#and because of that ive been following the story as it developed
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tibli · 6 days ago
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i have been trying to figure out why the whole 'fae god' and katniss everdeen things with kendrick lamar on here were bothering me, and i think i finally put it into words.
most posts like that are probably coming from well-meaning white people (i am also partially a White People, to be clear), who otherwise dont really listen to rap. they cannot find a way to 'relate' to this black man who sings largely about issues that affect the black community– and rather than try and meet him where he is, they have to fit him into these little tumblr cultural boxes before he can be 'palatable' to them.
they have to shave off the rougher/more abrasive aspects of his work and activism because it makes them uncomfortable, that way they can pigeonhole him into something that allows them to enjoy his work without the critical analysis that MUST come with it
he is not your fae god, he is not a YA protagonist, he is not a little gremlin or a cinnamon roll or a blorbo. He is a human being with opinions and beliefs that deeply permeate his work, and to ignore that truth is to ignore the entire point. PLEASE try to engage with artists' work outside of the lens of tumblr fandom, and i mean that as nicely as possible. you are doing YOURSELF a disservice
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fujouppy · 2 months ago
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watched whitepine 1. i think i want to gather all my thoughts on part 1 before moving on to the next installments but oh wow im excited to see where this story goes
#this is one of those projects that makes me wish minecraft youtubers hired professional voiceactors.#lowkey as i watch ive been imagining this as a fortiche production. & i dont mean either this or the thing about VAs as an insult!!!#it just . would feel right. this is so great i feel like im watching an award nominated indie film and not a minecraft production#and the reason i mentioned fortiche specifically is because their ability to make these odd inhuman designs (see: lest steb and babette)#fit right into the mainly realistic human world they inhabit in arcane was just wonderful and i loved it a lot#and i think that would work well with these wacky mcyt skins. like princezam is literally a yellow blob#anyway so those were all my little notes about how much i love animation . onto actually discussing the story#um . i really loved ivorys character. everyone else isnt very developed yet (understandable! ive watched 30 minutes of this thing so far)#you can get a grasp of what shes about. i liked the scene with seraptor where she freaks out a bit when asked if she doesnt like#how much he talks. it made me cry a little bit because i have Issues#and her referring to everyone as sir or ma'am and asking permission to do anything as well as always saying that she was staying#in the servant side of the house and all that is very . like just kinda sad. very interesting#i like the melancholic atmosphere everywhere as well as all the wideshots#(and i liked the parts where while following minute(? i think. not well versed in the names of this general crowd im ngl) ivory kept#looking around everywhere. and how she stood somewhere behind him when he was talking to the person at the gate or whatever#i like her!)#it all sets the tone very nicely . i like this series#go watch it maybe#voidcore.txt
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weirdmageddon · 9 months ago
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the shift in lore literacy in homestuck’s fandom
i was thinking about how the people who got into homestuck after it ended—whose interactions with the comic are in a static, archived state, not an ongoing thing—missed out on information that was more common knowledge in the fandom at that time. i don’t know if this is true since i’m not on tiktok, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was. the fandom certainly isn’t the same as it was before.
ive found that many people reading homestuck now simply do not understand things in homestuck that were common knowledge back in the day, with calls for “homestuck literacy classes to become mandatory” in response to baffling takes because so many people just now seem to have glazed over the comic without absorbing important plot points, and i think i know why this may be. i ended up writing a post reflecting on my time with the comic, my perspective and how ive seen this change. i still think and write about homestuck because it still fascinates me. earlier i quote retweeted that call in my thread talking about the temporal relativity of dave and rose’s god tier ascension in the green sun, saying “my homestuck literacy is 100% so guess im doing my part as a teacher by pointing out whatever i think is really cool about it”. this post im writing now started out as a reply to this tweet i got in response.
i joined the fandom in 2013. i was 11. i had been aware of it since at least late 2011, early 2012 when my friend ryan in fifth grade told me to read it but i couldn’t get past the first few pages. i remember writing a journal on deviantart around this time (late 2011-early 2012) that was mocking people who typed like gamzee, which ironically was very karkat of me. and i remember someone on flipnote hatena i was following was making flipnotes with the alpha kids.
i dont know what caused me to flip the switch into reading it but 2013. i got into it somewhere between april (i think closer to april—i remember it being quite a span of time between the last update before HOMOSUCK dropped.) this was the most recent page the comic, meaning there was no > [S] ACT 6 ACT 6 at the bottom.
i got into it during a pause in updates, which looking into it, was the year 4 megapause. i wasn’t sure of the month until seeing the news post detailing the reason for the hiatus and the status report of the comic’s development at that time. pretty cool i could narrow it down by referencing the dates of those updates and the news post to correspond with the pause!
according to readmspa, the year 4 megapause was a 59 day hiatus from Apr 14, 2013 ==> (EOA6A5) running to 12 Jun 2013, [S] ACT 6 ACT 6. then for a few months there were the first updates that i was apart of the fandom for.
and what an exciting time during the story get into the webcomic! when the updates resumed in june, part 4 of homestuck had begun. here was a glimpse of the updates in that span of time before the next hiatus began in october.
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that hiatus was none other than the gigapause, the longest hiatus in the comic, which started october 2013 and lasted for a YEAR, and i already posted about what happened on the date of return.
but here were the main events happening in the story at the time i first actually got interested in it. i wasn’t aware of the full context of them then like i am now, but i was looking at the most recent updates anyway with interest:
the alpha kids just emerged as god tiers from their slabs in derse and prospit, blown up by the condesce and caliborn / lil cal-possessed b2 jack noir.
the journey to the new session started 24 hours after jack called an early reckoning in descend—for context that was about when dave entered around midnight central time and before jade even entered. it’s pretty easy to forget that side 1 of homestuck basically happens within the span of a single day—and at this point in the story, the 3 year journey (which was also 3 real life years) had just ended. john and jade emerged from the other side of the yellow yard through the fenestrated plane on LOMAX. john’s real body was asleep upon arrival in the new session, while his dreaming projection out in the dream bubbles came across vriska’s ghost ship to learn lord english lore with vriska and aranea, and go on the treasure hunt where they found the ultimate weapon at the X mark out in in the furthest ring. in the dream john stuck his hand in the juju, started warping all over canon which removed his real body from the ship on LOMAX. he zapped around for a while but eventually zapped back to LOMAX, now awake, completely out of the loop of what everyone else is up to, and bored as fuck. what was everyone else getting up to while john was asleep?
jade was now once again within the domain of the green sun. im pretty sure her space god doggy essence comes with the power to sense what was anywhere within the domain of the session since her face looks like she arrived at that spot with intent (and she literally has jack noir’s exact powers from bec’s prototyping. also this panel). she immediately dispatched b2 jack to the edge of the incinisphere, defending the newly god-tiered jane and jake. i think even if they weren’t in any danger, she would have warped to them instantly anyway because she COULD now, and i can imagine she wouldve been sooooo eager to meet everyone. even davesprite comments about her rapid departure.
the pre-scratch refugees arrived during the only time serious shit ever went down in the nobles’ months-long inert void session. the condesce used her freak psychic bronze-cerulean powers to commune with jade’s bestial side and mind controlled her, which is super dangerous as someone with the powers of a first guardian. she then used jade’s powers to corrupt jane with the tiaratop. no funtime meetup allowed!
the trolls’ meteor with rose, dave, and the remaining trolls was pulling up into the new session with no way to slow it down. grimbark jade warped there once it was in the incinisphere and took active control. she warped everyone off the trolls’ meteor and sent them to LOMAX.
as john was losing his mind on LOMAX waiting for everyone, the meteor crew warped in. after 3 years he finally reunited with rose and dave, and at least saw the trolls in person. close curtains, end of A6A5. this was the newest [S] flash page at the time, one of my first impressions of this comic, and still one of my favorite flashes. knowing the context of the flash in the story only enhances the retrospective joy i have at getting into the comic at the time i did because it’s such an anticipated moment in the story for everyone, while for someone with no context of the story it was still enjoyable.
so that’s what was going on plotwise when i joined the fandom.
from this time, through those few months of updates and through the gigapause, i was familarizing myself with the characters in the story and overseeing the state of fanbase, getting myself acquainted with the story and wrapping my head around everything.
at that time i found that a new-ish group called colab HQ who were producing a let’s read homestuck series on youtube. hearing the voices and the pacing of it like that really, really eased me into it (maybe it was my adhd that gave me trouble actually starting it?). i caught up to a certain point using lets read homestuck and from that point was able to continue with the comic on my own, and by the time the gigapause came to a close i was fully caught up. i remember the rebranding of colab hq into voxus about a year and a half after i discovered them.
but.. back to the main point of my post. even these posts from hussie’s tumblr exist in archived states. how many new fans know about hussie’s old tumblr? i don’t know, unless theyre a new fan that must scour the internet for more deep more dives on homestuck and its fandom as a whole. but since hussie deleted his tumblr (it exists archived now on homestuck.net which, alongside from the unofficial homestuck collection, has nearly singlehandedly kept the most important relics of the fandom and lore archived), that page is not an active part of the fandom now, because it’s gone. it’s a pile of bones. it’s not living and breathing. it’s in an archived state. the whole thing is already there. homestuck and its fandom history is something you now binge instead of slowly consume and meld with as it comes out. it’s now this rapid information intake that you might forget about if you read it now instead of engaged alongside it. you’re not surrounded by people actively talking and theorizing about developments anymore. the ability to have those sorts of conversations during the ongoing development of the story reinforced concepts, ideas, and lore over and over as we tried to make sense of it.
being in a fandom when the author is still delivering the story is like nothing else. it allows you grow alongside the characters and engage meaningfully with the media and people in the fandom space around you. it feels like you’re participating IN the media itself, especially if you’re interfacing with the creator. it’s in always having something to theorize or talk about and speculate. and people become very aware of these sorts of forgotten story facts because they were applying the logic of the newest official post from hussie into making their sburb ocs or something and share resources and discussion posts about “what just happened in this update?? recap????” it was this cultural osmosis thing. i think this is why homestuck literacy is now at an all time low, at least from what i can see on twitter.
reading homestuck then vs now is like the difference between serialized shows with spaces between episodes to discuss stuff and time to reflect and learn and become attached to the story, narrative, worldbuilding and its characters, vs the netflix model where it’s all dropped all at once and people forget about it after binging.
at this point in time im getting the sense that “homestuck elders” now are no longer just people who were there since 2009-2010, but now also people who were there while it was still updating, probably stretching into 2014-2015. there are many sources of lore that were common knowledge in the fandom at the time that, since becoming susceptible to the deletion of content and link rot, and with the thanosing of mspaforums, are no longer accessible at the source. and a lot of people moved on after it ended, especially following the epilogues, the kate drama, and the whatpumpkin-sarah z drama, leaving a void of information behind if not for archivists and people such as me who continue to keep old facts relevant in discussions. my friend has called me a fandom scholar before and seeing this post i think i get what they mean.
EDIT: there is a series of video essays ive watched multiple times (because theyre that good) and they are exactly what modern fans need to see more of. they really help contextualize the comic and the themes present in it help you appreciate the basic fabric of homestuck a hell of a lot more. i highly recommend them and encourage any fan of homestuck to watch them, or someone considering getting into homestuck to watch the first one.
i think this is arguably as close to the “mandatory literacy class for homestuck” that person was talking about as you can get, especially the first video.
additionally, there is also the website https://rafe.name/homestuck which is essentially a sparknotes for homestuck and can help you follow developments in the comic itself.
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idolomantises · 3 months ago
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hi! I've followed you for a while on and off and I really wanted to ask, are you still working on creature of grey? I was super excited for it back in the day
Same anon, do you have any cog art left? I miss them
Creature of Grey has kind of been... put on hiatus indefinitely. It's a story I love but also a story I made when i was 13-17. If I ever want to return to it, I'd have to give it a massive overhaul and change a lot of things.
