endings at the image, but they both knew Rafe isn’t necessarily the stray dog to really worry about finding its way home. Rafe guessed he could sit on your face to calm you down if you end up actually needing the iron restraints, being smothered always helped settle him back into a stable mood, or uh, stable-ish. Several swipes of his cock through your taste buds and a few jabs at his puckered asshole and you’d be back to normal!
More sand blows in as Rafe plucks his nipples with his free hand, whining because it doesn’t feel the same, his touch isn’t mean enough like Barry’s or condescending enough like yours. He’s pathetic, sniffling into his shoulder and curling his fingers into his pussy, jackhammering away until he feels something other than loneliness. He really fuckin’ hopes Barry’s cum takes, not that he won’t immediately be back like a son who forgives his father, Rafe just wants a family.
He wants his belly to swell, ribbons gently tied around his wrists as you sink down on his wet strap, your belly just as round. Barry’d sit on the edge of the bed and watch you writhe against each other, both of y’all too knee deep into bottom behavior to do much more than hump and cry. He’d lean in, act like he’s gonna kiss ya, then laugh right in your face as he pulls back, only to give it y’all for real when you and Rafe get that same murdery look on your faces.
You have way too similar ones, probably Barry’s fault, but he reeled y’all in and let the hooks in your mouths stay there until they rusted, stuck.
He wants to whine and moan about how sore his tits are, to hear you and Barry coo meanly and take care of it. He wants to know that no matter what happens, there will always be this red string woven between the three of you, doused in gasoline and frayed at both edges but it’s there and like hell will Rafe just let either of you cut it loose. It’s the uncertainty of knowing if Barry will even be around when he gets back that makes him cum, spurting a sad little couple gulp’s worth of watery white fluid.
His hefty thighs bulge around his arm, keeping his hand down so far inside, he resolves to fall asleep filled like that even if he’ll be so uncomfortable he’d rather hop on JJ again to distract from the pain.
Barry forgot to tuck his plugs in his pockets for him so he didn’t think to bring them himself.
#rafebarry#rafebarry x reader#rafe x barry#barry x rafe#rafe x reader#barry x reader#barry obx x reader#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks x reader#obx x reader#rafe cameron#barry obx#barry outer banks#transmasc character#tw yandere#(implied)#tw degradation#tw pregnancy#dead dove do not eat#⚰️.deaddove#consensual abuse#just block if you don’t fw this#dark content#tw dark content#tw dark themes
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nvm i think she isnt in she just left the dry cycle on the washing machine that's all
ughhhhh why is my flatmate home its not even 5. can she hurry up w her going out already
#which means she mustve taken a half day. so theyre meeting up all afternoon not just going out for drinks lmao#so it was just a bullshit excuse uninviting me bc i dont drink lol. this is a lot more planning too if shes taken leave for it#well its none of my business anyway. she did try to reinvite me bc she said she felt bad abt it but i turned her down#bc being invited out of pity is even worse than being invited out of obligation. and the entire time i would just be thinking abt how#none of them rly want me there and being trapped in a social situation while insecure is 100000x worse than dealing w it alone#it doesnt matter like i said none of my business. genuinely hope they have a nice time regardless#i just havent yet figured out how to gracefully cope with rsd and fomo so im gonna feel really shit abt it regardless!!!!#but i dont want to make that anyone elses problem bc its not anyone elses fault and i fucking hate being pitied i hate it#sucks that knowing im gonna feel like this in advance doesnt really help any more than when it comes out of nowhere#like when i feel bad i just feel fucking bad. theres no circumventing it. years of therapeutic techniques do fuck all#but ik i wont care tomorrow bc itll have passed. thats the thing abt experiencing everything in the moment every moment#i always know everything is temporary at least. so just gotta sit with it until then#im gonna play some elden ring. then consider if i wanna get pizza. and eat either way. and shower#and then if i need to deal with it ill deal with it. and if not well that would be nice wouldnt it. but i can already feel it kicking up#we'll see when we get there. its a neutral thing anyway like a coping mechanism is a coping mechanism. if it fulfils its function its fine#sorry for losing my shit again well i havent really im okay. it isnt that bad this time bc it doesnt have anything else attached#like this week has been pretty ok overall. so yknow#but still its kind of embarrassing u have to watch me do this twice within a single week lmao. im trying to work on it 👍#we love to experience the whole range of human emotion#.vent#.diaries
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funny thing about how i view the conflict in todays stream is that i view flame and wemmbu in very separate ways despite them doing essentially the same thing
in flames case:
i view his betrayal as ultimately a tragedy, their history all thrown aside due to a combination of wounded pride and genuine upset
if yall didnt see his chat for this stream it was actually really, really bad, like his chat is genuinely so fucking annoying oh my god and is a really good demonstration of why i think streamers should be mean to their chatters sometimes to so i actually wasnt at all surprised that he was so upset but i thought hed log off instead of acting out like this
he wanted respect but literally ruined the months long work of one of the few ppl that were willing to trust him over something that couldve been resolved if he just waited until september, but at the same time i can kinda understand why he was being so impulsive considering again his chat is Really bad, but at the end of the day that really shouldnt have been something you took out on one of your few allies like???? bruh even mocked zams storytelling as if he didnt do thee same shit as well 😭
honestly one of the reasons i was sad about his betrayal is cause it kinda sounded to me like he was genuinely about to cry at first??? maybe im just making shit up tho and he def stopped sounding like he was gonna cry after blowing up the spacewaffles tower lol
in wemmbus case:
i feel no pity for this man, he wanted conflict wherever he can get it and he got it! i think hes a lot like zam in that he just wants some attention and most importantly something to do but whatever happens to him next is his own fault lmao, i respect his honesty tho like hey he sucks but he knows what hes about at least lol
the fact that he still kept trying to get a commission from zam (or at least guilttripping him about it for lack of a better word) like bro i know you wanted to do a capitalism morality dilemma arc with zam but read the room my guy 😭
maybe hes at least a little mad that zam kept turning him away despite the fact he accepted a commission from mapicc of all ppl but like. bro. theres a reason zam called him a nightmare customer lmao
that being said you can tell hes not used to going this overboard considering he offered to help repair the tree when zam got upset lmao
idk i just thought his evilness was kinda funny, still hope he gets his shit kicked in spectacularly tho!
