#but now I’m finally going to sleep
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Nico wanting some tongue action with Kevin
#electric callboy#nico sallach#kevin ratajczak#kevnico#ecgifs#kevnicogifs#mine#join me 👅💦💦💦#there’s so many more gifsets from where this came from#but now I’m finally going to sleep
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my last 24 hours
#Khml#I kinda cried myself to sleep last night#but now KH yay!!#this is exactly what happened with dark road too actually#I had a terrible day the day before the finale came out#I’m going to have to watch my back the day before ML actually releases haha
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In a sudden turn of events I am going to be okay!!!
#I’ve officially dropped AP art#You know what that means? :D#I get to sleep!#And hang out with my friends!#And go for runs!#And spend more time studying Physics and Chem!#I am quite literally bawling my eyes out right now#I have not slept or eaten in like#two months#My emotions are going wild right now#Huge sense of grief or maybe loss but also#Just… so much relief#I finally get to take care of myself#And do the things I enjoy#And focus on the important things#My life has been RAPIDLY spiralling downwards since school started#But now it’s going to get a lot better#And I’ll be happy again#I’m going to be okay chat#I’m gonna be okay
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At Journey’s end what can you do but start another!
#octopath#Octopath traveler#octopath traveler 2#Temenos#Ort#in other words this is my celebratory post of finishing this game finally#AND my hyperfixation on this going to sleep#I’m done!!!! I’m moving on!!!! farewell Octopath I’ve dedicated half a year of my life to you@#I mean I’ll still like#scribble once a blue moon but im no longer going to post about it often and stuff#NOW I CAN PLAY FF WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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I DID IT! I DID A MEME!
My gods, my hand hurts… Anyways here’s the list
Current Favorite = Uzi and N from Murder Drones
Comfort Character = Dante from Devil May Cry
By Design = Beerus From Dragon Ball Z
By Plot = Aerith Gainsborough from Final Fantasy 7
Guilty Favorite = Shadow the Hedgehog from Sonic
All Time Favorite = Toothless from HTTYD
Original meme under the cut
#my art#artist on tumblr#digital art#art meme#draw a character you like#murder drones#devil may cry#dragon ball z#final fantasy 7#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#how to train your dragon#doo I dare tag everyone here….#uzi doorman#serial designation n#dante devil may cry#beerus#aerith gainsborough#httyd toothless#I’m going to sleep for 100 years now good bye✌🏾 …..
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I asked you, but I wish you'd share with the class xD Besides maybe you got new ideas.
What reaction would Eric have if there was someone out of jealousy accusing him of being too close to Jacob? Does Eric think himself he even deserves such accusations, since him and Jacob are not really in any relationship?
And I got curious, does Eric as a painter have some fans of his own among cultists maybe?
Mmmmhh that’s interesting questions. (First of all I’m so so so so sorry pookie for literally taking ages to answer to this because i literally don’t even remember when you asked this but I’m still so grateful 💀)
Ok so, because of Eric’s sort of "relationship" with Jacob is mostly hidden, both try to hide it for different reasons but after a long time others clearly saw that there was possibly something, if someone started to accuse Eric, he would deny it because he doesn’t want it to be known but most importantly, he doesn’t want to hide it for him but for Jacob. Because he cares more for Jacob than himself so it goes with his image too. He refuse to be the cause for Jacob strong image being put down so he would do anything to deny it. Again and again even if some signs are obvious that he’s being treated better from the Soldier because of their bond (at a point, all chosen are aware that the deer pass some nights in Jacob’s room).
