#like his doctor is just nuts and makes us feel crazy

[landofgay]

kinda feels like I'm on a see saw and on one side is BF's back getting fixed him getting a better position at work me going back to work and us being happy. and on the other side is him being fired and not ever getting his back fixed and him and me being depressed and living with his parents up until one of us offs ourselves. and it's hard to see like. an inbetween rn.

[kremlin]

@wikwalker hi sure yes anything to give me an excuse to procrastinate the post i should be writing right now. here are all teh drugs and how to manage them. you can trust me, a drug addict

first of all: https://www.erowid.org/ , erowid always

don't be afraid of drugs, if they're the right drugs, you should do them since they will be a blast regardless and overcoming fear is also good (but outside the scope here)

OK to do as much as you want: alcohol - social benefit greatly outweighs health effects, no reason to avoid if predisposed to abuse since that'll happen sooner or later. what can i say? don't be a fucking dork. when you start drinking, really overdo it as much as possible without dying and get a few real nasty hangovers under your belt so you know how much is the right amount to drink.

weed - innocuous enough to be fine but will make you stupid in the long term. make sure to only buy from a real drug dealer and never some legal institution. cut it out when you're a "real adult". don't smoke weed and watch TV routinely, go out and do things so you naturally grow to hate it. good to go through this as early as possible to minimize the time you spend as a cringe weed enthusiast

i guess those are the only two.

ok to do infrequently (annually): "lsd" - or whatever it is, probably not lsd, blah blah blah, if it works and is sold on blotter its fine and won't make you go nuts or whatever. opt for a better psychadelic imo. see psych rule at bottom of section

mushrooms - better than acid since you know what they are. rule of thumb is to always do more than you think you want. minimum 1/8oz. see psych rule at bottom of post

dmt - if you somehow have a dmt hookup you don't need to be reading any of this. lasts 10 minutes which leads to tendency to way overdo it, don't do this, my favorite webcomic artist is permanently crazy from exactly that. using a crack pipe is also not the uhhhh most dignifying-feeling thing to do either. it's harder than you think.

mdma - for use at electronic music event or rave. overuse causes brain lesions or something.

coke - wait until you're in your 20s, have maxed out your roth IRA for a couple of years in a row, and havent missed a car payment in a similar timeframe. better still if you've worked a very shitty low paying job and know the value of a dollar. if you still find yourself buying candy you're not ready. too expensive to be worth it to get hooked on. know that you are VERY ANNOYING to anyone who also isn't high. don't fuck around with the guy selling it to you. avoid discussing or thinking about business ideas. you can't afford to make it a habit + kinda turns you into a piece of shit after a while, but at least a very interesting one

ketamine - another sick drug that rules, but save it for a special occasion. don't try and go into the k-hole your first time

rule for psychedelics - you get one good strong trip a year and that's it, make it count, always opt for doing a bit more than a bit less. but don't make it a habit, otherwise you turn into a very stupid very annoying "hippy" style cliché and believe in ghosts, aliens, crap like that.

ok to try once prescription opiates/benzodiazepine (xanax), valium, this kind of shit - worth trying so you can go "holy shit, this stuff is way way way too good to ever use responsibly" and then never do again. especially if you're white. for some reason we just can't handle this shit. if a doctor prescribes it to you, idk, that's your call to make.

ayhuasca - this is just dmt in a different form. do some other psychadelics a number of times before you do this. once you realize the whole "substantial visual hallucinations" thing is made up, its time. do exactly this: -buy root online (legal). receive box of dirt -boil dirt into "tea" (read erowid for exact recipe) -take over-the-counter anti nausea medicine or anything that will give you a stronger stomach -drink tea (its nasty as fuck, get it down quick) -have someone bigger than you keep an eye on you for the next five hours. -have the experience, which is absurdly intense, has no bearing to the real world, etc etc. don't be a bitch and throw up, if you do it'll only last an hour or so. again there is no way to provide a consistent description of the experience except that you will meet god. you only ever need to do this once and never again. trust me

peyote/salvia/etc - try em if you want, you'll never ever want to again afterwords. these are drugs for idiot teenagers too lame to get real drugs. imagine being very very sick from poison and utterly terrified at the same time. No good

whippets/nitrous oxide - just find a dentist that uses it and don't bother creating hundreds of pounds of trash on your floor for this crap that lasts ten seconds. you have to understand the extremely short timeframe coupled with the cost makes zero sense. go to a phish concert parking lot and do some people watching -- you do not want to be these people. only use is as a motivator to get routine dental exam. also if you somehow manage to make it a heavy habit your fucking legs stop working, no shit, but they start working again once you quit.

don't ever do heroin/meth/pcp - is is truly a mystery why you should never do these 🙄

synthetic weed/k2/shit from the gas station - it is so funny that they sell this as "weed that won't pop you on a drug test". its not weed. it is some dubious chemical sprayed on yard waste. smoke it to have a terrible time and go nuts. only buy drugs from legitimate drug dealers!

kratom - anyone's guess as to why this is legal but it's heroin for pussies. its still heroin

dxm/cough syrup - do you ever wonder why it is exclusively teenagers robotripping? it's because it sucks ass. is like a cheesegrater on your brain in terms of health effects with repeated usage. you're better than this king

inhalants - these are at the bottom of the list for a reason. do not huff gas. don't huff paint. do not consume computer duster. not fun + fastest way to make yourself a complete, uh, (word i can't say anymore) and then dead

not listed quaaludes- unavailable due to no longer being manufactured. these ruled apparantly

sincis2c - unavailable due to not existing, i just made this up

amphetamines - cannot provide objective take here. they're my albatross, lifelong (posted 4:55am natch)

[exhaslo]

Hi! Could I ask for a short request if you have the time? I'm just imagining reader in Corruption getting pregnant with twins and Miguel just goes crazy for it. She's too tired to do much - because she's quite small and fragile - but he just follows her around and is just always finding ways to touch her and kiss her and just admire her body because it's become so obediant to him that it's produced two babies in one go?! 😱

I just want to see Corruption Miguel absolutely whipped for his pregnant little wife 😍.

Omg Villain!Miguel will go nuts! Also, LOVING the love that Villain!Miguel is getting!!

Warning: None, just fluff, twisted thoughts, manipulation

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes! Yes! Yes!

The moment that Lyla, not you, announced that you were pregnant was the best day in Miguel's life.

Miguel was sure to always have your states on his watch, making sure that you were always healthy. Lyla was your nurse, to a point, always checking up on you and reporting to Miguel. Miguel was not going to lose this chance.

Miguel was always with you for every doctor visit. The mad scientist himself, needed to understand the process of child birth. Miguel made sure to get the best doctor in the city to watch and care for you.

When it was time for your ultrasound, Miguel was over the moon. His own eyes staring at the child in your belly. The child that he worked hard to create. The child that you were finally giving him.

"Oh, there is a second head. We have twins," The doctor hummed.

Miguel's eyes widen. Unable to control his excitement, he gave you a deep and passionate kiss. You were in a daze from the sudden kiss. Miguel withheld his laughter throughout the whole visit. By the time you got home, Miguel was all over you.

"Mhm~ Miggy~" You cooed. Miguel kept his hands against your waist, kissing your neck,

"My good girl. Such a obedient, perfect, girl. Giving me twins. I must reward you." Miguel hummed. You felt your face fluster as you couldn't help but smile,

"It's just our luck~"

"No. Your body was made for me. Wants to prove how much it loves me and my seed to give me twins,"

You whined, covering your face from embarrassment as Miguel kept showering you with kisses. This wasn't like him, but you were loving every second of it.

--------

Miguel was being so overprotected. He kept you at home, taking you out only when he cleared the city of every criminal. For once, Miguel was playing a hero, but only for you.

Miguel made sure that nothing came to your harm. Hell, he even killed and used those bodies as a warning to not ruin his day. You came first.

You always came first.

As the months flew by, your body was growing weak and tired. The pregnancy was draining you and constantly making you hungry.

Miguel was always prepared. He made sure that you always had everything you craved, gave you all the vitamins you needed, and even gave you massages.

His hands were always on you. Miguel wanted to make sure he could always feel you caring for his child. Whether it was giving you a foot massage or just touching your belly. Miguel was just excited to have twins.

You were giving him twins.

"Miguel...what about work?" You asked tiredly as you tried to get off the bed.

Miguel glanced up at you, carefully pulling you down. His head buried against your neck as he rubbed your belly. Soft kisses against your neck as he tried to feel the baby.

"You come first. The baby comes first," Miguel whispered, "Today is going to be about you."

"Awe, Miguel~" You cooed, "Can we...get breakfast first? I'm hungry,"

"Of course,"

Miguel was careful to help you up, staring at your large belly. His lips twitched into a smirk as he saw the babies kick. His hands roaming your stomach, wanting to feel. You were carrying the future of humanity.

"Hehe, who would have thought you'd be so loving~" You chuckled, putting your hands against his, "I'm a little jealous~"

"Don't be. Once our children are born, I'll be sure to give you more attention. How else are we to give them siblings?"

"Eep! Miguel!" You whined, covering your face against his chest.

Miguel rubbed your back, finding you adorable. You had already agreed to carry as many children as possible for Miguel. You had to be a good girl and give him everything he wanted. He had to wait so long for this...

And you were going to give it to him.

-------

When it was time for you to give birth, Miguel made arrangements to have the birth at his place. He hired the personal doctor and some nurses and got all of the equipment that they needed.

It was too risky to have you give birth at a hospital. Miguel didn't want to risk anything happening to his children or you. With all the enemies he had...Miguel made sure to keep you a secret.

"Ah!!" You cried out.

Holding your hand, Miguel watched as the doctors helped you. Your grip was tight, it almost hurt. If Miguel were a normal human then you might have broken his hand. Oh, how great it was to have you give birth to his babies.

His super human babies.

Listening to you crying as you pushed, Miguel tried to comfort you. After a few more pushes, you were a panting mess as the room was filled with crying.

"That's my girl," Miguel kissed your head, more focused on the twins.

The doctors and nurses cleaned the two babies before giving them to both you and Miguel. Miguel's eyes sparkled as he stared at the two crying children. You were laughing tiredly,

"Look, Miguel. Our babies~" You cheered. Miguel gave you an honest smile, placing the two children in a special crib,

"Yes. Our babies. Now rest."

Dismissing everyone, Miguel finished taking care of you. He cleaned the bed and everything and washed you. You were sleeping soundly beside the crib with your two children. Miguel stroked your hair, staring at the twins.

"This is only the beginning, (Y/N)."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you enjoyed!!!!

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Sam, Interrupted

Welcome to “Dean’s Love of Pudding Knows No Mental Health Bounds: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e11: Sam, Interrupted.

An old hunter friend, who is suffering from hunting PTSD and currently resides in a mental hospital, calls the boys in to investigate a string of weird deaths in the joint. In order to gain full access, Sam and Dean decide to get themselves admitted (it’s not hard; they just tell the truth about their lives). As they try to track down the monster preying on the patients, they both start having their own mental breakdowns. Turns out it's because the monster can turn you crazy with a single touch, and she likes the taste of crazy brain juice best. Ew. After a couple of red herrings, the boys figure out that it’s the nurse from the beginning of the episode who’s the monster in disguise, and they have to fight her while hopped up on her crazy-making toxins. They win out in the end, though, of course, and then have a brotherly heart-to-heart (as much as Winchesters can do so) over the hood of Baby at the end.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Lor:

gonna feed this psychiatrist to the monster

ooo, he's serious, you can tell because he took off his glasses

 Mace: 

HAHAHA YES

welp, that’s not how you do that, but okay

 Lor: 

LOL

DOCTOR BABAR

 Mace: 

HAHAHAHA

 Lor: 

"I don't have any elephant books"

DEAN

 Mace: 

HAHAHAHA

I LOVE that he just… tells the truth

 Lor: 

"probably bc I started the apocalypse"

YES

it's so good

"and this one angel"

 Mace: 

one of my top 5 favorite tropes: tell the truth freely because you know no one will believe you

 Lor: 

YESYES

"no no, his name's Castiel. he wears a trench coat"

 Mace: 

super Plautine and super awesome

HAHAHAHA

 Lor: 

and then Dean comes in with "I wish he'd let this guilt go it wasn't HIS fault"

NOT HOW THIS WORKS

 Mace: 

YAS

omg SAM KEEP YOUR PANTS ON

 Lor: 

RIGHT?

nnngggg v-neck tshirts

 Mace: 

YAS

 Lor: 

oh, Sammy, honey. maybe he's talking to someone else

 Mace: 

“watch me” DEAN WINCHESTER

 Lor: 

YAAAAS

yep, Martin, those are indeed some of the possibilities

if they have had 5 suicides they should be SHUT DOWN

 Mace: 

he’s adorable

YUP

god, they look so snuggly in those robes

 Lor: 

RIGHT?

 Mace: 

omg Dean looks LOST

 Lor: 

travesty that we didn't get to see them in jimjams more often

HE DOES

 Mace: 

YES

 Lor: 

this is the only thing this doctor gets right, their codependence

 Mace: 

AGREED

 Lor: 

omg I seriously want to kick him in the shins

 Mace: 

SAME

 Lor: 

I COULD RUN GROUP BETTER THAN HIM

 Mace: 

HAHAHA

 Lor: 

Dean Winchester is the least narcissistic person in the history of time

 Mace: 

omg the hannibal reference DEAN

   Lor: 

"I gotta sleep sometime so somewhere in the mid50s" oh honey

I LOVE how he answers her and then shoots a question right back

 Mace: 

YES

 Lor: 

omg his dumb hands in his dumb pockets

YES

 Mace: 

she’s being WAY too flirty to be even remotely professional

 Lor: 

yeeeeah

 Mace: 

YES

 Lor: 

"thraped" DEAN

 Mace: 

DEAN SHE IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE LEAVE HER BE

 Lor: 

"you CANNOT hit that" listen to your brother, Dean. you know you would feel like crap after

 Mace: 

YEP

 Lor: 

OMG THOSE TSHIRTS

 Mace: 

WHITE TSHIRTS OMG

 Lor: 

is a puddle

THEIR ARMS

 Mace: 

their ARMS FUUUCK

 Mace: 

HAHAHAHA

 Lor: 

OMG DUDE I LOVE US

 Mace: 

YES

oh ewewewewew

 Lor: 

GROSS

omg Dean's little "I'm not doing nothin" pose

 Mace: 

JEsus, Sam GROSS 

YES

 Lor: 

SUPRASTERNAL NOTCH MY BELOVED

PUDDING

 Mace: 

YESYESYES

 Lor: 

"crazy works" oh jeez

they're voluntarily committed, so they should be able to call Bobby

 Lor: 

grumbles in was married to a psychiatrist

 Mace: 

SNORK

 Lor: 

it makes me NUTS

 Mace: 

maybe they’re avoiding it because they know he’d yell at them for committing themselves just for a case

pun intended?

