#but like me personally about /myself/. id have to kill myself.

[nuyhado3o]

Maybe cupid won't miss

Salesman x fem!reader

Angst, 836 words

Warnings: *sigh* non-con, m*rdrer, implied kidnapping, genuinely sick, cannibalism, salesman is a complete psycho, manipulation, DDDNE

.

.

.

.

Living in Seoul was boring, frankly annoying. The men were creepy, very creepy. It's not like you lived in a nice neighborhood either, not as if you could pay for a nicer house anyways.

You work so hard, and what do you get repayed? Late working hours, coming home at 11pm? Sadly, yeah, although if you had it your way you probably wouldn't change it. I mean, that's what you get, for not finishing school and all. Kinda depressing but realistic.

While basically sleepwalking, you haven't even realized the man walking towards you.

,,My bad, sorry" you wished it would've ended there, tired and hungry you just wanted to go home.

You never got to your front door though.

Well, it would've ended there if the man, who looked slightly ascrew, didn't insist on you playing a game with him.

,,I'm gonna be honest with you man, I'm so tired id gamble all my money off on you" his face grew impatient, ,,not that I have any" not caring about his age or authority.

,,Wouldn't such a lady your age like a new bag, or a new house even, you're too pretty to stay in this lower class hell"

Instinctly backing away and starting to walk in a random direction, hoping he'll give up, he obviously didn't.

,,Miss please wait!" He ran after you.

Jesus christ is this dude on acid or what?

,,what. -you said bluntly, what do you want from me, at this time in the night, I don't want to play your games"

He grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you closer to him, instantly you started to try and shimmy out of his grasp.

,,Listen lady if I don't get this, if I don't get you to play this, I'm going to shoot myself"

You stopped. Stared at him with wide eyes.

Kill himself? Because of a game? He's an asshole but if this means so much to him I'll do it.

,, I'll do it, only if you leave me alone after"

,,no promises"

Whatever the fuck that mea-

Waking up, it's dark, it took you a few seconds to understand your situation.

You're tied up, you're half naked, you laying there, where? You don't know, the dark is so consuming you're not even sure if you're conscious yet, it's so cold you don't even know if you're in a house or outside.

You didn't see the door open, ofcourse you didn't, how could you, you've been nothing but useless and if the situation you think is happening, it's guaranteed no one will ever wonder where your face went.

,,Sir what are you doing?

-shut the fuck up

His tone is dominant, making you forget why you even opened your mouth, blunt and sharp like a knife.

Or like a gun,

,,I can't tell what you think about me, but you're so beautiful, we're both dying anyways so you better fucking love me"

Your trying, you're really trying to move or, or just make yourself believe that you're here, not watching a movie in 1st person.

He's been talking but you haven't been listening

,,but all I really want is a kiss on the cheek, I don't ask for much! Your heart is literally what I want for lunch"

He sounded psychotic, he sounded sick, you knew your voice will never be heard so, you stopped trying.

Standing up, walking away, you relaxed.

,, you truly made my day, do you watch movies?"

He came back closer to you

,,do you?"

You slightly nodded, not knowing anything about cinema

Hmph.,nod

He came closer, took off your shirt, slowly, you thought you knew what was coming but; in reality it was so much worse than you thought.

Once you were bare, he took your hand, gracefully dragged it across his face, you though he was just being wierd but

*crack*

You saw yourself, faintly, kind of an angelic white in the air, as opposed to the dark black you saw just minutes ago.

But there you were, well half of you, draped across his body laying in the same place as you just were.

Youre forced to watch, he's violating you, in every way the word can be defined, you hear him whisper,

,,you're my lady, you taste so good"

,,such a pleasure for this to be the last thing I see"

He's fully talking to himself, or rather your dead body.

,,you're wishing you would've said yes now, don't you? Or maybe ran away."

He chuckled, he chuckled at himself.

You couldn't help but let your mind wonder to a time when your life wasn't this, half eaten, half dead.

Something snapped in him, instead of his easygoing way just a second ago, he looks in your dead eyes and yells

,, fuck you want from me? Why the fuck are you lookin at me like that."

As if he doesn't know.

*Open the goddamn door! We have you surrounded, motherfucker*

,,fuck it, Blaow"

A/n: hii......hello....hope you don't hate me now....so erm this was heavily inspired by Sarah by Tyler the creator, idk what drove me to write this but yeah🤷‍♀️ first and probably last time writing this kinda shit. REQUEST MORE NORMAL STUFF PLEASE IM IN NEED !!!!

