#sorry theres a lot to explain with him

[trickstarbrave]

TCS FRIDAY BABEYYYY

i just wanna talk about steren because i love him. sorry for what will no doubt be rambling u_u @the-elder-polls i will be including art and stuff as necessary bc i love my boyyyyyyy and ive drawn him a lot

he's technically a nerevarine. he isnt nerevar's reincarnation though, instead nerevar (trans) and voryn had a kid by accident and well. steren is the reincarnation of THAT child.

first lifetime in his early life he was born at kogoruhn and raised in house dagoth. The cover story is nerevar was on a pilgrimage for azura and voryn had a drunken affair with a woman. steren is born, voryn fakes the death of the random woman, now he has a son. very few people know the truth. nerevar wanted to raise him but he was originally born a commoner and while he's strong enough to protect himself, he wouldn't put it past anyone with a grudge to target a literal infant just to spite him. nerevar still visits often though, under the guise that of course he'd be nice to his closet friend's son

steren was born a few years before the war of the first council though. tensions were getting high between the chimer and previously quiet dwemer, and house dagoth being the spies for the chimer by and large discovered what kagrenac was up to. you know the rest (mostly). nerevar and voryn die, the tribunal become gods, the dwemer vanish, everyone becomes dunmer except ayem and half of vivec... tribunal had caught on though that steren was nerevar's son as well though and they think it is particularly cruel to kill nerevar's only child just because he's of house dagoth blood. so they pretty much wipe his memories for the most part and have him raised in house indoril.

steren grew up in house indoril, and eventually realized he was of house dagoth. he confronts vivec who had become a sort of mentor to him, and vivec tells him to leave it in the past. he was spared because he was an innocent child. house dagoth were destroyed because they were traitors. they had to be purged from morrowind. there is nothing in the past that will give steren the answers and comfort he wants and will only lead him to his doom. this goes over as well as you would expect with him leaving house indoril and looking for answers alone. at some point he got married and had a kid, but his mission was about uncovering the secrets of house dagoth the tribunal tried to bury and learn more about his parents. he's killed during a collapse of some ruins. his wife takes the kid and promptly leaves morrowind, fearing what the temple may do now that steren is dead

family line continues for a while, and during this time nerevar's ghost has been watching over them. he felt too bad leaving his son all alone in the world, so he silently watched over him, heartbroken. then steren died and nerevar followed his child, his child's child, and so on. up to the third era where steren is reborn to a dying woman on the run from some illiac bay nobleman. after she dies, steren goes to an orphanage. unknown parents, born under a certain sign, fulfilling the prophecy. he's arrested when, after leaving a house he was robbing, he stumbles upon a dead body at the completely wrong time. the trial is shit because this is the TES universe (guilty until proven innocent is canon fsr, dont let me ramble about why we'll be here all day) and he develops a fear of large crowds having their eyes all on him (idk what thats called). he stays 3 months in prison before being pardoned and shipped to morrowind. despite it being his home province he never heard great things about it.

he follows the storyline pretty closely. except that this is my world so mods like tamriel rebuilt are canon for me. he joins house hlaalu and the mages guild. he's really freaked out by all the sleepers who know him by name saying weird shit calling him 'prince' or some shit so he decides to take the opportunity to visit the mainland when the mages guild asks him to. on the mainland he does a bunch of stuff but finds vissamu and an ancient tome from house dagoth. he doesnt know why but he cant let go out of the house dagoth stuff. its familiar. but it also makes his heart ache.

more importantly though on the mainland is he comes across a dunmer who didn't know what house or family he was from. a nearby temple has you gather ingredients for a ritual to summon an ancestor spirit. steren does it correctly and then after seeing the guy happy to know who he is and able to build a relationship with his deceased family, asks the temple to do the same for him. an ancestor spirit is in fact summoned but before they can reveal who steren is, nerevar shoos them away. all steren knows is it fails but the priest sees what is clearly saint nerevar watching over him and tells him he doesnt know why it failed but that he is watched over well. steren hears a voice urging him to go outside and does so. there, nerevar reveals himself, able to communicate with him now, and tells him he stopped the spirit. she wanted to come and talk to him, but she was a woman of house dagoth (voryns mom specifically) and nerevar feared what might happen if his lineage was revealed to others. steren is kinda freaked out, asking if he'll go insane like some of the sleepers he sees, but nerevar assures him he wont let that happen.

back on vvardenfell steren continues his questing. gets corprus, cures corprus. goes to kogoruhn and finds at the old family hearth a bottle with what was originally his baby teeth as well as locks of hair from both parents, typical things to leave near the family hearth for protection. steren takes it with him, not knowing why he's so attached to it.

after getting the ring though he gets his past life memories back and realizes he's not nerevar reborn. he has memories of "uncle nerevar" in his first life. he demands answers, crying, and nerevar comes clean that no, he isn't nerevar reborn. nerevar didnt want him doing this either, but azura has no other options because nerevar refused to reincarnate and apologizes to steren. but steren asks how he can wear the ring then and nerevar is quiet before explaining that while he was alive he asked azura to modify the enchantment so that nerevar and his descendants can wear the ring. that steren's other parent was always nerevar, but nerevar couldnt be open about that fact because he couldnt bear the thought of his own child being killed

fighting dagoth ur is particularly painful because dagoth ur recognizes steren as his son but well. he's still insane. dagoth ur thinks steren is too corrupted and blinded by the tribunal who stole him away and brainwashed him, but dagoth ur can kill and remake him, just like he did his brothers. then he can bring back nerevar, purge the empire from morrowind, and live together as a family, proud and openly. defeating him was not easy emotionally or physically tbh, but steren did win.

