#but it's always the way these posts are phrased that is just... there's something very off about it

[souvenir116]

I've always thought charles unfollowed him in silent rage while they're flying together after Austria 19 but the clip you posted when max said that charles was like 'its like this' and he replied 'I understand' makes me think that he might actually ask for permission? give explanation? to unfollow max. And max agreed. And that might also be why they never fly together again ever since, but still be seen together doing debrief and generally being civil, though a bit awkward. I think I saw a clip of them on TikTok walking together, they're the only 2 drivers while surrounded by some cameras, and talking the whole way through, a month after Austria 19.

Tbh I wonder what that conversation on the plane entails. I don't think charles only said 'its like this' and then that's it. It's possible yes, since that's one of charles' favorite phrase. But I just wonder if they made some promise like let's only follow each other again after we're both champions. Or something like since we're gonna be direct competitors let's not start investing in deeper friendship between us so it's not gonna blow up, but we can still debrief like usual. And that's why they chose to never hang out (this changed now of course after last year). Or idk I just really want to be a fly on the wall in that whole conversation because max clearly didn't want to explain it further because it's personal.

Anyways just really want to know if them refusing to follow each other even though they clearly keep up with the other's social media is just them thinking it's funny to keep doing it or if it is them feeling like they should honor the promise/conversation they made on that plane.

i think this is the vid you're talking about! tbh max says they werent alone in the plane, probably had to keep their cool/ not cause a scene, and we know Charles is a bit passive aggressive, so that was his way of showing frustration, unfollowing.

Max still had control on his socials but I don't see him asking about it once he realizes Charles unfollowed/ blocked him. they were biting each other even in post race interviews. it was more of a thin ice than being vulnerable to go ask "why did you do that"

And about airmax, always amazes me how they werent so close but Charles flew with him even after the battle- but also, why was he invited at the first place too. they weren't that close. also charles wasnt looking at maxs face on the podium- this was his face lol.

after that, and he wasnt that mature back then, I dont think it was a very sincere "it's like this/its ok". Not to remind that charles was on Max's ass at silverstone/ japan, seething with anger. he was still mad. he was livid, but given 20/21s ferrari, and Max's title battle, he calmed down, and matured more. stopped bringing on track to off track, and started to enjoy debriefs, drivers parades, at least for max.

[tizahfanfics]

This POST reminded me of a fic I wrote a long time ago. It's basically Gordon and Scott on the beach (but it's angst, because... it's me, so it's always angst).

💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡

MURKY WATERS

"I was lost in a sea of despair, but you pulled me back..."

"You wanna surfing today?" The question came out of nowhere.

Gordon blinked and stared at his brother. It was ridiculously early, even for his morning habits. Scott stood in front of him, wearing this weird, expectant look.

"Scott… what?"

"I'm heading out to catch some waves. Thought you'd wanna come along."

"Sure, just—give me a minute. But, uh, why so early? It's gotta be freezing out there." Mornings on the island were always chilly, with winds that cut like a knife. Not exactly Gordon’s ide.

"What? Thought you liked a little challenge. Or are you chickening out?" Scott smirked, looking way too amused for Gordon's taste.

"No way! Just didn’t think you’d wanna hit the waves this early," Gordon said cautiously, choosing his words like walking on eggshells. Scott had been… touchy lately. The wrong tone or phrasing could set him off.

"Fine. I’ll meet you on the beach." Scott spun on his heel and left, leaving Gordon momentarily stunned. Well… maybe this was good. Maybe Scott was finally feeling more like himself. Gordon loved surfing with Scott, so… why not?

Gordon got dressed quickly and headed down to the beach, grabbing his board on the way.

It was definitely cold, just as he'd thought. Gordon considered trying to talk Scott into waiting a little longer, but when he spotted his brother already out in the water, grinning ear to ear, he let it slide.

Bracing himself for the icy waves, Gordon followed Scott into the surf. The wind was sharp and biting, and the water was frigid. Hopefully, Scott would realize this soon and they'd both head back in.

They paddled out and caught a couple of small waves, Gordon staying close enough to keep an eye on his brother. If anything went wrong, he was ready to haul Scott back to shore, no questions asked.

"Hey, remember that time at… what was it, Malibu?" Scott paddled closer, his nose red from the cold and his eyes bright with energy.

"Yeah, I remember. You didn’t wanna go, but then we couldn’t get you off the board," Gordon said with a laugh. Back then, Scott had been down in the dumps for some reason, so Gordon had dragged him out to Malibu for a few days with some friends.

Scott had initially bailed, saying he had "stuff to deal with," but right before Gordon left, he showed up, packed and ready.

"I didn’t wanna go," Scott admitted, his voice quieter. "That was the day Erin dumped me."

Oh.

Gordon hadn’t known that. He’d met Erin a few times, but never thought their relationship was anything serious. She was the free-spirited type, not someone who seemed interested in long-term anything. Besides, Scott had been gearing up to head to the Air Force Academy anyway.

"I had no idea," Gordon said, his brow furrowing. "Why didn’t you tell me? And why'd you decide to come, then?"

"It was… something she said," Scott replied, trailing off as he stared at the horizon.

Gordon waited for him to elaborate, but Scott just stayed there, lost in thought, before suddenly paddling further out.

"Hey, you just gonna sit there? That wave looks killer!" Scott called, breaking Gordon's train of thought.

Gordon smiled at his brother's excitement before trying to follow along. Scott wasn't making sense today;but after weeks of having a very quiet and untalkative brother, this seemed like progress. Gordon hoped it was.

He watched his brother advance and felt a tingling in his stomach that told him not to lose sight of him.

"Wait! Don’t go too far!" Gordon yelled, but Scott kept paddling toward a swell forming in the east. Gordon couldn’t help but feel like a worried parent on a beach trip with their kid. Usually, that was Scott’s job.

Apesar do frio, Scott parecia estar aproveitando o momento. Era bom ver seu irmão relaxando.

He enjoyed the sea. The day was truly beautiful, the cold already beginning to give way to comforting warmth as the sun rose in the sky.He looked around, not wanting to lose sight of Scott. Everything seemed so normal, just like old times.

A strong wind began to blow like the howl of a wounded animal. Gordon felt a strange chill, his Squid sense suddenly began to beep. He didn't know what it was.

His brother continued forward and Gordon realized he was heading in an unsafe direction. Stroking faster he began to move forward to get closer to Scott. His brain told him he was just freaking out over nothing.

But something in Gordon’s gut told him he needed to get Scott out of the water. Like, now.

He paddled faster, trying to catch up. Scott shouldn’t be pushing himself this hard—his body was still recovering.

"Scott! Slow down, man. Save some energy for the next set…" Gordon tried to keep his tone light, but his concern was bleeding through.

Scott ignored him. When the wave came, he rode it perfectly, and Gordon followed close behind.

Being inside the wave was exhilarating, like flying. Gordon thought maybe that was what Scott was chasing—freedom.

When they surfaced, both gasping for air, Gordon swept his wet hair back and glanced around for Scott. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Scott popped up right in front of him.

Scott’s expression was… strange. A mix of fear and uncertainty.

"You good?" Gordon blurted out before he could stop himself.

Scott frowned, like he was trying to work out the question, then turned back to the horizon.

"Yeah. I’m fine," he finally said, but his tone didn’t match the words.

"Scott, why don’t we head back now, huh? My leg’s cramping up a bit. Don’t think I should risk it," Gordon said, hoping to appeal to Scott’s protective instincts.

Scott gave him a long look, and for a second, Gordon thought he’d agree. But halfway back, Scott stopped abruptly.

"You’re lying."

"What?" Gordon asked, caught off guard.

"You’re lying! I’m fine, damn it! Why is everyone acting like I’m made of glass?" Scott shouted, his voice shaking as he tossed his surfboard aside.

"Whoa, hey! Where’s this coming from? We’re just worried about you!" Gordon said, letting his own board float as he reached for Scott.

But Scott wasn’t having it. "Worried? I’m sick of it! I know what I can handle, Gordon! I know what I'm capable of, I'm not broke! Can I at least ride a wave? ....I need this. Either that or would you rather I take a plane to relax? I—" He laughed, a sharp, bitter sound that made Gordon’s chest tighten.

"Scott! Calm down, man. Let’s just—"

But Scott was already paddling back out, ignoring him completely.

Gordon’s heart was pounding. Something was wrong.

"Scott!" he yelled, picking up his pace as a wave rolled over them. When Gordon surfaced, Scott was gone.