 Lor: 

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes, yes, of course, definitely on purpose

HA! he sure would

"whole wide world of sports"

 Mace: 

oh, Dean, honey

 Lor: 

RIGHT?

but again, telling the truth. he's NOT WRONG holds him

 Mace: 

yep

 Lor: 

"it's a good question." HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO RETIRE WITH CAS AT A LAKEHOUSE

 Mace: 

YEP

hey now look you crazy bitch

 Mace: 

“he’s larger” omg

 Lor: 

"he's larger" haaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

"you've had worse" DEAN

 Mace: 

interesting that Dean goes all huddly in the corner and Sammy gets violent

 Lor: 

ooooooh

it IS

"you look like hell, boy"

 Mace: 

YES

“crazy’s the clue”

 Lor: 

YEP

 Mace: 

“WHAT WHERE?!” HAHAHAHA

 Lor: 

HAAAAAHAHAHA

JENSEN the insanity and then the humor

 Mace: 

YESYESYES

 Mace: 

he is SO GOOD

 Lor: 

ten bucks says the not stepping on the cracks business was Jensen's idea

 Mace: 

HA

 Lor: 

it just feels like actor bit of business rather than writing to me

 Mace: 

yeah

 Lor: 

gotta do it scared, DeanDean

 Mace: 

YEP

you KNOW John made him kill monsters scared when he was little, so it’s not like he hasn’t done it before

 Lor: 

poor Sam. he ends up in this position an awful lot

YEP

 Mace: 

sigh

 Lor: 

"kinda made you easy to spot"

 Mace: 

HAHA

he’s not crazy, hag

she sure makes a big show of sticking her spiky thing out

 Lor: 

EW

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 Mace: 

um, those doors would be locked, no?

 Lor: 

well SOME door should have been locked. maybe not the exit doors, but

 Mace: 

oh, healthy advice, Dean. JFC

Sammy just needs a healthy… outlet.

I could help him there.

 Lor: 

RIGHT? but it's like part of the tragedy of them, right? they kind of DO have to just keep going

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 Mace: 

well sure, but they could telehealth some therapy too

 Lor:

LOL

Cas should have made them go. all like, "I have been researching human mental health, and I am... concerned. Dean. Do you ever engage in "self-care.""

Mace:

HAHAHAHA YES

[the-name-is-z]

SKELETONS | ch. 6

daryl dixon x f!oc

masterlist

a03 link

Summary: Dr. Jenner shares his views of the world with the group, and they find it imperative not only to disagree, but to escape. Warnings/Information: AMC's The Walking Dead OC Insert | 18+ Advised | strangers to lovers; the slowest of slow burns; gore; angst; horror; humour; m/f; descriptions of explosion, violence, threat of violence, suicide, entrapment, ethical arguments

Chapter 6 - Time Runs Out

“The basement generators— they run out of fuel.” Jenner replied simply.

“And then?” Rick asked, dejected. Jenner didn’t answer, making for the doorway. “Vi, what happens when the power runs out?”

“When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur.” 

“No thanks. I’m not interested.” Iris stated, glancing around at her companions. “I’m going to find the generators.”

“Let’s go.” Rick agreed. Iris followed a map left on the hallway wall, Rick, Shane, T-Dog and Glenn following down further and deeper underground.

“Decontamination? What does that mean?” Glenn asked worriedly.

“I don’t like the way Jenner clammed up.” Shane grumbled. “The way he just wandered off like that?”

“I had a bad feeling about this place.” Iris muttered.

“What’s wrong with him? Seriously, man, is he nuts? Medicated, what?” T-Dog asked.

“He’s not crazy. He’s just given up.” Iris replied, shoving open a heavy metal door. Shane and Rick held up their flashlights before the motion sensors flicked on the overhead lights. The room was filled with drums of fuel, haphazardly left on carts, likely from when Jenner set them up.

Shane and Rick went to one side while Iris, Glenn and T-Dog went the other direction. Pipes, wires and electrical panels filled the room, large stickers warning that it was all flammable.

“You know what it reminds me of?” Iris muttered, brushing her hand over a wire panel.

“What?” Glenn asked.

“A time bomb.” She replied simply. He and T-Dog exchanged a look as they explored. The lights went out, save for a few small bulbs against the walls.

“Emergency lighting on.”

“What the hell?” Shane’s voice carried. They ran to meet each other, finding Rick and Shane next to a fuel barrel hooked up to the generator.

“It’s preparing to shut down.” Iris grimaced. “Power conservation.”

“Anything?” Rick asked.

“Yeah. A lot of dead generators and more empty fuel drums than I can count.” T-Dog replied.

“Rick, look, I don’t think we should waste any more time. We should get out while we still can.” Iris said quietly, looking between him and Shane. They glanced at one another.

“It can’t be down to just this one.” Shane muttered, shining the light on the empty fuel dial. 

“We have 45 minutes.” Iris stated, checking her watch. “Rick—“

“Let’s go.” He agreed. They all raced back upstairs, sprinting down the hallways.

Everyone poked their heads out of their rooms at the sudden shut down and Jenner walked down the hallway, wearing a suit and a lab coat. He gripped a whiskey bottle tightly in his fist. Daryl’s voice carried as he chewed out the doctor, everyone waiting for some sort of explanation. Desperate for him to deny what they were all thinking.

“Rick?” Lori called as they ran into the main room. Jenner walked down the stairs and the group followed.

“Jenner, what’s happening?” Rick pleaded, gesturing for the group to stay put.

“The system is dropping all the nonessential uses of power.” He explained. “It’s designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule.” He took a large swig of whiskey.

“Okay, you all need to grab your things. Pack. We have to go.” Iris whispered, urging them back to the stairs.

“What? What are you talking about?” Carol asked, frowning.

“You heard her. Come on, let’s move.” Shane urged. Jenner turned, offering the whiskey back to Daryl, who snatched it from his hands.

“It was the French.” Jenner mused.

“What?”

“They were the last ones to hold out, as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end.” He explained. “They thought they were close to a solution.”

“What happened?” Jacqui asked.

“The same thing that’s happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?” He laughed.

“Let me tell you—“ Shane jumped up, lunging at him.

“To hell with it, Shane. I don’t even care.” Rick snapped. “Lori, grab our things. Everyone, get your stuff. We’re getting out of here, now!” They finally lurched into action, ducking down the hallways in a hurry. Everyone stopped as a loud alarm blared over the speakers.

“What the hell is that?” Iris hissed.

“Thirty minutes to decontamination.”

“Doc, what’s going on here, man?” T-Dog pleaded.

“Everyone! Y’all heard Rick, y’all heard Iris, now you’re hearing me. Get your stuff and let’s go! Go now! Go!” Shane yelled. The door to the room slid shut with a pressurized hiss and Iris drew her knife on the scientist.

“Did you just lock us in? He just locked us in!” Glenn cried.

“Open the fucking door.” She warned, holding the blade to his neck. He shook his head, turning on one of the terminals with a webcam.

“We’ve hit the 30-minute window. I am recording—“

“You son of a bitch! You locked us in here!” Daryl screamed, lunging at him. Shane and T-Dog tore him away.

“Unlock the door. Please.” Iris begged.

“There’s no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed.”

“Well, open the damn things!” Daryl snapped.

“That’s not something I control, the computers do.” Jenner shook his head again. “I told you. Once that front door closed, it wouldn’t open again. You heard me say that.”

“You son of a bitch.” Iris muttered, sheathing her knife. 

“It’s better this way.” He insisted.

“What is?” Rick asked, tilting his head with a snarl. “What happens in twenty-eight minutes?” Jenner refused to answer, turning back to the computer. “What happens in twenty-eight minutes?”

“You know what this place is?” Jenner cried, standing abruptly. “We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don’t want getting out! Ever!” He paused, wiping a hand over his face and sitting back down. “In the event of a catastrophic power failure, a terrorist attack, for example, H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.”

“H.I.T.s?” Rick asked.

“Vi, define.”

“H.I.T.s, high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between five thousand and six thousand degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.”

“It sets the air on fire.” Jenner stated. “No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, regret, everything.”

“You’ve condemned us.” Iris muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. “You want me to speak in your language, you depressed, philosophical bullshit motherfucker? You’ve condemned us. Obliterated any chance we might have had. Any hope left. Hell won’t suffice for this act of murder. Of damnation.” Jenner huffed a laugh, nodding. Daryl cried out in frustration, chucking the whiskey bottle at the steel barrier.

“Open the damn door!” He yelled.

“Out of my way!” Shane cried, running at the door with an axe intended for emergency escape in the event of a fire. Not this. T-Dog tossed another up at Daryl, the two of them striking the door with brute force. Sparks rained as they pounded against the door. The children were crying into their mother’s chests, huddled against the wall as they waited for the clock to count down. Iris shoved a hand into her pocket, pulling out the tattered patch she kept there, running her fingers over it.

“You should have left well enough alone. It would have been so much easier.” Jenner muttered to himself as he sat at the desk. Dale walked over to him. If anyone could appeal to someone’s better nature, it would be him.

“Easier for who?” Lori asked.

“All of you. You know what’s out there. A short, brutal life and an agonizing death. Your- your sister. What was her name?” Jenner asked Andrea.

“Amy.”

“Amy. You know what this does. You’ve seen it.” He turned to Rick. “Is that really what you want for your wife and son?”

“I don’t want this.” Rick replied emphatically.

“Can’t make a dent.” Shane huffed, tossing the axe to the side. Jenner rolled his eyes.

“Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher.” He stated.

“Well your head ain’t!” Daryl screamed, throwing himself at the doctor with the axe. Dale, Rick and Shane shoved themselves between them, keeping Daryl back. The doctor didn’t even flinch from his seat.

“You do want this.” He told Rick. “Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead.” They all stopped, everyone going silent.

“What, you really said that? After all your big talk?” Shane asked, narrowing his eyes at Rick.

“I feel as if we all are not prioritizing, here.” Iris threw her hands up.

“I had to keep hope alive, didn’t I?” Rick defended.

“There is no hope. There never was.” Jenner said pointedly.

“There’s always hope.” Rick snapped. “Maybe it won’t be you, maybe not here, but somebody. Somewhere.”

“What part of 'everything is gone’ do you not understand?” Andrea asked.

“Listen to your friend.” Jenner implored. “She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event.”

“Just because you sorry assholes have given up doesn’t give you the right to take that choice away from someone else.” Iris snapped. “From all of us.”

“This isn’t right.” Carol sobbed. “You can’t just keep us here!”

“One, tiny moment.” Jenner shook his head. “A millisecond. No pain.”

“My daughter doesn’t deserve to die like this!” Carol cried.

“Wouldn’t it be kinder? More compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?” Jenner asked. Dale gaped at him. Shane cocked his shotgun, moving toward the doctor.

“Shane, no!”

“Out of the way, Rick!” He aimed the shotgun between Jenner’s eyes. “Open that door. Or I’m gonna blow your head off, do you hear me?”

“Not much of a threat when he’s waiting to die.” Iris muttered, moving to the control panel he punched the numbers into. Some code would unlock the door. All he had to do was tell them the numbers. Shane yelled in frustration, unloading the shotgun into a few terminals and the lights in the ceiling. Everyone ducked while Rick pried the gun from his hands, knocking him to the floor.

“Are you done now? Are you done?”

“Yeah, I guess we all are.” Shane hissed. There was a long silence while everyone listened to the quiet thrumming of the generator. 

“I think you’re lying.” Rick accused.

“What?” Jenner asked, narrowing his eyes.

“About no hope. If that were true, you’d have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn’t. You chose the hard path, why?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?”

“Not because I wanted to.” Jenner said firmly. “I made a promise to her. My wife.” He said, pointing to the screen.

“Test Subject 19 was your wife?” Lori asked, mouth opening in shock. Daryl walked back to the door and started hitting it with the axe again. The loud thuds echoing through the room ominously.

“She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?” He continued. “She was dying. It should have been me on that table. I wouldn’t have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was an Einstein. Me, I’m just… Edwin Jenner. She could have done something about this. Not me.”

“Your wife didn’t have a choice.” Rick said slowly. “You do. That’s… that’s all we want. A choice. A chance.”

“Let us keep trying as long as we can.” Lori pleaded, clutching Carl close. Jenner sighed.

“I told you, topside’s locked down. I can’t open those.” He walked over to the keypad, meeting Iris’ gaze as he typed the code in, scanning his card. The steel blast door slid open and Daryl dropped the axe.

“Come on!” He yelled. Four minutes and thirty seconds.

“Let’s go! Come on, let’s go!” Glenn yelled.

“Move it! Move it!”

“There’s your chance. Take it.” Jenner said.

“I’m grateful.” Rick replied.

“The day will come when you won’t be.” He looked at Rick sympathetically, with pity, but Iris felt nothing but disdain for the man. She brushed past him as she sprinted for the door.

“Let’s go. Let’s go, Jacqui.” T-Dog ushered her toward to door.

“No, I’m staying. I’m staying, sweetie.”

“That’s insane!”

“No, it’s completely sane. For the first time in a long time. I’m not ending up like Jim and Amy. There’s no time to argue. And no point, not if you want to get out. Just get out. Get out.” She pleaded, putting her hands on either side of his face. 

“I’m staying too.” Andrea said solemnly.

“Andrea, no!” Dale called. She turned away, sitting down and waiting. “Just go, go!” He stayed behind in hopes of convincing her, but Iris was unsure. Dale would be a loss to the group, but since Amy, Andrea didn’t seem like she had much left.

Iris kept her grip on her emotions as they ran up the stairwell. She had everything important on her person as they threw themselves into the doors. Daryl and Shane attacked the windows with the axes. T-Dog grabbed a chair. Shane even tried the shotgun, but the glass held.

“Rick, I have something that might help.” Carol called, fishing in her purse.

“Carol, I don’t think a nail file’s gonna do it.” Shane grumbled.

“Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket.” She explained. She pulled out a hand grenade and Iris’ eyes went wide.

“Holy shit.” She muttered.

“Look out!” T-Dog yelled as Rick grabbed the grenade. They all took cover as he pulled the pin, released the trigger and ran. It exploded, the single pane of glass shattering with the impact. 

They all ducked out of the window, sprinting across the courtyard toward the caravan of vehicles. Everything was still there, including the walkers littering the lawn. They didn’t bother with the noise, using their guns to take care of any in their way. Iris practically dove into the truck beside Daryl as he chucked the axe into the back. They turned forward only to see Andrea and Dale running out of the building at the last moment.

There was a breath of silence before the explosion wracked their bodies. Daryl and Iris ducked below the dashboard. It was the loudest thing Iris had ever heard, the wave of head blowing outward across the courtyard, the roads. The building crumpled like paper, the entire thing falling inward on itself and deep underground. There was rubble and debris of course, and fire. But nothing was left. Daryl blew out a breath as the flames loomed ahead of them, the air burning just like Jenner explained.

Iris huffed, panting as she leaned her forehead on the dashboard. Daryl shook his head as he put the truck into gear and followed the RV, the van, the Jeep and Carol’s station wagon down the road.

[stra-tek]

Yet another excerpt from I Survived Kirk, my forthcoming fanfic autobiog from the POV of a bitter redshirt on Kirk's crew

I’m going to step outside the usual retelling of events in a vaguely chronological order here to talk about hypotheticals in a particularly vague manner.  Perhaps I’m just making up bollocks to sell more copies of my book, or maybe I’m dancing around subjects that were deemed “no no” by Starfleet Command.  You decide.

The Vulcan Science Directorate determined that time travel was impossible, centuries ago.  That’s what they claimed, at lest, and what they drilled into generations of Vulcans.  “It’s not possible.  We tried it.  You don’t need to try it, just take or word for it.”

WHAT IF… what if… it were possible?  Some of you might have heard of Zefram Cochrane’s legendary drunken rant and rave at Princeton, about cybernetic creatures from the future attempting to interrupt his warp flight.  What if he was telling the truth?  Maybe the Vulcans were lying because the implications of time travel being possible could be devastating.  Or perhaps they were just plain wrong?

So… strictly hypothetically, if time travel WERE possible… surely some of the ancient aliens we know of would have discovered it too, yes?  They’d probably have perfected means of using it.  And used it repeatedly, to go anywhere and anywhen in time and space.  Probably for all the reasons any of us would want to use it today.  Changing things.  Big things, like maybe the equivalent of stopping Hitler or Green, or preventing the Xindi attack or the Romulan war, or small things like saving a loved one or completely trivial things like getting to see a famous concert.

Which opens up yet another quantum fuckton of worms. How would you feel about finding out the life you live is in some kind of heavily modified timeline?  The whole word you now is the result of someone else fucking with the universe?  Perhaps things are better than they might be otherwise.  Or maybe it’s much, much worse.  You don’t know, you never will and it’s something you had no input in. You’re not who you’re supposed to be, but some weird alternate you that exists as the result of some douchnozzles tampering with something, somewhere. Even little tiny things can have massive consequences.  Imagine for a second, your Dad was doing something important, heard a suspicious noise outside (our hypothetical time traveller running through your yard) and your Mum’s the worrying type so she made him check it out, he never finished what he was doing.  What was the important thing he doing?  YOUR MUM and because he didn’t you were never conceived.  Imagine every life you’ve affected.  Even if you REALLY don’t matter, even if you have no friends and never had sex with anything other than your left hand and are the biggest failure ever.  Even then, you’ve slightly impacted the day of your schoolteachers, or your doctors or even random passers-by have looked your way and either seen or not seen something that had a similar crazy spiralling effect on their lives. It’s called The Butterfly Effect, named after some theory or other that a butterfly fluttering its wings can cause some kind of wind-related chain reaction that ends in a hurricane somewhere else.

So maybe, due to obscure and completely unpredictable effects of ancient aliens altering events in time, your life might not be what it should.  Does that bother anyone else?  It drives me nuts.  It makes my skin crawl.  Fuck whoever the hell it was who may have affected history on their planet or maybe even mine which rippled through time and made my life different to how it should be.  What would the universe be like if none of this happened?  And what’s it going to become when more and more aliens figure it out and start doing all the bad things?  What happens when we figure it out?  Once there was a Basic State, a history untampered with.  Am I a better person there?  Worse?  More or less successful?  Am I happier there?  Was I even born, or are my parents meeting off-chance knock-on effect of one of these tamperings?

[venacoeurva]

fuck it I’m not tired, we’re wrenposting have some more (rambling) info on him. Misc stuff, some are kind of zesty

He can play the lute, but doesn’t do it often. Enjoys sea shanties.

Called Hircine dad on accident multiple times

His combat style is very acrobatic, he relies on a lot of momentum and interrupting attacks ( getting enemies to stagger, locking their joints, or jamming it weapon angle with his spear). He’s also used his spear like how people used poleaxes to propel themselves. Good chance he’ll swing down from something and either kick you in the face or leap on you and use his weight and momentum to throw you to the ground and stab you on the way down.

He knows some really weird and specific spells because that’s the perk of dating various mostly weird (often evil) wizards. Even his objectively not evil boyfriend from right before MW (Who, if asked and if she had knowledge of him, Erveasa would say was a bit of a bore with a lack of bloodthirst made his relationship with Wren basically doomed) was a restoration mage doing things like testing (weak) thunder magic combined with healing together to see how it woud effect tissue. One of his spells he taught Wren is the one that he used to heal his own slit neck during the assassination attempt and later his leg. Idk he likes weird dudes and it’s mostly been to his benefit (usually) as it turns out. I put “questionable taste in men” on every reference I make for him for a reason

Is a light sadomasochist, and is delighted when he has partners into this and (given his job I should need to add: consensual) situations arise (he doesn’t get off this way on his jobs, he just fucks em normally--big difference. The act of killing has nothing with him being able to get off, sex on the job is just a perk and method he uses since it works.)

Looks scrawny but has a lot of gradually accumulated lean muscle that’s not defined

Goes out on hunts with the Frostmoon pack regularly and sometimes brings up supplies from town. Usually comes back home soaked in blood and only wearing the pants he left in (why ruin his clothes?). Stopped being jarring for everyone in the house after a while. The presence of werebears also roaming in packs and the fact he goes out there alone with people who also aren’t notably powerful and a somewhat small number tends to make Teldryn antsy (despite Wren’s character and mw canon 10,000 health lol) and he finds himself staying up and waiting for him to get back (but will claim the book he’s reading is just so engrossing that he didn’t keep track of time, what a coincidence...) (Wren is well aware of why he’s doing that--too bad they’re terrible talking about their feelings if they can’t turn it into Jokes they quickly move on from)

Displays some canine behaviors once a werewolf. Tilting his head while listening is a big one.

He also eats a lot, but way more since becoming a werewolf (that form burns a LOT of calories). He doesn’t really put on any weight, he’s never really been able to after a certain point (which isn’t necessarily a good thing...). He’s like that one kid who got kicked out of a CiCi’s for going nuts on the pizza because his doctor told him to eat like crazy. He’s occasionally come back from hunts ready for a food coma and/or with a killer stomach ache

Do not grab his neck in the front, he will freak out and avoid you after. If for some reason you gotta grab the back of his neck in like a medical scenario or something then that’s fine. Tied to the assassination attempt on him

Additionally, grabbing his waist or hips makes things awkward...or sexy, depending on the context. Don’t do it if you aren’t intending to turn him on, or make him uncomfortable--if you do you’ll get stabbed. He wears things around it to mitigate the sensation and just make it more likely you’ll grab his scarf belt thing and not his actual body.

Gets bitey if he’s overstimulated. Fidgets a lot.

He does not let himself cry. Like at all. If he gets sad he just loses all affect and goes quiet. When Needle died that dam broke. Happened again in the 4th era too but it was like relieved crying and not “my pet who I raised from a baby was the only thing here for me is dead and also I have one fully functional arm, I lost my family’s dagger in a volcano, and almost bled to death like 2 days ago in the aforementioned volcano” (Almalexia healed his arm as the blessing you get from her--perfectly functional, but still scarred. Maybe a symbolism thing, maybe because it was already healing but WOULD scar regardless, whatever it was)

Surprisingly cuddly despite his trust issues. Cuddling isn’t a purely romantic thing for him either, he’ll do it platonically as well. He can and will splay himself across you somehow (if you’re cool with it)

He’s good with kids, but after caring for other younger orphans with the others his age range and older, he’s had enough with that kind of thing and has no drive to have any himself. Also he knows he’d be a terrible parent. Great babysitter and other very short term arrangements, but your kid might come back knowing incinerate, though. Occasionally watches Dusk and Kharjo’s kid (Dusk’s first kid is around college age, so he doesn’t need to be babysat)

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. doesn't like the heat but like spicy foods honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😅

Aw see look who the old lady now hahaha just kidding. 😂 yeah I had to do some cleaning and it was so quiet cause I can't play the music too loud or it'll wake up my neighbors.

I'm feeling a bit better. I had a bagel but I ran out of cream cheese...So I used peanut butter instead.

That sounds tedious. Too much laundry can be so overwhelming lol but are you done with rearranging the living room and her room?

Wait what... 8 patties on the burger???? How can someone even fit that in their mouth! So he making business, if someone gets a heart problem he can also give them a diagnosis hahaha that's crazy.

Yeah, when it is over 100 here, I am not going out at all. I cannot stand the heat in Nebraska. It is too dry then sometimes since our weather changes a lot, if it rains the night before, the next day will be hot and humid all day long.

That is a good idea, to spend time with grandma during the summer. Plus it is in California where it has Disneyland. I'm not sure which park will have it, but I heard they're opening a Nintendo world! So that's going to be exciting.

I'm not really sure what I'll be doing for summer since I am using all my paid time off for March when I go to the Philippines. Going with my mom to see my grandma haha 😌

Any exciting plans for your birthday? Do you celebrate big or just a simple dinner?

- CuriousGeorge

Hi corn-punn!

How r u? Hows ur day so far?

Sorry for the late reply, i was a little down last night n not in the mood to talk so i went to bed early. But i feel better now, just cramp from my period.

Also i started my intermitten fasting diet again. So i'm hungry too.lol. im doing 18h fasting.

Haha yeah yeah i get it. Im the old one..but remember u r just a few years younger than me, so u r considered old too 🤣🤣🤣

Yeah too much laundry sometimes makes me claustrophobic.i havent got the chance to really rearrange stuff.

Haha yeah 8 patties.it's crazy.. i dont know if he is a real doctor or just a rumor.😅

Ah i cant with heat n humidity. Thats my problem living here in oklahoma. I have live with humidity in my whole life.. n here is humid but hotter. So right now im enjoying the cold. Lol.

The nintendo world is in universal studio park. I saw it in instagram, it looks okay.. i really wanna go to the Avatar world in walt disney world florida though.. it's one of my dream.

Oh so u will go to philipine this march or u already went last march?

U remember when is my birthday?really?😆 i'm surprised.

I dont have plan yet for my birthday.😁 my father in law's girlfriend is coming to visit.

I never really celebrate my birthday anymore. The last big celebration for my birthday was on my 30th, on a cruise. 😅

Next question?

Cheerio!

[sugarakis-p2]

Mommy needs me! Ch 5

1100 followers and getting off my a$$ special

You inherited to your Aunts farm after she passed from cancer. But you don’t know also inherited giant Mothman-manchild, who is pissing and jizzing everywhere in your house.

Warning: Yandere Mothman Shigaraki, bondage, offensive language, violence, mommy kink, references to knotting and drug use

It's time to leave. Shigaraki he finds the smells changing annoying and met his personal goals. Getting his sweet mommy knocked up, creating the perfect conditions for an awakening and an escape. Things get strange for you. Everyone is catching a cold. You have an out of body experience. But aside from that you just want to leave.

Ch 4 < Previous

Chapter 5

Shigaraki sniffed idly at the young girl.

She was starting to smell like him, and that was confusing. The girl's hair had turned white. Her eyes are red like his. A horn was growing. She stank of fear. Perplexing him more. IS she his offspring? She does not look or smell right quite right.

A primal part of him could not stand hearing and smelling his possible grub like this. He reaches out with an antenna and chirps reassurance. The girl whimpered in more fear. He trills. Making the gentle friendly noises that lured in plenty of rivals. He fluffed his fur ruff, releasing more of his dust that carried his scent on the child. She is family and a female, if nothing else. The blonde one that feeds him giggles somewhere behind him.

"See, I told you. Isn't he cute?" Toga giggled again.

"Yeah, adorable for a murderous freak of nature. You are insane, Toga! I love you!" Jin Shouted as he made sure the restraints on Shigaraki were secure.

Tomura didn't resist since this was the day he got to see you, his mate. The child mumbled something about, "soft and tickles." He gave the simpering child one last cuddle before his muzzle was put on, and he was guided away. He didn't resist until he felt they were not heading towards you. 

He growled and flapped his wings in agitation. Hot pain traveled down his back. Shigaraki snarled in pain of his mangled clipped wings. His wings will heal, but the red-hot pain that keeps him awake will not be forgotten. He vowed to get that arrogant bastard. The two creeps, that barely remember to feed him, are taking him into some side room. One of them clicked some device and the Master's voice cut through his petty thoughts. He froze and listened closely to the recording.

"Tomura. We have missed you. Seems you have gone into the city and found trouble. These two will help you escape. After you destroy all the research, data, and test subjects. It doesn't matter as long as it doesn't get into the hands of the government. We look forward to seeing you again. My child," Master ordered.

It has been years, but he would recognize this voice anywhere. My child, Master had called him that back then too. This was bad. He left the facility for a reason. That means Master is in his territory. Probably back at the facility. Which means he will have to kill Master. His offspring are in as much danger with Master as with Kai.

"Shoot. We'll have to kill the kid. She's so cute," Toga pouted.

"No, dumb. We will take. Stays in our hands. Take mate, child, and Fath...Doctor. I am in charge, and I want," Shigaraki growled. Both Toga and Jin jumped in surprise from him. He could feel the air shift and turned his head to talk to them directly, "I am leader. They are mine."

"IT CAN TALK!" they shrieked in unison.

