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feuqueerfire · 1 year ago

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Twinkling Watermelon Live Blogging

Came across some Tiktoks (I think the first one showed up on my FYP on my phone) about a deaf girl in school being tripped by a group of girls and a girl being nice to her and with a guy who's yelling at her for making fun of him but her not understand but then !! I found this Tiktok in the tags which has characters from this series and My Perfect Stranger who time travelled back in time to when their parents were teens! Not only that, the main guy in this is the son from 18 Again (aside: I've been Obsessed with this OST again for the past week this January), which this show kinda reminds me of even though that one had the parent turning young in current timeline rather than time travel. Then I realized that it's actually a really hyped show that everybody seems to be watching.

Anyway, been a long time since I watched a full-length kdrama that's not a rewatch (From Now On, Showtime! in June 2023), so I hope I love it. Again, bad timing because busy with school but the thing is, it's nearly always bad timing, so here it goes I guess.

Episode 1 (Jan 19, 2024)

It's 1:30AM and I'm starting this lol, I'm gonna just watch 15 mins and go to sleep so that I have something to look forward to/be excited about when waking up tomorrow

Do all these shows always start with something bad/scary happening so that it's used as a hook? I'm just remembering Psychopath Diary starting with this guy's worst day of ever which made me stop watching lol The events with this ingredient man seem like it'll turn sour

you're not gonna show me what the father answered smh will it be revealed at a critical, heart-wrenching moment in the future?

ahhh the fuckass landlady and her fuckass child i can’t believe the kid is threatening him with eviction if they do t cheat So did Eun Gyeol erase and put his own name again afterwards? idgi

From what I know about this show, Eun Gyeol goes back in time + makes some sort of music band? So I’m gonna assume his dad actually wrote this song or smth (turning his “I feel sorry that only I can play songs like this” untrue) and he used to be able to hear?

My current bad habit is wishing we could go back to grownup Eun Gyeol so that I could look at his pretty nice face. Like brooo pause on being someone who loves to look at pretty boys and focus on the story at hand

Girl we once again have: worst day of ever. house on fire, grandpa dead/injured, flashback to when his dad said he’ll save Eun Gyeol first to help save the others

I hate this girl’s guitare case so bad idk why the shape of it gives me the ick - anyway is she the girl who saw him crying in front of grandfather’s store? and is she gonna be his love interest?

oh it’s a cello case + it’s the brother’s gf (Eun Gyeol wouldn’t steal his brothers gf right?)

wait lol what’s happening i got so confused. + the weak hero class guy intro (not park jihoon), is he the landlady's kid all grown up?

oh lol anonymous busking

Well the random watching 15 mins and go to bed didn’t quite work out bc i did go to bed but finished the ep on my ipad instead of sleeping lol it’s like 3AM now rip

As I was watching, occasionally, I’d be like Oh that’s Shinwoo from 18 Again. Slightly wrong, the name was Shi Woo, but why do I remember even that fr?

No time travelling yet but a good start.

Was looking at the r/kdrama On-Air posts and it started off with posts w 100+ comments, then 200+, then 300+, and the final one has 800+ comments lol, did it blow up after the show finished airing or was almost at the end?

Episode 2 (Jan 19)

The secondary guy and the cello girl are both annoying right now but I assume they'll both grow, get better, etc. like firstly my guy why are you following around and stalking this girl T.T if he wasn't so overwhelmingly charming/endearing and we weren't seeing his side, it'd come off much creepier. and she's obviously like being forced to be in a strict schedule because of her family or whatever (wearing the pink dress while longingly looking at the black one lol) and she'll stop being the "ice queen" as time goes on, but idk I feel like there are characters who are kinda snobby but makes you like them regardless, whereas she's not quite hitting that for me

but him getting embarrassed about his open pants zipper and running away while covering his face was cute tho

hmm this older man (Yoon Dong Jin) was in a band in high school and he's the only one of the members who still does music... was Eun Gyeol's dad in this band perhaps? and was he the one who had the big accident to make him deaf?

This new band thing for Eun Gyeol happened so fast, tbh like no camaraderie? No getting to know the band members?

broo the landlady hit the dad's car? are we joking lmao

relying on a kid for interpreting serious matters is just So Much pls just write or text amongst adults

And also the father making his son say inflammatory stuff to the landlady (or the mother to that ingredient seller beforehand) instead of writing it on their own like cmon

okay at least they mentioned that there was a professional translator for the police convo, she was late but then again, c'mon let's use some writing utensils. they texted Byeong Ho when he was a kid

girl not this Mess in this band + the Eun Gyeol spilling his guilt and guts about the fire incident

The thing is I feel no desire to watch Eun Gyeol go back to this band. I want him to follow his dreams, do music, etc but not necessarily with these people - specifically that drummer guy agh

this fawking guitar T.T I knew Grandpa left it for Ha Eun Gyeol in his will

I knewwww I shouldn't have started this episode before finishing my important, pressing university lecture. Anyway I'm stopping at 42mins for now, hope I can do homework for an hour before coming back here lol. okay I did homework for an hour :)

Oh yeah, I forgot I thought the ice cream shop guy might've been grown up landlady's son but I don't think so anymore ig since when would he have hit the father with the car? + his name's Lee Chan (update: Yi Chan). I briefly thought he was the young father maybe but like him and Eun Gyeol are connected through the cello girl

oh wait, the tiktok I saw of the deaf girl falling and getting dirty water on some pretty, popular was in the current timeline? Idk why I thought maybe it was his mom in the previous timeline or smth

oh girl this girl gave the cello girl the shirt and then leaving, fuck don't say lesbians they're not lesbians you're just gonna get your heart broken but...

plsss not the rock band t-shirt making Yi Chan think she likes bands

oh does the deaf girl like Yi Chan or something? In the poster, Eun Gyeol and cello girl (Se Kyeong) are on one side while Yi Chan and newly introduced deaf girl are in the other side hmmm

okayyy the hyung is on Eun Gyeol's side

naurrrrr is this landlady gonna take a photo of Eun Gyeol holding a cigarette? my guy already drinks while underage, let's not get into this too

oh lol pls not a photo but thinking he's doing drugs with them

ahhh and then the landlady throwing it back in the father's face like okay okay some of these are correct (well he's playing at the club... but he does drink) but yikess

wait what happened to his mask?

oh fuck (father-son confrontation)

oh fuck again (when Eun Gyeol's saying he's not his father's trophy nor an interpreter nor an alarm nor an angel)

of fuck (not his father saying you should've told be more, should've convinced me but Eun Gyeol being like how? you can't even hear like D: girl)

oh fuck Eun Gyeol leaving without even saying sorry for the last part

I get him a little bit because it really is so suffocating to live under your parents' expectations and he had sooo much responsibility thrust onto him

he was about to smash the guitar?! girl

oh magic ooh~

girl he's selling the guitar? the grandfather's guitar? well i'm assuming it'll come back to him again but oh wow this really is a 16/17 year old (18 yo in Korean age)

Okayyyy so Yi Chan really is Eun Gyeol's father as a youngster? and the deaf girl is his mother? And the cello girl is maybe the woman who is the Viva Music grandfather's daughter? Because when we saw the woman move into the house with her cello daughter, we didn't see the daughter's face. So this Se Kyeong is actually the mother from when she was younger?

Yknow early in Ep 2 when it moved from Eun Gyeol leaving the band practice to Yi Chan asking his friend for Se Kyeong's contacts + the hijinks with the cello performance, it really did seem like we went to the past/another dimension but I was like hmm maybe not.

ahhh indeed musician Yoon Dong Jin's high school band Fake First Love Memory Makers included Ha Eun Gyeol's dad Ha Yi Chan. I'm guessing the

so he really didn't know his dad could hear and speak in the past. I thought they knew

Okay, I'm glad we moved to the past! I'm excited to see how this goes.

Let's see if I can finish up my homework and other stuff for the day before I end up picking up ep 3. Hopefully the reddit on-air commentary + searching for this show's first week gifs keeps me busy for I crave the next ep.

Episode 3 (Jan 20)

lmaoo the “phone cal to Dong Jin’s gyubgeon was funny”

so Eun Gyeol is gonna take over real life Yoon Dong Jin’s identity? how will this affect the future?

lol he was running bc he needed to go to the bathroom? i thought lat ep he was being chased or smth

cryingggg i love the hijinks that happen at first when the person who time traveled or whatever doesn’t yet realize they need to act normal and go wild with the first interactions like with 18 Again turning into a teenager but claiming to be aging Shia’s father

plss Eun Gyeol staring so intently at his father

lol okay i was glad that these guys were just exceptionally dumb and being fooled by eun gyeol into believing he’s Yoon Dong Jin and that he didn’t successfully somehow fool everybody ever

ahh so true Eun Gyeol is like wtf my dad joined a band not for the music but for a girl and that girl isn’t even my mother !

I hope Yoon Chung Ah (the mother) gets some proper story as a youngin because she wasn’t there much as an adult and even when she was, it was like she just wanted the dad to be happy hmm

I fucking wish they were lesbians talking about Frida Kahlo lesbians sharing headphones

plssss his dad had told them that Eun Gyeol’s mom was his first love??? Eun Gyeol finding out so much about his father

ahh the mother keeping everything from them about her life and saying it’s a secret till they’re older

ah, Eun Gyeol talking about how he stopped being curious about his parents lives because he thought he knew enough…

oh shit he’s homeless rn

waittt so Yoon Dong Jin’s life is now changed fr since he joined a diff band and not this one

TODO: change Lee Chan -> Yi Chan

auuauauah Se Kyeong giving a ticket for the band concert she’s going to Yoon Chung Ah

how bad is the bullying/fighting gonna be for the other girls against Chung Ah? i wasn’t prepared for super bad bullying

okay Yi Chan and Chung Ah met but also Eun Gyeol and Se Kyeong met and I’m hoping nothing romantic happens between them lol and also I don’t want him to get together with Se Kyeong’s daughter either as if through some sort of transitive property

Episode 4 (Jan 20)

ohhh Se Kyeong started doing cello to impress her mother and fill in the space of her dead daughter

ohh so that the Viva Music grandfather was her adoptive father

plsss not Eun Gyeol asking young Se Kyeong why her older self didn’t come to his concert nearly 3 decades in the future with her daughter

but wait her first love was also a “bandman” um so she ended up liking Yi Chan? maybe she meant her first love (Chung Ah) was a bandman lover

omg? Chung Ah’s flashback to some ripe strangling her or smth?

simultaneously thinking that Chung Ah and Yi Chan are cute while mourning Chung Ah and Se Kyeong. The girls won’t become enemies or something later, will they? Can’t handle another True Beauty tragedy

dang, somebody else trying to fuck with Se Kyeong so she thinks Eun Gyeol was sent by them?

ohhh her biological father…

but would he be the guitarist guy since the flower man already looks p old and like he had white hair when Se Kyeong was a teen?

pls Eun Gyeol hiding behind a tree is killing me so bad

lolll Yi Chan having to team up with Eun Gyeol to escape grandma’s wrath

lol getting tested by great grandmother on math. oh yeah i forgot he was doing reeeeally well at school and was supposed to be a doctor or whatever

wait wtf sudden realization that the hyung with the long hair and bad music and Yoon Dong Jin knower pretender is maybe Mr Viva Music grandpa? but he’s supposed to be at least a decade older than Eun Gyeol’s dad + he’s not Se Kyeong’s either dad so maybe not

Eun Gyeol watching his father and great grandmother sing and dance and remembering her and wondering about his joyous dad and crying ahhh family

they sleep the same way omg - Chung Ah’s stepmother chairwoman evil

not Chung Ah setting up her crush Yi Chan with Se Kyeong bc he likes her

I can’t believe Chung Ah’s ruining my lesbian ship dreams like this like Se Kyeong is literally waiting for you at the concert?!?!

bro Yi Chan is such a fucking menace why is he yelling Se Kyeong’s name in the middle of the street girl i’m embarrassed

no like I fully understand why Se Kyeong is mad as fuck even though in this instant it’s not Yi Chan’s fault that he’s there

not Eun Gyeol showing up to have his dad’s back about the band lol

So is Se Kyeong really not impressed by Yi Chan still? good I hope her “I hate band stuff” is real and true and that she and Chung Ah don’t like the same guy (ideally they’d like each other but)

ahhh Eun Gyeol has realized The Accident that his father was in hasn’t yet happened and will happen (this year)

Also, I really do wonder about Yoon Dong Jin like his band memory forgetter whatever disbanded because a member got into a big accident but he’s not even a member anymore

I guess now Eun Gyeol will be trying very hard to prevent his father's accident.

Fun Fact: I knew about 18 Again and Twinkling Watermelon sharing actors (and having kinda similar concepts) but apparently Youth of May also comes into play

Show: Father - Son

18 Again: Lee Dohyun (young ver.) - Shi Woo/Eun Gyeol actor

Twinkling Watermelon: Eun Gyeol's dad (adult Yi Chan) - Eun Gyeol actor

Youth of May: Eun Gyeol's dad (adult Yi Chan actor) - Lee Dohyun

Episode 5 (Jan 20)

Ahh Eun Gyeol previously being like fuck they remember that I wasn't there the day of the fire and couldn't help my brother and he also remembers that there was a time he was drowning and was yelling but his family couldn't hear

The dad has already hinted twice about having his voice taken away/losing sound in his life, how did Eun Gyeol not catch on?

I know people are often into bromance (people being me. I watch half these no-romance, intense bromance shows with either it being a BL in my mind or thinking one of them likes the other romantically) but are they into this bromance or are they put off by the incest? I don't really care this time, I'm more invested in the lesbians because Se Kyeong is literally in love with Chung Ah to me

I do love Yi Chan's pretty girl mannerisms, playing at being an innocent girl being perved on lmfao

Eun Gyeol talking about how the reason he travelled to 1995 is to stop the accident from happening to his dad and hmm I'm pretty sure that's not it. My guess/hope would be he doesn't change too much from the past, the accident still happens, things still happen mostly as they would've without him, but he gets to spend time with and see and understand his parents in a new way

I'm sorry I'm really supposed to believe what Se Kyeong feels for Chung Ah is not lesbianism? Miss girl doesn't give a fuck about saying bye to her bf, is thinking about how she's never coming back to Korea when her best friend asks but is searching for Chung Ah in the airport crowds hoping she shows up?

plss "How should I learn an instrument and sing in 3 octaves in 3 days? Should I give birth to a son and bring him somehow?" and Eun Gyeol just sipping his drink

and Oh Ma Joo inadvertently insulting Eun Gyeol by insulting Yi Chan by insulting his hypothetical son

aw grandma's dream being to see Yi Chan go to college

"Why are you being so nice to me/helping me out all the time?" "Well you saved me a few times in my previous life"

bro Se Kyeong is literally writing a letter to Chung Ah, how is this not gay? At least one sided?

Eun Gyeol's cheeks just going up every time he's complimented and unable to not smile - Gunwook core tbh

auuuu Eun Gyeol eats just like Yi Chan and has the same preferences and has grandmother being like ll y'all acting like you're related ahh reminds me of that ML with mother-in-law with the beef meal scene

oh, so the Se Kyeong coming back and being rebellious wasn't a dream. Was that also how it was in the present timeline and she was lying when she said she was there from 11th grade until her dad died? Because if not and she just randomly came back this time unlike the original time hmm I feel like Eun Gyeol's existence in this timeline hasn't influenced her enough to do all that

Anyway, she seems more fun and loose now, so does she actually like bands? she did a rock guitar motion in the middle there once... so does she actually end up liking Yi Chan? or would it be Eun Gyeol or smth

waittt this random guitar store called White Night's owner is Se Kyeong's biological father and will likely become Mr Viva Music grandpa okayyy bad casting but sure

ah, Se Kyeong caught on that Eun Gyeol very explicitly doesn't want her around Yi Chan

Girl, Se Kyeong's home life exploding rn?

I remember someone on a reddit on-air thread was like maybe Se Kyeong's daughter also came back in the timeline and just looks exactly like her mother and I was wondering if this did happen but hmm, doesn't quite seem like it because she already knows everything that Se Kyeong is supposed to

nooo I get why Yi Chan feels so wronged but don't yell at Chung Ah !!

Wait... his dad met his mom at 20 after going to a sign language class... I guess in the original timeline, Chung Ah just saw Yi Chan chasing Se Kyeong (while harbouring a crush from the bookstore incident) but Yi Chan didn't know her and this time because Yi Chan was escaping from Eun Gyeol, he ran into that other PE teacher who he had to run away from and thus ran into Chung Ah closet. And I guess if that didn't happen, Chung Ah wouldn't have given that concert ticket and that whole fiasco wouldn't have happened, neither with Yi Chan and Chung Ah nor with the jam session at the concert that Eun Gyeol stepped into.

Finally Eun Gyeol meeting his mom - Chung Ah!

not the meeting of all 4 of them in front of the ice cream shop

Insane ending, straight to ep 6 oof

Episode 6 (Jan 20)

damn, they sent Cheong Ah's mother away? D:

Her fuckass dad took her mom who knows where and brought in the stepmother fucking immediately? crazy

ah, her trying to teach Cheong Ah to speak (cruelly too) instead of teaching her sign language

and isolating her as punishment helllll

wait, so Cheong Ah doesn't properly know sign language because of this?

omgggg not the party where Se Kyeong played cello and Yi Chan had his zip open being in Cheong Ah's backyard where she's not allowed to attend

This would've happened regardless of Eun Gyeol interference right? So in original timeline, the mother must've liked the father for a longass time before properly meeting

omg Yi Chan making Se Kyeong wait to go apologize to Cheong Ah

but then being a dumbass bro what

the watermelon keychain + Viva La Vida belonging to Cheong Ah? girl everybody and everyone connected in this story fr lol

no she's fr playing with Yi Chan (convincing myself she's just going through it and doesn't like Yi Chan fr and there'll be no fight or sadness between her and Cheong Ah about liking him)

she doesn't remember how he knows her address?

ah fuck so scary, Se Kyeong really has a noose in her room

You know with the guitar playing and now skating, whenever it shows the bottom half of them doing the activity without their face in frame, I wonder if that's a stunt double or whatever?

fawk, if I wasn't rooting for Yi Chan + Cheong Ah out of principle and I didn't know that Se Kyeong is really fucking going through it and mostly just messing with Yi Chan, I would've really rooted for her and Yi Chan in its current form (her being bold as hell, showing up in a motorcycle and bringing tickets for a theme park date while Yi Chan is nervous and shy despite being a very boisterous boy with a very healthy dose of ego)

Eun Gyeol doing his best to 1) make sure his dad doesn't get into an accident and 2) ruin his dad's date with another girl

Eun Gyeol and Se Kyeong antagonisms are fun

How would you react to somebody thinking you have a crush on your real father lmfao anyway brings me back to what the BL fans are making of this relationship

personally not really into fictional character incest either but otherwise, I would've actually been really into the bromance, it's so funny Eun Gyeol speedily catching Yi Chan in his arms while pushing away Se Kyeong while all the other guys go to save Se Kyeong

pls they all think they're dating or smth

and now Se Kyeong being like oh do you like me actually?

I actually really could be into Eun Gyeol and Se Kyeong too (have I said this about every single pair out of these 4 except Eu Gyeol and Cheong Ah?), they're funny in their antagonisms as I said

Also, she kinda reminds me of Beyond Evil Minjeong with this new personality

also I'm into noona romance lol but would def prefer that he's not in HIGH SCHOOL

damn, tough fight and Eun Gyeol leaving

Ah, as expected, if he goes back to 2023 now, it'd be to a very different time

oh I thought he was gonna get shocked from touching his electric guitar in the rain but mic works too

ah, so it has indeed been Se Kyeong's daughter? since the out of order phone rang? When Se Kyeong didn't know how Eun Gyeol knew her address, I was like hmmmmm but it seems too hard for her to know all the rest, so I thought no. I also thought she'd say I'm from the future when Eun Gyeol first confronted her about why she came back and he was like being like loll your reason can't be worse/weirder than mine

Episode 7 (Jan 21)

First thing in the morning, watching the next ep rip

Ah, people in the on-air thread were mentioning that the lugagge tag was Eun Yoo when she came from America in ep 3

Also, I wonder whether Eun Yoo knows that Eun Gyeol isn't supposed to be there? she's never properly met him in the present timeline. ig it'll be fun when they realize the other's from the future too? and then they'll fall in love, which is good bc I was afraid that Eun Gyeol was gonna fall for Se Kyeong here or smth and then settle for like lookalike daughter in the original present timeline who was obviously a different person

not Se Kyeong emulating her mother in a bad way toward her own daughter

hearing adult Se Kyeong talk about her first love being a bandman is so funny because like well first of all, you were in love with a girl: Chung Ah. also, it kinda makes me think that despite her saying her first love was a bandman who was bright as sunshine, cheerful, and manly, it's somehow not Yi Chan because like she mentioned the boy who started a band for her but didn't mention he's her first love. Makes me think it's Eun Gyeol or smth but they barely had any interactions fr and like I don't think adult Se Kyeong had met teenage Eun Gyeol

ah, she really is going back to stop them from getting married and getting together with somebody else instead (although... can't Se Kyeong just do the same stuff as original tl since she's in America? and even if not, her pretending to have a relationship with Yi Chan isn't gonna make it happen fr - although maybe she thinks that if she can get herself and Yi Chan in a relationship and bring Se Kyeong back, she'll get together with her first love easily)

loll the $1 bills never having been changed

okay indeed Se Kyeong's first love isn't Yi Chan

loll Eun Yoo's gonna think her first love was Eun Gyeol despite Eun Gyeol not having been there in Se Kyeong's original teenage timeline

omg Se Kyeong wrote the letter/note in the concert ticket envelope... do I go check to see what she wrote? Okay I rechecked and it's nothing super romantic, just saying she was surprised that "you" were into bands and an invitation to go to the concert with her. but guys my lesbian goggles are just...

Yi Chan and Chung Ah are really cute fr I'm like :] :D :) watching them

naurr Eun Gyeol leaving and not taking the guitar pick (do we think somebody else - Mr. Viva grandpa - gets it and gives him back to him as a child)

Se Kyeong never had a meal with Eun Gyeol or Cheong Ah, so her first love is neither of them - lesbian dreams crashing once again. but who knows, maybe there was an event at Cheong Ah's house where they snuck together to eat food

but also funny that Eun Gyeol doesn't even appear on Eun Yoo's list of who Se Kyeong liked - does she know Eun Gyeol is a future kid too?

oh lol she just thinks Eun Gyeol likes men but him liking men wouldn't mean Se Kyeong still couldn't like him.

