#he has to unlearn a lot of things but the main one is recognizing that he was being forced into a role *by his parents*. not the gods.

[sleepygaymerdisease]

something ive noticed a lot in fantasy media is that the religions are either obviously evil/hyperbolized/meant to be mocked/etc or the gods are like Actually Real. which is honestly odd to me. especially the second one. like idk, as interesting as the concept can be i dont think that any religious figure needs to prove their existence (or that their existence has to be proven false) for the audience to take their impact on the characters or society seriously. like idk the way that religion is written to have a "correct" answer is really telling i guess

[gwenkress]

Novel 002: Shroud of Dawn

A bounty hunter chasing down his own murderer teams up with a scholarly, buglike alien who’s trying to find his way home. Peppered with questions he doesn’t want to answer, the bounty hunter finds himself at the crux of a mystery that concerns his entire species. 🤠❤️🪲

Death! Rebirth! Revenge! Queer romance! Unlearning the internal toxicity of common cowboy stereotypes! This book is DONE (ish) and out querying agents right now! DM me if you're interested in beta reading. :)

Pinterest board (contains spoilers!)

Writing aesthetic Spotify playlist (the instrumental music I had on while I was writing)

Major characters under the cut! :)

Meet the blorbos from Shroud of Dawn!

Glicht Aarvam

"Sure, I recognize that whatever on Khala’s shell Dawn actually is, it saved my life. More than that, it brought me back from the dead. But that don’t mean I’m obligated to enjoy what it’s done to me, and by sight it don’t mean I’m obligated to think highly of it. The thing is more stupid than it is smart, and its sparing my life more than anything foretells that.”

A bounty hunter by trade, Glicht has led a long life of emotional ups and downs, getting better at his profession with every bullet dodged. Recently, he's fallen into an apathetic rut that he can't name the source of; so when he discovers within himself a deep hatred for murderer and gang leader Tek Slonden, he leaps on the feeling and devotes his life to hunting Slonden down.

When that devotion results in the deaths of hundreds, however, Glicht needs to face what he's become. But Slonden is still out there, so that will have to wait; in the meantime, he'll just lie to himself until his gun hand stops shaking.

Spotify playlist (contains spoilers!)

Lohak

“Oh, no, it’s very straightforward for me. There’s simply nothing I could have been other than a scholar. Nothing. I’m always asking questions—my mother likes to say that my first word was a question. I grew up reading books and getting thrown out of classrooms for challenging the teacher. Of course I would latch onto the world’s biggest mystery, wouldn’t I? Where else would I be?”

A member of the zhel species, which is the dominant species on the planet Khala where our story takes place, Lohak has a leaf-green carapace, four arms, and an unmatched zest for knowledge. So, as soon as he found out that no one really knew where humans came from five hundred years ago, he dove straight into the deep end of the mystery and started digging.

When hundreds of people are killed in a disaster during his excavation, Lohak gets separated from the rest of his team and winds up tagging along with a human bounty hunter for safety. His new partner is terse, interesting, and alluringly actionable rather than calculative, and it isn't long before Lohak falls completely in love.

There are a lot of things he doesn't know about Glicht, however; and despite considering himself clearheaded and logical, Lohak is determined to believe that his team all made it home safely. All he needs to do is catch up with them.

Spotify playlist (contains spoilers! though not as bad as the others)

Dawn

"I do not want. My purpose is to keep [humans] healthy. You were the first to come within my sight since I lost memory."

Dawn is a 'doctor machine' buried beneath the place where Lohak's team was digging. When Glicht gets himself killed along with hundreds, he happens to cross paths with it, which enables it to resuscitate him.

Although it has lost contact with its main store of memories, Dawn is clearly a link between the present and the ancient past--the target of Lohak's research. And, now that Glicht is dependent on Dawn for survival, so is he.

Spotify playlist (MAJOR spoilers)

[suffarustuffaru]

✨

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

AA this is the last fic writer ask question fr :o again it took me a while to get to all of them pfft but i appreciate them a lot!! this question especially is really sweet wkdndn but yes!! and hope anyone reading my answers to these questions found it interesting at least pfft

hmm…. compliment….. im a MAJOR stickler for detail :O i literally cant turn my brain off i have to get EVERY detail i can right whenever possible wjdnd. not that im always right bc im very much not but i try very hard to be!! and i absolutely adore trying to put a lot of detail and nuance into things in my work esp since i focus on characters mental thought process so much hah. i try very hard to do a lot (or at least i consider it a lot widjdj) of research :o for example i wanted to write astrea fic so i devoured every heinkel and reinhard related side story possible and now they give me intense brainrot. cries. since i write a lot of character study i HAVE to look at everything possible before i finish a fic or ill cry inside if i miss one (1) detail i couldve taken into account hah. so i do think im a hard working writer :o !! analyzing things for fun especially when i admire a work of fiction runs in my blood wjdnd it just Happens. i try my best!!

as for um. that one crack treated seriously gluttony if fic i did once (selfcest…). is it accurate to who gluttonybaru is as a character? no in the sense that hes written purposefully in that fic to be like. pushed to his Most Extreme. but also i did try to at least be kind of accurate bc. i combed through SO MUCH of arc 6 and the gluttony if to write him fr 😭😭 there was TOO MUCH analysis in that fic thats why its got a novel length wordcount HAH. hes always had a hate love relationship with “natsuki subaru”….

uhhh uhhh oh yeah something else vaguely related to this that just came to mind—for example my multichap pride otto fic has me like really wracking my brain bc pride otto has screentime for exactly 0.2 seconds (im totally good at math) so its like. i wanted to like analyze how he most likely thinks and what sort of behaviors he has and how hed even react in All the new shenanigans im putting him in. but im also working off of 0.2 seconds of screentime so i had to also go and look at how main otto thinks and try to make Many Educated Guesses on how otto goes from point a (main otto pre-meeting subaru) to point b (the otto we see in pride if). which is something i do every time i focus on an if character in general anyway HAH bc i think it gets easier to understand if versions of characters, no matter how different they seem from their main route selves, once you examine who their base character is and THEN you look at the if events and how its warped them away from their base character. if that makes sense. i think its really fun hah.

i also recognize though that it wouldve been maybe Easier to make pride otto in my fic a little more. dead inside. empty. bc i know that ive been writing a lot of his anger and irritation hah. and it wouldve made sense for him to be a little more tired kind of dead inside in his internal dialogue!!! but i figured that i might as well go a little differently with it to yes maybe subvert expectations a little bit (and bc. ok after arc 8 Confirming Many Things About Otto, no way pride otto wasnt angry at some point. fr.) but also bc. you know when a person whos been in a traumatic situation they couldnt escape for so long is forced to change themselves to survive? if that person manages to finally escape its like. now they gotta try and unlearn any trauma related lessons theyve learned now that the danger is over bc what helped them survive is now maladaptive bc the danger is Over. thats kind of how i approached the fic fr T^T but also i try so hard to write pride otto as the jaded ass he definitely is. theres so much jades in him for sure. (this sentence totally makes sense.)

oh!!! uh uh one small detail with pride otto—when characters have titles, he will almost Always call them by their title in both internal and external dialogue. reinhard is sword saint and julius is the greatest/finest knight and felix is blue, etc etc. otto is well. 1. emotionally constipated 2. distant from others 3. Going Out of His Way to distance himself from others 4. hes very fixated on power and hierarchy and 5. he is Very aware of the role hes played in crushing each knight in the knight trio. main otto Absolutely feels guilt even as hes being ruthless. i figured pride otto likely at least Used to feel guilty. if hes not still guilty deep down.

[sepublic]

Hunter: The Main Character who’s a Side Character

I’ve said it before with Any Sport in a Storm, but it really is so fascinating how a lot of previous development in Seasons 1 and 2 culminate in our protagonists imparting similar lessons to Hunter, and/or being in the same state of mind to receive that mutual growth with him.

It’s just... How they actually build off of past development and arcs so they matter as does their sequence and it adds up; With the payoff for all this careful setup being that it acts as a launching pad for characters to not just take their growth to the next level, but to pass that wisdom to Hunter as well. And that allows Hunter to grow faster than he might normally have; It reminds me a lot of how Eda learned a lot of lessons as a kid firsthand and passed them onto Luz, even as she learned and reiterated a couple things of her own...

And now we get to see Luz and her friends to the same, as the payoff and reward to their own journeys established in Season 1, that we actually worked on and reap the benefits of, while continuing to still build on that for the sake of said protagonists and not just Hunter. Because as Luz helps Eda too, Hunter does the same. And it really does feel like fate (it kinda is from a meta writing perspective) that Hunter meets these people one by one, and they all contribute their own past growth via a contained lesson, and all of their collaborative development combines to uplift Hunter and help him.

Because helping people with what you went through, so it’s easier for them, is SUCH a recurring theme in this show that you could make a drinking game out of it. It all comes into place and they’re not just building stuff for themselves but for Hunter, and it feels so sweet how everyone has lowkey adopted this kid into their found family mutually. Everyone is playing their part because it takes a village to raise a child.

It’s just so compelling and clever and efficient of the writers to take advantage of episodes they established, the work of those who came before makes things easier for those who come next, as it should be; And Hunter feels like... A sort of marker of our protagonists’ progress, part of his purpose is to reflect their own growth back at them, and now he’s narratively checking up on each of them, one by one, to celebrate and summarize what each protagonist has gone through. He’s like a vessel for the audience to do a character arc roll call with and I love it.

And what goes around comes around, because they not only pave the way for Hunter’s redemption, as the most indoctrinated protagonist who has the most to unlearn and thus learn; But we see how Hunter pays them back and makes them realize thing about themselves, in their recognition of the self in him, like a mirror. Hunter is a mirror not just to but for the protagonists, so Luz gains some contemplation about her future; Amity understands what unconditional love is; Willow has someone who gets to know her for who she is; And Gus learns to trust and believe in himself again.

Hunter is just... An almost chameleon character, multi-purpose with so many parallels, like a changeling. And he’s a wonderful narrative tool for our protagonists and a compelling character that we and the characters see themselves in, so there’s just that fun dynamic for them to bounce off of. I really do think Hunter helps enrich our protagonists and give appreciation to their past growth; He’s like a culmination of our beloved cast in a sense, a representative/champion on their behalf. I can see why Dana loves this dude...