He growled for them to shut up. Once the initial shock wore off, they were back to their insane selves. He could smell it. They are not right. They smell very faint of him. Normal humans can't smell it, but he can. He is spreading. How can Kai be a genius and a fool? He wonders and tweedled crazy and tweedled nuts. They agreed to take him to his mate.

Shigaraki doesn't use his nose on his face as much as he uses his feelers. The moment his mommy's scent hit his antennae, he knew. Your hormones caught on his antennae and the scent of spicy ginger and earth moss. Your smell sent a tingle down his spine, making his dick stiff and throbbing. 

One good whiff, and he knew you were pregnant. Still too early to be sure you won't lose the little blueberry. That does not matter to his instincts. He can already tell the size of it, the smell, and the warmth of blood flowing to your abdomen. The rapid thud of a chamber opening and closing. Now is the time. He is not fully healed, but the adrenaline will give Shigaraki enough of a boost to finish what he started. Hopefully an awakening. 

You gasp and run to him. Coddling him while he focuses on you entirely. More mating will reinforce his nature to protect. He could already feel himself getting strong enough to break the bonds if he desired. It was a storm inside him. 

A scent crawled into his senses. A faint smell that made him want to sneeze. Like a serpent, it slithered into his thoughts. Kai has been in you. Did you like it? Not possible. You are his! Another male trying to take what was his was beyond arrogant. It was asking for revenge. The kind that would never make them even. 

Mate. Take mate away. Nest and protect. No! No! Grab father. Weaken enemy. Deal with Kai and Master.  His mind screamed. He tried to ignore it and focus on the task of fucking your pretty little brains out. He lived for these moments. 

It's your own fault that you riled his suppressed instincts. Other mommy, your Aunt, had warned you. But you had not listened, so he will do what he was always meant to do. Fuck a tender pussy. Fuck until you knew that you were not meant for another. You will always be his.  

He leaned in and received a sharper scent.  Kai! Kai! Kai! All over you! Dirty damn slut! The filthy male didn't know his place! Doesn't know this is spelling his doom. My mate. Mine! So damn arrogant to think Kai could steal from him.  His mind raged and ranted while he pushed on you. Shoving his face between your spread thighs. 

"Come, Shiggy. I missed you, baby. It's ok," You reassured him in your soothing voice. A weariness hidden in the lower tones. Was that lowly neat freak torturing you again? The disgusting scent of rubber was all over you. Filthy, bitch, whore slut.  

A fouler thought occurred to him. Worse than Kai fucking you under his nose. Has he been pleasuring you? His mate will come. Oh, how his mommy will come on his knot and praise him for it. He grows bigger at the thought. He dug you into you like a meal. His meal to devour and keep with him always. He licked that little cunt that belonged to him.

"Please, baby. Be a good big boy and fuck mommy, ok. It's big boy time. I missed you so much," your voice hitched slightly at the end. To you, he looks too thin. Your sweet concern eased him back to your sweet cunt. 

Again, your smell is off in other ways. You are pretending to be happy with your words and touch. For his sake, he believes. Like a good mommy, you care for him. Just like any good mommy would consider him first. He has learned to push through your unhappy scent to do what Kai is keeping you alive to do.

 He lapped harder, getting your tight little cunt ready for his cock. You will milk all the cum from him because he is just that good. His tongue darted into your squeezing velvety walls to the whoops of pigs watching. He ignored them, enjoying the bittersweet flavor of you on his tongue.  

Did Kai ever make you cum with his disgusting small dick? His sterile seed depositing into you. His pathetic need to have everything to impress some daddy in a coma. He heard the rumors. Kia was disgustingly clinical about everything. He doubts Kai has pleasured you once. You are his dammit. He will thrust into those tight hot walls until his dumb mommy always remembers that you are his mommy.

The handlers helping him line up to your drooling hot cunt. He bucks hard and fast to be sheathed fully by your fluttering muscles. Your swollen clit pulsing as you mewled and squirmed under him. You have been teaching him what you like. It wasn't even that much outside of his base nature. It was fate. He was made to please you.

You drooled and whimpered as he pumped into your delicious walls. You squeezed and jerked on his excited cock. Close as you shuddered with desire. Oh, how you where are his good mommy. You cried at how much you loved it. Screamed at how you are meant to be one always. You like being knotted. His knotted sweet slut of a mommy loved him and more for it.

Your mouth turned into a surprised oh. Your eyes squeezed onto tight pain. He thrusted harder. The vice grip you have on his aching cock is pure pleasure. Pulling at the string of delight until he unravels. He cums hard as you pulse and milks his length. You are his. He will fuck until that foul scent is gone.

Drooling with his eyes rolling in the back of his head, Shigaraki lives in the moment. Shigaraki clung to the ecstasy of your shivering body as his throbbing knot was squeezing and releasing. Massaging and coxing every drop.

Kill his rival, and then fuck more. He liked that thought as he started to calm himself. Only he was unable to. The exchange of more hormones reinforced his primal urge to kill his competition. Shigaraki could feel it pumping through his blood. Already the restraints felt weaker. He nuzzled at the crook of your next. Cooing and purring louder than normal.

"Tomorrow," he whispered. He felt you stiffen around him. Shigaraki grunted in discomfort, then trilled loudly. Father should have told you the plan by now, he thought. The doubt that burrowed its way into his mind as you jerked added to the flood of the basic command taking over his mind.

It was a loud flapping of a thousand wings. An order that told him to secure his females at all costs. You and Father didn't have names or faces anymore. Both are a bundle of hormones in his mind that are the center focus of the world. He hears the screaming of the others in the room.

"He's getting bigger! Get the boss!" A male yelled. A male too close to his female. His female is out of the nest.

You  wish you could say that you are shocked. That you are afraid. That you felt anything emotionally. Physically your pussy throbbed with pleasure and a tint of deep ache. Your back has started healing and itching. The drugs and mental torture are taking their toll.

Kai has been worse since the first "breeding." Krono and Kai have upped their cruelty. Kronos gave you an overdose. You regret you woke up with a needle in your chest. It would have been better if you never woke up. Kai has nearly drowned you for lying about Shigaraki. Choking was Kai's favorite thing to do you.

You wore a wide dog collar. To cover the bruises while humiliating you in front of everyone who sees you. In large shiny lettering, dog fucker is easily seen. That was his personal insult to you. After he forced you to have sex with Shigaraki in front of an audience. Kai had pulled you aside to pressure hose you. Then he did something that shocked you for the last time.

Kai  whipped your ass black and blue. After the tears from the burning sting that he imprinted on your mind and round ass, you felt the switch inside you start to move.

"You liked fucking him! Like the slut cunt whore, you are. Disgusting." he said coldly from around his mask with another thwack, "You like an experiment fucking you. A freak. A created monster. A mistake cumming in you. He knots like a dog. That's what he is. A dog."

More painful whips. The switch slowly moved.

"I saw you enjoying that knot. A knot like a dog. Dog fucker. Whore dog fucker. Do you know who owes that dog? Do you know who owns you? Like your doggy lover? Whore. Cunt. Slut." He had said. Shoving his large rubbered length into your ass. It hurt beyond belief. You cried and squirmed in pain.

Not that squirming did you any good strapped to the surgical table. The chair was close by. The surgical chair was scary. He kept his tray of knives there. The pain as he entered you dry and unprepared flipped the switch completely. Kai hissed filthy insults at you. Seeing you shut down, Kai took the condom off and shoved his squirting head into your quivering asshole.

That shocked you. You had to be bleeding. Kai had to know what hole he had entered. The dirtiest of them all. This was the same man that scrubbed your gums raw to give  HIM  a blow job. Pumping his hips with a fever, he has not shown you before.

"Filthy, diseased dirty dog whore," Kai had panted. Feverishly gasping, working on his next orgasm as his fingers slowly cut off your air until the black closed in on the pain. When you woke up later, you are sore all over. Pain. Your skin hurts as if you have been scrubbed with sand.

You felt shame at first. But more ended up being more grateful to have the bruises covered by the collar. At least he wasn't harvesting your body for spare parts. Yet.

But the switch flipped in you that day. The one that left your body a million miles away to quiet the pain enough to continue. You still cried. You felt the pain long after it was over. But words took longer for you to understand.

That's  why when Shigaraki started to grow like a hulk, snapping his leather bonds like rubber bands, you weren't surprised. Not when he peeled the face of the nearest person. Not when his wings sprouted to massive translucent wings growing scales. If his wings were not the shape you are used to, you would have sworn he turned into a dragon.

It was a sight that brought your mind a little to the present. 

Shigaraki lifted you and flung you over his shoulder as if you weighed nothing. As dust filled the air, you reacted enough to close your eyes and cover your mouth.

"Need child! Need father! Need females," Shigaraki wheezed in the plumes of dust he created of the handlers and door. Your mind raced to interpret what he was saying. Tanaka i s here? A child? Tonight?  This was all nonsense that hurt your head to think about. You felt yourself pull into your body more.

A lighting jolt of pain!

Confusing chaos as you bounced around in Shigaraki's shoulder in a flurry of dizzying movements and dust. Flashes of screaming faces. Splashes of crimson warmth dripped between his wings. It was overwhelming. Your entire being screamed and repelled itself away. Floating away from your body until it caught on a rock in the white waters of turmoil.

Suddenly you are looking at yourself. A crazed Shigaraki busting through rapidly decaying walls, you a limp useless ragdoll.…walls you are putting up? Your mind was not understanding. You quickly look at …Cops!?! Cops with teens? What the fuck is that? What insane Orwellian nightmare are you looking at? When suddenly you are worried. Worried for Kai. He has given you life.

Kai is carrying the future.  That intense thought invaded your mind. These thoughts are not your own!  No! That's a child. A child that looks like Shigaraki. What the fuck is happening?  Your mind screams, loosening the grip on the rock. Leaving you open to being battered by more waves of pain and thoughts that are not your own.  

You clawed your way onto the rock again. The thoughts that are not yours tried to push you off. This rock is a person in the walls. You don't understand. But what you do know is Shigaraki is tearing through the building to get to Tanaka. She was being dragged along by one of the bullets.

The guy you are in is throwing up walls for Shigaraki and the police. This was bad. The cops would take Shigaraki away to a government facility. You force the rock to focus on the two you can feel this person has a seething hate for. The moment that happened, things became easier for Shigaraki.

You let go of your hold on the man in the wall and swam through the stray thoughts back to your body. Where you felt everything again in sharp 3-D pain.

You screamed so loud the Doctor turned to look behind. Tanaka paused and stared at the wall that suddenly appeared behind them. Kai morphs a little as he hisses his disapproval of her hesitation to follow. Things have become hectic.

"I will get the others later. Believe me when I say I don't want to leave an investment behind," Kai stated flatly.

Tanaka shivered and allowed herself to be yanked behind.

"Shouldn't I carry the child?" She asked timidly. Kai looked like he wanted to slap her but was barely restrained. The guy carrying Erie seemed relieved to hand her off to Tanaka. The little girl was her typical stiff, traumatized self. Sometimes she felt disgusted with the girl. She could not imagine anyone rolling over and just taking the torture as this experiment has.

She had to stop mentally. She has seen what has been done to her. What she helped do to the little girl. It helps relieve her guilt when she thinks of the girl as an experiment. Now is not the time to relieve herself of anything. The stress made her signal La Brava too soon.

Tanaka can only hope she did not ruin everything as the child clung to her. She set up a few things. When the men were distracted, she slowed down, actively walking back. When one shouted, "HEY!" She turned and ran. Straight towards the monstrous roar. She yelped when she heard the clicking of crashing gun hammers.

Tanaka had been working on their trust. She had their backs turned on her more than once. Today was the day she was brave enough to plug the gun barrels. The rage in Overhaul's voice tingled up her spine, making her break out in gooseflesh.

"Eri, get back here before others have to DIE!" Kai, no, Overhaul shouted. A monster version of Shigaraki was barreling toward them. Passing them to attack Overhaul directly. Dropping your body on the ground at the Doctor's feet. The wind was knocked from you. But Tanaka was more focused on Overhaul.

She had to see it to believe it. But Overhaul put a barrier between them. Shigaraki was quickly decaying as spikes made of the floors and walls tried to impale him. It is now a part of the common cold virus and is spreading. Tanaka was filled with dread as you stumbled to your feet.

"Let's go!" You shouted at her. Draping yourself on her as you clutch and shamble away from the danger. You didn't get far when new walls closed off between you and Shigaraki. The only way out was forward, so you pressed on. It wasn't long before you ran into the police.

Shigaraki  was focused on removing the danger from the females. When the danger lessened. Feeling the threat weakened from using his new quirk. How twisted must this man be to get this quirk? Shigaraki had no delusions about himself. He knows Master was altering him and the rest of his family. He knows he was groomed and used.  What is this one's excuse?  He wondered.

Not for long. His females were retreating, and he needed to secure them from the other males wandering this new maze. It was a physical need that twisted his mind and body to follow. His main target was his mate. But somehow, once again, his grub and his mate had parted. He puked. The adrenaline was taking a toll on his body.  What a pain , his mind growled.

Dr. Tanaka decided to let the cops have the kid while they were pointing guns at you and telling you to "release the child!" was a much better idea than getting shot. She ran to them, but you tried to keep her with you. The little girl coughed all over the green hair kid. Interesting look for a new little fascist, she thought. The other thought was the potential damage that the child could do. She has seen that thing make people disappear.

"Hey. We are all kidnaped victims. That child belongs to my…husband," you found yourself saying. More police dispersed. A few stayed to help the three of you. The Doctor looked like a frightened rabbit looking for an exit.

"Let them keep her. She's dangerous, and the longer we stay here, the more likely they run into Shiggy," Tanaka whispered. The look of fear in her eyes screamed for them to run. You know and trust Tanaka too much to snatch the girl back. Instead, you latch onto each other and run. Tanaka leading the way.

"I hope she is safe now. Either way, we need to put on our oxygen masks first," She panted. You had no idea what that meant or cared now. The pain was screeching again. This time it was a different beast. The drugs. Oh, how you suddenly want to go back for your dose.

"You're sweating? Do you have a fever? Oh fuck. Oh, fuck!" She repeated in a disturbed chant, dragging you along. Your arm feels hotter than the rest of you. You spare a glance from your pain to Tanaka. She looks to be at the end of a cold. Running on pure terror. She is gaunter than ever, which sent a chill down your spine. How bad off must her health be for you to feel pity for her?