Since they're father and son and we established they eat the same way, I'd assume Eun Gyeol can also handle spicy food since Yi Chan's eating it like it's nothing

All these fucking photos of Eun Gyeol staring at Yi Chan I'm crying, no wonder Eun Yoo is convinced that he likes him

Eun yoo saying Eun Gyeol makes her heart flutter somehow...

plss naught eun gyeol making money writing essays etc

auuuuu this is the part time to buy yi chan a guitar

oof yi chan realizing how he treated eun gyeol

naur Cheong Ah losing Yi Chan and Yi Chan getting beat up

ah, Cheong Ah and Eun Yoo meeting, in my head Eun Yoo will realize who Se Kyeong really loved is Cheong Ah

omg they really beat the shit outta Yi Chan and he's feeling so abandoned too

omg Ha Eun Gyeol going back to 2023 by trying to smash his guitar. I guess we'll see how his (+ Eun Yoo's) actions have affected the current timeline

They need to stop making the last scene of the episode sooo intriguing all the time smh I should really really really really do some homework and chores right now

Episode 8 (Jan 21)

aghhhh I'm starting ep 8 immediately, maybe I'll find some willpower in the middle there to pause and do some things I have to

Where's Eun Gyeol's bag? and he's also running away without his guitar

fuck kid don't be too happy, I don't think something good is awaiting you

oh waittt okay they're not too bad but I'm scared that the mother will not be Chung Ah...

but also in this universe, why does the dad not realize his son looks exactly like his teenage scam artist friend with the same name lmfao (ig he actually named baby Eun Gyeol after his friend who disappeared)

damn, he's even telling the story of his "dream" how is the father not being like haha. my son was my tutor back then. and is chill about it? how does he not remember?

okay I shouldn't think too much because how are Eun Gyeol and his brother born when their mother isn't the same - Se Kyeong instead of Chung Ah? And in that case, shouldn't Eun Yoo also exist?

okay, was that a dream and a glimpse into what it would be like but not fr what it's like? Anyway, does them getting married mean Yi Chan really was Se Kyeong's first love?

ohhh he's gonna meet Cheong Ah properly soon

ah Eun Yoo not remembering Cheong Ah

alskdfasl;kdfa;sdlkf jskldf ja;dklsf Cheong Ah seeing Se Kyeong-Eun Yoo be able ask for help and communicate with Yi Chan while she's not able to nooooooo

aksldjflksajflkasdfj passing by Cheong Ah and Eun Gyeol realizing just a bit too late and having guards stop him from following her as she calls her Mom

Se Kyeong's friend is Cheong Ah's step sister and theoretically Eun Gyeol's aunt. Also, what's that mom doesn't like you see the brother with the Attorny man? Is he gay?

god the evil stepmother and daughter and useless+evil stepson

auuuuu Eun Gyeol is here and signing with Cheong Ah but she doesn't know sign T.T but she does know Eomma sign lol

The father also seems evil if this has been going on for like a decade or whatever...

also is Yi Chan gonna find Eun Gyeol's guitar pick by any chance in the hospital?

stop wasting time with Yi Chan's galavant tale of 10 v 1, let me go back to Cheong Ah and Eun Gyeol

plsss "Yoon Cheong Ah found you" "Your friend Yoon Chung Ah?" "My friend Yoon Chung Ah?!" and her being like hmmm yeah! so true! we got close because she's easy to talk to! and he's like huh? isn't she hearing impaired? and Eun Yoo being like she is?!

laskdjfkl;sdfj so true Eun Yoo's dad is her mother's boyfriend (to be?) and she's pretending to be her mother T.T

Are we not seeing the Cheong Ah's dad and Eun Gyeol convo right now...

hehehhe so fun to have Eun Yoo and Eun Gyeol both thinking like oh fuck is he my mom's first love and noooo she can't marry my dad and be my mom because they don't know the other is from their own timeline. i hope they figure it out before the end of the ep

pls Eun Gyeol falling for Eun Yoo thinking she's Se Kyeong - and Eun Yoo has also had slip ups thinking of liking Eun Gyeol

auuu not Eun Gyeol being mean to Eun Yoo so that Se Kyeong doesn't end up with Yi Chan but idk what being mean to her would even do, but rip Eun Yoo getting hurt because of it

They're both such rascals, it's fun

aghhhhh Yi Chan not getting to talk to Cheong Ah (was it true she said no or did the step mother just decide) and then missing Eun Gyeol as he goes to that same house...

so is Cheong Ah's father like lowkey not evil or what? giving Eun Gyeol room and board to teach Cheong Ah sign?

also does Cheong Ah remember Yi Chan asking her if she knows someone names Ha Eun Gyeol?

oh he's a jerk nevermind fucker

Adult Cheong Ah teaching baby Eun Gyeol sign and now teenage him teaching teenage her sign

ah fuck him crying like his mom taught it to him as a child but now seeing that she didn't know how to sign when she was his age and was being treated this way by her family

pls my parents are... in another world right now

ohh Eun Gyeol basically being Cheong Ah's interpreter right now

pls the way Se Kyeong and Cheong Ah both know where Eun Gyeol is and now he's also enrolled in the other high school but the band doesn't know rip

plss Eun Gyeol going heart eyes over Eun Yoo but acting cold and mean smhhhh asshold

plsss not the fucking school band performance from first love memory makers at Eun Gyeol-Cheong Ah-Se Kyeong's school

oh wow I wish Eun Gyeol and Yi Chan weren't father-son or that I wasn't so icked out by fictional parent/child incest because this fucking I love you Ha Eun Gyeol song is crazy, it's like a confession scene

also so funny that apparently nobody has caught on that Se Kyeong is right there

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

lmfao I'm dying now he's like yes I'll come back to the band but you can't date Choi Se Kyeong because EYE like her

Episode 9 (Jan 21)

I took like a 30 minute break from this show to do some stuff that needed to be done before coming back here lol

aiaksdlfjaskldfjskadlf Eun Gyeol getting punched by Yi Chan instead of getting chosen omgggg

omg Eun Gyeol landing a punch on Yi Chan as well?

girl this is too much excitement for me

plsss Eun Gyeol cooing over hurting Yi Chan

This show lovessss a hair clutching fight

not the parallel running away now with En Gyeol and Eun Yoo (as Se Kyeong)

Eun Gyeol about Eun Yoo as Se Kyeong when she goes on about him using her as a shield/beard so that he doesn't have to come out about liking Yi Chan: Ajhumma was ahead of her time

Does Eun Yoo think now that Eun Gyeol probably did fall in love with Se Kyeong at first sight and maybe had smth with her mom and her mom's first love fr and is why she's easily being like okay :)

her kabadoning him so true

so true, what does somebody even make of this situation - new guy who comes in to help Cheong Ah gets in a fight with another guy from a diff school over a girl and said girl is actually supposed to be in the US

This is so funny because he's probably like I'm doing aegyo to my mom :) in his head but it comes off maybe romantic and Eun Yoo (and me...) are like aww he's cute

not the physical punishment at school

ahh Eun Yoo not knowing whether she wants him to be able to eat the food or not bc she's conflicted about whether she wants him to be the first love or not, esp because he'd be with her mother

and Eun Gyeol asking about the answer to his confessions omg

serenading Se Kyeong? who is it if not Yi Chan?

poor Eun Gyeol "Why are mom and dad both doing this to me?"

lmao now they're gonna be competing about Se Kyeong on stage - meaning they'll both serenade her? lol

paused the show to go read the ep 7&8 on-air thread and somebody mentioned Yoon Dong Jin being a possible first love for Se Kyeong and it feels really possible since he was that band's original guitarist. Other people are saying it's probably actually still Ji H wan (her bf/ex-husband) and she's just reminiscing about what it used to be like and it'll be ironic that despite trying to search for a new guy and forge a new path for her mom, she's still looking for her dad.

The fact that Eun Gyeol still thinks of Eun Yoo as Se Kyeong as Ajhumma

lol idk why I'm so endeared by Eun Gyeol and Eun Yoo

Eun Yoo being like am I your two's toy? You can just decide whatever? at being told Yi Chan and Eun Gyeol aren't allowed to see her till the festival so true

Did Eun Yoo learning sign because of Eun Gyeol's hyung?

ah, Yi Chan saw Cheong Ah's drawing of him...

Eun Yoo is so real and true about "playing" with both Eun Gyeol and Yi Chan because they also keep playing with her

Also Eun Gyeol is kinda cruel fr for asking Eun Yoo to like him back/pass him the ball while he thinks she's Se Kyeong and as a ploy to get her away from Yi Chan. I know he likes her kinda a bit but still...

Are we supposed to think that they kissed? No right, because it wasn't even an angle kiss... Just that Eun Gyeol leaned in while Eun Yoo didn't?

Episode 10 (Jan 21)

Menace Eun Gyeol breaking up with his brother's GF and making it worse T.T

waitttt Eun Gyeol was breaking off with 4 of 5 of his hyung's GFs? girl mans is too much 5???

plsss not the "you grew up well" flashback just as they were gonna kiss

oh we really did get a kiss (even if it's close lipped and stiff)

al;skdfj;askdf not only did Yi Chan ask whether Chung Ah likes him but Chung Ah answered truthfully

oh Eun Gyeol's gonna think Yi Chan said both what he said and what Se Kyeong said... I guess that's okay? idk

The Chainwoman stepmother is just too much

I need Eun Gyeol and Eun Yoo to find out that they're from the future soon pls

oh fuck Eun Yoo's friend committed suicide... why did Se Kyeong become SUCHHH a bad mother though tf telling her "don't let ppl say you became #1 because your friend committed suicide"

Ahh Eun Yoo really is in a very bad mental space

aw Chung Ah being like it's fine ik you like Se Kyeong, we can still be friends

Grandpa Choi isn't the one who's the helper that the guy sent you but he's literally Mr. Viva Music Grandpa

Dying at Eun Gyeol being alert at every mention of Helper now

alskdfj Yoon Dong Jin so funny

Oh Ma Joo the only person with braincells cuz I was like why are they running away T.T

Them getting beat up by the other band members for the 2nd time bc of Yoon Dong Jin, so funny

plsss soooo close to finding out that Eun Yoo sold the guitar to La Vida fuckkk he was even like oh could she be my helper??? aksdflaksdfj lkEun Yoo you should've saiddddd

Oh, Cheong Ah's Viva La Vida watermelon keychain comes from the painting by Frida Kahlo but I wonder how it relates to Viva and La Vida music stores

ah Yi Chan and Chung Ah so cute

ah fuck Eun Gyeol literally saying he's from the future and saying Se Kyeong's future to Eun Yoo, they musttt be getting closer to finding out about the other, right?

ahh Viva La Vida being told to Eun Gyeol by Yi Chan (adult) who was told about it by Chung Ah

It's sooo funny that Eun Gyeol approves so quick whenever Yi Chan does something for/gets something from Chung Ah. Like changing the band name and designs because Yi Chan said Chung Ah can design it. And now agreeing to watermelon stuff because he realizes Chung Ah taught Yi Chan about Viva La Vida

omg??? wait so okay the accident happened before the band festival... and the band also didn't go to the festival (meaning Se Kyeong's first love is someone else. and since Yoon Dong Jin also didn't go... probably just her Ji Hwan fr lol or she's making it up like some comments suggest)

The watermelon painting by Frida Kahlo is reminding me of Palestinian resistance as well.

Episode 11 (Jan 21)

I can seriously barely wait between watching episodes aghh

oh Kang Hyeon Yool beat up the gangsters for beating up Yi Chan, so that's how he ended up being injured too at the hospital

but what's this about Do Jin coming back... and maybe being stabbed in the back...

ohh Jindo dogs means gang members lol I thought it was a joke about him fighting with some real dogs when in fact he got beat up randomly or smth

oh damn, are these gangsters gonna try to get Yi Chan to get at Hyeon Yool('s weakness)? I'm gonna assume it wouldn't really work because it feels like it should be more ironic of an injury or smth

Not the girls urging Eun Yoo to keep Ha Eun Gyeol as a public option, as a humanitarian action lmao

plss every boy and girl falling over themselves for the same student is so silly but Eun Yoo and Eun Gyeol being those said students and dating would be a slay

lolol Eun Yoo being jealous about Eun Gyeol readily receiving the flirting/compliments/gifts with a smile and threatening him for it

ooh Eun Gyeol can't handle spice

okayyy I was wondering if Eun Yoo was also like "Eun Gyeol's an old man. An ajumma. not my first love, my mother's" the way Eun Gyeol was thinking Ajhumma about Eun Yoo as Se Kyeong

Maybe the accident isn't actually related to Yi Chan? But Kang Hyeon Yool and the Jindo dogs gang? Because of the way this info is being framed

Aw fuck, Eun Gyeol trying to stop Yi Chan going to the rehearsal which is obviously sounding ridiculous to him as expected but also Yichan saying despite Eun Gyeol pretending to have been innocent, he can sense something impure going on with him... crazy

plsss Eun Yoo convincing heself Eun Gyeol is ugly and old now and being like "Reality hit I'm so put off now" but immediately rushing to get dolled up when Eun Gyeol comes

dying, they sent Yi Chan to some fucking mountain island while they'll go on a date to the movies afterwards, menaces frrrr T.T

but also can you just figure out the future 2023 thing rn pls like quickly

mourning my Se Kyeong liking Chung Ah theories while seeing Eun Yoo and Chung Ah conversing

lmaoo Chung Ah menace as well, saying it looked like Eun Yoo liked Eun Gyeol more before going abroad

Anyway, crazy that Eun Gyeol was like ah yes, to protect my father, I will send him to a high up rocky mountain surrounded by water wtf

ah shit Eun Gyeol straight up just saying the future stuff to Yi Chan, woah

but ofc Yi Chan wouldn't believe him but maybe after something happens to Kang Hyeon Yool during the rehearsal?

girl wtf what if your father didn't know how to swim yet???? or couldn't help you by fucking jumping from a mountain be fr like why are you causing accident-prone situations to prevent accidents I'm crying. It makes me nervous that indeed it will be because of Eun Gyeol that an accident will happen that makes Yi Chan lose his hearing

oh fuck the way the lights fell on the stage and nobody got hurt... does that mean Yi Chan would've been injured or somebody else would've been but since Eun Gyeol made them come down to hear Oh Ma Joo, that other person was spared too

T.T Eun Gyeol just hugging and clutching Yi Chan while crying

Anyway, I need somebody to call Yi Chan and tell him about the incident or to see them tell him and have him realize that maybe Eun Gyeol is telling the truth

ayo why didn't they tell him about the incident at school with the lights falling on stage bruh

Eun Gyeol and Eun Yoo are just cute man

ohh I'm scared that they're legit having a rehearsal still

girl a fucking Squid Game reference and he's like hmmm ? and that's it?

girl, nawt Eun Gyeol fucking getting into a car accident on the way there tf

and yet he's still there to beat the shit out of that guy lol gj

ah fuck he thinks he prevented his dad losing his hearing but hmmmmm hm hm hm

Okay I should... finish up my 20 minute task for the day and then go to sleep. will that happen? I guess this document in the future knows better than I do right now.

Episode 12 (Jan 21)

Oof, ended up being like 40 minutes and now it's 12am but I'm a dumbass, so I'm starting next episode.

Awoo Eun Yoo waiting for Eun Gyeol but rip, can't blame him for running and not contacting her, mans got kinda run over by a car and still made it there for his father

Not only do they eat the same, they also dry themselves after bath the same

pls Eun Gyeol going back on the future thing with an excuse

I know we're supposed to be happy that the evil stepmother is being thwarted by the father but the way he treats his supposed wife is gross ew head of house blagh

oof, Eun Yoo's aversion to being a trophy and her being like you (and Yi Chan) are "hunting" and competing for me like ahhh so true, that's what I said

girl the way literally nobody wants Eun Yoo to choose Yi Chan for this contest, including Yi Chan himself even if he doesn't know it

Chung Ah's little gift ow

I can't believe Yi Chan's dream where he and Eun Yoo have a beautiful conversation while his son Eun Gyeol is ignored and pushed around is coming true lmfao

ah, so indeed it was her father who was her mom's first love

ah man Eun Yoo being mistaken as Viva Grandpa's daughter Se Kyeong and her not recognizing him...

Yi Chan changing the fucking song at the last minute I'm dead

ah Yi Chan moping about Se Kyeong but then going to see Chung Ah, yes!

ah fuck this Eun Yoo and Eun Gyeol convo - hard for me to disagree with her is the thing but also the ending with they're from "different worlds"

Viva Music grandpa again without knowing it's him

good god so much rejection and angst

The Eun Gyeol and Eun Yoo romance feels like A Lot from his side because like what are you even planning to doooo bro you're from different timeline but sure ig it's worth a romantic rain under umbrella moment

4 more episodes left ah

I'm scared to go check the tags because it'll be in November and like I don't wanna get spoiled yknow. Have to make sure to not look at a single gif after Nov 5th ig

Episode 13 (Jan 22)

They better learn about each other being from the future this episode!!!

I need to watch a noona romance one of these days is what I’ve realized. get some college kid with a noona/perhaps ajhumma fr cuz here he thinks she might be one but she isn’t and 18 Again was a fake noona romance lol

he saw the fucking luggage tagggg look harder dumbass!!

Im watching this in my bed in the dark on my ipad and the oh… the two of us are alone in this house… realization is killing me

air pod fuckkkkk find it out look at the luggage harder now that you’re taking it upstairs

is that how you’re supposed to put out fires?

im confused isn’t it a night with two moons right now? i guess not

but when is eun gyeol gonna fucking look at the anxiety meds in his pocket cmonnn

them referring to Eun Gyeol as Yi Chan’s son so funny

ahh Chung Ah saying I’ll manage it on my own, don’t you trust me? about Yi Chan to Eun Gyeol, she’s so cool

ahhhh Eun Gyeol started liking Eun Yoo after she came back from the US meaning it was her and not Se Kyeong. she’s so happy to hear it hehe

I saw gifs of Chung Ah with a cat

Yi Chan’s stalking habits never change

bro he’s just giving her back the anxiety meds? was nothing about 2023 meds suspicious

it’s Eun Yoo’s motorcycle why can’t she sometimes drive while he rides at the back

don’t throw anxiety meds away

ahhh Yi Chan confessing to and signing and singing to Chung Ah

ahh hug

finallyyyy they realize and with no help from their BRAINS just mere chance that they run into each other with their phones

Episode 14 (Jan 22)

It’s legit 3:15 I should just go to sleep but… but… they finally found out about the other time traveller

wow them finally talking about who they each are

ahh Eun Gyeol being like I already stopped the accident from happening and i think i came here to stop my dad from losing his hearing

ah the connection between them being Mr Viva Grandpa - Eun Yoo own real grandpa sekyeong’s father

cryinggg Se Kyeong just passing off BTS songs as her ideas

girl Eun Yoo learned sign language from some kid at the hospital who was charming… say it ain’t so (childhood meeting Eun Yoo and Eun Gyeol)

heheh teasing Eun gyeol about being born just fine, perhaps earlier than expected

is the evil stepmother not done omggg

i need the step mother ripped apart limb from limb and every bone in the father’s body broken for turning a blind eye for a decade

Awooo Eun Gyeol clutching and hugging his mom while crying after he finds her locked in

the grandma comforting cheong ah

Okay finally Eun Yoo has learned about Mr Choi Viva Music Grandpa Se Kyeong’s father

Ah, the hyung Eun Ho connection has come in. Eun Ho being the hospital friend is nice

still haven’t discovered the Viva Music Mr. Choi connecting you two

ah man as expected, Yi Chan’s accident hasn’t happened yet. what was the dateee is it in a few days I saw a glimpse of a gif of Eun Gyeol sitting in front of Yi Chan lying on a road

Episode 15 (Jan 22)

woke up and started this fml

dang they fought Jindo gang during rehearsal day during original tl too

brooo insane that we got to see the accident incident

also there’s always been the feeling that one of Yi Chan’s songs was the unfinished song that Viva Music grandpa gave to Eun Gyeol to finish but that seems almost certain now with him begging the guy to listen to his unfinished song and being turned away

also even in that original tl, was that Se Kyeong who came back from the US to talk to her bio dad? whose shoes were that

what did Eun Ho tell Eun Yoo that Eun Yoo didn’t understand?

ohh Eun Ho and Oh Ma Joo

aghhh this evil stepmother

Cheong Ah’s father so useless to me for real. It’s good when Cheong Ah’s slapping the stepmom, not him after having abandoned Cheong Ah to her clutches for 12 years agh

also I can’t ever tell if she’s actually a stepmom or not

pls let this be the end of stepmom it’s already middle of ep 15

not everybody leaving bc of Chung Ah’s food tasting bad but Yi Chan scarfing it down anyway

ah so nobody got hurt on the car accident. i was afraid Eun Yoo was gonna get run over instead

ahh don’t go to White Nights to see grandpa right now Ma Joo, either you’ll be injured or Yi Chan who’s gonna follow you will be injured

oh fucking fuck fuck fuck

this is both “trying to prevent the accident doesn’t mean it won’t happen” and “he’ll lose his hearing by trying to save Eun Gyeol” because it’s the same fucking car in the same place even if not the exact same time And it was to save Eun Gyeol man fuck but this is what I wanted because it’s got the irony and pain but doesn’t take away the disability

oh don’t fucking kill me, Yi Chan saying in the voice recording that Eun Gyeol lied to say he’s Yi Chan’s son but Yi Chan felt like Eun Gyeol was his father and felt fatherly love

The I’m sorry dad as he’s holding his injured, bleeding body and crying

Awoo hurts

Episode 16 (Jan 22)

Oh fuckass okay stepmom and family aren’t ever done i suppose

Also, it wasn’t same car as og timeline my bad but this time the car really was coming for Eun Gyeol and Yi Chan intercepting meant even more

Hit and run fucker hopefully Eun Yoo remembers the car number

not a fucking montage of Yi Chan’s college life and band and stuff possibilities

Aw fuck I didn’t tear up even once so far this show except this montage got me like firstly Eun Gyeol wouldn’t be here anyway even if the accident didn’t happen but yknow the accident did

It’s like in the present day, things are still good for the family and happy even if there are strains and conflict because that’s just life so it wouldn’t be too bad to go back but it hurts to know Yi Chan and the possibilities that didn’t happen in order to make the current life happen

okay so indeed Yi Chan can still speak, though he can’t hear

this fucking grandma and Yi Chan scene cryingggg

I don’t like this fucking dad but he is trying and did make Chung Ah smile laugh

girl what the hell you fuck you can’t fucking take Chung Ah away abroad without telling her i’ll fucking kill you you fucker i hated you through the whole thing and now it’s multiplied

Eun Yoo and Eun Gyeol giving some advice to Se Kyeong and grandpa respectively

Awooo Yi Chan Eun Gyeol last convo

what about Chung Ah tho like she doesn’t know about Yi Chan and is gonna be taken away

Okay I did think they were gonna be well off because of the Cheong Ah family thing now but didn’t expect them to live at that house

Ah, this future feels so unfamiliar despite everything, like everything is good and better but idk if I like it because it feels unearned and not like Eun Gyeol’s life

like he’s the only person who is himself while everyone else had much different experience and life as his original timeline yknow

okay so the dad has to kinda know now that his son really met him in the past bc he literally found the song To You Shining or whatever that he knew Eun Gyeol had

oh yeah I don’t care about Ghost9’s members rip

can you imagine if an idol in a kpop band was caught leaving his performance beforehand chants of encore and going outside to kiss a girl aldjjdkajs scandal

Eun Yoo knew the Master person was her grandpa Viva Music man but couldn’t figure out Eun Gyeol was from the future??