In any other story Hunter would be the main character, which I think is meta and sonder; Having our POV be Luz, who wanted to be a main character but recognizes that so does everyone else, everyone is just as real with just as meaningful lives and backgrounds and perspectives as her. And it’s then interesting to explore the type of accumulative character that the main protagonist usually is, since usually it’s them finding others who are a reflection of them, rather than this subversion of the other way around; Our protagonists finding Hunter one at a time.

Hunter is almost like that kind of protagonist who serves as a consistent commentator, a fellow observer with the audience to the REAL protagonists’ stories per episode as we travel around, an episodic, anthological type of story almost. But again, he’s from a different perspective, which adds to the unique subversion and twist; As does Hunter’s deconstruction as a chosen one, his supposed destiny just a scam to keep him in line, just like Adegast’s scam for Luz. I did compare him to ‘Nevareth Bladestrife’, who complains about not being chosen as the hero despite being main character-bait...

Hunter really does feel like that type of central main character where everyone else reflects a different facet of him and exists to get his development and lesson of the day going, but... In the role of a side-character and seen as such from the POV of our ‘side characters’ who would in another story exist just for Hunter’s sake. He didn’t even properly debut until Season 2! And I feel Hunter ultimately uplifted these characters for me, and gave them an additional compelling dynamic to work with and explore themselves with. It’s all so weird and meta and subversive and strange and I just... IT’S SO FASCINATING Y’ALL!!!

[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!

[anjuschiffer]

Amira Wayne - Chapter 2

Day 2 of Bio!Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020! Woo! And, follow @biodad-bruce-month for more content!

Note: The AO3 Link to this fic will be on the first chapter only.

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Chapter 2: Father-Daughter Bonding

P.Tag: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan

Tag: @vixen-uchiha @we-want-mini-mini @ramos123

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MASTERLIST | Prev

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Bruce looked at Amira, stumped by her wailing.

At first he thought it was because she already missed Talia, but it’s been a solid three hours since then and she never cried between that time until now. It wasn’t until he had placed her on his bed that she started to become fussy, her small hands waving all over the place.

Perhaps she adored being held?

“Master Bruce - good heavens! What is that- is that a child you have there Master Bruce?” Alfred asked as he stepped into Bruce’s bedroom with a tray of tea, appalled by the odor in the room.

“Meet Amira...my daughter.” Bruce introduced, watching as Alfred set down the tray, slowly approaching the wailing girl.

“Pardon me Master Bruce, but when was the last time you changed the young miss?”

“Changed?” Bruce asked, glancing at Alfred and then at Amira. “As in, clothes?”

“I meant her diaper.” Alfred clarified, picking up Amira and bouncing her in his arms, Bruce not liking how easily Amira stopped crying. “I will bathe the young miss while you start heading to the nearest baby store. Here’s a list of things I need you to buy.”

Alfred quickly took out his notepad and scribbled away, tearing off two sheets worth of writing and handing it to Bruce. “Hurry now. We don’t have all evening.”

And so Bruce was pushed out of his room, sent on a mission to buy... baby things…

-

“Do you need help si- Mister Wayne! Oh! I-um...how can I help you?” The store worker asked him, averting her gaze.

What was the richest person in Gotham doing in a department store like the one she worked in?!

Bruce looked at her name tag. Elizabeth. He’ll make sure to pay her for his troubles.

“Hi, I’m looking for all of these items, but I’ve searched throughout this store and can’t seem to find them.” Bruce said, handing Elizabeth the list Alfred had given him. He watched as the young girl’s eyes widened before looking at Bruce and back at the list.

“You can find all of these on our third floor, in the baby department.” Elizabeth provided, stifling a laugh when Bruce looked at her confused. 

There was a third floor? “Would you like it for someone to-”

“Please.” Bruce practically begged, Elizabeth nodding. Bruce watched as she ran to a fellow coworker, gestured at him before running back to him. Bruce noticed the way the other coworker paled when she saw him.

“Well Mister Wayne, my name is Elizabeth and I’ll be glad to be of service.”

“Thank you so much.”

-

Bruce spent the next three hours being led by Elizabeth around the baby section, only then noticing that he really wasn’t up to the task. 

When Elizabeth talked about Amira’s age, Bruce didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how old she was, what she was able to do or even eat. Vaccines? Apparently, babies needed that too. 

“I also suggest talking to your daughter frequently.” Elizabeth states, picking up another adorable outfit for Amira. You can never go wrong with dresses. “Talking to her would help enhance her speech, especially if she’s not babbling. Babbling should be common for her if she’s around six months old.”

“How do you know so much?” Bruce decided to ask, looking at the cart that was almost filled to the brim with supplies and clothes. There were bottles, sippy cups, plastic bowls, bibs, a few interactive toys, a white crib and a stroller. Oh...and diapers...lots of them.

“Well, I want to become a pediatrician, so I often find myself reading about child development and such during my time off.” Elizabeth told him with a soft smile. “And then there’s the fact that I practically raised my two younger siblings since they were newborns. I often helped my mother take care of them, absorbing all the new knowledge like a sponge. 

While it sounds like she dumped a bit of the responsibility on me, I know my mother meant well. A slice of what it meant to be a mother, to be responsible for another life.”

Bruce hummed at her answer, picking up a white pajama on the rack, wondering if Amira would even like it. Does she even know what a bee was? Did she even know what was going on? Did he even know what was going on? What his life was for him now?

“I wonder if I’m up to the task.” Bruce muttered to himself, but Elizabeth heard it loud and clear.

“No one is born knowing what they’re expected to do and be ready for.” Elizabeth said, picking up another outfit. “Sometimes, we just have to go with the flow and see where we land.”

Bruce repeated those words mentally, picking up another pajama, a yellow this time, it had a sheep on it.

Go with the flow, huh?

-

After spending hours in the baby area, Bruce was ready to go home, mentally relaying the notes Elizabeth had given him. 

He started laying out the plans he had in mind for Amira’s nursery, deciding on using the room next to his. While the only way to enter it was through the main door, he could always make another door that connected the nursery and his room for easier access.

After unloading everything from the car to inside the manor, Bruce decided to bring some fresh clothing to the last place he saw Alfred and Amira, panic setting into him when he heard wailing coming from the room.

Bruce pushed the door open, seeing Alfred with Amira in his arms, the girl reaching for something that wasn’t there.”

“Welcome back Master Bruce.” Alfred wearily said, the two noticing that Amira quickly looked over to Bruce, her small hands no longer searching for him. Her wails became hiccups as she continued to stare at Bruce. “Look, Amira. It’s your father. I told you he would be back.”

As soon as Alfred said those words, Amira began to cry again, Bruce quickly taking her from Alfred and began to walk her around the room. He then remembered that Elizabeth had told him.

He should talk to her.

“Amira. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Bruce listened as her wails grew softer. “I went to buy some things, but now I’m back.”

Bruce listened as Amira softly stopped crying, now tiny hiccups escaping her. “There, there.”

“I’ve seen you’re starting to step up to the task, Master Bruce.”

“Someone has to look after her. Who better than us, her family?” Bruce asked, then realizing that Amira had yet to be clothed. 

Bruce wandered to the bags, quickly taking out the mountain of clothing. 

He quickly sets Amira down on the bed so that he can organize the clothing. In doing so, he missed how Amira sat up. He only noticed it when she had crawled to sit in front of him. 

She can sit. And crawl. 

“If she can sit by herself and is starting to crawl, she may already be six months old.”

Bruce watched as Amira took a liking to the two clothing articles in front of her. Or rather, the two pajamas. More specially the white and yellow pajamas that Bruce had picked out - the sheep and the bee respectfully.

He watched in wonder as Amira stared at them, looking between the two for a while before patting the yellow onesie with the sheep on it. 

“Sheep it is then.” Bruce said, unbuttoning the pajama. How did he forget the onesie that goes underneath?

He quickly clothed Amira, clasping the last button to find Amira looking at him with her wide green eyes. 

“You are a natural.” Alfred decided to speak up, watching as Bruce picked up Amira with confidence. 

“Or perhaps I’m willing to learn.” Bruce stated, watching as Amira yawned, watching her start to doze off. “One day at a time.”

-

The two men luckily found out that Amira was seven months old, thanks to the birth certificate and other documents Talia had left in the baby carrier. It made certain legal procedures go more smoothly, while for others, it took some time.

As days went by, Bruce and Alfred started to notice that Amira was smarter than what she let on. 

She knew to not place anything in her mouth that wasn’t food, something that both Bruce and Alfred appreciated. Bruce quickly found out that she liked to observe items, Amira often gazing at a toy for minutes, listening to a rattle make the faintest sound as she passed it from one chubby hand to the other.

She would recognize the places she was in, lay down when she was in the crib and remain seated while she was on the couch or in a chair. Alfred found out that she adored watching him cook, her eyes following every movement he made as he prepared dinner as she sat in her highchair. 

Alfred also found out that she was very fond of strawberries and apples, Alfred melting when Amira would grace him with the largest smile possible when she would realize that Alfred had made her favorite purees. 

She would smile and frown but would never make a sound that wasn’t a cry. Even when Bruce noticed that she wanted to let out a cry, she never whimpered or sniffled. It was as if she was suppressing those emotions. Luckily, after paying Dr.Leslie Thompkins a visit, Bruce learned that it was just a habit she must have learned while she was with Talia. Thompkins assured Bruce that by talking with Amira more, it would help her unlearn that habit. Surely enough, the doc was right.

Amira soon grunted, babbled and rambled more frequently and at random points in the day. Babbling not only helped her get Bruce’s attention, but also made him smile more. Amira soon learned that ‘Dada’ made him smile even more, especially when he would not be home for longer periods of time. As much as she adored Alfred, no one beats Dada.

Now having a system of communication, Bruce would often coax Amira to come towards him, Amira standing just three steps away from him.

He would watch as she would proudly stand by herself before taking a single wobbly step towards him. Another two steps followed slowly after, Amira bursting into a giggling fit when she reached Bruce. 

Those tiny steps soon turned into hops, strides and jumps, Bruce not believing how quickly time had passed. 

He watched her grow before his eyes, feeling a smile grow on his face as he kept listening to Amira read to him. 

“-ate through one nice green leaf, and after that he felt much better.” Amira said, turning the page. “Now he wasn’t hungry anymore and- is there something wrong Dad?” Amira asked, Bruce wondering what she meant. “You’re crying.”