Unfortunately I don't have any new art, but while looking for any of my older art to repost I found some pages for any early draft, back when I originally planned to make this a published series (2019/2020 me had a lot of ambition lol) but i ended up scrapping it because I didn't want to go into making a big series without more writing experience (hence why I did a lot of shorter comics, which later developed into Bugtopia and Monsters and Girls). It also lacked a proper script and outline, so I was just kind of making things up as I wrote.
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Looking back its kind of hilarious because everyone is having their quaint little sitcom storyline and Vern is going through absolute hell
(If you're wondering why the page/colors look nicer I believe I still had photoshop at the time so I was a lot more comfortable with the brushes and effects. I was also trying to make it look more "professional" since again, I was expecting to sell this as a physical book series)
This was my last COG drawing which was in 2021
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I was testing the waters to see how people felt about these characters, unfortunately these drawings barely did well compared to my other works, so it told me everything i need to know.
Some of my old character designs were pretty rough (though im super biased towards Vern bc ive been drawing his ass since I was 11), but its really fun looking back at these old comics.
(crazy to think I was so dedicated to drawing old man yaoi)
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david-talks-sw · 25 days ago
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Back in 2021, @writerbuddha wrote this amazing post where he interweaved Lucas' words in his meta post defending the Jedi. I'd like to take a page out of their book and start a 4-part series of posts on Anakin. So, with illustrations by Brian Rood, I give you:
In George Lucas' words: The Fall and Return of Anakin Skywalker
- Episode I -
Episode I exists to show us that Anakin Sykwalker makes it into Jedi school, becomes free, and realizes his dream. But in the process, he has to go through a lot of painful sacrifices.
When we meet Anakin, he is a young slave boy who dreams of becoming a Jedi. Lucas makes it a point that, he’s a really wonderful, angelic little kid.
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This is intentional. The reason George started the story where he did. He played with having Anakin start out in his late teens like Luke, or age him down to twelve-years-old. The problem was that a twelve-year-old leaving his mother - as Anakin does - is not nearly as traumatic as a nine-year-old leaving his mother. And there is a key story point that revolves around the fact that he was separated from his other at an early age, and how that has affected him.
The whole point of Anakin’s arc in the Prequels is that Anakin is a normal, good kid. And how does somebody who is normal and good turn bad? What are the qualities, what is it that we all have within us that will turn us bad?”
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Well, Anakin has some flaws - and those flaws ultimately do him in. Those flaws are hard to see in Episode I, but they are there. He’s cursed by the same flaws, and issues that he has to overcome, that all humans are cursed with. There's a lot going on there. 
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In Episode I, we see that there are a lot of parallels between Luke and Anakin. In Episode IV, Luke does struggle with his commitment to his uncle and his commitment to a larger destiny. His heart is to go and go off on this adventure, but he's caught in his obligations to the mundane, so to speak.
Eventually, Anakin takes a different road than his son takes, but it’s been set-up for you to almost expect that they will go— that Luke will follow in his father’s footsteps. Once again, these are issues that Anakin, Luke, and anyone can confront.
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After all, once he liberates himself through a Podrace, Anakin is confronted with the fact that he will need to leave his mother, Shmi, behind. Shmi is caught in a struggle. She loves her son, but she wants a better life for him and has to let him go.
So she does. Right off the bat, the first movie shows Anakin’s mother display a type of selfless love - which Lucas refers to as “compassion” - that Anakin will only really be able to learn in the last movie.
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Now, when they get to Coruscant, Anakin needs to be tested to allow him to be accepted as a Jedi, eventually. Because he has the powers… but as Yoda points out, there’s a lot of fear in him, and anger. That’s why they actually deny him the chance to become a Jedi. But it’s also - when they relent later on - it’s the thing that ultimately begins to describe some of his downfall.
In theory, the child should have been trained by Yoda until he was about seven or eight years old. And then when he was seven or eight, he'd be given a Jedi, he'd become the Padawan learner to a Jedi. 
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But Qui-Gon wants Anakin to skip the early training and jump right to taking him on as his Padawan learner, which is controversial, and ultimately, the source of much of the problems that develop later on.
It is obvious that Qui-Gon is wrong and made a dangerous decision, but ultimately this decision may be correct. Anakin is indeed the chosen one.
That doesn't mean that the Council's prediction is wrong. The tale meanders and both the prediction and Qui-Gon are correct. Anakin will be taken over by dark forces which in turn destroy the balance of the Galaxy, but the individual who kills the Emperor is Darth Vader— also Anakin, who brings peace at last with his own sacrifice.
Once Qui-Gon dies, ironically enough, it’s Obi-Wan that has to train Anakin and take care of him and take over the responsibility that Qui-Gon has started. The Jedi Council let Anakin in and they make him Obi-Wan's Padawan.
Sources:
The Phantom Menace Commentary Tracks #1 and #2, 1999
Cut Magazine, 1999
Premiere, 1999
The Making of The Phantom Menace, 1999
Star Wars Insider #52, 2000
A New Hope, Commentary Track, Special Edition DVD, 2004
The Making of Revenge of The Sith, 2005
The Cinema of George Lucas, 2005
Starlog Magazine #337, 2005
BONUS: How George describes Obi-Wan's initial thoughts on Anakin
Throughout the film, Obi-Wan is at odds with Qui-Gon, who rebels against the Jedi rules. So when he meets him, Obi-Wan does not trust Anakin. He’s not a big fan, he has a suspicion, this initial skepticism toward Anakin which is why Lucas didn't want to overplay the scene where they first meet.
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He’s like the reluctant elder brother saying, “You’re not leaving him with me. I don’t want to babysit anymore, I want to go out and do something good.”
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan disagree about using what one would call in mythological terms "the guide." One believes in the guide. The other one doesn't. Obi-Wan’s argument is that taking on characters like Jar Jar or Anakin with them on the trip is “going to slow us down. This is not a wise thing to do.” 
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It's a classic mythological motif but at the same time, it's conflict. The characters have to grow so what happens is that eventually the character that is very much against doing this has the obligation transferred to them. 
So by the end of the film, Obi-Wan has become Qui-Gon, by taking on his rebellious personality and responsibilities.
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 Obi-Wan commits, and tells Anakin that he’s going to train him. He has character and takes responsibility. Han Solo would’ve left him out on a desert planet somewhere.
Sources:
The Phantom Menace Commentary Tracks #1 and #2, 1999
The Making of The Phantom Menace, 1999
The Making of Revenge of The Sith, 2005
The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020
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sapphicflower-ao3 · 3 months ago
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what are ur personal favorite fics? i can be a bit picky and have a hard time finding fics but i love ur writing and i feel like we might have similar tastes based on that :3
i'm sorry it took me like a week to get to this!! i wanted to compile my faves and write notes for each of them... and i went overboard LOL. but thanks so much omg, i'm flattered that you would trust my taste based on my writing!
these are all bkdk obviously :)
i. 'In Case of Fire' - passengerside
post-canon // complete // 11K // E
an absolute MASTERPIECE!!! this author has become a recent favourite of mine, i love the way they incorporate little details into their work and make the mundane so beautiful.
highly recommend all of their other works, especially 'Pacemaker'! so freaking beautiful and fun and the lead up to the confession was a genuine holding-my-breath moment
ii. 'Sun Hands' - yesthisisnarumi
snowboarding AU // complete // 5K // T
i've re-read this one so many times it's SOOOOO good! so fun and so classically bkdk it's insane. everybody say thank you OP for giving us the rival olympic champions to lovers story we needed
iii. 'all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing' - maxisnotokay
UA compliant // complete // 11K // T
i dont usually read a lot of whump but this was brilliant, im a sucker for this specific trope and for LOVE CONFESSIONS YEASS!!! obvi it has a happy ending bc i wouldnt have it any other way. a good length too :)
iv. 'Spinnin' On Our Feet' - sage_and_cinnamon
High School AU // ongoing // 47K // M
UNDERRATED AS FUCK and my favourite ongoing fic right now. i usually dont read jock x nerd AUs but this fic is so brilliantly funny and charming and heartwarming and it blew all my expectations out of the water and then some. i've been following it for ages and it's been on hiatus for a good while, but it updated recently and when i tell you it was the best day of my freaking life...
v. 'In Perfect Rhythm' - chalk
Band AU // complete // 50K // E
yes how surprising, a band AU fic in my faves list. anyway shut up, chalk is literally godlike in their writing and this fic was SO FUN and scratched all the itches. nothing gets me going more than awkwardly endearing izuku n rockstar katsuki
vi. 'Last Days of War' - antisora
Pacific Rim AU // complete // 44K // M
GENUINELY ONE OF HUMANITY'S BEST PIECES OF LITERATURE???? fuck. i never have the proper words for this fic, but it is SO gripping and the worldbuilding is so tight and their relationship development is so good and the CLIMAX OF THIS HAS BEEN MORE EPIC THAN HALF THE BLOCKBUSTERS I'VE SEEN. i beg you to read this even if you have never watched Pacific Rim. or maybe go watch the movie and get EDUCATED and then read this! i'm begging you, dear reader!!
vii. 'Ingenium' - crandberrycrush
Astronauts AU // complete // 85K // E
guys i love sci-fi sorry lol. this one is another brilliant fic. OP put so much blood, sweat and tears into research and it shows, it is just very intelligent and the plot itself is HEART RACING and GUTTING and THRILLING. there's a lot of POVs and it really fleshes it out, tho ofc bkdk is the main thing. happy ending obvi! it is the space/astronaut drama that i love and adore, just BKDKified now!
viii. 'The Magic in a Mirror' - totallyrottentomatoes
Magic/Circus AU // complete // 80K // E
oh how surprising, a totallyrottentomaoes fic in my faves list. anyone who knows me knows that i rec this fic all the time. it's one of my all time favourites, if not my favourite of all time lol, and it's really because of the writing and the imagery and the characterisation and the relationships b/w all the characters. it's all just so well done and MAGICAL. no joke, if i could print and bind a fic into a book, it would be this one. no notes. perfection. caters to my tastes so specifically. i could go on about this fic forever but i'll shut up for now
also highly recommend 'The Distance Between Suns' by this author - it's a high fantasy epic with TIGHT AS FUCK worldbuilding, brilliantly written, the romance is BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN, the payoffs are amazing, etc... this deserves to be published and revered
ix. 'Battle of the Bands' - roadtripwithlucifer
Band AU // complete // 168K // E
look i know i always rec this fic, i just can't help that it's like my favourite thing ever. roadtripwithlucifer and totallyrottentomatoes my BELOVEDS. the humour in this fic is so fucking yummy and brilliant, the writing is gorgeous in typical roadtrip fashion, the stakes are gripping, the climax is thrilling, the romance n yearning is INTENSE, the sex is hot as hell, the ending is so satisfying, just..... the whole package.
and while you're here, read other roadtripwithlucifer works like 'Nothing Else Fills' if you feel like destroying your heart :) an angsty and beautifully written time-travel-to-save-my-kacchan-gone-wrong war AU fic. i love OP's works but her more recent fics (eg. after battle of the bands) have had some of her best writing. i adore it when you can feel how an author has poured their soul into their work, you can always feel it in a roadtripwithlucifer work and it's just the cherry on top
x. 'Scar Tissue' - Loriqod
canon-compliant // complete // 18K // E
loriqod is another author with a characterisation that i fuck with so hard... this one was so full of that Yearning and Tension that i so vibe with. bonus points to the plots focus on bkdk's scars like yes pls more of that <3
anyway i might make a part 2 some other time, these are just the ones i grabbed from my public bookmarks. i have a lot of private ones and some of them i forgot to make public oops
hope u find smth u enjoy!
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elementroar · 1 month ago
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Swain x LeBlanc becoming in-your-face canon after 15 years is so important to me
Look, I'm old. Over 35+ on Tumblr is ancient. I played League of Legends back on its shitty original client but had to be through the Garena client on top of that. Back when there was no ARAM, and Dominion was the only alternative mode and you better like it. Back when the actual League of Legends was an in-universe thing, the United Nations of Runeterra except it could actually enforce its edicts.