its funny, despite being acting like the shitty no reading comprehension version of abyss he gives me the exact same feeling of schadenfreude i did for minute back in s5 and i believe part of it is his mockery of lore and weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict particularly regarding zam
by weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict i mean both he and minute both tried to convince zam to see ''their side'' and ''reason'' but coming at it from an angle that completely misunderstands zam and when zam points it out they dismiss it and act like it means nothing because of their ''objective'' view of reality, spoiler alert! its not objective at all and they refuse to understand things from zams perspective cause they think hes just being unreasonable or something
idk overall i think their motivations for doing things are just kinda... shit lol
like ik theres some pretty obvious parallels that can be made with s5 here but the difference between the og players and flamebu aside from the lack of style and drama is that the og players waited several months before they started acting out the way they did and when they did start acting out tgey always made sure evryone who wanted to get involved Actually got involved rather than doing it while everyone was away plus their opps werent their own allies (except maybe pangi depending on how you look at it)
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Zosan fic preview :) basically the aftermath of a fight
-
Chopper speaks directly to Sanji. “Your ribs are bruised, and your neck. Other than some ointment, bandages, and painkillers, I can’t help much. This is going to take some time and ample rest to heal. Promise me you’ll take it easy, okay?”
Sanji laughs lightly, “those are the doctor’s orders. I promise.”
Chopper turns to Zoro. “Could you help him into a sitting position? You may need to support his weight while I bandage him.”
Zoro nods and turns to the cook. “This might hurt, are you good?”
Sanji huffs, “I’ll be fine, I’m not a— oh, oh, okay, ow—” he groans as Zoro holds him by his arm and lifts him up with a hand under his back.
Chopper nods in satisfaction. “Perfect, thanks Zoro.”
Zoro smiles teasingly at Sanji. “You’re being so brave, cook-san.”
“Oh shut it, you.” He feigns annoyance, but he’s smiling. Zoro’s hands remain in place. If the cook’s heavier breathing was indication, he probably couldn’t sit up by himself just yet. Sanji makes no protest, silently thankful for the physical support.
In just a few minutes, Chopper is done wrapping him up. “Here,” he holds out a few pills in front of Sanji, “take these.” He pulls out a small flask, “and here’s some water. Now, since you have bruising on your neck this may be painful. But I promise it’ll make you feel better overall.”
Sanji nods and pops the pills into his mouth, his expression becoming pained as he drinks the water and swallows. He huffs, “shit, if this is any indication of how eating is going to feel, this is gonna suck.”
“Don’t worry curly,” Zoro chimes in, “I can chew your food for ya.” What. Why did he say that.
“WHAT?” Sanji’s face is a tomato. Zoro is sure his is too.
“Uhhh,” Chopper speaks up, “I need to go get something, I’ll be back!” He runs out of the room.
“Zoro, what the hell—”
“Shit, I don’t even know.”
They avoid looking at each other, the silence between them growing increasingly awkward. Finally, Sanji breaks it.
“Was that an attempt at flirting?”
“What— no, I—”
“Because I know you can do better than that.”
Zoro blinks in bewilderment. “I’m sorry?”
Sanji, probably a bit out of his right mind from the pain, doesn’t back down. “If you’re gonna flirt with me, do it right. Tell me I have pretty eyes, or something.”
“You have pretty eyes.”
“You— did you just say that because I told you to, or do you mean it?”
“I mean it.”
“…Well.”
The silence is less uncomfortable, but more flustered.
“You have a nice nose… shape.”
Zoro is the amused one this time. He chuckles, “and you said mine was bad.”