He would obviously feel bad but If he sees the accusations are made with jealousy he would feel even worse with the situation. He would try to hide the situation because he doesn't want to be the fruit of discord inside the family. He surely doesn't want to be an obstacle to anyone, after all he always feel like he is lower from everyone around. In fact he wouldn't understand why even those accusations exist because for him, he knows there is nothing but for people around, it's true it's a very a strange case
They sure have a very particular and sometimes questionable bond that make them trust each other but no matter how strong their bond is, it’s not and it will never be love simply for 2 things. One, Eric’s love towards Jacob grew because of the obsession for his muse and secondary, Jacob doesn’t love Eric. He cares for him even if he very rarely show it directly but doesn’t he love him because he could be ashamed of the whole thing or his feelings towards another man or a weakling ? Who knows how work his mind. Sure they call themselves partners all the time and it has so many meanings that it sure that everyone around already tried to understand the meaning of it but does they even knew precisely or just called each other with something so general that it prevented to use real words?
Also how could he react? If it's in his first years when he was more shy and all, he'll sure try to avoid confrontation with the person who accused him to be in her way, trying to avoid the subject as possible or even avoid her and Jacob for a while to maybe pass the message that he isn't an obstacle but if it's more recent when he becomes more ruthless or more the way Jacob wants him to be, he would probably try to adjust some points with the help of fear or being cocky, using his place or something to make it somehow clear (even more if the person tried to harm him)
Oh ? You want to harm me ? I’m not really sure Father would accept this…. Or even Jacob… you don’t want to disappoint them right ? What ? Scared to loose your tail, little fox ?
But will still makes things clear afterwards in a more diplomatic way when no one is around
oh and by the way, for earlier… before you got another idea… we’re not… a thing, me and… he’s free so... Try your chance, you’ll always have more luck than me after all…
After all he knows he’ll never be the one but he’ll never try to prevent it. If he see that Jacob and someone else are getting closer, he’ll try to do his best to help, Jacob is his priority, no matter what, no matter with who
E: He need someone like me or y’know, better
M: …I'm not following you
He need someone that care for him more than he do, someone that care fo him like i do. Someone that could bear with his mood swings, his issues. Someone that would be willing to climb the walls he built just like i did but better! He doesn’t need a poor weak like me, he need someone strong, someone from his world. He need someone that could help him when he feels low, when his mind play tricks, someone that could cheer him up, someone that could be his anchor to really. A caretaker, not someone that can’t barely stay alive by himself. He needs someone that... someone that isn't me
..so you want to find someone for the man you truly love ? Just like that?
I know she is the right okay? I saw her and how she truly cares for him. And what do you want ? We follow the Father’s words and just like he said, my love is a poison. To love but not to be loved. He’s perfect…
So you’ll just watch them from afar? Like a shadow and doing nothing?!
Come on Mark, y’know I’m always in the shadow of the Seeds. It’s my little place
Yeah of course he would feel jealous but he knows what’s good for Jacob
Am i mad? Yeah of course… You came here and ruined everything i tried to build for years. But l'm also not mad because i knew it was never for me. I'm not dumb to live in fairy tales. You’re a good one. I’m mad at you… but i also put all my trust in you to be the best partner in life.
Also i love Dina, she is amazing and the more i think about her and Jacob, the more it helped me to really show the purpose of Eric in all this. It was never to be the one loved but to give love to the man till The right person came to take his place.
For the second question idk if i can really answer it after aaaal that but anyway
I always liked to think that yes, Eric has some fans among the cultists. In fact it could be for some reasons. Obviously it’s because he’s a talented one so people usually like him and his portraits or landscapes but i also think it could be thanks to how Joseph show him. Eric is the Artist, the painter of the Father. I think we could classify him as one of the VIPs or seconds maybe? But anyway. Joseph since the beginning always showed him as his talented child like almost a gift from God (just like he did for the 2 previous artists) because it was kinda rare to find someone this talented and most of all, willing to help him share his visions. I like to think that the very first artist was maybe the one who helped him illustrate his book (even if i also like the idea that it could be Joseph himself but you still have the idea). So yeah it could be also totally normal for a lot of brothers and sisters to care for this guy that the Father called his gift or something.
