#but living without them
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Thinking of you, even now
Darling, I Left the House, by Joseph Brodsky || Nickie Zimov || Faces in the Crowd, Valeria Luiselli || Garden of Words, Makoto Shinkai || Love, Alex Dimitrov || This is Not a Love Poem, Caitlyn Siehl
#web weaving#dark academia#quotes#on love#breakup#missing someone#but living without them#poetry#romantic academia#chaotic academia#alternative academia#poems and quotes#academia#chaotic academic aesthetic#prose#joseph brodsky#nickie zimov#valeria luiselli#makoto shinkai#garden of words#alex dimitrov#caitlyn siehl
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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How much longer 'til your luck runs out?
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Aaargh...I have so many thoughts about this scene.#This is a hard goodbye. I'm not your burden to bear. Not anymore.#This is the culmination of years of miscommunication. There was so much love there. They trusted each other with everything once.#I think it is easy to hear the anger in JC's voice and consider him the aggressor in this but listen to the words not the tone.#It is anger yes - but it is an anger born out of love.#Jiang Cheng wanted him to live - damn the rest of the world to hell if that's what it took. And Wei Wuxian chose strangers over him.#Sometimes two people who once flourished together become each other's worst wounds.#A goodbye to someone you once would have done anything for is a wound you don't easily recover from.#Jiang Cheng could have stood at Wei Wuxian's side and joined him. Consider though; as a sect leader his life is not his own anymore.#JC cannot just abandon the fledgling New Yunmeng Jiang without also dooming people.#And that is the lynch pin of it all. Both of them are trapped by duty. And the older they got the more tangled the web became.#The song I linked (Hi Epic fans) is such a good JC and WWX song that doesn't fit this scene exactly#But it does fit *them*. The words of warning that go dismissed. The Tactical Genius who continues to press on.#The seeds of doubt that grow louder until they creep towards mutiny. Ultimatly this *is* a mutiny! It *is* betrayal!#'You rely on wit and people die by it'. Is that not Wei Wuxian?#Just smashing my brainworms together over here. Don't mind me.
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"right, one more attempt, and then i think we're gonna have to call it the end of the session."
mumbo died on his last attempt. right before grian would have ended the session. right before grian could have saved him.
"but i just don't want to kill jimmy..."
he could have taken the shot then and there. he could have lived.
but the miner didn't want to kill the canary. he wanted the canary to live. and he died for it. because miners aren't meant to go into the coal mines alone.
#wild life smp spoilers#wild life smp#traffic smp spoilers#wlsmp spoilers#traffic life#grumbo#mumbo jumbo#grian minecraft#wild life mumbo#trafficblr#traffic series#traffic smp#life series#//#mumbo literally lived in a cave underneath jimmy's base. he went to the coalmine without the canary. and so he died.#fun fact! did you know miners used to get attached to the canaries in mines?#enough they couldn't bare the thought of them dying? that they tried to save them by putting them in glass boxes?#one of the reasons the practice of using canaries was stopped was because they switched to electronic gas detectors.#reminds me of a certain mustached man associated with electronics!
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Timebomb somewhere in the world living a happy life selling oranges or something
#a girl cannot live a day without thinking of them#someone sedate me#arcane#Timebomb#arcane fanart#timebomb fanart#art#drawing#sketch#illustration#digital art#fanart#ekko league of legends#league of legends#ekko arcane#ekkojinx#ekko#jinx arcane#jinx
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Production houses: but if the writers stay on strike we can't guarantee the future safety of your favorite shows 🥺🥺😭😭
Viewers who 1, have already lost their favorite shows because they were cancelled in spite of good ratings and good reviews or 2, have stopped watching new content entirely until the entire series has aired and concluded as a result of so many good shows getting cancelled on cliffhangers and thus leaving said viewers unable to gain closure with those characters and with a hollow viewing experience, so they've begun a, watching older shows they know came to a planned conclusion or b, revisiting their old favorites and enjoying the nostalgia or c, reading new books or fanfic instead: YOU ALREADY CAN'T GUARANTEE THE FUTURE OF OUR SHOWS SO GET FUCKING WRECKED AND PAY WRITERS WHAT THEY DESERVE!