“Am I know?” Bruce asked, raising his hand to his eyes, wiping away what was a tear. Seems like he was. “It’s nothing. Probably some dust got into my eye.”

“Are you sure you shouldn’t be patrolling tonight?” Amira asked, showing Bruce himself in the form of a Batman plushie.

It’s been two years since Bruce became Batman, all thanks to a single incident that almost cost him his life. He almost left Amira in the same situation as him when he was ten...

He needed to make Gotham a safer place for his daughter, what better way than striking fear into criminals?

Some people of the general public are glad to have him, despite it being a mere eight percent. Everyone else fears him, except Gotham’s villains...and his own daughter. It didn’t take long for her to find out he was Batman. Then again, it’s not like Bruce was trying to keep it a secret from her.

As for the Batman plushie, it was a gift from Alfred to Amira, something about having Bruce always with her.

Bruce smiled at the plushie, getting up from the bed and tucking Amira in.

“As much as Gotham needs Batman, you also need me to tuck you into bed.”

“Dad, I’m seven. I can do it myself.” 

“Does that mean you don’t want me to tuck you in anymore?” He watched as Amira pursed her lips before sinking into the comforter some more.

“I still like being tucked into bed.” Amira muttered, gaining a chuckle from Bruce. “Are we still going to the circus tomorrow?” Amira asked, springing up, watching her father’s face for some type of confirmation.

“Amira,” Bruce said with a frown, tucking one of her hair strands behind her ear. “Remember what we talked about?”

Amira hung her head, looking at Batman in her hands. It was times like this that Amira wished they never lived in Gotham, that her father wasn’t a billionaire...

“If it’s a place where the public knows you or a place that I can easily be spotted, I can’t go.” Amira recited, letting a frown replace her smile. She threw herself back onto her bed, throwing her comforter over her head.

Bruce let out a heavy huff.

“Goodnight.” He whispered, deciding to let her be. As soon as he stepped out of her room, Bruce faced Alfred.

“Is Miss Amira asleep already?” Alfred asked, motioning to the tray with a cup of milk. “She usually drinks a glass before going to sleep.”

“She’s awake, but I wonder if she would even talk.” When he saw Alfred lift a brow, Bruce decided to continue. “I told her she couldn’t join me to go watch the Haly’s Circus tomorrow. The press already knows I’m going, I can’t let them know about Amira just yet.”

“With all due respect Master Bruce,” Alfred began, opening the door to walk in. “The longer you keep hiding her from the public, the harder it will be to keep it that way. You can’t keep sheltering her away from a world she deserves to see. To be in.”

Bruce was left with those words in his mind, wondering what he should do.

Ever since he was assaulted, he vowed to protect Amira, even if it meant that she could not step foot outside the manor.

When she turned three, Bruce made sure to homeschool her, teaching her the basics of English, which included reading and writing. One she was five, he taught her the basics in math and science. As a side subject, Bruce was starting to teach her French, hoping to teach her mandarin when she grows older. 

But now that Alfred was stating that Bruce should allow Amira to go out, Bruce wondered if he had been approaching this situation wrong this entire time.

But what if villains found out about her being his daughter? Of being a Way-

Bruce stood there in his thoughts for a while before an idea wouldn’t leave his head. Why didn’t he think about this sooner?

-

Amira let out a gasp as she entered the circus tent, gaping at how large it was, taken aback at how many people there were inside the tent.

There was even a second level inside the tent!

“Is it usually this crowded?” Amira asked the man next to her. Or rather, Tom Dupain - her ‘father.’

“I heard it’s like this because of Mr.Wayne visiting the circus today, but it usually is this crowded during Sunday shows.” Tom provided, watching as Amira continued to look around, a smile escaping him. 

He always wondered what it felt like to have a child, wondering if he was even up to the task.

When Bruce Wayne had reached out to him to look after his daughter, Tom Dupain accepted the honor. After all, it was thanks to Bruce that his tiny bakery in Gotham was taking off, Tom’s dream of being a well known bakery taking form. All it took was one gala and Tom’s pastries for his dream to take off, Tom knowing he owed Bruce a huge favor.

He had met the young Wayne at that very gala, the girl having snuck into the kitchen to get a taste of one of his pastries. Amira Wayne - Tom only knew her as Amira and the granddaughter of Mr.Alfred Pennyworth. Tom didn’t think Amira was Bruce’s daughter as there was no news about the young Wayne.

While Tom had only known her for a few moments before Alfred shooed her away, Tom had grown a soft spot for the child.

“Mr.Dupain-”

“Tom is fine.”

“Mr.Tom,” Amira corrected herself. “Thank you for letting me be here today.” Amira said, holding Tom’s hand with both of hers. 

Just as Tom was about to respond, the ringmaster chose that moment to begin the show.

Amira watched as the ringmaster welcomed the people and shouted out her father, seeing him across the tent, smiling when they saw each other. 

The ringmaster then introduced the Flying Graysons, Amira’s eyes widening at how high up the family was. She wondered if her own father would allow her to be that high up.

With the cheering of the crowd, Amira watched with wonder as the Grayson’s started their performance, starting with a somersault. She watched as the man caught his wife with ease, the woman sending a salut before going onto the platform. Amira watched with absolutely glee as she watched the son do two somersaults in the air before returning back to the platform. 

Amira listened as the ringmaster announced the Graysons' famous trick. Amira stood at the edge of her seat, feeling her heart thump loudly against her chest. She watched as the woman spun once, twice...thrice! But as soon as she was caught by her husband, the string of the bar snapped, Amira feeling her heart come to a stop. 

She watched as the two fell and just as they were two were mere feet away from touching the ground, her eyes were covered. 

Amira would never forget the screams she heard as she was ushered out of the tent. She heard Tom whisper to her that everything was going to be okay in rushed French. 

That everything was fine. 

That was the first and last time she was allowed to step out of the manor for a very long time.

NEXT

[im-the-punk-who]

So I've been thinking a lot about Thomas Hamilton (lmao what else is new) but specifically in the ways in which he's flawed. Because he is flawed. We always like to say no one in Black Sails is totally good or bad - and I absolutely think that is true, and applies to Thomas as well.

The main criticisms of him seem to be his idealism and the ways in which he supports the colonialist empire. That he was incredibly privileged, and that the people he surrounded himself with were not even close to good people.

(Especially valid since the Enlightenment thinkers he is touching elbows with are the ones who started arguing for why slavery was Actually Good and caused a lot of the social problems that still extend to today in terms of ableism and homophobia and racism and like you name it the Enlightenment thinkers probably helped.)

And all of that is absolutely true when we first meet him - especially in his first interactions with James, Thomas comes off as kind of smarmy and the exact kind of person we all love to hate - someone who is privileged and doesn’t even realize how much. And reading him as the ‘benevolent colonialism’ character is totally valid.

In the show’s overt text, he appears as a foil to the blatant colonialists - Alfred, Woodes, etc. The ‘at least he’s better than these guys’ guy. And he is a great commentary on the Enlightenment as a whole, on how privileged people can mean well and still fuck up, and still be wrong. Because his plan with James is absolutely not the end all be all. It’s flawed - it supports the empire and doesn’t(blatantly) take into account slavery or indigenous genocide or any of the supports that would be required for it to function. And also because he frankly expects a *lot* of James that he has no right to expect. “I need someone who is willing to put his career on the line for the plan I want to enact” is not exactly the sexiest of pick-up lines when you’re talking to someone whose career is literally the only thing he has, T.Ham.

I like to sort of affectionately call him the sexy lamp, because at first glance he seems to be this very static character whose only trait is ‘good’ who is the MC’s motivation for everything(and his ‘reward’ at the end) but not really much else. And he does fit a lot of the tropes of The Love Interest.

But the real ‘problem’ I suppose, is that we never get to see him grow out of any of that. We do see him start - the Thomas Hamilton who sniffs around James' past and thinks he knows All About Pirates and that "The New World Is A Gift, Lieutenant" is not the same Thomas we see in his final moments in London. But with the other characters, and particularly Flint, we get to see that arc of growth and reasoning through a microscope, whereas with Thomas it’s all subtext.

And that’s not to double down on the ‘Thomas is perfect’ thing. I do genuinely think he, just like all the other characters in Black Sails, has things that are good and bad about him. And like, particularly the colonialism thing - all of the characters in Black Sail function within a colonialist system - Thomas more closely than most of them. Possibly the only ones who wholly reject the system are the Maroons(Julius in particular), I could see an argument for Vane, and *maybe* there’s an argument for Flint as the very end of the series. All of the others - Silver, Jack, Max, Eleanor, Flint, etc, and yes, Thomas - all function within the society they were raised in and the biases inherent within it. 

And breaking out of that is incredibly hard to do. Since the entire finale of the show has to do with what an empire will force us to choose between, and how for some, personal sacrifices are not allowable to forward a movement, I think it’s fair to say it might even be impossible for some of them.

But the thing that I personally love about Thomas (and Flint) that is missing in the others is the *acknowledgement* of that. Thomas flat out says he knows he is privileged. He asks James to help him, because he recognizes that he is not capable of seeing the solutions that would really be helpful. And I think someone like that given access to people with real world experience of the horrors of colonialism(someone like Mr. Scott, or the Maroons) would absolutely be open to changing when he is proven he’s wrong, and sacrificing his personal comfort in order to help those who have more to lose. 

Thomas may have been an idealist, but I don’t think he was at all naive about what he was risking. It would have been impossible for him to be, with everyone around him(Miranda, Peter, James, etc) telling him what is at stake for him personally. And I think there is a very real discussion to be had about him being willing to put other people’s safety on the line(Miranda) for his idealism. But he absolutely knew the risks of what he was doing, he just thought it was that important to try.

*That* is what speaks to me about Thomas’ character. That when he is shown he’s wrong (with the hanging of the pirate and James showing him that society ‘needs it’s monsters’) he changes. He’s willing to fight for what he sees as injustice. The thing that speaks to me about Thomas isn’t that he’s perfect, it isn’t that he is some magical paragon of pureness that even through his immense privilege managed to come out Good uWu. It’s that he realizes that he is *not* perfect, that the *World* is not perfect, and makes genuine efforts - in the best ways he knows how - to change that and to affect the world around him. To make changes that would genuinely benefit society and people(as he understands them). He learns, and he tries to grow, and he tries to use his power to make things better. 