The light hurt. The high-pitched happy voice of the blonde girl hurt. The baritone of the firefighter? Pyro nympho? His voice hurt. All you know is she is showing off a lot of plunging neckline, and you didn't finish all the way with Shigaraki. There was a roar. A blur, and then everyone was violently placed in a van.

That made your head spin as you were shoved into the back of a Van. The pale figure blurred. Then reappeared with a dead-looking child when the darkness closed in on you. You faded into the bright light to see a screeching Shigaraki filling the van.

A crying child. A chittering Shigaraki. The Doctor holds the child away from everyone, not in fear for the child. But in fear  of  the child. A masked man shouted how, "The facility will be safe. We are going to take you there right now! Sensei wants you!"

"Oh my gosh! They are all so cute!" The blonde girl gushed. 

"All of you need to shut up. Your too loud," A young man with staples and burns gruffed. His icy eyes land on you. Your flesh breaks out in gold gooseflesh as you try not to stare are the cruel-looking man. 

Shigaraki snarled at your distress.  

When  you open your eyes. It was terrifying. Memories of laying on a metal bed frame and pain. You groan and shift. Shigaraki's purrs were a relief as you felt the tickle of his soft ruff on your cheek. You feel his arms and wings wrapped around you. It's warm and comforting.

You don't trust it at first. So many times, they have tried to fool you. They wanted to know where the farm was. You never told them. You never will. But this feels different. The pain has dulled.

You open your eyes to a chirping Shigaraki. He looks at you with heavy-lidded love and nuzzles your hair. Looking around, you are more confused. You're in a nest, and when you peek out the door, you realize that the nest is in a tree. Real trees. But fake grass. A sterile smell of cleansers.

"Where are we?" You asked in horror.

"We are at my before home. Mommy had a fever. Mommy is carrying little grub. It was ok. Master fixed. We'll leave when safe," Shigaraki rasped, pulling you back to the nest. Your mind whirled with questions.

"Who is Master?" You asked timidly. A speaker under a camera in the corner answered.

"You can call me AFO or All for short. When Tomura returned, he brought you and the Doctor Tanaka to us. Both of you were suffering from a virus in your condition. Detoxing with a child and a skyrocketing fever, we came to an agreement. We put you in an induced coma while you detox. Breaking the fever. In exchange, all of you will help with the Doctor's research," The disembodied voice of AFO stated.

"How long have I been asleep?" You asked the air. Your emotions spinning. You're pregnant? Shiggy pulled you in close and whispered. The gravel of his voice was painful. But his hot breath tickled, and a shiver ran down your spine at the words.

"A month. Overhaul is coming. This is where we will make our last stand. Get rid of all threats," Shiggy rasped.

Shigaraki nuzzled and tried to get you back to calm. A scared mommy was an unpredictable one. He wanted you healthy and safe. You are a dumb mommy who can't protect herself. When he crashed from the burning power pumping in his veins. Father quickly helped him and the child. He told Father about the adjusted plans. He will get rid of Overhaul, Master, and the other threats in the forest in one swoop. He smiled and cooed to his mommy. 

All mine , he thought in pleasure.

[obsessedasusual]

Important Jobs - Chibs Telford x Reader

Pairing: Chibs Telford X Reader

Warnings: Mention of guns, blood, pregnancy, swearing.

Summary: After getting pistol whipped, you and Chibs have a discussion about safety.

Note: Listen... it's short, it's sweet, it's what I needed to wind down after work. I love this man.

“Tara seriously,” you laughed pushing her hand away from where she was holding a cloth to your eyebrow, “I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.”

“Y/N, the bitch hit you with her gun. You’ve got blood everywhere and a fucking egg forming on your forehead. You are not fine,” she gently pulled the cloth away and you saw her cringe when the bleeding continued, hurriedly pressing it right back on your injury causing you to hiss, “Sorry. This shouldn’t need stitches. You sure you don’t feel dizzy? Sick at all?”

You shook your head, abruptly stopping when Tara grabbed your chin and gave a stern look. You loved your friend, you really did. And it was unbelievably handy having a doctor so handy, especially for times like this. But right now, all you wanted to do was crawl your way down to the dorms and pass out wrapped in a comfortable blanket. It had been a big night.

“No, Tarz. No dizziness, no wooziness, no seeing double, no concussion.” You smiled at the wall but quickly dropped it when you heard a new voice enter the room.

“And no fuckin’ common sense either apparently,” Chibs stood with his arms crossed in the doorway, even though you were hidden by Tara’s form you could feel his glare on you, “Doc, do you mind givin’ me and my lovely lady a minute.”

It wasn’t said as a question. Tara caught your eye and asked you a silent question. You lifted the corner of your lip slightly and nodded, lifting your hand to take hold of the cloth on your eyebrow.

Chibs shifted closer, sharing a look with Tara as she left the room.

“You want to explain what happened tonight, my lovely?”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m you would’ve heard by now.”

He sighed deeply, pursing his lips and staring at the wall behind before he made his way over to have a closer look at your injury, “Aye, I heard. What the fuck were you doing wrestling a gun out of that crazy gash’s hands?”

“She was pointing the thing at Tara, Chibs! You should’ve seen her - she would’ve used it. I didn’t think she was gonna fucking pistol whip me.”

He muttered a stop movin’ at your animated explanation, “Ima’s fuckin’ nuts, Y/N. You know that.”

You sighed and nodded lightly. He was right, Ima was nuts. When she’d shown up looking for a night with Jax you knew the evening was going to be anything but boring. You hadn’t expected her to pull a gun on Tara after she’d told her that he wasn’t there and to fuck off. So what if Tara had socked her in the eye first?

Chibs tilted your head up to face him, bending down to give you a light peck, “No more fuckin’ gun fights. That’s my job.”

“How come you get the exciting job.” You joked, gazing up at him. He chuckled and checked the light swelling on your eyebrow.

“Because you, my lovely, have to take it easy while you’re growin’ our babe,” one of his hands drifted down to your noticeable bump, “That’s the most important job.”

You hummed in agreement, “I wish your ‘wee babe’ would hold back on the morning sickness.”

Chibs let out a laugh through his nose and got to his knees in front of you, bringing his forehead to rest on your growing stomach, “I’m sure she’ll make it up to you when she gets here.”

You ran a hand through his greying hair, “She?” You felt him hum against your shirt.

“I know these things. Call it Scottish intuition.”

“I guess wisdom comes with age.” That earned you a pinch on the thigh.

“You’re lucky I love you, you cheeky shite.”

“Could say the same, old man.”

Chibs shook his head and used your thighs to push himself up so he was level with your face, “No more putting yourself in those situations, Y/N. I’m serious.”

You raised a hand to cup his face and brushed your thumb against his cheek, “I know. No more gun fighting. Promise.”

He pressed a firm kiss to your lips, “Good lass.”

[missmaywemeetagain]

Elvis and Austin!Elvis Ask game:

Thanks for the tags, @aconflagrationofmyown and @mesbouquins !! Let’s start off gently shall we? Because this most definitely devolves into thirsty madness later, you’ve been warned…and also, we are all at various stages in the Elvis fandom, some of us have been suckling the gospel of EP from birth, others just had their sexual awakening with the 2022 movie, and then there’s the ones among us with frickin’ doctorates on the man. All are welcome, it keeps us colorful. Feel free to pick and chose which of these you want to answer

•When and what was your first exposure to Elvis Presley?

His was always around--pretty much listened to oldies, Disney, and musicals only when I was a kid. But my first true memories are from my late teens/early 20s because my dad was a huge fan. We got him the mega set of Elvis CDs and he listened to them like crazy. I remember one time it was literally the middle of the night and he was BLASTING Elvis from the huge stereo in the living room! It was hilarious. Then, the REAL turning point was watching That's The Way It Is with my parents. I'd never seen E perform live and it was quite the life changing experience and then I was HOOKED.

•And what was your first impression?

I've always liked his music! I was NOT into the later 70s schtick that was seemingly everywhere, like with the impersonators and such. But with TTWII, I was like, "Holy hell, this guy is crazy talented and mesmerizing and nuts on stage and REALLY GOOD LOOKING" and I couldn't stop watching.

•Lace shirts or jumpsuits?

Lace shirts! I love that he was doing that in the 50's. I am generally not a jumpsuit fan, save for the white rivulet one from TTWII. The white and black herringbone suits from the first Vegas shows in '69 are really where it's at--Those are my faves! EP just doesn't need all the extra embellishment since he's so stunning as is. The ornate jumpsuits just remind me of how he started to go downhill in the 70's with his health and drug use and such. There are only a couple that I can stand, tbh.

•You can steal one of Elvis/Austin’s outfits, what’s it going to be?

I love the black/pink/white lace shirts/pants combos from the 50's. BUT we all know that I'm living for his scarf era in '69. I'd wear all the scarves!!

•C’mon, we know you’ve been watching/reading old interviews and random footage of the man, so what’s your favorite random Elvis quote?

OMG there are SO MANY that I don't even know where to start. "My boy, my boy" and the "touching body with hands--hands with body" from '68 Special. His monologues from Vegas '69. The '72 Elvis On Tour outtakes when he doesn't realize he's being recorded and talks about how he missed the rocket launch because he was "buried in a beaver" kills me. When he tells the TTWII crowd that he's totally insane. Any time he stutters. His speech from the Jaycees makes me cry. I honestly just love listening to him talk.

•Did you find Austin Butler’s lips distracting despite them being in a movie about the King of plush upper lips? (Be honest now)

They were 1,000% distracting!

•What’s an aspect of Elvis’ character you wish more people appreciated?

A lot of things! I think a lot about how dedicated he was to his fans, family, and friends at the expense of his own health and wellbeing. I WISH more people knew just how sick he was and how much pain he was likely going through every day just to exist (much less perform) and how he rarely showed it. There was a reason he took all those drugs, ya know? The list of conditions he was suffering from is INSANE, and many of them were inherited or from birth (and not drug related). Of course, the drug use spiraled out of control, but I understand why. His sense of humor. His sensitivity. How charitable he was. Not just officially, but in everyday life, too. He helped raise money to start St. Jude's. He'd give away the shirt off his back. Honestly, there were so many charitable things he did.

•You meet Col. Tom Parker for the first time, forewarned with the knowledge of what a scumbag he is, what do you do?: A. nothing, you’re a coward who doesn’t care about abused golden-hearted men B. you give the Colonel a stern telling off C. you encourage Elvis to leave him and break the contract E. you slap a legal document against that fat suit and declare “Mrs. Claus is bringing you a lawsuit” F. you waste no time with formalities, it’s a letter opener to the juggler for that piece of trash

LOL. Welllll, here's the thing. Parker was instrumental in Elvis' rise to fame in the 50s. He had the connections and the carny instincts to get Elvis to the top and I can't help but be glad for that. HOWEVER, I think once E came back from the Army, Parker should have gotten the boot immediately. I would go back to THAT moment, before it all spiraled to try and change things. I would say C and E? I'm not great with confrontation, but with that man, I'd probably want to punch him in the face.

•What was your favorite aspect/scene from the Elvis 2022 movie?

Austin's overall dedication to his performance and to Elvis and his legacy. The music was amazing. And the last scene, ohhhh, that last scene in '77 was masterfully emotional with the mix of Austin!Elvis into Real!Elvis and the real footage. I LOST MY SHIT when I saw it for the first time (having already been an Elvis fan). I'm not sure I've ever been so emotional over a scene like that. I was having a breakdown in the back of the theater.

•You can choose only one song or piece of media to convince someone to become an Elvis fan, what is it going to be?

This is SO HARD because I really think it depends on the person you are trying to get to be a fan! I might choose That's The Way It Is for the mix of his humor, rehearsals, and he is just in PEAK vocal and physical form. It has a little bit of everything that makes him who he is. The If I Can Dream performance would be good, too.

•How many children would you give Elvis Presley from your own -or theoretical- womb? (listen to the beast in ya, your feminism won’t serve you here)

I just...I'm not into babies, man. I can't do it. I'm fine with other people's kids but I want to give them back as soon as it gets dicey. And with EP's Madonna complex, I wouldn't want to cuz then he wouldn't want to have sex with me anymore, soooo...my decision is clear. LOL

•Where are you hanging out with EP, his bedroom with the teddy bears, Club Handy, his private jet or Graceland?

Listen, I'm all for his 50's bedroom BUT the teddy bears in the 50s were creepy! I'd probably say Graceland.

•What is the peak Elvis era? warning, this says an awful lot about you…

I think we ALL know my answer to this! Peak Elvis is '68-70, SPECIFICALLY 1969. Followed closely by post-Army 1960.

•How long have you been an Austin Butler fan (be honest now, God is watching)

Literally had no clue who he was until this movie.

•What kind of Elvis chick are you? -a 1950’s prospective wife material that he’s already sampled, a 1960’s filmset fling or a Vegas torrid backstage affair?

Oh, lord...can I be all three?? I want to be all three! Naw, but based on my personality, I'd probably end up being the 50's wife material.

•Is Austin Butler an honorary southerner now? Answer options: A. hell no, California can keep his sweet cheeks. B. hell yes, he’s practically been possessed by the soul of the King of the South

B. I am convinced he was possessed and therefore deserves honorary Southern status.

•Pick your poison in the fan-fiction realm: angst, fluff, smut, fluffy smut, angsty fluff, angsty smut?…or is reading about Elvis Presley an acknowledged health hazard?

HAHAHAHA I'm sure this is a *shocker* but angsty smut or fluffy smut.

•Spit or swallow for this man? (And if you don’t understand this question move right along)

Look, I am not a swallower. I wish I was. I'm not sure I have it in me. I would try for EP but I might risk vomiting all over him, sooooo...

•Would Gladys approve of you? Take your above answer into consideration

I think so? I can be a bit shy (LOL i know) but I'd also be dedicated to her son.

•Which of Elvis’ cars is your favorite?

Cars don't do it for me. If it runs and has AC, I'm good. The 50's Caddys were pretty, though.

•What are your odds for besting this man at karate?

Zero to none. UNLESS you count stripping all my clothes off as a distraction, in which case, I would win.

•If you could meet Elvis and have enough composure to tell him something, what would it be?

Oh god. this is so hard for me to put into words. Maybe how amazing his legacy is 45 years after he's been gone and how the love he's spread seems to defy space and time and how he's still managing to help people connect to each other because of him.

