confessionsofamedicalcollector

[confessionsofamedicalcollector]

In which a Debt Collector Roasts this Article

First off, this is a 2015-SEO-optimized article to whitewash collection companies. The article also never gets to the part of debtor rights.

A Roasting Attempt

Unpaid medical debt is reaching epidemic proportions as Corona pandemic.

What in the crappy copywriting is this. Where's the rest of that poor sentence? Was it mutilated? Sacrificed at Mamnon's altar?

Also, no shit. It's not like people's immune systems aren't being ravaged by a lymphocyte-disabling airborne disease.

Every healthcare service facility is looking for a trusted partner to outsource medical collection process.

Yes, and they're going to subcontract a significant portion of the operations to some poor devil in a poorer country (*waves hand*) to maximize profits.

If we go by surveys, health companies lose about 10-15% revenue every year due to debts incurred on them.

Don't you mean projected revenues, a.k.a imaginary investor expectations? Nothing was lost if it wasn't real in the first place.

A medical collection agency handles the work that an in-house team is not able to handle efficiently.

Most U.S. people do not know this, but a lot of medical bills aren't sold. Healthcare institutions subcontract medical debt collections agencies. These agencies get paid a flat rate plus a percentage of recovered fees.

Now you know another reason why U.S. healthcare is so expensive: Your doctor's bills have to pay for imaginary revenue, collection agency rates for other people's unpaid debt, and commissions. It's a pyramid scheme and you're at the bottom.

Outsourcing medical bill debt collection service is beneficial for the healthcare industry.

Fuck the patients, amirite?

We are one of the most trusted medical debt collection companies globally. We strive to build a focused and streamlined medical collection strategy. This will enhance the collection, cut costs, save time and enhance resources procuring. We work on No Win No Fee policy.

I dunno, man, that English is suuuuuuuuuuuus (bolded). I think you even outsourced website copywriting—and you didn't even hire the good ESLs.

Our latest software and well-equipped human resource solutions deliver error-free results.

Honestly, the companies I've worked for pay for shitty servers that disconnect during calls, even when our local internet is running at mega speeds.

We know how important is your business reputation and relationship with your patients.

Do medical debt collectors have a good reputation anywhere? Genuinely curious.

Our expert professional takes care of medical collection services and helps in improving revenue performance. With our healthcare debt collection services companies can enhance their cash flow.

You keep saying “expert professionals”, yet I don't think I ever got more than a month of training. Maybe the industry trains more U.S.-based staff because they can be personally sued?

Industry is finding difficulty in recover past-due bills from insurance companies and patients. Medical debt is the largest percentage of consumer debt in collections. As it is getting difficult for healthcare industry to recover debt by in-house so companies are hiring medical collection agency to help collect their past due accounts.

But think of the poor healthcare institution shareholders who aren't getting their money's worth!

Tax write-off, people.

This is because no medical insurance refunds 100% bill amounts.

Serious: A lot of patients are naïve about this fact. But I've insurance! Yes, and it's a scam, it's just that without it the scam gets worse.

The medical debt collection companies are professionals and will help in retaining customers or patients as they are good in negotiating.

AHAHAHAHAHAA I'VE BEEN CURSED OUT SO MANY TIMES

that is definitely an excellent relationship with “customers”

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You never got to this bit:

In this article, we shall explain how medical debt collection agencies work and what you can do to deal with them. We shall also tell you what your rights are and how to protect yourself from unfair practices.

But this was never about debtor rights but about ranking in Google search results to generate profit off collections.

How Do Medical Debt Collection Companies Work?

Have you ever received a call from a healthcare debt collector? It can be really scary, especially if you do not know how the process works. Medical debt collection companies are different from regular debt collectors, and they can be a little harder to deal with. In this article, we shall explain how medical debt collection agencies work and what you can do to deal with them. We shall also tell you what your rights are and how to protect yourself from unfair practices. So, if you have  been dealing with medical debt collectors, or you are just curious about how they work, keep reading.

[confessionsofamedicalcollector]

*shifts nervously in her country*

Mine does but we have public health care. It's… complicated.

No other country puts their vulnerable citizens in medical debt. None...........none.

[confessionsofamedicalcollector]

The Racists Never Get It Right

Me: Hello, my name is [actual name], may I speak with John Doe? John: He's speaking. Me: I'm with [company]. This is a collection… John: *notices my slight accent* Whoah, whoah, whoah! Where are you? Me: Our offices are in [corporate overlord's city and address]. John: No, you're actually in [basically my location's antipode]!!! Fuck you!!! Me: I assure you, sir, I'm not in [antipode]. This is a collection attempt on behalf of… John: You're a scam!!! Fuck you [country slur] scammer! *hangs up* *scripts modified so I don't get fired, lol*

[confessionsofamedicalcollector]

Extremely.

Do bear in mind that cohabitation has been common in my country for generations.

All debate about that reveal aside, can we talk about the fact that as far as I know all the Americans just nodded and went “yeah, fake marriage for health insurance, makes sense.” That was truly the least surprising thing about this episode. Non-Americans, how batshit does that sound to you? Please tell me.