Panic hit him like a punch to the gut.

"Scott!" Gordon shouted again, spinning in the water. His pulse thundered in his ears.

Without a second thought, Gordon dove under, scanning the cold, murky water. It wasn’t long before he spotted a flash of blue—Scott’s wetsuit.

Scott lay motionless in the murky water.

Fuck fuck fuck!

He swam faster than he ever had, grabbing his brother and hauling him toward the shore.

By the time they hit the sand, Scott wasn’t breathing.

Gordon’s throat tightened, but he shoved the panic aside. His training kicked in;ignoring how much he himself was shaking.

Minutes felt like hours until, finally, Scott coughed and spat out water.

He couldn't believe what had just happened. He wanted to cry, from relief, from fear, from all the feelings that were boiling inside him.

Gordon quickly came to his senses upon hearing the distressing sounds of his brother. A mixture of coughs and sobs shook Scott's body, making Gordon's heart tighten even more.

Pulling his brother so he could breathe better resting on his chest as he calmed his own nerves from the terror he felt when Scott disappeared into the water.

"Shhh, you're okay. You're okay bro, we're okay." He knew they were far from okay; but somehow they would get there.

When his brother's rapid breathing and sobs finally calmed, he pulled Scott so they were face to face, still supporting him with his hands on his shoulders.

"What's gotten into you?!" ?" He didn't want his voice to crack, but he couldn't help it. It would give him many nights of nightmares.

Scott looked away and frowned, as if understanding had only just dawned on him.

"I don't know…oh my gosh. Fuck! I'm so sorry." He began to speak, his voice low and muffled by his own hands, which were shaking uncontrollably.

"Damn it! You don't do that Scott. You don't go into the water and underestimate it like that, ever. And you can't do that to me! You scared me to death." He stood up, needing to breathe and calm himself. "If I hadn't found you, you would have died! Do you see that? We just got you back…you can't-" Then everything came crashing down; he could no longer contain the tears that insisted on falling suddenly.

Scott tried to get up, but his legs betrayed him and he almost fell back into the sand if Gordon hadn't rushed to catch him.

They locked in a desperate embrace as if they could put all the broken pieces of themselves back together with just the endless love they felt for each other.

Gordon held his brother tightly. Scott was shaking under his hands. For a minute they stood there, breathing. Until Gordon realized that Scott was now shaking badly and still a little panting. He maneuvered his brother to steady him, and they both began the slow walk toward home.

"Let's go home, Scotty. Let's get you warm again." His brother said nothing, but squeezed his hand in acknowledgement.

You don't have to run, Scott. You can lean on us. We'll get through this, together."His brother made a very timid sound of agreement beside him. Gordon accepted this, it was the best he could ask for at the moment.

Scott had only been home from the hospital for a month. He looked much better physically, but Gordon knew there were unseen wounds that would take longer to heal.

"Thank you Gords" His brother thanked him, softly, almost a whisper.

"Anytime, bro. I'm here for you, whenever you need me. But I'd rather you didn't pull an Aquaman, my heart is fragile."

[usafphantom2]

#TomcatTuesday

#TomcatTails

First Night Launch Off the Boat

It was 1993 and I’d just graduated from the VF-124 Gunfighters at NAS Miramar. VF-124 was the RAG or Readiness Air Group back then, more recently called the FRS or Fleet Replacement Squadron now and was the F-14 training squadron. It had been an eventful January as I’d been assigned to the VF-24 Renegades, part of Carrier Air Group (CAG) 9 onboard USS NIMITZ (CVN-68) but still had some RAG Tactics hops to finish. Flying with VF-124 during the day doing a few 2 versus or 4 versus unknown syllabus hops (some good stories there!) and doing Field Carrier Landing Practice (FCLP) hops at night with VF=24. We were heading out on cruise on the 1st February so we had to get worked up and ready.

After a quick Carrier Qualification in VF-24, we were off on my first Western Pacific (WESTPAC) cruise, destined for places like Hong Kong, Singapore, Dubai, and more. The picture in this post is me on this first cruise. I was never much of a shutterbug so photos of me on the job are rare! Note here I’m standing by the trusty AIM-54C Phoenix missile mounted on the belly of the Tomcat. At this stage in the F-14’s life, she was just getting into the air-to-mud mission so was very much still a primary air-to-air platform so we’d be doing most of the fighter stuff for this cruise. Standard combat load at that time was “2/2/2” which translated to 2 x AIM-9 Sidewinder 2 x AIM-7 Sparrow, and 2 x AIM-54 Phoenix (I think I got that order right….been a while!)

As we start our trek west, cruise begins. My first. I’d gotten carrier landings in the T-2 Buckeye and A-4 Skyhawk (both day only), had done CQ in VF-124 in the Tomcat (day and night), and had just recently re-qualified in VF-24 (day and night) so it’s not like I was TOTALLY unfamiliar with night landings. But mentally you have to factor in that this is the first REAL night flight from the boat on cruise. Up until that time, every CQ evolution was a training environment. All the movement, people, ships, deck crews, fuel, etc. were all focused on YOU to get you up to speed. Now was different. We were headed west. We’re not near a divert field. This was real. I liken it to the difference between banging golf balls with your driver at the range and teeing off on the #1 at Augusta during the Masters. Same movement, same club, same ball…..but VERY different.

Also, this was a bit ago and the focus on the Nuggets (new guys) was intense. They flew the sh*t out of you off the boat. Every day, every night. The worse the conditions, the more Nuggets they’d launch. Trial by fire, m’fer. Every flight was an opportunity to learn something, and since Nuggets didn’t know sh*t, launch ‘em!! It might still be like that......dunno.

My first scheduled cruise night flight is with the Maintenance Officer (an O4, Lieutenant Commander, senior RIO) “Butch”. I can’t recall the mission but likely just a night AIC (Air Intercept Control) flight against another fighter, with probably 12 or 14 other airplanes scheduled to launch. The brief went pretty well, but I’m just focused on getting back the ship without (a) shining my ass or (b) killing myself and Butch. True Fighter Guys will know that of those two, (a) is WAY worse than (b). “I’d rather die than look bad” was an oft repeated phrase. I did note during the brief that the metro guys (meteorological dudes or “weather guessers”) said that the weather would include “some clouds and rain”. Of note, the ship can actually avoid weather, we just didn’t that night. Thanks, ship.

So Butch and I suit up and head for the roof. Our ready room on NIMITZ was “Ready 8” all the way at the back of the ship so that’s where the jets were always parked (Tomcats on the back of the boat because there’s more room). He pops the hatch and HOLY SH*T that wind is blowing hard……and DAMN that’s a lot of rain…..blowing sideways. Gulp.

We crouch down against the wind and rain, climb up to the flight deck, spot our plane and start the preflight. Once done (and soaking wet) we both climb in and I notice that in addition to the high winds and driving sideways rain, we have a LOT of movement of the flight deck through the heavy seas. Great. Dark, rainy, windy, and pitching deck. Sidebar – during a carrier landing, if everything is perfectly steady and you’re perfectly on glide slop and on speed, your tailhook misses the back of the ship by 11 feet 7 inches. Well, tonight the deck is moving probably 10-15 deck up and down. You do the math.

So the canopy finally closes out the wind and rain and we get power on the jet. Butch is in full “encouragement mode” at this point because he knows I’m his ride home (back where the food is, as we say) and he’s GOT to keep me pumped up. “THIS IS F**KING AWESOME MAN!!!”, he shouts. I ask him if he really thinks we’re going and he’s like “Oh yean, man! This is gonna be GREAT!!”

I’m skeptical. There’s no WAY they’d launch us in these conditions.

THESE are the thoughts that we stupid Nuggets think. Silly Nugget.

Jet is started, final checks are done, and we signal to the yellow shirt (aircraft directors wear yellow shirts, more colors for different jobs….purple for fuel, brown for Plane Captain, white for medical/final checker, etc.). I’m still skeptical they’re going to send us. “Butch, you really think they’re gonna send us?”

“Oh yeah, man! We goin’ FLYIN! You can’t BUY training like this!”. That’s because know one is dumb enough to try and sell it, to be honest.

I look over and sure enough the director gives the signal to remove chocks and chains and signals for us to pull forward. Gulp again. While the rain is still hitting the cockpit from the side and the deck is doing its little dance, we make our way to Cat 3 (3 of 4 catapults on the boat). The director then passes me to the director on the CAT who stands in front of the jet, guiding me into the shuttle (hunk of steel connected to the catapult system below decks that will fling us off the boat, accelerating from 0 to 150 in 1.4 seconds).