Ep 16 Wishlists:

longer ep, just by 20 minutes

A last Eun Gyeol and Chung Ah convo?

A Chung Ah and Yi Chan convo, cmon

A bit more of Eun Yu's life after coming back

Yi Chan having more people around him, whether be his bandmates or Chung Ah. like his grandma was there and that's good but I wanted Eun Gyeol to see that this time, he was saying goodbye to Yi Chan with more people arround him as support than the original timeline

Possibly a (coded?) convo between Eun Gyeol and Yi Chan about the time travel and the cassette or whatever. Maybe I should see if there's anything on AO3 for this because this seems more fanfiction's lane. I think I'm also okay that they don't quite seem to remember him except verrry hazy possibilities but the dad finding the voice tape is what's making me want more. At least Eun Yoo knows and is with Eun Gyeol in this not-quite-right world

Not even all necessary, at least could've fit 2-3 in. It's good that we don't get every single thing wrapped up because shows that have a bit of stuff open-ended for speculation retain audience/fans well and there's also the aspect of letting the 1995 characters live their lives on their own, trust them to succeed and make it to 2023 well, theme that goes well with us not seeing everything. But it still feels a Little empty ig

----

Time Travel Concept:

I guess something that's weird about time travel shows is that Eun Gyeol (and Eun Yoo) are the same people before going but with certain experiences (over the course of a couple weeks) whereas the people they have come back to have had different experiences for 28 years.

I wish they weren't famous as a family in the future. I'm glad they still had friends and I'm happy that they had money from Cheong Ah's side but... idk they're just different people when you're this rich and this influential and this famous. I wish they lived in a different house by themselves, even if a big rich people one, and that Chung Ah still did art and maybe Yi Chan could've participated in the Jinseng Instrument stuff but had his main job be something else, whether it be the restaurant or something else. There could be some influence allowed, like Chung Ah is a chaebol and a respected artist, Yi Chan somehow did smth similar to now but on a smaller scale, and Eun Gyeol as an up-and-coming band member who is recognized somewhat but not as famous to be chased down the street by a hoard of school girls.

Anyway, in the end, I'm glad Yi Chan didn't keep his hearing because in the show, it would've kind of undermined tings. Things happen, accidents happen, Yi Chan losing his hearing isn't the end of the world, he still deserves love and family and oppurtunity and for the world to accommodate his needs. The way he lost it was also good because despite Eun Gyeol's attempts, it happened that day and to save Eun Gyeol. Eun Gyeol's stint didn't change this specific aspect but it still changed a lot of things in a good way, leading to his new life in the future.

I just have to get used to these things in time-travelling shows where some people know about the magic while others don't, situations and people will be changed due to butterfly effect, etc. I guess I'm just unsettled by the fact that they have memories that Eun Gyeol does not and Eun Gyeol has ones they do not; that Eun Gyeol would've learned the guitar from somebody who is not Viva Music grandpa probably, etc. I'm trying to become less unsettled by the fact that they don't really remember Eun Gyeol because of magic and time logic or whatever and that they simply feel familiar to him.

As I was writing all this, I keep listening to You're Precious and My Song from the OST and ahh the You're Precious chorus really gets to me, feels like crying I don't get it the "ohhhh my love" literally brings tears to my eyes it has happened like 3 times now. and My Song is just so good in general.

General:

In 18 Again, the father wanted to pursue basketball after high school but had to give up due to teenage pregnancy and the kids and came back to his teen self where (among many other things) he got to play basketball in high school with his son. In this show, the father wanted to pursue music but lost his hearing and had to give that up but his son came to the past and got the chance to play in a band with his father and got to do the school festival he originally didn't get to do.

I'm fucking obsessed with this sort of concept.

It's got a good storyline, hilarious yet touching. Light-hearted but with many moments of weight. Entertaining to watch because why did I watch eps 13 and 14 and one of the earlier eps (2?) in bed on my iPad. We got to spend time with the different characters and pairs and the friend group together and it was vry fun.

There could be many pitfalls with the time traveling and the disability rep. I won't say there aren't any because some of the time loop stuff is kinda wonky if you look closely but I think that makes sense. I was really afraid that they'd make Yi Chan's hearing come back but I'm glad it didn't; it's just something that has to happen to him for no reason the way these things just happen sometimes.

The characters were well crafted and the acting was great. I liked all of them and each had moments of humour or emotions or romance and it was good.

Also, good faces sorry to say I'm shallow. Chung Ah gorgeous, gorgeous girl. I didn't find Se Kyeong attractive but the actress is sooo beautiful and charming as Eun Yoo (I know some people found her somewhat annoying but I liked her a lot). Ryeoun was really attractive as Eun Gyeol; when I first saw him in 18 Again, he was more posed as a loser kid and I was wowed by Lee Dohyun's face but here, he's so pretty and nice to look at and at certain angles, reminded me of Cha Eunwoo's face too (and a comment in this specific tiktok makes me think that it's not because I only know like 5 actors and so draw parallels between him and CEW lol). Then there were some other good faces too like Yi Chan sooo cute and round my pretty + the Kang Hyeon Yool guy was beautiful as well.

Kinda slow paced, there were certain episodes where I was like nothing really happened and we weren't closer to completing missions or finding out info but I guess that's the point of the slice of life aspect in some cases; just watching the characters exist alone and together.

Ships: I think I liked Chung Ah & Yi Chan more earlier on while I liked Eun Gyeol and Eun Yoo more later on. I was into the ChCh romance from the get-go and thought they were sooo cute whereas EunEun were a more fun menace pair who I just liked to watch fighting before it gradually became a couple I shipped Very Much. Also a shoutout to my Se Kyeong (OG, not Eun Yoo) and Chung Ah ship, I can't believe Se Kyeong's first love was her husband instead of Chung Ah (cold ice princess girl who is curbing every guy as they fall at her feet keeps chasing the girl who isolates herself to protect herself. Se Keyong asking about the Frida Kahlo painting and trying to bond over bands despite not liking it herself).

Well crafted show, good acting, hit some feels and I expect some attachment to it (I'm rewatching and skimming certain parts as I write lol).

Rating: 7.5/10 for now, could change 0.5 higher or lower in like a month as I assess my feelings

Tiktoks & Edits:

Tiktok: the ones in the first paragraph are ones I watched before starting and then there are a few I liked today after finishing (I just went to the tag, so they're some of the more liked ones). Might be my favourite of the edits: gets the vibe of youth, coming of age, sparkling shining twinkling

Twitter: Pre-dating euneun I miss u dearly (Song: How You Get The Girl - Taylor Swift) (uhmm_j)

Twitter: #CHEONGCHAN: cutest parents (Song: Summertime - Niki) (kdramazi)

#EUNEUN : the way I loved you (@uhmm_j)

#ep by ep commentary #twinkling watermelon

0 notes

haechanhues · 5 months ago

Text

get to know me game because i’m bored & want to annoy my friends!

birthday: jan 26

favourite colour: i am a loyalist purple lover

do you have pets? i have a cat in heaven, two cats and one dog but possibly two dogs in the near future

how tall are you? 5’4 / 5'5 I haven't checked since I was about 12.

how many pairs of shoes do you own? uhh the ones i actually wear are about three?

favourite song: mm not sure return of the mack by mack morrison is such a good one idk there's too many and it changes but any song that gets me all excited...

favourite movie: 1917

who would be your ideal partner? i like someone that's charming and can kind of fluster me somehow (it's not hard but it's kind of vague). i usually someone that can be perceived one way but be the complete other at the same time.

what colour socks are you wearing? black. shock hahaha

favourite type of music: give me any genre - but the five main genres i listen to; kpop, r&b, pop, hip hop, reggae.

how many pillows do you sleep with? 3!

what position do you sleep in? on my side

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping? idk i don't really care just don't wake me up when i'm tired and we're good.

what do you have for breakfast? usually nothing. i wait for brunch.

have you ever tried archery? yes. my brother used to own a bow and arrow and whenever we went to school camp....

favourite fruit: raspberries or rock melon!

are you a good liar? can be. i don't like it though, i'm usually quite blunt unless i think it'll really hurt someone's feelings or if i think they won't be able to take it.

what’s your personality type? it jumps between infp and intp.

left-handed or right-handed? right-handed

favourite food: anything pasta but lately it's been dumplings - paua dumplings too urghh so good.

favourite foreign food: ...imma say a home food now because that ^ is foreign food. but home food is creamed paua and a bit of fry bread. fuck me i'm hungry now.

am i clean or messy? a bit of both. feels so good to see clean but as soon as it's messy it gets really messy.

most used phrase: texting is 'sweeeet' or 'alg' and i try to stop it but can't. but in person.....i think i still say 'sweeeet' but i do say 'what do ya mean?!?!' a looot and i know i do because my mum pointed it out.

how long does it take for you to get ready? depends. i can get ready in 10 minutes tbh.

do you talk to yourself? yeah hahaha all the time.

do you sing to yourself? sometimes? every now and then.

are you good singer? no pfft. people think i can because that's a māori stereotype and my dad's side of the family can all sing (the girls at least)

biggest fear: trypophobia (this is not an invitation btw i will block you and i'm not joking.), rats and probably being alone or dying without doing the things i wanted to do hahaha

are you a gossip? yea

do you like long or short hair? long hair but right now it's short.

favourite school subject: history nerd. but also loved english and i used to do like advanced sciences until i had to be placed in a lower level because it interfered with history. OH and P.E.

extrovert or introvert: introvert. 'love you but please make your way out'

what makes you nervous? an overwhelming environment.

who was your first real crush? he was in the same year as i was. the first time i talked to him i asked if he could open up my food for me. i was smitten by him for years. he was a south african boy and had probably the nicest handwriting i've ever seen from the male species and that still hasn't changed.

how many piercings? 0.

how many tattoos? 1

how fast can you run? hope you're happy with jogging.

what colour is your hair? brown black. always get asked if i dye my hair because it's more brown when it's straightened and black when it's curly.

what colour are your eyes? hazel. but more brown then green.

what makes you angry? a lot too be honest. i've got anger issues and i don't have a healthy way of expressing it. so anything.

do you like your name? my pen name? yes. my actual name? yes.

what are your strengths? i think i read a room quite well and am quite observant of other people and what they want/need. quite honest and people like to rely on me for comfort a lot which i'm happy to do in moderation.

what are your weaknesses? I DON'T DO ANYTHING. like i'm a bystander in my own life sometimes. I wait for the perfect moment too much. i also think i'm quite aloof and cold whenever someone annoys me or i don't understand their logic.

what is the colour of your bedspread? uhh can't remember haven't been home for a couple weeks and they're new. i think they're a chocolate brown? but also i have a blue and white bedspread at home too. so either one is on the bed right now.

colour of your room: white and blue! (think the beach/greek islands)

i was tagged by miss @honeyciders 😭 so imma tag : @jisungsdaydreamer @seolboba @shwizhies @aspenwritesstuff @brownsugarbaybee and anyone else who wants to join

get to know me game because i’m bored & want to annoy my friends!

birthday: feb 22

favourite colour: sage green

do you have pets? yes i have a cat

how tall are you? 5’5 last time i checked (3 years ago)

how many pairs of shoes do you own? like four? a pair of sneakers, two pairs of sandals, and one pair of heels :)

favourite song: idk i listen to the same ten songs on repeat

favourite movie: tangled

who would be your ideal partner? kim mingyu/loki someone who is kind & friendly and tries to get to know me before asking me out

what colour socks are you wearing? i’m not wearing socks HAHA

favourite type of music: whatever genre arctic monkeys is (google said it was indie rock?) + pop/k-pop

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2!

what position do you sleep in? on my tummy or on my side

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping? people who move around a lot

what do you have for breakfast? coffee..........

have you ever tried archery? no i have not but i know my bsf used to do archery in high school & i think that’s so cool

favourite fruit: kiwis!

are you a good liar? nope i end up laughing

what’s your personality type? when i last took the test it was intp, but i think it may have changed now

left-handed or right-handed? right-handed

favourite food: gobi/paneer/baby corn manchurian

favourite foreign food: cheesecake

am i clean or messy? a bit of both

most used phrase: while texting, it’s probably “CRYING 😭😭😭”. irl it’s probably “i’m not even kidding”.

how long does it take for you to get ready? around forty five minutes maybe?

do you talk to yourself? only when i’m solving complex questions & i need to verbalise my thoughts

do you sing to yourself? all the damn time

are you good singer? i think so....?

biggest fear: darkness and failure LMFAO

are you a gossip? yes

do you like long or short hair? long hair

favourite school subject: when i was in school i really liked biology, maths and physics!

extrovert or introvert: ambivert

what makes you nervous? exams lol

who was your first real crush? there was this violin player who played at a concert in my house LOL i think i was in the 2nd grade

how many piercings? one on each ear!

how many tattoos? 0

how fast can you run? i used to run fast in, like, school competitions & stuff but now i can barely climb the stairs at uni without needing to sit down immediately after

what colour is your hair? black

what colour are your eyes? black/dark brown?

what makes you angry? misogyny. also this one Guy in my class

do you like your name? like my pen name or my real name because i love both

what are your strengths? no matter how much i dislike/complain about a task i will always get it done on time. & i think i’m Enthusiastic about Certain Things and if i set my mind to something, i will get it no matter what

what are your weaknesses? i’m SUPER indecisive and impulsive and i overthink a lot

what is the colour of your bedspread? currently it is light blue with orange floral patterns

colour of your room: pink and yellow!

this was so many questions but i found it somewhere and i was bored so 😭 tagging the gc fellows @liliansun @alohajun @haechanhues & @rum-gone-why

#tag game

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tarobytez · 3 years ago

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disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant.

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist.

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is.

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”.

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me.

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.

Oh fucking boy.

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully.

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled.

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability.

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community.

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged.

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people.

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted.

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows.

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

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double-hoe-seven · 3 years ago

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AFC Richmond as boyfriends

Here’s a lil headcanon collection of our favorite himbos as boyfriends.

I did it again for the staff (: AFC Richmond Staff as partners

A/N: Definitely didn’t put everyone but these were my top ones and it’s 2 AM so imma leave it here.

Sam Obisanya

The absolute sweetest man you have ever met

Such a softie, very concerned about making sure you’re happy and comfortable with whatever choices you make together.

He always picks the most random times to surprise you with things; showing up at your work randomly for lunch or with coffee/tea, random little souvenirs from his away games.

He’s always putting himself second and sometimes you have to remind him “hey, babe, you can do things for yourself, you deserve nice things too.”

Just, compliments galore with him. He’ll always find a way to compliment you on something.

The most cuddly person ever, he loves public affection (hand holding, piggy backing, hugging, kissing if it’s not raunchy, etc), he really just likes showing you off because he feels like the luckiest man in the world to have you.

He takes his time with your relationship, letting it bloom and grow at it’s own pace.

There aren’t many fights between you, hardly ever, the last “fight” you had was because you couldn’t unanimously decide which dog to rescue. The solution? You adopted both, now you share a one-eyed Jack Russell Terrier named Starro and a three legged German Shepherd puppy named Harry (Pawter. He was so proud at his pun when he showed you the then 3-month old puppy.)

Again, just the sweetest, more romantic man you’ve ever met and ever will meet.

thesexisgoodtoo. hesaverygentleandgivinglover

Isaac McAdoo

Man’s stubborn.

I mean it, he is as stubborn as a mule.

I’M DEAD SERIOUS, he once pouted for 5 days when you accidentally ate the last Rolo in the flat.

But he’s also romantic in a sort of rugged way?

He won’t go shopping with you but he knows what colors look best on you, he knows what styles look good on you, and he has your sizes and shades memorized.

Bear.

Mr. sometimes-crank-teddy-bear over here.

He’ll say he doesn’t want something but he will eat half of your food if given the chance. If you step away from your food to get a drink or something, there will be a good part mission when you get back.

Its a tradition to go on a date the morning of a game, and snuggle up with a movie after the game.

You have had more than a few drunk texts from him, all of them equally funny and full of sexual innuendos.

You don’t address his Rolo addiction. It could be something much worse anyway.

Richard Montlaur

So many visits to the goat farm he was raised on!

He really has to drag you back to London after visiting his parents because you don’t want to leave all the precious goats (and you and his parents get along famously).

You spend alternating holidays with each others families (except for Bastille day, you always spend that either together or with his family.)

There are always roses in your shared flat.

It’s a constant battle over his facial hair.

He has a grudge against the way the English make French pastries.

He has a habit of falling asleep on the couch or in uncomfortable positions and then wondering why his back or neck hurts.

Little spoon.

He’s teaching you French.

This man is a smooth operator, master at flirtation and romance. He’s good at planning romantic dates and outtings.

Dani Rojas

You 100% believe his mom when she says he was born caffeinated.

One of your first dates was a Mumford and Sons concert which was an interesting experience.

Soft boi hours with him. He’s a lil puppy dog.

Does this man ever sleep? Rarely.

He rises with the son and wants to get the day started immediately but he’s mostly letting you sleep in now.

He LOVES trying new things, exploring new places, generally having new experiences.

His absolute favorite thing to do when he’s not training is playing football (or any game, really) with the kids in your neighborhood. They all love him.

He’s a sweet boyfriend, not as sweet as Sam but he’s a close second.

You alternate who plans date night. You split the chores 50/50 but divvy it up if one of you is sick or has more work to do.

There’s so much alcohol in your flat its unreal.

You usually go to sleep before him but he has a bad habit of throwing himself into bed and partially waking you.

He makes the best breakfast most mornings.

And don’t forget the trips back home to visit his family in Guadalajara.

After a long day of training, he loves just laying down with his head on your lap while you run your fingers through his hair.

Jamie Tartt (Season 1)

FUCK NO

Jamie Tartt (Season 2)

On your first date you got drunk and bonded over shitty fathers.

Not that either of you really remembered the next day, you were both too hungover to immediately recall the night.

His love language is kind words.

At the start he needed a lot of reassuring that you did care about him for who he was, warts and all.

He’s slightly awkward when it comes to romantic gestures so most of the date planning falls on you don’t mind.

He still has some high maintenance behavior but he’s working on it and you’re proud of how far he’s come from the prick he used to be.

Your fights are usually over petty shit like where to eat for dinner or what movie to go see.

He will not hesitate to buy your feminine products for you. He knows your preferred brands and sizes and what treats you like when its that time.

He’s good at those rigged carnival games, the many little stuffed animals in your closet can attest to that.

He talks in his sleep. It’s all nonsense.

He has a soft spot for the neighbor’s cat (and cats in general).

Roy Kent

Rugged.

He’s great to snuggle up to.

The man is honest to boot. He doesn’t sugar coat anything at all.

10/10 times he will go down on you if asked. He’s a giver.

He is the heaviest sleeper in the world. You don’t know why he bothers setting alarms.

Phoebe has a room at your flat and spends so much time with you both.

Many nights have been spent reading different books on the couch together.

He has to clean the drains since 75% of it is his.

Fuck is a very versatile word in your home, used daily.

Not the most romantic man alive but he has his moments.

Date nights are usually relaxed and proper but sometimes you can make the old man have a little fun.

He growls at least a dozen times a day, it’s his main response.

Jan Maas

My beloved

My sweet, beloved Jan who can’t/won’t use a filter to save his life.

He’s blunt in everything and sometimes it makes you want to slap him.

Jan is still getting used to English ways and mannerisms.

He has good intentions but sometimes needs a little help with wording.

He likes going on Aquarium dates.

The more tired he is, the clingier he is and it’s too cute.

Once after a game he plopped onto the couch next to you and basically tried to curl up in your lap.

He can make amazing pancakes.

Thats it though.

You’ll do most of the cooking if you value living in a flat that’s not on fire.

He’s a sweetheart though.

Mostly good intentions though.

Doesn’t mind nudity and had to quickly be reined in by the team. Not at home though.

At home he can easily be found lounging in boxers and a t-shirt while he sips coffee.

He knows what he’s doing.

Tag Team: @bdffkierenwalker

#Ted Lasso #Jan Maas #Isaac McAdoo #Dani Rojas #Roy Kent #Jamie Tartt #Sam Obisanya #Richard Montlaur #AFC Richmond Himbos #AFC Richmond #AFC Richmond Greyhounds #Emotional Support Himbos #I love them all your honor #Jan Maas my beloved #Sam Obisanya is baby

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kbrick · 3 years ago

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First Lines - Critique Edition

Thanks @amywaterwings, @pennygalleon, @maesterchill, and @thehoneybeet for the tags. I’m bad at following directions, so instead of listing my opening sentences, I judged the shit out of them and rated them on a scale of 1-10. Yay?

SO OKAY The judges were all assholes, this was no fun, but maybe the real award was the time we wasted along the way???

DRUMROLLLLLL PLEASEEEEEE.......

