#this. answer turned out way longer than i thought oops but then i started blabbering about analysis things. im a nerd HAH a massive massive

[suffarustuffaru]

✨

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

AA this is the last fic writer ask question fr :o again it took me a while to get to all of them pfft but i appreciate them a lot!! this question especially is really sweet wkdndn but yes!! and hope anyone reading my answers to these questions found it interesting at least pfft

hmm…. compliment….. im a MAJOR stickler for detail :O i literally cant turn my brain off i have to get EVERY detail i can right whenever possible wjdnd. not that im always right bc im very much not but i try very hard to be!! and i absolutely adore trying to put a lot of detail and nuance into things in my work esp since i focus on characters mental thought process so much hah. i try very hard to do a lot (or at least i consider it a lot widjdj) of research :o for example i wanted to write astrea fic so i devoured every heinkel and reinhard related side story possible and now they give me intense brainrot. cries. since i write a lot of character study i HAVE to look at everything possible before i finish a fic or ill cry inside if i miss one (1) detail i couldve taken into account hah. so i do think im a hard working writer :o !! analyzing things for fun especially when i admire a work of fiction runs in my blood wjdnd it just Happens. i try my best!!

as for um. that one crack treated seriously gluttony if fic i did once (selfcest…). is it accurate to who gluttonybaru is as a character? no in the sense that hes written purposefully in that fic to be like. pushed to his Most Extreme. but also i did try to at least be kind of accurate bc. i combed through SO MUCH of arc 6 and the gluttony if to write him fr 😭😭 there was TOO MUCH analysis in that fic thats why its got a novel length wordcount HAH. hes always had a hate love relationship with “natsuki subaru”….

uhhh uhhh oh yeah something else vaguely related to this that just came to mind—for example my multichap pride otto fic has me like really wracking my brain bc pride otto has screentime for exactly 0.2 seconds (im totally good at math) so its like. i wanted to like analyze how he most likely thinks and what sort of behaviors he has and how hed even react in All the new shenanigans im putting him in. but im also working off of 0.2 seconds of screentime so i had to also go and look at how main otto thinks and try to make Many Educated Guesses on how otto goes from point a (main otto pre-meeting subaru) to point b (the otto we see in pride if). which is something i do every time i focus on an if character in general anyway HAH bc i think it gets easier to understand if versions of characters, no matter how different they seem from their main route selves, once you examine who their base character is and THEN you look at the if events and how its warped them away from their base character. if that makes sense. i think its really fun hah.

i also recognize though that it wouldve been maybe Easier to make pride otto in my fic a little more. dead inside. empty. bc i know that ive been writing a lot of his anger and irritation hah. and it wouldve made sense for him to be a little more tired kind of dead inside in his internal dialogue!!! but i figured that i might as well go a little differently with it to yes maybe subvert expectations a little bit (and bc. ok after arc 8 Confirming Many Things About Otto, no way pride otto wasnt angry at some point. fr.) but also bc. you know when a person whos been in a traumatic situation they couldnt escape for so long is forced to change themselves to survive? if that person manages to finally escape its like. now they gotta try and unlearn any trauma related lessons theyve learned now that the danger is over bc what helped them survive is now maladaptive bc the danger is Over. thats kind of how i approached the fic fr T^T but also i try so hard to write pride otto as the jaded ass he definitely is. theres so much jades in him for sure. (this sentence totally makes sense.)

oh!!! uh uh one small detail with pride otto—when characters have titles, he will almost Always call them by their title in both internal and external dialogue. reinhard is sword saint and julius is the greatest/finest knight and felix is blue, etc etc. otto is well. 1. emotionally constipated 2. distant from others 3. Going Out of His Way to distance himself from others 4. hes very fixated on power and hierarchy and 5. he is Very aware of the role hes played in crushing each knight in the knight trio. main otto Absolutely feels guilt even as hes being ruthless. i figured pride otto likely at least Used to feel guilty. if hes not still guilty deep down.

[megalony]

Oops

This is a small murderer! Ben Hardy imagine I had an idea for, I hope you will all like it, feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem​ @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid​ @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me​ @peterquillzsblog​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​

Murderer! Ben masterlist

Summary: Ben is taken to hospital just before he is meant to go to prison and (Y/n) is the doctor assigned to treat him. But it’s not as easy as she hopes when her patient scares her.