also at some point he got trueflame. i havent figured out when he did the tribunal dlc quite yet. it might be while he was on the mainland if im being honest but i feel like almalexia would def spill the beans on who he is. maybe he takes out the assassins, comes back, gets the ring, and then goes to deal with the rest of the stuff from tribunal.

after daogth ur's defeat, azura comes to usher nerevar to moonshadow. spirits arent supposed to remain in the realm of the living for too long and he risks being completely destroyed. nerevar is worried, but steren assures him he'll be fine, and nerevar goes to rest. then azura says she'll give steren any gift within her power to him as a reward for doing such a difficult task, and steren says he just wants to be with his parents again. azura frowns and says she cant bring back the living. steren knows. azura is even more upset because steren is not that old for dunmer and is already asking to die. but instead of killing him she sends him to another world where his parents ARE alive. and also 200 years in the future where theyre together in hopes steren can be with his parents and live happily there. she's going to let this worlds nerevar and voryn have the memories of steren's world too so it wont be weird.

mephala though intervenes with the reasoning "you can just send people to different worlds and time periods. you'll fucking break the dragon." and drops him off not in mournhold but in blacklight, outside of a brothel where the reincarnation/child of vivec (named vivienne, who belongs to @wellthebardsdead) is currently being kept. in this world nerevar was the nerevarine, azura restored him to his status, voryn reincarnated, i wrote about them getting together here. steren, strongly resembling voryn, is taken in by force and fed poison to both diminish his strength and keep him from healing the injuries from dagoth ur. but he and vivienne save up money from tips and escape. steren couldnt take his ring or sword but he figures the brothel madam probably pawned them off and he should just gtfo of morrowind before the temple figures out theres two copies of nerevar's ring and sword and if theres an impersonator running around. they hop on a boat like a day or two before voryn and nerevar track down the brothel in blacklight to look for steren.

they get off the boat in.... SKYRIM!!! surprise, vivienne is the dragonborn too. he and steren are very close but very shy about admitting the fact theyre in love. theyre both traumatized and afraid of hurting the other or being rejected. im sure you can imagine.

look at how cute they are...

also since steren isn't the dragonborn he doesnt do much of the msq. he is more like a follower but he has some side content he does. he joins the companions, contracts lycanthrope (thanks hircine, not helping steren's opinion of daedra at all), ends up doing the forsworn conspiracy and after breaking out of the mine the forsworn take over markarth. vivienne does the thieves guild and steren helps with that bc he does know some dwemer from being taught it by both nerevar as a ghost and voryn when he was a kid. also he did the mages guild in morrowind so he knows a lot of dwemer stuff. oh steren also got fucked up by the heart of lorkhan a little and during the peace talks he did make the throat of the world start shaking when he got violently angry. steren is also not at all impressed with delphine (he already didnt like the blades for obvious reasons)

oh they also adopt a scrib. named mr scribbles. its later revealed scribbles is a girl but (sorry i cant draw bugs well)

alduin is defeated and vivienne comes back. steren was worried sick but is happy to have his beloved back. they confess, its cute, and steren gifts him a necklace he made with traditional house dagoth craftsmanship

shortly afterwards though miraak's cultists show up and despite what they want they have to go to solthsheim and deal with it..... ugh. while all this is going on nerevar and voryn arrived in skyrim and were trying to track their son down sort of on a wild goose chase. by the time they catch up steren and vivi are on their way to solstheim.

on solstheim they try to keep a low profile. steren uses a bandana to keep the big red star on his face covered. vivienne ends up getting turn grey and cold like vivec which doesnt help the vivec allegations. after he's turned steren starts getting some gold patches on him too (i forgot the red star like an idiot sorry)

one of vivienne's clients though survived the purge that voryn and nerevar did. his name is sen dres and he's been hiding out on solstheim getting enough political power to either go to skyrim and find vivi or get vivi when they come to solstheim. sen hates steren thinking steren is the one who convinced vivi to leave and his plan is to kill steren and take vivi back to morrowind to live with him forever. when he finds out vivi is the reincarnation of vivec he wants to force him to become vivec too because then he can have a god as his slave/husband. i hate sen dres so much. anyways he manages to get steren and vivienne alone and convinces vivi if he comes quietly they'll leave steren alive. only to promptly stab steren straight through the stomach and leave him there to bleed out while vivienne is gagged so he cant shout and drugged.

nerevar and voryn do arrive in time to help steren and heal him up. they were told by the house hlaalu dude actually what sen dres' plan was because that guy saw steren had the tattoo of a house hlaalu grandmaster and he doesn't want a potential high ranking member of house hlaalu to die. they get steren to safety and with the rest of the dragonborn gang rescue vivi and the two of them are happy together again while recovering :))) and steren gets to see his parents

steren and vivi also end up getting married eventually. yay!!!!!!

other stuff i couldnt figure out where to put it-- at first the good three think vivi is vivec. mephala sent steren to vivi to see if he'd betray steren to alleviate his own suffering. but vivienne did not, instead he took care of steren and wanted to escape with him. boethiah and azura both try to kill vivienne though. and molag bal thinks vivienne is vivec and should be married to him ugh. do you see why steren hates daedra.