He calls for wings out, flaps down and then we're turned over to the launch officer. He calls for full power, then full afterburner. I do my control wipe out, finally convinced that yes, we’re probably doing this. Everything looks good, so I turn on the external lights (off until that point) indicating I’m ready for launch and………BOOM, off we go into the blackness.

Throttle out of afterburner, gear up, flaps up and start the climb out going into the clouds at about 500 feet. Butch is doing his RIO thing and we keep climbing through the goo (clouds). We eventually break out of the clouds at around 26,000 feet and gosh it’s a beautiful night up here. Big, shiny moon, pretty stars. Down stairs? Not so much, but really nice way up here. Butch calls back to the ship and tells them that we broke out at 26K and the boat comes back with “Roger that, launch is canceled. Turn left 180 and we’ll start vectors for recovery”.

What? Launch canceled? Butch now teaches me about the idea of “the sacrificial Tomcat”. If the weather is not so good, shoot a Tomcat off the boat to go investigate the weather. It’s dual crewed and has LOTS of gas, so what could possibly go wrong, right? F**k.

So now we gotta get home back to the boat. That’s where the food is, and that’s where your stuff is, and there’s really no place else to go. We get vectors to final while dumping gas to get down to max trap weight. The maximum landing weight for the Tomcat was 54,000 pounds and a landing is called a “trap”, hence “max trap”. Empty weight is about 45,000 pounds and you carried 20,000 pounds of gas so we had to dump quite a bit.

Vectors complete, we wind up behind the boat at about 2 miles and are on glide slope coming down the chute. Another tidbit; everyone on the boat knows they launched the sacrificial Tomcat AND they know who’s in the jet….a Nugget. So all eyes are going to be on the ships TV that broadcasts every landing from a camera that’s recessed into the flight deck and looks right up the glide slope at the approaching aircraft. To say The Nugget Night Trap in Shitty Weather Show is popular is an understatement. It’s Must See TV.

Great.

Things actually went pretty well. I was always a good instrument flyer (looking only at the cockpit instruments), and for landing you lined up crosshairs on your screen so that they formed a perfect plus sign +. Drift left and the vertical needle moves to the right to tell you to come back right. Go low, and the horizontal needle goes up to tell you to add power to get back up on glide slope. Pretty straight forward, right?

By about a mile out, Butch is doing the soothing voice “loooookin good, bud……little high……there ya go…..loooooking gooood.” For me, that’s actually kind of helpful and it validates that I’m not completely out to lunch. The problem is that eventually you have to come off instruments and actually look at the ship to land. At about mile out and 500 feet, the ship is finally visible. At three-quarter mile, Butch calls the ball: “Two-oh-two, Tomcat ball, five-oh”, which translates to “I’m Jet # 202, we’re in a Tomcat and can see the visual landing aide/ball, and we have 5,000 pounds of gas). This is when I start my “transition scan” where you gently look up to make sure the boat is actually there, come back in one more time to verify the needles are centered and everything looks good, then come back out for the last time to start flying glide slope (“meatball”), centerline (“lineup”) speed (“angle of attack”) all the way to touch down.

This is NOT a picture I’d seen much and I had DEFINITELY never landed on a pitching deck.

“Gee, what do you know, you can actually SEE the deck moving waaaay down and then waaaay back up and HOLY SH*T WHY AM I LOOKING AT THE DECK GET BACK TO MEATBALL, LINEUP, ANGLE OF ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.

If you look at the deck while landing (“deck spotters”), there’s a better than average chance you’ll hit the back of the ship because it’s moving away from you at 20mph. That's not good.

Some lineup corrections, a couple “little power” calls from the LSO (Landing Signal Officer) and a couple more “looooking goods” from Butch and we cross the ramp (didn’t hit it, thank you), land in the wires and trap, going to full power in the wires in case we’d missed them all (“boltered”). Whew!!! Wings back, flaps up, and follow the director to parking. We shut down and Butch is again back to “That was AWESOME, MAN!!” He was likely just happy to be alive. And so was I after my first night launch on cruise.

And for the Naval Aviators out there, Paddles gave me a Fair Deuce.

DISCLAIMER - any inaccuracies in technical details are due soley to poor memory and being old.

@RSE_VB via X

[lgbtlunaverse]

Thinking of the Nie disciple that told Nie Mingjue it was Meng Yao who stayed behind to clean up corpses on the battlefield today.

Nie Mingjue didn't just randomly stumble upon poor lil meowyao eating bread in the novel, he was already looking for him to thank and reward him for his work.

That's what makes it so fun that nieyao's first conflict will end up being about someone else taking credit for Meng Yao's work.

And I'm sure that Nie Mingjue's actual opinions on plagiarism are a lot more nuanced, all we really get from him in this scene is "well you shouldn't kill someone over it!" which leaves a lot of room for what punishments he thinks are appropiate. But I bet that it isn't occuring to him in this moment that the only reason he knows Meng Yao at all, the only reason he got such a capable deputy, is that he noticed someone was taking care of the dead and cared enough to want to know their name. And then the Nie disciples didn't lie to him. The disciple he asked could have said "it was me, Zongzhu" to rise in the ranks himself, but he didn't. He went and asked others, who all also could have taken the credit, but they didn't. Someone saw Meng Yao working and decided to be honest about it and that simple decision is the catalyst for Meng Yao becoming Nie Mingjue's deputy.

Meng Yao can't just work hard to get results, others have to acknowledge that work. If they don't, it's as if he didn't do anything at all.

[codacheetah]

I keep thinking of how I want to taxonomize Siffrin and Loop bc it feels significant to me that Loop and Siffrin both have inherently diverged from the same Traveler Mold they came from. But because I am like a 7 year old I keep sagely nodding to myself going "ah yes... just like mega mewtwo"

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Lately I'm seeing more and more of those "what race do you ID as" polls and i dunno but i can't help but feel kinda weird about them cause like, disregarding the fact that the options are usually ridiculously US-centered in terms of the concept of race (like someone in the notes of one of these polls pointed out - "native/indigenous" to WHERE? I could call myself a native/indigenous czech and it would be de facto correct lol, also some people would not consider slavs white even today), or seem to ignore the existence of massive groups of people (never seen a poll include arab or desi people for example), but mainly it's like

I dunno, maybe I've read too much about Nazi Germany but any phrase similar to "state your racial identity" creeps me the fuck out

[stardust-and-fries]

Oh boy!! A chance for me to yap about gender at length?!?!!?!? DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [See tags for details. But be warned... I Popped the Fuck OFF writing this one, it's a doozy!]

Sorry if this is rude, but how do you identify? I looked around a bit and couldn't find anything, my apologies

Not rude! Honestly, I don't know these days! Lots of thoughts swirling around in my head. Maybe this is too much, but also maybe saying something instead of keeping it inside will be helpful... I'll put my gender thoughts under the cut... maybe someone can relate and offer some thoughts lol:

Recently, I came to the conclusion that I'm really not attracted to men at all, and maybe, I never have been. Looking back, I can kind of clearly see that any crush on a guy I thought I had was more like "wow, this person is COOL as HELL. I hope we can be really good friends." And then I noticed, that any crush I had on a girl felt... different. The feeling was totally different, and it still is. Have you noticed how most of the men I draw are quite feminine? I also have no idea what's going on with my gender. I know I'm me, a Yugo, I also can't comfortably say what exactly I am. Though by technicality, I am nonbinary, the word doesn't feel QUITE right to use for me. Maybe genderqueer is better. I've never identified as a man, but I have identified as transmasc and taken T. I really do like the results I've gotten from that. But at the same time, I don't really feel close to "manhood" at all, but something about having a mustache sometimes, like I tend to do, feels right to me still. I also like to wear lipstick and stuff. I don't know. I'm also not a "woman" I don't think, but I identify with more... I don't know, masculine expressions of womanhood if that makes sense? I am very androgynous in expression, in short. So basically I don't know what the hell is going on. All I know is I love women LOL. Can anyone relate to any of this? Any ideas?? I will not be offended by any assumptions you might have lol. Maybe I should just make a comic about this.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

for whom good omens is being written

Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:

The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.

And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:

'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."

'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'

He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'

(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'

And, finally, this paragraph:

"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"

I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.

Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")

Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

The thing with the Mari Lwyd, though, is that it's being... I don't know, 'appropriated' is the wrong word, but certainly turned into something it isn't.