And again, he fails. He does fail. His goal was to change England and to make them realize that a system of government that survives based on the subjugation of The Other was wrong, and he fails at it. But he tries, and he does realize the problem. And that’s all we can do, yeah? Just....all we can do is fucking try our best, admit when we’re wrong, and try to do better. He is a reminder that those in a place of privilege need to use it: that we need to care about things that don’t necessarily effect us because it’s what’s *right*. But also that we’re going to fuck up just by the very nature of our privilege. That we all, no matter how ‘good’ we want to be, have unlearning to do, and sometimes our best isn’t going to be good enough. 

Sometimes our best is still going to hurt people. Thomas is a reminder that we all intersect on so many different levels and that sometimes we see it and sometimes we are blind to it, and that you have to listen and actively seek out people who intersect with the world differently, and above all you’ve got to be kind, and you’ve got to realize that the only way to exist radically in a world that wants to separate us is to live without the shame of failing. Know no shame - the shame of failure, the shame of not being perfect, the paralyzing fear that we are never going to be good enough. Because we’re not. We’re all flawed. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. 

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I can’t really tell if I’m aro? I thought that I have crushes, but they could be squishes or something, idk. I feel the whole light and airy and bloomy feeling, daydreaming about being their friend. I feel all that flowery feeling and can’t help but to think, this can’t be platonic, because up till now every feeling like that I’ve seen portrayed is romantic. I think I have a “crush” on someone rn, and I think who it is might change things, because they’re a youtuber. (I know I know, feel free to bully me lmao) So I know that there is slim to none chance of even ever meeting them, let alone being friends or dating. So it’s SafeTM. I don’t really think I want dating. It sounds cute in theory, but in action not so much. But I feel like I can’t say that confidently because of my rather small expierence pool. Every relationship I’ve been it, I didn’t like, really like them. It just kinda. Happened. I kept thinking maybe one would work when I found someone I actually liked, or that after a while I would begin to like them back. I’m in a relationship rn, but a bit after the one month mark, I called off the romantic part, because I was just getting more and more uncomfortable with it. I only felt really strong platonic or queerplatonic emotion for the guy I’m with, I think. At first I was fine and happy just to be recognized as important to him, and kept up the happiness with that while ignoring the terror of romance, but after the hype dies down a little more, and the repulsion to romance doesn’t, it gets a bit harder to ignore. We’ve switched to platonic, which I’m much more happy with. I feel a bit sad I can’t give him the romantic feelings he wants, though. I quickly got off topic. Just. Idk how to accept that platonic/queerplatonic feelings can be just as strong as romantic ones. I know it in theory, but far from practice. My brain keeps telling me that someone can’t make me feel all butterfly-y without it being romantic, so I’ve always assumed I got crushes really easily. And another thing too is that I love reading about romance in fanfic, but now that I’ve started questioning, sometimes I just think that “hey, you’ll never feel this” while reading and get sad, because it sounds nice. Idk I just. Help :(

So it sounds like you’ve kind of got it figured out already these crushes probably aren’t romantic. And honestly my guess would be that it’s a squish, which can have a lot of the same symptoms as romantic attraction, except the one big difference that it’s completely platonic. 

Honestly it’s hard, we grow up in this culture that tells us every single attraction feeling is romantic and when you don’t experience romantic attraction it’s so easy to mistake other types of attraction as romantic attraction. And add on to that the pressure for romance and romantic partners to be the most important thing and it can mess with our heads. 

For dealing with these feelings, definitely read up on amatonormativity, and especially on it from the perspective of aro people. And a lot of aro bloggers talk about this, and you can search through tumblr or goog amatonormativity aromantic and you’ll get a lot of results. But you can also follow blogs that talk about this sometimes too. But learning the theory behind it can help with unlearning. 

Another thing that can help a lot is look at what messages you’re getting from the people around you/media you consume. So if there’s people in your life who are just really romance/partner obsessed, and really buy in to things like ‘the one’ and ‘soulmates’ either figuring out other things to talk about or spending less time around them can help. Romance in shows/movies also tends to be really amatormative too, and just lean heavily on that ‘this is the only way to be happy/everyone has a one’ kind of stuff, and for now I’d recommend avoiding it completely, including fanfiction. 

This isn’t forever, just until you’re in a better place emotionally and you can handle it better. But taking a break when it’s physically hurting is a really good idea.

And then to replace it, focus on other interests. Most people are really interested in something that has nothing to do with romance, and you can usually steer conversations to that. Or even other things going on in their life or yours. For media found family stuff is great, anything that involves people slowly becoming close and becoming their main family unit. So like something like Star Trek, but honestly there’s a lot of good stuff. Family focused stuff can be good too if you like that, and there’s some good shows/movies centered around family.

But basically you’re training your brain to recognize the importance of platonic relationships and seeing how meaningful those can be too. And the more you do the more you’ll believe it emotionally, and the less not having a romantic relationship will hurt. 

Personally I tend to look at romance a bit like chocolate, and people go on about how amazing chocolate is, and there are some people who just don’t like, and will never like it. And even if they force themselves to tolerate it, they still won’t get the same meaningful experience out of eating it that someone who really loves it will. And that’s also OK because there’s a lot of other food, and there’s a lot of other things to enjoy that have nothing to do with food at all. And frankly not liking or even not eating chocolate really isn’t that big a deal. And neither is not really getting anything out of having romantic relationships, because there’s a lot of other ways to find happiness, and a lot of other things that can be really fulfilling. Romance is great for some people, but it’s not the big most important thing in the world it’s made out to be.

Other things you can do could be hanging out in aro spaces/meeting other aros, reading aro media, etc. And that can help too with realising that a lot of people are aro and happy, and are comfortable being aro. And just in general can give you people you can relate to who are similar to you.

But yeah hopefully that’s helpful, and gives you a direction to go in. (Also there is nothing wrong with being attracted to youtubers! Don’t worry.)

All the best, and good luck!

[cardentist]

this isn’t a proper discourse post, I Agree with a lot of what the op said but there’s specific things about it that get under my skin in a way that makes me want to talk about it, but I don’t want to engage with that post both because I don’t want to speak over the point that’s being made and frankly because I don’t want to be misinterpreted because of the point that’s being made in it.

so for context, I’ll just say that it was a long post about how a lack of engagement with women characters in fandom spaces is tied to misogyny. just be aware that I’m responding to something specific and not criticisms of this in general. (feel free to dm me if you want to see the post for yourself)

the rest of this is going to be rambly and a bit unfocused, so I want to get this out the door right at the top: it is not actually someone’s moral obligation to engage with or create fan content. all other points aside, what this amounts to is labeling people as bigoted for either not creating or engaging with content that you want to see, and while the individual may or may not be a bigot it’s not actually anyone’s job to tailor their fandom experience to cater to you. 

fandom is not activism. it’s not Wrong to point out that a lack of content about women in fandom is likely indicative of the influence of our misogynistic society. and suggesting that people examine their internalized biases isn’t just fine, it’s something that everyone should be doing all the time. but saying that it is literally someone’s “responsibility” to “make an effort” by consuming content about women or they’re bigoted is presenting the consumption of fan content as a moral litmus test that you pass and fail not by how you engage with content but by not engaging with all of the Correct content. 

judging people’s morality based on what characters they read meta for or look at fanart for is, a mistake. it Can Be Indicative of internalized biases but it is not, in and of itself, a moral failing that has to be corrected.

if you want more content to be created about women in fandom then you do it by spreading content about women in fandom, not by guilting people into engaging with it by saying that they’re bigots if they don’t. you encourage creation Through creation.

okay, now to address what Mainly set me off to inspire this post.

this post specifically went out of it’s way to present misogyny as the only answer for why this problem exists in fandom spaces. and while I absolutely agree that it’s a Factor, they left absolutely no room for nuance which included debunking “common excuses.” which, as you can probably guess, contained the things that ticked me off.

first off, you can’t judge that someone is disconnected from women in general based on their fandom consumption because the sum total of their being is not available on tumblr. 

people don’t always bear their souls in fandom spaces. just because they don’t actively post about a character or Characters doesn’t mean that they see them as lesser or that they don’t think about them. the idea that you can tell what a person’s moral beliefs are not based on what they’ve said or done but based on whether they engage with specific characters in a specific way in a specific space can Only work on the assumption that they engage with that space in a way that expresses the entirety of who they are or even their engagement with that specific media.

what I engage with on ao3 is different from what I engage with on tumblr, youtube, twitter, my friend’s dms, and my own head. people are going to engage with social media and fandom spaces specifically differently for different reasons. you can’t assume what the other parts of their lives look like based on this alone. 

second off, there can be other factors at play that influence people’s specific engagement with a fandom.

they specifically brought up the magnus archives as an example of a show with well written women. which while absolutely true, does Not mean that misogyny is the only option for why people wouldn’t engage with content about them as often. for me personally? a lot of fan content is soured because of how it presents jon. I relate to him very heavily as a neurodivergent and traumatized person, and he faces a Lot of victim blaming and dehumanization in the writing. sasha and martin are more or less the only main characters that Aren’t guilty of this, and sasha was out of the picture after season 1.

while this affects my enjoyment of fan content for these characters To Some Extent on it’s own (I love georgie, I love her a lot, but I can’t forget that she looked at someone and told them that they were better off dead because they couldn’t “choose” to not be abused), the bigger issue is fan content that Specifically doesn’t address the victim blaming and ableism as what it is, even presenting it as just Correct. 

this isn’t exclusive to the women in the show by any means, this is exactly why I avoid a lot of content about tim, but it affects a lot of the women who are main characters. that isn’t the Only reason, there’s more casual ableism and things that tear him down for other reasons (the prevalent theory that elias passed up on sasha because he’s afraid of how she’s More Competent In Jon In Every Single way. which comes with the unfortunate implications of jon being responsible for his own trauma because he just wasn’t competent enough to avoid it) but that’s the main one that squicks me out.

of course not all fan content does this, and I Do engage with content about these characters, but sometimes it’s easier to just stick with content that centers on my comfort character because it’s more likely to look at his character with the nuance required to see that it is victim blaming and ableism. 

it’s not enough to say that the characters are well rounded or well written and conclude that if someone isn’t consuming or creating content about them then it has to be due to misogyny and nothing else.