[hinata-boke]

tiny birthday boy doodle!!

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

[jonahmagnus-research]

Autism is in fact real. While the symptoms are things that most people experience to a degree, the difference between the average person and someone who is autistic is the level at which they experience these things. While most people can miss social cues, a person with autism may miss them even when they are being specifically pointed out. Everyone feels discomfort at unpleasant stimuli, but someone with autism is far more likely to become incapacitated by such situations. The diagnosis is not 'illegitimate' as you put it. Though it also does not mean there is something wrong with someone, or that they are inherently different from people as a whole, it is simply something to be aware of to make ways of coping with certain problems and sensitivities easier.

Extraordinarily insensitive of you to call it 'illegitimate' like that.

Alright. My apologies, I suppose.

[sleepygaymerdisease]

something ive noticed a lot in fantasy media is that the religions are either obviously evil/hyperbolized/meant to be mocked/etc or the gods are like Actually Real. which is honestly odd to me. especially the second one. like idk, as interesting as the concept can be i dont think that any religious figure needs to prove their existence (or that their existence has to be proven false) for the audience to take their impact on the characters or society seriously. like idk the way that religion is written to have a "correct" answer is really telling i guess

[sheila--e]

you're all wrong about fugo none of you get him...

[n9ph]

debated posting this to my other blog cause i am a little embarrassed to publically talk about how i have an insane intrest in anything beginners bible related due to mandela but at some point i will definitely make a larger post relating to intresting things i have found

[officialrickshades]

I AM VERY INTERESTED IN YOUR CAMPAIGN CHARACTER, PLEASE TELL ME MORE

ME? MY LITTLE GUY? I LOOK UP WITH BIG OL EYES...

(before we start off- i want to clarify his epithet is Thief)

he is one of the characters thats incredibly hard for me to play due to how different his reactions to certain situations would be from mine, but because of that it makes me want to study him LIKE A BUG. honestly i should draw him more soon but hes weirdly hard for me to draw for literally no reason (i think its how inconsistent his outfit is?)

the most basic parts of his character is, he plays himself off someone whos very lax and uncaring. hes a master criminal! he doesnt need anybody, he’s just in it for himself, yeah? and most people he meets? they play along with that! so why should he even try to be anything other than that. really, everyone should see stuff like this coming from him! hes not a good person and he know that.

to get into the MEAT of him though- (SORRY ABOUT THE WALL OF TEXT IM BONKERS ABOUT HIM)

i point at Ori, EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN WITH SELF IMAGE PROBLEMS AND TRUST ISSUES SO BAD HE SELF SABOTAGES AND TAKES OTHERS DOWN WITH HIM. AND ALSO RUNS FROM TOUGH SITUATIONS VERY QUICKLY.

look i have so much brain rot about him at times, that i will just, put his playlist right here. i love him. i want to throw him off a bridge. i look at him and all the things he does wrong and i want to THROTTLE HIM. I WANT TO SHAKE HIM UNTIL HE MAKES BETTER CHOICES. thankfully he is getting on his Character Arc and slowly learning that he can care and be cared for. though he is in a transition stage for his character and its GOING TO BE A WHILE UNTIL THE NEXT SESSION......

hes coming to terms right now, with the fact that people have ACTUALLY placed trust in him, and... hes scared. hes scared because theres a part of that actually doesn’t want to disappoint them, but he feels like hes going to no matter how hard he tries. him trying to leave shouldve been proof enough, but still she... she trusts him. part of him cant help but want to trust her to. to... try harder to. even if he knows he shouldnt either.

also he has performance anxiety, specifically in the form of stage fright.

(the picture is a /j)

IF YOU READ THIS FAR MY GOD, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME GO ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT OVER MY STUPID LITTLE MAN

[sanchoyo]

re: last post I genuinely do think each ygo series has its own charm and I think its so funny when ppl get attached to the spinoffs esp. like they all have their merits and theres not rly a BAD start series, it just depends on ur own tastes!! theres something for everyone!! I think its rly fun to hear ppl explain WHY their favorite series is their favorite, too, when theyve seen more than (1) series

but I also do think ur fav series does say smth abt ur tastes. lol

[landofgay]

kinda feels like I'm on a see saw and on one side is BF's back getting fixed him getting a better position at work me going back to work and us being happy. and on the other side is him being fired and not ever getting his back fixed and him and me being depressed and living with his parents up until one of us offs ourselves. and it's hard to see like. an inbetween rn.

[purbiworl]

For blorbo bingo: Spruce

I'm undeniably unable to live a normal life thanks to this robotic green bastard 💚 I can't even spot a single piece of firewood on the street without thinking it's a sign from the blorbo gods telling me I'll get new lore.