Swain and LeBlanc were basically created together at the same time. Swain was released first, and LeBlanc followed a month later. World-building back then was primarily through each champion's League Judgements which were basically providing their backstory, and the interrogations by the League to determine the champions' motivations. It's very telling then that Swain featured very prominently in LeBlanc's Judgement.
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This was the first hint of the personal relationship between Swain and LeBlanc, and particularly LeBlanc's personal affection for Swain. These two would have a steady story progression from then on through events reported in the in-universe tabloid the Journal of Justice; with LeBlanc helping to pave the way for Swain to become Grand General. She has been his date, play-acted as Jarvan IV to 'duel' him to start a war, and even body-doubled for him in his final duel to become Grand General.
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I can recall every single instance where LeBlanc and Swain were involved together in some event or major conflict, but it's irrelevant now. Cos all this? Non-canon since 2014. But I bring this up to show you that Swain and LeBlanc's relationship was a very real on-going mainstay of both their characters' arcs for 4-5 years.
But this relationship was actually taken into consideration by Riot when Swain underwent his visual graphic update and lore rework in 2018. See after the cut for the rest of my musing, developer and writer comments, and even some sneaky internal design notes that I happened to listen to.
So when Swain was being remade in his visual graphic update, it included his lore as well, including the major updates to what Noxus would be now.
And despite only LoL fans who read the lore that knew how connected Swain and LeBlanc actually are, their relationship was actually given a lot of special attention by Riot and Swain's then lead narrative writer, Riot Interlocutioner.
The major difference is in Swain's attitude to LeBlanc. In the old lore, it's heavily implied that the reason LeBlanc was doing so much for Swain because she had a deep personal affection for him. Swain on his part, was actually quite indifferent to her after her League Judgement, with their last interaction before the major retcons having her complain how he's been giving her the cold shoulder since he became Grand General (with her assistance), and him simply stating she "has (his) favor, and that is enough".
In current lore. Well. Let's just say Swain now clearly reciprocates LeBlanc's attention. If not hungry for it:
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Players who knew their lore were able to ask Interlocutioner directly about how Swain and LeBlanc interact or regard each other now, and well:
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I will say as someone who prefers some aspects of Swain's old design, I do appreciate how the new lore decouples LeBlanc from being entirely focused on Swain, gives her a higher overarching purpose in her own story, and also made her actually the older of the pair despite appearances.
Also, this was her man Swain back in the day. Yup, she was into this. Respect, actually. LeBlanc was all about appearances being deceiving, and her being into Swain despite his appearance was prolly part of the point.
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That said, part of the lore update that was well-received was the exploration and additional depth given to Swain and LeBlanc's relationship, in whatever manner. They now have a clearer shared history - LeBlanc manipulated young Swain into thinking he killed her and the Black Rose, and got him sent on a suicide mission which she expected him to die in. But he returned and ended up stealing the demon she was aiming for to boot. Swain for his part was intrigued that she survived him killing her too. And both have 'intrigued' each other since then.
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May be counter-intuitive to WANT your OTP to become 'enemies' and no longer openly cooperating with each other; but this is the infinitely spicier 'enemies and also lovers' upgrade.
You could say it's already canon that Swain and LeBlanc are a pairing, but a lot of things, like before, are implied and hinted. Heck the funny thing is in current lore, while Swain's affection for LeBlanc is obvious, we're not entirely sure how LeBlanc regards Swain, even though their writer confirms they are both enemies and lovers.
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That's why with LeBlanc's VGU, and Fortiche's involvement and likely portraying Noxus in the next season in Arcane S3, I'm cautiously optimistic of seeing how they could be portrayed. There's a very sexually charged element between them. And obviously we see Fortiche is not prudish about portraying that element in relationships.
I've waited 15 years for my OTP to fuck. On-screen. In-canon. In glorious HD. I'm only upset that Swain doesn't have a true raven form anymore cos LeBlanc was totally a monsterfucker back in the day when Swain could transform into this.
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Oh, and I have another little thing in my pocket. 8 years ago when Swain was getting his VGU, lore reworked etc. There was an official Riot dev podcast by their China team on Weibo. After airing, it was immediately pulled for saying too much ahead of the release. And it wasn't just the standard things, like revealing too much of his new abilities, or lines.
See I listened to that podcast and understand both English and Chinese. And I in fact still have that podcast downloaded. In that podcast the devs started talking about the internal design docket they were given to provide context and backstory as they translated lines that Swain would say to them and in what tone etc.
Naturally, I zeroed in on their section talking about his lines to LeBlanc. I needed to know post-VGU, what did LeBlanc mean to him.
Well, in a word, LeBlanc is his 对象. Meaning his girlfriend/significant other/intended, all the way up to romantic partner. While not as definite as 情人 and 爱人 , it does imply that Swain sees her as his romantic goal. This was further emphasized by them confirming the overall tone of Swain's interactions with LeBlanc is 'romantic'.
Original versions or post-VGU, Swain and LeBlanc are always conceived together as a character pair. I really just hope I get a satisfying payoff after 15 years of shipteasing.
I don't get involved much in League, game or lore, anymore. But this. This is important to me.
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melliae · 28 days ago
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Hong Lu, An Analysis-Prediction
Before beginning, as always, I've to clarify something: I haven't read Dream of the Red Chamber. My best source of information are the thematic connections drawn in the Reddit sub of Limbus, and that only gives me a slight idea of what Project Moon may have in mind.
So, everything below here is complete and utter speculation based on my own knowledge and impressions about Hong Lu's character, Sins, EGOS, and Abnormalities. Beware, and feel free to comment your own opinions!
Now, let's go with the post!
What We Know
So, I think the best way to start this analysis is by recapitulating Hong Lu’s overall character so far. For that, we need to return to the first ever explanation of his personality: the “resume” given in the game page and during his presentation in Selva Oscura.
“As such, he has a certain admiration for a free life; but occasionally, he may make ignorant and unsavory questions in regards to the food cooked by a certain other Sinner or other aspects of the low-lives' lowly culture. [,,,] However, it is important to note that no sarcastic undertones are contained in his curiosity-driven inquiries, so it is ill-advised to let them get physical over it.”
As a general thing… It surprisingly holds up! Don’t misunderstand me, though. It isn’t that the description is perfect; it’s just not untrue. In fact, his first even line in the game, about Dante’s head being some sort of trend and not waiting for an answer, totally falls there. Similarly, there are several other moments showing Hong Lu’s innocence and naivety without any ulterior or hidden motive, from wondering if the casino workers of Canto II were trying to make the Peccatula their pets (likely because his grandmother collects weird animals) to unintentionally insulting Outis’ watch in Canto VI. I’d say the biggest proof of his lack of experience is the moment in Canto V where he adjusted the LCCB badge of a pirate that very obviously wasn’t a member of Limbus. Though all of his weirdness may derive from the fact that his elders—which are weird as hell—are his point of reference.
Now, since his most notable trait has been explained, we can move into the discrepancies of the description, and the biggest one is mentioned at the end: that under Hong Lu's comments there is no sarcasm—which is a complete lie! This man is a menace, and the Sinner’s experiences in District 20 during To Claim Their Bones and Canto VI shows it, from agreeing with Caiman’s assessment of LCB to joining Nelly’s teasing, including his lines while helping Heathcliff with his appearance and clothes. But arguably, my favorite example of this is the horror story he told during Canto V that scared Sinclair and which he only finished when the latter ran away. Don't tell me Hong Lu was being innocently insensitive back there: Sinclair was visibly shitting bricks, and the pretty boy here is keen enough to masterfully play the most compassionate and kind member of the League of Nine.
“Brother Young-ji was a man of kindness. He was not one to rashly harbor spite or reproach for others. You resemble him in that sense.” - Yi Sang, Blossoming League of Nine Littérateurs, Canto IV.
Though I suppose the difference between them is that Hong Lu clearly has a more optimistic and fun-loving attitude. This is an obvious trait that he has had since his childhood, when he played with and complained about his “cheating” siblings, sneaked into the dining hall of his manor for snacks, and simply didn’t follow his family’s rules. But since we know his family is extremely strict (if not outright sadistic), this sanguine streak may have developed (or gotten worse) as some sort of defense mechanism, which is seen better with Wakashu Hong Lu and his “lack of manners.” In fact, all of his Identities show an unnatural or improper calmness about his situation, no matter how horrible it is.
Another thing to highlight is his inquisitive, curious, and surprisingly understanding nature. While most of the examples above, especially him playing Young-ji, are proof of that, as it plays very well with his sheltered life. But I want to point out the best and most recent example of Hong Lu’s surprising contemplativeness: Time Killing Time. In particular, the most important scene is near the end, when Rodya and Hong Lu discuss his motivation to pursue the Time Reaper:
“I... just wanted to understand. Because, to me, the world was full of things I couldn't understand. In truth, I still understand so little of it. Why do people hang on so desperately to something like time? Something so... ephemeral?” - Hong Lu, Chapter 15: The Final Problem.
It’s normal to assume Hong Lu’s words are solely referring to the miserable monetary system of T Corp., but I don't think that’s all. We know that Hong Lu and Xinchun are well acquainted with the “immortality of the mind” the elders of their family are obsessed with, and what is immortality but infinite time? Thus, what Hong Lu asked there was why people hang on to the erroneous belief that life should not move or change, remaining constant and hence perfect for the rest of eternity. Yet, that isn’t what life truly is, right? It’s not for nothing that Hong Lu’s introductory quote is that “life has its vicissitudes as jade has its flaws,” which conveys his philosophy of detachment perfectly.
“When you’re distraught, simply remember that life goes on even if what you’re doing now doesn’t work out. Then, you’ll be free of worries.” - LCB Hong Lu
However, while the idea of detaching oneself from the whole without renouncing loving it is respectable, the way in which Hong Lu lives it is far from perfect, because detachment is not about carefreely admitting you will just simply gather the remains of your sister in case she is mutilated or readily accepting a horrible death just because you don’t mind dying. Even he himself admits from time to time, as with his jealousy over Heathcliff’s propensity to “ignore what he doesn’t like” (Rooms Past the Door) or Rim’s capacity to fly freely. In fact, one may even say that he hasn’t become detached at all, because doing so implies the complete acceptance of the “jade’s” beauty and flaws; Hong Lu, however…
“A thousand hours… Will a thousand hours have passed in the blink of an eye? [...] Then... I like that. Rip my time away.” - Hong Lu, Chapter 14: The Clock Tower of Fear, TimeKilling Time.
He has become detached from life altogether, and how could he not with the disaster that his family is? That likely was his only way to survive in such an environment, and unlike the rest of the Jia, he doesn’t seem to have that lucky predisposition for resentment and hatred. Even when his siblings tried to kill him the first time, Hong Lu didn’t come to hate them; he fully understood them because that’s the kind of person he is, just like Young-ji. However, since he realized such a thing through his big heart, he’s now fully aware that he will ultimately and cruelly die by their hands thanks to his love. In such a case, what other option does he have beyond merely “dancing”? A joke here, a sarcastic comment there, and a final appreciation for everyone so nothing is taken seriously and causes dissatisfaction, no matter how dim his eye becomes.
So, as of the 5th Walpurgisnacht, Hong Lu’s character can be summarized as follows:
Has a friendly, compassionate, and understanding personality that clashes against the violent and strict nature of his family.
Became detached over his own life because he can’t bring himself to hate and hurt his family.
His carefree attitude and sheltered life lead him to not understand some of the social conventions of… anyone who still has some respect for their own life.
Has a certain sarcastic and teasing streak, likely originating from both his personality and ideology.
There’s 1 aspect remaining that I didn’t mention above because I think it’s better to analyze Hong Lu’s EGOs first, to see what else we can rescue before giving a sort of “conclusion.”