Sanji gets defensive, “hey, that’s nowhere near as bad as what you said!”
“Alright, alright.” He thinks for a moment. “You have pretty hands.”
Sanji’s eyes shimmer at that, his expression becoming one of hope and appreciation.
“You really think so?” He asks softly.
Zoro nods and moves the hand holding the cook’s arm to lace their fingers together. He wordlessly turns the blond’s hand in his own, admiring it with soft eyes. “I’ve always thought so. You take really good care of them.”
Sanji smiles bashfully, looking down at their hands and observing how they interlock so perfectly. “I like your hands, too. I like how they’re different from mine,” he says thoughtfully, “They’re strong.”
“Yeah?” Zoro asks softly.
“Yeah,” Sanji confirms.
#I’m not gonna lie I audibly laughed writing that line from Zoro#it’s so stupid I had to keep it in#this fic is still far from done so don’t expect anything soon#zosan#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#zoro x sanji#zoro#zoro and sanji#sanji#one piece#zosan fic#chopper#one piece fic
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sing to me?
christopher sturniolo
summary.) you have a bad day at work and you want chris to sing to you
warnings.) annoying people, description of tangled hair, and use of y/n (once).
you sighed glancing up at the clock of the office that you worked at realizing you still had an hour and a half left of work.
your boyfriend, chris, had suggested that you came over after work and of course you agreed, but now you felt like you didn’t even have enough energy to walk to your car.
it was one of those days where everything sucked.
your head was pounding, your boss had yelled at you, your hair was tangled, and you just overall felt like shit.
and of course on the day you felt like shit you had work and your boyfriend had left early in the morning meaning you never saw him today.
“y/n” your boss kelly yelled “what’s up kelly?” you asked giving her your best fake smile. “you need to stay late, amanda has to leave early” she said then quickly turned around back to her office.
of course she let her favorite leave early and not me who has been here for almost 10 hours.
sorry gotta stay late 6:45 pm
you texted chris quickly so kelly didn’t yell at you again.
once 8:30 pm rolled around you were finally free. you stood up and almost fell over but luckily you made it to your car.
on the drive home you drove in silence and at the first red light everything came crashing down. tears started streaming down your face as you tried to pull a hair tie out of your tangled hair.
you sigh and decide to just give it up to the tangles and drive back to chris’.
as you enter through the door chris tackles you in a hug. as he does so he immediately notices the wet feeling on his chest. he pulls you back. “woah, ma. what’s wrong?” he asks kindly.
“m-my day was so bad. my boss yelled at me and then i had to stay late, i didn’t see you all day, and this fucking hair tie won’t come out of my tangled ass hair!” you sob.
“i’m so sorry baby. do you wanna take a shower and then we can cuddle?” he whispers kissing your nose.
“sure” you sigh.
he places a soft kiss on you lips you quickly kiss back softly moving your lips in sync. you pull back “i love you ma.” “i love you chris.”
after your shower you step out wearing chris’ tshirt and your sweat pants.
as you look up at chris you find him laying on the bed, with soft music playing in the background, holding your hair brush.
“c’mere” he whispers. you smile and plop down in between his legs. “okay im gonna try to be carful but this might hurt.”
“chris, i can do it myself. you don’t half to-“
he cuts you off “ i know honey, i want to do it, just relax,” he speaks.
you lean back into his chest as he smoothly brushes your hair.
the music in he background makes you have an idea. “chris?” you ask “hmm?” he replies
“can you sing to me?”
”whatever you want ma” he whispers.
he starts softly singing as he finishes up brushing your hair. you turn around and stuff your face into his chest as he continues to sing.
“you have a beautiful voice chris” you whisper lightly. “thank you baby so do you.” he says smiling.
chris keeps singing untill you fall asleep, “love you ma.” he sighs into your hair.
bad days are always that, bad. but a bad day can turn into a good one if you want it to. and chris just happens to love helping you repair your bad days and your always very grateful for that.
#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo triplets imagines#sturniolo triplets imagine#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo imagines#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo imagines#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut
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omg can i just say i love your work so much!! it’s so fun to read this i’m over the moon
anyways, i’m aiming to get an art degree! i’m so inspired by your work. is this just a hobby or is it a job? i’d love to make art my full time job when i’m older, tho it’s not known for being very sustainable. how do you make it work??
ALSO your expressions, the anatomy, the faces, the colors, all of it!!! i aspire to draw like you one day!!!!
thank youuu!!
also whoof as for advice... well, for starters, it depends on what specifically you're wanting to pursue. Is it a specialized diploma / degree in a specific trade like animation/illustration/graphic design? Or is it more like a university BA? I ask this not because one is better than the other, more so because different schooling is tailored to different aspects of the overall "arts" industry and whatever you're currently studying (or planning on studying) is gonna be up to you and what you're planning on doing, whether it's being a freelancer or going into a specific industry! (or doing a mix of both!)
