#but like. i need to be functional today
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
it's the final move day
BWAH NANANAHH BWAHNA NUHNUH NAH
#pretend you can read the tune of final countdown to that#my body finally decided to start panicking over the concept of moving house so i feel a lot like#the ''this is fine'' meme right now#exacerbated by my body letting me know very firmly that it is not going to be happy with me today#but like. i need to be functional today#listening to my body is not super an option right now#which is internally frustrating for many reasons#its going to be fine its just gonna have to#but i feel very unmoored today and that is not especially helpful when i need to be able to self-direct#and y'know. help
0 notes
Text
Gideon has a whole protocol for when it gets too cold for Kremy. It's just how his brain works. He solved the issue like it was some machine acting up rather than his friend having a natural reaction to the cold.
First and foremost; GET WARM FAST. Whatever the quickest way to get Kremy warm is, that is the first step. Usually this involves wrapping a blanket around both of them so that Gideon can use his own heat to help him.
Secondly; consider how close the next town is. Is it less than an hour and there's no active snow storm? Great, hot foot it to the inn. Are they actively being snowed on and the next town is half a days walk? Find best cover and set up tents, his own fire could only do so much, and it's not worth the risk at that point just to get inside a building.
Thirdly; once in a relatively dry and protected space, remove any wet clothing and replace with comfy, dry jammies. If no wet clothing, removal beyond jacket and hat is unnecessary. Simply place sleepwear near the bed if Kremy wants to change later.
Fourth; alligators are evidently still able to drink during brumation. Grab waterskin and warm it a little. This will help with internal temperatures. AVOID ALCOHOL.
If all is well, simply prepare for bed. Grab a snack to assure internal fire keeps going all night. Ideal sleeping situation has Kremy on top of Gideon to avoid cold floors if they are in a tent, otherwise just having his arms around him in any other position.
There's only been one time when any other steps were needed. Thankfully they had the rest of the Krew by that point, so Gricko was able to assist, but Gideon really hopes he'll never have to do CPR again.
#mostly similar steps to hypothermia but you know#kremy's reptile brain 'mmm warmmm spot. sleepytime' vs kremy's conman brain 'if i don't do 300 tasks today I'll die idc if im cold'#i imagine lizardfolk have an altered version of brumation that is more watered down since they are humanoid#they dont need to sleep thru winter but they are generally tired all day and eat less meals#now REALLY cold temps cause them to actually get lethargic and even lose motor functions really quick#so its still not a good idea to be running around but like. they can. a little.#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#ouaw#text#this is a true fact#kremy lecroux#gideon coal#my own hc#...#coalecroux#sorry about the last line btw
206 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi i'm alive i'm just struggling my way to happiness & productivity
#but i swear i AM going to achieve it 💪💪💪💪💪 even if my main strssor rn is being so behind on work again 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪#comms comms comms#wheee#tomorrow is my bday but today is CRUNCH day im gonna spend 6 hours minimum @ work and then maybe more#this year im gonna get medicated for my adhd but so help me god in the meantime i am going to try with my whole heart to use schedules#and planners and reminders and focus apps and music to put myself in a no distractions cube#AH#RAUH#who needs addy when i can just smoke a bit of weed and ignore bodily functions for a few hours while i work#wweheeeeeeEW#my art#furry#oc: cow#fursona#cowmic#sortta#idunno. an update comic#bc i feel like ive been leaving everyone in the dark and it feels Bad#also sorry one last thing.#FUCK paypal. fuck paypal forever and ever.