Thing is, this is a folk tradition in the Welsh language, and that's the most important aspect of it. I feel partly responsible for this, because I accidentally became a bit of an expert on the topic of the Mari Lwyd in a post that escaped Tumblr containment, and I clearly didn't stress it strongly enough there (in my defence, I wrote that post for ten likes and some attention); but this is a Welsh language tradition, conducted in Welsh, using Welsh language poetic forms that are older than the entire English language, and also a very specific sung melody (with a very specific first verse; that's Cân y Fari). It is not actually a 'rap battle'. It's not a recited poem. It is not any old rhyme scheme however you want.

It is not in English.

Given the extensive and frankly ongoing attempts by England to wipe out Welsh, and its attendant cultural traditions, the Mari is being revived across Wales as an act of linguistic-cultural defiance. She's a symbol of Welsh language culture, specifically; an icon to remind that we are a distinct people, with our own culture and traditions, and in spite of everyone and everything, we're still here. Separating her from that by removing the Welsh is, to put it mildly, wildly disrespectful.

...but it IS what I'm increasingly seeing, both online and in real world Mari Lwyd festivals. She's gained enormous pop-culture popularity in recent years, which is fantastic; but she's also been reduced from the tradition to just an aesthetic now.

So many people are talking/drawing about her as though she's a cryptid or a mythological figure, rather than the folk practice of shoving a skull on a stick and pretending to be a naughty horse for cheese and drunken larks. And I get it! It's an intriguing visual! Some of the artwork is great! But this is not what she is. She's not a Krampus equivalent for your Dark Christmas aesthetic.

I see people writing their own version of the pwnco (though never called the pwnco; almost always called some variant on 'Mari Lwyd rap battle'), and as fun as these are, they are never even written in the meter and poetic rules of Cân y Fari, much less in Welsh, and they never conclude with the promise to behave before letting the Mari into the house. The pwnco is the central part to the tradition; this is the Welsh language part, the bit that's important and matters.

Mari Lwyd festivals are increasingly just English wassail festivals with a Mari or two present. The Swansea one last weekend didn't even include a Mari trying to break into a building (insert Shrek meme); there was no pwnco at all. Even in the Chepstow ones, they didn't do actual Cân y Fari; just a couple of recited verses. Instead, the Maris are just an aesthetic, a way to make it look a bit more Welsh, without having to commit to the unfashionable inconvenience of actually including Welsh.

And I don't really know what the answers are to these. I can tell you what I'd like - I'd like art to include the Welsh somewhere, maybe incorporating the first line of Cân y Fari like this one did, to keep it connected to the actual Welsh tradition (or other Welsh, if other phrases are preferred). I'd like people who want to write their version of the pwnco to respect the actual tradition of it by using Cân y Fari's meter and rhyme scheme, finishing with the promise to behave, and actually calling it the pwnco rather than a rap battle (and preferably in Welsh, though I do understand that's not always possible lol). I'd like to see the festivals actually observe the tradition, and include a link on the booking website to an audio clip of Cân y Fari and the words to the first verse, so attendees who want to can learn it ahead of time. I don't know how feasible any of that is, of course! But that's what I'd like to see.

I don't know. This is rambly. But it's something I've been thinking about - and increasingly nettled by - for a while. There's was something so affirming and wonderful at first about seeing the Mari's climb into international recognition, but it's very much turned to dismay by now, because she's important to my endangered culture and yet that's the part that everyone apparently wants to drop for being too awkward and ruining the aesthetic. It's very frustrating.

[xazse]

I don’t know about the anon but I freaked out when I saw the new fic. It was so good 🤤. I love how you’re giving us so much content nowadays and I’m here for it! Anyway, I was hoping that maybe you could figure something out for snow leopard Gojo and cat hybrid reader (him as a cat jest feels right) ? Imagine Satoru having this in mind ever since he saw you, I mean, big cats mate practically for the solo reason of breeding ?and he's no different- having many pups is a necessity to prove you're his and the best way to show how much he adores you! He’d be very protective about you while you’re carrying, never stepping away from your side and he’s become so needy too because you smell so divine with all those hormones to him.

It makes me think back to that kitty tiger fic where he would lick her and I see this as a continuation of short!

Well, not really since I mentioned a leopard but honestly if you did a tiger and really wrote it as a continuation l'd be thrilled. Do you think you’ll write more because I’d love some Satoru tiger/leopard fics. Have a nice day lovely 💕

Notes: SORRY ITS SO SHORT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I HAD FUN WRITING IT!!

Warnings: Pantysniffing + breeding + hybrids + little hybrids + pregnancy + overprotective!Satoru

Pairings: SnowLeopardSatoru + KittyHybrid!Reader

Oh yes of course SnowLeopard!Satoru was in love the day Suguru brought you home, you smelled of that icky place but eventually when you got comfortable he began cleaning you of that filthy, licking you everywhere to ensure you smelled exactly like him.

After scenting you to smell just like the touching started, it starts small with Satoru laying you in his lap or letting you stroke his hair until it got even more physical he was having you bent over balls deep inside of you, this became a daily occurrence where he’d pump you full load after load.

The leopard loved you so much, of course when you started showing signs of morning sickness he was so damn excited, well when he had said that you gave him the nastiest look ever but he had to phrase it as he was excited for the baby!

The first few months were absolute hell for you, Satoru could not and would not leave you alone, he insisted mining everything and anything with you.

You needed a shower? He’s in there helping you get in places your cute little belly prevents even in public he’s always making sure your near him, he keeps a tight grip on your arm so he doesn’t lose you.

He also keeps close because you smell, so fucking good, it drives him damn insane, he keeps you in his lap for hours just sniffing your neck or even having your legs wrapped around his head so he can smell your cunt.

He loves getting into your dirty laundry and smelling your panties, who cares if you catch him jerking off with it around his fat cock, he’ll look you dead in your face as you slowly close the door to let him have that privacy, he can’t fuck your pussy like he used to anymore so this’ll do.

When the babies come it’s so hectic around the house, you and Satoru are constantly chasing the little ones around, they don’t give either of you a break some days. It’s so cute to see how they look exactly like Satoru in some ways, two of them have his hair and the third one looks exactly like you, a carbon copy is what she is.

Their little ears and tail swish behind them so freaking cute, the amount of photos Satoru has in his phone is astonishing, he also posts them on his instagram always, everytime, Suguru also does his hair share with helping with them when you and Satoru are stressed. He’s like their uncle and it’s so adorable to see them braiding his hair or him reading to them.

When you finally get alone time, Satoru’s fucking you like he wants to put even more babies in you, the way he’s groaning is so damn loud it pairs with the way you sound when both of you meet in the middle, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t fucking back on him just as hard, it’s already been multiple orgasms and you’re both still going at it.

[helslastangel]

Random Astro Placement Observations

Original individual posts combined into this single post. Based on personal interpretation. If it doesn't apply, LET IT FLY. Enjoy.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Uranus in Aquarius in 1H

-Free-spirited and eccentric with a unique way of thinking and inspiring change

-Does not care to conform to societal norms; wants to carve their own path

-Others associate their unconventional approach with leadership potential

-Highly innovative and good at communicating their ideas to others

-May endure setbacks and unforeseen changes in their life; unpleasant surprises

-Can fall into a rut if their progress is interrupted too drastically and too often

-Can appear to be attention-seeking at times, especially in dress and mannerisms

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Jupiter Sextile Neptune in Synastry

-These two dream together so well that they might as well be lost in Wonderland.

-The Jupiter person hates stagnancy and always wants to be growing, expanding outwards into who-knows-where.

-The Neptune person has a huge imagination and enjoys venturing into the unknown, even if only through the mind.

-When the Jupiter person gets stuck in a rut, unable to think of a path forward, the Neptune person floats in to whisper a little random something in their ear that revives the spark and saves the day.

-The benefits don't only go one way either, when the Neptune person gets lost in all the mist in their head, unable to act on anything, the Jupiter person can gallop in to hoist them up above the fog and carry them forward to a real destination.

-That is, assuming they both don't start having too much fun poking holes in the clouds instead.

-A risk with this aspect is that both people could end up enabling each other's inaction and being too content to build castles in the sky if they're not careful. But if they keep an eye on that, this can be an incredibly creative pair who will never grow bored with each other.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Pluto Trine Ascendant

-Projects a strong outer appearance even when feeling the exact opposite inside

-Charismatic people who others find attractive or at least intriguing

-Can be blunt but are perceived by others as charming and "just being honest"

-Shares what they want to; hides their life from the public eye without trying

-Can leave others feeling left in the dark or excluded from their inner circle.