•What’s a hobby or pastime of yours you wish you could share with Elvis/Austin!Elvis

Musical theater! I just have this feeling he would've gotten a huge kick out of the musical SPECTACULARS that came out of the 80's/90's/early 00's. I mean the flashiness of Phantom alone, come on (capes! costumes! gold chandeliers! pretty girls! LOL). And some of the challenging powerhouse voice roles would have been right up his alley, I think. Also that idea that you could be in a musical in a really dramatic role (not the happy-go-lucky stuff he was doing in the 60s) I think might have appealed to him. I think with a little more training and his ability to sing well in so many genres would have suited him well, too.

•What’s the Elvis 2022 quote you’ve been mumbling to yourself ever since you heard it?

"I'm Elvis Presley, and that's what I do!"

•What are your top 3 go-to Elvis songs?

Ugh. You can't do this to meeee. THERE ARE TOO MANY. It depends on my mood! Fine, okay. FINE. I'll choose. But I reserve the right to change my mind. LOL.

Trying to Get to You (live, '68 Special, second sit down show)

Just Pretend (live, That's The Way It Is, midnight show 1970)

Without Love (There is Nothing) (Elvis Back in Memphis 1969--I'm so upset he never did this one live...)

•If you could spare him one tragedy what would it be?

All his health problems and the fact that they would have killed him early even w/o the drugs. I truly think the drugs would not have been such an issue if he hadn't been suffering so much. Read Elvis: Destined to Die Young by Sally Hoedel. It is incredibly tragic to me how his body failed him and equally tragic how it was so unknown at the time what was wrong and how the sensationalism of the drugs and dying in the bathroom affected his legacy for so long. See my post from the anniversary of his death for more information on this, if you so desire. I will die on this hill of spreading awareness that he wasn't just a burnt out drug addict. I loved the movie, but it's one part that I think really could've been handled better.

•Is there a modern artist that sorta scratches for you the itch that Elvis’ absence leaves?

No. EP was one of a kind. I mean, I love music and many different artists, but no one hits the same as Elvis.

•How did you react at the end of the movie when In the Ghetto started to play A. I got up and fixed a snack because I have no soul, B. I left feeling alarmingly horny, C. I was impressed but didn’t realize how affected I was until days later when it was still with me D. I cried buckets they had to bring in a mop E. I may have appeared emotionless but in fact my soul was leaving my body and I don’t think it’s returned quite yet

D. Literally D and a little of E. The fact that Baz had the audacity to hit us with Unchained Melody and that real!Elvis montage and THEN slam us with In the Ghetto...I had chills. Still do. And I am not exaggerating in the least when I say I was stifling my gut-wrenching sobs so people wouldn't think I was having a breakdown (I was. I was sobbing and unsure if I could actually get in my car and drive home. Then I cried all the way home. And some more when I got home. Don't judge me, I was going through some things LOL)

•If you’ve got a favorite gif or photo insert it here and bless us all

I'm not sure who to tag who hasn't done one already... maybe @fic-over-cannon and @2lekk @ash-omalley @arianatheangel-girl @tiredbuthappy @deke-rivers-1957 @headfullofpresley @dre6ming @kaitaesupremacy or whoever wants to do it, sorry I'm terrible at this part! I want to know about you all!

[sgcairo]

I’m amazed (and in love) with how u still hold onto dottore’s apathetic trait. Ik it’s obvious but I see a lot of people brushing it off, I personally dislike it..

Can you please speak about him and emotions more? So much light on pantalone pls don’t abandon the doctor😞 hehe. Not necessarily between babyttore and pantalone but also other things such as grief anger and love (also loneliness I’m curious)

Do u think someone before outed him about his (dottore’s) actions and how he doesn’t realize/care abt the consequences of them and how they affect others? If yes could u please explain dottore’s inner and outer reaction? Sorry im so Inlove with your characterization 😆

Honestly, I hate it when people brush off the fact that yes, he's an apathetic bastard. That's the whole point of his character, the risk of science without morals. And I like theorizing about it, because psychology is interesting and I'm a psychology nut.

I got you on the emotions bit. I kind of went over these in some of my previous answers to your asks, but it's time to deep dive, as it's my favorite thing to do other than write stupid fanfiction and read my books.

Here's the thing: Dottore is hard to characterize at times because I really can't relate to apathy, so it's a lot of speculation. He's just as crazy as they get, and I just have to let go of my own moral standpoints when thinking in his general perspective. No morals, just arson and destruction.

Dottore is a man of few emotions in general. And that's why he's so confused when Babytorre invokes some of these strange feelings within him. He's a wild card with how he feels, and honestly seems a bit scattered in terms of how his emotions present themselves. His anger is manifested in the destruction of the things he's worked so hard to create, his satisfaction is shown through lack of work on these projects, instead used as time to go bother others or take a moment to sit down and consider the outcomes.

But for things such as grief and love, he doesn't understand them. It's not that he doesn't feel them, he just can't recognize them when they happen. The first time he feels anything close to either, he thinks he's sick, as physical sensations equivalent to actual love are foreign to him. He's so detached from feeling them that he can't even tell what they are anymore, and that's where the whole "apathy" portion really strikes hard.

He just lacks the understanding and conceptualization of these feelings, which makes him detached from his victims. He does it because he believes in furthering his research, but also because he can't relate to the feelings that stem from having unpleasant experiences. He detached those feelings long ago, and now he can't exactly recover them easily, as he doesn't know them anymore.

Within childhood, there's a crucial stage of psychological development that's called "preconceptual morality". Basically, it's the idea that most of a child's actions are typically egocentric, or surrounding their own self interest. Dottore is the perfect example of a lack of development past this stage. He does only what benefits him. The definition of preconceptual morality also spreads to adults "under extreme pressure". So Dottore's own responsibilities ambitions and self imposed expectations may be a root cause of this, or simply his own lack of moral exemplifications.

He's quite literally a psychopath. I could throw all my above analysis away by just saying that his brain doesn't comprehend emotions, and his violent tendencies have stemmed from that in their own right.

But loneliness is an interesting emotion, as Dottore is unfamiliar with feeling lonely. He's always been a man that works alone, that much is clear. And by feeling lonely... It's not an emotion he's ever really felt or recognized as an actual ability.

From a psychological standpoint, we develop our ideas of emotions through our guardians/caretakers. They teach us what we're feeling and how to deal with that. Part of me wonders if Dottore just wasn't told no or that manifesting his feelings in such unproductive ways was bad. Either he has parent issues, or he just completely lacks the emotional awareness that most people have.

And yes, Pantalone in particular outed him about how he doesn't understand feelings, and that he's heartless. Basically chewed him out for being inconsiderate, especially towards Pantalone himself.

And let's just say that Dottore reacted poorly. I like to think that he doesn't yell, but he definitely has a warning tone, the "I'm dangerous and I could mutilate you if I pleased" type of tone. Pantalone is one of the few people below him that isn't terrified of it. Dottore wouldn't be visibly shaken, he's too good at keeping his physical displays of emotion in check.

But internally, I would think that Dottore wouldn't feel much of anything at all. In fact, he might even agree. But depending on the situation, it would also make the tiniest crack in his chest, for all the unpleasant feelings to leak out. He definitely knows what it's like to feel defeat and anger, along with frustration and jealousy. He lacks the counter balance for them. He would likely feel his own form of frustration, especially because Pantalone dares speak to him like that, much less after everything the Doctor has done for him. How dare he go against Dottore, they were on the same side.

Arguably, I think Pantalone's opinion is the only one Dottore would respect, every once in a blue moon. Only because he's the only Harbinger that doesn't actively pursue murder and instead plays the game of manipulation. And when two manipulative bastards are honest with each other for once... It doesn't end well.

So there's my brainrot for that. Hopefully it makes sense, I wrote this in the middle of the night with only two braincells skipping in circles to the "it's corn" meme.

Dottore is just a mess of a man, there's no explaining it. I cannot with his thought process, it just jumps around like a possessed Easter bunny.

Meanwhile Pantalone is just enough of a bastard to be coherent, there's a reason why I live their dynamic. Scattered and composed, the perfect complementary personalities.

[black-paraphernalia]

A CONVERSTATION TO THE STATMENT IN PART 1 

OF BLACK PARAPHERNALIA PSA REPLY to the inbox message (BP is replying to sections this is the 2 section statement) for the entire message go to part 1 of the Black Paraphernalia PSA

“  I don't understand is that when a person gets shot from being pulled over by a cop why is it always the guy screaming waving his arms running back to the car why can't he just get pulled over put his hands on the wheel and stay calm I've been driving for 30 years and I got pulled over three dozen four dozen times and I've never gotten a ticket   “ by  jerseyee blogger 

(Hmm lest take a guess maybe jerseyee is white man or a white women?)

@jerseyee Here is a thought, try to opening your mind and google thousands of videos of the police brutality placed on the black community maybe you will get an understanding. The sad thing we can not google thousands, nor hundreds, not ever an few of white people getting humiliated or killed during a traffic stop. Hell you don’t even see the crazy mass shooter killing up everyone get shot. They get walked out without a scratch and some ever get burger and fries. 

 THIS WAS A LT MEDIC IT THE UNITE STATES ARMY SERVING FOR ALL AMERICAINS EVEN THE VERY POLICE THAT PEPPER SPAYED HIM.

The police (not all but the ones who participate in this type of behavior only see black skin - not a Doctor, not a Lawyer, not a Professional Athlete, not a rich man, a poor man, or a baker man. They only see a thief and Black person  who have stole their jobs, their women, their county the way it was in the WS foot patrol feeble minds.

THEY DO NO SEE AN EQUAL HUMAN WITH EQUAL RIGHTS!  TO BE TREATED AS A PERSON WITH ALL THE CIVIAL RIGHTS AS ANYONE REGARDLESS OF THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN.

I DID NOT POST THE THOUSANDS OF BLACKS THAT WAS MURDERED BY THE HAND OF THESE RACE SOLIEDERS MASQUERADING AS POLICE OUT OF RESPECT OF THE FALLING AND THEIR FAMILIES.    

BUT HERE ARE SOME OTHER EXAMPLES TO DISPELL YOUR COMMENTS

Police mistake black teen riding with white grandmother for robbery suspect

Bodycam footage shows Iowa cop allegedly racially profile driver

New York Post Officer relieved of duty after violent arrest caught on camera

Reform: Officers Who Detained 6-Year-Old At Gunpoint 

Sued Under New Law | The Beat With Ari Melber

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL THE ABOVE YOUTUBES VIDEO’S USED

Please come back for part 4 of Black Paraphernalia’ reply

THE SECOND COPY AND PASTE OF JERSEYEE INBOX MESSAGE BELOW

“ I act cool and I make them feel okay not threatened but these assholes get pulled over and right away they were waving their arms screaming going underneath the seat what the f*** do you expect the police officer to do regardless if these black white or anything else if you stay calm you'll make them come if you act like a nut job you're going to make them nervous”                      by Jerseyee Blogger

Black Paraphernalia Disclaimer - Videos from YouTube

[impossiblycolorfulpanda]

atla - court

Aang: “Permission to speak to the witness your honor.”

Earth kingdom judge: “Granted.”

Aang: “Alright Ozai, you don’t wanna tell us, I’ll tell you. I’m gonna tell you exactly what kind of man you are. You’re the kind of man the fire nation needs.”

Court crowd murmurs in confusion.

Aang: (to the earth kingdom jury) Because we all know the remaining three nations need help. They need it now, not tomorrow, not next week, next month, next year or another 100 years. Now. The world has become sick throughout these 100 years. We need people who are willing to risk their own lives for peace to be restored and we can feel safe in our own homes. We need heroes, and the hope that they provide.”

Crowd cheers.

EK judge: “Order!”

Cheers die down.

Aang: “Ozai wanted what fire lord Sozin wanted. Prosperity for the fire nation and share it’s uniqueness throughout the world and just wanted to help, but, like Sozin, he took it too far. He’s killed people, he treated his own family like dirt. I don’t like him anymore than you do but here’s the thing. He thinks he’s a good man and perhaps deep down he is a good man. He just doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong anymore and he doesn’t need punishment for that, he needs help. Our help. That’s the kind of man Ozai is. No further questions.”

Aang sits back down.

Ozai: “Your honor, I’d like to say something.”

EK judge: “You may.”

Ozai: “The day of Sozin’s comet, the day I decided to burn the entire earth kingdom and kill everyone in it. I want you know I’d do it all again.”

Crown murmurs shocked.

Ozai: “What I want is not the same as to what my grandfather wanted. Your idiotic view of me being crazy, I’m not crazy! I know what I did. I know who I am. I don’t break as easily as two of my fragile children. As I’m in my right mind, I’ll tell you, every scum, every lowlife, every maggot I put down. I did it BECAUSE I LIKED IT! I LOVED IT!

EK judge: “Order!”

Ozai: I’m just itching to do it again and you think you’re gonna send me in a nut house? Get some useless doctor to stop me from doing what I enjoy doing? WELL THAT’S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! NOT AS LONG AS I LIVE!”

The crowds begin shouting.

Ozai: “You call me the phoenix king! The big bad phoenix king! HERE I AM!”

EK judge: “Remove the witness!”

EK soldiers have been trying to detain Ozai while he struggles.

Ozai: “I AM THE PHOENIX KING! I’M RIGHT HERE! ALL HUMANITY IS CAPABLE OF IS WAR AND BLOODSHED! YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE, AVATAR! YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I’M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT BIG MISTAKE THAT REALLY IS AND THE LAST MISTAKE YOU’LL EVER MAKE!”

EK soldiers were forcefully carrying Ozai off.

Ozai: “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF I PLEAD GUILTY! I’M GONNA DESTROY THIS WORLD AND KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WORMS FEASTING ON IT’S CARCASS!”

Aang slowly facepalms. Zuko touched his shoulder.

Zuko: “I’m sorry you had to see that but now you see what I had to deal with my whole life.”

Aang: “How can you just like hurting people? I doesn’t make any sense.”

Zuko: “I know, but trust me when I say there are people who do. Best thing to do is put them down and hope they find peace in the afterlife.”

Aang: “But how would that separate us from them?”

Zuko: “What we do afterwards determines how different we are. If at some point we’re forced to kill, it’d be out of necessity and only necessity.”

Aang: “It’s a slippery slope Zuko.”

Zuko: “Everything important requires risk and sacrifice.”

[darwin-xf]

Love is a Verb

His dick knew things.