237 notes
·
View notes
Text
Save me glammike
Glammike save me
Ver without words under cut, click for better quality
My Favorite Micheal design to draw
#digital art#art#my art#I forgot my earbuds today and have forgotten how to function.#fanart#my artwork#fnaf au#fnaf#fnaf art#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's security breach#five nights at freddy's#fnaf michael afton#micheal afton#fnaf micheal#michael afton#micheal afton fanart#micheal afton fnaf#digital fanart#fnaf security breach#glammike#glamrock freddy#fnaf glamrock freddy#tw bright colors#five nights at freddys#I'm iffy about the words but I felt like smthn needed to be there
250 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about compiling screenshots of golden/silver age batman exclusively calling dick his ward to combat the allegations that it was “initially a father-child relationship”
#dc#batman#brudick#i don’t even ship it#i think i'm still mad at the poll when people were trying to refute the brudick points#by saying shippers are also biased and ignoring the history and that it really was a familial relationship early on#me the only asshole on this website enough of dumbass to try to read early batman “no it fucking wasn't”#if you hate the ship fine but don't back up your argument with complete lies#the pro-brudick camp has receipts which gives them way more validity than the haters#i'm sure somewhere out there there's dick grayson pre-crisis saying bruce is like a father to him#there's so many comics and i've barely scratched the surface#but i did read both the first golden age compilation book of batman and silver age world's finest compilation#and neither of them say anything like that#and no “his ward dick grayson” is how he's called constantly it's one of the stock phrases in the ever present narration#early comics fundamentally didn't understand they were a visual medium and are full of very tedious and unnecessary text panels#and to be fair each issue needed to function as an intro to someone who had never heard of batman and robin before so#“and his ward dick grayson”#every damn time#their relationship was adult man and his plucky kid sidekick he inexplicably hangs out with#which doesn't make sense and doesn't parallel to real life real social interaction#but neither does a man going in a batsuit to fight crime#and the out-of-universe explanation is because this comic was aimed at kids who were supposed to project onto dick grayson#and the kids want to be batman's kid-partner not his kid-son#it's not that complicated this trope still exists today#kid who should not be here but is because it's a kids' show/book/movie/etc#i stg i'm gonna become a brudick shipper out of spite at this point#and WHILE I'M COMPLAINING i am also going to be mad at the people who get all up-in-arms#about all the evil heroes doing child endangerment on their poor abused sidekicks#should there be kid heroes? no but cape comics would suck without them so stop complaining and enjoy yourselves#RL vigilantism is also always bad stop bringing real world standards into this they don't apply
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
yalls asks and tags got me so excited and jittery im shaking like a small pathetic chihuahua /pos DLKFGJDF i'm gonna play dynaball until my brain normalizes but yalls kind words and reactions and questions are litearlly the WORLD to me tysm, please feel free to send more questions! i have so many good ones to answer over the next few days!!
#dbhc#i feel like a small feral kitten#mcci could make me normal again#or worse#but also knowing me i'll play one game and then check tumblr and kick my feet for a few minutes and then ramble in text for 15 minutes#before i play another game LKDFGJLSDFG#so the beautiful adhd mind functions <3 seriously i'm hgaruarhgaeurghae surrounded by love. feeling it today#tangentially related but i'm also feeling INSANE /pos so i need to channel that into Dont Let it Reach the Heart before i focus on the next#comic i'm working on#biting and tearing#i WILL publish a fic and i will be brave about it
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ok but fr marking undergrad essays is such a rollercoaster#i gave two very high marks today and was genuinely impressed and then the next three i marked were practically incoherent#one just copy and pasted their intro instead of writing a conclusion. like it's verbatim the same paragraph#i dont mark down for minor grammar and syntax errors because there's a high rate of ESL students...#... but some of the papers from native english speakers have me more concerned about functional illiteracy than I've ever been#these are 19-20yos in a humanities field at a top university! even the highest scoring essay had basic basic grammar errors and vocab misuse#at least i could tell what the student was trying to say there but some of the others...#if your punctuation and spelling and syntax are all so bad that i literally cant tell what you're trying to say there is a serious problem#even setting aside how many errors like these there were there's the flip side of the issue: actually writing an essay#the last one i marked yesterday had no structure or thesis or secondary sources#everything between the intro and conclusion was the same claim phrased in different ways with some irrelevant non sequitur quotes thrown in#no analysis other than the words 'analysis of this shows' which is *gasp* not a substitute for analysis#OH AND OMG#one made a direct claim about a figure's political stance and attached a footnote. i went to see what the student's source was.#the footnote literally said something like 'i know i should have a source here but it's only context and i don't want to waste my word count#like what???? do you think claims about relevant context don't need evidence??? and the audacity to not give a citation...#... and claim it's because it would take too many words away from your main argument??#just providing the actual citation for the claim would have been 3-5 words max but the footnote about not having room was 30 words#kid do you think i can't tell that you dont have that citation? do you think anyone's buying that you didn't include it to save space?#it's the very first footnote and most of the others are full-length bibliography entries jammed into the footnotes (which we don't require)#so either you were 'worried about space' at the first footnote then changed your mind as you wasted 250 words on unnecessary formatting#or you were over the word limit and were like 'gotta cut something!' and the only footnote you 'simplified for space' was a short basic one#^assuming i believed you. which i dont. because why would you think that would fool anyone.#i still have half the essays left. im tired and so disappointed in how little we're told we should expect from them