So all that said, take my advice with mountains of salt!!! What worked (and didn't work) for me may not apply to you! But I hope in sharing my own experience that it might resonate with you or at least give you an experience to relate to in your present and future endeavors :>
For full transparency though (and this will be a bit of a personal anecdote so bear with me): I am absolutely 100% not making a living off Rekindled, more so that it's just a side thing that I do that's supplemented by my actual job, which is tattooing. So by definition, Rekindled is a hobby! (and one that I very much enjoy doing and keeping as a hobby!)
But tattooing is also pretty rough right now, when I'm making money the money is great, but when I'm not, it feels like the same grind that every artist is on, trying desperately to get people to notice me and buy my work haha
I wish I could say that there's a moment where it all just "clicks" and everything falls into place, but it's more like... you just learn to take the good with the bad, and most importantly, you learn how to prepare for the bad so it's a little less bad the second and third and tenth time around. I know that sounds super bleak, but that's just the cycle of life in general - things aren't always good, we just do what we can to work through the bad times so we can find those good times and come out stronger each and every time.
I'm currently in one of those bad times, and I have been pretty much this entire year. The slow season that I thought would end around March... didn't. So with the slow season now turning into a slow year, it finally happened - a couple months ago, I picked up a retail job. It sucked to have to do because I quit retail YEARS ago in the hopes that I'd never have to return to it and that tattooing would always provide for me, but life has changed since then.
Despite this, I am in a very unique and privileged situation where I can "afford" to have slow seasons at work, but I'm also like... well aware that that can't last forever so I'm doing what I can now to slow the decay until it hopefully picks up again. I'm doing what I can, but ultimately, I know a lot of the circumstances of the past year have been due to the state of the world in general, which is far outside of my control. So I do what I can within my control instead, and that eventually included having to go back to retail.
Thankfully the retail job I work is great and I get to work with really cool people, so it's not all bad! But it definitely felt bad in the beginning because of the internalized shame I had towards going back to retail. Almost felt like I was proving to everyone else - especially within the tattoo industry - that I wasn't "cut out" for it.
But now that I'm doing it... I know that that's not true, and I frankly don't care what opinions people could have about it, because at the end of the day, the economy is shit right now and we all gotta do what we gotta do to survive. And having those couple shifts a week in retail means I can continue to keep doing what I do through both tattooing and making comics, because now I have more income coming in. And that is, overall, a good thing :)
Working retail to help make ends meet doesn't make me any less of an artist. It's just that making a living at this is difficult and isn't guaranteed to be a "happily ever after" type thing where you just "find a job" and the rest sorts itself out later. This is also something that applies to any field / career in general, life happens and things can change a LOT so on the one hand, that can be a hopeful blessing because it means you never have to be stuck where you are right now, you CAN keep moving forward towards the things that you're hoping for; but also, it can suck ass because it means even when the going is good, it's never forever.
When it comes to the art world specifically... regardless of whether or not the going's good, the important thing is to keep creating and keep moving forward.
Buuuut I guess if I had any real advice to offer beyond waxing poetic about my personal experiences, especially to those seeking an art degree - learn the business side too. Because in reality, there's a lot more to doing art as your job than just drawing. In fact, I would say that once you start doing art as your job, the actual creating is often forced to take a backseat to the things you have to do to make your art profitable in the first place - like marketing/networking, attending art markets, collaborating with other artists, running an online shop, building a clientele, etc.
So if you have the opportunity to do a class or two in marketing or event coordinating or anything under the umbrella of "business" that could supplement your art degree, please consider it! The art world is competitive, but that doesn't mean you can't give yourself a competitive edge by arming yourself with skills that others may not consider; and I do find a lot of people entering these fields tend to just completely forget or overlook the fact that doing art as a job means turning it into a business, which means you're gonna have to sharpen the business-adjacent skill sets alongside your art.
And I say this from experience, I SUCK at doing the business side of things because a lot of it I'm either really bored by or really bad at. Marketing myself on social media feels like an exercise in futility. Filing my taxes is torture. But those are still skills that are often necessary that I'm pushing myself to get better at - it's just often really hard to learn it through trial and error so taking classes would have probably helped me out a lot LMAO
It can be boring and it's not art, but it's still worth learning. Learn how to apply to art markets, learn how to file taxes as a self-employed individual, learn how to create a CV and portfolio for the industry you're interested in, learn how to decipher your metrics and statistics, learn how to offer quality customer service. These are all things that are, again, extremely worth learning, but also often overlooked when we think of "making a living off art", especially when it comes to freelancing.
That's pretty much the extent of the advice I can offer, at least in terms of the broad subject matter of "getting an art degree" and "making a living at art". I'm ironically sorta the worst person to ask when it comes to that, though, because there are times - like right now - when I'm very much not making that living! And it's requiring that I change my game plan so that I can continue to live - it doesn't mean I've given up on my art, it just means that right now my art can't pay my bills so I have to find another way to get by until they can again.