there’s also just like, the Obvious answer. two most prominent characters are two men that are in a canonical gay relationship, which draws in queer men/masc people on it’s own but the centering of their othering and trauma Particularly draws in traumatized queer people that are starved for content. georgie and melanie are both fleshed out characters in and of themselves, but their relationship with each other doesn’t have nearly as much direct screen time. and daisy and basira have a lot more screen time together and about each other, but their relationship is very intentionally non-canon because of its role as a commentary on cop pack mentality.

people are More Likely to create content for the more prominent relationship in the show and be drawn into the fandom through that relationship in the first place. I have no doubt that there Are misogynistic fans of the show, but focusing on the relationship and the characters that make you happy isn’t and indication that you’re one of them.

which brings us to the big one, the one that sparked me into writing this in the first place (and the last that I have time for if I’m being honest). the “common excuses” section in general is, extremely dismissive obviously but there’s only one section that genuinely upsets me. 

without copying and pasting what they said directly, it essentially boils down to this: while they recognize that gay and trans men are “allowed” to relate to men, they’re still Men which makes them misogynistic. Rather than acknowledge Why gay and trans men would engage with fan-content specifically that caters to them they present it as a given that it’s 100% due to misogyny anyways. they present queer men engaging with content about themselves as them treating women like they’re “unworthy of attention,” calling it a “patriarchal tendency” that they have to unlearn.

being gay and trans does not mean that you’re immune to misogyny, being a woman doesn’t even mean that you’re immune to misogyny, but that’s engaging in bad faith in a way that really puts a bad taste in my mouth. 

queer men aren’t just like, Special Men that have Extra Bonus Reasons to be relate to boys, they’re people who are more likely to Need fandom spaces to explore facets of themselves. and while you can Relate to any character, it feels good to be able to explore those aspect with characters that resemble you or how you see yourself.

when I first started actively seeking out fandom spaces in middle school I engaged with content about queer men more or less exclusively. at this point I had no concept of what trans people were, and wouldn’t begin openly considering that I might be a trans person until high school. I knew that I’d be happier as a gay man before I knew I could be a gay man, and that’s affected my relationship with fandom forever. 

I engage with most things pretty casually, reblogging meta and joke posts when I see them, but what I go out of my way to engage with is largely an expression of my gender identity and sexuality. I project myself onto a comfort character and then I Consume content for them because that was how I was able to express myself before I knew that I needed to. it’s not that girl characters aren’t “worthy” of me relating to them, it’s that I specifically go to certain fandom spaces to express and work through my gender and sexuality. that’s what I use those fandom spaces For.

I imagine that I’ll need this crutch less when I’m allowed to transition and if I ever find a relationship situation that works out for me. but also like, why should I? it’s not actually hurting anyone for me to explore my gender and sexuality through fanfic until the end of time. nor does it hurt anyone for me to focus on my comfort characters. 

fandom is personal comfort and entertainment, not a moral obligation. people absolutely should engage with women in media and real life with more nuance and energy than they do, but fandom spaces are not the place to police or judge that. 

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

The Stacks Two Year Anniversary Thing’a’ma’jig

Hey, ya so two years ago, today, August 11th 2018, I published the first chapter of The Stacks. I realized a bit too late that the anniversary was coming up, but I wanted to do something. So first I wanted to make this:

If The Stacks ever were to become an actual book, I would like to think the cover would look something like this (please excuse the poor coloring)

Secondly, I just wanted to talk about the story, how I came up with it and all, so yeah let’s do that-

So I didn’t have any actual plan for the book when I started writing it. The only ideas I had were: steampunk, and Virgil is a clockmaker. That was all I had. Then when I started to write the first chapter and began world building I realized two things: this isn’t steampunk, and Virgil being a clockmaker doesn’t make sense.

I honestly didn’t know what or where I was going with the story when I started it, and I only got an idea around chapter 15 (which was around where I had originally planned to end it.) But I credit @impatentpending‘s Powerless as inspiration and drive for my story. Her take on societal issues (although a superpowered one) really inspired me to continue my story and gave me a bit of direction (also what’s not to love about enemies to lovers). My other inspiration was John Steinbeck, one of my favorite authors, specifically his book Grapes of Wrath, since my story had a lot to do with poverty and social class issues that were similar to the Great Depression and the plight of the Oakies.

Once I had this goal of what I wanted to portray in mind I started to delve deeper into the main four characters.

Virgil: I wanted to show the anger and strife of the oppressed, as well as showing the comradery that tragedy often brings out in people. This as well I also wanted to portray the feeling of helplessness and entrapment that abuse situations often brings, but also the kindness that can come out of it. In addition: his ‘romance’ (or lack of one for the majority of the story) was meant to display how looking to other people in romantic entanglements due to trauma can often be harmful to one or both parties. I wanted to show that Virgil first took the time to work on himself and heal from old wounds BEFORE he went into a relationship.

Patton: I wanted to mainly use him as a way to show the differences of social class, since he was the only one two live in both worlds as a Stacker and as a Non-Stacker. His interactment with new ideas and technology was meant to show just how little the Stackers have and know due to their confinement.

Logan: He was a tricky one to develop, as he kind of had his own subplot all together and didn’t interact much with the other main four besides Patton. However, I decided to use him to show how ignorance of other’s issues while being in a position of power can actively cause damage for the suffering minority. Those in power should know the intimate lifestyle of all citizens so that everyone has their needs met and recognized. I also used his perspective to show the corruption in Politics, and how some politicians actively choose do to evil to specific groups because they view them as less than another.

Roman: I said that Logan was tricky, but Roman was a whole ass struggle to write. Roman’s role is similar to Logan’s but taking a different approach. He’s ignorant to the struggles of the Stackers not because he doesn’t know anything about them, but rather because he was raised and taught perpetuated stereotypes about them. This was to demonstrate how generations of people who look down on or abuse certain groups act because of conditioned thinking taught to them by parents/school/media, etc. Not to excuse the bigotism that these people exude, but rather to show that this way of thinking can be unlearned if given time and self-checking. (This and also that when it comes to romantic pursuits with someone who deals with trauma, to never pressure them into anything or make them feel bad for not being able to give themselves to you the way you’d want.)

Bonus!:

Damien: Although I love and adore Janus, Damien can go burn in a pit of fire. Nevertheless the reason I wrote him to be so despicable was to portray those who take advantage of the suffering around them to benefit themselves. People who come from a harsh background and come out of it can sometimes shun those who live in similar situations that they did, or even make their lives worse, due to a lack of empathy, a feeling of superiority, and being a sociopa- I mean a dick.

Q/A Time! :D

 @dreamyzworldlove​ asked: do emile and thomas ever call logan dad??

A: Yes they do, they did in the last chapter. I tried to show the difference by having them call Logan ‘dad’ and Patton ‘pa’

Anonymous asked: Weird question I know but, in the stacks, if things had (from whatever point) played out differently, what other pairings do you think could’ve ended up together or you might have paired together in the World you built??

A: If Virgil hadn’t ended up with Roman than I like to think he wouldn’t date, at least not anyone from the main cast. I also think Patton and Roman would have made a cute couple if they interacted more in the beginning. 

Anonymous asked: did you have an idea in mind for Damien’s age?

A: I never thought too much on it but I had the idea that Damien took to power at age 17 or 18, ruled the Stacks for about three-four years before Virgil came to him to help Patton. That would mean he’s about 25/26, so around the same age as Roman and Patton

Final Thoughts:

The Stacks is my favorite work I have done so far, and I credit it for being the reason why I realized I wanted to be an author and what helped me develop my skills the most. It’s hard to believe it’s already been two years, and that it took took two years to write the damn thing. Nonetheless I am eternally grateful to all of you for being with me along the journey, and if you’re new, thank you for reading, and if you haven’t read it, then the story just got spoiled for you. Sorry.

[violethowler]

The Things That Matter

I’ve talked a lot over the last two months or so about the many different ways that the characters, story, and themes of the Kingdom Hearts series align with the framework of the Heroine’s Journey. For the final chapter in this series of essays, I’d like to talk about what it means for this series to follow this narrative formula. Because the fact that Kingdom Hearts fits into this storytelling pattern is critically important now more than ever. 

The three most recent series I know of that aligned with the Heroine’s Journey framework all ended up missing the landing in various ways. Two of the three - Voltron: Legendary Defender and the Star Wars sequel trilogy - abandoned the formula in their final installments, while the third one - the Frozen movies - managed to fit into the formula almost completely, but suffered in the second movie from a lack of clarity as to which of the two leads is the main protagonist and which is the Animus. Two of these were under the Disney umbrella, and all three have had evidence found that executive meddling or other behind-the-scenes conflicts over story direction played a role in how the final installments ended. 

As I mentioned in my essay “Into the Unknown,” when a story deviates from the structure it appears to be following, it produces a visceral sense of wrongness in the audience. In stories which up toward the end aligned with the Heroine’s Journey, that effect is amplified. The framework of the Heroine’s Journey was designed to uplift the experiences of identities outside of what society considers the default option in storytelling. The lived experiences of those identities are mirrored in the narrative’s themes. So when a story set up around calling out prejudices and double standards about those identities that are ingrained into the audience’s culture deviates from that formula, the result inevitably ends up reinforcing those biases instead, on top of the brokenness of the narrative in general.  

In terms of how this applies to Kingdom Hearts, Sora and Riku’s individual character arcs have been noted by many LGBTQ+ fans to have notable parallels with elements of their own lived experiences:

Riku’s arc of learning to accept his darkness as something natural that’s a part of him and which he can express in a positive way mirrors how many LGBTQ+ people grow up with the idea that same-sex attraction is “sinful” and “unnatural” and have to unlearn that mindset in order to realize that there’s nothing wrong with them. Likewise, Mickey’s line in Re:COM about how spending time with Riku has positively changed his opinion about Darkness can be read as an analogy for straight people who are initially unsure of or hostile to LGBTQ+ identities changing their minds with education and first-hand interaction to become staunch allies. Esmeralda’s talk with Riku about how “There are just some things we need to keep separate from the world at large, at least until we have time to figure them out”[1], while on one level is referencing Riku’s Darkness and his inner turmoil relating to Ansem, can also describe the common LGBTQ+ experience of being in the closet and hiding that part of yourself from the people around you[2]. 