About EGOs
Before any of you ask, no, I will not analyze Land of Illusion here; it’s best reserved for the next section, about Hong Lu Base ID. Instead, the first EGO I’ll deal with is, fittingly, the first one he ever received: Roseate Desire.
Roseate Desire originates from Pink Shoes, an Abnormality that evidently is an Aberration of Lobotomy Corp.’s Red Shoes, with their shared meaning being that of a single-minded and very violent obsession that’s impossible to resist—one of the purest expressions of Lust. But while Red Shoes and its EGO are fundamentally egoistic, not wanting to share the glory and pleasure of their desire’s fulfillment, Pink Shoes and Roseate Desire are of a softer shade, spreading their overwhelming lust to as many people as possible. The difference becomes clearer when you compare Rodya’s and Ishmael’s respective obsessions: the longing to be special vs. the desire to kill the “source of all evil” in retribution for all she has done.
Applying the former logic to Hong Lu, we can conclude first that he has a desire as strong as Ishmael’s hatred for Ahab, which is quite unexpected for someone who has basically given up on life! Thankfully, the Sin resources his version of Roseate Desire costs tell us a couple of things about his “fixation”: 4 Lust and 2 Envy. The dominance of Lust is self-explanatory, so that leaves us with Envy, which I commented on in the previous section: jealousy over those who can ignore and escape their problems—those who are “free.” Yet, since Roseate Desire and Pink Shoes are characterized by a sort of collective hedonism, so is Hong Lu’s wish to escape his family. Surely such a thing will bring joy to his cut-throat siblings.
And speaking about escapism, Hong Lu’s next two EGOs are all about that, beginning with the one whose Abnormality I analyzed in one of my previous posts: Dimension Shredder.
While Wayward Passenger is an Abnormality that is clearly about the trauma inflicted by W Corp.’s method of operation, it has a secondary meaning that Project Moon uses for its EGO too: being trapped in a horrible duty, necessity, or “path” that makes the individual envious of the life and possibilities others hold. This is best seen with Outis’ Dimension Shredder due to the Envy affinity, though Hong Lu’s Pride version isn’t that far off thanks to the Sin costs: 3 Pride and 3 Gluttony. Basically, it means that Hong Lu is “lost” due to external necessity, by things he can’t control (i.e., his family), but instead of resenting it as any other person would do, he takes pride in that, in having to follow a “terrible path,” because that’s the type of person he knows he is—the kind and understanding one that sacrifices himself.
The second EGO about escapism originates from LobCorp and hence from an Abnormality I haven’t analyzed: Soda and Opened Can of WellCheers, respectively. The two come from a Korean urban legend about people being drugged through juice cans and sold to fishing boats as slaves. Needless to say, the parallels with Hong Lu’s Soda are more than obvious: an envy born from a necessity (Gluttony) that grimly (Gloom) pushed him into a role he doesn’t want. Alternatively, and considering the ending of the Abnormality’s story log in LC, it’s the fulfillment of a fantasy born of jealousy, sadness, and necessity, though that doesn’t explain the Envy affinity of the EGO. Either way, nobody can deny that Soda stands for Hong Lu’s “murdered” wish to flee his circumstances.
The next EGO luckily is from another Abnormality I analyzed some time ago: Ambling Pearl and Effervescent Corrosion. However, unlike Rodya, who keeps the Abnormality’s original meaning mostly intact (safekeeping the “pearl”/one’s meaning from the “filthy” outside), Hong Lu gives it a twist: it’s not about protecting his “life treasure,” but something else
“Faust: For instance, let’s say that Hong Lu held a belief he was certain would be an unchanging constant as he lived in the City. Or, it could be a hope for some other psychological sustainment that has supported his life. Hong Lu: …Hmm. Faust: If that support suddenly collapses in a massively shocking event that causes one to let their “ego” go, his mind would crumble, so to speak. Hong Lu: …Well, I could see that happening. [...] Hong Lu: Hm… I thought I knew, but I can’t seem to elaborate on it with words right now.” - Chapter 3: Hell’s Chicken, Hell’s Chicken.
Unlike Rodya’s desire to be special and her notorious inner conflict, which is reflected in how similar her Corrosion is to a broken Ambling Pearl, Hong Lu is much more secretive about his opinions, usually referring to his frivolous comments instead of using the great insight he has, according to Dante. Nonetheless, even if we don’t exactly know the “core belief” he holds close to his heart (though we should have a general idea at this point), we do know that his version of Effervescent Corrosion, beyond Gluttony or the desire to survive, requires Gloom. So whatever Hong Lu is hiding, it’s far from happy, as his Sin weaknesses further show after EGO usage: weak to Lust and Sloth, to love and inaction—to the idea of not protecting himself.
In a similar vein, Hong Lu’s next EGO is entirely about sadness, as it comes from Blubbering Toad, aka depression incarnated. However, Cavernous Wailing isn’t a Gloom EGO but a Sloth one, and whose Sin costs are Gloom, Sloth, and Pride. That’s to say, Hong Lu’s refusal to take action and the resulting self-pity (“A heart shaken by sorrow bursts… like this.”) are fed by his sadness, indolence, and distorted self-perception, an aggrandized mental image of himself as able to carry all his pain without problem.
“It goes like this. Any of our siblings who managed to survive on their own up to the age of thirteen in our household will probably be a-okay even if they were to be tossed out to the middle of the Outskirts! Hehe…” - Hong Lu, Chapter 20, Canto VII.
Finally, the last EGO is the newly added Lasso, which comes from Rose Hunter, and really, its Mirror Dungeon Encounter puts it the best: Rose Hunter is the one who makes sure all stories follow their natural course, their flow, and “he” is no exception; the Hunter is willing to get lost if that’s the story it must obey. Fittingly, Lasso represents the same idea of not resisting one’s “tale” or “myth,” going along with what’s written not out of indolence or apathy, but because it’s necessary, akin to the motif of the “fetters of fate,” for example. In that regard, their underlying archetype is the same as that of the Orphic Ananke, the deification of the necessity that created the universe, which can be best understood through the following aphorism: existence came to be because it exists. Or put it in a simpler manner: you must follow your nature because that’s who you are.
Hong Lu’s Lasso, in the same way as Faust’s, requires first and foremost Gluttony to work, for that’s the entire deal of the Abnormality. Then comes the Lust requirement, which implies this “work” is also done out of either love or a twisted desire, a mania for things to follow their assigned nature or role. The final Sin cost is the variable one, which for Hong Lu is Pride again, his aggrandized sense of self that drives him to fulfill his role without complaining, solely out of love and necessity.
So, with all the EGOs analyzed, we can rescue the following:
Hong Lu, more than anything, wishes to escape the situation he has been put in. He wants to be free behind all those frivolous and/or insensitive commentaries.
However, due to his upbringing, he “murdered” those wishes so to speak, and remains walking the path his family has put him by many reasons, chief among them his love for them and his distorted perception of his own self.
Thus, all that longing and yearning for freedom remains hidden, barely able to see the light of the day except in the rarest of occasions. That’s likely his “pearl,” the thing that he ultimately hides for his own survival.
About His Base ID and EGO
You know, I have always been curious about why people are so adamant about Hong Lu being depressed. No doubt he has depression at some level, but I don’t think it’s as severe as people normally think it is because his Base ID simply lacks any form of Gloom. This is in stark contrast to Sinners such as Yi Sang, Gregor, and especially Ishmael, since she has a Gloom Base EGO as well. But if such is the case, then what does Land of Illusion means, since it requires Gloom to be used?
However, I think it’s important to understand Hong Lu’s Sin spread first, his psychology in this particular possibility:
His third skill, that is, his most inward and deep trait, is Lust. This Sin placement is only shared with LCB Heathcliff, whose devotion to Catherine is quite literally a multiversal constant as per Canto VI; everything he does, he does it for Cathy. Thus, Hong Lu must have a similarly romantic or affectionate nature, and we know that he isn’t the type to stop “loving” due to the cruelty of a person; his reaction towards the attempt against his life says enough. He even tried to understand the Time Ripper at some level during TimeKilling Time.
His second skill is Sloth, an inaction that’s much shallower but no less decisive, so to speak. One can understand it as deriving from his much more encompassing Lust or Love, which is to say that Hong Lu refuses to take action or initiative in his life out of love and understanding, in a similar manner to how LCB Faust lets her every move be commanded by the Gesellschaft thanks to her need for self-realization.
Finally, his third skill, his most outward and shallow trait, is Pride. This position is only shared with the Base IDs of Faust (again) and Sinclair, although the former is the easiest one to understand: Faust is somewhat haughty without a doubt, but not egocentric or self-absorbed by any metric; she’s just socially naive and with a great deal of knowledge that tends to ostracize her by her own volition. Pride is, after all, the de facto Sin of distorted self-perception, of thinking you are more capable than you really are.
Again, all of this tells us what we already know: the kindness of Hong Lu, his indolence born out of said kindness, and the weight he alone bears on his shoulders. We can’t even say that he has a low self-esteem unless we include in that definition a “imposing limits on who you are,” which, yes, sounds right, but it leans too much in the territory of semantics for my taste. Furthermore, Hong Lu’s strange relationship with Gloom and sadness can also be contrasted with the Sinners I mentioned before, those with Gloom and whose Cantos are available:
Yi Sang was the living stereotype of the depressed person: cold, distant, unfeeling, dead inside, etc. Whatever you name, Yi Sang likely had it.
Ishamel’s emptiness and self-destructivity were well-hidden until her Canto, during which all hell was let loose.
And Gregor is possibly one of the most realistic approaches of all, as we can see with the flashbacks of his past during Canto I. Even so, he… well, remains somewhat functional (and I’m really stretching the definition there xD)
And don’t get confused. In this case, Gloom isn’t equal to feeling sad or being traumatized by any means; every Sinner has their own share of problems, and not all have Gloom. Sinclair had his family and town massacred thanks to Kromer's obsession with him, for example, and while I don’t doubt he feels a deep sadness and regret about it, he doesn’t have Gloom in his Base ID. The same applies to Rodya, her low self-worth, and her guilt about the fate of her neighbors, lacking any sort of Gloom as well. The most extreme and recent case of this is boss Sancho, who doesn’t have any Gloom skill at all, despite her character and story being more than fitting.
Therefore, Gloom, in the straightest sense and avoiding exceptions or little quips, refers to a deep-seated hopelessness, a melancholy that devours all dreams and hopes, causing one to become completely lost in life. In such a case then, it’s not that Hong Lu isn’t sad or, damn, depressed, but that he knows how to manage such emotions so they don’t overwhelm him as they do with Gregor, Yi Sang, or Ishmael. The same likely happens with his wish to escape and his jealousy, for he seemingly knows that no life is truly a “flawless jade.”
“In a way, we’re all ‘deprived’... and that can change a lot of things. Maybe there are things that we can understand only when we’re left with nothing.” - Hong Lu, Chapter 1: Wuthering Heights, Canto VI.
This self-control naturally falls in line with his inclination for Pride and Lust, creating a sort of “transpersonal” point of view that allows him to curb his emotions in order to understand others. It’s quite Buddhist or Taoist, no? This kind of detachment over life I explained before, I mean. In a way, it strengthens the theory of Jia family elders treating Hong Lu as a golden child, and while he doesn’t seem to really like the idea, he resigned himself to it.
“I can't do much about what I was born with~ To them... I was a gem of a child.” - Hong Lu, Liu Association South Section 5 Uptie Story.
He renounced all the transient things in his life, all of his wishes and sadness, in order to carry out his family’s expectations: the preferred family head candidate. And what is another form to call transient things? Illusions.
Land of Illusion is the culmination of Hong Lu’s hidden sadness, his yearning to escape that will forever remain out of his reach—or at least he thinks so.