#wga strike#support the strikes#writer's strike#writers guild of america#writers guild strike#edit; well this blew up a little#i just wanted to add that all our favorite shows are absolutely nothing without their writers#the bare freaking minimum is that those writers get paid a liveable wage#they are so underappreciated even though tptb would have nothing without them#a living wage is the bare freaking minimum pay them what they're worth for the work they do
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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."
This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.
I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.
Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)
His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:
A) a short lived person
B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.
The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.
But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".
So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.
Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.
The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.
Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.
Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!
Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!
On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.
That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.
The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.
And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.
And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.
Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.
Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.
Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!
I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.
Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!
and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi meta#kabru of utaya#laios touden#labru#laios x kabru#dunmeshi#og post#kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo#the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races#he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits#he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations#he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information#my beautiful machiavellian prince <3#it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt#he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him#without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.
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the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me
just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.
like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.
in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.
how am i supposed to act normal about this.
#i need to lay down#just drop this in there right at the beginning why not!#that’s INTENSE. and completely sincere considering his demeanor at the party. god#he’s so… nice. in the romanced epilogue. i expected him to be a little smug and jokey#if tav told him the others weren’t doing so hot without the two of them around#but he takes it so genuinely and with visible disappointment?? literally shocked me#i thought he would say oh of course their lives have taken a turn without our impressive leadership lol!#and then redirect into something a little less flippant#but man. he just gets sad. astarion six months into a loving relationship is like a stray cat that instantly gets cuddly when you adopt it#dude went cotton candy marshmallow saccharine sweet in a HEARTBEAT#bless the others with your presence he says. i’ll always be here he says. we have forever after all he says.#head in my hands. how could they do this to me#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#astarion#bg3 epilogue spoilers#bg3 spoilers#baldur’s gate 3 spoilers#bg3
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I feel like everytime the batkids are together in the comics and Bruce tells them to not do something, just after he left, Dick turns to his siblings to be like "So, what we do here is never listen to B. So we are going to do it." and one of them will be like "This is not going to end well.", and they follow Dick in the danger Bruce told them to stay away from.
It's incredible how Bruce still trust Dick SO MUCH when he is pulling this bs ALL THE TIME.
#dick grayson#nightwing#robin#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#my ramblings#dick “I never get older if I'm forever in my rebellious phase” grayson#bruce: “stay away from danger” dick to his siblings who are minors: “so what we are gonna do is face the danger without telling any adult”#dick is sometimes the worst role model he is going to get them killed#he is living his best life as an older sibling#I did the same thing with my lil sister it's a miracle nothing really bad happened#because I made her do some really dangerous thing
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🫢
#all media criticism is valid AS ALONG AS it is applied without bias#personally I find both peter and kamala endearing#if you hate either of them you may or may not be living a joyless life#but that’s just me!#the marvels#captain marvel#carol danvers#ms marvel#kamala khan#marvel#madeinwundagore#5k
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weakest link
#ffxiv#valerianart#alphinaud leveilleur#thancred waters#underexplored relationship imho#nobody talks about it anymore but i dont think you can go through something like that-#spending weeks or more believing youve destroyed your movement#your family#knowing the slaughter and ruin befalling them is due to your own inadequacy#- without it living in you for the rest of your life#you are forgiven#absolved even#but some things cant be washed away
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every time i think abt their canon height difference i want to eat drywall
#ISTG I COULD NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THE ANATOMY RIGHT FOR THIS ONE IDK WHY😭😭#anyway they make me sick in the head i try to go one day without thinking abt them and my rotting brain starts shutting down#they're like the iv drip that's keeping my sickly malnourished deteriorating body alive#live laugh love soukoku#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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party chat #56: nanba's transformation
(transcript both in alt text and below)
[image description: five-page comic of a "party chat" conversation from yakuza 7.
beneath the scaffolding of a construction site, nanba holds a bottle of tea and asks "hey, you think i've changed at all since we met?"
the rest of the party, standing or crouching on the side of the path, turn to look at him.