As for Sora, in Kingdom Hearts III he responds to Davy Jones’ comments in The Caribbean about the romantic relationship between Will and Elizabeth by saying that “I still have a lot to learn about love[3],” indicating he lacks understanding of his own feelings in the area of romance. This is supported by the official Kingdom Hearts Character Files book published by Square in February 2020. Short stories in this book featuring Sora’s POV depict him as actively confused about what romantic love is[4], and struggling to define the nature of his relationship with Riku[5][6]. This can be a common experience for LGBTQ+ youth growing up surrounded by media that only ever depicts romantic relationships as one boy, one girl. Many people who grew up like this—myself included—have had similar experiences of struggling to understand our own feelings about someone of the same gender because for our entire lives up to that point we had little or no exposure to the idea that being romantically interested in someone of the same gender as you was an option. 

Sora and Riku are each written in ways that speak to common LGBTQ+ experiences, and the fact that so many things—the canon parallels to Disney romances, the match with how love interests are portrayed in the Heroine’s Journey, the fact that one of the series’ Lead Event Planners Michio Matsuura was described by the Co-Director Tai Yasue to be “head over heels for the bond between Riku and Sora’s hearts[7]”, in connection with his enjoyment of “pure love dramas[7]”—are all pointing to the conclusion that these similarities did not happen by accident, but by design. 

It makes so much sense for Heroine’s Journey narratives to be used to tell LGBTQ+ stories because there are so many ways that homophobia and transphobia overlap with and are rooted in the very same gender and cultural norms that the framework challenges. Many countries have come a long way towards public acceptance of LGBTQ+ identities, but in terms of the stories that we tell, mainstream fiction is still skewed in favor of stories with protagonists who are straight and cisgender. Storylines with straight romance are treated as a society-wide default, while creators in countries like the U.S. who want to include even the smallest background references to LGBTQ+ relationships have had to fight and push back against corporate pressure to remove them. 

This is especially true for media aimed at children and teenagers, as the fact that being openly LGBTQ+ is still widely considered problematic in many countries is frequently used by entertainment executives in ostensibly more progressive countries as an excuse for censoring LGBTQ+ storylines and characters. Multiple creators working on animated shows for Disney and/or its competitors have spoken out in recent weeks about the resistance they faced to including LGBTQ+ relationships[8][9][10] and how they were told that openly acknowledging characters as non-straight was too controversial or “inappropriate for the channel"[9].

As a consequence of this environment, creators wishing to depict non-heterosexual relationships have had to resort to creative methods of getting the implications past the censors in a way that LGBTQ+ audiences would recognize while still maintaining plausible deniability so that the executives could make money off the story in anti-LGBTQ+ markets. The downside to this is that because these efforts are more subtle, most straight audiences will either not notice the implications, or else dismiss them as an accident. Some will go as far as coming up with alternate explanations to justify why any potential LGBTQ+ subtext about a character or relationship could not possibly have been put there by the creator intentionally. 

This extends not only to audiences, but also to people who interact with these stories in a professional capacity, such as translating and marketing a story’s international release. Animated shows that feature same-gender relationships have had international dubs change the gender of one character in the pairing to make it straight, for instance. Or there's the infamous example of how the English dub for Sailor Moon in the 1990s changed two girls from lovers to cousins in order to provide an explanation for their closeness that didn't involve acknowledging that the characters were not straight. In terms of the Kingdom Hearts series, the English localization has routinely downplayed LGBTQ+ subtext in the series while in some cases adding romantic undertones to interactions between a male and female character that did not exist in the original Japanese script. Kingdom Hearts III was one of the most egregious examples of this:

Hercules’ recollection of how he dove into the River Styx to save Megara’s soul in KH2 is thematically connected to Riku sacrificing himself for Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard through the phrase taisetsu na hito (literal meaning: “precious person”) when Hercules is talking to Sora in Olympus and when Mickey is talking to Riku in the Realm of Darkness at the beginning of the game. The English version translates this as “person I love most” for Hercules, while changing it to “what matters” for Riku and Mickey to call back to his meeting with Terra in Birth by Sleep, which the scene includes a flashback to. While Mickey and Riku’s original meaning can still be deduced from the conversation around it, especially with Mickey saying "sometimes you care about someone so much," changing the line for the sake of a callback downplays the evolution of Riku’s goals from protecting “things that matter” to protecting “the *person* who matters”. 

Donald and Goofy’s teasing Sora in the scene at Galaxy Toys where Sora comments on how much he or Riku resemble Yozora is framed in the English version as “Riku would be a great action figure because he’s cool, unlike Sora.” However the original Japanese indicates that the teasing is centered around the fact that Sora said a character who looks like Riku was good-looking.

When Kairi offers Sora a paopu fruit, she says in the original Japanese that it’s simply a good luck charm so that they don’t get separated, while in the English localization, she says “I want to be a part of your life no matter what, that’s all.” While “that’s all” still fits with how the parallels to Winnie the Pooh indicate her connection with Sora has weakened and she wants to maintain it, the first part of the English line calls back to the legend of the fruit introduced in KH1, which was openly referred to as romantic by Selphie in the original and localized versions of the first game. As a result, this adds romantic implications that contrast with Sora’s unreceptive body language and facial expressions[11] as he reacts to the initial offering of the paopu fruit. 

In the original Japanese, Riku’s words to Sora before his sacrifice at the Keyblade Graveyard translate to “I believe in you. You won’t give up.” The English localization changed it to “You don’t believe that. I know you don’t.” Not only does it remove a callback to the original game, but this phrasing dowplays Riku’s faith in Sora and ignores Sora’s very clear feelings of inadequacy. 

During the scene where Sora and Kairi are floating through the dark tunnel toward the Keyblade Graveyard, Sora’s line in English, “I feel strong with you,” was originally an acknowledgement of Kairi’s strength that called back to how he wouldn’t let her come along on the return trip to Hollow Bastion in the first game because he thought she’d “kind of be in [his] way”[12]. Removing this callback takes the focus away from Kairi’s growth and brushes aside one of the ways the game shows that Sora’s view of her has changed over the course of the series.

Some fans defend changes such as these insisting that the development team had to have approved of them. However Testuya Nomura himself feels strongly enough about the subject: he stated in a 2018 interview several months before KH3's release that “an incorrect or defective translation risks compromising the comprehension of the whole story,” referring especially to the Kingdom Hearts series[13], and the English localization of Re:Mind—which was much more accurately translated than the base game—directly references the original meaning of Kairi’s words during the paopu scene in one of the DLC’s Kingstagram posts. This all indicates that changes such as these that remove important connections or change the meaning of the conversation are ones that the development team very much do not approve of. 

LGBTQ+ fans of Kingdom Hearts who recognize their own experiences reflected in Sora's and Riku’s journeys know that Disney has not had a good track record when it comes to depicting LGBTQ+ characters in properties they are affiliated with. The most we ever get in their movies are background moments or nameless characters that are only there in one scene that easily can be cut out for distribution in countries with heavy anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. And that’s if the character’s orientation is even mentioned out loud in the film at all instead of simply being confirmed by interviews before or after release but never acknowledged on-screen. Television has fared better, but until recent years we never had any main characters who were confirmed in-show to be anything but straight. But things are slowly starting to improve. Within the last few years shows like "Andi Mack" and "The Owl House" have depicted major characters as openly interested in others of the same gender[14], and Pixar recently released a short as part of their Sparknotes program called “Out”, which openly centers on a man worrying about telling his parents he’s gay. 

This is why it is so important that the Heroine’s Journey of Kingdom Hearts follow through to a structurally appropriate conclusion, with the development team being given the freedom to tell their story in full without restriction or censorship. Deviating from the formula this late in the series would represent a continuation of the recent trend of Heroine’s Journey narratives being structurally broken by inference from forces other than the main creative team. But if the Kingdom Hearts story is able to complete it’s Heroine’s Journey without executives or localization teams getting in the way of the intended story, then the LGBTQ+ themes already present in Sora and Riku’s journey will break so many barriers,challenge people’s expectations of what is possible, and convey powerful messages of self-discovery and acceptance—just like the framework was designed to. 

Sources

[1] Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance; Square Enix; 2012. 

[2] Tumblr post by @blowingoffsteam2; December 3, 2019. https://blowingoffsteam2.tumblr.com/post/189461796759/blowingoffsteam2-dont-mind-me-over-here-just

[3] Kingdom Hearts III; Square Enix; 2019. 

[4] Translation of KH Character Files Beast’s Castle story by @lilyginnyblackv2; February 3, 2020. https://lilyginnyblackv2.tumblr.com/post/611420864489062401/character-files-beasts-castle-story-english

[5] Translation of KH Character Files Arendelle story by @lilyginnyblackv2; March 3, 2020. https://lilyginnyblackv2.tumblr.com/post/611490139845345280/character-files-arendelle-story-english

[6] Translation of KH Character Files Arendelle story by @notaseednotyet; March 1, 2020. https://twitter.com/notaseednotyet/status/1233993459670765569

[7] “Message from the KINGDOM” Updates!; April 11, 2012. https://www.khinsider.com/news/-Message-from-the-KINGDOM-Updates-2427

[8] “”Steven Universe” and “She-Ra” creators on Representation”; Paper Magazine; August 5, 2020. https://www.papermag.com/rebecca-sugar-noelle-stevenson-2646446747.html

[9] Twitter thread by Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch; August 9, 2020. https://twitter.com/_AlexHirsch/status/1292328558921003009

[10] Twitter thread by Owl House creator Dana Terrace; August 9, 2020. https://twitter.com/DanaTerrace/status/1292321440029478917 

[11] Frame by frame analysis of Sora and Kairi’s body language during the KH3 paopu scene by @notaseednotyet; September 14, 2019.  https://twitter.com/notaseednotyet/status/1172774158167506944

[12] Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix; 2002. 

[13] “Nomura stresses the importance of direct translations on story comprehension, and talks about world development as well as the Gummi Ship;” August 27, 2018. https://www.kh13.com/news/nomura-stresses-the-importance-of-direct-translations-on-story-comprehension-and-talks-about-world-development-as-well-as-the-gummi-ship/ [14] Disney’s The Owl House Now Has a Confirmed Bisexual Character; August 9, 2020. https://io9.gizmodo.com/disneys-animated-series-the-owl-house-now-has-a-confirm-1844665583

[ameliatheamazing]

Avatar Aang

First of all I’m so sorry that this is so late, i had a lot of thoughts to sort out and then once I had written about half of this review my computer crashed and it didn’t get saved so I had to write the whole thing again. Save your drafts people! Anyway this review was supposed to be for just the last part of the finale, but I’m kind of treating it as a review for the whole finale. So this is gonna be a long one. Full review under the cut! Enjoy!

