#but none of us did that so it's cool
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can i also be beautiful if i am dangerous?
#moon fnaf#moondrop#dca fandom#i hope this relays the emotions i was aiming to portray#silhouettes are. difficult#have i blabbed enough that my tags are hidden?#good. cool#this is based on a photo taken of Moon (alter) having a quiet moment with his thoughts at the aquarium#and the jellyfish photo used here is one he took himself#none of this is exactly relevant to the art but i thought i'd share it anyway#i don't talk about having DID too often or. ever#so i guess this is me finally sharing that piece of myself in a way#Moon was openly vulnerable for that hour in the exhibit so maybe i can be too#anyway. um. enjoy!
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Chapter 43: One Last Song of Revelations/ Chapter 44: Of Prophet’s Dark Deceptions/ Chapter 45: Of Love, And Gods’ Defeat
listen i know shrues speech was definitely not the only thing that led to val’s final lie, it was just one of the final dominos to fall in her arc for her to come to the conclusion she did, but all that said i think. i just think. i just.
#it did make a difference it did matter it did make a difference#but they died not knowing it and none of them know who val was none of them know what she did#just like how carpenter never learned that faulkner chose her at the end and paige doesn’t know what happened to any of them.#even when it’s hopeless you have to keep trying. you have to keep going. it’s all any of us can do.#whatever man. WHAT. EVER. it’s so fine it’s so totally cool.#*stares in podcast rambling*#tsv#tsv spoilers#the silt verses#the silt verses spoilers#tsv s3#tsv finale#the silt verses season 3#val tsv
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played slay the princess and this quote has been in my mind ever since
#slay the princess#slay the princess makes me want to make vns and do something like this but also in the holy shit this is so fucking cool#i wish i did something like this!!! just GOSH#beautiful#teh storytelling the choices#also like the only choice based game where there was always a choice that i feel is what i wanted to say#usually im like mmm none really fits but i will use this one i guess
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Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.
#squiggposting#i'm too tired to like actually care about this any more#and ppl's fandom takes don't necessarily represent their IRL views#but i'm just like. oh so i see that you want to write mature stories with politics and dealing with bigotry. that's cool!#now do it in a way that actually refutes bigotry and makes some sort of attempt at resolution#bc 'oh humans are just as bad and evil so it's fine if we colonize them' isn't the pro-con take ppl think it is lkdsfjlsdkfs#honestly this is what john barber got right in his story even tho the politics in his became overbearing#at least he's like the one dude who rightfullly pointed out 'uhhh organics have history with cybertronians that makes them very justified#'in not trusting them'#but my mistake is expecting the average 'con fan to disengage from the 'revolution' part to talk about the racism and imperialism lmao#if ppl weren't cowards they would be able to write characters as problematic and bigots and imperialists#but still show their humanity and point out how the cycle of retribution needs to end at some point#and how killing everyone who ever did anything bad (esp for a race as long lived as theirs) isnt a sustainable model of society#that's my PROBLEM man like stop being COWARDS acknowledge that your heroes can be shitty ppl#instead of framing things as good guys vs bad guys and then framing absolution as being only for the good guys#what if good and bad didn't exist and we were all shitty in some way and none of us inherently deserve forgiveness. what then#what if you wrote a story where you had to deal with the reality of rehabilitating ppl who have genuinely done horrible things#what if you wanted to rehabilitate society but realized the majority of ppl in it are monsters. what then?#do you only extend forgiveness and peace to the ppl who got thru with no moral compromises?#do you want to kick the majority/almost all of your race to the curb and give them no mercy/second chances?#what if ppl wrote stories where sociopolitical issues had no good/bad guys and no easy solutions#what if ppl had the courage and ethical fortitude to say 'everyone here sucks actually'#anyways sorry for the rant
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hot busty time-stopping kings in YOUR area
NOT MY ART MY FRIEND AYA MY DEAR FRIEND AYA DREW THIS AND GRACIOUSLY IS LETTING ME POST THIS AS HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE
(LINK TO HIS TWT HERE BTW CHECK HIM OUT SHE IS SO COOL AND EPIC AND WONDERFUL AND AWESOME!!!!!)