First Prize goes to Harry Potter and the Great Cat Caper 🎉✨😎

The Shittiest First Line Award goes to Running Mate (the trophy looks like a regular trophy, but when you take it, a hand comes out of the cup and smacks you in the face) 🤦‍♀️😢

Entries below (sorted from worst to best)

“Harry woke to the sound of his wand buzzing.” (Running Mate, E, 170k, August 2021). Boring. How many stories have started with something like this? Probably a lot. Nope, don’t like it. I don’t like when stories start with wakeup scenes, and this one wasn’t strictly necessary - Harry’s just going for a run. I wanted to give an intro to Harry’s life in America, and what that looks like, but I should have found a better way to do it, maybe something with some drama. There is drama with one of Harry’s exes later in the chapter - perhaps I should have started with that. This sentence is worthless. *slaps past self* Rating: 1/10

“Draco had never been so angry in his life.” (Song for the Dumped, E, 35k, October 2021). It sets up an immediate conflict, so that’s good, but it’s vague and too sparse. I have a very strong tendency towards sparseness in my opening lines, which I don’t mind, unless they go a little towards the extreme side, like here. I maybe should have added in more detail. The second line - “Well, that was probably a lie.” - helps, since it adds a touch of personality and reveals more about this Draco, who is a bit of a tantrum thrower and drama queen. But the first line on it’s own? A little weak. Rating: 3/10

“Even before he opened his eyes, Draco could feel the dull ache at his temples.” (Turning Leaves, E, 112k, Jan 2021). A little generic, a little cliche, usually don’t love beginning stories with someone waking up (at least I didn’t follow it up with a long explanation of Draco’s appearance as he stared into the mirror???). But, for this one, I guess I’ll cut myself some slack. This opening scene between Harry and Draco, which takes place the morning after their initial drunken hookup and contains a metric ton of drama, sort of sets up the rest of the story, so it had to be a wake up scene - but perhaps the first sentence could have included seeing Harry in bed? Rating: 4/10

“Draco could’ve sworn that Christmas was getting more irritating every year.“ (Draco Malfoy and Another Sodding Christmas, E, 31k, December 2021). It’s okay. I don’t like that I started this story with a bunch of narrative, although I think it *sort of* works because I tried to infuse it with Draco’s hum-buggedness and make it funny. It definitely sets the tone of the story and tells you it’s going to be a Christmas fic (although you’d already know that). All in all, it’s acceptable-ish, not great. Rating: 4/10

“Unspeakable Malfoy,” came a voice from the floo at the back wall of the Pen.” (Threshold, E, 126k, September 2021). I’m going with - it’s not terrible, but it could’ve been stronger. This is Draco’s call to help the Aurors on a case that sets the whole story rolling, so I think it’s the right scene, but maybe could have been more interesting. On the other hand, dialogue is a sort of action, and beginning a story with action is usually a good thing. Rating: 5/10

“Harry was wracking his brain for a reason to cancel lunch with Hermione.“ (The Remnant, E, 71k, October 2021). Pretty good. This sets up an important part of the story - Harry’s alienated from all his friends for reasons we soon discover. It also speaks to tension, and I think a reader would want to read on to find out why Harry doesn’t want to see Hermione. It’s not exactly memorable, but it works fairly well. Rating: 6/10

“Blaise rolled onto his back and stared up at the bed’s purple curtains, grinning.” (Night Magic, E, 118k, March 2021). I’m torn here. On the one hand, this is a post-sex scene with some conflict involved, which is sort of inherently interesting, but on the other hand, I don’t know that this sets the right tone for the story. It’s a Drarry fic, naturally, so while Blaise plays a significant role in this story, I don’t know that I should have started with him. It might have been better to start off with an explanation of Draco’s insomnia, which is what gets the Drarry rolling here. Rating: 6/10

“Harry was sure they could hear the frantic thud of his heart, pummeling itself against his ribcage as he tried not to breathe.” (Even From Opposite Ends Of the Universe, E, 113k, February 2022). Starts with action, probably does well drawing you in. However, I don’t love that I started it so dramatically? I feel like that could be taken as amature-ish writing. I very much wanted to start with this scene because I love it (Harry on the train to Hogwarts, spying on Malfoy at the start of 6th year), and I really wanted to begin my story there. I liked that I started with something readers know and then subverted expectations (Malfoy does not kick Harry in the face and break his nose in this story, so it begins steering away from canon right off the bat). There’s something about it that I don’t love regardless of that, but can’t really put my finger on - it’s the drama of it all, I think. But it’s doing its job. Rating: 7/10

“The Sorting Hat was a dick, that’s all there was to it.” (Draco Malfoy, Serial Wanker, 13k, August 2021). Pretty good. It’s kind of a mood-setter, and you obviously need to know why the sorting hat is a dick after reading it. The Draco in this story is very grouchy and guarded, so I think this hits on the characterization aspect of the story as well. Rating: 7/10

“Draco stood perfectly still in the shadows, watching.” ((Don’t) Say My Name, E, 6k, Feb 2021). Okay, I like this one. Because what the fuck is he doing!? I feel like this grabs the reader’s attention and gets them curious, and it suggests there will be some action coming, too, which is always good. Rating: 8/10

“Harry realized he was turning into a crazy cat person on a Friday.” (Harry Potter and the Great Cat Caper, E, 78k April 2021). FAVORITE ALERT! I really like this, because it serves as a great intro to Harry’s current predicament (divorced, living in a farmhouse with seven cats, very lonely). And it’s also compelling, becasue I think the reader would want to know what the hell happened to get him to this point and why he’s so lonely and what the fuck do cats have to do with anything. All and all, I love this, it’s my favorite first line. Rating: 10/10

Tagging, with explicit instructions to do the regular version of this and not my masochistic weirdo version (no pressure, as ever, to do anything at all!): @nv-md @fw00shy @skeptiquewrites @valokki @veelawings @orange-peony @academicdisasterfic @thebooktopus and anybody else who wants in!

#tag game #first lines #i didn't do it right

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morganayenneferburnham · 3 years ago

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Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angels Roll their Eyes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33661984/chapters/83654680

A very short summary: Y/N has been working with the crows for a few years. Her life feels complete until she meets the insufferable Nikolai Lantsov. She finds herself forced to work with the King of Ravka on one of Kaz Brekker's crazy schemes.

Nikolai Lantsov. King of Ravka. He was privateer extraordinaire Sturmhond?

Word count: 2k

A/N: So I wrote my first fic! Hopefully at least one person likes it! I just posted the first chapter today. The second one should follow somewhat soon ☺️I’m currently writing the third chapter!

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angels Roll their Eyes

Nikolai Lantsov. King of Ravka. He was privateer extraordinaire Sturmhond?

Y/N couldn’t quite believe it. She had been a fan of him for years. Asking for the latest news on the voyages of the Volkvolny and its captain every chance she got. They were legendary. When Kaz had told her a few days prior that Sturmhond was going to be with them for a job she had barely been able to contain her excitement. Now, she was mortified. How could she work with a king?

Had she not been standing next to Kaz during the meeting she’d never have believed it.

“How long have you known, Kaz? I mean, I know you’ve worked with him before but…” her voice trailed off in a question.

“I figured it out when we first met.” His mind traveled back to that day. Meeting the privateer by the Geldrenner hotel’s baths, just a few years ago. They had been trying to save Kuwei Yul-Bo, a Shu inferni who’d had the misfortune of being the son of the fabrikator who created Jurda Parem, making him the most valuable hostage in the world. They had auctioned him off, faked his death, and gotten revenge on Jan Van Eck all at the same time. “The king of Ravka wouldn’t just let anyone represent his country in important matters. The fact that he always travels with at least one member of the Triumvirate doesn’t help him keep his identity secret either.” He scoffed. “He really should stop doing that.” Kaz sounded almost… annoyed?

“I take it you’ve given him that particular piece of advice and he didn’t listen?” She smirked. “Though, you know, I’m glad Zoya Nazyalenski tagged along. She is even more gorgeous than I thought.”

“He never listens. Almost as stubborn as you.” He huffed. The glare he gave her would’ve been enough to scare most people, however, she was not most people. She considered Kaz family, and she knew that Kaz did too, in his own way. They had both lost siblings to the city after all. She had joined his crew a few months after they had lost Matthias and Nina had gone back to Ravka. He had needed a new corporalnik and she had made fast friends with Inej, Jesper, and Wylan. As much as Kaz had tried to keep the young tailor at arm’s length, she had found a way to worm herself into his cold guarded heart. His look softened before he continued. “You should steer clear of her. She’s just as icy as she appears. Wouldn’t want you to get your heart broken before the job.” That was his way of showing he cared.

“Don’t worry, Kaz, I’m not looking to marry her. Maybe she’d be open to a bit of fun?” She laughed, throwing her long auburn hair over her shoulder, and made her way back to Jesper and Wylan down the corridor.

---

A few days had passed since they’d met with Sturmhond. He and Zoya had temporarily moved into the slat. Kaz had been cooped up in his office, wearing his scheming face most of that time. Everyone could tell Kaz’s plan was going to involve multiple steps and deceptions.

Since they hadn’t been working any other jobs, the crows had been left to their own devices for the first time in months. Kaz occasionally called on them for their expertise, but they had a lot more downtime than they were used to. They had taken advantage of it to get to know their new teammates. Y/N had mostly struck out with Zoya, though she had managed to make her laugh a few times, to everyone’s surprise. Maybe with more time, she’d have a small chance with Zoya? The young grisha had also tried to wrap her head around the identity of her favourite privateer. She now found herself sitting in Kaz’s office, Jesper and Wylan on her right and Sturmhond and Zoya on her left. Kaz looked all business, so serious she feared he’d give himself an aneurysm.

“I need you to tailor him. Once you’re done, you’ll tailor yourself.” Kaz nodded in Sturmhond’s direction sitting behind his cluttered desk, hands resting on his crow’s head cane.

Y/N looked up at Inej who had been sitting at Kaz’s window. “May I ask why? Hasn’t he already been tailored?” She gestured to the privateer before returning her hand to her lap. “He doesn’t look like the king of Ravka.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “Why must you always question me?” He sighed. “Yes, he has been tailored, nonetheless, he is too easily recognizable as Sturmhond. I need you both to look like rich Kaelish merchants. It shouldn’t be too hard for you?”

“Of course not. You know there’s nothing I can’t do, Brekker.” She replied in Kaelish. She softened her tone before continuing in Kerch. “I’m simply asking you to share your brilliant scheme with us mere mortals” Her voice was laced with sarcasm. Inej stifled a laugh. It looked like the Suli girl couldn’t help but smile at the other’s antics.

Kaz groaned. “Fine, I’ll share my plan for the job. It’d be easier if you just listened. I’ll explain it once so pay attention – Jesper!” Poor Jesper jumped on his chair. He’d been staring at Sturmhond since they’d all entered the office. Y/N couldn’t blame him. The privateer did have an inexplicable charm despite his tailored features.

“Yes, Boss!” Jesper straightened in his chair and sent an apologetic look to Wylan.

“Alright, to pull this one off we’ll need blueprints that can only be found in Gert Van Verent’s safe. He keeps his office under lock and key – ”

“Wait, you want us to break into a councilman’s house, again? Why can’t you do it Kaz? You’re the best at picking locks.”

“Well, if you hadn’t interrupted me” he was glaring daggers at her now, his eyes the hue of bitter coffee “you’d know that two guards are posted outside his office, at all times” he’d emphasized the last part and raised a hand to stop Y/N from interrupting him again “and his windows are protected behind steel bars.” Y/N nodded once slowly indicating she was willing to listen with no more interruptions.

“Van Verent is throwing a party in the hopes of finding his eldest daughter a husband. Being a devout Kerch merchant, he is also using the occasion to find new business ventures. The party is our window of opportunity. That-” he gestured to her and Sturmhond “is where you two come in. Ainsley and Eoin Ó Ceallaigh, newlyweds from the Wandering Isle, looking to extend your exporting business to Kerch. I already secured your invitation” Y/N felt her jaw drop. No sound came out. All she could do was stare at Kaz. He had finally lost it. He wanted her and the king of Ravka to assume false identities and pretend to be married? Dirtyhands had gone mad.

Wylan was the one who voiced her concern. “Kaz? I know Y/N’s a talented tailor and well she is Kaelish so that part’s covered but, well, um, no disrespect Sturm-, Sir? Your Highness? But, um, do you speak Kaelish?”

The king smiled. He looked amused at Wylan’s confusion. He replied in perfect unaccented Kaelish “Call me Nikolai, it will make for less confusing conversation. Of course, I speak Kaelish, I have been educated in 6 languages. I also had a fondness for Kaelish poetry in my youth.”

Everyone seemed to relax at that. However, Y/N could tell she was going to need Jesper’s help to undo the knots in her shoulders later that night. “Kaz? I don’t think I’m that great of an actress… You also haven’t told us how we’re supposed to get the plans if we do get in.”

“Don’t worry darling, I’m sure we’ll manage. I’m talented enough for the both of us” Nikolai winked at her. Nikolai, who just so happened to be the privateer she had admired for years. She felt her cheeks flush. Saints, she thought, this is going to be a nightmare.

“Jesper and Wylan have also been invited to the party thanks to Wylan’s new position on the merchant’s council.” She had never been more grateful to Kaz for overlooking the interruptions. “They’ll cause a distraction, with Nazyalenski’s help, to let you and Nikolai slip past the guards and break into Van Verent’s office.” He stopped and looked at Y/N. “I know you can pick the lock and crack the safe. I trained you myself after all.”

The discussions and planning continued well into the night. Y/N wasn’t convinced it was such a good plan, but everyone else seemed on board so she kept her mouth shut. All she could do now was make sure to memorize all she could before the job. The party was two days away, which didn’t give them much time to learn all they could about their characters. Kaz had instructed Nikolai and Y/N to spend every waking moment working together to make sure they made a believable couple.

Twelve hours in, Y/N was cursing herself for saying she wasn’t a great actress. If she’d only pretended to be confident in her acting abilities, she might have been allowed to take a break from the insufferable king. Well, insufferable might have been a little dramatic but the man loved himself way too much. They had memorized their stories in the first 8 hours and were now being quizzed by Wylan and Jesper while she started tailoring them both, yet the King would not stop flirting with her. He also made sure to touch her every chance he got. A brush of his fingers on her cheek, of his knuckles on hers, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger. She knew it was just harmless fun for him. It was driving her completely mad. She just wanted him to take the job seriously.

“How did he propose?” Wylan asked for the third time in the past two hours.

Y/N sighed and moved her fingers through Nikolai’s hair to darken it. “It was incredibly romantic. He had planned a picnic by the lake where we met.” Her cheeks were already starting to hurt from the plastered smile on her face.

“I had all of her favourite foods, of course” Nikolai interjected, moving to softly caress the girl’s cheek.

Y/N had to restrain herself from slapping his hand away. “Yes, even strawberries, in winter! Can you believe it? Once the sun began to set, he dropped to one knee and pulled the ring from the picnic basket with a bouquet of winter roses. I’m so lucky to have fallen in love with such an attentive and caring man.” She turned to Kaz who had been observing them, leaning against the doorframe, and dropped the smile from her lips. “Was that satisfactory, Boss?”

Kaz shrugged. “It’d be better if you didn’t look like you wanted to stab him every time he touches you.”

Y/N released a breath. “Maybe if you’d let me take a break...” her tone was pleading.

Kaz smiled at that. He was finally wearing her down. Giving her a taste of what she’d put him through the last two years felt like sweet justice to him. He liked the girl well enough, but she had a way of getting on his nerves. He took no pity on her. “You’ll keep going until I actually believe you are in love with him.” He left the room with a pointed look at her.

Zoya released an amused laugh. “I’m just glad Nikolai found someone else to bother for a change.” She smiled smugly at Y/N. “Don’t worry, he’s mostly harmless. Just come find me if he gets too handsy, I’ll put him in his place for you.”

Y/N couldn’t believe it. Zoya had definitely sent her a wink before following behind Kaz. Maybe all her flirting had paid off?

“Sweetheart, I’m hurt, you are taking more interest in my general than in your own handsome husband.” Nikolai’s tone was toeing the line between mock hurt and amused.

She turned back to the three men in front of her. “Jesper, please, just shoot me.”

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai #king of scars #six of crows #kaz brekker #zoya nazyalensky #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #my fic #ari's fic #have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years #nikolai series #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov fanfic

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golbrocklovely · 3 years ago

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since i haven't finished writing anything just yet...

here are some of colby's tweets from 2018.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him (or… tweets for context to what he was responding to).

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 2 - SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

So very thankful for all my beautiful fans and amazing friends. Love you all

Jan. 5 - It’s okay to take time to find yourself, and become the person you want to be. Never too late

Jan. 7 - Find someone who’s in love with your soul, not the way you look

(damn i really miss when colby would tweet mushy gushy stuff :/)

Jan. 8 - ~ You’re almost gone, and I’m okay ~

Jan. 11 - I am a natural introvert who has learned to cope/adapt with social situations and surroundings. Don’t think that you have to be born an extrovert to have outer confidence

Jan. 13 - Life is too short to be superficial and fake

Jan. 15 - I feel like Social Media can be a place full of judgement, which goes hand and hand with feelings of insecurity. The internet is a new world of communication, something our generation is FIRST to experience .. Put your phone away for a bit if you start having these feelings

Constantly subconsciously comparing yourselves to others by seeing where they are in life, their likes, how they look etc. is so unhealthy. If you’re on your phone 24/7 , that can definitely take a toll on you mentally. Take the breaks you need!

Jan. 17 - Spontaneous trip to paradise sounds quite nice right about now

Jan. 20 - Damn, LA really makes me feel like I’m going crazy sometimes

Jan. 22 - It’s Now or Never baby

Jan. 25 - YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE SO HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS YOU CAN WHILE YOU CAN. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST

Jan. 27 - My inner emo shows more and more everyday

Jan. 29 - Rather be respected by few than adored by many

The key is being different from others, but holding a certain confidence about who you naturally are

Jan. 30 - Just wanna see what’s going on in that special mind of yours.

Jan. 31 - People don’t think I get any sleep when in reality I probably sleep too much MY DARK EYE CIRCLES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE OKAY!?

Feb. 2 - Even though I may not be able to talk to every single one of you personally, I just want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. You mean so much.

Feb. 5 - You ever just wake up and feel like going back to sleep for the rest of eternity cause same

Feb. 6 - You gotta focus on yourself in order to be the most successful you can be

Feb. 11 - Waste the day away with me

Feb. 12 - Being alone with your thoughts for too long can be dangerous

Feb. 14 - 🌹🌹🌹 Here’s some roses if you didn’t get any this Valentine’s Day. #cheesy

Feb. 17 - You can’t miss what you forget

(fun fact he tweeted this same thing last year too... is he okay?)

Feb. 18 - @/KyleeCarterrr : i love you.. just in case someone hasn’t told you today

@/KyleeCarterrr Thank you. I love you too 🌹

Feb. 20 - I believe everyone has a purpose. Why else would you be alive ?

Feb. 22 - Single doesn’t mean I’m looking for somebody 🤷🏻‍♀️

Feb. 25 - A deep mind is so much more attractive than a pretty face

Feb. 27 -Life’s too short to wait for the perfect moment. If you wanna do something, do it. If you wanna talk to that special him/her, do it. If you wanna pursue a crazy dream.. DO IT. Don’t miss out on YOUR only time here on earth.

One day you're gunna find that one special person who loves all the weird things you do

I think my problem was that I was caught up in the idea of you, not the reality

(oooof, i felt this one lol)

March 1 - I love it when people say “You’ve changed” cause it reminds me that I’m human and always experiencing new things.

March 5 - Never settle for anything YOU DONT DESERVE.

March 6 - there’s so many nostalgic memories in music

March 7 - you’re not a stranger if you’re always on my mind

March 10 - You are your WORST critic.. Sometimes I gotta remind myself not to be so hard on myself, it’s not worth it. People don’t pick apart things about you like you might

March 12 - Getting past security to get into abandoned places is becoming second nature

March 18 - I think I’ve realized that I’m a living meme

March 24 - Crazy how things change. People come and go so fast. Feels like you’re living multiple new lives, meeting someone so important one year and moving on to others the next

March 29 - I just wanna sleep. All the time

sometimes the silence means everything

#colby brock #cb tweets #personal #text

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ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff · 4 years ago

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The Sight of You (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: Spencer’s disturbing dreams about his childhood bring him back to Las Vegas to face two of his childhood’s greatest enemies: his estranged father and his ex best friend.

AN: it’s a friends to enemies to lovers fic! Set in the episode “Memoriam” 4x07

Content Warnings: usual Criminal Minds stuff, mentions of child death, childhood trauma, descriptions of a dead body. Let me know if I missed anything!

Despite seeing Spencer around Pre-k, Y/N did not trot over to talk to him with their brightly coloured rucksack swinging vigorously and violently behind them. They walked faster instead once their parents had dropped them off. Spencer did his best to catch up to Y/N but lost them around the corner in the sea of students seeking their next class. He was meant to be one of them. Adjusting his glasses as they slipped down his nose, Spencer noted that he needed a new prescription before entering his own class and preparing to focus on a subject he was already well-versed in.

It was lunch time when Spencer finally found Y/N. They were sitting at the furthest end of the table in the canteen. But Y/N cowered away from him, his shoulders drawn up defensively.

“Are you OK, Y/N?” Spencer asked before getting to what was more significant to him: “Do you know when you will be free to play again?”

The next sentence out of Y/N’s mouth stung like a nettle. They stood up, their face contorted in their fit, and they pushed Spencer hard on the shoulders.

“Go away! I can’t look at you! You make me feel sick, you and your family!” They cried.

They went silent when Spencer was laughed at by those who heard what was said. Just grabbed their lunch and moved away, leaving Spencer spellbound in the middle of the canteen, heartbroken and with a new opening for a potential chess partner. Maybe that man they saw last week at the park would be kind enough to join him again.

But there was no replacement for Y/N, who now never said a word when they caught a glimpse of Spencer being bullied – only dithering about on the spot before fleeing the scene moments before a teacher would show up.

Spencer was hurt; that hurt warped into hatred when he was next out with his mother and father. They were at the shopping mall and had just bought Spencer his new glasses. Going down the escalator, he saw Y/N. They were smiling and skipping between their parents, a new pair of shoes shiny on their feet.

The second they spotted the Reids, Y/N ducked behind their parents. Spencer could still see their face: brow furrowed, eyes squinting, hands shaking now that nothing was holding them. Their parents didn’t seem to notice. They kept talking and walking even as Y/N stopped in time with the Reids stepping off the escalator.

Sudden footsteps running away was what dragged the public’s attention to a suddenly absent child.

“Y/N!” The parents called out as they chased after the four-year-old. They were quick past the Reids, not stopping to say ‘hello’.

Spencer kept his eyes trained after Y/N’s fleeing form, right until his mother’s face came into view. Diana looked saddened; she too was staring after the L/Ns. Turned to his father. William was composed but his eyes were turned down and watering.

For making his parents react like that to their mere presence, Spencer despised Y/N.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

The burning hatred from adolescence staled once Spencer reached adulthood. The protective nature that spawned from it for his mother remained.

Which is why, when Diana Reid casually mentioned Y/N when asked about Riley Jenkins, Spencer froze up.

“You remember Y/N?” He said stiffly.

Diana didn’t notice her son’s change in tone, “Of course, you two were opposites but you got on so well. So sad what happened to them.”

The first guess was that she was referring Y/N’s repeated attempts at running away before Reid cut contact with neighbourhood gossip at age fourteen. He didn’t bother with a second attempt to understand what his mother meant.

“I don’t care about Y/N. I want to know if you remember Riley.”

“And I told you: Riley was a boy you made up.”

“No, Mom, he was a real boy who lived in our neighbourhood, and somebody killed him. And, I don't know, I think-- I think that dad might have had something to do with it.”

“He was real?”

“Yes. And...”

“He was on that little league team, too.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

The whole case was surreal - “case” being a very loose term.

When they got into his office, Spencer thought that perhaps things might simmer down a little. Unfortunately, as soon as his father spoke about their history of similarity in appearance, Spencer’s usual comfort of statistics and facts on the elderly and pets failed to conceal his abandonment issues.

William Reid was clearly affected by Spencer’s accusations, calling the idea of fitting the profile thus being Riley’s killer “absurd”. Furthermore, he was confrontational when asked for access to his files and demanded a warrant. Coupled with Lou Jenkins’ absolute certainty that William was not involved in Riley’s murder and Penelope asking him “you sure about this?” concerning invading the aforementioned files, Spencer was very close to snapping.

“I really wish people would stop asking me that.”