-May be the subject of many rumors; some true, some false

-Others assume this person is healthier, wealthier, or more popular than they are

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Sextile Mars

-With Sun Sextile Mars in your natal chart, you are brave, full of energy and often look young for your age. Some of you might be into sports or some kind of intense activities (dancing, martial arts, rock climbing, HIIT, etc.).

-If you’re more of a homebody, you could be the type to engage in causes online, standing up for endangered or marginalized beings.

-People might hit on you often or even if not, you might have a little trouble with the people who DO show interest in you mainly being interested in sex. At least, at first. Depending on your personal preferences and other placements, this may or may not be a problem.

- You’re the type of person who can work equally well alone or in a group, though you may prefer solo work if the groups you end up in can’t keep up with your energy.

-You’re usually popular and make friends very easily, though your direct way of speaking can rub some people the wrong way. However, people get used to you and quickly overlook this, as your honest nature and authenticity is very refreshing for most.

-The dynamic between you and your father/father-figure may be unique or just noticeably strong in some way. Others may often describe you as a “chip off the old block,” “Daddy’s girl” or some other phrase that highlights this connection.

-This can also go either way - You may have a positive or negative relationship with the masculine parent, it will just be a strong one regardless.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Neptune Trine Lilith

-Unafraid of things others find controversial, extreme or taboo

-Tend to be open (or at least comfortable) with their sexuality

-Highly expressive and does not bend to societal expectations

-Refuses to be controlled or held back by anyone but themselves

-Surprises others with their unconventional, free-spirited approach to spirituality

-Met with curiosity and acceptance rather than scorn for their views

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mercury in Libra

-You're diplomatic and fair, but also take forever to make up your mind.

-People love you for the way you consider everyone's point of view, but it's okay to have your own opinion and stand on it too.

-Your partners love you because you'll never embarrass them in public.

-You believe in a united front and will stand by those you love in public and correct them in private.

-Somehow you have the best advice. Even if you don't always take it yourself.

-One thing about you, you're gonna make a list of pros and cons.

-Your voice is so smooth and sexy. People fall in love with the way you sound and you don't even know it.

-Your friends call you when they can't sleep, and not in a bad way. You're just so calming to listen to that it takes their stress away.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Trine Moon

-You are popular and generally likable, but may be somewhat private or secretive.

-Others see you as someone who has mastered the balance between showing humility and displaying confidence. This fact alone makes you so much more attractive to others.

-Speaking of attraction, people are often attracted to the sense of security they feel around you. You're generally easygoing, or at least you try to appear that way.

-Harmony is important to you and you'll go lengths to maintain it. It can be difficult for you to understand people who seem to be at war with themselves, because your own ideals and feelings are rarely at odds.

-If there aren't enough challenging aspects in your chart to make you more familiar with inner conflict, you could find yourself becoming avoidant and sweeping things under the rug or delaying tough conversations with others.

-People think you know what you’re talking about, even if you don’t. There’s an aura of “knowing” about you and may often be picked to lead teams or call the shots in some way. This can be either flattering or annoying, depending on whether you enjoy being in charge.

-You’re a friendly person and avoid conflict, but you can certainly defend yourself if necessary and others are sometimes surprised when a more firm side of your personality comes out. Overall though, you're most likely to live and let live whenever possible.

-You can be extremely accepting of others and yourself, but sometimes to a fault. It's a good idea to get in the habit of questioning things or seeking out perspectives on life that are different from your own.

-Family can be your Achille's heel as you’ll put up with things from loved ones that you’d never tolerate from anyone else.

-There are many things you’re good at, but you’re unlikely to brag. Your efforts may go unnoticed for a short time simply because you never bring them up and don’t point out anything you’ve done to anyone.

-You may embody the sentiment of “if it doesn’t affect me, then it doesn’t bother me." Can have an easier time achieving goals since emotions won't get in the way.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Sagittarius Sun in 11H

-Optimistic and freedom-loving; constantly seeking adventure

-May be a strong presence in their social circle, if not the leader

-Values friendship highly and wants to work/live/travel with friends

-Can be idealistic but surrounds themselves with people who think differently and can offer varying perspectives

-Could be involved in social justice matters and be a voice for change

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Sun Sextile Mercury in Synastry

-Conversations between the Sun person and the Mercury person are lively and extremely enjoyable for both of them.

-These are the friends or partners who can easily spend hours on the phone or facetime, talking about anything and everything under the sun from why humans speak so many different languages to what color socks goes with what outfit.

-The Sun person brings new concepts and raw perspectives to the conversation, which the Mercury person is all too happy to process and put into the best combination of words.

-This aspect is especially sweet for pairs who have compatible hobbies or skills/professions, e.g. a singer/musician and a writer/poet, or a web/software developer and a copywriter.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Ascendant Conjunct Uranus

-Original thinkers who can usually back up their ideas with actions

-Like to be around open-minded, progressive types of people

-Love to play the devil's advocate; can rebel or argue for the sake of it

-Others view them confident and creative, yet also eccentric

May sabotage themselves by constantly trying to shock people

-Looks for partners who need freedom and personal space, like them

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Moon Conjunct Neptune

-You are highly imaginative and creative. Possibly a great storyteller who can take the most mundane experience and recast it in an interesting and theatrical light. This can make you popular and very well-liked by others.

-You might make an exceptional actor, whether professionally or in everyday life. Though if overdone, this trait can backfire and lead to you being loved for who you are not.

-This is rarely malicious on others' part: Neptune's misty illusions, combined with the changeable nature of the moon cause you to unintentionally fool others and sometimes yourself.

-Internally, you could be quite sensitive, but whether you wear this on your sleeve or conceal it depends on your moon sign and other aspects. Regardless, you often absorb all the energies in a room and constantly process everything you see and feel.

-Sometimes, it could feel like you have no idea where you end and others begin. Struggling with emotional boundaries can be a negative theme in your life if not balanced out by other aspects.

-People who do not this (or similar) placements can find it difficult to empathize with you and might spread rumors or make your personality a frequent topic of their conversations.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Trine Saturn

-Extremely loyal; can be reserved and controlled in social settings

-Not obviously introverted or extroverted; quiet but not shy

-Usually attracted to older partners or people with mature energy

-Afraid of rejection but will try to hide this from others at all costs

-Highly determined when their mind is set to achieve something

-Can be creative and will usually finish the projects they start

-Blends structures with aesthetics well; may enjoy interior design

-Extremely responsible people who others look up to and rely on

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Juno in Scorpio

-While Venus may show how we fall in love and what traits attract us most, Juno shows what we truly need to feel safe and secure in a marriage or long-term partnership, regardless of what we're attracted to.

-In my case, I have both Venus and Juno in Scorpio, so there isn't much difference between what I need and what I desire in a partner. But some may not be so fortunate and experience a war with themselves.

-Juno in Scorpio natives like an element of mystery around their relationships. The allure of having a whole other side to their lives behind closed doors that the public knows nothing about.

-Traditionally ruled by Mars, Scorpio approaches emotion with a lot of passion and a sense of urgency. When Juno is placed in this sign, the natives can experience intense power dynamics with the object of their affection. A fear of betrayal and obsession with loyalty is also present.

-Scorpio Juno people NEED depth in their relationship, otherwise they will fall out of love. If they cannot connect deeply with their lover for any reason, they will do everything possible to reestablish the bond.

-However, if their partner makes no effort to restore the connection, they can often grow to hate their partner just as deeply as they once loved them. Depending on the rest of their chart, they may either stay in the relationship out of obligation, but entertain secret affairs, or they may sever the relationship entirely and seek another, or become celibate and closed off to relationships entirely.

-Scorpio Juno people will not be happy with anything less than a true soulmate relationship. Despite being slow to open up themselves, they desire partners who are trusting, loyal and unafraid to show vulnerability.

-The ride or die type of relationship is usually the only kind of relationship these natives feel truly satisfied in. They can often find this kind of connection in people with whom they have Juno-Mars, Juno-Venus, Juno-Sun, or Juno-Sun synastry, or people with significant/many planets in Scorpio.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Ascendant Conjunct Mars

-Cares about others but does not over-identify with their emotions.

-Can spend hours trying to figure out why everyone else is so upset.