like these cursed vibes? epic! my cool and awesome and epic and wonderful friend squid whom i have been inflicting torment upon and also me a miki are AND ALSO SPECIAL GUEST AYA WOO streaming ISAT rn link right here where the vibes stem from LMAO
or vods in this link here instead if thats preferred :]
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#suggestive#probably???#its marked mature regardless so lmao#i am so sorry to anyone who did not want to see this having to scroll past if they can </3#he won a bikini competition <3#3 years straight <3#until......... </3#feel free to say 18+ things on this one or whatever lmao be free#aya said she is cool with it LMAOOOOO#and idrc either i am mainly indifferent lmao#just know i might send over whatever ya'll say her way ASDASFAD#or throw rocks at just me a miki for putting this here none to aya tho >:[#mea on stream#i suppose its related!!!#aya ghostwrote some of this lmao#squid left us unattended for like an hour and that is how the second image spawned :thumbsup:
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Time Loops are they/them culture (Patreon)
Bonus of my little guy in ISaT style:
#Doodles#Pixel art#ISaT#Siffrin#Loop#And then I still don't have even a code name for smol and my time loop concept lol#I'm sure you can imagine my excitement upon seeing a time loop RPG <3#Not to be silly but the thought of either of us picking up the wavelength and running with it is fun to me haha ♪#I...may or may not have developed brainworms about it it's fine lol#Good characters! Good story! I'm always a sucker for a tragedy with bright spots <3 It's hard to even call the ending bittersweet tho hehe#It's very sweet! Like sugar :) Hehe#Shock of shocks I - person who has done this how many times now - liked the dynamic between Sif and Loop best haha#Is it spoilers if it requires past knowledge of my faves hmmm inconclusive lol#These were just introduction doodles - not even Getting Used To doodles yet a step before that!#Fun designs :D I like Sif's hair a lot <3 The way it's two-tone because he likes black! Adorable! And cowlicks hehehe#And eyepatch hehehe Sif's design is so fun ♪#What no my time loop shop keep lad having a hat like that has no bearing! I'm completely unbiased! Lol#For the pixel art I did directly just use Siffrin's hat in shape haha I just added the belt and buckle ouò#Man it's been too long since I've played with pixel art it's still so fun <3#Someday I'll get Aseprite. Someday#In the meanwhile it was fun to make their colour palette :D#I love that ISaT is in black and white canonically as well I think it's really cool ♪#Me when monochrome red 💕💖😭🤌💗#It is simply The Best colour palette out there I'm sorry others need not apply#Again my pencils and blood pen surely give away none of my biases because I don't have any lol#Hrmng I want SASASAP too pixel art cool - the glow up in ISaT is only strengthened by looking at the original closely!#Ah well I'll just admire at a distance until then <3
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i could azujamify these songs watch
#shit i'll even make a whole au out of it#should i yap abt the lore here#no one gets to answer that. i'll do it anyway#lore summary of both songs ic u haven't listened to them: cassandra (pink) is a wish-granting witch. she runs a café and hana#(vflower looking person) is her first customer. they become a regular n the two hit it off#after a while hana reveals that they were suffering with a terminal illness (it was never specified i think)#cassandra reveals that she's a witch - hana's like oh cool#and they spend the rest of hana's hana's remaining months with each other#oh and did i mention that they're in love#anw hana dies and cassandra is grieving so she goes on to use her wish-granting magic to. well. grant wishes#all the person needs to do is sign a contract - and the fee for a wish is a human heart. killed by the person's hand.#and if they don't get the heart by the deadline then cassandra takes /their/ heart instead#she does this many times n none of her attempts work#the story ends w hana's ghost telling cass to stop the contracts n move on#and other bittersweet stuff happens idk i don't wanna use too much of the tags ueueuu#twst#twisted wonderland#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#twst azul#twst jamil#azujami#jamiazu#ashenviper#vaunteir's non-art thangz#that summary was so rushed i'm so sorry#there was a pinned comment w a summary of the lore in the caffè latte video but it got deleted i think#anw i love vane lily sm
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what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.
