#but ive been working on her for 2 years
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debating uploading some of my old music projects here 🕺
#indigo speaks#i produce/produced music before!#tis a fixation that comes and goes#id also be probably posting audio tests once stamps is done/laughingstock if i do that one (carnivalcarrion if youre reading this hi)#i really want to talk about my project WINDSTORM but alas😢#i am too scared to#but ive been working on her for 2 years#shes my pride and joy#i hope one day for you all to meet the wonderful cast
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how do lighting and shading work
#ok so remember that tag on my last post where i said i didnt feel like drawing drones#i lied the motivation to do it manifested out of literally nowhere#i saw the quote written down and knew i had to do something with j and tessa#just colored and whatchamacallit'd the first panel cause i felt like it#ive been trying to figure out how lighting and all that works#cause ive been focusing on like. exclusively lineart for the past 2 years#my skills at the other parts of art are kinda lagging behind#second panel was drawn in like 5 minutes cause i wanted to use the second half of the quote#dont think too hard about the implications of the scenario just roll with it#im slightly improving at drawing j#stupid haircut is so difficult to stylize for No Reason but i think i got a handle on it#for now#the first panel is looking off the more i look at it so im going to stop doing that and wrap this up#art#murder drones#murder drones j#serial designation j#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#crowzi#im including that one#flesha technically#cynessa#whatever you wanna call her#tesscyn#shes got too many names
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green
#my art#free! iwatobi swim club#free! eternal summer#free! dive to the future#free! fanart#free!#makoto tachibana#yamazaki sousuke#hiyori tono#im DONe oh my god i didnt think i could do it#looks at date what do u meAN these only took a week i feel like ive aged 30 years working on these#makoto took the longest by far like th angle the water the FISH shoutout to the blur tool fr i would die without her#also let me tell u a story. the entire time i was working on makoto and hiyori i STILL had no internet#so not only was i fighting the csp offline usage limit i also couldnt download any new brushes so guess who rawdogged the willow and kelp#nothin but a bamboo leaf brush a flat chisel and a dream#these r easily the most in-depth backgrounds ive tackled in a While and i honestly think they turned out rly well all things considered#makoto has 2 b my fav for obvious reasons but as a set i think they r all very strong and cohesive im so !!! pats self on back#sousuke tho is sadly th latest instalment of hina refuses to learn csp perspective tool.. dont look at my diagonals dont LOOK at them >:(((#it's always more apparent w indoor settings sighs gomen sousuke at least u look great in the patient gown :'> resident hospital hottie#ANYWAY ever since tht one free!/colour theory post i have been rotating these three in my head nonstop they make me in sain#so this is my take on them and green this is my love letter to the right hand men of the free cast#and hiyori /j#i jest he's grown on me he has male manipulated his way up from the bottom tier i have been charmed by his petty instigator tendencies#this is what happened to ikuya kirishima hashtag never forget
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First • Prev • Next • Usernames • Masterlist
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dani phantom#jazz fenton#sam manson#fake twt#fake tweets#birdy tweets#yo do Not look up that web url- its fake#source: i Made it The Fuck Up#this isnt an arg- i dont know if that actually leads anywhere#it shouldnt but be careful you know?#danny and dani legit 1) planned to bite a billionaire on twitter and 2) bit him leaving work so the most people possible would see#jazz approved- no one could stop them#its been awhile since ive done one of these#i actually moved halfway across the county back home#its all good less depresso more espresso#not really i have negative money to buy coffee with#i had to ask MY MOM for gas money#didnt feel great about that one bois#but ive got a bunch of interviews lined up! so hopefully i can pay her back sometime before Another New Year begins
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wow hanana how come you get 3 bodyguards (designs inspired and taken from @occasionalshuraracorps)
#sgt frog#keroro gunso#hanana#yukiki#mekeke#putata#shurara corps#i drew 2 days in a row what.#this is mostly a doodle. but i worked on it a bunch. said in the words of a 20s starlet in her 50s i still got it#anyway. its choccymilkys art blog. grins.#apparently all it took to get me out of art block was ur space frogs.#ive been unwell abt them for years but just now drew them for the first time
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chinamatsu old image dump (If the style changes drastically within these, its because theyre from a long span of time)
^Not the finished version of this comic. I lost the finished version. Which seems to have happened more often than not with comics specifically.