"hm? have you?" ichiban tilts his head, hand on chin, and lets saeko pick from his chip bag. "i dunno, lemme think..."
adachi leaps to his feet, splashing his can of beer and surprising saeko. "got it!"
adachi snaps his fingers with a triumphant smile. "you changed how you part your hair!"
"huh?" nanba reaches toward the back of his own head. "nope, it's still the same..." adachi sheds a single tear.
hand raised high, saeko announces "right! your prescription changed!" ichiban taps a canned coffee on his palm in an "i get it!" motion. "what, are you trying to be funny now!? and that's wrong, too!" nanba retorts.
"okay!" han looks serious. "you changed the frames on your glasses!"
"you started wearing contacts instead of glasses!" zhao finger-guns with a grin.
"will you quit it with the glasses thing!?" nanba snaps at an unfazed, juicebox-sipping han. "and does it look like i'm wearing contacts!?" he gestures at himself. zhao smugly bites an onigiri, still squatting on the ground.
adachi frowns around a pocky. "huh? then what's changed?"
"never mind... sheesh." nanba turns his back on the group.
a view of the vending machine and soccer field across the way. "i just thought maybe i'd grown a bit cheerier since i met you guys."
"that's all." nanba doesn't see the party staring in shocked silence.
saeko, han, and zhao exchange fond looks.
nanba chugs his tea as ichiban approaches.
ichiban bumps his drink hand against nanba's.
"well, we already knew that, man." ichiban grins so wide his eyes shut.
"yeah, you smile a lot more than you did before, nan-chan." saeko concurs, offering him her chip bag.
nanba looks up, eyes wide. "ichiban... you guys..."
a hand lands on nanba's shoulder.
arm slung over his friend's back, ichiban cheerfully assures "and i noticed that you got some new lenses on your glasses, too." nanba's face falls.
the party loses it. saeko collapses on adachi, both doubled over in laughter, zhao cackles as his glasses fall off, and han clutches his head in despair.
"i didn't change anything about my glasses!" nanba roars. on the ground, a plastic bag of leftover snacks reads "#56 nanba's transformation".
end image description]
#yu nanba#yakuza#yakuza 7#comic#fanart#i adore the conversations in this game and really wanted to draw this in a “nice” style#but everything was simply not occurring for over month so. rough layer as lineart 😭😭#thinking about how i wished you could bring all your friends with you in kiwamitwo#then lo and behold........... ichiban never goes anywhere without his buddies and he buys them burgers and almond jelly#and pasta stick bar snacks and 100+ dollar filet mignon and they crack jokes and reminisce seated around the table#about how much their lives have changed since they met each other while “munching on the fanciest baguettes in town”#(HOLE VOICE) THIS GAME WAS MADE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT#every day i say thank you chihiro aoki and 83key THANK YOU CHIHIRO AOKI AND 83KEY#you know how when you order at a restaurant you only buy 1 serving#yet despite splitting the dish everyone's stats go up the full amount?#my 100% true explanation: meals shared among friends just taste that much better :''^))
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An unbothered queen has entered, and subsequently left.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen qing#wen ning#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#In the audio drama she quite literally opens the door and then leaves after seeing them without breaking conversation.#It is both so impressive and deeply funny to me.#I imagine her just literally pivoting in one foot and walking right out.#She came home after a long day at work and in 0.5 seconds went “I would rather go back to the office than deal with this right now”.#Besides tickling me to near tears - this scene is also a great introduction to Wen Qing - her first instinct is to protect!#She lives by the code of 'I don't care who you are - if you need help I will lend it.' a true doctor and professional.#Sure she is *mad* that Wen Ning puts himself (and her to a lesser extent) at risk by helping 'the enemy' but she gives in quick.#I love Wen Qing a lot - she is such an unsung hero in this story.#Sorry that her first appearance on this blog was...what it was. I'll let your curiosity take you down that path...
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