“With this there is often, to a smaller or greater extent, a savior complex, or a Messiah complex, with the secret thought that one day one will be able to save the world; the last word in philosophy, or religion, or politics, or art, or something else, will be found.” - Marie-Louise von Franz, The Problem of the Puer Aeternus.
Hong Lu doesn’t believe himself to be a savior, naturally. But I cannot deny that it would be very much in character for him to imagine or fantasize about a world where he doesn’t have to fulfill his family expectations, where they can all be happy. That would explain the Lust cost of Land of Illusions, as well as the weaknesses to Envy and Wrath, which are a stand-in for the rejection of his innermost wish.
But alas, at the end, life has its flaws, and there’s no way Hong Lu will raise a fist against his family. Even if his survival depends on it, Hong Lu won’t defend himself because that would mean choosing and thus losing, and there’s nothing more terrifying to the eternal child than losing things. Death is a much more merciful and tempting possibility than acting and suffering.
“The puer aeternus very often has this mature, detached attitude toward life, which is normal for old people but which he acquires prematurely—the idea that life is not everything, that the other side is valid too, that life is only part of the whole existence. [...] So before he has gone down to earth, he already has the offer of death.” - The Problem of the Puer Aeternus.
In this regard, it doesn’t matter much Dante’s rewind or the actual existence of an afterlife. It’s the idea of death as a solution for a hard life, instead of confronting the problem itself, of standing up and withstand the uncertainty and pain of life.
AAt the end of his Canto, Hong Lu will have to stand up for himself and to carry on the pain. That's how a "child" becomes an "adult," or better said, an actual family head.
Post-Commentary
... Yeah.
To be honest, I don't know where the inspiration behind came for this. It just fell on me one day, like Faust's theory. But where I'm confident in that one, I'm completely lost in this post, especially because while the conclusion seems right (standing up to the abuse and expectations coming from one's family), the reasoning is somewhat flimsy? I don't know. I have the feeling that I'm retreating Canto VII's (and even Canto III's) story and themes somehow, though the similarities may be the reason of why Xinchun was introduced, maybe. That would make Don's confusion funnier xD
The final mentions of the puer aeternus (similar to the Peter Pan syndrome, but not quite) are due to how Hong Lu's character screamed "puer" to me, surpassing every other one. The fact his summary highlighted that he is a "bachelor" brought to mind this little quote of Marie-Louise's books:
“The two typical disturbances of a man wh ohas an outstanding mother complex are, as Jung points out, homosexuality and Don Juanism.”
If a man gets around too frequently, he'll obviously not get married. If he's gay, then even less reason to do so or look at women. In this case, the idea is not about the actual sexual orientation of Hong Lu (or the accuracy of the book's assessment), and more about highlighting his refusal to commit.
Also, as a funny note, The Problem of the Puer Aeternus has a fragment that's really similar to, from what I've gathered, the warnings the monks gave to the Stone at the beginning. Since the book also deals with the case of Saint-Exupéry and The Little Prince, there may also be something interesting regarding Demian (Limbus', not Hesse's).
Anyway, and repeating myself, if you have any other opinion or thought you want to share, feel free to do so! Similarly, if you notice any orthographical or grammatical error, let me know. It's difficult to see them, even when using several online tools...
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ginumo2 · 4 months ago
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i dont know if this could be seen as a rent lowering gunshot to others but i feel like i need to say this in advance for all the new moots i made in the past year or so VDJSVKSDB
yes i was a dsmp fan from like. the very beginning of it. dont stop reading yet though let me continue.
i have very mixed feelings towards it now, mostly because of how like. it got to a point where youd be targeted or isolated if anyone found out if you were a dsmp fan, feeling somewhat forced to stop supporting it at all and.
ill be honest! it sucks a little!!! because the story and the characters really charmed me starting from late 2020 to almost 2022 and it was like. a major fandom for me. it was a lot of what kept me engaged and distracted in the years where my life went through an incredibly rocky road and now its like. im ashamed to say i was a dsmp fan at all, even though it marked a huge part of my fandom experiences here on tumblr
the dsmp has gotta be one of the most remarkable fandoms ive been in personally, and i'm a little sad that i can't speak of it in a positive light without the possibility of being exploded on the spot but its whatever. ive been trying to wipe it off of my main art blog's top tags out of shame and due to falling out of the fandom, but i don't wanna get rid of the posts because of how important that time period was for me.
if you wanna keep following me or not after admitting, or if you wanna block me for something that happened like. two, three years ago? its up to you. but its just. yeah. i needa say it out loud
tl;dr — i was a dsmp fan for the characters and the story but don't really support it anymore, yet the story it developed still holds a dear place in my heart. do whatever you want with that information
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onlyjaeyun · 10 months ago
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i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.
you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.
the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?
idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.
thank you for the feedback!
i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?
now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright
on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense
now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.
and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.
yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨
if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.
as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"
i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine
do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this
if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr
oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)
and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters
goodbye
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trickstarbrave · 5 months ago
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TCS FRIDAY BABEYYYY
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i just wanna talk about steren because i love him. sorry for what will no doubt be rambling u_u @the-elder-polls i will be including art and stuff as necessary bc i love my boyyyyyyy and ive drawn him a lot
he's technically a nerevarine. he isnt nerevar's reincarnation though, instead nerevar (trans) and voryn had a kid by accident and well. steren is the reincarnation of THAT child.
first lifetime in his early life he was born at kogoruhn and raised in house dagoth. The cover story is nerevar was on a pilgrimage for azura and voryn had a drunken affair with a woman. steren is born, voryn fakes the death of the random woman, now he has a son. very few people know the truth. nerevar wanted to raise him but he was originally born a commoner and while he's strong enough to protect himself, he wouldn't put it past anyone with a grudge to target a literal infant just to spite him. nerevar still visits often though, under the guise that of course he'd be nice to his closet friend's son
steren was born a few years before the war of the first council though. tensions were getting high between the chimer and previously quiet dwemer, and house dagoth being the spies for the chimer by and large discovered what kagrenac was up to. you know the rest (mostly). nerevar and voryn die, the tribunal become gods, the dwemer vanish, everyone becomes dunmer except ayem and half of vivec... tribunal had caught on though that steren was nerevar's son as well though and they think it is particularly cruel to kill nerevar's only child just because he's of house dagoth blood. so they pretty much wipe his memories for the most part and have him raised in house indoril.
steren grew up in house indoril, and eventually realized he was of house dagoth. he confronts vivec who had become a sort of mentor to him, and vivec tells him to leave it in the past. he was spared because he was an innocent child. house dagoth were destroyed because they were traitors. they had to be purged from morrowind. there is nothing in the past that will give steren the answers and comfort he wants and will only lead him to his doom. this goes over as well as you would expect with him leaving house indoril and looking for answers alone. at some point he got married and had a kid, but his mission was about uncovering the secrets of house dagoth the tribunal tried to bury and learn more about his parents. he's killed during a collapse of some ruins. his wife takes the kid and promptly leaves morrowind, fearing what the temple may do now that steren is dead
family line continues for a while, and during this time nerevar's ghost has been watching over them. he felt too bad leaving his son all alone in the world, so he silently watched over him, heartbroken. then steren died and nerevar followed his child, his child's child, and so on. up to the third era where steren is reborn to a dying woman on the run from some illiac bay nobleman. after she dies, steren goes to an orphanage. unknown parents, born under a certain sign, fulfilling the prophecy. he's arrested when, after leaving a house he was robbing, he stumbles upon a dead body at the completely wrong time. the trial is shit because this is the TES universe (guilty until proven innocent is canon fsr, dont let me ramble about why we'll be here all day) and he develops a fear of large crowds having their eyes all on him (idk what thats called). he stays 3 months in prison before being pardoned and shipped to morrowind. despite it being his home province he never heard great things about it.
he follows the storyline pretty closely. except that this is my world so mods like tamriel rebuilt are canon for me. he joins house hlaalu and the mages guild. he's really freaked out by all the sleepers who know him by name saying weird shit calling him 'prince' or some shit so he decides to take the opportunity to visit the mainland when the mages guild asks him to. on the mainland he does a bunch of stuff but finds vissamu and an ancient tome from house dagoth. he doesnt know why but he cant let go out of the house dagoth stuff. its familiar. but it also makes his heart ache.
more importantly though on the mainland is he comes across a dunmer who didn't know what house or family he was from. a nearby temple has you gather ingredients for a ritual to summon an ancestor spirit. steren does it correctly and then after seeing the guy happy to know who he is and able to build a relationship with his deceased family, asks the temple to do the same for him. an ancestor spirit is in fact summoned but before they can reveal who steren is, nerevar shoos them away. all steren knows is it fails but the priest sees what is clearly saint nerevar watching over him and tells him he doesnt know why it failed but that he is watched over well. steren hears a voice urging him to go outside and does so. there, nerevar reveals himself, able to communicate with him now, and tells him he stopped the spirit. she wanted to come and talk to him, but she was a woman of house dagoth (voryns mom specifically) and nerevar feared what might happen if his lineage was revealed to others. steren is kinda freaked out, asking if he'll go insane like some of the sleepers he sees, but nerevar assures him he wont let that happen.
back on vvardenfell steren continues his questing. gets corprus, cures corprus. goes to kogoruhn and finds at the old family hearth a bottle with what was originally his baby teeth as well as locks of hair from both parents, typical things to leave near the family hearth for protection. steren takes it with him, not knowing why he's so attached to it.
after getting the ring though he gets his past life memories back and realizes he's not nerevar reborn. he has memories of "uncle nerevar" in his first life. he demands answers, crying, and nerevar comes clean that no, he isn't nerevar reborn. nerevar didnt want him doing this either, but azura has no other options because nerevar refused to reincarnate and apologizes to steren. but steren asks how he can wear the ring then and nerevar is quiet before explaining that while he was alive he asked azura to modify the enchantment so that nerevar and his descendants can wear the ring. that steren's other parent was always nerevar, but nerevar couldnt be open about that fact because he couldnt bear the thought of his own child being killed
fighting dagoth ur is particularly painful because dagoth ur recognizes steren as his son but well. he's still insane. dagoth ur thinks steren is too corrupted and blinded by the tribunal who stole him away and brainwashed him, but dagoth ur can kill and remake him, just like he did his brothers. then he can bring back nerevar, purge the empire from morrowind, and live together as a family, proud and openly. defeating him was not easy emotionally or physically tbh, but steren did win.
also at some point he got trueflame. i havent figured out when he did the tribunal dlc quite yet. it might be while he was on the mainland if im being honest but i feel like almalexia would def spill the beans on who he is. maybe he takes out the assassins, comes back, gets the ring, and then goes to deal with the rest of the stuff from tribunal.
after daogth ur's defeat, azura comes to usher nerevar to moonshadow. spirits arent supposed to remain in the realm of the living for too long and he risks being completely destroyed. nerevar is worried, but steren assures him he'll be fine, and nerevar goes to rest. then azura says she'll give steren any gift within her power to him as a reward for doing such a difficult task, and steren says he just wants to be with his parents again. azura frowns and says she cant bring back the living. steren knows. azura is even more upset because steren is not that old for dunmer and is already asking to die. but instead of killing him she sends him to another world where his parents ARE alive. and also 200 years in the future where theyre together in hopes steren can be with his parents and live happily there. she's going to let this worlds nerevar and voryn have the memories of steren's world too so it wont be weird.
mephala though intervenes with the reasoning "you can just send people to different worlds and time periods. you'll fucking break the dragon." and drops him off not in mournhold but in blacklight, outside of a brothel where the reincarnation/child of vivec (named vivienne, who belongs to @wellthebardsdead) is currently being kept. in this world nerevar was the nerevarine, azura restored him to his status, voryn reincarnated, i wrote about them getting together here. steren, strongly resembling voryn, is taken in by force and fed poison to both diminish his strength and keep him from healing the injuries from dagoth ur. but he and vivienne save up money from tips and escape. steren couldnt take his ring or sword but he figures the brothel madam probably pawned them off and he should just gtfo of morrowind before the temple figures out theres two copies of nerevar's ring and sword and if theres an impersonator running around. they hop on a boat like a day or two before voryn and nerevar track down the brothel in blacklight to look for steren.
they get off the boat in.... SKYRIM!!! surprise, vivienne is the dragonborn too. he and steren are very close but very shy about admitting the fact theyre in love. theyre both traumatized and afraid of hurting the other or being rejected. im sure you can imagine.
