#but its not even top five

[lover-of-mine]

https://x.com/cinnabondiaz/status/1842576963682382257

It’s because they literally have absolutely nothing else to go on but him constantly making weird sexual or possible sexual innuendos all the time. That’s literally the entire substance of his character this time around.

Is it gross and annoying and showing how much they are only watching for the fetishizing of mm sex? Yes but it’s all they got.

I'm sorry, I need to ignore the whole "why is everything about sex" aspect of this because I'm on the floor rolling around laughing imagining the grandmas that tuned in to the show because of Angela Basset and Peter Krause while they wait for Grey's Anatomy season 21, watching them discuss who gets fucked in the ass and breaking up because both of them need a dick inside of them and won't compromise. Incredible speculation for prime time network television. Amazing way to ask for confimation that they indeed fuck. The way they keep going around the obvious issue is so.... You guys went to war for racist tree #3, what are you expecting to find out about who he is?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Hear me out, Michael would think Roxy is SICK AF

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: Two drawings of Five in the centaur au. He is actually thirteen years old and living in the apocalypse, In the first drawing, he is contorted into an uncomfortable looking position in order to pick his back hoof. In the other, he is soaking his two front hooves in some suspicious water that is leaking out a pipe, while he is tying makeshift shoes to his back feet. End ID.]

its time for the tiniest saddest horse in the whole wide world 😔

today's theme is "hoof angst"

[ezlo-x]

Also if I ever figure out how to stream/record through my switch I would love to share you guys my acnh island :]

[masonjarsmoments]

I am just here for the vibes

[purecommemasolitude]

monkey man is suchhhhh a good film i have to write a paper on it for religious studies and it's got me actually clawing at the walls. everyone who can stomach violence and the many other mature phenomena in the movie go watch monkey man right the fuck now

[mikesoup]

i think making this legitimately did something to my brain

(aka a joblet hot to go edit because. why not i guess)

[kyouka-supremacy]

---

[skeletoninthemelonland]

i'm sick and coughing so much my soul leaves my body multiple times but here's the first ever Springtrap drawing I made. This is from 2015

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

i know this is silly and the answer is very obvious but like. do you guys ever read smut where the guy (in his 20s or 30s) gets off Once. and then is like 'well i simply cannot get it up again for a While' ??? like ???? sorry who are you people having sex with that you're confidently writing a man in his mid 20s as being Out Of The Game For The Night After One Orgasm ???

[regrettablemeasure]

I FINISHED IT.....

[moeblob]

sorry for ocs two days in a row have some babies from an adult's life time ago (aka 2005 I believe? is when I made them?)

[ryuseitai]

buzzed my hair + showered + put away my laundyr Lets fuckign go. my head feels fuzzy like a peach i love it

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

drawing human wally is killing me slowly. aka reminding me why i rarely draw people

[jonahmagnus]

Everyone's all like "ohhh Hayloft is so gender" and I mean literally everyone.... what is Verbatim too visceral for you