Enjoy.

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With each clicking of her shoes against the polished tiled floor, she could feel her heart adding an extra beat of blood around her body until she was certain that the organ was about ready to give out. She could feel her heartbeat becoming louder in her chest making every beat feel like it was pulsing through her ribcage and echoing against her lungs. A cold sweat started to rattle through her as she got closer to the door she didn't really know if she wanted to go through or not.

The moment she reached the door her body was subtally shaking which she was sure the security guards must have noticed when she took her ID badge from her waist to flash in front of their eyes. It was her golden ticket to get her inside a room that was limited to who could see what it held within.

Her imagination didn't do him justice.

When (Y/n) tried to remember the last time she had seen the man who was in this room, her memory was hazy. She remembered long ash blond curls that swept everywhere on his head. She pictured dark coloured eyes that were like voids with no emotion, she could see thin lips that stayed straight or held a frown but no smile. She could see hardened, cold features that were not flattering and a medium sized build. What she was faced with was much different to her memory that had been helped out with her imagination.

The man laid in the bed was taller than she remembered, to the point his head and feet were almost touching the ends of the bed. He had a very broad muscular frame that made him more of a threat to everyone who stepped into this room. His eyes were the deepest shade of sea-green that (Y/n) had ever seen, they were like gems, but his pupils were what scared her. The darkness was swirling inside of them and they held no sparkles from the light, they were filled with so many bad emotions that looked so inviting yet frightening that it made (Y/n) cower.

His lips were bright ruby red but they were crooked into the most sinister grin that (Y/n) had ever come across in her life. His eyes were slightly narrowed but they were solely stuck on her frame as her own eyes darted around him, forming a lasting image in her mind. His light blond hair was longer on top but shaved very short at the sides and it was folded back over his head so none of it would fall in front of his eyes and distort his vision of her.

What caught (Y/n)'s attention more than his features was his wrists and his ankles. They were handcuffed to the plastic frame of the bed, locking him in a sitting position so he didn't hold the right to raise his hands an inch above the bed, nor could be kick his feet out at anyone. Those restraints caught (Y/n)'s eye for the specific reason that she didn't trust them. This man had muscle, he clearly held strength and his eyes showed he was cunning, just how long were those shackles going to restrain him before he managed to break free?

"Here to help me, sweetheart?" His voice was low and gravelly like his words were rubbing against sandpaper, but his pet name that she remembered so vividly made her cringe.

"Only to make you better, Mr Hardy." (Y/n) kept her voice level and looked down at her notes as she spoke like she thought looking him in the eyes would put her under a trance. She was a doctor, all she was here to do was to find out what was causing his health to decline and then he would be on his way to prison just like he was supposed to be.

Ben was in the hospital because he had a seizure and crippling pains a day before he was supposed to be taken to prison. A lot of doctors here thought he was just playing things up so he could try his luck at escaping but (Y/n) didn't think so. She vaguely knew him and what she remembered about Ben was how he liked to work. He wouldn't want to escape by faking a seizure and he wouldn't want to go to hospital for unnecessary tests to try and make his escape.

He would want to bribe or kill the guard, he would want to break out on his own in the dead of night and get ahead of the game. He would want people to marvel at his twisted mind and his quick getaways.

"Better how? Are you going to try and see if there's something making me ill, or are you going to try and make me better in my head?" When he spoke he flashed his teeth and the look reminded (Y/n) of a shark or a predator eyeing up its prey. He looked ready to devour her or frighten her to the point she either left or let him go free.

(Y/n) knew who Ben was, but the man laying in front of her now was different to the one she had known a few years ago. The man she remembered hadn't been a killer, but he had definitely been heading in that direction. She had read more about him in the news, he seemed to be rather good at killing people considering how long it had taken the police to even get one small crime connected to him with enough evidence to charge him and send him to prison.

He had been killing people and doing dodgy dealings for at least five years with no consequence because he knew how to evade the police and rid himself of any evidence. He did intrigue her, a lot, but she wasn't a psychiatrist. (Y/n) couldn't delve into his mind and find out what made him this way, she would get trapped and never be able to find her way out.