And of course, it cannot be understated that the circumstances in which I exist are different from yours. It's kinda like asking a Youtuber "how to get famous on Youtube", because the circumstances that made a Youtuber famous will vary widely from other Youtubers. For some people it was years of hard work and slowly building up an audience, others may have been an overnight sensation, and for anyone the ability to make videos on Youtube at all is dependent on what else is going on in their lives that allows them the time and energy and resources to do so. Sure, we kinda know what the end result "looks like", but how you get to that point is largely influenced by other factors and can't be summarized in some "how to" video beyond the general advice of "here's how to make a video for Youtube" "here's how to make an appealing thumbnail" and "here's how to engage with your community". Many of those famous Youtubers are following the exact same formulas as the smaller Youtubers, they just had other factors influencing their career path that got them to fame first / faster / etc.
I can create Rekindled the way I do now because I have a decade of experience already creating multi-panel comics with longform storytelling on a deadline, but someone who's just starting out in webcomics probably wouldn't be able to do exactly what I'm doing; just like how I can't ever perfectly replicate the look and vibe of Rachel's original work, because her work exists through the experiences and circumstances of her life which I could never copy because they're unique from my own.
When I am making good money again, it will still be influenced by other factors - some within my control, some purely circumstantial - that are unique to me that can't be summed up for the benefit of other artists.
If I were to hypothetically write you a guide on "how to make a living at art" based purely on my own life experiences, it would go something like:
Step 1: Spend your whole childhood drawing weeb anime art and writing Legend of Zelda fanfiction
Step 2: Get a diploma in 2D Animation from a for-profit school that puts you $25k in the hole
Step 3: Work at Starbucks for half a decade and then on your days off work on a really long comic series that you plan to spend the rest of your life making
Step 4: Get hired to do a tattoo apprenticeship with a shitty mentor who treats you like shit
Step 5: Work a bunch of other retail jobs while trying to survive your apprenticeship and then eventually find a job in a basement shop that happens to have a spare bed
Step 6: Survive COVID on savings, root beer, and that really long comic series that you're still working on but isn't getting read by more than 10 people
Step 7: Get really obsessed with an online webtoon that you love; then get really mad about it when that online webtoon turns to shit which motivates you to create an entire blog just to talk shit about it and make a fan comic rewrite about it
Step 8: Get a really cool readerbase from that fan comic through the pre-existing community of shit-talkers that you joined who now ask you questions like "how to make a living at art" which you're not even sure how to answer because you don't know if what you do can even be called a "living"
Step 9: ???
Step 10: Profit ?? Sometimes??
Yeah, not very helpful to literally anyone but myself (and not even myself because if past me was asking present me this question, they'd probably be very confused by my answer LOL)
That was a lot of words, but I hope at least a few of them help arm you with the confidence to pursue your goals!! A lot of it might also sound scary, but remember that the path is long and the scary times don't last forever. That path will often take turns you couldn't have anticipated, but that's okay! Ride along with it and see where it takes you - there's always joy to be found in this line of work so long as you keep moving forward and keep your eyes open for it <3
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i thought of this shi in class so why not give it to u
ngl u be needin more kaulitz twin stuff they be so cute💀 any type of fic bro i do not careeeeeee headcannons or fic u choose cuz im too lazy too🥰
ANYWAY
ahem
kaulitz twins bro who got a bf who is jus mean asf💀 like he's always mad n shi like there is no 'soft spot' for them tf he'll cuss them mfs out too just cause they started dating aint mean SHIT🙅🏾🙅🏾🙅🏾 he will back hand them no hesitation(too far but he still gon push em or smth)
but another thing i thought of is if he realized he actually hurt they feelings bro maybe at the same time or separate idk(bill or tom didnt say anything or show it but you could see) and since he doesn't know how to say sorry bro decided to be nice and fucking sweet🤷🏾 jus for a lil while tho🧍🏾making them food waking them up(IN A NICE WAY) giving them hugs letting them hug him(bro prolly hit them if they tried to hug him before) kiss them n shi doing cute couple stuff bro the basics he does not follow😪🤞🏾
a thought jus crossed me tom thinkin his bf fuckin broke like r u good🤨🤨🤨
KAULITZ TWINS X MEAN READER
doing seperate cuz i CANNOT write rn idek brah m gonna quit or smthhh 😭😭😭
BILL:
・I feel like he loves affection so much 🙁🙁
・He understands boundaries, he makes sure not to cross them
・BUT DEAR GOD HE JUS WANTS TO HOLD YOUUUUUU
・Pouts a little when you swat his hand away but overall tries not to make a big deal 'outta it
"don't hug me brah."
"....my bad."
・His love language has to do with more physical touch so it PAINS the mf but like 🤷🏻🤷🏻
・Sometimes the things you would say to him stung, but he knows that's just how you are and you don't mean to intentionally hurt him...or he hopes so.
・It gets to the point when he's blinking back tears, shrugging his shoulders and looking anywhere but you
・nahhh tbh he probably thinks he's dreaming when you start being nice
・like if YOU stretch out your arms for a hug? he's running to you and laughing omll
・If you only do this for a few days he takes ADVANTAGE of it.