Then there was the envelope posted beneath his motel room door. Suspicious timing aside, there was a brand-new suspect basically handed over on a silver platter. One Gary Michaels whom Spencer couldn’t remember him but he couldn’t be sure that he didn’t know him. Uncertainty being the feeling he hated the most.

This man could fit the profile; his previous of exposing himself to a minor was a precursor to molestation. But that wasn’t what Spencer wanted to hear from the shady file slipped to direct his attention away from William.

Garcia reported back about his father’s drives, “No kiddie porn, no membership to illicit websites, no dubious emails, no chat room history.”

“What about his finances?”

Hotch joined the conversation, “We went back ten years. No questionable transactions that we can find.”

Spencer sighed while Emily decided to crack a joke: “Well, he did buy a ticket to see Celine Dion six months ago, but I think we can overlook that.”

“He’s smart. Is it possible he kept things under the table?” Spencer persisted.

“Well, of course,” Hotch answered, “But from what we can tell, Reid, he doesn’t fit the profile.”

“We can tell you other things about him, if you want to know.”

A peace offering on behalf of Emily. Clearly she had improved after her night out and subsequent hangover. Spencer gave the go-ahead and Emily listed her profile:

“He's a workaholic, he actually logs more hours than we do. He makes decent money, but he doesn't spend a lot of it. He has a modest house. He drives a hybrid. He doesn't travel much. He stays away from the casinos. Um, and according to his veterinary bills, he has a very sick cat.”

“He appears to spend most of his free time alone,” Hotch added, “He goes to the movies a lot, and he reads. And from his collection of first editions, it seems his favourite author is-”

Spencer interrupted his boss, “Isaac Asimov, I remember that one.” He pressed his lips together. They were right; William Reid did not fit the profile.

Garcia piped up once more, “He does have one other major interest. On his home computer, he's archived, like, a ka-jillion things on one common subject.”

“What?”

“You, kiddo. He's got, like, everything that's been published online. Every article you've been quoted in, pieces you've written for behavioural science journals, He even has a copy of your dissertation.”

“He's keeping tabs on you,” Rossi said, That's saying something.”

But Spencer smoothly dismissed this attempt to make excuses for his father, “Yeah, he googled me. That makes up for everything. I'm going to get some air.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

After getting said air, Spencer went to the local bar and began playing an computerised poker game. His paying attention was only to distract himself, clear his head with something he knew he could control. And thankfully, a chance interaction with a lady at the bar spawned the inspiration for a sporadic hypnosis session.

Doctor Jan Mohikian allowed them a session. Reminded of the limitations that a four-year old’s memory could provide, not including the bias he already had as a son and a profiler, Spencer lay on the couch. His feet hung over the end so that his head could be comfortable in a pillow. There was no time for self-consciousness with Rossi in the room observing. He closed his eyes and felt his hand be placed upon Doctor Mohikian’s body.

She spoke low and calmingly, “I want you to hold my wrist in your left hand. And if you should feel any fear, I want you to squeeze, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Go back to the night you were just telling me about. You're at home, in your room. You can't sleep because your parents are arguing.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

His eyes were closed still, but the couch shifted into a bed. His bed. A floor below, the faint shouting between his mother and father was heard. There was someone else there too. A child wailing, and it wasn’t him.

Suddenly his father was at his side, touching his arm, saying, “I know you’re awake. Daddy loves you; you know that?”

Spencer didn’t want to be there, and then it was the following morning.

Putting his glasses, the room fell into focus. His mother was there, she didn’t see him because she was too busy looking out the window. Her body language told him that this was not a meltdown, but what she saw was distressing. She’d been crying. As she walked away into the house, she hid her face as if she knew Spencer was watching and she wanted to hide her reaction from him.

Spencer ran to the window the second Diana had left the room.

His father was in the back garden and burning clothes. A bloody shirt, a tiny cardigan, landed on top of the pile already set alight.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and wake.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

And Spencer was shocked out of the scene, back to the doctor’s couch and gripping her wrist with an iron grip. Rossi was by his side, bringing him back to peace with his voice.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Derek was clearly disturbed that Spencer was very set on his father being a paedophilic murderer as much as he had been that Spencer was taking something that was said after his mother’s fit seriously. He continued however to assist with Rossi in Spencer’s investigation.

As if everything else hadn’t been hard enough, the captain took some time to agree to holding William Reid in custody. Finally, he settled for twenty-four hours. William was as resistant to the questions as he had been upon the initial reunion. All he could say was that he didn’t hurt Riley. Spencer wore him down, getting him to drop the Gary Michaels bomb plus the threat that he “didn’t want to go down that road”.

Garcia’s search of Gary Michaels’ DNA on the databases brought to light that their suspect was dead. Buried across state lines, beat over the head with a pipe or bat, and the body was discovered in 2001.

“Maybe it wasn’t Riley’s blood on the clothes he was burning.” Derek was about to hang up when Garcia began to speak again, a new discovery ready for her team.

“Also, Todd found something in your father’s finances. There was a standing order for a therapist, specifically a child therapist from 1985 to 1995. I thought it was for Spencer, but William left when you were twelve, and these sessions continue irregularly after he left you!”

“Who was the patient?”

“One Y/N L/N. Local to North Vegas, born 1980 to Shelly and Finley L/N.”

Both Rossi and Derek looked away from the phone to Spencer and he knew. He knew he’d have to face another villain from the past – like a knight in one of Y/N’s stories.

“Still alive?”

“Yep, already pulling up an address. There’s a lot of short leases attached to this name. Lucky for you, they keep going back to live with their parents.”

Spencer wasn’t entirely sure that he could handle two bitter reunions in one day.

“We’ll send off the fingerprint while we visit Y/N. They could have been a potential victim of Michaels before he died. They might know something.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

It was a normal home in a normal neighbourhood. Spencer had never visited Y/N’s house. Their play-dates were always at the park.

“Hello, Mr L/N,” held up their badges, “I’m Agent Derek Morgan, this is Agent David Rossi and Doctor Spencer Reid. May we come in and ask you some questions?”

“Sure. My wife is uh out at work at the moment,” Finley opened the door wider and stepped aside for the trio to enter, “I’m the house husband as it were.”

Looking about the kitchen, Spencer spied several photos of an adult Y/N but very few of them as a toddler and even less as a teenager.

“You have a child, Mr L/N?” Rossi asked.

“All grown up now, Y/N,” Finley smiled with a nod. Then he squinted at Spencer, “You’re not related to William Reid by chance, are you?”

Masking his bitterness, Spencer said shortly, “He’s my father.”

Finley seemed in awe at the prospect, so Derek redirected the conversation back to the matter at hand, “What was Y/N like as a child?”

Nodding still, like a bobble head, Finley looked weary at the notion, “Troubled. They were very young when they withdrew into themselves. Used to run away from home a lot. I don’t know what happened, but Y/N never told us.” He then jumped to protect his child’s reputation at present, “They’re doing better now, went to therapy and they’re doing very well for themselves.”

“I’m glad to hear.” Rossi replied.

Finley continued his defence of Y/N, “They’re a published author, they write fantasy things for kids and young adults. We’re very proud of them.”

“Did Y/N know Riley Jenkins when they were a child?”

“Riley Jenkins, that’s Lou’s kid who died, right?” Finley sought confirmation and, when he had it, he spoke, “Not personally. I think they might have played at the park once or twice. Before he died, Y/N would play with anyone. But you… you know that.” And Finley gestured to Spencer, much to his disgust.

“Is Y/N in the area?” Spencer asked briskly.

“Well, they’re due for a visit in a few hours. They went on holiday.”

“They still live with you?”

“A month ago, they got a new flat in the city. But they’ve got their own room here, for whenever they need it.”

“May we see it?”

The wallpaper was barely visible beneath exam revision notes, posters of Fresh sheets on the bed and the clear space on the floor were the only tidy things about the place. It was a haven of organised clutter.

A chess set caught Spencer’s eye. It sat upon the windowsill, recently dusted. The pieces were not that of a classic set; each was painted prettily but with enough error to indicate it was a personal touch.

“You and Y/N were close then?” Derek was holding up a photo album. Upon inspection, the photograph the page was open on was of Spencer and Y/N dressed up for Halloween as Doctor Frankenstein and the Monster respectively – accurate to the book of course.

“Yeah, ‘were’,” Spencer turned back to the chess set. He didn’t bother to ask when his friends had figured out he knew Y/N.

Rossi decided to further test the waters, “You think that Y/N could have killed Riley?”

“Of course not. A four-year-old couldn’t kidnap, tie up, rape, and kill a boy their own age. No violent history that indicates they would ever do something like this. Do I think that Y/N knows something about what happened and my father is trying to keep them quiet? Yes.”

Rossi moved beside Spencer, picking up the knight. Except it wasn’t a knight. It was a wizard of some kind in purple robes.

“We’ll stay up here for a bit then go down once Y/N’s inside and settled,” He gestured with the knight to the window. Spencer blanched as he spied a cab at the end of the driveway. The trunk was open and someone was retrieving a suitcase from within.

Y/N appeared around the corner, waving off the cab and turning to the house. Mr L/N appeared on the drive and they met in the middle for a hug. Over Mr L/N’s shoulder, Spencer could see that Y/N had grown into their chubby childhood features. They looked genuinely happy.

He would have to go through with it, but he didn’t have to like it. And he couldn’t go hide in the bathroom like with his father.

The trio plodded down the stairs when the sound of the front door closing was replaced with a joyous gathering in the kitchen. It all changed when Y/N went to take off their jacket and caught sight of the three FBI agents standing in the doorway. Taking out his badge, Rossi led the way.

“Hello, Y/N, I’m Agent David Rossi, this is Agent Derek Morgan, and Doctor Spencer Reid. We’re looking into the death of Riley Jenkins, and we were hoping to ask you some questions.”

To the naked eye, very little changed about Y/N’s appearance. To the three profilers, there was a visceral reaction: Y/N’s right hand started trembling, the hard swallow, the dropping of their gaze from Spencer to the floor.

“OK,” They said, a great deal quieter than they had been with their father.

Rossi sat next to Y/N at the dinner table. Derek was beside Rossi; Spencer stayed standing. Mr L/N stayed in the kitchen, at Y/N’s request.

“Can you tell us what you remember about Riley?” Rossi began.

“Not very much, I don’t really remember much about school.”

“Oh, you don’t?” Spencer blurted, “Well, I do.”

Derek glanced back at him with a look that just screamed “shut the hell up”. It seemed to cut down Y/N’s resolve, their jaw quivering.

“Sorry, can you give me a moment?” They stood up quick, the chair legs scraping loudly against the floor as they walked just as fast to the kitchen. Through the open door, Rossi, Derek, and Spencer watched Y/N grab a glass from the open dishwasher. The water from the tap hit the bottom of the glass harsh, crashing out like a wave of the ocean hitting a cliff. Y/N didn’t seem to care. Their hand dripped water onto the surface as they chugged back some of the drink before returning to the table with a topped-up glass.

“Are you alright?” Rossi inquired, leaning closer to Y/N.

They answered wearily, “Fine, just feeling woozy.”

“You’re a writer?”

“Yeah, you’re a writer too. My mom reads your stuff before bed.”

“Bit of an odd nightcap,” Rossi said with a little chuckle.

Y/N shared that smile for the briefest of moments, replying “You’re telling me.”

From their pocket, they pulled out some painkillers, popping them back with a slug of water then speaking again. “I remember Riley was smaller than me. Still figuring out coordination, but he liked to play chase. I know he was killed; I didn’t find out how until I looked into it last year.”

“Why did you look into it?” Rossi gently probed.

Y/N rubbed two fingers back and forth across their head as they spoke, “I was back here, I felt sick so I went for a walk in the park, and I just remembered him tripping over while trying to tag me. No one ever told me what happened, just that he had to go away. I wanted to know what happened to him.”

“Are you sick often?” Derek asked suddenly, his voice soft to match Rossi. Spencer grimaced at the treatment Y/N was receiving but said nothing.

“Headaches and stomach aches mostly.”

“You get them whenever you come home?”

“I do. Figured I was allergic to something but never figured out what.”

That would have to be a very quick response, like a dog allergy. And coincidental, seeing as the symptoms didn’t start until they saw Spencer.

“Y/N?” called their father, “Can you come here a moment please?”

“May I?”

“Of course,” said Derek and Y/N was out of the room. Derek pivoted in his chair to include Spencer in his theory, “I think they know something, but they don’t know they know it. I think they repressed this memory like you did, Spencer. We should take him to the therapist, see if we can jog his memory.”

“You can’t be serious,” Spencer covered his face with his hands, dragging them down with irritation.

Derek was persistent though, “Spencer, like it or not, Y/N’s linked to this investigation. Put aside your differences for a moment, please.”

Spencer all but squawked, “Put aside my differences?”

“You have brought a lot of bias to this case. Let us at least pursue this lead.”

“Sorry,” Y/N interrupted Spencer’s retort, sitting back at the table, “He needed someone to get unhook the loft door. Mom usually does it.”

“That’s alright.” Rossi waved a hand dismissively. Once Y/N accepted that, he moved in with Derek’s suggestion, “You know, some people have strong physical reactions to memories, trauma. Maybe you’re not getting sick. You’re rejecting something.”

“Rejecting?” repeated Y/N. There was no doubt in their voice, more cautious curiosity.

Derek nodded, “A memory, repressing it, and your body has linked the physical responses to your home. We think it has something to do with this case, and we’d like to see if we can retrieve any memories you might have. Would you be alright to come with us?”

“Yeah,” said Y/N, though they didn’t sound too certain, “Yeah sure.”

The resigned, too tired look on their face, and Spencer felt a tug in his chest. A longing to see Y/N smile like they had when they first entered the house. He’d rather hate someone who was happy than someone who suffered the same as him.

Leaving the house, Spencer took a deep breath of fresh air.

“Spencer?”

He ignored Y/N’s voice for a moment, but he couldn’t disregard Y/N standing in front of him and speaking again, “Spencer, can we talk please?”

“I’m busy,” He said, already walking off as he pretended to call someone, “Hey Garcia.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“Hold onto my hand, use it as an anchor, and squeeze when you feel fear.” Doctor Mohikian accepted Y/N’s hand on her wrist and their silence nod as they lay back on the same couch Spencer had been just hours before.

“I want you to think back to your childhood, back to when you were five. You’re at the park, your parents are on a bench watching nearby to keep you safe. What do you see?”

“Spencer Reid.”

Derek and Rossi glanced at Spencer, who did not react. They kept quiet so that Y/N could immerse themselves in the hypnosis.

“What’s he doing?” Doctor Mohikian continued.

“Teaching me chess.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Sat on opposite sides of the table, Spencer and Y/N’s eyes were glued to the chess pieces that were neatly organised between them. Spencer was thinking strategy. He could not say the same for his companion Y/N. They reached a hand out and hovered over the pieces before finally selecting their last knight.

Their tongue clicked as Y/N trotted the piece on the spot.

“What’s this one again?”

“The knight,” Spencer recited, “It moves two spaces up, down, left or right, and another step perpendicular to the first direction.”

“Brave creatures riding into battle,” Y/N narrated before continuing their clip-clopping to its new position, “Pawns in the game of war.”

Spencer didn’t understand how they were coming up with this whilst playing. Well, actually, he did. Because Y/N was clearly not playing to win. They were playing for the best possible story.

“Where do you think this story will end?” Y/N asked.

“I don’t know.”

“You’re lying,” said Y/N, pushing back the sleeves of their white cardigan, “Come on, you can tell me, with your magic powers.”

“It’s not magic. It’s logic.”

“That’s magic to me,”

Narrowing his eyes, Spencer decided that he should give his friend the information they sought: “I see checkmate in fifteen moves.”

“See? Magic! The gift of sight!” crowed Y/N, clapping their hands together. The cardigan sleeves fell back in place as they did so. Spencer felt his cheeks heat up; he dropped his head so he could smile in privacy while Y/N began to decide their next move.

“How’s your mommy today?”

Shrugging, Spencer said, “Better than normal. But that means a bad day is around the corner.”

Y/N nodded solemnly. “Do you want another ice cream? I got more birthday money.”

“No thank you.” Spencer moved the piece but was immediately intercepted by Y/N, “You’re getting better.”

“Fank you.”

“You’ll have to wait longer to beat me though.” And he snatched Y/N’s knight away, just as planned and much to Y/N’s dismay.

A new voice from their left spoke, “Hey you’re pretty good.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Y/N’s grip tightened on Doctor Mohikian’s wrist, “Someone’s with us.”

“Who do you see?” Doctor Mohikian asked patiently.

“A man. He’s asking us if he can watch us play, listen to the story.”

“Do you want him to stay?”

“No,” Y/N flinched, “But Spencer keeps talking to him. The man won’t go away.”

“It’s OK, it’s OK, you’re safe, Y/N.”

Y/N flinched again, this time letting out a whimper, “He’s on the floor.”

“Spencer is?”

“No, the man.”

“What’s he doing on the floor?”

“He’s,” Y/N began panting, their face tensing and body jerking, “I can’t get to him. There’s glass in the way and the ground is shaking.”

“Y/N.”

“I can’t look, I’ll be sick! Whenever I see them, sick.”

“OK, you’re going to wake up in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”

Their eyes snapped open with the click of the fingers and Y/N leapt out of Doctor Mohikian’s couch. Their head aimed over the bin by the door and they retched. Nothing came up but their stomach continued to squeeze up

Spencer fidgeted in his seat, trying his best not to look at Y/N. The choice words of the session, three in particular, wrapped around his head.

“Floor”.

Y/N had seen Gary Michaels inside, somewhere that wasn’t the park.

“Glass”.

A window, Y/N was watching what Gary Michaels was doing.

“Sick”.

“Go away! I can’t look at you! You make me feel sick, you and your family!”

“Them”.

It wasn’t just Michaels in the room alone. They had been a witness to his murder.

Derek’s movement to help Y/N took Spencer out of his analysis. Sweaty, Y/N was led back to the couch, the bin between their legs, head lolling forward. Spencer tried to move beside them for questioning, but Y/N winced and began heaving again. He felt that ache in his chest again. He was causing this and nothing he could do would change that. Not until they both knew what happened to Riley and Y/N got help through it.

“What did you see, Y/N?” Derek asked as he replaced Spencer’s spot beside them.

With watering eyes, Y/N looked at Spencer, “The man we played with, he was on the floor. His head – thank you.” They accepted the water from Doctor Mohikian, gulping some back, “It was smashed in.”

The three agents left the room, Doctor Mohikian following after Y/N left to get some air.

“It’s logical to assume that Y/N tied that sickness, that repulsion because of what they thought they saw your mother be involved with, to you and your family,” Doctor Mohikian evaluated.

Interrupting again, Spencer stammered his way through his analysis, “That’s why they avoided me. They associated me with being ill. It’s probably also why they ran away so much; they had to get away from this horrible feeling they had associated with their home.”

Doctor Mohikian shook her head, “We won’t be able to use this in court, I told you when we started.”

Derek’s phone started to ring. As he answered, Spencer somehow managed to slip away for long enough to find Y/N. They were leaning against the ramp’s railing in front of the practice, their body lifting and slumping with each deep breath they took. Against his better judgement, he moved toward them.

“Y/N? Can I have your number?”

The breathing slowed again.

“I need it to call you with an update on the situation as soon as we get one.”

Without looking up, Y/N pulled out their phone and handed it over to Spencer. He punched his number in a new contact, using this time to gather the courage to maybe say something else. The hurt and pain went beyond him now. Y/N was suffering and had been much longer than he had.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Spencer said quietly, hoping that his didn’t add to the illness, “I hope you feel better soon.”

Their head still down, Y/N croaked, “You too, Spencer.”

“Spencer, get over here! We got a match on a print on Michaels’ body!”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“What makes you think Gary Michaels killed your boy?”

“He admitted it,” Lou Jenkins said, as monotonous as he had been for the last fifteen minutes of the interrogation.

Derek’s quickfire was on Jenkins instantly, “You beat a guy with a baseball bat, he's going to admit to a lot of things. How do you know he was the right guy?”

“I know. He approached another kid in the neighbourhood.”

“And how do you know that?

“I was told by a concerned party.”

“Who? Another parent?”

Jenkins leant back in his chair, “That's all I'm going to say on the subject.”

“Who was it?” Spencer suddenly spoke up.

Caught off guard at his interjection, Jenkins awkwardly parroted himself, “I told you that's all I'm going to say on the sub—"

Reid slammed his hands on the table, getting right up in Lou’s face, “Who was it?”

The door opened, Detective Hyde appeared, “Agent Reid?”

“Do not interfere with this interrogation, detective,” shouted Spencer, “This is not your case anymore!”

Once again, he was cut off. This time, by the arrival of his own mother, Diana, and her admission of guilt: “Spencer, it was me”.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Of all the things this case had brought him, Spencer least expected to be sitting in a room with his mother and father together for the first time in years. To have Diana explain to him how she was involved in a child’s murder was also up there with the unthinkable.

But he stayed quiet and listened to her confession.

The reveal that she had seen Gary Michaels playing chess with him and Y/N, that she and got a feeling that something was wrong before anything had even happened, opened the story. Lou Jenkins’ involvement was next on the menu. Two days after the chess game, he drove Diana to Michaels’ house, disclosed his history of child abuse, and demanded she leave while he went into the house.

Upon reaching the point where she entered the house, Diana struggled with her words. William reached over and took her hand.

She described seeing Lou with the bat, standing over the body, slipping in the pool of blood, finding Y/N standing in the window and their face, their little face as innocent as the white cardigan that covered their shoulders and absorbed the blood from Diana’s hands as she shook their shoulders.

“And the rest... It's all dark after that.”

William continued for her. Diana came home and brought Y/N with her. Eventually he came to understand what had happened and decided that nobody could ever know.

“You were burning her bloody clothes,” Spencer concluded.

His father nodded, “But the knowing, you can't burn that away. It changes everything.”

“You paid for Y/N to go to therapy.”

William didn’t seem surprised that Spencer knew this, going straight into explaining: “They went into a dissociative fugue state after seeing what Lou had done. When Diana brought them home, they were just stiff. I asked them for their home number, to call their parents, but they started screaming and throwing up. We had to take them to the police station.” He mopped his brow with a handkerchief, “They needed help, but their parents couldn’t afford it. And they didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t drag another person into this, Spencer.”

“Is this why you left?”

“I tried to keep us together, Spencer. I swear to you, but the weight of that knowledge, it was too much.”

“You could have come back. Could have started over.”

“I didn't know how to take care of you anymore. When I lost that confidence, there was no going back. What's done is done.”

“At least now you know the truth,” Diana made an effort to smile at her son

Choking on his words and the overwhelming remorse he felt, Spencer refused to look at his parents any longer, “I was wrong about everything. I'm sorry.”

And William said something that Spencer had been waiting for, for a long time, “I am, too, Spencer.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

All of this was repeated when Spencer walked with Y/N through their old park the following day. Filling the final gaps in the memory would hopefully bring some respite to them both. Or at least maybe something to start the recovery process, easing Y/N’s sickness and Spencer’s pain.