But that seemed to be what Ben wanted.

He loved the thought of people trying to get into his head because he had the ability to trap them without giving them the answers they were looking for. He didn't think there was any reason he was like this, he had a good upbringing, a loving family, a good education. No traumas or accidents happened to him to make him suddenly take to murder, he wasn't damaged or broken or unhinged, this was just how he was and what he liked to do.

"I'm just here to find out what's causing your health problems, nothing more." When (Y/n) lifted her eyes from the notes on Ben's case, she found he was still grinning at her like the Cheshire cat and it was beginning to feel unsettling. No one looked at her the way he was looking at her now, it was like he knew something about her and he was goading her and holding the information over her head like bait. Willing her to take it.

"And you can do that with me cuffed to the bed, or is that how you like all your patients?" Ben tilted his head up to look at (Y/n) when she dared to move closer until she was standing beside the bed instead of at the foot of it. Her eyes locked with his own for a brief moment but she didn't respond, he was only trying to get a rise out of her. "Come on doll, undo them for me. Where am I going to go with ten guards on this floor? I don't wanna run away from a pretty face either."

(Y/n) pursed her lips as she tilted her head to the side, she wasn't stupid and she wasn't born yesterday. Whether Ben really just wanted to sit without being shackled at the joints or whether he wanted to escape made no difference to (Y/n). She didn't have the keys to unlock the cuffs and she wouldn't do that anyway. They didn't pose a problem unless they had to do an MRI but even then, the hospital had other ways of restraining him so that he didn't try and make a break for it.

"I'd love to, but I don't have the keys."

Grabbing a small light from her pocket, (Y/n) cautiously rested her hand on Ben's temple and tilted his head back. Holding his eyelid open with her thumb as she used her other hand to shine the light over his pupils to see if they were constricting quickly or not.

"Any headaches or pains anywhere?"

"Why do you think the lights are turned off?" Ben watched with a smile as (Y/n) seemed to blink like she was clearing her mind of fog, turning her head to look up at the lights before looking around the room to find that it was significantly darker than the corridor. The natural light from the window provided more than enough lighting to see but it wasn't nearly as bright as what the room would be if basked in the illuminated lights.

"I'll schedule an MRI, see if there's anything wrong with your head." (Y/n) held onto the plastic frame of the bed as she looked at Ben who was still smiling which was beginning to make her feel unsettled. There was no reason for him to be grinning, there was something wrong with him and he was going to prison when they treated whatever was wrong, he had no reason to smile.

"That's what they all say... your little bodyguards will have to uncuff me for that. We can finally have some fun."

Ben's words sent shivers running down (Y/n)'s spine and made her stomach churn like she was going to be sick. His tone showed he wasn't messing around or just blabbering, he was thinking about this and he was excited at the prospect of finding a chance to escape. Restraints like buckles around his body would be a bit easier to get out of than handcuffs. But when he spoke about having fun, his eyes glimmered for the first time and showed sparkles without any light in the room.

He was making her a promise.

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"Are you scared?" The question came with a tone of sincerity and worry but the catfish grin that it was spoken through said otherwise. The way those words made his cheeks puff up near his eyes that were narrowing and inquisitive made shivers run down (Y/n)'s spine when she was already trying so hard not to shake from fear.

"Why would I be scared?" (Y/n) tipped her head to the side as she responded to his rather sudden question that seemingly came out of nowhere. (Y/n) was trying very hard to seem and act normal, she didn't want Ben to think she feared him but she didn't want to be cold towards him either. He was her patient and it was better to keep him talking and stay on his good side rather than dare to see what the bad side looked like.

"Because the artery in your neck is pulsing faster than normal... you keep looking at the straps which we both know aren't such a good restraint for me."

Ben's eyes were solely focused on the artery he could clearly see pushing up beneath the surface at such a rapid pace that it looked like it was going to burst. It implied that (Y/n)'s heartbeat was increasing and he could see how hard she was trying to keep her breathing normal. He couldn't have cuffs on because the MRI machine worked with magnets, but the straps binding him down were worn and looked like Velcro that he would be able to tear free from without breaking into a sweat. They both knew that Ben was devious and dangerous and (Y/n) didn't want to see him get free or know what he would do to break free.