-Joyful (unless depressed) but also impulsive and easily angered

-Comes on strong, which thrills some and overwhelms others.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Conjunct Jupiter

-You’re a gentle peacemaker. Aggression and conflict grieve your spirit in ways that words can’t express.

-Harsh personalities can drive you to step out of character yourself, so you tend to seek out agreeable people to be friends with. This isn’t difficult as you’re generally popular in your social circles unless other placements in your chart suggest otherwise.

-Anytime there is a dispute, you’re likely to walk away or try to delay getting into the argument.

-You may be physically attractive, but the brightest aspect of your appeal is how affectionate you are to those you care for. Unless depressed or otherwise weighed down by circumstance, your presence is naturally cozy and very soothing to others, even if you don’t quite understand why.

-Others can see and feel the warm aura that surrounds you and makes them feel like anywhere with you is a safe space.

-Another thing you may notice is that people open up to you very easily, telling you all about their dreams, hopes, aspirations and other things that you wouldn’t normally discuss with a stranger.

-You also may be extremely creative, whether in the way that you think and dream, or in the things that you do (music, design, writing, dance, poetry, etc). This is one of the more promising aspects for love and relationships, and these may come relatively easily without too much effort on your part.

-Of course, for every dawn there is dusk: you may be rather lazy, self-indulgent, and greedy, if not careful to keep your desires under control. However, with a bit of self-reflection and determination to improve, you will get along in life just fine.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Moon Trine Venus in Synastry

-If your Moon trines someone's Venus (or the other way around), you could have more compassion for each other than for other people.

-There will be a strong emotional connection between you.

-Others might complain that you let each other get away with everything, lol.

-There's an unspoken "handle with care" vibe between you that's very sweet.

-It can be hard to suppress this vibe if being close with that person is wrong or taboo in some way (e.g. coworkers, boss, etc.).

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mars Opposite Neptune

-May try to present an image that fits the social expectations of their environment instead of their current reality (esp. with 1H Mars).

-Tends to hide internal insecurities with external confidence that may seem unnatural or "fake"

-Depending on where Neptune is placed, certain people or places will appear to be safe, leading the native to reveal themselves more clearly, only to find out it was a trick.

-People who can see past their brave façade will either try to be safe space for then, or will study their insecurities to take advantage of them

-Can be a prime target for energy vampires, narcissists, etc., if unhealthy/unevolved

-They are a frequent topic of discussion in their social groups; can be positive in some cases or if other aspects outweigh this one, but with mars opposing neptune, these natives are usually gossiped about/slandered more than anything else

-Their morals/ethics can appear questionable to others due to Neptune's influence clouding the native's good intentions and honest motivations behind their actions.

-They may notice that people often accuse them of being sneaky or seeming "sus" without being able to give any real reason.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Venus Square Jupiter

-Highly motivated to create things, but often lacks the right skill set to do so

-May try to sooth their frustration by spending large sums to own luxury goods

-Draws others in with their playful, mildly risky sense of humor

-Makes friends easily but can lose them all to long periods without contact, irreconcilable differences in religion or politics, or generally drifting apart

-Charming and fun to be around, but can be extremely selfish in connections

-Often has lonely spells because their loved ones find them too demanding

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Saturn in Pisces

-You may be hard on yourself and not see your talents and abilities for what they truly are. Learning to trust your intuition and nurture self-confidence will help a lot.

-You could tend to hold on to the past and have trouble letting pain go. Often paranoid or defensive as a means of self-protection

-Highly compassionate and may be extremely practical too, Can struggle to draw the line where you end and others begin.

-You are patient and will often forgo your own comfort in the present to help others or to achieve a greater good in the future

-Usually artistic, or highly appreciative of artistic traits and creations from others

-Might turn to religion or some other kind of spirituality for structure and faith in life

-Your feet can give trouble, perhaps pain in the bones or issues with walking/gait

-You're sensitive and feel vulnerable or unprotected in life, even if you don't admit it.

-Victim or martyr complexes are common if not avoided through self-reflection and overcoming negative thoughts and emotions

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Mercury in Leo in 12H

-Can have a dramatic or over-confident way of speaking

-Very charismatic, enthusiastic; impossible for others to ignore

-Wants to be noticed and admired for the things they choose to say- May share their thoughts and opinions often hoping for feedback

-Sometimes aloof, reserved; struggles to express certain emotions

-Might keep part of themselves locked away from others at all times

-Tends to explore their environment more than their inner world

-Could have sporadic issues with short-term memory or comprehension

-Too much overthinking can lead to depression and self-imposed isolation

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Neptune Opposite Ascendant

-You might not have a set persona and will appear one way today and completely different tomorrow.

-It's possible that your appearance, mannerisms, and speech change drastically from one day to the next.

-Others may see you as a shapeshifter or even deceptive in some way. At best, you're generally unpredictable and confusing to those around you.

-Only a few can see clearly through the fog without you having to explain yourself. These people often become your best friends or even romantic partners.

-You give off varying auras at different times to different people so it's not uncommon people with this aspect to have one set of friends who know them to be one way, and others who know them to completely different.

-E.g. seeming reserved or shy in one friend group, naïve and innocent in another, mysterious and dark with a 3rd, outgoing and free-spirited with others, etc.).

-Depending on your personal tolerance for chaos, you may spend an enormous amount of time and energy keeping your friends/friend groups from ever meeting each other.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Sun Conjunction Mercury

-The self is expressed in a natural, flowing way; charismatic and a great talker

-May enjoy intellectual topics but struggle to be objective about them

-Connects well with other as they easily & quickly adjust their tone and delivery

-Talks more than listens, easily distracted unless others are equally engaging

-Great public speakers, writers, etc., but can be unreliable and procrastinating

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Jupiter Opposite Sun in Synastry

-This can signal a difference of opinion between you and your partner on key topics, such as religion, philosophy, politics, etc.

-This does not have to be a bad thing, but it can cause conflict between partners with strong egos who aren't so invested in making things work.

-But if both are committed to going the distance with each other, they should hear each other out and see their differences as opportunities to learn and grow together.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mars Trine Neptune

-Highly creative; can bring fantasies to life in some shape or form

-Usually cultured and can hold their own in a variety of environments

-Action-oriented, yet charming and persuasive; liked by others

-Quick to defend those who cannot defend themselves

-Has knowledge of theoretical things, but struggles in day-to-day life

-Could easily become a starving artist due to their impracticality

-May seek partnerships with people who possess life skills they lack

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Moon Conjunct Uranus

-Requires a lot of personal space and almost total freedom. Highly independent and hates relying on others for anything or being misjudged.

-Has a busy aura or a buzzing kind of underlying energy, even at rest, but is easily drained emotionally. People view them as unpredictable and hard to pin down.

-May be called energizer bunny or simply get lots of comments from people telling them to relax/slow down, even when they're not doing anything.

-Can inspire others easily, from the small things like getting chores/assignments done, to the big things like career changes, moving overseas, starting a business or relationship, etc.

-Lives life completely on their own terms; very unhappy if forced to submit to anyone else's agenda

-Has strong words for those who try to control or "fix" them; will only befriend the most open-minded people.

-May seem open and like the type to wear their heart on their sleeve, but are quite detached and show only what they want others to see

-Prone to conceal their true emotional state and convince themselves and others that they've said how they felt when they have. Hold things in until they inevitably explode.

-Can be stubborn or not like being told what to do, but makes up for it with their conversational charm and quick-thinking/problem-solving abilities

-Wants to be included and important to the family (biological or otherwise) but does not want to held hostage or smothered by others' emotional demands

-Can become very restless if life becomes too dull/stagnant. Needs constant stimulation and may spend a lot of time consuming media on the Internet.

-Might feel differently about things from one moment to the next. Highly impulsive

-Starts new friendships/relationships with a lot of passion and attentiveness; struggles to keep this up long-term; often accused of becoming nonchalant

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Mercury Conjunct Pluto

-Seeks challenges; does not like to deal with anything that is too easy

-Persuasive speakers who convince others with flawless arguments

-Can be extremely stubborn and believe that they are alright right

-May study psychology or be more interested in the topic than most

-Highly diplomatic; they would rather sway than slay their opponent

-Quick, but chaotic thinkers. Others find it hard to keep up with them

-Naturally inclined to the sciences; easily notices causes and effects

-Leaves no stone unturned; will not try to escape their problems

-Can be somewhat overzealous in communication and alienate friend

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Chiron in 3H

-Might talk a little too much at all the wrong times. Even if the quieter type, they can end up oversharing without realizing it, which might not be the worst thing in the world if they are generally popular and well-liked, but it can be devastating if people already don't like them before they even open their mouths.

