#and i do a lot of processing on here. then theres the posts about ykw. it killed me seeing the posts that i saw about him so i dont want to
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Fuck fucking fucking fukc fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
#somebody shoot me in the foot before i DO IT MYSELF#im kidding. im fine. im not immensely stressed out right now. for absolutely no reason. other than a sick dog and sleep deprivation.#im not fighting the incredibly strong urge to cry#WHAT NOOO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#IM NOT#hah#this really is like a diary for me.#i know yall aint reading 😭#but its nice to think maybe one or two people somewhere out there maybe know my struggle and listen to my incoherent ramblings#basically just dont have mutuals at all anymore#i know i am speaking to the void as it were#i say stuff like 'i dont know if you'll read these posts' but its like i know. ik. ikikikik. you arent watching. you arent reading.#not because you dont care#but bc you have shit to work through too#and for probably similar reasons that im not looking at your profiles you also arent looking at mine#also i dont want you to see this truly#i think if i did i would probably send it to you cause we both know im kind of pathetic that way. plus ive said some hurtful things#about you on this blog in the past few weeks#because ITS LITERALLY LIKE MY DIARY#and i do a lot of processing on here. then theres the posts about ykw. it killed me seeing the posts that i saw about him so i dont want to#assume you just wouldnt feel anything similar. maybe not same but similar#so#so ultimately i think id rather you dont see the personal posts on this blog#if only for the sake of your own mental state bc i know how you are and how you drive yourself crazy and i dont want that#jorden speaks#not nsft#delete tag#maybe?#idk this one feels kinda raw
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