[lockburn-castle]

midnight snack | yoon jeonghan

synopsis in which you feel guilty having a midnight snack pairing nonidol!yoon jeonghan x gn!reader genre fluff warnings food mentions, dieting concerns, late night eating, terms of endearment/petnames (babe, hannie), a small kiss at the end, do let me know if theres more word count 0.4k

notes: i just tried the habenaro buldak ramyeon and i thought of this fic. its my first one so i hope its up to standard ! ps i like the habanero better than the original <3

Jeonghan and you were already in bed when your stomach growled for the second time, much louder than the first. “You hungry?” Jeonghan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah… but I’m trying not to think about it,” you replied, sipping water from your Stanley. “What? Why?” he questioned, now sitting up and facing you with concern.

“I’m thinking of going on a diet. I feel like I’ve been snacking too much lately and gaining back the weight I lost from going to the gym,” you explained, avoiding his eyes.

“Babe… you’ve been hitting the gym a lot. It's okay to treat yourself once in a while,” he said, his eyes darting between yours and the Stanley cup in your hands. “I know, but still,” you muttered, still not meeting his gaze.

Jeonghan’s heart ached to see you struggle. He knew how much effort you put into staying fit, but he couldn't let you go to bed hungry. “Tell you what, let’s share a packet of your favorite instant noodles. How about that?”

Your face lit up, but then you slumped back into the bed. “I can’t, Hannie. I’ll feel guilty,” you said, hugging the bottle tighter. “Okay, then think of it as us being guilty together, alright?” He gently lifted your chin to meet his eyes. “Yn, I promised I’d do everything with you. Having a midnight snack is included. Plus, I can’t bear to see you go to bed with your stomach growling.”

After a few moments, you finally nodded. Jeonghan immediately jumped out of bed and rushed to the kitchen, afraid you might change your mind. You followed him and saw he was already boiling water in a pot and pulling out a packet of your favorite habanero and lime buldak ramen.

As Jeonghan brought the ramen over (he insisted you sit on the sofa and enjoy your show while he cooked), you noticed he had added two eggs and sliced beef to the dish. “Hannie…” you said, hugging him tightly. “Thought you might like it more,” he smiled.

“Thank you, Hannie,” you said, giving him a peck on the lips before diving into the feast.

“Hey! I made it for us to share!” he protested as you took a big spoonful. You grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m just really hungry.”

You didn’t notice the way Jeonghan smiled at you, while you were too busy enjoying your midnight snack.

[star-sim]

"nooo! she's taken!" ☆ enha maknaes

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen maknaes x celebrity! fem! reader ☆ summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆ genre: fluff, another poor attempt at humor, it's very silly ☆ warning(s)? none! lmk if you'd like to see this w the hyungs! hyung ver.

sunoo ☆

so youre a famous actress

you have your official instagram account

and then your personal one, that you only allow family and personal friends to follow

sunoo, your bf, also has an account on instagram

since most of you friends and family know him, it's not uncommon for him to take your phone and post on your personal account

one of those "hai guys i stole her phone 🤭"

all in good fun

so one night, you and sunoo and cuddling

it was one of those vibey nights

the lights were dim, candles lighting up the room with their orangey hue, light music playing in the background

laying on you and sunoo's shared bed, his face buried into the crook of his neck while you run your fingers through his hair

its honestly so soft and warm and comfy :]

the two of you aren't really talking to each other, just basking in each other's presence

and eventually you begin to doze off

at first sunoo was like "baaaaabee!! why did you stop touching my hair"

but then he realized you were asleep

so after givng your cheek a soft peck, and tucking you into the soft blankets

sunoo physically goes >:]

he takes your phone and decides that he's going to spam your personal account

because tbh he does this a lot and it's funny for everyone involved

sunoo takes very silly pictures of you and him

pictures of you sleeping, ones at very silly angles (ik he takes the most FOUL 0.5s)

on your story he posts them with also very ridiculous captions

theres one of you sleeping with the caption "mimimumuimuiu"

another fisheye lens one of sunoo with the caption "hai i stole [name]'s phone 😈"

but he also posts some sweet ones

like one where you're dozing off in his arms w the caption "she's so cute"

sunoo gets mushy at some point

like his captions go from funny to "im so happy that i get to call myself [name]'s boyfriend, i feel so lucky to be with such a beautiful and talented woman"

that's great!

really!

that's wonderful!

but.

there's just one problem

one

teeeeeeensy

weeeeeeeeeensy

problem

he was using the wrong account.

he was posting all this on your official, business, 7.8 million follower, instagram account.

and not your personal account.

!!!!!