#theo.txt#spn#charlie#spn spoilers#spn 10x21#almost none of the women who've gotten fridged on this show have deserved it but still#good god this one made me especially angry#why do you use this character for a plot point and then ship her off somewhere. to oz or to the afterlife. so often?#she was such a cool character with a good story that i enjoyed and related to and THIS is what they did with her?? and from my perusing she#doesn't even really come back like bobby occasionally does?? and his death. while devastating to me as somebody who really liked him. still#felt WAY better than this#sorry i ended that episode with my jaw on the fucking FLOOR oh my god. /neg#what did she have to die for? where is that post about female characters dying so male characters can feel sad but it's a gifset of all the#bullshit ass deaths of women on supernatural#i love the show fucking obviously but jesus h christ.#but also you know what. having the context that i have. still a fucked up thing to say but i see why dean says That to sam now during#charlie's funeral. it IS an interesting look into how they respond to the other one violating their wishes/freedoms and into their larger#dynamic actually! but thats not what this post is really about#wow. i am actually livid. poor fucking charlie.#if she was like a sister to the winchesters how about you bring her back huh? how about you revive her? jesus christ#i wonder what her heaven is like. i hope its dnd and movie night with the girls#i took a little break mid-typing this to see if i was just being insane and angry but no the super wiki has a whole section about the fan#outrage at charlie's death and the discussions it furthered about the show's misogynistic tendencies#and you know what? good!#ok anyway. im going to go browse charlie art and feel abnormal now.#supernatural#charlie bradbury
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. россия or whatever
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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Someone being extremely annoying in the replies of my flowey and clover gif and I'm running out of patience 😭
#'well I THINK theyd just kill everyone then never reset in neutral' 'WE decide who clover is at heart' can you not#like. this is a piece of fanart. did you really just reply to tell me you don't like my headcanons or what#like... at least mention the art of you're gonna go on a several reply stint of this...#and im sorry but mmmmh... bad takes. frisk is morally ambiguous and its impossible to know what they'd do without our influence at this tim#but its a. fucking HUGE plot point in yellow neutral that we know what clover does without influence. without us. without flowey.#they stay w toriel indefinitely...#there's wiggle room for why and that's interesting. but its very clear vengeance wouldnt normally be their driving force#and that in itself is interesting! do we make them give into their anger? warp their sense of justice?#are they just going through the motions of getting this done now that they've ended up on this path?#that's all way more interesting to discuss than what feels like just treating them as a nothing character to treat as an insert#they did say its bc they dont like considering vengeance canon but that stumps me even more#why do you think we mold them then????#and idk if the devs said anything about it being noncanon but i haven't heard so#(and the devs also said Clover's gender is 'up to interpretation' and that's stupid so i also just don't care I'm sorry)#I'd rather embrace all routes and consider what that can mean for the characters#vengeance being unrealistic for ut means nothing when NONE of uty is realistic for ut#it's just a cool what if kinda story
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sorry to post a negative wof thing but sometimes i remember the “morrowseer is moonwatcher’s dad but no one knows or cares, its just this quirky trivia thing” bit and get irrationally frustrated. like if you didnt have any ideas on what to do with that tui then you couldve just. not done it.