Also, I often used their Chinese names, but I guess for this comic I had decided not to...?
#chinamatsu is one of my favorite aus ive been crazy about it for years....... i will do so many things with it its crazy#sub aus of aus. so fun#but i do especially love modern age au chinamatsu. because i love modern china and i work with kids.#osomatsu-san#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#osomatsu#karamatsu#choromatsu#ichimatsu#jyushimatsu#todomatsu#my art#chinamatsu#sorry about long post. ill tag that too.#long post#im really fond of this stuff........#simultaneously im a little shy.#also one of these images has yokais in it. funny.#i also have another version of the apartment where theyre wearing the modern clothes instead of the hkw clothes but this post is long enoug#anyway duansongs favorite game at the ripe age of 2 or whatever is 'get away from jiejie and go back in the restaurant and san gege gets#angry and puts her back outside. and you repeat. its very fun for her
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see you people at ANW i mostly got her done in time 😏
#ive been working on this suit/planning it for like over a year lol#most of the work has been done in the past month / 2 weeks but ive spent a stupid amount of money trying to find fur colors i liked for her#i still have to finish up some stuff once i get to the hotel though#soap talks#fursuit making#she is entirely hand sewn because im a pussy who is scared of sewing machines#raine fursuit updates
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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Getting complimented on my cottage-core scrubs by my elderly lesbian patient and her partner today at work was truly a spiritual experience
#like I got three compliments in total and 2 of then were from this couple#I am already so emotional about this patient#she is 87 years old and she is going to die soon but she and her partner are still in love and they still live together#anyways I know I havent posted on this blog for awhile and I apologize#Ive been completely swanped by work and life in general#but this is a reminder that we dont have many queer elders but they do exist#and their love is beautiful#and your queer love is beautiful too#lesbian#lesbians#lgbtq+#i love you lesbians
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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Not doing great right now tbh. Probably proven by the fact that I got cut off by the tag limit. Fun fun fun fun fun.
#i think general stress is getting to me#so i guess I'll just make a list of everything that's on my mind like i usually do#doubt it'll make much of a difference but it's routine atp#first of all#there's a class that I'm pretty much guaranteed to fail#not much i can do about it at this point#i don't know how much that's gonna fuck me over#so that's scary#secondly my mom is on her bullshit again#istg the next time she says something it's gonna be hard for me not to shout at her#she only ever talks to me for 3 reasons#1. for me to do a “favor” for her (i get yelled at or guilt tripped if i try to say no)#2. to comment on my weight#or 3. to try and pressure me into getting deeper into church stuff#for that last one i don't got enough space on my plate for that shit#im not comfortable with juggling another ball as things are rn#not when all the balls im juggling are starting to deflate#im fucking up enough in all the things im engaged with as is#failing classes. not getting paid enough at work. not doing enough in my social connections. my vehicle is practically falling apart#speaking of that last bit#yeah my vehicle is due for like every maintenance thing besides an oil change#so im gonna have to pull like 500 dollars out of my ass somehow#because my job sure ain't gonna cover that#i get paid 8.25 an hour and i can only work 12 hours a week because of classes and other obligations#I've learned the hard way that making my plate fuller than that destroys me#ive been working at this place for over three years and they can't bother to give me more than a dollar over minimum wage?#so ive gotta find time to job hunt too. but how do i do that when what im doing is already taking all of my energy?#ive gotten to the point where im just kinda on and off pissed off because i don't have the energy for anything else#it feels like anytime i have a moment of reprieve there's always something as well#an errand. a surprise church event. some plan going sideways in like 4 ways. always something
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man living with toxic relatives really is the worst, you come home and you just deal with more bullshit when you should be relaxing
#sil talks.🎤#your girl is losing her mind#everything i do is wrong#ive been told i might be 18 but i have an experience of a highschooler#even tho my aunt literally does not know what i did in turkey and believe me it ain't highschooler lever#and when I ask her something it's always why are you asking me google it#like maam arent you supposed to be this super experienced 50 year old why are you bitching at me when I ask question about a country i just#moved to 2 months ago#like god damnit#i dont know how much of this i can take#and im not even mnetioning her constantly saying “the new generation doesn't want to do anything”#the new generation doesnt know how to use google#the new generation doesn want to work#the future of coorparate america is screwed because the new generation doesn't know how to do anything#WHO RAISED THAT NEW GENERATION?????#YOU#YOU DID#SO STFU#her kids literally don't know how to communicate with other people and when i do something I'm constantly in the wrong lmao#mind you she knows my manager loved me and I'm getting a raise this week#and after i told her she said i have experience of a highschooler and I'm not ready for new york#well i sure as hell ain't gonna be ready for it living with you#god i hate it#ah and also me needing to hide my hips#delete later