“I’m sorry for my behaviour during this case,” Spencer sniffed, “When you said we made you sick, back when we were four, I thought you had seen my mom during one of her episodes and thought she was a freak, like everyone else.”

That stopped Y/N in their tracks, their hands coming up to cover their mouth, their eyes misty, “Oh Spencer, I’m sorry too, I’m so, so sorry I caused you so much pain.”

Spencer’s hands rushed up as if to create belated damage control, “It’s ok! I hurt you too. I made you sick.”

“That wasn’t your fault though.”

“It wasn’t yours either. We were kids.”

Almost pedantic, stropping, like a child again, Y/N moaned, “It’s all been such a waste. We could have been friends all this time!”

“We can be friends now,” Spencer pushed his hands down into his pockets to stop them flailing about anymore. His sentence was phrased more like a question.

One that Y/N gladly answered, “I would like really that.”

Sitting in the reply for a moment, Spencer followed up on his concerns, “How are you feeling? I mean, are you feeling sick again?”

“A bit, but I can handle it.”

Spencer could not see any changes in their behaviour from the day before. So obviously they were lying about that. But he didn’t protest. The lie meant Y/N wanted to stay with him, which was good - Spencer wanted that too.

They kept walking, only in silence for half a minute before Spencer broke it again, “I read your books last night.”

“Yeah?”

“‘The Siege of the Lost Faiths’ in Rogue’s Mask, that was our first game of chess.”

“It had by far the best narrative,” Y/N dragged their shoe a little on the grass before coming to a stop, “Do you still play?”

“All the time.”

They nodded over to where the old chess tables still stood, “Fancy a game before you go?”

Spencer grinned, “Just promise that this is the only setting where we’ll be on conflicting sides from now on.”

“Promise.”

Brushing the debris from the table, they both took their places opposite each other. From Y/N’s bag was revealed a box, spilling their painted chess pieces across the board. Remembering how they had stood in Y/N’s room, Spencer helped to set up the match. They took their seats opposite one another. Y/N was the green side, Spencer the purple.

Spencer moved first. After a second’s deliberation, Y/n moved their pawn.

“Isn’t there a story with this one?” Spencer said, an implicated teasing in his tone despite his shyness.

With an equally bashful eye roll, Y/N started their new story, “First begins the battle with the royals on both sides sending intrepid messengers to meet and pass along their deeds.”

Spencer took Y/N’s pawn. As he lifted their piece away, he spoke quietly, “One not as intrepid as the other.”

A gasp dropped from Y/N’s smile. He had never joined in the narrative telling before, always too taken up in the match to invest in whatever story they spun.

“He’s not a coward,” They said, still smiling, much to Spencer’s delight, “Prisoner’s dilemma, he just couldn’t trust the other with his life.”

“Did they know each other before this battle?”

“Yes,” Y/N moved a knight across, stealing Spencer’s pawn, “They were brothers who once shared a crib and now they share a grave.”

Throughout the game, Y/N continued the story with Spencer asking questions just to hear them talk more. The maturity of the stories had grown just as Y/N’s voice had. They knuckled their eyes a few times, but they didn’t complain about the headache.

“I know what endings you like,” Spencer moved his rook, “Checkmate in five.”

Y/N didn’t seem to mind that little dig, “This’ll have to be a short story instead then.”

Spencer’s next sentence got away from him, trailing off the closer he got to the end of it, “You could write an anthology series, if we see each other again and play more games.”

Where Spencer’s voice disappeared, Y/N’s returned with invigoration, “That’s not a half bad idea, Spencer.”

The checkmate never came. Y/N diverted the ending into a draw.

“A peace treaty has been forged by the survivors, because too many lives have been lost to justify this violence anymore. If only they realised sooner that no blood had to be shed for peace to rule the lands.” And they smiled at Spencer, clearly chuffed as they leaned back in their chair, “Bit of an upgrade from the horse noises, I’ll say.”

Spencer rotated the purple knight – the illusionist – between his thumb and forefinger, “I liked the horse noises.”

“You should have said during the match! I’d recreate them, for you.”

One by one, the pieces were placed back into their box until the last piece remained in Spencer’s palm: the knight or Soren the Illusionist, distractions and deceptions but he loved the tricks that delighted most of all. Just like Spencer with his magic tricks but a little to the left. The character was always one of Y/N’s favourites. Some solace away from the pain of thinking of who he was based on.

Y/N pushed Spencer’s hand away, closes his fist around it, “Keep him. He was made with you in mind anyway.”

The information sank in and Spencer’s nose wrinkled with the little smile on his face as he cupped the little Illusionist, “I’m Soren?”

Nodding, Y/N confirmed, “You’re Soren.”

“But what about your set though?”

“I can always make and paint another knight,” and Y/N tilted the piece upside down in Spencer’s hand, revealing the signature on the underside, “You and him are the originals, it’s only fair you stay together.”

In a moment of pure instinct and nostalgia, Spencer clicked his tongue as he twisted Soren in time with the noise. Y/N let out a burst of laughter that dragged the air out of Spencer’s chest.

“Hey, do you wanna get dinner tonight?” He said, running out of breath very quickly as a result.

It had a similar effect on Y/N, “I thought you – don’t you have to get back to Virginia?”

“I have time for dinner. For you.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

The bookstore was packed but the breath of the patrons was held as one. All eyes were watching the mini stage where a crouching figure lifted their head up slowly. A jump as the tension broke with the figure leaping up to their feet with a bang.

Y/N pushed up the brim of their cap. Snatching a deep green hoodie from the purple trunk – silver constellations painted on the sides – they swung it over their back before picking up the page where they had left off.

“Nasima looked up at Mason and said, ‘Well that was just unnecessary.’”

A burst of laughter shot through the pre-teens in the front row, spreading to the adolescents sitting further back who had grown up with the author’s other works, finally reaching the adults at the back where Spencer was fiddling with his cane. He adjusted the sleeve of his costume absentmindedly. He was just like everyone else in the room: captivated by how Y/N was so immersed in their reading.

They had just mimed kicking down a door, plus sound effects from their mouth. Swapping back and forth between the two conflicting characters arguing with one another, changing between the hoodie and the cap with every other line of dialogue and taking both off for the role of the narrator, it was certainly a workout.

An exaggerated breath was drawn into Y/N’s lungs, flopping over in a melodramatic state, which caused another laugh in the audience.

Spencer’s nose scrunched up as he grinned. He knew this was part of the scene; he’d seen Y/N rehearse this story in their sitting room. It was so much better to share this with an audience, for their reactions to fuel Y/N’s energy.

Y/N finished the short story A Battle of Bent Truths with a flourish, leaving the rest of the anthology for their audience to read in their own time. The kids were up on their feet first. Some of them were jumping up and down as they applauded with the rest of the shop. Y/N gave a big grin as they bowed, sweeping their cap off for extra drama.

There was a book signing and a photographer that followed, and Spencer waited patiently at the end of the queue, thankful that the store allowed him to bring a chair along with him. He was happy to entertain his godson and friends with a few tricks to pass the time.

“Another one please!” Henry jumped up and down when Spencer revealed his card.

A minor commotion arose by the photographer’s backdrop. There was a teenager was crying; she was clutching her copy of Untold Tales of Human Nature. Y/N was holding their shoulders, rubbing gently and speaking softly. Only half paying attention to his next trick, Spencer kept an eye on Y/N as they hugged the teenager, looking near tears themselves.

“Spencer?” J.J tapped him on the shoulder and Spencer realised that Henry was looking a little mad to have lost his godfather’s attention so easily.

“Sorry, Henry, can you pick another card please?”

When they reached the front of the queue, JJ went up first and took Henry and his pals up to see Y/N. They instantly recognised JJ and welcomed her with a tight hug. Henry was delighted to see his favourite babysitter and show them off to his school friends, boasting that they had read to him before today.

“They read me bits for bedtime, Mommy!”

“I know!” JJ tickled his cheek, “I read them to you too.”

“Who do you like better?”

“Mommy,”

Y/N gasped, dropping to their knees which made Spencer wince, “Henry, you wound me!”

Rossi approach next, knowing that once Spencer got to Y/N, they would not be left alone.

“You really know how to captivate an audience,” He kissed them on both cheeks, “Though don’t take offence if I don’t use the same tricks at my readings.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it! Thank you for coming.”

Y/N then caught Spencer’s eye and began meandering over to him with a smile they were desperately trying to stifle. Spencer rose from his chair, meeting Y/N in the middle.

“Hi, Spencer.”

With his free arm, Spencer flaunted his cloak, “Who is Spencer? I’m Soren the Illusionist!”

Giggles from his godson, his godson’s gang, his co-workers and friends, they almost caused Y/N to lose their composure. They held on just long enough to continue the banter.

“Oh, forgive me, you look so much like my boyfriend.”

“Hmmm, he must be very handsome,”

And Y/N burst into peals of laughter, waving their hands about, “OK, stop, stop, stop, I can’t.”

“Hey!” Spencer pretended to take offence, pouting as Y/N brought him into a hug.

“Don’t worry,” They kissed his cheek between giggles, “You are so very handsome.”

“To think you were once sick at the sight of me.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x reader #my writing #r: gender neutral #wc: 5k+

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stonylovessteve · 4 years ago

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SLS 2021 Creator Reveals

We’ve reached the end of the exchange and that means it’s time to reveal the creators of all our works!

Thank you for putting so much love and effort into Stony Loves Steve 2021, you really made it a great experience. We hope everyone loved it as much as we did!

Giftees, be sure to leave a comment and kudos on your gift if you haven’t already. All our creators worked hard to make this event a success, so show them some love.

You can now post your work publicly outside of the exchange. Tag it as #stonylovessteve2021 on tumblr and we’ll reblog you. @ us @stonylovessteve on twitter and we’ll retweet you.

Below the cut is the final list of all the works produced for the exchange and the creators.

Cold as Ice, Warm my Heart by lil_aussie_girl for parkrstark (MCU, 1.5k)

The cold took away one love already, and his greatest fear is that it will do it again - before he has the chance to say those three important words.

Strength Like The Sea/A Familiar Yet Foreign Face by Lacrimula_Falsa for funkyspacegirlfriend (AU, 3k)

There had to be another explanation for the ugly burning feeling in his chest because this wasn’t a rom-com and he’d known Steve for less than a day.

After years of his father fruitlessly searching for one, Tony finally gets to meet a real-life vampire.

· · ·*‒*‒ ‒ ‒*‒ ·*‒ · ‒ ‒

Anthony.

No, not Anthony, because Anthony had crumbled to dust right before his eyes. But this man looked so eerily similar to him, he could have been Anthony’s twin brother. Only the eyes were different, warm brown instead of cold blue. After being woken nearly a century after he went into stasis because the pain of losing his lover Anthony was too much, Steven meets a man who looks just like him.

I Know There is Comfort Where We Overlap by jellybeanforest for ghosthan (Ults, 10k)

As a relic of a bygone era, Steve struggles with feelings of isolation and severe depression made worse by his recent breakup with Jan Pym. He secretly hooks up with random strangers chasing a sense of connection with someone, anyone. Things are going (not) well when he and fellow Ultimate, Iron Man, are tasked with infiltrating a Thai resort serving as a front for illegal arms dealing. Only catch: They must go undercover as a married couple on their honeymoon.

finding steve rogers by jacobby for geekymoviemom (MCU, 6k)

Steve sighs. “Sorry. I wasn’t a very good tour guide. Ma always told me about the town, but she never got into specifics.”

Tony takes Steve’s hand in his and places it close to his lips. “It’s your first time here too. We understand.”

AKA

After a botched mission with SHIELD, Steve takes a vacation with his family to a town in Ireland.

Things are knot as they seem by BladeoftheNebula for DepressingGreenie (AU, 3k)

Everyone assumes Captain America is an alpha and Steve doesn’t see the harm in not correcting them. After all, Alphas command respect while omegas are still considered far too delicate for leadership.

And sure, it sucks hiding his designation when he’s in love with Tony Stark, the hottest alpha he’s ever seen, but what alpha would want an omega who could lift them with one hand?

So it’s fine. It’s not as if anyone was ever going to find out his secret anyway…

A drop of love by CapAL for Perlmutt (AU, Comic)

After sleeping for 70 years Steve wakes up to a world that he doesn’t understand. As an age-old vampire he’s seen a lot of things in his life, but nothing has ever confused him as much as the bubbly Starbucks barista Tony. They meet by chance and Steve stays. He falls for him, even though he knows he shouldn’t, and together they explore modern New York, while Steve tries to hide his true nature from Tony, afraid that he would send him away if he knew the truth.

The Fake Prince and the Cat by Neverever for Fluffypanda (AU, 5.5k)

Steve is sent in place of Prince Brock to marry the libertine Tony Stark. It's better than he thought it would be, plus he makes friends with a cat.

father to son by parkrstark for HogwartsToAlexandria (MCU, 2.5k)

Steve had been planning on asking Peter to be his son, officially, for weeks now, but he always chickened out because he didn't thik he was good enough for the boy. Funnily enough, Peter had the same idea, but when he showed the adoption papers to Steve, he didn't have the best of reactions.

The Best Half Of Me by Huntress79 for RoseRose (AU, 1.5k)

An encounter with one of his exes at a charity gala opens Tony’s eyes about how much he really loves Steve - and how much he’s looking forward to their future together.

neither here nor there by ghosthan for Welcoming_Disaster (616, 18k)

Captain America comes back from Dimension Z changed. He has had over a decade of his life taken from him, as well as the woman he loved. Stoic, secretive, and traumatized, much of what he experienced remains a mystery to SHIELD and the world; Tony is there to help him heal, and uncover the truth about how much Steve has lost.

The Eventide Aspect by geekymoviemom for ishipallthings (MCU, T, 12k)

“Yeah, Cap, about that,” Tony says, looking rather sheepish as he scratches at the back of his neck.

“Yeah?” asks Steve.

“Well… remember those half-baked ideas that I mentioned? I’m afraid this might be one of ‘em,” says Tony.

“Okay. Care to explain it to someone who doesn't speak technical?”

“Ahh…” Tony trails off, mumbling under his breath again. “Yeah. Um… if my theory is correct, I’m thinking that when we stepped through that window, we might’ve entered another dimension.”

Looking by Robin_tCJ for Vento_Lunar (MCU, E, 4k)

After a raid on a HYDRA base, Steve's body reverts back to the way it was before the serum. Tony still wants him.

You Had Me in the First Half by Corsets_and_Cardigans for Robin_tCj (MCU, E, 2k)

Steve is on his way to meet Bucky for a movie before their football team goes away for a game. Too bad Tony has plans for him! He'll apologize to Bucky for it later.

the rest is history by starksnack for muchmoremajestic (Avengers Academy, G, 2k)

It's Steve's birthday and he usually likes to spend it alone. Of course, Tony has other ideas.

Basically just some soft AvAc fluff.

(Let Me) Love and Be Loved by HeLovedYou for wikketkrikket (MCU, T, 6k)

Steve forgets how to self-sabotage his own happiness.

He also forgets his team, his soulmate and the last three years of his life.

avengers featuring steve’s doppleganger vol 1 (FANCOMIC) by wingheads for jellybeanforrest (616, Art)

tony dates a man who looks a lot like steve. everyone can see it, everyone knows what that means, except tony, who doesn't seem to realize he's dating steve's doppelganger. steve doesn't see the resemblance either and actually comes to like tony's new boyfriend, but then one of the other avengers spills the beans that they look exactly alike to tony, who can't unsee it now and breaks up with the new guy, only for steve to be sad that his baseball-buddy won't be around anymore.

Hart Island by Amber_Skye for lil_aussie_girl (MCU, G, 12k)

Steve is acting out of character, and Tony and the other Avengers can’t work out why.

the soul of dragons by funkyspacegirlfriend for Amber_Skye (MCU, T, 2k)

Steve’s dragon companion is the largest Tony’s ever seen up close. And she captivates Tony from the very first moment.

Just in the Knit of Time by DepressingGreenie for picturecat (Avengers Assemble, T, 2.5k)

Steve only has a week to tell Tony he loves him before his secret is leaked to the world.

Learning Curve by picturecat for Huntress79 (Avengers Academy AU, G, 2k)

Freshly defrosted, Steve Rogers is the newest teacher at the Avengers Academy—an attempt to guide and teach the newest generation of heroes before they have to take on the burdens of their teachers. Steve himself has a lot of learning to do.

First Impression by veryvincible for wingheads (616, M, 7k)

The Avengers find the schematics of a deadly weapon in the hands of an up-and-coming villain. To safely retrieve the data that led to its creation and keep the city safe in the process, they have to take a very subtle approach. The man-- Jack Marshall-- has an eye for hunks and a tendency to get vulnerable with them. The team could use this to their advantage, if they have the right assets.

Enter Steve.

Dandelions and Lilies by Wikketkrikket for CapAL (AU, G, 4k)

Written for CapAL for the StonylovesSteve event 2021.

A summer job in the florists is pretty good, as summer jobs go; and when a handsome guy comes in with some very particular requirements it gets even better.

Or it would, if Steve wasn't lying about the meaning of every bouquet he sold.

Potshot by jellybeanforest for jacobby (AU, T, 2.5k)

In an expansive wasteland infested with hordes of the undead, Steve, leader of a group of ex-military operatives known as the Avengers, searches for survivors and supplies in the ruins of the old world.

That’s all well and good, but Tony would do just about anything for an American cheeseburger.

For Stony Loves Steve 2021. Based on a prompt by jacobby.

Remorse and Rapture by oliverparker for optimusprime13 (AU, E, 6k)

When Steve's mother falls ill, he's forced to move in with the family she works for. He's not thrilled about it.

Shards of Eternities by Perlmutt for starksnack (AU, T, 5k)

Rumor had it that the war would soon be over. It could not end soon enough. Until then, Anthony would wait for Steven. He would wait and protect their child. He would wait and write another thousand letters for his alpha, his mate, his husband, if only he would come home, come for him, come for them.

Two Can Play That Game by JehBeEhh for Becci Barnes (BeccEEE) (MCU, T, 4k)

Tony Stark is many things. Patient isn't always one of them. Especially not when there's a happily ever after at the end of that bout of patience.

Uncovered by mariana_oconnor for Corsets_and_Cardigans (MCU, G, 6k)

Steve didn't think the tip-off was anything more than the usual nonsensical conspiracy theory. He only went to check it out because he was curious. He definitely wasn't expecting it to be a trap.

Build Me Up Buttercup by ishipallthings for BladeoftheNebula (4k, M, MCU)

Tony sees the gold letters spelling “Stark” on the edge of Steve’s hood and his mind grinds to a halt. Steve looks good wearing his name. Too good.

(In which Steve starts experimenting with a new style. Tony does not find this infuriatingly attractive, thank you very much.)

Discovery [Art] by Fluffypanda for captainstars (Art, G, Noir)

Renowned adventurer Tony Stark discovers a carving of a lost civilization's protector.

I left my heart (at home with you) by captainstars for UisceOneLove (2k, G, AU)

It shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did.

The man grinned at him, wide and beautiful. Steve couldn’t help sneaking another glance towards the heavens. They really lost their citizens fairly easily. Steve would like to say this was the first white robed beauty he had come across until now, but he wasn’t.

(OR)

Steve moved to a cabin in the woods hoping to live the life of a hermit werewolf. When Tony Stark decided to become his new neighbor, it threw a bit of a wrench into Steve’s plans.

(OR)

A werewolf and an incubus cuddling in a tree.

Raspberry Beret (I Think I Love Her) by ralsbecket for oliverparker (4k, M, 3490)

When Steve looked at Natasha, he knew in his heart that she was what put his derailed train back on its tracks. For the first time since they met, Steve felt like he had some semblance of a plan for his future. And he wanted Natasha to be a part of it.

Savior Complex by optimusprime13 for HeLovedYou (18.5k, G, AU)

Wealthy businessman Steve Rogers stumbles into barely-getting-by Tony Stark in a cemetery, and they hit it off immediately. Steve is enamored by Tony’s razor-sharp wit, his startling intelligence, and his penchant for building stuff. He has a problem though - he can’t stop wanting to save everybody around him, especially Tony - who is struggling to make ends meet. However, Tony is too proud and stubborn to accept any help from Steve. But when Tony gets kidnapped to act as bait for Steve, how far will Steve go to save Tony when it means sacrificing himself?

Through His Stomach by RoseRose for JehBeeEh (2k, G, MCU)

Steve decides he wants to try to cook with all the new ingredients he has found in this new time, but he needs someone else to taste-test his creations. Tony is holed up in his workshop, so he makes the perfect guinea pig. The two of them grow closer over several meals.

Iron & Sapphire by Becci Barnes (BeccEEE) for Lacrimula_Falsa (AU, 5k)

Steve can always sense him, long before Tony enters his cave. It makes his blue scales tremble and his big wings flutter in excitement. Tony brings light and warmth into this musty hideout he calls home. And food. And while they may be as odd a couple as you can imagine, that won't stop them from bantering and cuddling just like anyone else.

Man On The Moon by Welcoming_Disaster for veryvincible (616, 7k)

Things haven't been the same since Steve has found out about Tony's secret identity. A mission that goes wrong forces both of them to confront why.

I Love You to the Moon and Back by muchmoremajestic for mariana_oconnor (MCU, 3k)

After Steve gets attacked in the woods, certain changes start happening.

Happy Birthday to America's ass by njava97 for ralsbecket (MCU, 2.5k)

It's the night before Steve's birthday and something is very wrong.

Magic's in the Moving Portrait by UisceOneLove for neverever (AU, 9.5k)

Without his ma, Steve's lost his ability to make art. In walks new wizarding student Tony Stark, who also happens to be his new roommate. All hope might not be lost just yet for him and his brush.

Reach The Sky by Vento_Lunar for njava97 (MCU, art)

Non-serum Steve Rogers saves the world. (And Tony saves him)

#stonylovessteve2021

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lnterjection · 4 years ago

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Sleepy Bois Inc and DSMP Fanfic Recs

Uhhh I realized I have a ton of stuff in my bookmarks list and might as well compile a list of favorites because I’m always looking for good fanfics, and this might help some people. Most of these are SBI, though a few focus on things other than their dynamic with each other. Nothing explicit here. Feel free to suggest more recs.

Fics set in DSMP universe/about DSMP (One-shots first, then longer fics):

One-shots and series of one-shots-

therein lies the madness by sapphicist - 2095 words. Currently says it’s one chapter out of three complete, but can be read as a standalone one-shot. Nice introspective fic on Tommy’s exile and his parallels with Theseus. In 2nd person, but it’s actually done nicely. Mostly angsty, can have hopeful interpretation depending on how you look at it.

crazy how life goes on without me (2090 words, one-shot) by itisjosh - What if Ghostbur did remember everything, and just pretended to be clueless and vapid? Made me cry. It’s so good. Tortured my heart.

the inner mechanism of a black box (13521 words, one-shot) by Bee_4 - only work of a series called “system theory”. “Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault. There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.” Yeah so Techno’s mental health goes out the window in this one and its written brilliantly. There’s comfort at the end, if it helps?

