#but only just barely

[alexandriaellisart]

suburban legends

[getvalentined]

Vincat Nyalentine wonders why his boyfriend is suddenly so small. (Cloud will explain the concept of plushies to he when he gets home.)

[my-deer-friend]

Jeanne du Barry: A review

I watched it, so you don’t have to!

There was a preview screening of Jeanne du Barry that coincided with a presentation on 18th century fashion and hygiene, so I figured that would make for a pleasant Sunday. The lecture by Marta Veil was splendid.

The movie was… not.

I wasn't expecting greatness, really, but I also wasn't expecting it to fail in quite so many ways. Shall we count them?

First, it falls flat as a piece of cinema. The ponderous shots just scream second-year-film-student-auteur. The narration, usually a gimmick, is critical because the directorial vision seems to have been “tell, don’t show”. It’s all glamour with no heart, a faux-profound fashion parade that fails to let its consequential story beats resonate on any emotional or narrative level. Despite being told about the constant danger than Jeanne is in, we never feel it. Despite witnessing her tragedies, we don't empathise.

The lead actor-director gives du Barry none of the wit, charm or depth you would expect of the subject of a biography, and most characters are either outrageous caricatures (the evil, Alice in Wonderlandian step-daughters, complete with heart-shaped perms) or have the nuance and magnetism of an untoasted slice of white bread (the Dauphin, a key side character, shows not a single discernible character trait besides “aloof”).

Second, it fails as a biography. Maïwenn, the woman responsible for this mess, has apparently been trying to bring this story to life for over a decade - and then manages to give us nothing more than the blow-for-blow you can get from the du Barry Wikipedia article - dryness and all.

(It’s also exceedingly clear that Maïwenn got more than a little 'inspired’ by Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette, and ironically - given their historical rivalry and the way Coppola's Antoinette was lifted wholesale from her film - the Dauphine outshines du Barry completely here.)

Despite being a biography, the movie devotes very little attention to Jeanne’s coming of age - and almost no time (literally, a 30-second narration) to the 12+ years of her life after Louis’ death, which include such dramatic things as her being betrayed by her servants, tried and executed in the wake of the French Revolution. Very little of her internal world is explored - so we don’t really understand what drives her, and even when she expresses her goals it comes across as insincere.

The bulk of the movie focuses on Jeanne’s time as Louis XV’s lover. That’s understandable, I guess - people want the sexy, sparkly intrigues, not the convent drudgery - but the movie doesn’t do any work to embrace the politics and scandal surrounding her on more than the meanest surface level. I mean - "this is Versailles!" (A line that’s cribbed verbatim from Coppola.) Where are the machinations, the manoeuvres? The only meaningful drama we get is domestic. Louis’ daughters don’t like his mistress. They’re mean to her. And… that’s it.

Most egregiously, the movie makes the unrecoverable error of losing grasp of its own point of view. We ostensibly follow Jeanne for most of the movie, in what is made out to be a limited first-person perspective. But when she’s banished from Versailles, we get to witness the unfolding events without her. After all, the death of Louis XV is surely more interesting than some woman bundled off to a convent (wait— who is this movie about…?) and so we stay with him - and miss the opportunity to follow Jeanne and empathise with her isolation, fear and grief.

If the goal of the movie was to humanise and rehabilitate du Barry, then maybe she shouldn’t have been made so vapid, boring and lacking in agency that her own biography lost interest in her.

Third, it fails as a historical piece. Not entirely - some of the men’s fashions are sumptuous and on point, Marie Antoinette is chef’s-kiss, and Versailles looks splendid on screen - but that makes the rest worse, somehow.

Again, we get Coppola plagiarism, in the form of Louis’ morning dressing routine (with the same comical play on the endless steps and bored attendants), as well as in many of du Barry’s fish-out-of-water moments.