[chasedeys]

oh em gee im a ravens fan 😞💔. i also adore lamar …would love to hear your thoughts on lamar/derrick and/or lamar/kyle 🤗🤗

ALSJDJSJ HELLOOO 😭😭 first of all sorrows sorrows prayers 💔 and like. slight apologies did my sudden rooting for the ravens bc the lions booked it (sorrows sorrows prayers also 😔….apologies did my sudden rooting for the lions—😭) bring you shit luck like. how the fuck... BUT ANYWAYS BRINGING JOYYYY with some rpf talk akhdskjs wow brought this upon myself i dont really like know much abt the ravens ship wise argrhgrh like i don’t think anybody has asked me any ship outside of the bengals?? outside of joemarr really 😭 like no one has even asked me abt jjkoc whom i adore and bring up constantly even on asks abt joemarr?? 😭 (EDIT: THANK YOU CASEY AND CHRISNOELIE WHO HAVE LITERALLY JUST SENT ASKS 😭😭❤️) that’s such a shame (to be fair i dont really. know that many ships or show. that i like ship that many either lmao) 😔 OH WELL OKAY USING THIS LIKE. FOR MY PORTFOLIO what fucking portfolioaksjsksksk yapped abt any ship of my own volition am actually sweating a bit at this bc like. i dont actually?? know them??? so this is mostly like from Vibes ive seen from clips of them floating around here and twt and ig that have spurred the Fire in me to just. See Shit. do you get me.

bengals mutuals who are sensitive abt ravens pls look away 🫶 and like don’t block me aksjsksk let me rpf in peace i beg 😭 i just see pretty men with chemistry and i want to see them kiss 😔

AUGH prefacing this with like. the only thing ive actually written shippy wise abt the ravens is that one lamar/ja’marr thing im actually so fucking fond offfff in that shippy rpf list thing i did way back oh that led that one ask i got damn wait i actually have gotten an ask outside of joemarr like that frock and also on lamar/ja’marr!!!!! god i should do that thing again akhdksjs ANYWAYS SORRY MOVING ON (wait no. lamar/ja’marr. still so enamored. sorry. it’s the ja’marr truther in me i fear.)

disclaimer my characterization (???? for rpf?????) of them may be skewed???? because like. i haven’t been as deep into their lore as i am with joemarr and the bengals. and like their history isn’t as deeply documented here as joemarrs is lol. i follow. 2 people tops including you who are ravens fans. several others with running back adoration shining through too so. like. keep that in mind 😭

DERRICK LAMAR HERE WE GOOOOO FUCKKKKK do you know. how fucking enamored i am. that derrick has been so fucking steadfast in his defense of lamar as a quarterback. he’s so. all his tweets. all his quotes. oh my godddd. he’s soooooo. he came to fucking ravens because lamar is the fucking quarterback???? all those clapbacks he did saying lamar is his qb????? i don’t actually recall all his tweets sorry are they tweets wow but like. all i remember are just. vibes. and those vibes are just. him basically saying. fuck you i know what im all about and that’s lamar fucking jackson keep his name out of your mouth. thats hot as shitttttt are you kidding me 😭😭 and he’s gorgeous. fucking beautiful. he’s fucking huge and downright shameless about it. he wears his tops like they’re a suggestion rather than a necessity. i think he’d rather wear crop tops on the daily actually. we should start petitioning nfl uni changes to like. crop tops. see through pads too. he’d be overjoyed, i think. i’d be overjoyed. also.