-Regardless of social standing, they can have problems in the workplace if they reveal the wrong things to the wrong people. Either getting into hot water with HR because of the way someone interpreted the things they said, or losing opportunities for promotion because something got back to a manager and ruined their reputation.

-Often, these people had social problems in childhood that never got resolved and continue to follow them into adulthood. A lot of it has to do with not being listened to and feeling ignored or like they had to outdo themselves constantly to be noticed. This often leads to people pleasing or becoming clingy with anyone who shows (or appears to show) genuine interest in them as a person.

-People with this placement can go from being the chatterbox or trauma dumping friend to being THAT person who everyone goes to for advice or even just to listen to because of the interesting stories and thoughts you have to share.

-People with Chiron in the 3rd house can overcome the negative aspects of this placement by becoming more mindful of how quickly one gets comfortable with others. That's not to say you have to be standoffish or aloof, but just consider whether something really needs to be said before saying it. With time and practice, you can become an excellent and highly empathetic communicator who knows what to say and when to say it.

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

Natal Lilith Sextile Ascendant

- Can physically manifest in the native being extremely tall or short

-Often appears confident no matter how they really feel about themselves

-Usually gains genuine confidence and increased self-esteem with age

-Might enjoy saying or doing things that shock or surprise others

-Attracts sexual attention without intending to, or realizing others feel this way

-Can trigger very strong reactions in other people, especially if female/feminine

-May be shunned by the majority of women, or the topic of their conversations

-Misjudged by people who have no intention of getting to know them or the truth

˖°.🪐.ೃ࿔*:･

↤ go back to the masterlist

[itsclydebitches]

Just finished Good Omens 2 and I'm honestly boggling at the Aziraphale hate because yes, his decision led to the angsty cliffhanger, but it makes SO much sense for his character. Not just in a "Religious brainwashing and sunk-cost fallacy" kinda way but also a "Aziraphale has no reason to believe this isn't the perfect solution" way. That scene among the nebula is crucial because it establishes that Crowley loved being an angel—reveled in his ability to create and allow his creations to grow kinda like plants—and the only problem was that someone else was calling the shots, someone who wouldn't listen to his criticism. Aziraphale has also spent 6,000+ years watching Crowley do good, all the while forced to deny the fact that he's "nice" lest embracing his original nature get him into trouble with hell. Now, Metatron comes along with an offer that fixes everything in one fell swoop. Crowley can be an angel again, be nice without censure, his ideas and criticisms will hold weight because he'll be answering to Aziraphale, and they'll be together.

It strikes me that Aziraphale isn't there when Crowley sees Gabriel's trial, ergo he likewise doesn't see the (non)acknowledgement that there's an institutional problem up in Heaven. There just happen to have been two archangels who called it quits. Same when Gabriel blurts that phrase out to Crowley. Aziraphale has always been more blind to the ways in which Heaven is "toxic" (for very understandable reasons) and this season he's continually sheltered from new evidence of its structural problems. The plot just preaches to the choir: Crowley. He likewise wouldn't see the conflict Gabriel and Beelzebub have caused as evidence of an underlying problem because that's a problem he and Crowley will no longer share. Why would they be worried about Heaven still being unable to accept partnerships between angels and demons when Crowley will no longer be a demon? And that's something he presumably wants based on Aziraphale's memories of him and the ongoing admission that he's lonely.

The way I see it, they got what they thought they wanted at the start of Season 2. Heaven and Hell are keeping an eye on them, but functionally they're left alone. Crowley can spend all the time he wants with Aziraphale and nothing comes of that except that they're both continually named traitors and the higher-ups grumble about it. If Gabriel had never shown up, things should have been perfect based on Crowley's "Let's just run away and have each other's company" standards. Better, even, considering that they get to be together on their beloved Earth, rather than being bored out in Alpha Centauri without any sushi, plants, books, or Bentleys. And yet... Crowley doesn't strike me as particularly happy. Because, you know, based on that kiss he wants to be with Aziraphale, not just literally be with him, but the point of this post is that his "Let's run away and be an 'us'" falls totally flat when he doesn't explain that specific desire to Aziraphale; the desire to change what an 'us' means. From Aziraphale's perspective they're already an 'us.' That was the entire point of "our side" in Season 1 and now they can continue to be 'us' up in Heaven. Plus, Aziraphale likely sees this as a sacrifice on his part. He will give up his bookshop, his Earthly indulgences, take on the responsibilities of leadership (which I don't think he actually wants for a variety of reasons), and spend the rest of eternity in a place where he's felt so small because he thinks that's what Crowley wants. Crowley was happy as an angel. Crowley wanted them to be together without risk of permanent discorporation. They were able to achieve that after not-Armageddon and he still wasn't happy... so surely those two things together will do the trick. Crowley never actually articulates how he wants their relationship to change and the kiss comes much too late, when he's already rejected what Aziraphale must see as a perfect, selfless solution he's secured for them. Even if Crowley wasn't always moving too fast for him, an overture of romance isn't going to go well after that.

Is this crushing and angsty and devastating as a hiatus? Damn straight, my heart it breaking. But it's a good setup. More importantly, it makes perfect sense for their characters, particularly when they're still talking past one another. Aziraphale is someone who has always moved more slowly as a matter of course, as an angel he has remained immersed in the rhetoric of Heaven, his main avenue of breaking free of that (Crowley) has a huge communication problem (to say nothing of his own denial. He only made headway with the help of Nina and Maggie, seconds before Aziraphale shows up), and Metatron (in a no doubt incredibly manipulative manner) has just offered Aziraphale a job that presumably makes him happy AND Crowley happy AND allows him to maintain the moral this-is-how-the-universe-works perspective he's had since he was literally created. Of course he's going to say yes to all that!! And sure, there are problems in Heaven, Aziraphale isn't completely blind, but he can fix them now that he's in charge. How? Well... he'll figure that out later! Kinda like how he's been making plans on the fly this entire season. That seems logical from his perspective, right? It's not like he's gotten a crash-course in the concept of the master's tools never being able to dismantle the master's house...

[3hks]

How to Get Better at Writing Without Actually Writing

Are you looking to improve your writing without needing to write? I'll admit, I am definitely that kind of person--I have the hardest time even finding something interesting to write--despite that, I have noticed that my writing has vastly improved over the past year or two when it was hardly a hobby, and here's how I did it!

ANALYZE DIFFERENT WORKS

Yes yes, everyone tells you to READ, READ, and READ, even I will agree. However, unlike what some people tell you, you don't actually have to read all those classics like Heart of Darkness or The Hobbit. Of course, those books are very beneficial, but if you find no interest in those types of books (like me), then don't read them!

If you prefer reading casual stories posted by online authors, whether it be a fanfiction or their own, original story, it still qualifies as reading! As long as you are able to find a work that you particularly enjoy, that's all you need!

When reading, the key to improving at writing is to always study the story. Take a moment to look at certain words or phrases that stick out to you. How does the author use them? What do they mean? Keep track of the characters' development and how it affects them. Additionally, note things like powerful scenes, dialogue, and more to have an idea of how you can create something just as impactful. For example, if a text made you cry, think about how and why you reacted like that. This can actually help you re-create events that hold the same effectiveness, if not more!

To add on, if you really dislike reading just that much, then you can always analyze things like shows, movies, etc. However, this will prove to be less efficient because you often don't get access to the text behind the shows. Still, it's a good way to study the plot, characters, character developments, dialogue, and relationships!

2. PROOFREADING

No, I'm not saying that you should be an editor; this actually ties back to my first tip. Remember how I said that if you don't want to read classics, then don't? Well, this is because forcing yourself to read them is completely unnecessary (unless you like them or want to write like the author, of course). As a matter of fact, reading poorly written stories can be very helpful for improvement!

When we read books or novels that have obvious grammar errors, repetitive words, and choppy sentences, we will realize these mistakes and point them out to ourselves. Being able to scout out faults means that we are able to learn from them and grow! Noticing these things will also help prevent you from making the same or similar mistakes!

3. STUDY TIPS ONLINE

I used to go search up websites on Google whenever I wanted help with a certain topic. Of course, not all of the sites are reliable and/or helpful, but some point out good ideas that a couple of us just need! This can be especially useful regarding the things that we are unfamiliar with when writing. They can offer a base foundation and tips on how to start and finish!