・bro does not leave your side...like at all.
TOM:
・not that big on physical affection himself, he likes it but can definitely go without it
・Although it sucks he can't occasionally hug you or pull you to his side, often daydreams of holding you like that even though you're already together 🙁
・Doesn't know how to feel if you push his hand away, swat him on the arm, etc
・Like...bro's kinda sad but he knows you love him...hopefully. 💀
・Randomally slugging him in the arm? ohh shit he's mad
・DOESN'T REALLY LIKE YELL BUT OH MY LORDDD
"m/n what the fuck."
"wha'd i do?"
・He doesn't really care if you say something rude or snarky, words don't really get to him
・But damnn bro's getting cussed out and all he wanted to do was hold your hand while walking 😭😭😭
・EEEE MAKING HIM BREAKFAST IN BED? bro thinks your playing a trick on him tbh
"here, tom." and then it's just a plate full of fucking eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc.
・he thinks you're acting strange but bro gobbles that shit DOWNNN
#grammar is not going well rn#mb lol#tokio hotel x female reade#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel x male reader#tokio hotel x you#tokio hotel#bill kaulitz x you#bill kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz x male reader#bill kaulitz#tom kaulitz x male reader#tom kaulitz x y/n#tom kaulitz x you#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz#is that it idek
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hobie brown dating a mall goth hcs
hobie brown x mall goth!reader
request?: yes
request: “Hiiii!!! I am absolutely IN LOVE with ur the clash series and I can’t wait to see how it progresses!!! Could u do some pda/general affection hcs for the spider verse characters? I would love to see Miles and Hobie hcs but it’s rlly up to whatever characters u would wanna write for. Endless thanks!!”
requested by: anon
warnings: language, mentions of stealing
a/n: this request made me cackle. mall goths are so iconic lol thank you for the request! i hope you enjoy.
───────────────────────────────────
- OH MY GOD LMAO
- side note i wanted to be a mall goth so bad when i was like 13 lmao
- just launder outside of a hot topic with all my black hot topic merch on
- they shoulda paid mall goths for advertising man lemme just say
- but let’s get into it
- when he first met you
- admittedly he thought you were a poser
- but when he got to know you
- he understood that you were part of a subculture within a subculture
- you weren’t a poser
- you were exactly what you said you were
- and he respected it
- and he respected you
- okay so he wouldn’t hate all of your music
- most of it?
- yes
- he did not enjoy listening to quite a bit
- but omg every time he wasn’t immediately put off by a song
- you add it to your LISTEN AROUND HOBIE playlist
- his only rule when it comes to listening to your music is NO M*RILYN M*NSON
- and if you don’t know what that means
- good, you don’t need to
- wish i didn’t
- but he will always
- and i mean always
- sit and listen to whatever you wanna show him
- he’ll never outwardly say a song sucks to you
- only that it isn’t his style of music
- of course, sometimes you ask him to explain further
- just so you know what songs to play and not play for him
- “Why don’t you like it?”
“Just not my style, love.”
“You always say that. What about this song don’t you like? I won’t be upset, I just am curious.”
“Fine, with this specific song i ‘ate the lyrics. Too… emo? I guess? Not in the mood to be sad about m’sef.”
- he just loves seeing you vibing to your songs
- so he isn’t really gonna shit on you for liking any of it
- that’s what they want him to do
- he isn’t gonna >:(
- in fact
- he can, will, and has gone to shows with you
- it’s not his music and he can acknowledge that
- but again
- you like it
- and he loves watching you be happy
- something he actually does very heavily fuck with about your mall goth ways
- is your clothes
- he could do without the various band merch
- mainly because he doesn’t like the bands all that much
- but the rest of it?
- he actually likes
- he enjoys that you do have some splashes of color in your style every now and again
- and that there are loud patterns clashing with each other sometimes
- he can also really appreciate all the spikes and studs and chains on your clothes, too
- he also likes that he knows exactly what to get you as gifts
- does he buy the shit you talk about?
- absolutely not
- steal it?
- now you’re onto something
- he’s gotten you like 7 Jack Skellington plushies
- all different
- and each time you love them
- and sometimes
- sometimes
- he will even go hang out at the mall with you
- but it’s not often
- he’s usually too preoccupied with the Spider-Man gig
- or his shows
- but sometimes he likes to surprise you
- and show up when you’re with your friends
- but yeah
- he overall doesn’t like the music, necessarily
- but he also doesn’t give a fuck about labels
- you can call yourself whatever you want
- he likes you as a person
- and that’s all that matters to him
───────────────────────────────────
#hobie brown hcs#hobie brown headcanons#spiderpunk headcanons#spiderverse headcanons#hobie brown#spiderpunk#spiderverse
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Topic of Today: Pretentious feminism online and the slow development into internalized misogyny.
Popular terms/ideologies in Girl world I feel contributes to this!