"We both know if you manage to get up you're hardly going anywhere with a gown that barely covers your ass and no boxers on underneath. Besides, with no weapon, how do you expect to get out of this room?" (Y/n) adjusted the brace beneath Ben's head so it was fixed around his neck and head to give support whilst he would be in the machine for about forty five minutes.

Ben looked surprised at her answer but his smile didn't slip from his features because she had given him something to think about. He was wearing a gown that tied at the back and he didn't have underwear on, he was hardly going to be able to get out of the hospital wearing that. Nor did he have weapons to get himself out of this room, let alone the hospital. Security had guns and tasers and there was a lot of security who could pin him down and a doctor could sedate him. Ben was outnumbered here.

"Try not to move."

(Y/n) didn't like the wicked grin Ben wore when (Y/n) pressed the button that moved him into the MRI machine. He looked like he was one step ahead of her and always would be.

Half an hour had passed but (Y/n) felt like she was going to be sick because he just would not stop. His lips kept moving and words and phrases kept passing from them but they were rattling around in her mind and rubbing (Y/n) up the wrong way. Worse still, Ben knew what he was doing. The more he talked about what he did, the more (Y/n) felt like she could picture clearly what he had done and who he was. She felt sick when he described how he killed people and how he made sure no one found out. She felt shivers running up and down her nerves when he kept calling out to her. Random nicknames drawled sweetly or seductively or creepily from his lips to try and gain her attention or some sort of rise from (Y/n).

But even though Ben couldn't see her and she was staying deadly silent, Ben knew he was having a bad effect on her and it was making him carry on.

Lifting her head from where it was lowered down to look at the screen, (Y/n) felt a wave of both panic and relief flowing through her when the voice suddenly stopped. Ben was no longer trying to call out to her and ask if she was still there or rambling on to her about whatever dreadful thing spilled into his rotten mind.

Deciding that the scan was done now since it was showing nothing irregular, (Y/n) got up from her chair and entered the MRI room in front of her, Ben's name drawling quietly from her lips but he didn't respond.

Pushing the button, (Y/n) looked at Ben with tired eyes but he still had that same shit-eating grin on his face that she wished to become tired of seeing. She went to say something, but before any words could pass through her lips, her body jolted and her heart stopped in her chest when his hand suddenly latched around her wrist with a viper's grip. His fingers felt like sharp teeth digging into her skin and he held so much force because when he pulled her closer to the point (Y/n) almost fell on top of him, it didn't seem to take any energy from him at all.

"Ben, let go." (Y/n) spoke in a stern tone as her other hand quickly grabbed his own to try and release herself from his grip but it wasn't working. He had more strength than she did, she could already feel the bruises beginning to form on her skin.

"Come on doll, be a good girl and let me out, you know you want to."

(Y/n) shook her head and tried again to pull away but she stopped and her eyes snapped closed when Ben leaned his head closer to her to the point she could feel his breath on her neck. She couldn't let him free from his restraints, he could use her as a hostage to try and get out or he could kill people to get himself free. He was here for a reason and he was bound for a reason, (Y/n) couldn't let him out just because he asked or because he was trying to seduce her.

"I can't, now let go before I call security."

Fear rushed through (Y/n)'s veins along with adrenaline, but she wasn't fearing what Ben was doing or what he was capable of, she was afraid what effect he was having on her because her voice was lost. She couldn't find her voice to call out to the security men that were only on the other side of the door. She stayed deadly quiet when she felt Ben's grip on her wrist tightening and his teeth grazing against her neck.

The moment his mouth left her neck and she could pull back and straighten up, (Y/n) felt like she was going to faint and the urge to pass out only increased when all the blood drained from her head. But her moment of relief lasted two seconds before she looked down at Ben's wrist agonisingly slowly and a whimper left her lips when she realised his hands were now free from the restraints.

Every part of her froze and turned stiff as she watched him sit up with a shit-eating grin on his lips and the void in his eyes that drew her in until she became lost. When his eyes darted down to look at the restraints, he rose a brow and tipped his head to the side in an almost innocent manner.

"Oops."