Okay. This finale was absolutely SO GOOD I love this show so much!! And I’m sad it’s over but man what a perfect ending. I really think that ending was so great for this show, it accomplished everything it set out to do, the whole story wrapped up so nicely and every character and story arc was completed. That’s what happens when a show is planned out from the beginning, it has a good ending instead of going on for too long and eventually losing sight of the end goal and going off the rails by the end. (not naming any names but I’m sure we all know those shows.)

We completed the main objective, the goal we got at the very beginning: defeat the fire lord. And I knew for a while that it wasn’t just going to be a cut and dry, “beat the boss in a video game” type deal. There was gonna be something more to it, some kind of nuance added to make it interesting, but I didn’t know what. But oh boy did I love what we got!

I will say, all the stuff with the lion turtle was a little confusing and it kinda came out of nowhere. Like Aang needed a way to defeat Ozai without killing him, and then this giant island that is actually a talking animal/spirit thing just rolls up and gives him a way to do it. Because I guess LT (lion turtle) sensed that Aang needed help so he came and taught him that energy bending thing? Which is also a little confusing and I wish they had explained that more. I had no idea what was going on until Aang said “I took your firebending away.” But that’s not really a bad thing, I think it’s kinda cool that it was kept a mystery. I just wanna know more about it!

(Maybe if we knew beforehand that taking someone’s bending away was a thing that could happen, like they mentioned at some point “there was a legend long ago that this happened” or something and then Aang actively tries to learn it instead of just like.. absorbing the ability from LT. But idk I’m kinda just nitpicking. I still like the way it was handled in the episode)

But let’s get to what Aang actually did which was take Ozai’s bending away! I didn’t expect that at all but it was honestly so perfect. The only proper punishment for him (aside from death) is to take away all his power, and what gave him his power? Firebending. (And also control of a fascist government but firebending is a good representation for that.) Now he can sit in prison for the rest of his life while a bunch of his son’s friends insult himand he can’t do anything about it. It’s what he deserves.

And Zuko is the new fire lord now! Oh my god I’m SO proud of him!! Like he’s gonna be such a good leader, him and Aang and the others are all just kids but they literally are gonna save the whole world and reverse the effects of a hundred year long war. Good for them.

And when Zuko was talking to Ozai and he’s recognized that he never needed his father’s love,, and his banishment was actually the one good thing his father did for him,,, my GOD he has come so far :’) And now he’s getting closure about his mother which is good. I love Zuko very much I’m gonna make a separate post about him. 

Then there’s Azula.. holy shit what happened to her was so sad man. I know she was a terrible person but she was FOURTEEN..she didn’t deserve this, to be raised in the environment she was, having immense pressure put on her to please her father as the firebending prodigy, to be pitted against her own brother from a young age, it’s all just tragic. I got so sad watching that last scene with her and like.. I hope she ends up okay! Idk if it’s in the comics with like, her getting better and unlearning all this toxic behavior, but I would really love to see it. Her character is so so interesting.

Also in this episode we got the scene with Sokka, Toph and Suki, and there were three characters but it was really Sokka’s time to shine. That whole time I was thinking about how far he’s come, like the scene where him and Toph are hanging off the airship about to fall (that was rly sad) but he was just so strong. The whole time. As my second fave character I am proud of him as well. (And then Suki came to save the day which was great.)

I loved the very last scene, where they’re in ba sing se and everyone’s together and happy and Sokka’s painting everybody and they’re all just having a good time.. and we see Aang and Katara with the beautiful sunset (which I did end up making my desktop wallpaper) and they kiss and AAH! that’s what I LIKE TO SEE!! It was just,, so peaceful? It gave me such good vibes and was such a good note to end on, I was crying by then so yeah. Good show. 10/10.

Uh there’s a lot of other stuff I want to talk about but that’s probably it for now..  I really want to make posts about each of the individual characters and what I thought of them and their arcs and stuff so you can hopefully expect that soon. And I’m also gonna answer some asks so feel free to send those! Congrats if you read this whole thing, you get a special bonus point. And uh, yeah thanks for reading my liveblog!! It’s been real fun :) and don’t worry I’m totally gonna post more content after this as well. See ya then!

[elliepassmore]

Written in Starlight review

4/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, magic, jungles, redemption (?) arcs, adventure Woven in Moonlight review. So...I definitely liked Woven in Moonlight better. Ximena is a less whiny narrator and is more on top of getting the things done that she wants to get done. Furthermore, while I've learned about some of the problematic things in Woven, I feel like that book as fewer issues (and ones that can more easily be attributed to Ximena's arc) than this book and Catalina have. It's still a good book, I think, just not as good. While I definitely think the book needs to be read as a sequel and not a companion stand-alone, the idea that it could be read as a stand-alone kind of intrigued me. I do wonder what it would be like to be introduced to this world for the from Catalina's perspective, particularly with how she doesn't really reference the events that led to her banishment. To start off with, the setting is gorgeous, as usual. I loved Ibañez's lush descriptions and the beautiful deadliness of the jungle. I also really enjoyed reading about Paititi, the city of the Illarians, with its stairs and markets and people. The settings were really interesting and lovely, and a lot of the people within those settings also seemed interesting. I also liked the big conflict in this book (the one that wasn't really about Catalina). There was good build up to the mystery of it and it was definitely creepier and more horror-like than the big bads in Woven. I also kind of liked how it mirrored some of the stuff going on with jungles today, re: blights and deforestation in order to get riches, power, etc. As for Catalina...if anyone (re)reads my review of Woven, you'll know I had problems with how snooty Ximena could be at first and how stubborn she was to unlearn her beliefs about the Llascans. You'll also see how I thought Catalina would make a very bad ruler. Catalina, naturally, ends up being snootier and more problematic than Ximena, as well as stuck in this idea that only she should rule Inkasisa. I maintain that her having a decoy for most of her life was not the best move, but that doesn't distract from the fact that she's annoying af with how she can't do anything for herself, especially at the beginning. She just kind of expects things to happen for her, which I don't love. Catalina is also fairly manipulative, particularly with Manuel, and not in a good way. First she manipulates him into seeing her as the One True Queen when even he wanted to see how Tamaya was ruling before making a decision about her, then later on she tries to get him to make a decision about their relationship without telling him all the facts...which play into his decisions!!. What helps her character is that she gets much better toward the end, I will say that, and gains some guts and some brains. Not to mention, Catalina is actually a fairly funny character throughout the book when she's not being miserable. She also clearly does care about other people and doesn't really seem to want anyone to be hurt. While this may seem primarily bad, I don't actually hate Catalina, I just don't really like her either. There are points where I do, but I don't think I like her overall. I will say that Catalina suddenly being okay with Inti and Pachamama on top of Luna was a bit weird and convenient for her and plays into some of the problematic bits of the book. Catalina was completely disgusted by the idea of praying to a different god, or praying to all three, until it benefitted her and then all of those life-long just disappeared without much (or any) critical thinking or analysis on her part. Going back to Ximena, who also has problematic bits to her, she at least came to recognize that the other gods weren't something to disparage without having to gain anything from them to realize that. Furthermore, there is a rather inherent issue with Catalina's conclusion that "no one is blameless" re: colonization. Um...excuse me?! Is she really trying to pass off the idea that the Illari, who were indigenous to Inkasisa, were somehow to blame for their own colonization and forced migration? What the actual fuck. And like, even beyond that, the Llascans were in Inkasisa for hundreds of years before the Illustrians marched in and colonized it again, and like, yes the Llascans were originally colonizers, but that doesn't mean that they too deserve to be colonized and repressed. It would be one thing if the Illustrians had been Inkasisa natives and had risen up to retake their land (and then proceded to take it to problematic and oppressive levels, which would actually be fascinating to read about), but it's another thing entirely when the Illustrians are colonizers who get extremely defensive about the power being turned back to earlier inhabitants of the country/land and try to pretend that their throne is their right. It's just...it's...wow. No one is to blame for their own colonization and to suggest otherwise is wrong, revisionist, and so incredibly racist and problematic. Manuel is a better character, honestly. Even though he's also Illustrian and is willing to defend and die for Catalina, he's a lot more open to other ideas, cultures, and peoples. The Illari made clear he wasn't wanted in the jungle and he was basically like "yup, okay, trying to leave" until Catalina shows up. While he's pretty cold to her in the beginning, I didn't think he was all that mean, though there are some moments where he gets a little iffy. From the very beginning he's depicted as someone who has an open mind and is willing to see how Tamaya is ruling before making a decision on whether or not she's a good ruler for Inkasisa. Despite being loyal to the Illustrian throne, he clearly understands that the people who are/used to be in power aren't always the ones who should stay there. He's also depicted as feeling things very deeply and doesn't really shy away from crying or showing fear. I know him and Kusi don't really get off to a good start, but toward the end their relationship seems better and I think they make for some funny interactions. I liked Chaska as a character as well. She was a good warrior, willing to forge on for her people, but she also longed for freedom away from the Illari as well. As a Seer she didn't really get that opportunity since they're so rare and their services greatly needed, but with Catalina's arrival, you can tell her wheels are spinning. I liked that she doesn't put up with anyone's bullshit and is willing to call them on it in a very matter-of-fact way. I'd love to see another book set in this world, but following Chaska. Other side character's include Sonco, the leader of the Illari, who seems to be a good ruler and an all-around nice person. His people clearly respect him and he them, and he leads in a very ego-free manner. Sonco's brother, Kusi, is a more minor character, but I kind of cherish his interactions with Manuel, they're hilarious. Rumi comes back, very briefly, as does Ximena (and I'm pretty sure this book has taken place over a longer span of time than the two of them have known each other). Tamaya also appears very briefly, for about as long as Ximena does, and I maintain that a book following her after the events of this one and Woven would definitely be something I'd read. Overall, I liked the setting, the main non-Catalina and throne-related conflict, and pretty much all of the side characters. Catalina is not an altogether bad character, but I don't lover her. She's kind of neutral for me. I definitely think it would be worth it to do another book following Chaska or Tamaya. There are definitely some problematic elements to this book that, at least in my opinion, were not taken care of or evolved away from in the same way a lot of the problematic elements of Woven were.

