tortellinisposts
i’m literally batman
1K posts
I’m torrent. they/he. I wish mitski was my parent.
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tortellinisposts · 1 day ago
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Teen dad Bruce(19y.o.) and Dick (8 y.o.) is my favorite thing
Bruce still being in College (med student) and deciding to adopt Dick just cause he can.Alfred is tired of the utter chaos these two bring Their dynamic is more like the Lego Batman movie more than anything honestly (they mean so much to meee)
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tortellinisposts · 10 days ago
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Because I feel like kids of color don’t hear it enough: domestic abuse is not a part of your culture. 
A lot of us were raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families. 
If you’re in a situation where you are enduring abuse and people use your culture to justify it, I want you to know that what they’re telling you are lies.
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tortellinisposts · 18 days ago
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After Jason returns as Red Hood, immediately after his identity is revealed to Dick
Jason: Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.
Dick: *sobbing*
Jason: Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.
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tortellinisposts · 21 days ago
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I definitely feel like Jason can cry on cue and it’s so damn realistic it’s Oscar worthy. He did it all the time as Robin, and it worked phenomenally on Bruce even when he knew most time it was ruse. Not so much Alfred after he figured out his little trick and would publish him w/ chores for it. Eventually he grew out of it, but he still could do it on command. So imagine years after his death and resurrection, he just pulls out all the stops when he wants to manipulate his siblings into doing something for him. They are instantly stunned when this 6’5 boulder of a man eyes begin to water and his knees buckle as he’s begging them to help him. He could ask them to commit literal crimes against humanity and you better believe they are rushing and throwing all morals out the window to get Jason to stop crying.
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tortellinisposts · 22 days ago
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the cowl really does stay on during sex….
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tortellinisposts · 22 days ago
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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Tim: When I was small-
Jason: *laughs*
Tim: What?
Jason: 'Was'.
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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Bruce: There's only one thing worse than dying.
Bruce: *rips off paper to reveal the words 'Robin dying'*
All the robins: Me.
Bruce: No-
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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The best part about DC canon being a sandbox is that you can combine different parts of different timelines into your Frankenstein ideal just to give Bruce Wayne more gray hairs
Observe
Bruce: Dick you know you’re 26 you can’t keep working as a gymnastics instructor on a volunteer basis you need a career.
Dick who has been working as a lawyer in nyc for 3 years now: hmmm yeah you’re totally right B maybe I’ll take some classes
Bruce: Tim you need to get your GED, I cannot allow you to give up on education at highschool.
Tim who got into ivy university and has been zeta-ing back and forth: …hmmm maybe I’m kinda busy
Bruce: I have no idea what Jason does in the day
Jason catholic priest Todd: … yeah I got nothing
-this shitpost was brought to you solely to remind everyone that JASON TODD WAS A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN ANOTHER DIMENSION THANK YOU
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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A DRAW I MADE IN CLASS TEHEH
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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Every year during the Olympics Jason calls Dick and it's just
Jason:..
Dick:..I-
Jason: THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU!! And what did you do instead?
Dick: I became a cop 😔
Jason: YOU BECAME A COP!!!
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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the front seat of the car is a type of confessional
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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can’t tell if dick looks like markiplier or logan lerman
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Bonus:
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tortellinisposts · 1 month ago
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I saw a post saying something like; Jason doing a whole magical girl transformation just to use a totally normal gun. Love the idea, hasn't left my mind since 💀✋
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