A State For One Man Is No State At All (5247 words, two-shot) by angstfortheangstgod - “A different version of the festival, in which Dream shows up unarmed, the Community House is left intact, a traitor is executed, and Tommy doesn't betray Technoblade.” Ranboo centric. Angst and comfort.

All the Kings Men series by MollyPollyKinz - “After Ghostbur's suggestion to do Lads on Tour, Tommy finds himself reunited with his family. However, escaping from Dream is going to be harder than anyone previously thought.” A connected series of one-shots and short fics about Tommy, his exile, his family, and escaping Dream. Well written, good characterization, great studies into the characters themselves.

ad astra per aspera series by cacowhistle - Collection of one-shots that start with Tommy’s exile and expand to be about SBI and their dynamic with each other, including a resurrected Wilbur. Really, really well written and probably my favorite of the “Tommy exile fic groups”.

the fall of a hero series by cracklesnaple - “After being threatened with being exiled yet again, Tommy takes the decision into his own hands. If those around him can't see that he's given up everything to make this nation what it is, then he's not sure he can stay in L'Manburg any longer.” Series about SBI and mainly Tommy, eventually crossing over into Mianite territory in a way some might enjoy and some might now. Writing’s good, though, which is what I care about.

Longer fics-

Rewind (101002 words, 25 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by Anonymous - Best time travel fix-it fic I’ve ever read period. Tubbo and Tommy travel 10 years back from a very messed up future to the first L’Manberg election. Concept may seen a bit weird at first but trust me, holy fuck this is amazing.

second chances (hurt the most) (8841 words, 4 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by Anonymous - “Wilbur wakes up alone in a bloody room, and has to come to terms with living again. (How can he go on, knowing who's blood is on his hands?)”. Amazing fic where resurrection requires someone else’s life as sacrifice. Phil is dead. Wilbur struggles to come to terms with his father’s decision, and his second chance.

all scotch, no soda (47466 words, 43 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 14 2021) by fishstixx - “Vulnerability meant trust, though, and trust was a thing not so easily given. Post-exile and canon divergent, follows the consequences of Tommy’s isolation. Expect chases, heists, bloodshed, and the mending of a family.” Features raccon hybrid Tommy being badass, and I live for it. I really, really love this one.

DON’T FORGET THAT ICARUS FLEW. (16426 words, 6/10 chapters, last updated Jan 1. 2021) by orpheusaki - “The day before and the days that follow Tommy's exile; told through the eyes of The Blood God.” Techno (and Dream) is a god, and gods often forget how the intricacies of the minds of mortals. He’s trying to get better, however.

what do you fall for? (16374 words, complete) by tablrcloth - Ranboo centric fic with Techno, Phil and Tommy. Ranboo realizes that playing L’Manberg’s politics is less than ideal for him. What can I say, it’s just really good.

Breathing’s Just a Rhythm (12631 words, 6 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by MollyPollyKinz - “Tommy, Tubbo, Jschlatt, and Dream all end up in the past. (Oh, and the Chat comes too).” Great time travel fic.

What World Have We Inherited? (73635 words, 12 chapters, unfinished and last updated on Dec 22 2020) by Anonymous (this one has a series with all their works, and they’re all AMAZING). Holy fuck this one is probably one of my favorite fics in the fandom so far. “Wilbur blows everything to hell on the day of the Manburg festival, just like he wanted. When the ashes settle, it's just Tommy and Technoblade. It's not good, but it's better than nothing. It's just them, healing up in a world that never wanted them.” Amazing characterization, worldbuilding, everyone’s internal thoughts are portrayed and written so well. Even if it never updates again I would keep coming back to it. I rec this Anon’s works so much.

In June, I Changed My Tune (29489 words, 6 chapters, unfinished and last updated on Jan 6 2021) by KryOnBlock - Eret runs away and eventually becomes friends with Techno. Nice cottagecore aesthetic. I have mixed feelings about this one - the writing’s good, descriptions and characterizations are really good. Just that there’s consistent punctuation mistakes and it takes me out of the world a bit. Everything else is good enough for me to continue reading, however.

stay with him (24353 words, 12 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 9 2021) by junipersand - I especially rec the first chapter, which can be read (and originally was) a standalone fic with the summary “Every ghost had a purpose to fulfill. So what was Tommy’s?” Utterly heartwrenching, probably the most emotionally gut-punching bit of writing I’ve ever read in this fandom. It continues with other lore stuff afterwards that eventually branch off from just SBI and Tommy, but man. I don’t think I can ever forget that first chapter.

I’m not angry at you, well, sometimes I am (52801 words, 16 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 14 2021) by sircantus - After Tommy is exiled, he runs away to Techno’s house instead of going off with Dream. SBI decide some revenge and “world domination” is in order.

Fics set in AUs outside DSMP happenings:

One-shots and series of one-shots-

Empty Crowns AU by UnderUrsa - the SBI + Tubbo are gods, and a family. Series of one-shots. Nicely written, what can I say? Some angst, some fluff.

Secure, Contain, Protect AU by blue000jay - Amazingly written SCP AU. Knowledge of the SCP universe would help with understanding some more meta things, but is not needed to understand most of it. Some angst, disturbing themes around memories but nothing terribly gory.

CLASSIFIEDS. (13804 words, finished). SCP pages on SBI, short stories and audio transcriptions as well as files, lots of good lorebuilding here. Features an escape, + Tubbo!

CONFIDENTIALS. (13232 words, finished). Centers on Dream Team.

ARCHIVES. (1270 words, one-shot). What happened after SBI and Tubbo’s escape from the SCP foundation.

old gods (new gods) AU by WriterWinged - the relatively well known SBI gods AU. Amazingly written, great character interpretations.

the gods are cruel (none crueler then you) (1394 words, one-shot) - As much the grammatical mistake in the title hurts me it’s no doubt one of the best pieces of work in the fandom.

and yet they find kindness (and so do you) (2/4 chapters posted) - continuation of “the gods are cruel”.

there’s a risk to the world (but the kindest are strongest) (2/3 chapters posted) - continuation of “the gods are cruel”.

SBI Antarctic Princes AU by ScripWriter - One of several Antarctic Empire AUs, this one just has these two preliminary one-shots but they’re nice bits of fun and neatly written. All fluff and mild hurt with lots of comfort so far.

Younger Holding On Another (1781 words, one-shot). Techno is a good brother and reassures and newly adopted Tommy.

But Oh, Don’t You Know How It Goes (2511 words. one-shot). Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur have some “fun” at a boring gala. Phil is very exasperated.

Antarctic Princes ‘verse AU by BirchWrites - AU where Techno, Tommy, and Wilbur are princes of the Antarctic Empire (well, Techno’s technically the emperor now), but this time the events of DSMP still happen (at least up to the 1st season).

Homeward bound for the arctic ground (10562 words, one-shot). Wilbur and Tommy travel to the Antarctic Empire in person to ask Techno for help in fighting Schlatt. Good worldbuilding and acknowledges Wilbur’s beginnings of insanity while still being rather light.

Surprise Hugs (2542 words, one-shot). Dream doesn’t realize Tommy is Techno’s brother and thinks he’s going to get killed for tackling the infamous Blood God.

Family Reunions (1396 words, one-shot). Fundy never realized he’s loyalty and Techno informs him unexpectedly.

Longer fics-

leave me your starlight (14620 words, 4 chapters, unfinished and last updated Jan 11 2021) by findingkairos - “Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war. This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.“ Amazing backstory fic on Phil and Techno’s relationships, one of my absolute personal favorites. Very well written and really digs into the intricacies of Techno’s character (or an interpretation of it, but hey, that’s what all fanfiction is).

I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight (21736 words, 5 chapters, last updated Jan 13 2021) by sircantus - another Antarctic princes AU, this time centering on 16 year old Tommy catching the attention of Phil, Techno, and Wilbur after thwarting an assassination attempt. Really well written. Actually, I rec all of sircantus’ SBI stuff because they do amazing work.

antarctic adage (26591 words, 4/7 chapters posted, last updated Jan 13 2021) by blue000jay - Another very well written Antarctic princes AU with Emperor/ruler Phil. Are we seeing a pattern yet? blue000jay is another writer I’d rec, with really great SBI stuff.

a renewal of faith, and of family (56684 words, 31 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 13 2021) by SolivangantStories - One of the only fics here that doesn’t feature SBI, this one is Tubbo and Dream centered. Basically, the DSMP!Tubbo is executed by Schlatt and wakes up in a world where Manhunt!Dream is trying not to die and is also actually a nice person, to Tubbo’s surprise and confusion. Not SBI and technically not even DSMP, but it’s really good so I’ve decided to rec it anyway.

#dream smp #sleepy bois inc #sbi #fanfiction #fanfic recs #dsmp #technoblade #wilbur soot #philza #tommyinnit #tubbo #dream #ranboo #feel free to suggest more recs #sbi fanfic recs #sbi fanfic

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lucas-koh · 4 years ago

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Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC XIV

Open Heart; only somewhat canon compliant.

Parts 1-13 linked in bio

Song: When My Love Won’t Stick To You - Whitaker

Rating: M, swearing, sexual language, references of violence

Word Count: 3286

Taglist: @lahellacute @lahamseiroshoe @anotherbeingsworld @fuseboxmusebox @choicesficwriterscreations @bubblelaureno @bratzlahela @eleanorbloom @bryceslahela @thegreentwin @kelseaaa @kingkassam || please let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from this list

A/N: just to say Stitches will not be updating next Friday, since it’s Christmas Day I will not be majorly online. I’ll be posting again Jan 1st 2021💛

Chapter Fourteen: Everything Goes But The Memories Made

“What?” She barely whispered, her head spinning. Bryce had just revealed to her that he remembered her from their college days when they’d shared a kiss once, drunk.

He looked nervous, afraid to continue, but he did.

“Truth be told, I always had a soft spot for you. You know when you just feel warm around someone, even if you barely know them? That’s how you made me feel. When I’d see you studying at the library with snacks and coffee splayed all around you, or when I’d see you at the hospital for lectures, it was always just a mental ‘hey, I know you’ and suddenly everything would feel okay. Seeing someone you recognise is really grounding, you know? Especially when there’s a distance and you don’t really know them. And I liked the competition of it all, that you were so smart and always number 1 but didn’t even know it was me at number 2, because you were so confident in your own abilities you didn’t need to look back. I wanted to be your friend, but you didn’t seem to have the time, so I let you be. And then you kissed me at that frat party and I thought, god, this is amazing. I didn’t think into it too much - college and all - but I have thought about it a lot since. And then when you crashed into me on our first day at Edenbrook, at first I didn’t know who you were. You look different, you know. It’s been like, seven years, after all, it wasn’t until I saw your name tag that it hit me. Why you’d felt so familiar. But I wanted to wait until you recognised me too, if you even did. And then when you did, I got nervous, and tried to ignore it.”

Holy shit. He… he really remembered me. Not even just from the kiss, either, he remembered me before that.

Suki stammered a little before the words came out, “…Bryce… I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just say?”

“Honestly? I was embarrassed that you didn’t recognise me to begin with. More so, I was embarrassed that I’d known you and recognised you and always thought about you every now and then and you hadn’t,” he said. “I guess it felt sort of… creepy?”

“Wow…” was all she could stifle out. She was at a loss for much more.

Bryce had remembered her, for all this time. Things felt like they were looking up, the way he’d opened up to her and finally told her the truth. Unfortunately, the altercation with Fred and Ben wouldn’t stop nagging at the back of Suki’s brain.

“…sorry,” Bryce exhaled, rubbing his hand across his neck bashfully.

“No, I- don’t worry. I get it. It was just a kiss I’m sure you had loads, but it’s weird.”

“This is why- I didn’t want you to think I was weird.”

“No! Not you! I’m really glad I’m not forgettable,” she laughed lightly, “it’s weird that… oh god it’s going to sound ridiculous.”

“It can’t sound more ridiculous than what I just said. I won’t laugh,” he said, then twisted the corner of his mouth up into a grin, “maybe.”

She sighed, burying her head in her hands before coming out with it. “I guess it just feel like we keep being pulled together, like, i don’t know,” she felt her cheeks become seriously hot, “fate.”

Bryce had lied, because he burst out laughing, which then devolved into a coughing fit and had Suki patting him on the back. Maybe a little harder than she was meant to.

“Ow!”

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!” Except she was laughing, too.

“I know, I know. You just looked funny. Honestly? I do see what you mean. All signs pointing to us ended up here,” he gestured between them, sat facing each-other in his bed.

Maybe this cosmic power she’d been cursing for all the early embarrassing encounters wasn’t so bad after all.

—-

Bryce and Suki talked for hours about college, and their stories, and people they knew in common. They laughed about how Suki didn’t even know Bryce sat near her in most lectures, and only knew him by his reputation.

A little later, after raking through Bryce’s Stanford yearbook and finding Suki in there, Bryce pulled out his high school yearbook.

“This is my senior photo. Just before graduation.”

Bryce was smiling up from the page, his golden tinged hair darker and shoulder length, and silver piercings shone from his ear, eyebrow, nostril, and lip. When Suki had known him he’d been piercing free.

“Oh my god! Why the hell did you stop looking like this for college? You know, I might’ve actually spoken to you if you’d looked like this.”

“Eh. I wanted to be taken more seriously. Why?”

“Don’t make me say it you dick.”

He nudged closer, smug all over his face. “What?”

“Because it looks good on you.”

“So I don’t look good like this?” He motioned down his body, which might’ve been sexy if he was in better shape. Well, as in his cold. His physique was perfect…

Suki gave him an affectionately knowing smile, “of course you do. I like the way you look very much,” she nodded. Then when Bryce’s face lit up she added: “but you’re not going to catch me saying that again anytime soon, okay? Your ego is big enough.”

Bryce moved to get up from the bed, “look, I’m just going to the piercing shop I won’t be long-“

Suki pulled him back down to the bed with a laugh, “Bryce! Although I wouldn’t oppose I’m not sure you’d be allowed in surgeries looking like metal face.”

“It would make things interesting though…”

“What?”

“A lip ring. Maybe a tongue ring. Imagine the kissing, or me going down on you…”

“Bryce.”

“What! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t consider it.”

“You are not getting any action while you’re sick.”

He leaned closer to her in the bed, “I got you to kiss me.”

She sighed and pulled the back of her hand up to check his temperature. Before she got there however, he took it from her.

“What’s this?” He brushed a finger lightly across her fingers, by the edge of the bandaging.

Ah, crap. This guy really does make me lose my mind. I’d forget my name if I spent too long around him.

“Work casualty,” she tried to laugh nonchalantly and pull her hand back to his forehead to seem normal. But he brought it back down to inspect it. His brow furrowed as he tried to decide what was under the gauze, and then he used one of his hands to grab Suki’s other one. He turned this one so that the palm was facing up and the scars from the month before were visible; standing paler than her skin tone right in the centre.

He held each hand in his own like they were feathers, opposite directions up.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, moving his thumb as if about to graze over the scars, asking permission.

“No, go ahead.”

He followed the neat shape of the puckered skin with the pad of his thumb, as gentle as he had been when he’d stitched it. Suki’s hand felt cold under his touch, the sensation on her scar able to feel each fingerprint dragging over.

He dropped her scarred hand somewhat to the mattress, but still held it in his own, shifting their hands slightly so that it was more of a classic hand-hold.

Suki tried not to focus on the bolt of electricity coursing from that spot. She’d wanted to hold his hand for so long, and here he was holding it like it was no big deal. His thumb ran up and down her skin in a soothing motion.

He turned his attention to the other, biting his lip as he looked.

“Whatever caused this, it’s gonna have to answer some questions.”

“It was just, uh, slammed it in the double doors. Those are heavy,” she cleared her throat, hating every fibre of herself for lying.

“Stupid door.” He brought his face down to the bandaged hand and placed a featherlight kiss to the top of her knuckles, “I’m a surgeon, I have magic kisses.”

“Oh dear,” she laughed, a little breathless and trying to seem light and uncaring, “did you take some medicine this morning? I think it’s kicking in.”

He chuckled, almost back to his usual Bryce chuckle, “but,” he cleared his throat, clearly gearing up to make a cheeky comment by the smirk on his face, “if I had a tongue piercing, my kisses really would be magic.”

“Oh my god,” Suki couldn’t help but laugh at him.

As they laughed together on Bryce’s bed, hands tangled together and bodies close, Suki truly felt happy. Like things really could work out for her. For them. And Suki was having an amazing time just being with Bryce.

The only problem was the albatross hanging around her neck.

—-

The next thing Suki knew, she was waking up in Bryce’s bed. He was sat beside her, scrolling through his phone.

She blinked her eyes a few times to make sure she was seeing things right, and moved to sit up.

“I… fell asleep?” She asked groggily, causing Bryce to turn to face her. He smiled when he saw her.

“Yeah. I figured I should just let you, you seemed pretty tired.”

She realised she must’ve fallen asleep when Bryce had been searching for some Stanford pictures, because that was the last thing she remembered.

She sighed, “you should’ve woken me.”

“Nah, you were working all night.”

And getting into it with your colleagues…

She sighed again and bit her lip, figuratively and physically.

“You really should’ve woken me,” she whispered, unable to handle Bryce treating her like this knowing she’d stuck her nose where it didn’t belong.

He smiled back at her, she could see in his face that he knew something was up.

“You’re fine. It’s what friends do.”

“Bryce.” She felt like she was sighing his name a lot these days, and not in the way either of them liked the most.

He twisted his face up into a grin and Suki noticed his eyes were much brighter now, “Suki.”

She rolled her eyes, but she was terrible at hiding her guilt. She had to get out of there, because if Bryce was the one trying to alleviate it she’d feel even worse. She started to shift in the bed, but Bryce reached an arm out over her waist.

She just sort of lay there shocked as he shifted over closer to her, putting his torso over hers.

“At least let me try and kiss away some of those frown lines. If I remember correctly, it’s one of our benefits,” he smirked, hell-bent on making her feel better and in turn making her feel even worse. She couldn’t kiss him and feel like it was okay, because even that, even what was happening at that moment, felt like overstepping and taking it too far and Suki knew that it was on her. She was the one who caught feelings, who started blurring the lines and the rules and taking liberties where possible. She was the one unable to tell Bryce the truth. About her feelings or about her meddling.

But she also knew they were on borrowed time, and this might be the last chance she had to kiss him.

So she put as much as she could into it as she pulled his face to hers, hands on his cheeks and feeling the soft skin with a little bit of stubble beginning to come through, committing it to memory. Her lips pressed to his slowly but definitely, making sure each inch of herself was tied to him. With the kiss her head was filled with every other kiss they’d shared: at college, in the supply closet, at the housewarming party, and the many since. He wasn’t trying to force more like he had earlier, he seemed to be savouring it as much as she was, his lips sweet and slightly chapped but so familiar and Suki felt at home.

Kissing him was that to her.

She felt her face scrunch up as she kissed him, praying to god this wasn’t the last time. His familiar citrus scent washed over her and she never wanted to stop kissing him.

Reluctantly, but knowing she had to, Suki pulled her mouth from Bryce’s. Her eyes were glued shut and her forehead lulled against his, feeling his hair tickle her skin and his hot breaths wash over her face.

“Woah…” he exhaled, speechless to say much more.

Bryce’s kindness and the fact that she liked him so ridiculously much just meant that Suki’s guilt kept growing and growing. She just knew this couldn’t last.

—-

A couple of days passed by and Suki had been bogged down with work again, and hadn’t been able to see Bryce since that day. He’d texted a couple of times and seemed to be on rising spirits, so she was pleased about that.

It was just, every time she thought about Bryce, she couldn’t help but think about what she’d done.

Or about how the clock was ticking down until he found out.

And it was.

Bryce was back to work that day, he’d told her, and she was filled with anxiety the entire time.

Suki was on her way home later that day, just about to enter her apartment building when a voice stopped her in her tracks.

“We need to talk.” It was dark and low and every part of her went cold. She turned to face him, that face of her dreams stern and distant and everything she never wanted to see.

“Okay. There’s people home. We can go to the river.”

Bryce just nodded and started in the other direction.

Suki nervously followed behind him, afraid to catch up for she didn’t know what to say. Building in her chest were nerves and dread and like a hairline crack in her heart which she knew would expand soon enough.

She thought about the last time she saw him, the kiss they shared. How happy they’d been.

They came to the river as the sun was just setting, sparkling over the water like constellations. Bryce’s soft caramel skin was golden in the sunlight, the light reflecting in his eyes and Suki’s heart was put through a wringer just looking at him. Was this it? The last time she’d ever get to see him like this?

Suki searched her brain for ways to start, how to apologise, but Bryce beat her to it.

“Why, Suki?” It wasn’t anger, it was at a loss.

“Why what?” Bad move, Suki. He knows. There’s no point still lying to him.

“Why did you meddle in my business?”

“Because they had no right to do what they did.”

“You’ve made it worse! Now they’re never going to leave me alone! I don’t care about being liked I care about doing my fucking job! It was fine—it was over!” Bryce’s voice was now angry. Suki wasn’t sure which hurt worse. Or maybe they exacerbated each-other, like a hammer and a nail. The nail was the disappointment, and the anger just kept bruising it further into her chest.

“I- are you really pissed at me for standing up for you?” If she just let him know her intentions, maybe she could fix this.

“I’m pissed at you for going and stirring shit up! You crossed a line!”

“It wasn’t just me, Jackie was there too and I don’t see you yelling at her.”

“Well I’m not sleeping with Jackie!”

“What?” She spat.

“You-” his face scrunched up and she felt her heart scrunch with it, “you kissed me. Twice! Knowing you’d gone behind my back and disrupted things.”

“What did you mean you’re ‘not sleeping with Jackie’? Why does that mean we’re held to different standards?” She asked, her voice raised, ignoring his words because the truth hurt too much to say.

“And you didn’t tell me! You spent the entire day with me where you could’ve mentioned it and you didn’t even bother! I thought we were-” He ignored her too, but his voice halted like he couldn’t say what came next.

She couldn’t tell if his voice was breaking from the cold or the anger – but it was heartbreaking.

“No, I didn’t, because I had no clue how you’d react. And look! You’re so… mad,” as she said the last words her voice shook and it came out like a whisper. In fact, her hands started shaking too. Her eyes were beginning to blur from stinging tears welling at the bottom. She’d upset him – the last thing she ever wanted to do.

“You’re damn right I’m mad!” He yelled, and Suki flinched at the noise. “Your hand – you told me you shut it in a fucking car door! I saw his face Suki. You seriously hit him? For some stupid petty rumours?”

“Yes, I hit him,” she could really feel the tears coming as she spoke firm and loud, “he could’ve fucked everything up for you.” And it was cloying with her words, when it came to Bryce, it seemed the anger couldn’t come without pain, too.