#it literally makes no sense why she shouldnt know beyond ‘’some stray thoughts her mom accidentally let out’’ either#like ok iirc secretkeeper was barring her own mind from her. however she did that#but youre telling me that No One Else ever thought about morrowseer and his crimes#none of the nightwings none of the rainwings no one ever thinks about the queens right hand man#who orchestrated crimes against dragonkind and ruined so many lives or was a hero to some of them#no ones ever spared that guy a second thought?#or like- did no one know secretkeeper was morrowseers wife? did no one connect the dots that her secret baby was probably morrowseers secret#secret baby? its not like no one knew she was pregnant with his kid right???#NO ONE that ever looked at moon and directed hostile thoughts abt her that affected her self worth ever went ‘’oh shes morrowseers baby#of course SHE was spared our same trauma’’#NO ONE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT HIS CRIMES???? NOT A SINGLE ONE???#wouldnt this contribute to her mistreatment and anxiety since he used his supposed power to hurt and manipulate people??#but…. no tee hee its this silly little bit of trivia we wont delve into#like. again…. you didnt HAVE to make morrowseer her dad!!#like it comes across like tui came up with the idea of having the new protag be related to the previous antagonist and thought it was cool#but then didnt have any real ideas beyond that so she just made it this weird unspoken ironic fact?#like…. no i dont think its this ironic scene that she finds his literal corpse in the volcano and doesnt know its him#and doesnt seem that horrified by it#she should see that and feel incredibly complicated and disgusted feelings
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time princess players how do y'all picture the MCs of every story
like since every set and piece of official art has a different hair colour, length, and style with every picture of them, and sometimes there's descriptions that don't match the images, which one do you go with
and do you make half of them look like your avatar or have your own designs
#dutp#time princess#when playing/viewing it through the ''story traveler'' lens#i often justify the hair colour changes in-universe by headcanoning that it's story kingdom magic that allows you to change your hair colou#by default i make half the mcs look like (taller versions of) me/my avatar (who's designed after me but with purple eyes) to some extent#but there are exceptions#like if the mc isn't white i'm obviously not gonna base her design off myself#except Maybe giving her my/my avatar's hair length#and if a spinoff shows the mc i'll often use that design#i always pictured zoya blonde until the salvia spinoff story came out and showed her with the light brown hair from that one set#it also described zoya as having black eyes which i went with#i didn't have a locked in eye colour headcanon for her before but i didn't really picture her with eyes that dark#probably because none of the album art gave her black eyes#though eye colours tend to be inconsistent in this game#nastia's described with gray eyes but that one album art gives her blue eyes#and on the flipside charlotte's described with blue eyes in one side story but her model doesn't have blue eyes#nor does at least one album art of her#i give virtually every mc long hair just because most of the hairstyles in those sets require it#i always picture cordelia with dark hair and ocean green-blue eyes#like a vivid teal colour. just fits someone whose name means ''daughter of the sea''#and sometimes i have her stop shaving her legs when she becomes a pirate because a) she lives on a boat#and b) representation of her leaving behind that gilded-cage life of fancy etiquette and ''you must become a perfect wife and mother''#in which she did everything society demanded of her at the expense of her own happiness#like yeah after escaping that i Will make cordelia stop shaving her legs. for the symbolism. and the fact that she lives on a pirate boat.#i always give aurora that pastel-almost-white shiny gradient dyed hair#because a) it's in half the sets b) it looks so so so cool c) it looks great next to the companions i ship her with#matches with novi and gives her a light-dark duality with selene's dark purple hair#idk her natural hair colour but i also give her the creepily pale eyes from Silent Night Rebirth#to match the pastel clothes she's so often in. this is not her natural eye colour either. hey that's p clearly a common thing in this city#i strongly doubt that selene's eyes are naturally that bright blueish purple
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HOMURANE RAYYYYYYYYYYYYY
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#utau#utauloid#homurane ray#one of my fav older utauloids. her deep tone is so cool. i also need to use her for something some time#i found out the other day that in openutau you can press space to pause and play when in the note editing window#i didnt know. i didnt know. i had been switching to the main program window to manually click the pause button. since theres none in#the editing window. i didnt know until i taught a buddy how to use openutau and they did that and i was like WHAT THE FUCK#they said they saw it in a tutorial they watched. i dont watch tutorials. i dont read manuals. with software i run in#and push buttons until either i figure it out or everything explodes. this is the life im living#ANYWAY what im saying it openutau just became way easier to use now that i know that it responds to space bar presses LOL#so i should mess around... i should make some covers.....
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hmmmm biggest mistake of Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me so far was making it take place 1998.... whoops... i just really wanted Bradley to be turning 15...
this just shows that i'll do anything for the birthday guy... i'll even disregard real military operations and historical events. anything for u bradley brad bradshaw
#there were no major battles or accomplishments or operations in early june of 1998 for Mav to get injured in#at least none that Wikipedia tells me#like where were u mav..... where did they send you....#so he just got injured... somehow... somewhere... that I don't even know#i unfortunately found this outwhen I was trying to make a timeline of my icemav's relationship...#and then i fell down a us military research rabbit hole and rerealized a plot inconsistency#like i kinda already knew that nothing happened in 1998 but i was trying to ignore it#i like how i said MY icemav#l was trying to say my interpretation#but like they're mine ig#let me know if anyone wants a timeline btw i will make a post#i'll make it all pretty and cool looking#please someone say yes#icemav#icemav fanfic#top gun 1986#top gun#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#bradley rooster bradshaw#stopthatfool writes
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Something that makes reading TOA so devastating is how fucking much Apollo feels about Everything. There’s so MUCH. Like I don’t even know how to describe it to you if you haven’t read the books yourself. He has so many complicated thoughts and emotions about just about everything and he cares about everything so much and there is just SO MUCH going on in his head. And yet none of it ever reaches his mouth!!