😱😱😱

he doesn't notice until 20 minutes later his phone blows up with articles and text messages

and when he notices

sunoos like OH SHIT

he shakes you awake

and poor boy is so apologetic :(

"baby i'm so sorry i didn't mean to out our relationship like that i should have been more careful-"

but when he explains it to you

you kinda just laugh

and go back to sleep

HELP

sunoo deletes the stories but people already screenshotted them

yeah... so this blows up

i feel like they would become memes

like the ones of you sleeping become reaction memes or even worse part of those tiktok meme slides LMAOAOAO

a lot of people think it's adorable

and you do too

but sunoo is so embarrassed

poor boy

he was writing out entire think pieces on your instagram story oml

OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TERRIBLE

there's definitely articles that come out about this

and yk how on articles theres a title page with images

one of the images is of you ofc

all these news outlets use your super professional HD MODEL pictures of you

like ones where youre a goddamn SMOKE SHOW, the "who is she?" ones, the ZOOWEE MAMA ones...

and then they use one of the foul images that sunoo takes of himself that are like 3 pixels

like the 0.5 lens ones 😭

nevertheless, there is a happy ending

everyone thinks its so sweet

including you

and when people bring it up on interviews you're able to just laugh about it

<3

jungwon ☆

we joke abt jay and sunghoon and sunoo having mad side eyes

but i think we forget the FATHER of INSANE SIDE EYES

YANG JUNGWON HIMSELF

you're a singer/artist

and you just released a new EP!

on tiktok, you're making promotional videos to promote your new songs

looking like a cutie, popping off, as you always do!

anyways in many of them

you're in front of a glass door

or a mirror

so as youre being an absolute cutie promoting your song, in the background in the reflection you can see jungwon making faces

NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAKING FACES AT YOU

but bc sometimes there's ppl walking by and being judgy

jungwon is giving them mad stink eyes and it's caught in the reflection of your videos

i don't think a lot of ppl notice it until someone points it out

and when they do

theyre like

WHO TF IS THAT 😭

ppl are making tiktoks simply zooming into his face LMAOAOAO

and then a few days later

the paparazzi released pictures of you walking with jungwon, holding hands and on a date

and when ppl see it

theyre like

hmm...

that guy looks a lot like the guy in the reflection...

and then the dots connect

like sunoo, i think jungwon is embarrassed

everytime someone brings it up jungwon hides his face in your neck

and he wears that cute little bashful grin

but honestly it's cute

so just hug him and kiss his lil cheeks and he'll be okay

it kinda becomes viral on tiktok

so you make a few video stitches about it

you stitched the og video that pointed out jungwon's face in the background

your stitch was just a video of jungwon being embarrassed and freaking out

like bro was on the floor, hands in his hair

jungwon was in the trenches sorry 😭

there's another stitch where jungwon explains himself

he's dressed in a suit and tie and speaking so formally like he was making an apology video or something

"i would like to address a recent clip of me making inappropriate facial expressions-"

"babe you don't need to be so formal, it's a tiktok"

"you shant say that, i must do this for this is my will"

BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE ☠️☠️☠️

#freejungwon

riki ☆

youre an actress that's very popular

except some ppl hate you bc they think hating popular people makes them interesting *eye roll*

safe to say.... riki is your NUMBER ONE DEFENDER

like he is the ring leader to all of those [name] stan twt group chats

he's the one leading those discord raids on your hate groups OH MY GOD 😭

he has multiple accounts and he fights every person that dares tarnish your name

twitter is his battlefield and the keyboard is his sword

anyways one day riki is so deep into an internet fight that he GETS DOXXED 😭😭

like it wasn't even graceful

i think he'd make fun of one of your haters

and the hater goes "wanna see something funny? :)"

and BOOM

ADDRESS

IP ADDRESS

FULL NAME

PERSONAL EMAIL

PHONE NUMBER

dont actually dox people guys its not funny

when riki gets doxxed they get his full name right

and the hater, his assailent, and their little posse start searching his name on social media to further dox him

and BOOM #2

THEY FIND HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT

now riki isn't stupid

so his ig acc is private

however.....

the profile picture of his acc is a selfie of you and him kissing

they also did research on him and found out that you and him went to the same high school...

in fact they found miscellaneous pictures posted online of you and him a few years back... holding hands n shit....

OH

SHIT

this goes viral over night

like

its so bad that even news headlines are covering it

"TWITTER USER @[NAME]LUVER1209, HOT ACTRESS [NAME]'S MOST NOTORIOUS INTERNET DEFENDER, IS REVEALED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND 😱😱😱"

i feel like the public's reaction to this would be really light-hearted

like i think mst ppl would be cheering riki on

"he's so real"

"oh my god i think i was mutuals with @[name]luver1209"

"this is what true love looks like"

you have super loyal fans and riki's mutuals so they support you too

except i do think theyd be in shambles, but in good fun

"i just found out [name] has a bf im going to flush myself down a toilet"

"i can't believe she chose @[name]luver1209 when his fancams are so shit... THAT SHOULD BE ME!!!'

"i've been here waiting in line for three years and this random @[name]luver1209 swoops in and takes my woman..."

riki's stan account gains a lot of followers

and so with your permission

he posts a selfie of you and him

probably with a cheeky caption like "KISS MY ASS!!!!"

i feel like people go back and watch old talk show interviews and stuff

and if you zoom in

you'll see riki in the front rows cheering the loudest 😭

bro is everywhere

in the future there's def a moment where like

you're at a live talk show

and the host asks you about the fiasco

and you can literally just point to him in the audience like

"yeah my boyfriend's right there-- hi baby!"

and riki from the audience, behind his phone that he's using to record you like its a fancam, is like "hi baby!" back

i dont think the media even calls him riki, he's stuck as @[name]luver1209 forever

not that he minds

😭😭😭

hyung ver.