But the movie forgets its own rules and context. For example, we’re told that “no one except the Dauphin is allowed to turn their back on the king” - a rule that’s respected until about midway in the movie, at which point, its plot purpose exhaused, it's forgotten entirely. Jeanne is also surprisingly enlightened about racial equality, showcased in painful scenes with Zamor, her black… servant? slave? Although it’s not really clarified on screen, the former is heavily implied, which would be gross revisionism.

Even Louis is treated with a strange sort of familiarity, left to mill around with his guests in the hall of mirrors or stroll the gardens with his hair undone.

As for the clothing… I can’t bear to deep-dive into the entirety of the mess, but here are a few examples of just how lazy the styling is.

Now, when he’s done up in his finery, Louis XV actually looks grand - and even (what a rarity) has very decent period men’s make-up. But then it’s clowns all the way down. Take this shot.

Just behind him is his daughter, sporting a top-of-the-pops 1980s crimped blowout, and beside her is the Dauphin of France - though you could be mistaken for thinking he’s some fella getting to pose for a romance novel cover in the world's most ill-fitting suit. (I don’t recall this man tying his hair up one single time for the duration of the movie.)

Some of the critique is a little nitpicky, yes - for example, du Barry wears this outfit to be formally presented to the king:

The big hair and ostrich feathers are a decade too early (stop trying to be Marie Antoinette: The Unauthorised Prequel already), the makeup is mid 2000s, and the necklace... the less said about it, the better. But at least an attempt was made!

But this?

And this???

0.5 out of 5 stars. It would have been zero on account of all the plagiarism, but a half-star is given for the cameo of Elizabeth Vigée Le Brun.

[pushing500]

Recruited a pair of impid raiders, a very sad and sorry-for-himself lad named Nehachrach Kaznove (Kaz for short), and a kind of scary lady named Farov Fovnath, or...

Fafo :)

They became best friends in prison, which I thought was cute, but now that they're actually colonists, they have spiralled into a loop of friend-zoning each other and getting upset about it. It's very amusing. Never change, Rimworld.

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[kactusnz]

oh my god the onion is going OFF

[aparticularbandit]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALL ME PLAIN JUNKO

[paintedcrows]

Gravity Text Post (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

anyways good episode

[the-onions-art]

I HOPE TO GOD NO ONE DREW THIS BEFORE I DID

[macabresymphonies]

His inherent bitchiness and autistic swag is coming through even in Javascript, I'm crying

[the-breath-in-air]

And its a Pedro Almodóvar film?

I have never been so excited for something in my life.

Strange Way of Life (2023) trailer + Tumblr reactions

[peachsukii]

It’s a blessing, and a curse, to let someone else besides Bakugo drive the van on the annual bakusqaud road trip. Kirishima and Kaminari were too engrossed in their own conversation, never looking back at you two for long periods of time.

It was early afternoon, but car rides always make you sleepy. You thought curling up in your boyfriend’s lap in the back seat would be cute, peaceful, but no - this fucker couldn’t keep his hands off of you. For a grueling two hours, he was nothing but a tease, grinning like the devil over your squirming whenever he’d touch you. Bakugo played it off at first, gently running his fingers through your hair or rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone lovingly at your drowsy stupor. It escalated when your crop top rode up, exposing your bralette and tempting him. Thank god you were facing the back of the seat and not the boys up front.

It was subtle squeezes at first, “brushing” over your chest when he’d lay his hand on your ribs or move to rub your back. Bakugo would inch his fingers to your stomach, quietly shifting to cop a feel and act like nothing happened. When he saw your brows scrunch, he decided to push further, splaying his hand across your chest and teasingly slipping two fingers under the bralette to pinch your nipple, flicking and twisting it between his finger pads. His ego inflated when your legs twitched at his touch, a soft groan falling from your lips. It didn’t take long until he was practically using your tits as stress balls, his insatiable hunger for you taking over.

Bakugo didn’t even realize that Kirishima turned into a gas station to refuel and grab some snacks until the van was parked, too caught up in his game to notice.