Eric has fans for mostly his art but also his kindness, trying to help everyone he can even if it means putting himself in trouble, in particular his health. I also like to think it’s something very beneficial because even if Eric doesn’t feel like he is a gift or something, he just feels like he is like the others but they still all care for him and some a lot ! He often look like the weakling of the family, looking skinny, skipping meals because he was too focused on a landscape for days or things like this, Eric is a man that genuinely don’t know how to take care of himself properly because if he has the possibility to do his passion, the gift Joseph gave him, he’ll do it even if it becomes unhealthy so it’s always good for him to have people all around the regions, fans or siblings that are here to simply makes sure the talented child is okay.
Hope i answered well !
Thanks again I’m very grateful for some people maybe starting to like my oc and i help it helped you see how he thinks or maybe better understand his role in the big family or even his role besides the Soldier
#it was a really pleasure even if i took AGES because of school or just because I’m shity#yes again i always try to make Eric’s lore so he can fit in literally any canon so i can imagine him react with anyone even with other ocs#even ocs or Pratt being with Jacob because THATS THE THING! do they have really something going on or it’s just false love ?#both too scared to admit their feelings or justa one sides love relationship ?!#no matter what their bond exist#maybe is he just something like a friend or a secret confidant to the Soldier?#what is known is that most part of their relationship is private so not a lot known what is really going on#anyway it’s 6am and i Finally answered this !#thanks you again friend. it made my night better but i have to go sleep now and it’s becoming too long#oc talk#oc: eric nightsun#far cry 5#jacob seed#joseph seed#chizups#thanks again!
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hi it s almost 3 am for me and i’m so very sleepy but i’ve been thinking about pbj like all day. johnny hates his birthday lowkey and the only people who actually know when it is are dally pony and steve (some how .) and pony know johnny doesn’t want some big deal outta it so he doesn’t make a deal outta it. just “oh look, we baked a new cake this weekend.” “i found this at the store for real cheap and thought of ya,” “let s go to the lot today yeah? jus’ me and you,” and johnny 100% knows what pony’s doing be he just. allows it cause there isn’t no stopping him
AHDGHJSGHDHA I love that
Because yeah, Johnny probably grew up thinking and being told his birthday was a burden because he was a burden. How every birthday his parents reminded him that he wasn’t wanted there. And he just started to hate his birthday.
But then there’s Pony who grew up loving birthdays because they brought people together. And even though he knows that Johnny hates his, he likes to do little things for him. And Johnny, who loves Pony, can’t even bring himself to be bothered by it. Because this is Pony telling Johnny he loves him, he cares, and Johnny isn’t a burden to him. So yeah, he’d eat the cake that Pony made, and he’d shyly take whatever it was Pony got or made for him, and he’d let his hand be grabbed as Pony pulled them toward a quiet night in the lot. And if Johnny smiled, even a little bigger than normal, Pony viewed the entire day as a success.
#thank you thank you thank you#also go to sleep 😭😭#but thank you#ajgdshagshdja#oh they make me sick#in the best way#bc imagine Pony waking up on Johnny’s birthday and habit leads him to mixing ingredients in the kitchen for a cake#and about halfway through he remembers#he remembers Johnny is gone#and this day doesn’t mean anything anymore#and so he just breaks down on the kitchen floor#because what should’ve been his best friend’s 17th birthday is now just a random Saturday#so pony finishes the cake#and he cuts a slice and wraps it and takes it to go eat at Johnny’s grave#and he’d just sit there and talk to him and give him updates#tell him about how Darry got promoted and Soda has a new girl#tell him about how Two Bit quit drinking and Steve still loves his cars#how Ace was closer to finally getting away#how they were all moving forward#and he cries too#ok now I’m sad#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#pbj
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I’m still figuring out how to draw him :/
I kinda wanted to leave his out-of-disguise design (the one with all the scars) with his hair down, since he’s supposed to kinda resemble Madara. But the pony reminded me of Sakumo and that’s infinitely better. Him having given up everything that makes him ‘Kakashi’ but unconsciously holding on to the remnants of his identity ougghh (and I think he’d be more used to having his hair up bc of wearing that wig all the time)