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been chanting this like a spell
#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#the blue one is not here but like. thats the tag i guess iddunno#this is a little old. wait nevermind its from oct28 thats not that old.#i thought i drreew this like. months ago. time is not real. its been a long time and no time at all at the same time#like last week was nov 1 and today its the 30th or it might as well be like!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHERE DID THE LAST QUARTER OF THE YEAR GO THIS SHIT SUCKS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY I'VE BEEN CHANTING THIS IN MY HEAD FOR WEEKS#my head is so empty and i drank coffee without eating so its been hurting for hours. i already ate TWICE#BODY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME>??????#anyway. this weekend i believe? my friend from class wants to play monster hunter world#he's trying to hunt anjanath cause he says its hard and it needs to do#i remember when anjanath was hard........#i tried to fight a fulgar anjanath the other day outside of an assignment though and it ended up leaving locale right when it was dying#i probably took too long cause they keep changing the goddamn controls. a couple days before i went back to world i was on rise#and the glaive controls different there with the wirebugs and shit#and then you get to world and no bug but the big boi on your arm. i love you glaive bug!!!!!!#and then before that i was playing the wilds beta which played oaky to me idk my graphics were shit so if things were floaty#i dont know. it looked like i was playing without my glasses. but the controls were fun.#BUT WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT I RAN THROUGH THREE DIFFERENT CONTROL SCHEMES CAPCOM YOU AS A COMPANY#NEED TO BE ARRESTED THREE DIFFERENT CONTROL SCHEMES. maybe there isa button remap function im missing#if so im still not gonna use it im just gonna suffer
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
The way I have not written a single word for like a month it feels like I have been busier in the last two weeks than I have been in the last four years of my life and will continue to be busy for the next two weeks I got one day between a four day family trip and a sib visit gotta sew a monkey during the trip and if monkie kid drops in that time I will simply combust
#knox rambles#ill definitely be offline for a bit WHEEZE#To be clear im having a good time overwhelmed but in a good way?#reconnected with someone i havent been able to get in contact with for like four years and hangout at their house twice before heading#straight to bake cookies after baking cinnamon rolls that morning--#my brian is scattered but this is good new experiences good folks good for the brain#sniffs i need to ahem ahem write ive been thinking about wobbly hearts nonstop and havent been able to write a single word wheezing#unsure if thats from being busy or being in a block#YEAH HI IM RAMBLING BUT IM NOT DEAD AND IMA BE OFFLINE FOR A BIT LONGER#eyeing up an ipad still for drawin#sewing and reading a book my reconnected-with cousin lent me#I FORGOT TO CUT MY HAIRJDJDJDNG#I MEANT TO DO THAT TODAY SHOOT#.#welp i am functioning sort of mostly#i swear#i made a phonecall today#i even made a sandwich#yes it was after opening every cupboard and fridge door eight times throughout the day and only made it bc my bro was making one BUT STILL#and yes i spent five hours procrastinating just putting stuff in my bag that i already had folded but its FIIIIIINNEEEEE#im functional and my best friend definitely did not call me today just to tell me to book an appointment to ask for an adhd diagnoses noooo#almost forgot to hit post cause i got distracted watching wander over yonder heyyyyyyyyyyy#ANYWAY LEAVING FIRST THING TOMOROW GN
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the other thing that makes this ep not quite "work" is it isn't... i don't know, it must be aware of this, but it feels like it isn't aware of The Metaphor the alien plot is doing / saying about our main characters, and it doesn't take a second to truly show that to them. It is showing the chuldur stealing people's identities and doing some good ol' ~disaster tourism~, it tells us what they are doing is wrong, we're expected to be shocked and appalled by what they've done to ruby. but then there's not really a beat about how the doctor and co do the same thing every day (going to other times and taking the piss out of other ppl's histories / lives, then going off). and in the end even the contemporary human ruby "befriends" turns out to be a chuldur as well. so there's not a single regular human character developed in this.
then there's the whole proposal scene where the doctor and rogue "act" as well during that whole thing, which don't get me wrong was fun as hell, was a thrill to see them play w/ their prejudices, and as I said in my post the dialogue was very meaty for their particular characters.... but on the area of *theme* for this *episode*.... they're just doing the same thing as the chuldur. it feels like no one cares about all the people that are being murdered around them (nor the writers, who don't develop them), just their own fun.
and like the thing with doctor who episodes is, it's not enough to have a high body count, for it to be shocking.... you have to actually give those characters you kill a bit of depth/humanity/relatability, for the death to actually mean anything. ex: in end of the world, bc they show us the blue plumber and rose connecting for 1 little scene, we do actually care about her being murdered by the mini-war of the worlds robots, and care about what cassandra is doing. like the episode says "isn't the chuldur horrific? they are taking actual human beings as set dressing for their fun / entertainment!!" but then... the writing does the same thing by not giving death any kind of gravity / weight.
basically it feels like this B plot of the aliens wasn't properly aligned with the A plot of the rogue and doctor romancing. it works on its own (mostly, tho I still feel there's an element of depth missing in rogue)... but not with all the other aspects. which sucks bc the episode had all the ingredients to truly Bring It Home.