[cursedbcrn-a]

@dottirmikaelson​ sent in some headcanon memes

🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to mature,  and why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood?  

I think the only way to really describe it is “tumultuous”, just like everything else in their lives, but filled with more love than she knows what to do with. Hope basically spends the first seven years of her life on the run or moving around, or otherwise not really having the sort of stability a small person generally needs. Her family obviously does a lot to try and mitigate that, and she is never lacking in love, but even she can’t ignore the fact that violence has been a steady companion since the moment she took her first breath. Even if Hope doesn’t remember a lot of the things that happened when she was a baby, we still know they had an impact on her, like the fact that Hope as a toddler can recognize Jackson’s absence after he is murdered. Hope has fond moments from her childhood, especially the year that happens in S4 of The Originals, and she doesn’t overall hate her childhood, but there is certainly a part of her that wishes it hadn’t been quite so eventful. 

Even though Hope doesn’t have bad feelings towards her childhood, it does significantly impact how she interacts with the world. There is a general lack of stability in her early life, particularly when it comes to caretakers. She bonds initially with Rebekah at least for a few months, and then the whole debacle with the body jumping occurs so I believe Cami and Elijah take care of her for a bit ( not to mention that she probably isn’t familiar with even Hayley or Klaus at that point ), and for a while Klaus is her main caretaker while Hayley is cursed, and then Hayley gets uncursed, etc etc. Point being, to her small child brain, the people who are supposed to provide for her keep walking in and out of her life. Of course as the audience, we see and understand the motivations behind the comings and goings, but that is not accessible to a very small person. As such, she develops an avoidant attachment style, not because she doesn’t receive enough love from her family, but because she receives a ton of love from a great many people at irregular intervals. She learns to self-soothe and solve her own problems, because she can never be sure when she’ll have which caretaker, and it further stokes the paranoia that she already inherits from Klaus. 

As she gets older, much of her behavior remains the same, and it’s exacerbated in Legacies. She holds herself apart from her peers, aloof and fiercely independent, as a way of protecting herself from people leaving. It is very much a defense mechanism that has been brewing since the moment she was born. 

Part of Hope wishes to go back to childhood because at least then her parents would still be alive, but at the same time, she has moved past spending any significant time dwelling on that. If anything, she has almost violently closed that chapter of her life, barreling into her “destiny” as a loophole because then her life might actually mean something. However, she really doesn’t want to go back to being treated like a child and kept out of the loop either.

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero?  did they move away,  or do they wish to?

So very, very important. New Orleans is her home, and it will remain so as long as she’s alive. Her roots to it run deep, but it is a different kind of love than Klaus or Marcel have for the city. She sees it as a legacy, something her father desperately worked to gift to her ( whether she wanted it or not ), and how better to honor his memory than to at least try and show the city that the Mikaelson name doesn’t have to mean death and destruction. She has a fairly idealistic and somewhat naive thought that if she can maybe win the hearts of the locals, they might come to realize that there were parts of her family that were good, despite the great evils they had done. While she’s away in Mystic Falls for now, Hope sees NOLA as her true home and is honestly counting down the days until she can go back. 

🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them?  

The answer to this depends who the “others” are in question. There’s what people think of Hope Mikaelson in the abstract. These are people who have never actually met her but know of her because the supernatural world is basically a giant gossip mill. She’s the magical mystery baby and plenty of people conjure these images of her in their minds based off of their own bias and hearsay. It’s the same sort of uncertainty and fear of the unknown that motivates Greta and her followers against her, and there are probably a bunch of people out there who think similarly. Hope tries not to worry too much about these people because they’re going to use her as a scapegoat or a boogeyman regardless, so it really doesn’t matter to her what they think of her. 

The other answer is for people who actually know Hope, i.e. the Crescent wolves, students at Salvatore, people who might not necessarily be part of the super squad but can see that she’s a very small teenage girl with real emotions and dumb problems, just like the rest of them. Despite seeing Hope in the flesh, many of them place an absurd standard on her shoulders, either because they believe she’s going to snap like her father or because she’s supposed to be a perfect hero who never does anything wrong. Hope lowkey hates it because it always makes her feel like she has to have a facade up. Being vulnerable would be giving in to weakness, and it’s one lesson that she still has yet to unlearn. However, it very much does matter to Hope how this latter group sees her. They are the ones who are in her life, whether in the background or someone she regularly interacts with. She doesn’t want to be seen as a monster or held to high standards, but rather she wants to be able to live her own life and make her own mistakes without the fate of the world seemingly resting on her decisions. 

[thestalkerbunny]

What were you thinking about crona?

I was thinking about how the ‘lad with anxiety and obvious trama issues that people always go uwu gotta protect soft boys in that sorta condescending way the fandom sometimes does you know how it is’ some how activates the mom override in me-which is the same kind of over ride my brain goes into when a friend is distressed and can’t do something because of their own anxiety like ask for extra ketchup at a fast food place-and how on one hand, it’s a desire to protect them because I do recognize they’re in distress most of the time but on the other it’s because they’re a reflection of my own anxieties regarding socializing with strangers and being in uncomfortable situations and it’s an desire to protect this reflection of myself from harm.

anyway, I was ranking the ones I like in my head based on how capable they are in a fight and here is the current list-

Crona from Soul Eater-Is very capable in a fight, has a sword, is a swordsman, also has a demon inside of them. A little rusty in the social interaction department and is unlearning a lot of bad mind things his mom put him thru- 10/10 would be a threat in a fight.

Wally from Pokemon Ruby/Emerald/Sapphire- Not necessarily a ‘gotta protect this boy’ character, he’s just a kid with probably severe asthma and low self confidence, but in the game he really comes thru and comes a long way from when you first meet him and He is fully capable of a fight, granted if it’s Gardivor he’s commanding. 10/10 would win a fight. But not against me, I use ghost pokemon and wreck psychic shop everytime.

Allister from Pokemon Shield-Again, just a kid who probably has severe anxiety around people and I would say if you tried to call him on the phone, all you would hear on the other line in nervous breathing-this is a kid who is the embodiment of an italian grey hound in nervousness. But he also has a team of ghost pokemon he hangs out with and if that ain’t tough and capable in a fight, I dont’ know what is. 10/10 would win a fight.

Leslie Withers from The Evil Within-Let me just start by saying the odds are constantly stacked against Leslie in this entire game, we have someone who has been left severely catatonic after a highly traumatizing event as a child, placed in a facility that probably doubled up on that truama thru horrendous treatment and now is being chased by monsters commanded by a crazy scientist-monster who wants to basically mind meld their brains together so he can go walk where the people are again. The only skill Leslie has to defend himself is running and hiding behind people with guns. Leslie has nothing and nobody and although the monsters in the game are not directly hostile towards him-the main villain is in this weird terrifying passive way and that’s not a good thing. I would like to however give this young man the proper care and ethical humane treatment he didn’t fucking get in the place-whoever was in charge of his legal guardianship, I want to fucking talk and by talk I mean meet me behind the Denny’s and square up -1/10 would not win in a fight. Would have been a -2 But I gave him a +1 for the defensive maneuver of running as fast as his little legs can go.

[samswinchesters]

can i ask what your grief is with the decharts? pure curiosity, i've been out of the loop for a while

to be honest with you, i’ve been out of the loop as well and i think that’s a form of self-care, loves xx however, that’s also the thing...even if you are not “in the know”, there really hasn’t been much that has changed (that i have seen).

the main grievance i have with bryan (and the two as a whole because they’re basically one entity at this point) is his/their overwhelming dominant presence within the fandom. he fostered the incredibly harmful behavior to shift the focus of a game that’s basically slavery simulator who had a black man at the helm of the revolution to be recognized as human to focus on the cute white cop. you cannot go down the dbh tag or be in the fandom without seeing a lot of content about connor and hank (and to add, because of that whole “i’m only going to focus on the white character” racist behavior, there has also been a staggering amount of content for gavin reed and rk900...but that’s another lecture). bryan doesn’t seem to acknowledge markus, a black man, and kara, a woman, as if they’re not important so it tells the (it’s mainly his at this point) fandom that hey, let’s forget about markus and kara and just shift our focus on connor. bryan has more than likely seen this go down and did NOTHING about it. he enables that white savior/white-centric narrative. that man has only fueled that culture of dbh being like a connor-only event and has never corrected anybody. that is the most dangerous thing the man (and her) have ever done. those two and their fandom have even made it to the point where quantic dream has seen the response of them and have used connor as a marketing tool. the game is being presented as the story of a white cop, one who is a literal slave catcher, who will either aid in the revolution for android autonomy or stay a machine. the actual story (though terrible) is being reduced to connor (even if the gameplay hasn’t changed) and it’s just...awful. how does continue to profit off a game that isn’t his? a game about history that isn’t theirs to profit off of? such BULLSHIT gosh they’re so annoying...the illusion of a quirky white couple who seem relatable feels like a front (i am NOT criticizing their marriage, i am criticizing their online presence as a couple). they may very much actually be like that and go off, hens but..their internet personas seem so manufactured.

he hasn’t shown any sort of sign of stopping and it’s SO pathetic. love, it’s been nearly two years and you are still milking this shit? you got merch that is nothing BUT about the game? a shitty game made by a shitty racist and perverted white french guy? like sorry to this man but i do not know him, hens xx not to stroke his mf ego but he is a brilliant actor but he is wasting such talent and skill to become a hollow husk of a man. there is no genuine emotion to him anymore, he feels so fake and commercialized...like i hope y’all know he doesn’t care about his fans, neither of them do. they only care about your money, your views, they only care that you are fueling their bank account. they put up a front, henny, oh i know they do because there is absolutely no way anyone is actually like that. and as for his wife, she’s complicit to this whole thing and hasn’t spoken up about anything as well. she uses her side character as some like revolutionary, white feminism, #girlboss, gay rights icon or whatever...that activism is super baseline that it basically means nothing. it’s one thing to be like “oh, i support this!” but it’s another to actually analyze your own behaviors, biases that one carries, and go and unlearn ignorance and educate yourselves on things you may not know much about. they’re both like that...it’s just so mf annoying like go on, girlies! give us nothing!