I’m still unsure if I want Sukea’s coat to be more soldier-esque with a more practical design, or more child-like with a simpler rain coat design 🤷♂️
I may have to reread some chapters but I’d swear he wore a cloak or smth. I mean, he’d have to cover up his hair with something? Idk it looks mysterious
I could’ve drawn the last Kakashi in the Akatsuki cloak but in the end I just did that musty robe he took from Madara
#rocks fall; scene end#⬅️⬅️the fic#kakashi hatake#these are all kinda ass#but they’re just sketches to help visualize the final design#i should pick up mu sketch book again#im out of practice and it shows 😔#might go crazy and make a bunch of designs for everyone#like the clothes and stuff#and hair maybe#bc for example I still don’t know how to draw Obito#what clothes does he wear now? idk#anyway I’m going to sleep
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the kimono outfit padmé wears might be my favourite in the film and i lament how little screen time it gets every damn day
#padme amidala#queen amidala#sw tpm#the phantom menace#tpm#star wars#bluevelvt art#my art#gotta actually do stuff for classes now not gonna sleep cause i have two late assignments and tomorrow is last day i can turn them in#not to mention all the time i’m going to have to spend on stuff for all my finals in the next three days#this is i’m letting this be my kickstart for drawing and last thing to draw for myself for a bit#just idk throw me in a lake
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Throws my mute + system sunny headcanon at you
#lemon man's art#I’m going to sleep but I was thinking about this#I can’t draw hands apologies#I can’t draw at all this looks really bad but it’s almost 11pm also and I’m sooo tired#I’m not main tagging this bc people like to be mean when they disagree with a headcanon#described#described art#I thought plural sunny would be a more popular interpretation among the fandom but whatever#Like wdym he created a whole world with an alternative version of himself in his head after a traumatic event#And the whole purpose of that version of him is hiding the memories of that event from him#And also there’s versions of his friends and his sister in there and it’s called headspace#I can’t think rn but it just. Makes a lot of sense to me ok#DID Sunny makes a lot of sense to me. Just like BPD Basil#And also I’ll try to use this as an excuse to finally learn sign language bc I’ve been meaning to for like 3 years now and I couldn’t yet#I really have to…
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I would love to understand why my brain and body are desperate to not shower in the safety of my own home but perked up at the offer to go shower at the gym that’s full of people I don’t know and men who could pin me and locker rooms with open doorways and less control over cleanliness than I can get in my own apartment. Something something the years of swim practice and swim meet locker room showers being safe I guess?
#I’ll allow it#I’ll even encourage it if it can help me get over 6 miles walked per day again#but can I please fucking shower? I feel so gross#I have never in my life had as hard a time showering or bathing as I have this year and it’s been killing my self esteem#I feel like everyone knows I’m gross and I KNOW I need to shower#it’s important#and I don’t want my hair greasy or anything#but I go out of my way to avoid it except for an occasional hair wash or body shower when I need to go to an event#and it’s driving me CRAZY#cleanliness is really really next to godliness in my family and also I know everyone in the world views hygiene as a moral issue#and I CAN SHOWER I did it for YEARS I even did it daily for years I used to be SO good at always always doing at least the minimum#even if sleep deprived or sick#but now it’s like I’m stuck SCREAMING and slamming my palms bloody in a containment cell somewhere in the center of my concept of a body#BEGGING to just stop being so gross and to do a daily face routine and use lotion and keep my teeth healthy and keep my hair clean#and it doesn’t even matter#I’m so ashamed all the time#but my brain doesn’t give a shit about it anymore#it views the endless shame as a lesser evil and god I hope I figure out how to get that stopped#I don’t even get triggered in the shower!!! I don’t know what’s wrong! my brain just does everything it can#to keep me from undressing and showering#no matter how much I hate it#and this is so tmi sorry oh god#I’ll probably delete this later#but#shh katie#add to journal#is it the dissociation? is it the adhd? is it the ptsd?#FINALLY my POTS symptoms chill out for the winter and now THIS?