In general, thinking with your little head not your big one got a bad rap.

But for him? The opposite seemed to apply.

Of course he’d been mortified when he sprung to life in her hand the night before, with Scully in full on doctor mode, acting so clinical and detached. While he was so very very exposed.

A wave of anger arose in the wake of his humiliation. At her. Which wasn’t fair. She was doing him a favor, after all. Examining him, because they were stuck in a crap motel in the middle of nowhere Florida, the day after a hurricane, flights snafued, roads clogged with debris. And him with a sea monster bite on his neck and an angry itchy red rash on his dick to match. She was caring for him, just like she always did. Even though neither one of them was exactly comfortable about the prospect.

But now, considering what that moment of vulnerability had led to, he was glad it happened. And hardly surprised.

And when his big head has been muddled and confused on a night a few weeks before? His dick had shown the way forward. When a different woman had laid her hands on him, slipped her tongue into his mouth.

He didn’t want her. He felt like a block of wood as she kissed him and touched him. And yet he let it happen. His mind filled with a fuzzy gray static as she whispered to him how she needed him, how she’d never stopped loving him, until she was kneeling on the floor in front of him. She opened his pants and he let her, hungry for something she was offering. He would think a lot about that later.

But then his dick was in her mouth. And she worked it, employed all her little tricks. And still it stayed soft.

Until, giving up, she stood. She crossed the room and poured herself a scotch. He tucked his junk in his pants and zipped up. Not even embarrassed.

“You love her,” Diana said, her back to him.

He nodded. “I do.”

“But Fox,” she said, closing the distance between them, sitting down next to him, “She doesn’t know you like I do. There’s so much I want to give you...”

She launched into the pitch he’d heard from her before. Since she returned, she’d been whispering to him whenever she could get him alone, offering him access. “There are so many things we can accomplish together, Fox. Why would you want to keep toiling in the dark when you can shape the future of the human race? You’ve more than earned your seat at the table. And your voice is needed there...”

Though he never really felt engaged in these conversations, his big head listened to what Diana had to say.

But the little one was more persuasive. Not to mention more persistent. The truth was, Scully had been the only one able to get him off for months. Though of course she hadn’t touched him.

His extensive collection of salacious videotapes these days stayed tucked in their hiding places, moldering in their cases. The magazines delivered to his door each month, Penthouse and Hustler and Escort and Razzle and Club, remained stacked on his entryway table, their spines uncracked, their pages unperused. Most with the black no-see-um wrapper still intact.

A fact Scully discovered while visiting his apartment a few weeks before. She turned up on the late side one evening, work on her mind, files in her hand, her body tucked dutifully away in some dark suit.

“Oh that,” he said when she placed her palm on the towering cache of smut, popped an eyebrow in his direction. She had spent enough time in his space to understand that this was a departure from his usual behavior, where his porn was concerned. Whereby he’d rip the covers off the mags as soon as they arrived and leaf through them, looking for anything particularly good. He’d turn down the corners of memorable pages then leave them piled haphazardly around his place: on end tables, under the fishtank, next to his bed.

The explanation was not something he was prepared to share. So he thought fast, and invented something on the fly that seemed remotely plausible. “Yeah, the boys tell me that those are going to be collector's items soon. Print is dead, Scully. Everyone making the switch from atoms to bits and bytes. Paper’s so pulpy and inefficient. I have a book on it somewhere...” He riffled through his bookshelf, glad to escape her excruciating gaze. He plucked out a book and handed her a copy of Being Digital by Nicholas Negroponte. “He’s a smart guy. You should check it out.”

His effort to distract her was in vain. She put the book aside without glancing at the cover and continued to silently cross-examine him. He pretended to be interested in another book he’d pulled at random, but the moment stretched on uncomfortably. "I thought I could get more for them if they remained in pristine condition,” he said as he paged through the book he wasn’t reading. For all he knew he was holding it upside down. “You know how people keep their Star Wars toys in the boxes with the cellophane on?”

She shrugged, unconvinced. But she moved on, willing to let it go. Her stacked heels clacked obnoxiously against his hardwood floors as she slowly made her way into his living room.

He doubted she wanted to know the real reason. Though he was pretty sure he could turn the tables on her if he blurted it out. It would serve her right for the way she roamed around his apartment and let her eyes light on his stuff, storing her little data points in that mind, trying to figure him out. But maybe one day the tea leaves of his pitiable life she seemed so eager to read would finally speak to her. Maybe it would occur to her what was actually going on.

Which was that every time he touched himself, he imagined it was her hand. And he would try to switch things over, open one of his skin mags— his trusty strategy for years when it came to getting his thoughts off his partner and back where they belonged —but it wasn’t working anymore.

He’d listlessly page through the glossies, looking for a promising spread, land on some blowjob scene and eyeball it for a while. But when he got down to business it, was her mouth on him, warm and receptive, her eyes on his face, his hands in her coppery hair. He’d smolder for a while, thinking of her lips, her strong small hands, and always her eyes, then feverishly work himself up. And the magazine, forgotten, would slip away onto the floor.

On the bright side, his inappropriate intrusive fixation on his FBI partner was saving him two hundred bucks a month he used to spend on phone sex. The last time he dialed in he couldn’t even get it up. So he spilled his guts to one of his regular providers, droning on for forty-five minutes about how he had it bad for his partner, all the things she did that made him crazy, the reasons he couldn’t tell her. Realizing even therapy would be cheaper, and feeling like a terrible cliché, he’d quit calling those numbers.

His videos were his last line of defense. Their absorbing input had always been able to capture his attention, so he’d try one of those. It might work for a few minutes, but the real action was behind his eyes. In his mind it was her heels digging in to the small of his back as he plunged into her tight little cunt. She’d be beneath him hot and panting, open her mouth to moan and he’d stuff his fingers in, slide them wetly against her tongue. Soon he’d be picking up the pace... The television would blare fruitlessly in the background, rife with bad dialogue and silicone silo tits and oh babys. The money shot would come and go, unseen by him, and the screen would fade to black.

The reason porn had quit working was simple: in his fantasies, she always comes too. Usually more than once. He’d start slow, imagine he was taking his time kissing his way down her body. That could take a while. Then he’d tease her, rubbing the fat head of his cock up and down her slit. When she begged him to, he’d slip inside her and slam his hips forward. He’d hold there, bottomed out, and kiss her sweet mouth. Then he’d slide it in and out, looking into her eyes, feeling every inch of her.

Soon he’d need to fuck her harder, faster. He’d reach down to tease her clit until she was thrashing and pleading. Then she’d say his name, and her face would change, and she’d come on his dick. He’d watch her ride it out, humming with pleasure as her warm wet circles broke against him and travelled up his body in waves. Till his nuts and his gut and his heart and his throat and his brain were replete with her. Finally he’d come, imagining he was cradled by her hips and rocking, buried deep inside her, spilling his secrets into her ear.

In his dirty busy mind he’d already had her so many places and ways: in showers and motel beds, in cars and elevators, bent over his desk at work, the door unlocked, her skirt bunched around her waist, her drugstore pantyhose dangling from her ankle. Quick or slow or sweet or mean, acrobatic or missionary, rough or tender. Or both. God. Even boring. Just the two of them in his bed, nose to nose under the covers, whispering and giggling and whiling away a Sunday morning.

And the most pathetic and woebegone detail? Sometimes his fantasies contained no sex at all. He wanted to watch a movie with her feet parked in his lap. He wanted to shop for groceries with her and hold her hand on the walk home. To spend a weekend with her on the Vinyard and show her his old high school. He wanted to rub her back when she was sad and play footsie with her under the table during boring budget meetings. He wanted to gather her close and kiss her eyelids and hold her in his arms as she fell asleep. To watch her to rise naked from his bed and pull on his clothes she’d just stripped from his body. On red eye flights he wanted to leave the arm rest up and snuggle with her under those dingy felt blankets. To read to her while she soaked in the tub and find the nooks and hollows of her body where she was ticklish. He wanted to make her giggle, make her laugh, make her cry happy tears. He wanted to make her wet just with his voice. To lay in bed and watch while she got dressed for church. He wanted to kiss her in front of her idiot brother, maybe even slip her a tasteful amount of tongue. To shower with her before work, to soap her up and shampoo her hair. He wanted to stock his fridge with an assortment of her gross non-dairy yogurts.

Scully. Before she’d even descended into his office and introduced herself, he assumed she was a plant. Or a dupe, a patsy. Why else would a promising and talented young agent be conscripted to his lonely, disrespected division? Most likely she’d already agreed to keep tabs on him, to cast his work in a negative light. And even if she hadn’t, he was certain she’d be manipulated, using the lever of her obvious ambition, into doing so. He also suspected, since she’d spent most of her time thus far in the FBI in the lab or the classroom, that she was a house cat. The kind of agent who might hold romantic notions about working in the field, but who would soon balk at the grueling, unpredictable hours, the endless travel, the physical grind. And blanch at the dangers. It’s no kind of life for anybody who wants a life.

By the time their flight touched down in Oregon on that first case, he knew for sure that she was fun to spar with. And all kinds of smart. And even sort of cute. And while it can obviously be helpful to have a partner if things go sideways, he remembers hoping that didn’t happen to them before she washed out and retreated back to the lab. Because he suspected this itty bitty pathologist with zero field experience and impractical footwear? Would be more likely to become a liability than properly cover his flank.

After they’d worked a half dozen cases together, it was fair to say he’d reconsidered the hasty assumptions he’d made about Scully. Which is to say she surprised him at every turn. Except on the couple of occasions when she’d astonished him, leaving him flat-footed and slack-jawed in her wake. Against all odds, he had himself a partner. Which is not to say he fully trusted her. Not yet. And he doubted she’d hang around much longer.

But still. He’d learned that she was game. Skeptical and rational, but up for anything. She never complained about bad food or lumpy beds. And courageous, staring down firearms pushed in her face without blinking. She was fearless and cagy, and could take a punch or dish one out. And in the next moment she could soften, to connect with a suspect or a victim, to care for a child, or for him. She believed deeply in what she was doing. When he bumbled into trouble, which he seemed to have a knack for, she more than had his back. Yet when she’d sided with him and blew off her buddies from the Academy? It wasn’t loyalty to him she was demonstrating, but to the victims. To the truth. Above all, Scully was honest.

In some ways, he knew her so well. Yet all these years later there was there were aspects to her he could only guess at. Scully, he’d come to understand, was a deeply private person. Didn’t give pieces of herself away in idle conversation, like most people do. The fact that he was a trained and skilled profiler didn’t seem to help. In his fevered mind he’d become preoccupied with the things he didn’t know about her. Like how, exactly, does she like to be touched? He thought about that a lot. Is she a morning sex person? (God he hoped so.) Is she loud in bed? Or more quiet and intense? A little repressed, or wild and uninhibited? He could imagine it either way. Is she bossy? Submissive? A little of both? What does she taste like? Does she talk dirty? Will she like it when he does? (Because he definitely does.) How would he tease her? What are her kinks? Does she like it rough? And if he wanted to go down on her for hours, would she be okay with that?

So, yeah. He loved her.

That switch had been flicked for him on a steamy summer evening, a moment when he’d been staring down the real possibility of losing her. She walked away. He followed her, flew out his door like he’d been shot out of a cannon. Stormed up to her where she’d turned to face him in his hallway. Fists clenched, voice raised, he was in full on fighting mode. But he wasn’t fighting her. He was fighting to keep her. So instead of telling her off, as his body language suggested he might, he told her what she meant to him. How he needed her. Things he hadn’t even realized before they came out of his mouth. But all of it the truth.

She’d been girded and resolute, her body rigid and self-contained. But then she broke, like a marionette whose strings had been cut, she softened and stepped into his embrace. He looked in her impossibly blue eyes glinting with tears and realized with dreadful certainty that, Christ, he was going to kiss his partner. More than that, if she let him, he was going to pick her up and carry her back through the door of his apartment and lay her down and fuck her.

That plan had been derailed, but the urge for him remained. And not long after, he gathered his courage and, with all the earnestness he could muster, he’d looked her in the eyes and confessed.

So he’d told her that he loved her. But had he shown her?

That was a thorny question, and it made him uncomfortable to consider it. Because he had to admit that for the most part, he hadn’t.

It was strange, but once his feelings for Scully had shifted, his behavior toward her had become less loving. For one thing, he didn’t let her in on that fact that she’d become the only featured player in his secret late-nite fantasy theatre. But more than that, he found himself especially irritable with her. Dismissive. Self-centered. Sometimes even cold.

When he was looking for an excuse to be angry with her, he told himself a story that she’d rejected him. Because, oh brother. But he’d seen her eyes go wide for an instant, felt her animal panic. She’d pored over his hospital chart and had to know he wasn’t high. So he’d concluded that she didn’t want him. Didn’t love him.

And Fowley’d chosen that inopportune moment to skip back over the pond and make a play for his ass. And though he had no interest in rekindling that relationship, just having her around reminded him of all the reasons it just might be a bad idea to get tangled up sexually with your partner.

More than that, even though he knew that Scully felt insecure because of Diana for several legitimate reasons, he hadn’t bothered to reassure her that she had nothing to worry about. When Diana called him and invited him downstairs for lunch, he’d go. Mostly to be near his files, and to mine the trashcans for cases when her back was turned. But he’d steal away from the bullpen, not tell Scully where he was off to, or why. He let her twist in the wind, wondering who Diana was to him and what her reappearance meant for their partnership.

It would make sense that once you’ve discovered the person you love, the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your days (not even to mention nights), the person who is, quite possibly, it for you? That you would try to make that happen. To lock that down. And yet he seemed to be doing everything but.

Even after she’d been shot by Ritter, and he’d almost lost her again.

And why was that? How to explain this puzzling behavior.

Maybe she didn’t want him, and he was just protecting himself.

The thing was, when he was being honest, he knew that wasn’t true. When he’d been about to kiss her in his hallway, she’d looked confused at first. And then concerned, with real fear flashing in her eyes. But by the time his lips were hovering over hers? They were on the same page. She’d gone molten in his arms, and her mouth awaited his, wet and ready. His body remembered how she’d opened to him, with her sweet breath and her fingers on his neck. He knew in his bones how that encounter would have ended, if not for that stupid fucking bee. Recalled it every chance he got.

As a psychologist, looking at the situation objectively? He’d have to conclude that he was engaging in some epic self-sabotage. Yup.