1. Girl dinner
2. “I'm just a girl”
3. Girl Math
4. Pick me
5. Girls Girl
1. Girl Dinner: As defined by urban dictionary GIRL DINNER is a tik tok trend where girls eat random food which is comforting and or is a childhood food. Basically a combo of some random foods. Like every other trend it started off pretty innocent until it was repackaged as a means of promoting eating disorders. Extremely low cal food that lacks every bit of nutrition is romanticized with a cute pink bow.
2. "I'm just a girl": The phrase “I'm just a girl” was kind of a spin to “let boys be boys”, something we've all commonly heard in the past when a young man does something stupid but is still excused for it. I watched this video essay by Alisha not Alisha and in the comments someone quotes "You're not "healing your inner child" - you're regressing into ignorance.” and that's exactly how I feel about this trend.
"I'm just a girl" should be a fun quote to piss off men who hate traditionally feminine things, not a hoax to justify your shitty behaviour.
3. Girl Math: The third one has to be my least favorite, especially as someone who loves math. It just reinforces the whole dumb blonde ideology, infantilizes women and justifies bad financial decisions/overconsumption. The whole overconsumption issue is probably one of women's bigger issues. Like I saw multiple videos of where girls tried to use girl math to justify the ridiculous amounts they spend MONTHLY on clothes.
Yeah, let's not....
Trends like these easily turn into a marketing ploy for brands and we just end up spending money on useless shit cus the caught ur short ass attention span lmao.
4. Pick me: I feel like the term pick me became popular around the pandemic (I might just be too young lmao), so I'm just gonna start around there. At first it was to actually call out women who were in fact pick mes. A pick me is a girl who brings down other girls for male validation btw.
It's as simple as that.
It's not a girl who has different interests from other girls and a lot of people have failed to understand that. The entire point is not that pick me's have different interests from other girls, it's that they weaponize their "different" interests to gain attention from the opposite gender. So no, a girl who isn't so feminine or doesn't practice stereotypical feminine things isn't a pick me, neither is she trying to be "different".
The word has been really thrown around and 60% of the time it's just cus the accuser doesn't like the accused.
5. Girls Girl: A girls girl is the opposite of a pick me, a girl who supports other girls. But guess what my support is very much conditional!
Girls are humans.
Humans suck, they are capable of being bad ppl and making bad decisions. Aside from the basic support like providing menstrual products when In need or defending each other from misogyny, my support is conditional. That was originally the intention of the whole girls girl thing, understanding female struggles and supporting each other in those aspects.
Not dick riding each other and giving our unconditional love to people who don't deserve it. It has turned into a thing where women are immune to criticism from other women. And anytime a woman calls out another woman for something genuinely bad they aren't a “girls girl” or they are “hating like a man” .
Women, just like men aren't immune to criticism.
Overall, all these trends always start with the innocent intentions of enabling women to enjoy themselves. They slowly develop into toxic trends that do absolutely nothing for the feminists movement and allow for internalized misogyny. Trends like this will forever pop up, let us be careful with the media we consume. I'm talking about it because I've seen it in real life and it affects how women and especially young girls coexist with one another.
That's it,
Au Revoir.
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hi its birthmark anon! weird lore from me i guess i dont mean to trauma dump because my dad is fine lmfao but i HATED that scene because of the “your dad is still alive” line. my dad had heart issues when i was a kid to the point he needed open heart surgery and i remember so clearly my aunt saying something similar to my mom in front of us when he was hospitalized. my mom said she couldnt make thanksgiving dinner because my dad was in the hospital and she had to take care of me and my 3 siblings who were all pretty young kids (i was 11 i think and my younger brother was 9. i remember thinking my dad was gonna die) and my aunt was like “at least you have a family”. we didnt see her for like 5 years after that lmfao
also the “you guys need your own hospital wing” line also frustrated me because i had my own health problems as a kid (im alright now) and people ALWAYS made those sorts of comments to me. i didnt even register the daddy shit until later and that only made the scene worse because while it felt like buck was trying to lighten the mood and make it something they have in common but tommy dismissed it AGAIN. like its not even about sexual jokes to me its about him being an asshole in every scene he’s in 😭
anyway thanks for the birthmark clownery i doubt kim will return but we had fun 🫶 this whole discourse is dumb because the scene just sucked. if they wanted me to believe tommy gave a single fuck they shouldve had him come to the hospital abd they should also address the role he played in the gerrard shit for hen and chimney because they HAVENT and it drives me NUTS
anyway love you bye
Hi birthmark anon!!