and lamar’s like. murder in his mind but also fucking hilarious this man in the playoffs talking abt how he’s here to compete not be friends with other qbs or something like that idk i forgot whatever it is he said that one presser abt josh? (?) but just like. one track minded (understandable btw something to prove being mvp however many times and yet. always falling short in the playoffs. just. yikes. for him. god. i feel so terrible for him 😬) but also. the entire beyonce thing 😭 hilarious. the christmas thing where he kind of disappeared?? where the hell was he 😭 what was that hard knocks ep akdhsksk i forgot and like his presser clips that sometimes pop byyyy hes cute idc idc but like sorry if im jumping here and there here back to derrick a bit so i can lead back to lamar -> derricks super chill? or well. he’s sooooo sure of himself. hes 31. 8 years itl nothing rattles him. he knows what he wants. immovable. doesn’t quake that easy. but like stressing again: knows what he wants. pro bowl? sure. ravens because the quarterbacks lamar jackson? sure. like it doesn’t really take much to rattle him yk?? like as far as i can seeee auagahagh i don’t really see many clips of himmm though i did see him dance with zay i think?? cuteeeee whimsy showing up when urged with all these new guys he’s getting comfy with!!! and alsoooo ive seen him hype the ever living shittttt out of saquon!!! that’s some cute shit. signing into the ravens with some lowballed contract too i think?? says something abt him!! idk chill is a word id use abt him. his reaction to the probowl is still so fucking 😭 but again, knows what he wants. which: lamar. who, again: one track minded, gets incredibly shitty jokey jokes at the most random of times, mentions his mother cussing him out shamelessly, jokes about going out to see beyonce during halftime, cannot help himself mentioning a meme from a reporters name, etc etc and also. gives me the vibes of. not really catching anyone putting down any moves on him. because he thinks they’re just appreciating his quarterbacking. and derricks reallyyyyyyy good at that. hyping the everliving shittttt out of him. praising him on all platforms and straight to his face. from day one. coming into the ravens bc hes the qb. outright saying that so he knows exactly what to expect from derrick and what to do to level up to him. so like. super cute to think of derrick asking him out and lamar just. not clicking 😭 and lamar praising him right back toooooo 😭 all his shit being super technical while derricks just waiting. to be wooed back. because he’s thinking like. oh lamars pretty smart yk he knows what derrick wants and has been doing no way he doesn’t and he’s so fucking sure of himself no way lamar isn’t wanting him back but lamar isn’t fucking doing anythinggggg. he’s just. being a really good teammate. derrick hasn’t heard a single actual flirtatious thing that isn’t like. you’re really good at football that’s such a sexy run and he’s all that winona ryder confused math meme trying to think if that’s an actual pick up line but he’s seen lamar flirt in clubs to get better seats or better shelved drinks if the bartender doesnt recognize them damn it when the fuck is he getting the full experience. until it slowly dawns on him he doesn’t fucking realize that derrick has been outright fucking flirting with him. WHICH leads tooo a bit of lamar/kyle which is like only because of that one clip aksfaksl wait okay THIS IS A MESS UGH SORRY ->

lamar/kyle!!! i know not much about them tbh!!! just that kyle is fucking gorgeousssssssss and lamar is toooooo oh my god. oh my god that one clip. that one fucking clip. of kyle coming up to lamar. and back hugging him. wait let me fucking find it auagahsgsu IS THAT NOT THE CUTEST SHIT????? i am superrrrr into this dynamic of like. heavy devotion into your quarterback because of how fucking GOOD they are. like. tell me that entire fucking team isn’t the least bit besotted with lamar fucking jackson. (i have like. the slightest clue of the ravens roster tbh. sorry. i do the same shit with like. joe. all those boys. enamored with him. because he's so fucking good. argrhgrhh. see also: bryce lol) but that fucking clipppp the casual intimacyyyy the casual mindless way kyle trots to lamar talking to the coaches and slaps at his shoulder and decides to just latch on to him locking his wrists??? the hell is he doing??? CUTE. ARGHRGH. i didnt even know he moved this way btw 😭😭 and lamar's hands coming up to fumble distractedly at kyles wrists like did he even know. who that was. he didnt even really break a stride with his convo and no. 53 didnt even look at kyle weird?? do his guys usually just latch on to him like this. that's so cute the hell. i need to know more. do they do this often. hello. talk to me do they just latch on to him this often hello. hello. how many of his guys just have like. puppy crush on him. because this is what this is to me lmao like. a little hero worship. lamars ass doesn't see what this is 😭 he's fucking oblivious. (god you gotta tell me if I'm like reaching or off my fucking rockers or however the saying goes btw like again i got this out of Vibes) -> AND BACK TO DERRICK WHO SEES THIS ->

a little derrick seeing this from the corner of his eye. a little nudge to lamars belly. a little smirk. a little 'what he likes you?' 'what' 'what' 'what do you mean what' 'oh i see you’re a little dumb on things like this thats okay' 'on things like what what do you mean' 'its fine hey were still on this friday right' 'what yeah that fancy place on so so street right why is it so important that i wear a black tie anyway' 'because its supposed to be a date you dumbass god i really do have to spell it out for you' 'what' 'what what' '….what' AUAGHAHDHS CUTE CUTE no really you gotta tell me is my characterization right 😭 like. is it. help me. derrick seems so fucking sure of himself and like so fucking into lamar and lamar is like right back at derrick but!! well i guess for narratives sake im making it seem like lamars fucking oblivious lmaooo so. well.