He almost never says what he’s feeling. What little comes out of his mouth about his thoughts barely even scratches the surface of what he actually means. Like he’ll be having a long ass monologue about how incredible someone is, showing a deep understanding of them as a person and empathizing with them so hard you’d almost think it’s projection but it’s not he’s legitimately just mind melding with this random person he met like a week ago and he’s thinking the softest, kindest thoughts about them like he knows they’re fucking incredible - and what comes out of his mouth is just like, “you’re a wonderful friend :)” AND ITS LIKE. THERES SO MUCH MORE UNDER THE SURFACE. the sheer admiration and adoration he has for everyone around him……… UGHHH!!! But he never VOICES ANY OF IT!!!!!! He never tells anyone about what Zeus did to him……. He never tells anyone except the reader about his realization that Zeus is abusive…. He never even tells commodus about how much he adored him, not then and not now… he refuses to tell anyone when he’s in pain or tries to justify the things he does when he actually had Decent Reasons for why he did something… I’m. I’M. AUGH. AHHHHH
HE DOESN’T EVEN TELL US ALL OF HIS THOUGHTS IS THE THING. THERES EVEN MORE THAT HE IS NOT TELLING US!!!!! THE FUCKING OCEAN OF FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS HE HAS ABOUT EVERYTHING IS THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION. I AM IN DISTRESS.
And YET…. Even what slips out of his mouth is so fucking devastating it is SO devastating. He’s so fucking kind and gentle with Harley and Meg and and other younger Demis and his kids… he’ll act like an obstinate idiot and then turn around say something that drags the core of the person he’s talking to into the light like nail on the fucking HEAD like he reached into their soul and gave them the words to express something that they were struggling to say aloud or that they didn’t even realize about themself. Around the 2nd book he starts putting voice to some of his feelings and thoughts about others and even that tiny fucking sliver is overwhelming to the people he’s talking to bc he’s SO. AUGHHHH
#this is why ‘reading the TOA books’ fics fucking slap btw. because as embarrassing as his thoughts can be#so many of them are just incoherent screaming about how he loves everyone around him. devastating#like imagine helping out ur loser deadbeat dad who you don’t really know much about bc he’s flighty and hard to read#and finding out ‘wow he cares about us a lot more than I thought’#bc he literally almost dies to save you/your siblings and keeps following you all around everywhere#but he’s still like. your weirdo absentee dad. u don’t know hardly anything new about him other than an apparent suicidal streak#and then u find out that the whole time he was whining about chicken nuggets or whatever he was internally sobbing abt how much he loves u#and every time u were nearby he was going ‘MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY… JUST AS INCREDIBLE AS THEIR MORTAL PARENT!!!! BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE SUN!#HOW DID I EVEN MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY. UNREAL. THEY CANT BE MINE!? BUT THEY ARE!!! LOOK AT THEMMM!!?!!! IM SO PROUD……#my beautiful perfect angels… all of their parents best traits and none of our worst…. I am Barely restraining myself from sobbing#i would give u the WORLD if my father wouldn’t kill me for it :(‘#and it’s like. wow. okay dad. um. would have been nice to know that when we were all dying in The War#Please Hug Me Though.#imagine being a Random Ass Demigod who didn’t go on a big special quest or something like you are literally just Some Guy#and finding out that this weirdo loser god u gave a sandwhich to or something thinks you are so fucking cool#your own parent doesn’t know ur name but Apollo knows u on sight and read ur soul within the 2 seconds yall talked and he thinks you rock#how are you supposed to respond to that.#snack time#toa#longpost
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