#dw spoilers#rogue#dw meta#fifteenth doctor#and also it's like. dslkjf how do i word this#this just really needed a scene like in the unquiet death#where gwen's gran gran gran mother is like 'actually fuck you rose. im not stupid' or a similar beat like tooth and claw#bc yeah it's funny and vindicating to us *today* to see 15 and rogue play the crowd's prejudice#and it's very meta how that reflects how the larger audience will react to the dance scene and how it functions#(missing everything that's rlly going on in it bc it's a 'scandal')#but again it's like....... even with prejudice and awful attitudes#imo u have to show those character's pov and humanity#rather than show all humans as like a uniform wallpaper#again..... as a backstage to our main character's drama........#which is what the chuldur plot was supposedly condoning sdlkfjsdklj
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Brb gotta just yell into the void
#GOD IM JUST#so both Q and I were under the impression we would be getting help fixing the place#almost a full week later#it’s basically just been me his elderly grandma and him when hes not working#which is very little time since he’s full time#I have been working on this place from basically sunrise to sunset#doing what I can to make it clean and repaint#but I can’t do most repairs#mainly what the bathroom needs#but today#ooooooo today#Q’s parents are getting on our nerves man#we’ve been trying to explain that the bathroom is not functional in it’s current state#and instead of Q’s father#the landlord of this place who decided keeping it while living two and a half hours away was a smart idea#helping to fix said bathroom#says he’d rather work on the living room floor which is the lowest priority#and when we expressed this to them#his mother goes#if you don’t like it you can go live somewhere else#EXCUSE ME#I have literally been spending all the time I can trying to fix up YOUR place for you two#to the point where I am now coming down with a cold and my lowing back is killing me#where Q is sacrificing every free moment he has trying to do what he can while working a full time job#and THIS is the thanks we get???????#what the hell#anyway they’re coming tomorrow but Q has work so I am going to cry#I am so exhausted and stressed if they pull some shit I might just do something I shouldn’t#I want this to be over#the second were able to afford a house we’re getting the hell out of here
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when my disability disables me:
#heds#ehlers danlos syndrome#hypermobile eds#hypermobile ehlers danlos#today i'm feeling kvetchy about not being able to run (or even walk fast sometimes) because inflating my lungs takes so much effort#and the pulmonologist said i have vocal cord dysfunction which doesn't fit my symptoms and then didn't fix the insurance thing that#he said he'd fix#so i'm kinda just stuck until i can get another pulmonologist which is hard cuz there aren't a lot in my area and wait times are eons#and even then most don't know jack about hEDS bc why would they it's a rare disease but then they aren't helpful bc they don't know jack#about the rare disease that is probably the root cause of my symptoms#and being dizzy when i stand up or tilt my head back too far and not tolerating heat the way i used to also sucks thanks POTS#at least i don't faint all the time?#and i never can tell if i'm hungry or not because acid reflux makes me feel like i'm starving when i just ate and other times like i'm full#when i haven't eaten. so i can't trust my hunger cues which is really irritating. and Tums don't help my acid#i can't just keep doing prilosec courses. i need to see a GI doc maybe they could do something but there's no time#and none of this is gonna kill me and i can still function it's just so tiring always having something hurting or gross or hungry#espec. when to other people i look like i should be able to do it all just fine so they're shocked when a flight of stairs winds me#i'm young and should-be healthy and this is unfair and i hate it and i wish my body worked right but i have it better than plenty of ppl#so really i can't complain
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
No one:
Me when the plans change:
#i camt fucking do this!! i am autistic !!#please ;-; i can do so much i can function so well in the right environment if you just TELL ME THE PLAN#in advance#i need time to process the new information#genuinely its so upsetting and for what? i thought i was going shopping today and i dont even WANT to go shopping#and yet the change of plans is freaking me out i feel like im gonna cry#and it makes me suddenly so depressed for some reason#idk what to do with myself
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
”You can tell us. We’re your parents. You can tell us even if it’s bad. We’ll listen. We love you. We’re adults so we need to talk like adults.”
aha ahahaha how about no? If you find out I’m an apostate I know you’re gonna raid my room and destroy my belongings; and even if what you say IS true, I still don’t trust you from the last time you said those things lmfao
My stuff isn’t out of the house so I’m not gonna fucking tell you lmao
#exjw#pimo#apostate#It’s scary how calm and calculated I can get in extremely tense situations#There’s just an overwhelming sense of “this isn’t happening to me right now” and I very carefully weigh every option on the spot#and come up with snap responses to answers which seem plausible if I need to lie#It’s like I shut down and only necessary functions are performed#I thought about telling them everything and I almost did; but I wasn’t about to have that conversation today#No one was in the right mindset and I wasn’t in a sufficient amount of control#almost… but not quite
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
8 notes
·
View notes