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look at how cute they are...
also since steren isn't the dragonborn he doesnt do much of the msq. he is more like a follower but he has some side content he does. he joins the companions, contracts lycanthrope (thanks hircine, not helping steren's opinion of daedra at all), ends up doing the forsworn conspiracy and after breaking out of the mine the forsworn take over markarth. vivienne does the thieves guild and steren helps with that bc he does know some dwemer from being taught it by both nerevar as a ghost and voryn when he was a kid. also he did the mages guild in morrowind so he knows a lot of dwemer stuff. oh steren also got fucked up by the heart of lorkhan a little and during the peace talks he did make the throat of the world start shaking when he got violently angry. steren is also not at all impressed with delphine (he already didnt like the blades for obvious reasons)
oh they also adopt a scrib. named mr scribbles. its later revealed scribbles is a girl but (sorry i cant draw bugs well)
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alduin is defeated and vivienne comes back. steren was worried sick but is happy to have his beloved back. they confess, its cute, and steren gifts him a necklace he made with traditional house dagoth craftsmanship
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shortly afterwards though miraak's cultists show up and despite what they want they have to go to solthsheim and deal with it..... ugh. while all this is going on nerevar and voryn arrived in skyrim and were trying to track their son down sort of on a wild goose chase. by the time they catch up steren and vivi are on their way to solstheim.
on solstheim they try to keep a low profile. steren uses a bandana to keep the big red star on his face covered. vivienne ends up getting turn grey and cold like vivec which doesnt help the vivec allegations. after he's turned steren starts getting some gold patches on him too (i forgot the red star like an idiot sorry)
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one of vivienne's clients though survived the purge that voryn and nerevar did. his name is sen dres and he's been hiding out on solstheim getting enough political power to either go to skyrim and find vivi or get vivi when they come to solstheim. sen hates steren thinking steren is the one who convinced vivi to leave and his plan is to kill steren and take vivi back to morrowind to live with him forever. when he finds out vivi is the reincarnation of vivec he wants to force him to become vivec too because then he can have a god as his slave/husband. i hate sen dres so much. anyways he manages to get steren and vivienne alone and convinces vivi if he comes quietly they'll leave steren alive. only to promptly stab steren straight through the stomach and leave him there to bleed out while vivienne is gagged so he cant shout and drugged.
nerevar and voryn do arrive in time to help steren and heal him up. they were told by the house hlaalu dude actually what sen dres' plan was because that guy saw steren had the tattoo of a house hlaalu grandmaster and he doesn't want a potential high ranking member of house hlaalu to die. they get steren to safety and with the rest of the dragonborn gang rescue vivi and the two of them are happy together again while recovering :))) and steren gets to see his parents
steren and vivi also end up getting married eventually. yay!!!!!!
other stuff i couldnt figure out where to put it-- at first the good three think vivi is vivec. mephala sent steren to vivi to see if he'd betray steren to alleviate his own suffering. but vivienne did not, instead he took care of steren and wanted to escape with him. boethiah and azura both try to kill vivienne though. and molag bal thinks vivienne is vivec and should be married to him ugh. do you see why steren hates daedra.
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eah-confessions · 2 months ago
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i think people are too harsh on the apple and raven switched at birth theory. sure, people are not allowed to like it and i'm not against pointing out the flaws in it but i sort of think people are overly negative about it's flaws, and i hope that doesn't affect the creator. and i'm saying this as someone who doesn't agree with the theory and also heavily disagrees with it
first of all one of the takes ive seen is switched at birth would "destroy" the destiny themes of the show- to which i heavily disagree. i feel like if the writers added this revelation later on in the series if way too wonderland and dragon games didnt end the destiny arc it would point the flaws in the destiny system and change the relationship's the royals. both raven and apple's moms have one track mind and believe their destiny should be followed. it would be a massive revelation to the characters and affect their relationships. i dont think it would make all the "drama" useless considering how a lot of it stems from the culture of the fairytale world, and it would force the characters to really consider what the destiny system is. one of the biggest revelations it would be if the parents didnt know too somehow, and it was a mistake the doctors made and not intentional. (or even an ordinary citizen of bookend who was mad at the destiny system- just throwing ideas out) if the story suddenly went this way, i wouldnt like it but it doesnt feel impossible to be added to the ever after high story, given cerise and ramona's story being added late in the story or holly and poppy. i mean swapping two different babies compared to twins being born really close together is a huge reach- but still.
another thing i've seen is that because blond hair can be be recessive it disproves the theory. i understand the theory is mostly because of the hair colors of the characters not matching, but i dont really think this disprove it because it's really hard to dispute given how bare bones the theory is. many bad theories are intentionally or not intentionally difficult to disprove. i also thought, as far as i know never seeing both sets of parents even in an illustration for them is kind of suspicious to me. it would be interesting to see them focus on their family tree as well, but they didnt probably because that would kill the suspense of seeing these characters later on.
i do think this is a bad theory (its more of an idea than a theory), but an interesting story concept that could have even be considered for ever after high. i do think that its possible that this was an early idea for ever after high. consider the following: ever after high was in development for several years and wasnt even about fairytales at first, it was about witches. disney was even working on desendants as well. now part of me wonders if the reason that apple doesnt have black hair is because of disney and not wanting to make the characters too similar to disney's despite them having the well known versions of many characters. so they have to call back to the disney version (ex: adding yellow and gold in apple's design) without directly copying them. another thing that strikes me as interesting is that in one of the original versions of snow white she has "hair as black as ebony" yet in her future shown in the mirror we never see snow white in the future with the blonde turning into black hair. in fact its raven who undergoes more of a transformation. knowing how much ever after high uses the original source material of the original it's something to consider. another interesting thing to consider is the possibility if cerise was going to be more relevant this theme would make sense throughout the series, of inheriting a destiny that doesn't belong to you (i believe she was in the stop motion short) so with this i propose that it could have been considered at one point for the story, but didnt use it because it didnt work. another interesting idea is apple and raven not being switched, but being related somehow. like if the good king had a relationship with snow white but left her for evil queen and she had apple because of that. so apple and raven would be half sisters. again, not something i would want in canon but still interesting.
i know the original posters of these takes might disagree with me, but i feel like switched at birth- even though not a well carefully or thought out theory (literally just a "what if") can open up more discussions of the creative decisions on ever after high, and i feel like the community just going at this theory (as well as other communities going after theories that arent just "its not real") to me is sort of unproductive. ive seen too many takes on why it's stupid and i'm tired. i think the original creator, as far as i'm aware is a well read person who made one bad theory so when people say that it "lacks media literacy" i sort of get mad on their behalf, also hating that as a buzzword. so yeah, even though i think switched at birth is a "stupid" theory i think it's overcriticized in the fandom for being bad, when the concepts it has are really interesting outside of this theory. because the fact the ever after high designers made the child of snow white a blonde is very interesting from a design perspective because snow white is well known in many versions of her tale for having black hair. as well as the fact that ever after high was sort of mistreated by mattel and that affected the plot we were shown and how the fandom interacts with eah media. sorry if some people see this confession is just "people are too negative" but i do think people are blowing how bad this theory out of proportion. it's a bad theory with a lot of potential. i think this fandom in general has a lot of problems of overusing negative criticism and certain discussions becoming popular over others, like overfocusing on the selfishness of certain characters and whether or not apple (or raven) is a good or bad person objectively and arguing about it amongst each other instead of like... the larger actual story? i also think switched at birth would make a good AU and seeing what it would mean for their fairytales is so interesting. but not a good theory, no...
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rabbitbandit05 · 1 year ago
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Dangerously Yours (Vox x Reader)
I had this idea after listening to "Dangerously Yours" (1944) Masquerade episode on Spotify, and couldn’t help but write for it. I was originally going to write three chapters for it, but ive been very busy with college work and life so you can have the bullet points that was going to be the script for the story. This is also kinda piggybacking off my original post of "Y/N as a star", but this time with a twist. I hope you enjoy this post- and also reminder: My requests are open!!
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Alastor and you both know each other from when you were alive! Not only were the two of you close, but you were cousins.  
This story starts off with you, who is one of Alastors most trusted colleagues in hell (but are not an overlord). You are sent to the Vees tower to spy on them, and Alastor entrusts this task to you because of how closed off you are from the rest of hell and that no one should know you well enough to question who you are. 
Not only that- but no one knows your familiar relationship with Alastor so they wont be able to use that against you. 
In the event that you needed to escape, Alastors shadows would follow behind you from a distance to ensure your safety, and when you stomped you foot three times, you would be whisked away to a safe place.
With that all said and done, You make your way to the Vee’s tower on a day you knew a bunch of reporters would be there and questioning/ interviewing the Vee’s  
People are naturally drawn to you (not in a hypnotizing way- but in a way you are able to alter your aura to have people perceive you in any way you want them to) 
You end up making it a point to charm a bunch of reporters near the Vees tower to catch their attention. Not only that, but you play coy by pretending to not know the Vee’s and their influence. Now that really catches their attention because they are extremely prideful about their importance.
You claim it’s because you have barely left your old employer who kept her under a close watch and rarely let you use the internet/ technology (Not 100% false- you just preferred to stay away from the technology originally) 
Not only do you catch the attention of the Vee’s, but you catch the attention of Vox in particular, Who (after watching your playful and intentional nature) is determined to make you into a super star. 
Its all going according to plan, just as Alastor predicted. Something new and shiny shows itself to Vox and he cant resist trying to control it. 
You agree to work with Vox for a certain period of time before you actually sign a contract with the Vee’s (so that you are granted time to get in and out quickly without having to sell your soul to any of them).
You start to slowly get info on the Vees and how they run things, as well as creating a way for alastor to take them all down. They each have their weaknesses that only those who are allowed close to them are able to see. Its easy to assume a persons weakness, but to evaluate and calculate the best way to ensure their down fall is the best course of action.  
And whats that saying? Keep your friends close, Keep your enemies closer.  
Meanwhile, while working for the Vee’s, you are becoming more known throughout hell and are rising in popularity. 
You are the talk of the pride ring, with all the demons wondering where you came from and how you were so quickly able to captivate your audience. Only two demons on this side of hell are able to work such an audience after all- The radio demon and the Video demon. 
Its inevitable that you and Vox start a relationship with one another (very lowkey ofcourse, with no knowledge from the public, however people still suspect it)
You know its fake, and somewhere deep inside, vox suspects its fake, but both of you cant help but lean into it regardless. 
Its also inevitable that both of you develop feelings for one another, though neither of you can admit it… 
Eventually your act comes to a head though- as Vox finally admits to you that he knows who you are and what your plans are- Its not hard for him to find whatever information he wants, and that includes about you. He did a “background check” on who you were before coming here and found out about how you are related to the Radio demon. 
however as he confronts you, there is no aggressiveness in his voice, just an unsettling calmness that is even unusual for him… 
You are forced to stray from the original plan and now must protect yourself and what you know. 
You debate back with the video demon. He has it all wrong, that no matter what he does, he wont get the information he wants from you, and that you will end him if it comes down to it- if he forces you to (you both know this is a bluff but regardless, you refuse to die without a fight)
Vox doesn't argue with you- instead, he tries to get you to join the Vee’s and actually commit to being a star as well as joining him and the Vees in ruling. Forget Alastor, forget your ties to him or whatever debt you may owe him- he is giving you a choice that is up to you alone to make, and that is to join the Vee’s. 
Afterall, he cant bring himself to exist in his unlife without you- essentially admitting he loves you.