hence -> yes next friday is a romantic formal dinner date lamar jackson. yes i am asking you out for an actual dinner date. as a romantic partner. that might end the night in making out. and sex, even, if you put out on, like, the sixth date if you actually realize that that's the sixth date—yes, that will be the sixth date, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. no, i won’t slow down, don’t run away. no yes of course you've never run away from something once in your life. yes, we can kiss now, c'mere. 

and do not. get me started. on all of lamar’s fucking reaction. to derrick’s running. and also i think i saw an interview clip of derrick calling lamar L………did i hallucinate that...............also the locker room pics 😭😭 girl derrick pull down your fucking jersey oh my godddd why is he like this why are there so many fucking pics of them just side by side or like shaking?? hands??? idk just in the presence of each other and is it the mandela effect why do i keep recalling him with his tummy out. (vs demure ass lamar covered head to toe idk i feel like i constantly see him in full gear?? is he like easily cold or like is that a stylistic choice or like. is that the norm with him or. like. am i just used to him wearing a shiesty during winter.)

apologies if this is like. more of a mess than my usual answer to asks 😔 whole other ship more unknown to me and like. typed this in my phone instead of on my laptop. answered in between classes which is where i am at life now apparently damn it is that the status quo now fuckjddkjsksksks

also shot myself in the foooottttt lmaoooo complaining abt not getting any jjkoc asks 😭 thank you for sending me asks i am ECSTATICCCCCC to be answering those but damn. when the fuck am i finishing this class 😃 SORRY FOR CONSTANTLY COMPLAINING ABOUT IT BTW SOMEWHERE EVERYWHERE IN THIS BLOG BUT LIKE. FUCK IS THIS SHITTTTT AUGHGUGHUGHUGHUGH abt to kms

[picklesinabottle]

I think I would blame odysseus less if his reasoning was more "you are the ones who killed the cow when I specifically told you not to" or even "you all literally stabbed me" but it's just. Not that. And I don't think it's supposed to be? Like sure, they could be considered factors in his decision but when it comes down to it, it's really all about penelope

[autistic-katara]

icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

[skitskatdacat63]

I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

[iqmmir]

Night

[ratmans-notebooks]

anger issues and suicidal ideation cant fucking TOUCH me dude💪

[avatardoggo]

when you meet a Guy and he is 99.9% perfection but the Holy Spirit says no

[danielnelsen]

About DA Legends: I couldn't confirm this but I read that one ending boon in Origins sets up a new Circle in West Hill, and that's the Jainen Circle.

ok this has been in my inbox for 3 months because i never got round to checking this, but im currently going through dialogue files for an unrelated reason and got reminded of this

if the warden dies and they're a mage, alistair/anora will say the following:

I wish to see the Circle restored. However, I understand that the Veil at the tower is too weak. That being the case, I wish a new tower built--with the Chantry's aid. And it will bear the Hero's name.

there's nothing to say it's in west hill (unless that's mentioned in some other media), although jainen is in the waking sea bannorn anyway (but likely off the coast of the west hill bannorn, so it's close)

that said, this is absolutely a contender for the jainen circle. id say it's completely unintended, but im gonna accept it because that's just what you've gotta do with legends lore

[wawek]

I say this often but its crazy how much of a vortex depression is.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

there's something deeply wrong with me

[viderose]

he’s annoying, i don’t like him (he hasn’t given me as much attention lately)

[anotherpapercut]

I'm really fucking terrified of quitting my job. kind of fucking awful how being jobless even briefly can be utterly catastrophic

[romanticviolence]

Fuck fucking fucking fukc fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[booblywooblies]

why are my suicidal ideations not as important as my actual threat of suicide

why has no one ever tried to fix me, i cant fix myself why am i not better off dead and out of everyones hair. i feel like people are too dramatic about what itd do to them. like, youll fucking get over it.