[kroosluvr]

aftermath

ERMMM this takes place after long winter au third semester.... it could honestly vary but i think sometime btwn 5-10 yrs. sumire is abroad, akira moved back to tokyo after finishing hs/college, goro is. around

SORRY ITS 5am again so ill make this quick . again

QUICK DISCLAIMER this is kinda like a lot of me projecting LMFAOSDOGKJSDHFK@#)40 so like dont read into this tooooo much bc idk royaltrio cld be insnanely ooc here but. YEA.

started thinking abt akira constantly calling up goro and sumire even after 1) goro dies (so they think) and 2) sumire distances herself post-third sem. i elaborate on this on my shusumi fic........ sorry subtle shilling

^ tldr i think these 3 kinda drift apart after the snowglobe world crumbles, that false reality that ironically brought them so close together..... back in reality, things feel Different (but this is Our reality right? why does it feel so strange now?) and so. well its just not the same, no amtter what

the. the “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there” tumblr post

even though they loved each other and knew it too, there was also some sort of looming feeling that it won't last - but it does, still. it exists, in some meaningful sense-

akira sees and thinks about sumire and goro in everything he does, his day to day life, worries about them, wants to tell them about all he's doing, wants to hear about what they're up to. so he does so by leaving voicemails (although in this case sumire changed her number LMFAO. he does it anyway)

in the same vein, sumire thinks about all the things she'd like to tell goro, but with no address to send it to, it's useless. but she writes them anyway - more and more as a solace to herself, conversing with the memory of goro in her head, making him live on in that sense. and with akira i think it's a little more subtle. here she's trying to find a coffee shop that measures up to lebalnc, and of course she doesn't. there's only one leblanc and only one akira. but yeah like in sumire's case she kinda goes these "roundabout" ways in her Missing Them. theres also the added thing of her wanting to be more independent (from goro and akira and kasumi and tokyo and etc etc etc. also elaborated on in said fic)

goro! i think there's smth so poignant about visiting your own grave (i wrote sumire doing htis in another fic. thats an aside) hair cut, mask on, no gloves, he's a different sort of goro akechi but not really in any meaningful sense either. he's just different. sumire leaves the scarf (i think w sumire, she learns from goro like. omg im blanking on the word. LIKE reliability..? thinking realistically? smth like that.) so shes subconsciously thinks oh ill get him something useful like a scarf to keep warm (and a lil more subtle on the love aspect). akira gets him a lovely bouquet, straightforward and honest w his love/adoration, never afraid to spell it out. smth abt goro needing to live a new life now but also he keeps looking back - but this time, there's love when he looks back. there's still love

a kind of "youll always have home with me" sentiment btwn these 3. even if we never return there, youll still have a place in my heart

like "i dont think ill ever have that kind of love again. but i had it once. and even if i couldnt keep it, its still important." THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN

anyway tldr theres just some sentiment w royaltrio w Wanting to move on but also holding onto your past, and learning how to reconcile with the horrible parts but also the tender and lovely parts. sometimes there's stuff you gotta leave behind and grow past, grow around, even if it's good. even if it's good, you still have to push forward. <- a lesson that i'm trying to teach myself currently so thats why this is very. projecting. LMFAODSJKHJKSDKW sorry im crnge goodnight

these notes are horrible dont read these.

[reidmania]

sharpest tool | s.reid

(chapter three, full machine)

‘I'm a forest fire, you're the kerosene. I had a life here before you, but now it's burnin'. I know I know better and you're ignorin' me, still, if you asked me to run away, i'd go easily’

summary; you know you have a bad history with relationships, so to try not to get in your own head when you stop hearing from spencer.

warnings; fem reader, mentions of bad relationships, ghosting, commitment issues, self doubt & overthinking, preettyy angsty idk guys, no comfort yet but there is some fluff, and theres penelope & reader friendship!! reader lowkey shit talks spencer but he deserves it. reader is embarrassed & upset.

taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules

2.1k words.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since you had last seen Spencer. You understood the demands of his job, that it kept him busy and a lot of the time you were fine with that — you enjoyed your space and your own personal time. You had never had an issue with him being gone on cases before but he would always text you or call you when he got the chance.

And never had he been on a case for two weeks. Not that you knew of anyways.

It was difficult not to jump to conclusions and ruin the idea of him you had. It was difficult not to shut down. It was difficult to not think ‘how could you be so stupid’ and you were trying really really hard to not repeat past mistakes and project past relationships onto this one.

But it wasn’t even a relationship.

It wasn’t like he had talked to you at all. The first two days after he left for his case he had sent you numerous texts, telling you how sorry he was for having to leave early, he called you on the first night and stayed on the phone until you had fallen asleep. Everything was normal. There was nothing that set off any warning bells in your head.

That made you feel even worse.

You hadn’t spammed him with texts, nor calls. You hadn’t messaged him since the last text you sent was left on delivered. You wouldn’t beg for him to reply to you, you wouldn’t beg for an explanation on what you might’ve done wrong. You’d rather live with the lack of closure than further damage to your pride.