He also admits that regardless of weather you join them or not, Alastors time as an overlord is coming to an end soon… 
You can help but break down. Here you are given the chance to finally do something for yourself and act on the love you have for Vox- and you admit that to him, however you also confess that there will always be a part of you that wonders if he actually cares about you, or if he justs cares about the power you can bring to him… 
Not only that, but your loyalty will always be deeper to Alastor than it is to Vox, and Vox’s loyalty to winning against Alastor will always be deeper than his love for you. 
You end up stomping your foot three times on the floor, and then before Vox can say anything or move from his spot to stop you from leaving, you are engulfed in a circle of shadows and whisked away from the scene- ending up in your room at the Hotel. You collapse to the floor from the emotional exhaustion and heartbreak of it all- 
maybe in another death you could have been together… maybe if you were born a different person in your life you could have been together, but you both died in your current forms and are the demons you are- and you cant change that. 
Alastor walks up to you and ends up chuckling at your patheticness, as he helps hoist you up and walk you to the kitchen to make you something to eat to cheer you up. Maybe an old family recipe will bring you some comfort, and he can relish in your misery at missing home even more.
Vox’s mission to end Alastor becomes even more intense, as now he believes that ifd he kills Alastor, you will finally be freed from the guilt of being forced to follow and obey him, and finally be free to make your own choices. 
Vox also never informs the other Vee’s about your betrayal, and insist you were kidnapped and he is working on getting you back. 
The end. 
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thornswoggled · 7 months ago
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on chises family, “a storm brewing in the east,” and future arcs
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[ive written this post before, but its due for a refresh. now that jasper has been introduced, the whole last half of that post is moot, and i have additional thoughts on chika as well as more context on my thoughts on yori.]
now that fumiki is back in the picture, id like to theorize that yuuki hatori will soon follow. [see post: yori is fumiki and heres why.] more attention being paid to chises life in japan [ch 50, 75], chise wondering why her father “abandoned his role" [ch 57], and elias expressing curiosity over the circumstances that led her to meet seth [ch 74] are all hints towards yuukis story coming to light
one thing TAMB does that i love is how tertiary characters are facsimiles meant to help us understand our main characters. for example, all the dysfunctional pairs we see in the first arc that we are meant to compare and contrast elias and chise to, all in various ways that help us understand the ways their relationship might evolve. these minor characters may seem unimportant, but are preparing us to accept developments in the main cast. i believe there are two characters in the college arc that are prepping us for yuuki hatoris story - seth noel and adam sargent
lets first address fumiki, who ill just call yori. yori seems to have mastery over his eyes, which “have the power to bind [fae]” according to gabriella [ch 51]. this is a power both he and yuuki have, which protects chise and chika for a time. however, chika implies that he didnt always have this ability, or perhaps didnt have the sight at all until he became involved with her. which is strange, considering yori has a “family business” important enough to require he study abroad to train for:
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[sources: ch 19, ch 98]
(id like to note that this line about training is almost certainly a result of his "reeducation" in italy, as we already know that his true purpose was to audit and replace simon. but i think theres at least a kernel of truth to it)
lets run with the idea that yuuki started off with weak or nonexistent powers. have any other men in this series been booted from their families because they lacked the skill?
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[source: ch 63]
its possible that this “family business,” assuming it exists in truth and is not a fabrication of yoris brainwashing (which i dont think it is, considering he seems specialized in exorcism), eventually learned that yuuki acquired his binding powers, as well as a child with the same ability. again, are there are other men who are forcibly dragged back to their family, to the detriment of their young daughters?
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[source: ch 83]
theres a few reasons why i think such care and time was put into the backstory of philomelas family. chise has done much of the character growth thats possible for her at this time, and attempts to “fix” philomela as a way of fixing herself. she projects on her, and for good reason too, since we are meant to compare them almost 1:1. i believe that the amount of time sunk into adam sargents story is meant to warm us up to understanding yuukis situation, regardless of whether we are meant to forgive him for his abandonment. seths story, too, introduces us to the idea of magical families booting their unworthy kin. which leads us to:
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[source: ch 42]
going back to the screencap for the beginning, lets give yuuki the benefit of the doubt and assume hes being truthful when he promises hell be back one day. this phrasing is really interesting, and i feel like it implies yuuki knows the place hes going is dangerous. if hes returning to his family, or to some sort of organization (which i say because yori is part of the church), perhaps hes afraid that theyll be taken advantage of. or… maybe he was just lying! there is very little we understand about the church, so there are all manner of reasons why yuuki and yori may have ended up involved with them
regardless of reason, i dont believe that yuuki left because he wanted to. rather, i think he was being summoned. lets look at this little fae that appears twice, just pages apart:
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[source: ch 42]
this weasel-like creature appears as soon as yuuki gets home in the first instance, and appears again immediately before yuuki packs up to leave. it looks distinctly different from the abstract, blight-like monsters that trail this family day to day, and id like to theorize that it is specifically keeping tabs on yuuki. in my theory post about yori, i wrote that the fox yori keeps in a tube [ch 51] is a kuda-kitsune, a sort of familiar kept by soothsayers. another word for this type of creature is 飯綱, or izuna, which is read in modern japanese as... the least weasel! yamazaki has solidified her reputation as someone who doesnt shirk on research, and i think this linguistic connection is enough to suppose whether the weasel that summons yuuki home came from the same source as yoris familiar
now, to discuss something i neglected to mention in the first version of this post. the ways in which we can compare philomelas and chises families doesnt end with yuuki. not only is alcyone a sort of elias, but iris is a sort of chika. id like to start with noting that iris' backstory of having been sold by her parents is a reflection of the original backstory yamazaki wrote for chise in the first drafts of TAMB. the dregs of chises old backstory finally gets used when iris' story is revealed:
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[sources: merkmal, ch 83]
iris and chika are two mothers who deeply love their children, but are doubtful that they will be able to protect them when it counts:
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[sources: ch 83, ch 42]
this next part might be a little controversial, but id like to take a look at the scene when chika snaps. specifically, the way her inner voice is framed:
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[source: ch 42]
the black mist that we see in the apartment is similar to other depictions of malevolent magical energy weve seen before, such as the blight elias creates just one chapter before in ch 41 when he languishes over chise leaving him. it also seems to be pouring in from the same window where we've seen the weasel hanging out. the way chikas intrusive thoughts are depicted as a separate, shadowy figure is also remarkably similar to chises inner voice that tells her to kill the nucke-lavee:
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[source: ch 61]
its possible that the voice that urges chika to kill chise is coming from somebody else entirely. like how chises curse[s] urge her to violence, i think theres a chance that someone wanted chise and chika to die, but didnt want to get their hands dirty. after all, if the family yuuki left behind died, he would stop trying to leave to reunite with them or retrieve them. being able to frame their deaths as a result of his abandonment would also be great manipulation fodder if he was summoned to wherever he went against his will
to be a naysayer of my own theory, i think it would cheapen chikas death if it turned out that she was not wholly responsible for her own actions. it would also make chises refusal to forgive her less impactful if it... literally wasnt her fault. but the way her attempt to kill chise is visually depicted makes me think theres a nonzero chance she truly didnt want to do it
lets take a look at the way iris' and chikas deaths are depicted:
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[sources: ch 83, ch 42]
the visual of billowing curtains was often used in early chapters when it wasnt yet clear what happened to chises mother, and it gets used again when iris dies. and just as chika throws herself off the balcony, alcyone leaps through the window with philomela. im also stuck on the line of "we messed up and let his daughter escape." i dont mean to imply that i think we should hold up philomela and chises respective backstories as 100% 1:1, but they are remarkably similar in terms of broad plot points. if the same force that compelled yuuki to leave also compelled chika to get rid of the remains of yuukis old life, i wonder why it is that no one ever directly tried to kill chise again. did they lose track of her when she began moving from home to home?
speaking of... do we know whether chika took yuukis surname when they married, or the other way around? japanese law requires spouses to have the same last name, but husbands will sometimes take their wifes name. as far as i know, theres no explicit confirmation that the hatori family chise stays with in the OVA are related to yuuki or chika. just as seth changed his name when he was driven from the webster family, it could be that yuuki distanced himself from his past by taking chikas name. after all, if the hatoris who care for chise are truly so fed up with her, why would they not attempt to track down yuuki and "return" her if hes their relative?
(by the way, what yuuki did in taking fumiki was legal. japan is only just now going to start allowing joint custody in 2026, "parental child abduction" was not illegal at the time we're to suppose TAMB takes place, and yuukis disappearance can be considered an instance of jōhatsu. i just think its important for cultural context, because as a western reader i know i tripped up on "wait, WHY was yuuki allowed to do that without consequence?")
do i think that yuuki will ever physically appear in the story again now that fumiki has? i would love him to, but i dont know that chise will ever be allowed the closure of seeing his point of view:
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[source: ch 42]
theres such a sense of finality to this line. just as philomela was only able to speak to her father in the form of a curse taking his shape, i dont know that chise will have the luxury of meeting yuuki again. theres a strong possibility that hes already dead, especially if he persisted in attempting to reunite with the rest of his family. frankly, i always thought he looked unhappy with his life in the scenes from ch 42, but his instinct in wanting to bring chise with him makes me believe that only death would ensure he never tried to see or support her again. though, if this is a safe space for me to express a little self-indulgence:
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[source: ch 51]
we still dont know who sent yori to audit simon. the church is such a large organization ("a loose collection of private armies," as gabriella puts it in this same chapter) that yori being taken to be reeducated by another branch of the same organization that sent him to audit simon in the first place is not unusual or contradictory. let me first state that i dont think yori has ever been aware that he has a sister, or that he knows chise is in any way related to him (again, this post supposes that yori is fumiki). but in my heart of hearts, in my very soul, i do think it would be just so wonderfully dramatic for yuuki - or any member of his family, for that matter - to send yori off to ensure that elias, and chise by association, are under the watchful eye of someone they can more reliably control. if chise was not worth anything to them when chika died, perhaps their interest in her is piqued now that shes a mage-in-training under the apprenticeship of a vastly powerful creature. even if its not yuuki trying to figure out what the deal is with the mage who bought his daughter, perhaps his family is interested in how she can contribute to them
again, to be a naysayer to my own theories before someone else can be, i doubt that yoris reeducation and months-long stay with simon would be overlooked if a member of yuukis family sent him for the initial auditing. though theres a chance alonza had a hand in making sure his stay with simon continues. we just have to wait and see
under what context might we meet the rest of chises family? i have some ideas, but this soon into the arc everything is too subject to change. im also not convinced any of this will be addressed in the fiendbane arc. after all, yori was first introduced at the beginning of the college arc, and is only now becoming relevant. so all of this may only be laying the groundwork for yuuki to return in another arc, if not this one, which already has a lot cooking with the dragon, the new mage, etc. but then again, we get oberons little prophecy:
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[source: ch 99]
it doesnt seem that oberons phrasing in the JP text matches what the great wall of china is called in japanese, but i dont think we are meant to interpret "a distant land" in any way other than japan. yamazaki has a quirky tendency to refer to japan in her works as a faraway land in the east, which extends to spinoffs like wizards blue
with the growing interest elias has expressed in chises life before she met him, and with the appearance of yori, perhaps we will learn more about yuukis story and circumstances when the brewing storm finally breaks. her family may even have something to do with it! but i doubt that any of this will come to fruition during the current arc. so until we get the next arc several years from now... ill leave you with this theory!
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lynnlovesthestars · 7 months ago
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The veil, chapter 1.
Astarion x oc (@wisterialynn)
Fluff, little angsty at the end but not too much.
AN: I'm aliveee this is finally chaoter one of the veil, ive been working on it for a while, i wrote it like 4 times before being satisfied with it ngl, but here it is..
for those who missed the intro, you can find it here.