That night in her apartment when Diana had made her intentions clear, he’d agreed like some kind of docile sheep to join her. To scrum up with the other chosen few at El Rico Air Force Base as Armageddon loomed and save himself at the expense of the rest of humanity. And Scully, even though he wasn’t by her side where he belonged, was still fighting. For him, For them. For the truth. For the future.

And to repay her for her steadfast faith in him and devotion to their work? He was flirting with the one thing that could tear them apart. With inflicting a betrayal that could send her packing for good.

They’d dodged a bullet that night. More than that, they’d gotten their files back, and were free to resume their work. And by any measure he should have felt relieved. But he woke the next morning with a hangover worse than any he’d ever gotten from liquor. He looked in the mirror to shave and realized he couldn’t even meet his own gaze. He was ashamed. And he had to admit that he’d been seduced by Diana after all. Not into bed, but into complacency.

Needing some time and space to think things through, he called Skinner and redeemed a few vacation days. He threw some clothes in a bag and set out driving, not sure of his destination.

On the road, heading north, armed with this new clarity, he mulled things over. How was he going to feel, he wondered, when he succeeded and chased her away? That seemed to be his end game, after all. He knew what he’d do. He’d track her down to wherever she’d absconded to and interrupt her as she attempted to reboot her life. Then, looking desperate and half mad, he’d profess his love.

But it would be too late. She would conclude, quite logically, that he only wanted her when she was leaving. And even if she loved him like he hoped she might, she would not settle for that. Not Scully. And it would be selfish of him to ask her to.

It hit him then, with complete and utter clarity, that he had no idea how to love someone. He’d had bad models and a dearth of life experience in that arena. He knew how he felt. But love is a verb. It’s about what you do. She had taught him that.

He was good with the grand gestures, sure. Tracking her down at the bottom of the world and fishing her out of an enormous alien vessel, for example. Then breathing life back into her and hauling her to the surface while sidestepping rabid lizard monsters who swiped at them with razor-edged claws? Check.

But she needed more. For him to find mundane ways to express his care and concern, perhaps. To show her how much she mattered to him. How much he valued her and all the ways she contributed to their work. To his life. She needed to see that he put her first. She deserved these things. She had earned them. And he knew wouldn’t let him glimpse her secret self, let him know her like he desperately wanted to, until he gave them to her.

He wasn’t sure he could do it. But he knew he had to try.

He decided to start right away. He’d been thinking of her all morning, of course. About celebrating their return by pressing her her against a wall in their office and pushing into her, fucking her breathless and senseless before lunch, to be exact. But he hadn’t thought of her at all, he realized. Not really.

Scully. She’d be there right now, in the basement waiting for him, their first day back where they belonged. Wondering where he could be with half the morning gone. Bewildered as to what might be keeping him from reclaiming his precious turf. Maybe she already talked to Skinner and knew he was taking a few days off. Maybe she’d be worried. Or pissed. Or worse, wondering if he was enjoying a morning lounging in bed with a treacherous leggy brunette.

At the next rest stop, he pulled off and powered up his cell phone. He was relieved to see that he'd missed a call from her. She hadn’t given up on him yet.

Rather than listen to her message, he dialed her back. She answered on the third ring.

“Hey Mulder,” she said.

“Hey Scully,” he said. “Are you in the office?”

“I am,” she said. “Where I thought for sure you would be. Skinner told me you were on vacation. What’s going on?” Her voice was brittle. Defensive.

“I will be, Scully. I’ll meet you there. And soon. But I need to take care of a few things first.”

“Okay,” she said thoughtfully. “What kinds of things?”

“I, ah, I need to get my head straight before coming back. I’ve been mixed up. About some stuff.”

“I see,” she said.

They were both quiet for long seconds.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Me?” The question surprised her. “I’m good. Enjoying the quiet. Working on expense reports. Glad to be out of the bullpen.”

“You sure? You were popular, Scully. I think Agent Kargoll was working up the nerve to ask you out.” Mulder would glare at him as he brought her a donut on a little plate in the mornings. He’d leave it on the corner of the desk if she wasn’t in yet, like an offering to the high priestess.

“Yep,” she said. “I noticed that too. Reassigned in the nick of time...”

“I did my best to scare him off...”

“He was persistent, I’ll give him that.”

“He seemed like a nice enough guy. You could do worse than landing a boyfriend who arrives bearing gifts every morning...”

“I could do better, too.”

“No doubt,” he said. “What would be better than that?”

“Hmm. Why do you ask?”

“Research,” he said.

“Research,” she repeated. “Okay. Let’s see. The bearing gifts is ok. But maybe someone with some sense of what I actually like?”

“Let me jot that down,” he said. She snorted a little laugh. Which warmed him all the way through. “It’s true, Scully, you’re not a big fan of donuts. I benefitted from his crush on you more than you did.”

“I tried to wait until he had his back turned before handing those off to you...”

“You’re very kind,” he said.

Just then a truck blew by on the highway, laying on the booming brake, rocking his car.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“I, ah, hit the road this morning. Just to think. Just to drive. But I suppose I’m heading home. To see my mother for a few days.”

“Everything okay?” she asked. He heard the concern in her voice, the fear that she’d be needing to tend to him trepanned and shocky, bail him out of jail. The usual.

“Yeah,” he said. “Or it will be. I really think it will be.”

“Allright Mulder,” she said after a long beat. “I’ll be holding down the fort. Drive safe. And keep in touch.”

“I will. And save me some of that paperwork, Scully.”

She laughed and hung up.

He had, in fact, visited his mother. She was glad to see him, and he stayed a few days, helped her out with some chores around the house. Got on a ladder and plucked the muck and leaves from the gutters, shifted some dusty furniture from the basement to the curb.

And he absorbed the silences of that house, his mother’s sadness, the way every possession, every exchange seemed steeped in a deep, abiding misery.

He remembered his mother different. Laughing, for example. Playing bridge with her friends, toying with her strand of pearls as she leaned in to gossip. Teasing him with a glint of joy in her eyes. Before Samantha had been taken.

It had broken her. Broken all of them. Now she ghosted around her own home, tending to her roses, watching television. Always alone. He lived much the same way. This was all that was left.

All because his father had been unable to protect them from the men he worked with, no matter how noble his intentions. The same men he had been tempted by Fowley to join up with, if he was telling the truth. Now they were reduced to ash. He had no idea what remained, but he knew he and Scully would find out.

By the time he climbed in his car to come home, he was committed to not making his father’s mistake. And to living differently. Less stubbornly solitary. To inviting some goodness into his life, no matter how strange it felt.

And last night, when it was actually happening, when he was wrapped up in bed with Scully in real life, it had been so vivid, so peculiar. As he rolled his naked frame against hers, time slowed down. In his head he heard the seconds ticking away distorted by doppler effect, whomp whomp. Felt his stiff prick slide against her buttery thigh, painfully slow. Pressed his ear to her chest. Imagined the steady squeeze and release of her heart beneath her breastbone. Heard the whoosh of her blood through her veins.

Looked up at her flushed face, this beautiful untamable breakable beast.

And he loved her.

He’d told her so.

Now he needed to show her.

Thanks for reading. Check it out at Ao3 This fic stands alone, but is also chapter 10 of Bedside Manner

[darknessisafriend]

Periods Commodus x Reader

Here I’m back with an imagine about our dear Emperor, @beatlebabe1996​ I dedicate this to you ;) 

You and Commodus had been married for a bit less than a month now, slowly, you had gotten used to each other’s presence, his frequent brooding and worries, but also his playfulness. Commodus was a man to discover and each day you learned more about him and fell even more in love with him; what had started as an arranged marriage had evolved into love. Even your husband, who was very suspicious over you at first and distant was learning to let down his guard, learning to know you were trustworthy. Yet, you still had a lot to learn about each other, you were discreet and shy, and he had a terrifying reputation…

You groaned in bed, burying your head under the sheets as the chamberlain came to wake you and your husband; today you really didn’t want to get up, you had a difficult night and pains in your lower belly had awaken you, you had understood your periods were coming. And as you woke up, you realized a slight wetness between your thighs, oh no…not when your husband was next to you, he would be disgusted, like many roman men were, some even considered it as a bad omen; what if Commodus reacted that badly too? Your heart started to hammer in your chest, you didn’t know how you would get out of that situation. You retained a little jump as you felt Commodus’ arm wrap around you.

“My Y/N…it’s time to rise.” He said softly and placed a feather like kiss on your temple. You closed your eyes, those soft lips gave you goosebump; but you lightly groaned, pretending not to feel very well.

“I’m…I think I’m going to stay in bed a bit more. I’m not feeling at my best…” you muttered. And you instantly felt your husband’s worry grow.

“What is it Y/N? are you feeling any pain?” he quickly asked, ready to call for a doctor.

“Commodus, please don’t worry about it. Just get up and start your day, I will surely feel better later.” You tried to convince him, you didn’t want the doctors involved and telling you to sleep separately from your husband until your periods ended, you wanted his comfort during that tough time of the month. But you knew how stubborn he was, he wouldn’t let go so easily.

“Tell me what you have. I don’t like things to be hidden from me. Especially from people I love. Don’t make me order you Y/N” He replied on a tone without appeal, he won’t leave this bed until you told him your symptoms.

“My belly hurts quite a lot…” you moaned as another cramp hit you. However, you didn’t expect Commodus to pull on the sheet to take a look and so you couldn’t prevent him from seeing the blood that had tainted your nightgown, you looked away in shame, your heart racing in fear that he would get angry.

“Oh Y/N tell me this is just your monthly bleeding…” murmured your husband, just for you to hear and avoid getting attention from anyone else. In fact, at the view of the blood, his heart had skipped a beat, fearing you had gotten severely ill.

“Yes, it is. I’m sorry, I should have known it was coming and I should have gone to my quarters.” You quickly apologized, not knowing how he would react. But he didn’t answer, instead you felt him get off the bed, perhaps in disgust he wanted to get away from you, you squinted your eyes shut, what would he do next?

“Love, here.” You jumped, startled by his voice so close to you. Slowly you opened your eyes and met his clear orbs, he looked at you softly, no hint of disgust or anger. You were speechless, you had to admit. And only after long seconds you noticed he held a piece of cloth in his hand, perhaps one of his expensive neck scarves made of silk.

“What…?” you asked confused.

“To absorb the blood for now.” He explained, not caring to dirty and taint the cloth “And I got you a clean loincloth.” He gave her a little smile, handing it to you as well and you couldn’t help but look at him as if he was crazy. “What?” he asked, curious as to why you looked at him like that.

“Well you’re not…? horrified or disgusted? Something like that?”

He chuckled, shaking his head “I have seen a lot more blood in the Colosseum.” He said jokingly, trying to relax you.  his hand going to caress your hair. “And I heard some doctors say it could be a thing that helped the woman to procreate. So, something that would give me a baby with you, an heir…it’s neither disgusting nor horrifying. It’s beautiful.” He replied more seriously. He respected you and would never treat you in such way, the only woman he could trust and have close to him.

“But all men they…” you tried to explain, to be sure of how he felt.

“I’m not like all men my dear. I am Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus, the Emperor.” He smirked proudly at you. And you couldn’t help but giggle, indeed he wasn’t, he was unique, in many ways. He sat on the edge of the bed. “Don’t be ashamed my love. I will take care of you today, only emergencies of the Empire will get my attention.” He added, and you sighed in relief, he was a very caring lover, fully dedicated. So, you got up, taking the cloth and the loincloth and going to change.

Once you were all cleaned, you sighed contently, you were in fresh, absorbent undergarments. You felt much better and knowing Commodus would be mostly by your side today greatly helped. As the day passed, Commodus spent his time with you in your shared bedroom, away from the Senate or councilors, working at his desk, dressed in his black and red toga, reading and replying to petitions from the People.

Each time he heard you groan as you cramps became more painful, he left his desk and joined you on the bed, lying down next to you, wrapping an arm around you. “Be strong my love, it will go away.” He murmured against your ear as his hand gently massaged your lower belly. His warmth and gentle caresses alone appeased your pain, or at least distracted you from them. He stayed as long as you needed, or until you dozed off, tired by those changes in your body.

You were discovering how caring Commodus was, he had this tender side that was well hidden by a protective wall around his heart, he had been betrayed so many times. But with you, he could be himself, because you made yourself vulnerable to him and he felt safe enough to be in return. Soon, your poor husband witnessed your mood swings for the first time and found you snaping at him for no reason and then you ended up on the verge of tears. But Commodus showed himself very understanding, these monthly bleedings really seemed to impact the woman deeply.

“You know, I do have mood swings too sometimes…” he said as he hugged you, soothingly caressing your back, his words making you laugh.

“That’s actually true, mister grumpy!” you giggled, burying your face in his neck, now placing soft kisses against his warm skin, making Commodus hum in pleasure.

“How about we go for a bath?” he suggested, kissing your temple.

“Hmm good idea.” You grinned, nibbling his skin, earning a small moan from the Emperor, your mood swings were quick, but he wasn’t complaining from that one, he actually enjoyed it, a lot.

You both headed for the baths, hand in hand. Commodus had especially requested the water to be warmer, he had quickly understood warmth relaxed you and soothed your pains; and indeed, he was a very good observer. As you both entered the warm waters, you sighed in contentment and a slave came to bring a plate full of nuts and dates.

“I asked our physician Galen about what you go through. He recommends you eat these. Helps with fatigue and moodiness.” Your husband explained to you as he took some to eat, you looked at him, once again amazed.

“Dear, you surprise me more each time. It’s such a sweet attention. Thank you.” You smiled happily, swimming to join him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Anything for you Y/N. You are my world.” He replied as if those words were naturally coming out of his mouth and with you it was. He took a date and presented it to your mouth, smiling as you eagerly ate it.

“I had never dreamt of such wonderful husband.” You murmured, tenderly kissing him, grateful to have him; your mouth traveling to his jaw. You felt him sigh contently, how much he loved feeling you so close to him, purely desiring him…his hand buried in your hair as you nibbled his earlobe.

“Oh Y/N…” he breathed, slowly starting to feel aroused, he wrapped his arm around your waist while his hand seized your chin, making you look at him in the eyes. “Kiss me.” He said softly that request was the sweetest command, as if he feared you would stop.

“Yes, my love.” You agreed softly, instantly closing the gap between the two of you. He supported you just as you supported him. An endless devotion and an always stronger love, you could fight the whole world just to be in each other’s arms.

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