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SO NO ONE WAS GONNA TELL ME ABOUT HOW A CERTAIN MISSION CHOICE WAS IMPORTANT IN DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD??? 😭😭😭 I’M DEVASTATED NOW AND IT’S 5 AM
#dragon age the veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#choices matter#major spoilers in tags to caution#spoilers happen after this tag:#BUT Y’ALL WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN DAVRIN OR HARDING COULD DIE IN CHAPTER 11?!?!#WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S LIKE MASS EFFECT WHERE EVERYONE COULD DIE 😭😭😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU EITHER HAVE TO MAKE ASSAN AN ORPHAN GRIFFON OR RUIN TAASH AND HARDING’S RELATIONSHIP?!?! 😭😭😭#I’M SO HEARTBROKEN I CAN’T 😭😭😭#NOW I GOTTA WORRY ABOUT THE REST OF MY PARTY LIVING 😭😭😭#at least I finally got to smooch Lucanis but at what cost??? 😞😞😞#when Taash just says that everyone they love dies I was about to CRY 😭😭😭#anyways I’m going to bed and crying myself to sleep 😭😭😭#Solas gonna put me in a Prison of Regret after all this 😭😭😭
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ♥️ u deserve everything and anything in the world!!
i’m inverting sisnsisbshs
thank you pookie biscuit 🤭
#i’m snug in my bed rn but giggling like a mf#I SWEAR THERE WILL BE A NEW CHAPTER SOME POINT IN THE COMING WEEK#THE HALF TERM HAS STARTED SO I CAN FINALLY WRITE#yayy let’s celebrate 🥳#you guys are so nice to me#i’m just#stop#ily#reinaswrld#gonna get poetic here but whatever#when you disappeared randomly (cuz you wanted to be a FOOL and practically fake ur death like peter pettigrew 😐)#i thought you really died#(not rlly but i did believe you were missing)#and my days were darker#it felt like having a day 1 period EVERY day#my eyebags were heavier#my sleep time was shorter#and i was depressed#and then when i summoned you#you returned like the omega you are to my alpha (just go along with it pls i xan’t be shakespeare rn 💀)#and now i’m whole again#ready for fhe next full moon#^ excuse me fanfic writers#where is our (reinaswrld and my) love story? 🙄#this would literally make you become new york time’s no.1 best selled#seller*#HELLO? hop to it 🤨
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My solice as I explode over grad applications is that people are starting to enjoy my robot art
#love tumblr sometimes#post that flopped on posting randomly get picked up#and I’m kissing the hands of those who do#anyway#guess who was like#oh yah I need to remake my website portfolio to keep going#and then didn’t#and now#I have …. very little time#CUZ I DONT WANNA DO THUS BUT I ALSO REALLY WANT TO GET INTO GRAD SCHOOLS#I HATW TALKING ABOUT MYSELF IS THE THING#so I work on my symbolic understanding and use of the demon essay isnt of my statement of purpose#ooOos#normally I’m too ancnious and get things done so early#but it finally hit me#also I’m still sick#I couldn’t sleep because my nose clogged#and then I had very weird half awake dreams
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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me: i’m gonna make sure i remember to take my meds properly
my doctors office: actually we’re gonna just… not refill that for a while. yeah, you can call all you want. we’ll say we’re working on it and then not do it. enjoy the withdrawals, bitch
#crying#no seriously i’m so mad#i FINALLY started feeling better after remembering to take my meds#and now i’m out of them and my dr is a piece of poo#i’m now on day three of no mood stabilizers:)#i’ll admit tho that between this one and my antidepressant#the withdrawal from the antidepressant is MUCH WORSE#like i get intensely sick when i don’t take it#this one is just making me tingly and on edge and not sleeping well#i can’t focus for the life of me#i just wanna lay in bed :(#fuck the us healthcare system#why you gotta be that way#just give me the pills i’ve been taking for the better part of a DECADE why do we go through this like every three fucking months#it’s just never easy with this shit#sorry about the rambles
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