The picture is a render i made in blender of astarion n lynn
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The ‘poor vampire in need of a cuddle’ sat with arms wide open, and despite the bite being real, everything was too good to be true? How often do you hear of waking up next to the man of your dreams? And a fictional man at it? NEVER. Lynn was not going to believe it until he’s sure he’s not delusional, and even if it was real, there was still a major problem that needed to be addressed. He couldn’t just close an eye on it, it felt.. wrong.
“You don't know me” He sighed, Astarion was in a game, where his actions were controlled by someone else, him. A game where he was stripped of his free will- do characters in games even understand the concept of free will? But nevertheless, he didn’t know anything about him, the one Astarion fell for.. Was not real, Lynn was different from the game Lynn, so different. Starting from the fact that game-Lynn is tall, muscular, and Lynn was actually barely taller than Astarion, and lean, definitely not jacked like Lynn though. 
As he sat there overthinking he realized how even in his brain this was confusing, so many Lynns, and such a small brain Lynn had.
“I know you enough” Astarion’s demeanor relaxed, his eyes softened as if in understanding of his point, yet still holding that fondness you’d expect from a lover. It made Lynn’s heart soft, so soft he could have almost ignored the problem, if it wasn’t for the guilt that would haunt him for lying to him.
“But what you felt, the person you met.. that Lynn is not me.” He lowered his eyes nervously, fidgeting with his hands.
Astarion leaned forward, his hand cupped Lynn’s cheek and gently guided his head to look up at him, his look expectant. “I know, but I heard you.. your laugh, your rambling, I heard you cry.. and I'm pretty sure I heard you please yourself-.” He grabbed Lynn's hand with his free one to kiss the back of it, nonchalantly ignoring the last bit of his admission.
‘You heard me what?!’ Lynn gasped shocked, yet stopped before he could ask for more details.
“The point is, now I have all the time in the universe to get to know you.” He smiled tenderly- a new habit he had developed just because of Lynn- in those hours when he’d ramble to someone else, or when he’d sit commenting as he went through the story- as he traced the swell of Lynn’s cheek. “I want to experience all that I missed..” He admitted taken over by the need to open his heart to him. “I want to live it all with you, again and I want to get to know you like you know me.” His claw trailed at last, following the ever so soft path traced by the pad of his finger as Astarion kissed his temple. “I want to see your smiles, I want to kiss you so bad I've never felt like this before.. I just want the chance to love you like you and I deserve.” He confessed at last while for a moment, he had almost swore he heard his dead heart pound in his chest.
It was a lot to take in for Lynn, all his life everything was so ordinary, boring even, so this chance to live something unique.. Was too good to be true. He couldn’t help his pessimism from ebbing through. 
“What if I'm not as you expected? What if I'm underwhelming? Life here.. is much more boring.. I am much more boring” He lowered his eyes ashamed. He dreamt to be his for weeks, no months, he’d wake up sobbing and alone wishing to be enough for that kind of love that went above and beyond.
“Maybe I need some boring” Astarion gently brushed the stray tear that cascaded down Lynn’s cheek so quickly he swore it was almost a reflex. “We don’t need to rush this, just like you taught me” He smiled as he kissed the tip of his nose. 
“I mean, I didn’t-” Lynn was cut off before he could say more. “No, no, I remember your voice..” He pointed at him with his head. “..you went on a pretty long monologue on ‘how you wished you could actually remind me that there’s no rush, and how you wished you’d be by my side all the way” He nodded proudly as he paraphrased the words he had heard through the veil. Lynn couldn’t help but chuckle at his memory, the monologue in question still  imprinted in his mind- since he had bored one of his friends about it- as Astarion instead was staring at his lips. “Can I kiss you..?” He whispered as he resisted the urge to just do it, to kiss him. To do it desperately, sloppy, uncalculated.
Lynn didn't know how to put into words his insecurities, what words would properly say ‘people like me don’t often kiss so, i apologize if i barely know what i'm doing’, whatever he could come up with sounded pretty lame. “I haven't kissed in a while” He admitted ashamed, shaking his head. What he didn’t know was that Astarion didn’t care, he barely knew what he was doing himself- in a different universe and with the emotional stability of a log.
“It's okay.. we can fix that” Astarion hummed.
Lrynn's touch was gentle, shaky almost as he cupped Astarion's cheek, his eyes tracing the path from Astarion's nose to his lips as if he had never seen him before, and he finally understood what they meant when in books they mentioned the butterflies. He could feel that sensation rising deep in his stomach as he was so close to him, so close from kissing him.
His thumb swiped his cheek gently as the other arm wrapped around the vampire's middle, they were on their knees, in front of each other, one still completely dressed while the other sat only on his shirt, all over the place.
"You are even more breathtaking up close" Lynn murmured as he leaned forward, brushing his nose with Astarion's, hesitant to close the distance between them.
"I wish I could put into words what I'm feeling right now" Astarion whispered as he took the lead, his lips pressing softly against Lynn’s while his hand cupped his cheek.
It was maddening how they were deprived of the feeling for so long, how their lips chased each other for more.
One single, gentle kiss quickly turned into a lot of small, desperate ones which became gasps for air as they desperately held onto each other.
They barely understood how they ended up laying, Astarion’s clothes mostly discarded as their shirts and undergarments were only left. “You are mine, you understand?” Astarion kissed his neck, his cold tongue trailing to his collarbone as he had to resist the urge to bite down on the supple flesh of his shoulder.
“Y-yes” Lynn whimpered under the vampire’s skilled touch.
“Good, my sweet” Astarion purred as he reluctantly pulled back, pulling the other down with him under the duvet. “Much better” Astarion hummed as he relished the feeling of the head pressed against his chest, and the warm body enveloping him instead of the unnecessarily heavy pieces of armor.
God knows how long they laid there in silence. Lynn could feel it deep in his bones that he was going to wake up any time soon.
“Tell me of this world” Astarion broke the silence of the barely lit room.
“Well vampires don’t exist here, and neither does magic” He thinks out loud. “Wait” A sudden idea floated in his brain.. If vampires don’t exist.. Could it be..?  The idea of being able to treasure this moment forever makes the butterflies in Lynn’s stomach erupt happily.
The human reaches to his nightstand, his phone reading ‘7 am’ as he unlocks the device. His cheeks flush deeply as he has to old back from staring at his lockscreen. 
“What’s that?” Astarion asks, confused as he follows the other movements, curious of the device in his hands. 
“This is a phone, you can talk to people with it, and go on the internet, and take pictures with it” He explains as he quickly looks for his camera app. “See, i want to remember this forever, but i don’t know if it’ll work” He drops the phone on his chest before taking a peak, wanting to find out if it worked right there with Astarion.
“I suppose but whatever it is, it can't hurt to try..”
“You are right “ He smiles as he picks up the phone again and looks at the screen.
“Ah it’s that man again” Astarion scoffs as he takes a better look at the screen where the same face as the lock screen shows up, this time dressed- or rather undressed differently. “Do you have a boyfriend or something?” He grasps at Lynn’s wrist, jealousy bubbling in his stomach at the thought as he goes back to ignore the screen.
“You are an idiot, you know?” Lynn laughs as he realizes what was happening. “Can we focus on what we were doing?” He asks, trying to keep his laughter down.
“Sure” He scoffs. “What are we doing?” He asks as Lynn lifts up his phone again, this time met with the image of that man and Lynn way too close for the vampire’s taste.
“It's called a picture, it's like a painting but taken instantly, and here..” Lynn raises his free hand to point at the screen, where the image mimics his movements perfectly. “You can see the outcome” He smiles, astonished at the image displayed, at the way Astarion’s locks and Lynn’s mixed on the pillow, how slowly Astarion’s eyes widened as he sat up, his nose impossibly close to the screen as the shutter sound echoed in the room before Astarion could understand completely.
“Is that..?” He asked as he tapped on the screen, amazed how the figure in the silly machine would follow him almost instantly. Magic if Lynn didn’t already tell him there was no such thing there.
“Yes love…” Lynn smiled as he gave the vampire all the time he needed.
He was astounded, speechless even as he noticed the way his ears twitched and reddened, his eyes fell on his fangs, so many times he tried to understand how sharp they were, yet nothing compared to how they looked, so polished despite never sharpening them. The fangs that sunk in so many animals, and so many times in the throats of evil creatures since he had met tav.
Then he locked eyes with himself, a shiver ran down his spine. Those were the piercing eyes with which he seduced men and women of all kind all over the gates, those were the eyes kids would be scared of at night, those were the eyes that no one in the gates would ever miss.
It was imperceptible the change in the vampire, yet Lynn couldn’t help but notice how his lips suddenly curled down.
“Star?” He called unsure, what if it was all too much for him? What if he saw something he disliked? What if? It was something  his mind couldn’t stop.
“Sorry, I got mesmerized by the handsome fellow in there” He lied.
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witchynek0 · 8 months ago
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why I think Ultraman:Rising a one of the better movies in the last months
I watch ALOT of movies, and im not joking, I have alot of free time. and recently I have taken notice that alot of movies, especially animated ones, feel rushed. MAJOR SPOILER ALERT ultra man rising although a long movie, feels really slow. you get to meet Ken Sato. a cocky baseball player, but also; Ultraman! he accidentally picks up a kaiju baby, and is asked to raise it till the baby can go back to its native land, all while fighting the KGB.
ken sato is a cocky baseball player playing for ‘the giants’, with no family, and no friends. he is confident and full of himself, and sure he will make the Giants Great again. all on his own. he doesnt care about his team, and he doesnt care about his reputation. the night of his game he has to work on a Kaiju attack where he saves kaiju baby and takes them to his base. keeping it safe from the KGB, who want to use the baby to find Kaiju Island and kill all Kaiju
i've watched this movie on repeat since it came out, the buildup of the story and the small details and secrets that get revealed as the story progresses keep you guessing and grasping for more. the movie lets you form an attachment to the character, and doesnt rush you by telling you all the ‘lore’ as quickly as possible and then moving on to the problem and how they solve it. 
Ami seems to play a key role in Ken his development, the ‘off the record chat’ seems to open his mind. he asks her how she juggles her job and kid, since he is having a hard time with it. ami says “...they are trying to discover who they are, and what they want. and the only support they have; is us. imperfect messed up us dealing with our own issues. trying to figure out who we are…” 
this strikes ken to free the baby Kaiju, and teaches her Baseball. with trial and error the baby kaiju, named Emi later. explore their bond. safely in the base. the next day when Ken is on a promised follow up interview with Ami, Emi gets out of the base, follows a blip with one of Satos commercials on it. and climbs a tower. ken saves her for falling but breaks her arm in the process and has to ask his dad for help. all of this happens in roughly a hour, see how much that is? how much ive written down about Ken sato and how you got to know him? now this is not all that is shown in the movie, so do watch it if you havent. because this is just the tip of the iceberg. and there is another hour left. 
and in that hour, Emi changes and learns alot. Ken his dad gets more involved. and i havent even mentioned the AI robot that helps ken during this first half of the movie. i dont mention the KGB and their underlying motive. this movie offers so much compared to others ive watched. lets take for example disneys Wish. (dont come at me disney i do still love you) it was fast, i barely got the plot the first time around and i felt rushed and hurried. i watched Wish $ times i still dont really get it. and feel like i havent seen all of the movie. and not just disney, but alot of ‘BIG’ companies lately, have made rushed movies that werent thought through. the story isnt rich and flavourful Pho. but more like a diluted murky beef broth, still good, but less satisfying. the animated movie industry ahs been through some hardship lately, new techniques. and mostly the animators, who work hard for little pay, under alot of stress to make good content cause our attention span doesnt last. and the internet is fast paced. ive made animations, by hand, and its so hard to get it looking good. im here to tell you, Ultraman;Rising is the movie id show people when they ask me “what do you want to do as an animator?” and i say “make something as good as this is.” 
id also like to make it clear that yes, there are good if not better OTHER animated movies, but this is recent and is the best example in the moment.
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