“Need anything, bro?” He asks over his shoulder. “Kami and I are grabbing snacks, too.”

“Nah, we’re good. Gonna get out and stretch.”

Kirishima and Kaminari head into the store while the two of you exit the van and take a lap around the parking lot. That’s when you notice the bathroom on the side of the building, door propped open and no key needed.

Before he can stop you, you’ve got Bakugo by the collar and bolt for it, practically dragging him behind you. He’s yelling something along the lines of “what the fuck, woman?!” until you’re both inside the grimy one person bathroom, slamming the door behind you. You let go of his shirt and shove him into the rusty sink, pouncing on him like an animal.

“You think you can get away with all that, Katsuki?” You growl, emphasizing his name as a warning. “This is a fight you always lose.”

“Someone’s suddenly—” he tries to argue but the words die in his throat when your hand ferociously grips at his cock through his shorts. His face loses composure at the contact, flushing scarlet instantly.

“That’s what I thought.” You pause to bite his neck, pink teeth marks left in your wake. “You started this, babe. You’ve got two minutes, make it count.”

[ravenpureforever]

On one hand, Young Justice is kind of neglected by the actual superheroes that should be looking out for them in a lot of crucial ways and very much failed by the adults around them

But on the other hand Red Tornado straight up hosts a parent-teacher conference where their respective legal guardians all show up, barring Batman who’s in traffic so Nightwing fills in instead because Robin’s dad does not know he’s a vigilante which is objectively hilarious

[trauma-bot]

patron saint of never growing old

[emacrow]

Alfred's day off came as he went for a visit that cause suspicious in the batfam.

Alfred was looking rather energetic and enthusiastic as he was fixing himself up in the mirror, cleaning any lint and dust on his casual clothes.

The batfam has been noticing he is getting more excited that he even made everyone's favorite lunch in record time as today was one of alfred rarest day off.

Tim on the other hand is thinking that alfred might be dating someone, because he saw alfred bring light blue letters that had a soft jasmine smell.

Bruce believes Tim finally lost his marble because when does alfred had the time to date around.?

Until Dick mentioned that even old people get lonely and tend to matchmake in the form of letters like the good old days..

Which right now the batfam and Bruce leading them are currently spying on Alfred far enough where they think he wouldn't noticed them stalk- observating him.

Alfred was picking up a couple of presents, one that had plants, another had old Techno theme, one with birds, a fire theme one and a space theme present that he loaded his car with along with a stuffie bear.

Steph thinks that he could be visiting relatives at that point..?

While Bruce was remaining quiet with a calculating glint in his eyes.

They follow alfred all the ways to the one of the barely remaining clean parks, where a another young man sat with a orange hair little girl in a light greenish blue dress, a sleeping baby girl in a bassinet on a picnic blanket with a purple clock theme pattern, as he watches 4 toddlers playing and squealing around a oddly colored puppy.

Two toddlers look like a bait-adoptable bait even if both has stripes of white in their hair and one had red eyes, one toddler had blonde hair with the tips being black with purple eyes and a lightest greenish skin tone, and the remaining toddler was Egyptian African American looking with how he playing with a odd toy phone that look Egyptian theme before being dragged along to play by the green dog snatching his toy phone.

Alfred brought the presents along sitting down with the now seemingly much older man..

Jason seemed to noticed that nobody else is noticing that that guy holding the clock like staff is literally shifting from young, to adolescent, to young adult, and elderly man beside himself when he voiced his concerns.

They weren't close enough to hear what the two were saying, but the little girl with the orange hair was speaking mostly before looking up with tearful green teal eyes at alfred who went to comfort the girl.

[annomalysstuff]

I made a compilation of references for the main tmnt characters from every iteration and I thought it would be helpful, so I’m posting it here :]👍

I brightened the saturation in some so it’s more readable

Also, this is so cute, I’m keeping this

Edit: I forgot about bay Donnie, updated version