#the audiobook is very good though btw. definitely amateur but overall enjoyable to listen to

[its-no-biggie]

started reading worm - gotta say im a little underwhelmed so far

its a bit..... juvenile? especially considering the non-warning at the beginning about how if youre looking for a trigger warning you should just steer clear - that kinda thing is gonna set my expectations yknow...... (it also puts kind of a bad taste in my mouth, but thats neither here nor there.) i am only on arc 2, so im absolutely expecting a dramatic escalation at some point, but as of now i find the depictions of bullying cartoonish and the action scenes underwhelming in their intensity.

i also find the protagonist kind of insufferable...... thats most of the problem honestly. her views about right and wrong are hopelessly naive, and her sense of superiority paired with a victim complex makes the way she thinks about other people downright painful to be immersed in. and in first person, no less. im not opposed to this as a setup for future character growth, but if there has been even a single attempt to endear me to this character thus far, it has not worked in the slightest.

and so far the setup is pretty generic - we have a young, unremarkable protagonist, who is getting bullied to a frankly ridiculous degree, so that when they eventually unlock their hidden potential as The Chosen One, they can bask in glorious victory over their tormentors without ever having stooped to their level. its a pretty straightforward ya power fantasy. and there's nothing wrong with that as a premise, but a straightforward revenge fantasy like that (whether you plan to follow through or you're going for the bait-and-switch) requires me to be rooting for the protagonist. which im really not...... but if the point is that the protagonist sucks and shes not going to get the satisfying revenge she wants, why has there been so much page time spent on just how cruel these girls are being, and how much they would deserve whatever's coming to them? its kind of frustrating!

and i mean, part of me does want taylor to snap, if only because she refuses to use her powers on her bullies and i want to see her flimsy morals buckle under the strain. but im not really invested in the degree to which shes suffering, because shes just so ANNOYING about it. like ohhh my god we get it! you would have SUCH a witty comeback if you could just get a word in edgewise. your bully only got such high regards from the teacher because she stole YOUR amazing work. youre so much better than the LOSERS youre stuck getting paired with for group work. its constant! maybe this character type wouldve appealed to me as a middle schooler with no friends and a superiority complex, but now im finding it completely insufferable to read, and as a result im not invested in her desire to get back at her bullies at all. which may be the point? i hope its the point. its fine if these scenes are frustrating on purpose, as long as theres payoff for it later.

im just having such a hard time getting a read on this story...... i think because the writing style is pretty amateurish, im a bit unsure what to think. i want to believe theres going to be a well-written development to really kick things off, but i also dont want to get my hopes up.......

so anyway. this isnt even really a criticism, im not saying its necessarily a bad start (although it is undeniably a slow one), im just engaging with what ive been presented so far and speculating about where its going from here. i'll definitely be pleased if the juvenile worldview and self-important attitude of the protagonist are being set up here to be knocked down over the course of the story, and id say im about 70% confident it's heading in at least that general direction. gimme that sweet sweet loss of innocence arc pleaseeeeee this girl is pissing me OFF