“He’s not the only one who fucked things up for me. I mean, you violated my trust,” he shook his head, his hair blowing in the light breeze, “I trusted you,” he said this quieter, and Suki got the impression he wouldn’t have been able to yell it. It was hurt.

“And I ruined that.” I ruined everything. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’ve never cared for someone like this.

“Yeah. You went behind my back on something I told you in confidence, and then lied to me about it. I feel so fucking—” he shook his head, at a loss for words. But he looked embarrassed.

“That wasn’t—I—just wanted to them to know how bad they fucked up! I was so mad that they did that to you.”

“It was months ago! It’s over, old news! And it was my problem to solve.”

“Well you matter to me! Okay?” It came out like a sneeze she couldn’t hold back and her heart was beating more rapidly as soon as she said it. Shit.

Bryce’s expression then was completely unreadable. Suki had no idea what was going on in his head. He just looked at her like that for a few moments, her statement hanging in the air like cigarette smoke. And then Bryce finally came out with something.

“We’re sleeping together Suki – what did you think you were doing?”

And her head was running like a machine; all cogs and whirring and sparks and clanging. The emphasis he’d put on that one word, and she knew where this was headed. Every bad dream, every nauseous predictive thought she’d had lately was laid out in front of her and coming true.

She didn’t want to ask her next question. But she had to. She had to. She knew it wouldn’t come out with any semblance of strength, but at this point, it didn’t really matter.

“So I am just a body to you?” she whispered it with a heaviness which hung in the air. They both knew this moment was going to change everything. There was no going back from here.

Bryce stared at her steely-eyed and jaw clenched so hard it looked like it might pop. She wasn’t prepared for his next word. She never would be.

“Yes.”

#open heart #open heart fic #bryce lahela #bryce lahela fanfiction #choices: open heart #open heart mc #playchoices open heart #bryce lahela x mc #oph bryce #bryce lahela fic #dr bryce lahela #bryce #open heart bryce #bryce x mc #oh bryce #choices open heart #open heart fanfiction #open heart fanfic #choices stories we play

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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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Hellsing Liveblog Chapters 25-27

This is the first leg of the “D” arc. I had originally planned on trying to do the whole thing in one post, but it’s pretty long and meanders in places, so instead I’m going to break it up, starting with the part that wraps up volume 4 of the collected editions.

Much of these first three chapters just showcases Millennium preparing to depart their secret headquarters in Brazil. They have three blimps, maybe more. We already saw the Graf Zeppelin III, but there’s also a Graf Zeppelin II and a Hindenberg II. Also, the Major refers to all of this as “Operation Sea Lion 2″. The original “Operation Sea Lion” was Nazi Germany’s plan to invade the U.K. during World War II. It was never enacted, however, because the Germans couldn’t establish air and naval superiority over the British. Basically, the Major is declaring that he has finally achieved what Hilter could not, thanks to his “Last Battalion” of 1000 vampire soldiers.

The bridge of his flagship (flagblimp) has this big comfy chair on a robot arm, and a panoramic world map. The arrows on the map point in all sorts of nutty directions, including the United States and other European nations. I could have sworn I had heard some mention in Hellsing Ultimate of Millennium sending forces to the U.S., but the international angle was never mentioned again, and I assumed that I must have imagined it. In any event, the Major made it clear that his target is Alucard specifically, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense to invade places where Alucard is not.

The Major prepares to take his seat only to find Warrant Officer Schrödinger sitting in his chair. Remember, Schrödinger inexplicably teleported himself to London to address Hellsing and Iscariot, and then he got shot and killed for his trouble. But now he’s back, alive and well. He mocks the Major for being to slow, and the Doctor scolds him for his insolence, but the Major orders Doc to back off. This is a running gag throughout the rest of the series. The Doctor keeps trying to chastise Schrödinger, but the Major lets him do whatever the boy wants, almost like he’s some favorite pet.

Meanwhile, an unidentified helicopter tries to land on a British carrier, the H.M.S. Eagle. The Captain orders his crew to open fire, but the first officer suddenly does this:

So yeah, the first officer is a vampire now, and he’s sold out Queen and Country for Millennium. He and a handful of vampire crewmen kill the rest of the crew and turn them all into ghouls, allowing the helicopter to land, making way for...

This lady, Lieutenant Rip Van Winkle. I should point out that in the pages leading up to her boarding the Eagle, she was singing Engelandlied, a German war anthem from World War I. She’s nutty, is the idea.

So, I’m gonna go ahead and put forth my fan theory that all the bad guys we dealt with prior to Rip were just patsies for Millennium, and not actual members in their own right. This includes Tubalcain “Dandyman” Alahambra, because, for all his powers, no one ever said his rank, leading me to think he didn’t have one. Same with the Valentine Brothers and any of the vampires Alucard and Seras were sent to fight during the first dozen or so chapters of this manga. Millennium may have turned them into vampires, and in some cases they even let them in on Millennium’s inner workings, but they were never more than cannon fodder. Jan seemed to understand this, although Luke and Dandyman seemed to believe they were genuinely created to represent the new pinnacle of vampiric power. Even the Doctor thought Dandyman had a strong chance of beating Alucard, but in the end they were just experiments meant to test Alucard’s mettle.

And, really, the rest of Millennium is not much different, except Rip and the others actually know why they’re being sacrificed, even if they don’t necessarily understand how or when.

Meanwhile, Seras still won’t drink blood, and she keeps trying to eat regular food instead, even though she struggles to swallow every bite. I’ve never been very clear on whether vampires in Hellsing can eat non-blood food or not. Seras is doing it, albeit painfully, but I don’t think she really gains anything from it, except whatever coping mechanism this is supposed to serve.

So in walks Sir Integra, who dumps a bag of medical blood on her table. Seras never really answers Integra’s question, but she already told Walter, and it’s not much of an answer. The heart of the matter is this: Seras really doesn’t want to be a vampire. Or, maybe, more accurately, she doesn’t want to stop being human. The trouble is that she already lost that battle way back in Chapter 1.

In many ways, Seras has accepted her fate. She works for Hellsing, recognizes Alucard as her vampire master, and so on. I think she understands that this is the only life she can have now, and her will to live is strong enough that she appreciates what Alucard and Integra have done for her. At her core, Seras is a public servant, and fighting monsters for Hellsing is not so different from fighting crime as a policewoman. I think she sees her current condition as a means to that end. She doesn’t crave power like the evil vampires we’ve seen thus far. Seras views her abilities as a means to an end. Alucard biting her gave her a way to stay alive and continue fighting the good fight.

However, she doesn’t want the baggage that goes along with that. She wants to retain as much of her humanity as she can, and drinking blood is the one thing that she has some control over, or so she believes.

But Integra’s far too practical for that dilemma. Alucard was willing to respect Seras’ relucatance, but she needs her troops on their toes and ready for action. So she takes a knife and cuts open her finger, and then orders Seras to lick the blood off. This is... disturbingly sexual, and one of a number of scenes that reminds me that Hirano Kouta had done a lot of, er, adult comics before Hellsing. I think he did a lot of uniform fetishy stuff too, which is why Seras and Schrödinger’s uniforms look so similar to each other. Both are meant to resemble German WWII gear. I’m willing to grant some leeway here, because there’s probably only so many ways to do a finger-licking scene like this without sexualizing it a little, but the last bit with the saliva trail is just revolting.

So, what’s bugged me for a long time was that if Seras drank (a little) of Integra’s blood here, why did this subplot not get paid off until much later in the story? She drank blood, didn’t she? Well, yeah, but Integra ordered her to do it, so it doesn’t count. This came up a couple of times earlier in the story, when Walter and Al mentioned that she wouldn’t drink blood willingly. It’s not just an ethical issue for Seras, or she’d simply chow down on the medical blood. I guess Integra could force feed her every night, but that wouldn’t solve anything. This is about Seras accepting her transformation as a fait accompli. I think this is why she very nearly drank Alucard’s blood back in Northern Ireland, when it sure looked like there was no other way for her to survive. But if she’s just sitting there with no one making her do it, and no urgent need to do it, she’ll refuse every time.

I think Hellsing uses the premise that a vampire has to do more than just bite a human to turn them into a vampire. That is, Alucard had to put his own blood in Seras’ body to complete that transformation. I think that’s how it worked in the Dracula novel, and Seras herself mentions it in the Gonzoverse anime. But that wouldn’t count either, because it’s part of the change itself. The idea is for the new vampire to partake in blood-drinking by choice, and until that happens, they won’t get all the cool powers.

One other thing, Integra takes this opportunity to mention that she’s a virgin, which is a weird flex for this situation, but okay. In Hellsing, that means Integra could become a vampire herself, but not if Seras bites her, because it has to be a vampire of the opposite sex. In any case, Tegs warns Seras not to bite down during this creepy finger-licking KFC-hentai thing.

Back in the damn ocean, Lt. Rip van Winkle is welcomed aboard by the traitorous crew of the Eagle. She asks them how it feels to be a vampire, and causally reminds them of their treachery. Then she gives them new orders, which are to die by her magic gun, which fires a bullet that can turn around in midair.

And so the First Officer and his lackeys learn the same lesson as the Brazillians working for the Dandyman, and the Dandyman himself, and the Valentine Brothers and whoever else. Millennium might turn you into a vampire, but that hardly means that you’ll live forever. Millennium always demands treason as payment for their help, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they might betray you sooner or later.

Besides, Rip doesn’t need the British crew, because she has her own henchman on board her chopper. While she waits for them to wake up, she paints a swastika on the deck, just to make it clear that they’ve taken control of the Eagle, which she renames the Adler. That’s German for “Eagle”, you see.

Back on his blimp, the Major cuts this twenty-minute promo which basically amounts to “I love war, we have no particular agenda except to wage endless war for the fun of it.” Back in England, Alucard is eagerly awaiting their arrival.

#2021hellsingliveblog #hellsing #alucard #seras victoria #sir integra hellsing #the major #lt rip van winkle #the doctor #warrant officer shrodinger #enrico maxwell #... is not actually in this story #they just put him on the title page for some reason

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lizacstuff · 4 years ago

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Hi! What did you think of ep23?I love your in depth thoughts on the episodes. I really enjoyed it, especially the EdSer moments (was smiling like an idiot during the skating scene - when Eda complained about it being hot (girl same), and also that she understood what he said in French omg). I hope the grandmother doesn't turn out to be as evil as everyone is assuming. I guess the one big con was Ayfer. She's gotten more annoying right? That's not just me? But I love me some Aydan!

Hello! Thank you for the kind words. Let's see, I did like the episode, but as I said in another ask I was a bit on edge while watching for a couple of reasons, but they're all Edser related so I'll talk about that when I talk about them at the end. As far as Ayfer is concerned, I FEEL YOU.

Good grief, woman. Why does she have to be such a harpy? It feels like she complains about absolutely everything. Plus, she's forcing a situation where her beloved niece can't trust or confide in her, and all the girls have to hide Eda's work schedule from her. Look, if Ayfer doesn't want to spend time with Aydan, fine, but her anger towards and disapproval of Eda's job and her relationship with Serkan are completely selfish. She may tell herself she's disapproving for Eda's own good, but come on.

Because, seriously, what does Ayfer think she's protecting Eda from? Serkan is handsome, rich, successful and head over heels in love with Eda. Let's be honest, Eda could do worse. He might be a tad arrogant and controlling, but he's a very good man with a very good heart. Also he tries with Ayfer. I get the connection with Alptekin is upsetting, but Serkan and Aydan have cut him completely out of their lives and neither had anything to do with what happened. I also get that Ayfer was put off by the whole contract thing, but it took two to tango there, and Eda's entire world opened up because of that arrangement.

Maybe that's the problem?

(more under the cut)

Maybe Ayfer can feel Eda expanding and growing and her world getting much bigger than Ayfer's and it scares her? She thinks she'll lose her, or won't recognize her? Privately, Serkan and Eda have talked about running away together, maybe Ayfer senses that's a possibility? (PRO TIP: Then don't be a negative force they have to get away from!)

Also what's happening with this Chef Alexander thing? Is he actually going to make an appearance? Is there going to be a romance? I think that would be good, maybe that will salvage Ayfer's character and she'll get distracted and maybe even happy. I did laugh, though, at her her calling Aydan and Seyfi out on their lie about having him on board with their charity scheme. They should know better than to try that. Amateur move, kids! But I will always applaud their matchmaking efforts when it comes to Eda and Serkan.

I enjoyed the girls this episode. I like that they don't share Ayfer's concerns about Serkan and are ready to go to the mat for whatever Eda wants. Poor Melo is the worst detective, but she gets points for trying. Also points for picking up what Eda was putting down and skillfully sweeping Balca and her broken heel out of the way. I'd want Fifi for protection as well, girl is badass. I can't tell what this Fifi/Erdem thing is supposed to be. Does she have a soft spot for him, she must because I don't know why she would give him the time of day otherwise. She's not one we have to worry about not being able to say no. If she wanted to rid herself of his presence, she'd do it. Ceren and Ferit are just kind of... there. I don't dislike it, but I also don't really care. They need something to spice that up.

Which is what we finally got with Engin and Piril! Holy moly, who is her dad!?! Mafia boss? Politician? Wealthy recluse? @alicekepley suggested on another post that maybe it's Aydan's first love. Now that would be interesting. Maybe he turned to a life of crime after being disappointed by Aydan? I am now looking forward to see how this plays out and how it affects them. However, there's one thing that gets me almost every episode. I love Engin and Anil, but he looks at least a decade older than Serkan, Piril, and Selin. So much so that I don't buy they could have gone to school together. This is where I'll have to call on my well honed suspension of disbelief I guess... I'll tell myself he spent a lot of time in the sun and is graying a bit prematurely.

I did like Engin and Serkan sitting around commiserating about their relationships and hoping things were about to turn around. That's the more equal buddy talk I want to know happens.

Speaking of Serkan, duuuuuuuuude. You're being hunted, wise up! I'm really stuck on what he said to Sirius after Eda left his house at the top of the episode. "Don't look at me like that, everything is under control, I know perfectly well what I'm doing, this is my tactic." We know from last episode he thought Eda would show, and this episode while talking to Eda he told her that he was expecting her and the candles were for her. So... did he purposely allow Balca in to provoke Eda's jealousy? If so, I'm not sure this is his best course of action. It's certainly not with regards to fanning Balca's dangerous pretensions, but I'm not sure he's getting his best result with Eda either. It's true that it gave him an excuse to flirt, make the bet, tease her, bask in her obvious jealousy even if she won't admit it, and get a Parisian date out of it. I suppose that's not a bad day's work. On the other hand, if he'd sent Balca on her way, he would have had a happy Eda, in his house, sitting on the couch next to him, watching a movie with him, which also could have led to a very good place for him.

It's also a mystery to me if Serkan is really clueless about Balca's intentions, or if he's playing dumb to suit his own purposes with Eda. I'm thinking it's the middle. He probably sees it but thinks it's a whole lot more harmless than it is. Like maybe he gets Balca has a crush on him, but he has no suspicion that he's in dangerous fatal attraction territory. Which is where we are. I don't want to fling words like 'crazy' around, but... bitch be crazy! If she is capable of trying to large-scale sabotage his company in her pursuit of him, that's some seriously scary stuff. WAKE UP, SERKAN.

I said I was uneasy while watching this episode and part of it was concern over what would happen with the tender, and worrying if Balca's sabotage was going to work, leaving Eda to blame. If that had gone the other way, the fallout would have been painful. Also storylines where a fav is falsely accused always make me antsy. I was able to handle the Serkan roof collapse one because it was at the end of the episode, and they were able to figure out that he wasn't responsible right off the top of the next. But this one had me on edge all ep. I was especially nervous after Eda made the independent report on her recommended firm part of a trust test. Sweetie, I love you, but NOOOOO. That was not the move of a professional. Serkan, as the company principle, wanting to vet a partner or vendor is completely normal and has nothing to do with how much he trusts her. Put aside the fact that she's only been in the workforce for a few months, you always want a second set of eyes on something that important. Always. She showed some of her immaturity there, which is fine, she's young and inexperienced, but it's a sign of how desperate Serkan is for her to forgive him that he humored her. That man will do anything for her, even if it doesn't make sense or is potentially damaging. I get why the writer's did it, for the suspense of Eda being out on that limb all on her own, but it was also actually a bit of a missed opportunity for him to mentor her there. (And I love when she learns from him.)

The other reason I was uneasy watching this ep was due to some frustration with Eda. See above on the trust test, but it was also a little hard to watch her just completely succumb to Serkan's charm and be in the moment with him one moment, and then the next second shake it off and be adamant that she was going to be leaving the job and him shortly. It felt like constant whiplash. Also if she won the bet she wanted him to leave her alone? Sure, Jan. She could have asked for something really good! We all know she doesn’t really want him to leave her alone, so that pretense has gotten harder and harder to take. However, the times she rebuffed him didn't bother me as much as when she told Melo she was leaving the job. I can chalk up the ones to Serkan as part of her act, trying to protect herself and poke holes in his pretensions, but when she said it to Melo it felt more real. Like that was really what she was still planning to do, and it's really hard to reconcile that with all the moments where she puts down her guard and it's obvious she's madly in love with him.

On a positive note, scenes where it’s clear they’re madly in love with each other were plentiful this episode. The romantic robot used every opportunity he could find to make her melt. My GAWD she has a will of iron that she was able to back away from him after he recited all the ways he could tell if a woman (her) was in love with him. He is one smooth bastard. And boy does he know her, he knows exactly what he does to her. That scene was FIRE. Not to be crass, but how did they not do it right then and there? After the last few eps, they have to be at a 100 on a scale of 1-10 when it comes to pent up sexual energy. Hey Eda, maybe you wouldn't be so jealous if you knew he had an outlet for that. I'm just sayin'.

The lunch was pretty funny and I definitely enjoyed the kicking and the under the table conversation. After refusing to admit she was jealous, Eda totally deserved that Serkan said that whatever Balca's feelings for him were, they were between him and Balca. Eeesh. I see what he's doing, he's trying to bring her feelings out into the open, and she deserves it, but I don't think he realizes how vulnerable she is over everything. He's walking a tightrope here. However, I do appreciate that he finally just admitted that he's jealous. If he'd just done that in 18, he would have saved himself some angst. Are we to infer from Serkan asking Eda not to use emojis with Efe, that Edser likes to use emojis when they text? Or was that just a generic, "don't be cute with him?" I think I'll take that Serkan and Eda use emojis, just because it tickles me to think of Serkan Bolat doing that. All of shipper twitter thinks that's the writers poking at the actors because of how much they use them with one another on social. Who knows, maybe that explains it, since it sort of came out of the blue. You gotta love, though, that every manipulative thing Balca did either failed or backfired spectacularly. Showing up at his place, sure she succeeded in upsetting Eda and derailing their night, but it also put Eda on her guard and brought about the flirty wager between Eda and Serkan. She left the earring, but Eda found it before she could use it as an excuse to return. She broke her heel, but that just gave her a ruined pair of shoes and Melo an excuse to get her out of there so Serkan and Eda could be alone. She and her devious friend succeeded in throwing Melo and Eda off the scent, however all that meant was that Serkan won the bet and gave him the pretense needed to get her to agree to the most romantic date on the planet. She sabotaged the report, but Eda still found out about the company's background and Eda was the hero when ArtLife won the tender. Balca: 0 percent success rate so far.

THE ICE SKATING SCENES WERE PURE MAGIC! It was fun to see the whole cast out there having a blast, but obviously it was the Edser scene at night that lit up the whole show. Damn was that pretty. (it's currently my ipad lock screen and home screen) The chemistry between the actors was on display all episode, but here it just exploded. When Eda said she was hot, no kidding! How could you not be? And I agree that Serkan speaking French to her was OMG. Love, love, love the date that Serkan planned for them in Paris. I'm bereft that we'll likely never see it. Damn you pandemic, look what you've taken from us! The characters, and the audience, deserve an entire episode of Paris romantic fluff. We've all earned this!

The date sounded perfect and I found it very interesting that he had purposely never been to Montmartre. So at some point he promised himself he'd only go there with a woman he was truly in love with, makes me wonder if it was a much younger Serkan who made that promise. The Serkan we met in the pilot didn't believe in love, he was hard-hearted, he actually talked with Engin about how a contract, a bloodless business transaction, was the way to go for relationships. Robot Bolat. So I don't think he made that idealistic promise any time recently. If so, that means he's had that in the back of his mind for years, but Eda's the only woman he's ever considered taking. My heart. I love how the show keeps showing us and telling us that this is the first time Serkan has ever been in love. You could see in that scene that Eda was right there with him. She was so happy and in the moment and swept away by the romance. She was as excited for Paris as he was. I know we all wanted a kiss/declaration here, it would have been a very good moment for it. A very good one. But the show has other plans for them, so we wait.

So, yeah, I really liked the Edser we got, but Eda’s hot and cold act was hard to reconcile at times. However, perhaps it all came together in the end, when she's talking to Melo and Ceren about Paris. She was feeling troubled over it, probably what agreeing to go with him meant, but they both told her to listen to her heart in Paris and it seems like she was going to do it: "From now on I'll stop worrying. I'm opening a new page in life." So I think in that moment she was ready for next steps and was planning to be open with him in Paris, let's hope it carries over to the next episode even without Paris.

Actually, that whole conversation was a bit of a window into her psyche and was more illuminating than almost anything in the episode in that regard. When Eda says she’s worried, Melo teases her that she's nervous to be alone with Serkan Bolat, and then jokes that all young women would like to have that problem, including herself. Eda does NOT like that joke and actually verbalizes it, "Melo, at least you don't do that." That was a huge spotlight into Eda's insecurities, like she is really discombobulated by witnessing women showing interest in him while they're in such a nebulous place. Since she is coming off of what happened with Selin, and was already feeling jealous when the first candidate set her off with (her creepy) talk of chemistry last episode, then finding Balca at Serkan's house in the opening scene, I suppose it's no surprise that all of that has had some residual effects. But that it's to the point where she can't take a joke from Melo is telling. Poor thing.

My hope is that this is just something she's working through while she's feeling off-kilter about everything. It would be one thing if they were together, but she's in this headspace where half the time she says she's leaving and it's over between them and half the time she acting like his wife, so I think she's just discombobulated. Maybe she just wants time to figure things out, but feels like she doesn’t have it, because someone is going to swoop in and take her place and that’s feeding her jealousy? The fact that Serkan can’t see it (Selin and Balca) until it’s out of control doesn’t help.

It's natural for her to be upset that this woman has entered the scene and is clearly trying to maneuver herself into Eda's place in Serkan's life. However, there is an easy fix to this. Just go be with him. Come on, Eda, we know you can do it! You're ready. You’re primed. Bring on the New Year's Ep!

#Sen Çal Kapımı #sen cal kapimi #edser #sck ask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #sck 1x23 #edser meta #asklizac #Anonymous #sckask

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