But then there was a part of you that wondered if maybe something happened to him, a big part of you worried that something happened to him — actually. You tried to ignore the lingering dwindle of anxiety in your stomach as you carried on with your day to day life. You tried so hard to ignore it.

But two weeks was a long time to ignore an aching gut feeling, one that kept you up at night and never seemed to go away.

Could you have called Spencer? Yes. You could’ve. But did you want to risk the call being ignored and every lingering doubt in your mind being proven correct and then be embarrassed about it? God no.

You were a shame spiral when you instead texted Penelope, who had given you her number when she saw you and Spencer at the grocery store, the last time you had seen him. She begged you to reach out when she got back so you two could arrange to hang out.

You weren’t even sure if they were back. Normally you would know that by Spencer coming over to your house at some ridiculous time and delving into your arms like it was the only place he had ever been able to call home, but he didn’t come over this time.

It was a simple text, ‘Hey Penelope, how are you? I haven’t heard from Spencer in a while so i just wanted to make sure he was okay’

It was good enough. You didn’t want to explain how you just wanted to make sure he was alive so you didn’t feel guilty for hating him. You didn’t exactly want to hate somebody who was dead. Yet a twisted part of you hoped that something had happened to him, because at least then he wasn’t just ignoring you.

What you weren’t expecting was your phone to light up with an incoming call from the one and only Penelope Garcia. You answered it, partly scared that she was calling because texting you to tell you that Spencer was dead seemed insensitive.

“Hello?” You answered. The place in your bed warm from the weight of your body as you shuffled slightly. It wasn’t exactly late, but it was past evening times. You heard mumbling and shuffling on the other side of the phone, before a happy voice.

“Hello my sweet angel!” Penelope greeted you, even in your doubtful mood the warm greeting from the sweet women made a smile line your lips. “I got your message — I’m a little confused. He is fine, he just left work” She answered.

Okay. Not dead.

“Oh” It passed through your lips because now you were just overwhelming confused. “Uh- How long have you guys been back?” You asked, almost afraid of the answer you would receive. You were hoping she would tell you they had only just gotten back, and that the case had been so busy that nobody had time to text anybody.

“A little over a week.” She answered. That made your chest tighten, a lot. Almost painfully. You didn’t want to cry, you didn’t want to give the situation the satisfaction of your tears. You didn’t want to give Spencer any more power over you.

“Right. Okay. Thanks.” It came out shakier than you intended it to be and a wave of embarrassment washed over you. You took pride in your ability to not care about things like this, you didn’t get emotionally involved because of this reason. Your mind was overwhelmed with an abundance of doubts and self depreciation. Embarrassment. You were so embarrassedz

“Did Spencer not tell you? He has been stroppy all week. We thought maybe he had messed up and you were mad at him.” The words came out as a playful joke, but you found it humourless. Because although you weren’t mad at him, you were now.

You wondered if you even had a right to be mad. Clearly he wasn’t dead, so he was just ignoring you. You hated how much that thought made your heart hurt an overwhelming amount. You hated how you had now let someone in enough for their absence to have an effect on you.

“He.. No. He hasn’t told me” You mumbled out, your voice representing how distant your mind was from this conversation. A million different thoughts and each one as bad as the last. You didn’t want to tell his co-worker and one of his friends that he had just up and ghosted you, you didn’t think it was fair, but you could basically hear the confusion and concern lacing her voice. “He hasn’t talked to me at all in over a week..”

“What?” Her response came out hard and fast, tone laced with clear shock and confusion. “Thats- I mean it was a rough case but.. not.. that rough — Maybe he is just overwhelmed? Have you tried calling him? He can get distracted easily.” She rambled, trying just as hard as you were to find a valid explanation for his sudden disappearance.

But you both knew Spencer. Or you thought you did. You knew enough to know about his memory. He didn’t just forget. Or maybe he did. Were you forgettable for him? Were you something so minority important that it slipped through the tight grasp of his memory. Oh that wasn’t a fun thought.

“No- uhm.. I’m not going to call him.. If he wants to talk to me he would.” You muttered. You wanted to believe that, you wanted to not care as much as you were making it out to seem you didn’t. You wanted to feel casually about it. About him.

You really regretted kissing him two months ago.

You wished you could be the type of person who believed that was no point dwelling, the type of person who would be grateful it happened rather than sad it was over — but you just weren’t. You didn’t think you were capable of getting over someone unless you hated them with every fibre of your being. Unless they hurt you to the point of no forgiveness. You couldn’t be glad it happened — not when it ended like this.

It always ended like this, you knew that from the start.

“Im so sorry. I have no idea whats going on with him!” She apologised in his behalf and it was almost funny to you. How come a girl you met once seemed to have more remorse than the guy you had (stupidly) falling in love with.

You shook your head, but she couldn’t see you. “Don’t apologise. Its fine. Its not a big deal really. We weren’t much of anything anyways.” Maybe the words came out fast enough for you to believe them, maybe they were to try and convince yourself that it was true — that it was how you felt.

It seemed it was how he felt.

“Oh sweetheart” Penelope synthesised. “How about this — We can have a massive movie night at mine sometime over the weekend and if you haven’t heard from him by then, then we can talk about how bad his eyesight is and the amount of sugar he puts in his coffee” She mumbled.