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i also think the fact that i had such a stunted and isolated upbringing and now that im an adult all my friends are on atypical life paths (and honestly even my friends as a kid were like this too) means i find things that are usually very common life stages really interesting. like knowing someone who has a house and a wife and 2 kids (with that wife) and a job with a salary feels like meeting fucking paul bunyun to me. or hearing the kids i work with talk about graduating high school and going to college and being on a real path with that stuff is neat? or even sometimes knowing cis/het people who are like going thru that coming of age stuff that i never really experienced the way you see it in the movies bc of transness/queerness/neurodivergence. its like woah they said the name of the thing in the thing. do u know what i mean???
#this actually reminds me of one of the girls at work whose been here for 2 yrs so i feel like im watching her grow up#shes graduating hs this year and shes really smart and she always asks questions like this#like picking ur brain about your life like 'what did you feel like growing up how was your family' etc#its kinda cool#she already got a degree bc of dual credit courses and an internship lined up and im so proud of her#and theres another girl her same age who came to me last night telling me her situationship just broke her heart#and they were both talking all about their prom dresses and all that stuff and were so excited last month#like idk i guess i just find it endearing#i think part of it is also that while these specific paths are thought of as common/default#there really is so much variance in life and really truly so many people not on those paths for so many reasons#which actually does loop around to making it seem strange#like truly how many people do you really know anymore who stayed at 1 job until they rose the ranks#who got married and had kids with that person and now they live in a house in the suburbs with some dogs and cats#like who does that anymore#meanwhile i think its just cool seeing kids actually experiencing growing up but in retrospect and not as a peer feeling confused & jealous#like woah youre a girl buying a dress and getting her hair done and texting a boy thats so wild ive never done that#or woah youre taking courses to prepare for college and know what degree youre going for#i no longer feel resentment that i felt left behind during all that shit when i was a teenager#im just happy for them and proud of them
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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tomodachi life really went off with those bonzi buddy ass voices. win xp type text to speech. all character creation focused games should have this.
#ive been playing it recently! i played a tiny bit a long time ago but i was busy at the time so it wasnt much#but i found that gender removal mod and set it up and it makes it so so so much more enjoyable#of course it cant give us gay marriage because of the way the game works#BUT it makes having to make one a different gender a bit less misgendery which is nice#which is nice cause i made my lookalike type a (male in original text) so i could wear more masc clothes and also not get pregnant#my tiny clone is allowed to get OTHER people pregnant thats okay. but if it got pregnant i would blow the whole island up#also im making various ocs and siren always wears dresses so i made him b (female in original text) so he could <3#if you have specific pairings of characters you want to happen you'll have to do more planning around the 'genders'#but tbh im just letting whatever happens among my ocs happen regardless of their canon relationships. this is a terrarium to me#i'll probably make mickey type a just in case i dooo wanna pair her with su or another woman#i think i'll have fun seeing what kinda crackships of my own ocs arise...#stuff like that. god i need living the dream. i need it on switch1 because im not getting 2 until like i dunno#5 years into its life cycle at least. i waited like 4 years for the original switch i can wait as long as i need LOL#i hope its crossgen. im sure it'll be... it has to be.......... i also hope they keep the weirdness and unpredictability of the originals#this is what i want from my character sims. i want the characters to do shit on their own and i want to watch. i want to see my BUGS#i want to see my BUGS in my TERRARIUM. pretty please <3#its so cute. i made lia and she likes rolling around in her apartment all day. you go girl!!!#my lookalike fought siren tho. mean to him.
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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