Dw Im always down for a good trauma dump like one of my friends and I legit never spoke to eachother before despite being in the same class for a year but only became friends because a cancelled class led to us trauma dumping to eachother for our first proper conversation for like 2 hrs
Omg can’t believe your aunt said that that’s actually so iffy, but yess exactly the “your dad is still alive” line was just so so bad and I hated it sm like idk if you saw my replies on my other post or not cos I put it in much more in depth way there but like I too am a traumatised girlie and if someone said that shit about my bio dad I would literally lose it cos it’s one of those things that get said so much to traumatised people and it’s honestly a big no from me
Like sure SOME traumatised people MAY regret not fixing it but also it might not be fixable and you don’t know the situation and also maybe they won’t either way that’s their prerogative
and sometimes what’s right for them at the time isn’t what’s right for them long term and all these things are fine
Like me personally if my dad dropped dead right now I would genuinely celebrate and feel not a single ounce of regret and that’s fine and id deck anyone who said it’s not
Like if Tommy has his own trauma and feelings about his dad and their relationship then that’s fine but this sort of imposed rhetoric on another traumatised person is just a no from me
The hospital wing line is another thing that I didn’t see mentioned but bucks face DID flip but that’s a whole other debate yeah
See that’s the thing like I know I have Tommy loving followers but I personally dislike him cos they haven’t gave him (imo) substance or like enough other than sardonic comments and shit
Rip our fun with the Kim and buck parallels you’ll always be famous🫡
But yeah like even if people liked Tommy and bucktommy I feel like they can blame the writing or execution or context but like overall not liking that scene it’s not just about hating Tommy or bucktommy imo
YES THEY COULDVE PLAYED IT SO DIFFERENTLY IF THEY WANTED TO DEVELOP TOMMY AND BUCKTOMMY AND IT DEEPLY CONFUSES ME WHY THEY HAVENT IF THEYRE CARRYING IT INTO S8
Anyways also love ya byee🫶🫶🫶🫶
#911#evan buckley#911 abc#911 fox#911onfox#evan buck buckley#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#fandom discourse#911 discourse
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So, I just finished Astro Bot.
I'm gonna get this out of the way immediately: this game is a fucking masterpiece in my eyes. A genuinely flawless game. If you don't wanna read this whole long ass yapfest I wanna just say this upfront. If you own a PS5 and don't own this game, you are doing yourself a disservice. With that out of the way, allow me to glaze the fuck out of this game.
Before I start with the game itself I wanna talk about Production Value because holy shit it is off the fucking charts here. Every inch of this game is fucking gorgeous. Water is so good Mario WiiU would be brought to tears. Particles and physics objects are everywhere, to the point where it feels like Team Asobi was just showing off with what the PS5 was capable of. I have no issues calling it the best looking PS5 game. Sure, God of War or The Last of Us Part 1 may look better technically but Astro Bot's artstyle combined with a locked 60fps that I didn't notice dip once despite the amount of stuff on screen at once pushes it over the edge for me. On top of that, the music is incredible. Every level has a new tune that you'll sometimes just sit down and listen to for a moment before starting a level. Slo-Mo Casino, Crash Site, and Sky Garden are highlights for me but the whole soundtrack is incredibly good.
But that doesn't really mean much if the game kinda sucks, so I am glad to report that Astro Bot might be the best controlling 3D platformer I have ever played. Everything just feels like it has the just right amount of fine tuning. Astro's jump is just right between floaty and weighty, and his hover helps mitigate platforming mistakes without being essentially a get out of jail free card. His attack is basic but you can also damage enemies by hovering, and the game switches it up often enough for it to not feel repetitive. The levels compliment the control perfectly. While Astro Bot is generally a pretty easy game, I don't think that's a bad thing because of how comfortable it feels to play. Everything just feels good. Every time you mess up a jump, it feels like your fault instead of the game's. This rings true even in the face button challenges (which is what im calling them for lack of a better term lol). These little challenges, themed around the Sony face buttons, can be a lot more challenging than the regular game, but they remain fair. Even the final challenge of the game to get the last bot is a fair challenge. The game never resorts to cheap deaths which makes it way more fun than some other "difficult" games. The boss fights are also really good. The wait times between attacks always remained interesting to me because the pace of everything just felt snappy. They never last more than a few minutes and by the time you're done with them they don't overstay their welcome. They're always a nice change of pace from the main game. Also, going for completion never felt like a slog. I got all 301 bots (missing 4 because my playroom file got deleted on accident :/), all puzzle pieces, and all achievements and I was never bored. Just goes to show how incredible the gameplay is.
The story is nothing super complex but I like it for what it is. Basically an Alien just decided to be a jerk and stole the pieces from the PS5 and scattered all the bots and it's up to Astro to fix everything up. Not the most inspired story ever but that's not really an issue imo. The main alien is constantly bullying the CPU of the PS5 and it's honestly really funny to watch the scenes. For a game without any dialogue they really put their all into the story and I personally think they did an amazing job with the story.
Overall, like I said at the beginning of this, Astro Bot is a masterpiece. Everything this game sets out to do, it not only succeeds, but excel's at. This game doesn't have a single bad level or dull moment. I am not kidding when I say I don't even have any dumb nitpicks to muster up. Astro Bot is a perfect game in my eyes and Team Asobi should be goddamn proud of themselves for releasing a game this fucking good.
Astro Bot gets a 10/10 from me. Please go buy and play this game. It's wonderful.
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