You let out a laugh, you wished that his bad eyesight and way too much sugar was the worst you could say about him right now. Your opinions on the boy seemed a lot stronger. Although it made your heart ache that it was his friend apologising and making you feel better.

“I’d like that.” You said, pulling your knees closer to your chest as your curled in on yourself in your bed. You hated how cold and empty it felt without his presence by your side. Even with the same glow of your fairy lights, the room was lit with the same warmth when it was just you.

You were mad. If you could only use one emotion to describe how you felt it would be mad. Embarrassment, disappointment, hurt — they’d all be thrown out the window. You were just so mad.

At him, for making you believe that maybe things would be different, for letting you get close to him, allowing you to trust him, open up to him. You were mad at him for giving and taking like it was some sort of game. You were mad at his lack of communication. You were mad at how he once looked at you like you held so much value only to leave as if you were worthless.

But you were more mad at yourself. You had made it a rule not to date. You had a life, a good happy life before. You busied yourself with work and going to the library to read and get a moment of peace beneath the shelves of books, you enjoyed getting your coffee’s from the small cafe on the corner in the morning, and dancing with your small group of friends at the club on the weekends, and then Spencer came along and now all those things you enjoyed so much seemed dimmer without knowing you’d see him at the end of the day.

You were frustrated because you knew better than to let someone get close to you. You knew how codependent you became on the existence of another by your side. You knew this. You knew all of this. You knew you were cursed, unloveable if you really wanted to hurt your own feelings. You knew this.

Yet you let yourself get sucked into his sweet words and empty promises, his soft touch and warm embrace. You let yourself believe that things might be different this time.

And god were you mad about that.

But most of all, you were mad about the fact that despite all of this. All of the doubt and anger swirling through your veins and leaving every harsh breath that existed your lips, you didn’t hate him. You were mad at him — so mad, but there wasn’t a single part of you that would ever say you hated Spencer Reid.

Not optionally. If it was up to you, you would go back in time and you wouldn’t have let him get close enough for the line to be between love and hate.

You worried, still. About if he was okay, what he was doing. You hated that. You hated that he had made you soft.

You hated that you let him make you soft.

You hated that you still wanted him to reach out to you, apologise and say he had just been so busy, or say he just needed time after the case. You hated that if he showed up on your door step right now you’d probably let him in without a word — whereas if this was prior to six months ago you would’ve slammed the door in his face and told him to get fucked.

Love didn’t come easy for you. But loving Spencer was the easiest thing you have ever done. Hating him was near impossible.

[aurumalatus]

AUGHHH theres so many to pick from… i think ill have to request kinich + 3 please 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ !!

for what it's worth, mualani seems truly apologetic. kinich wasn't sure what to expect when he received the call in the middle of the night—as far as he knew, you and the others were having some "girl's night" that he pointedly was not invited to.

not that he cares. he has better things to do anyway.

he's halfway through a game of valorant when the phone rings, and mualani's voice is high with barely concealed panic. you're drunk, she explains. like, really drunk.

kinich sighs, shutting down his computer before grabbing his keys and his jacket and heading out the door.

okay, fine—maybe he doesn't really have better things to do.

when he pulls up, xilonen and chasca are struggling to get you out the front door, trying to hide their own giggles. when mualani said you were drunk, she wasn't kidding—you're completely out of it.

"i got it," kinich says as he approaches, taking your arm and slinging it over his shoulder. you lean into him immediately, lips brushing against his neck—his face grows warm.

xilonen and chasca give each other knowing stares, but seem to avoid saying more.

"sorry about that," they say, sheepish, "we didn't know she couldn't hold it that well."

kinich understands; you do have a tendency to think that you can drink a lot more than you can. he won't hold it against them at all.

he bids them a short goodbye as he drags you down the sidewalk, plopping you into the passenger seat and leaning over to buckle your seatbelt.

"kinich..." you whine, grabbing needily at his neck to pull him into a hug. he's unstable at the angle he's standing, and it leads him to collapse into your lap with a short 'oof'.

the sound of your laugh only makes his blush grow.

"we have to get you home," he says, steeling himself. he finally successfully gets your seatbelt on and starts the car, driving back toward your apartment.

it's even more struggle to get you inside—he gets some weird looks from passerby, to which he sighs and shows them your phone wallpaper and his: pictures of the two of you hanging out together, with friends or otherwise. they seem to accept that easily enough.

you're still whining his name by the time he deposits you in your bed, pulling your blankets up to your chin.

"sleep on your side," he instructs, placing a bottle of water and some painkillers at your bedside. "i don't want you to choke."

you, meanwhile, seem happy as a clam, smiling and laughing and wiggling under the sheets.

"okay," you mumble, voice muffled.

kinich nods, satisfied with that, and turns to leave before you pipe up again.

"kinich?" you yawn, eyes closed. you look peaceful, he thinks.

"yes?"

"are we just friends?"

his heart lurches in his chest, anxiety pooling in his stomach. don't ask that. i don't know if i can be honest.

but you're already asleep, and there's no way you'll hear his answer anyway, so kinich murmurs—

"we are. but i wish we were more."