They can also serve as a great inspiration for fresh ideas and new perspectives!

Yes, these three tips are pretty simple; however, I have found that they work very well for me! People vary from person-to-person, so it can't be guaranteed the same effect, but this is the best I got! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! <3

Happy writing~

3hks :)

[bayjaruchel]

Never Too Much

－－－

Pairing: Mike Schmidt (2023)/AFAB Reader

Rating: Explicit

Summary: There are certain things that your boyfriend really likes to do. (2.2k, mostly cunnilingus | originally posted on ao3) | Masterlist )

－－－

Mike takes his time with you, when he can. 

He likes being able to pace himself. By now, he knows your body very well; every curve and harsh edge, every single little detail. He's traced up your contours with his fingertips and kissed all the way back down again. Even though he's generally not the best at keeping calm, he's a very patient lover when given the chance to be. After your first few— and frantic — times together, he's slowed down considerably. 

However, there are still exceptions to that pattern.

Like when you don't have the time for anything slow; such as the minutes before he has to get ready for work. When you're both still a little groggy, but still need each other. Or when he knows he won't be free for most of the day, and you want to make it up to him. You fumble for each other, a determined clash of hands and lips and warm skin, both desperate to make the other person finish first. The sheets get twisted awkwardly around his legs— the hardwood floor makes your knees sore— but it's completely and utterly worth it. For every time you can't properly make love— in the purest definition of the phrase— there's always going to be a time when you leave each other completely breathless and spent afterward. No matter the technique, he's mastered the art of thoroughly taking you apart. 

There is one specific thing that Mike just can't be patient with, though. 

"Shit—" 

He's always been eager to eat you out. 

No matter the time or place. It could be during one of those brief periods, or during the long hours of the night where you have all the time in the world. He just can't wait. And he isn't waiting right now, even redoubling his efforts when you tighten your grip in his hair. His head bobs, slightly, as he drags his tongue through your gathering wetness, up towards the aching apex of your pleasure. 

A gasp is punched from your lungs when Mike closes his lips around your clit and sucks, for just a moment, before returning to your cunt. He shifts forward to get even deeper than before, lapping at you in broad strokes, equally calculated and clumsy. His enthusiasm is palpable, as usual. The sounds he's making— almost filthy slurping, accompanied by little moans now and then that send pleasant vibrations through you— they fill the air, easily overpowering everything else. His eyelashes flutter now and then, but occasionally he looks up at you, taking you in. You know how you look: nearly as disheveled as him. 

Your thighs twitch as he continues to savor you. Whenever he moves back up to gently flick your clit with his tongue, his breath comes in hot puffs through his nostrils. He always takes a deep inhale before diving back in, totally uncaring towards the way his spit and your slick must be dripping down his chin. He's not afraid to get messy. In fact, you think he likes it— he likes the evidence of your arousal clinging to your stubble, the knowledge of what he does to you. The knowledge of what he can do to you.  "Mike," you gasp again, "oh, fuck. That's— that's so good— " 

His mouth is still occupied, but he hums, muffled into your cunt. The praise has always done something for him. But you don't just say it because he likes it— you say it because you mean it, truly. The fact that you can see his hips shift a little at your words is just an added bonus. He hasn't even attempted to reach down to touch himself yet, even though you know he must be tenting his boxers. Even though you know that by the time you get close, there'll be a wet spot in the fabric.  

"You don't even have to beg for it anymore," you tease, even though you're too breathless for it to really land, "you know I'll let you do this again and again, even if I'm supposed to be doing something else." You're a sucker for him, and he knows it. Biting your lower lip, you use the hand in his curls to tug him closer. He's just like putty in your hands. "Maybe you like to beg a little, huh? Is that right?" 

You decide to take his answering moan as a yes. Mike looks up at you with heavy hazel eyes— pleading, again— wanting to tell you what he wants, but he also doesn't want to stray from his task at hand. Sometimes you wonder what you did to earn this. It's practically worship, at this point. You make a hasty mental note to repay him later, but it's hard to concentrate when he's putting all of his effort into pushing you towards your orgasm. You can feel your muscles tensing, the heat in your abdomen building—   

He's gradually focusing more and more of his attention on your clit now. But he's still dragging his tongue through your cunt, tasting you, collecting what's accumulating there. You jolt when his nose bumps against your sensitive nub, providing much-needed friction in the absence of his tongue. Although you definitely aren't the first person that he's done this to, you know for a fact that you're the person he's done this the most to. How do you know? He's told you himself. 

Cuntdrunk is a good word to describe him. If he could, he'd live between your thighs forever. 

You choke on a whimper. Mike takes in that sound— greedily, needily, he needs more. Scrambling to get a grip on one of your knees, he squeezes it once, pulling it closer to his head. And you understand the signal immediately. You close your thighs around his head, essentially trapping him where he is. Forcing him deeper. His brow furrows, nose pressed against your clit. The first time he wanted you to do this, you were afraid that he'd suffocate; that you'd hurt him. But by now, you're well aware that it won't happen, as long as you're careful not to push him down too much. 

He really likes being pushed like this, though. It empties his head, he says. Yours is pretty empty at the moment, too. You're blissfully absent, hardly tethered to Earth. You only really register the feeling of his hair tickling your thighs and shins, from where you've got them positioned— the pillow underneath your hips— his tongue. The pace he's keeping now is almost feverish— 

— minutes pass, and you're so, so, close. You can feel it, toes curling when he sucks on your clit again. You can't bite back the sounds that you're making anymore, your mouth falling open as your breathing grows more uneven the closer you get. Your thighs tighten an increment, your heart pumping furiously. The sensations are nearly overwhelming, but you can do little except take what he's giving you. "Just like that— mmhn — keep going, that's perfect—" 

You're teetering on the edge for a split second, but what finally pushes you over is another glance downward. Mike is— to put it simply — ruined. 

His hair's all messy from when you'd been tugging at it earlier, his cheeks a brilliant red. Almost the entire lower half of his face proudly displays the confirmation of what he's been doing this entire time. If his eyes weren't shut, you know they would be hazy, glazed-over— you haven't even touched him yet, disregarding a few kisses— and he's already fucked-out. All because of you. 

"Mike!" You squirm, eyes squeezing shut, "Mike, I'm—" 

He groans into your pussy when you cum, eagerly licking up all the remnants of your orgasm. The coil unwinds in waves, which crash through your lower body. 

He works at you until the abrupt heat in your gut fades away, replaced by a relaxed warmth, and you start shuddering with oversensitivity. 

You could let him continue— he'd keep going for as long as he possibly could. He'd make you cum as many times as humanly possible if you let him. However, you release his head from between your thighs instead, letting your legs slip down to lay on his shoulders. As soon as he's free, he starts taking deep lungfuls of air, catching his breath. Just like you. Which is sort of ironic, since he was the one doing all the work. 

He rests his cheek on your inner thigh, leaving a wet smear there. You can't really bring yourself to care, though. 

Mike looks at you, still bleary-eyed. 

" 'S good?" He asks, hoarsely. 

You know you're not done with him yet. 

"Yeah." Fondly, you smile down at him. He easily returns it. When you scooch back to sit up against the headboard, he instinctively shuffles forward to fill the newly created space. Your eyes flick downward when he goes to sit up, too, finally exposing his lap— 

"Uh." Mike clears his throat. 

"Could you … " He trails off, but you doubt it's entirely because of embarrassment. 

"I was already planning on it," you reply lightly, already going to place one hand on the back of his neck to tug him closer. He goes, and positions himself so he's hovering over you; spreading his knees just so, he's still looking at you reverently. 

"That's good," he breathes. 

"You want me to suck you off or something?" The suggestion is extremely casual, like always. But his breath still audibly hitches, and he swallows.  

"... You want me to blow in five seconds?" 

Snorting, you thumb over his cheek. He leans into your touch, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "I'm serious," he insists, voice low. "It'd be really terrible. You don't want that, right?" 

"I don't know." You shrug as best you can. "It's kind of hot, knowing that you got that worked up from just eating me out." 

He contemplates this for a second. 

"Fair enough." 

But then, he drops his tone and murmurs, "I still don't want it to end that quickly." 

"You don't?" 

"I don't." 

You let out a long, dramatic sigh, and pretend to ignore the snicker it elicits from him. 

"But I was looking forward to returning the favor." 

It's Mike's turn to shrug. "Plenty of other opportunities for that later, y'know." 

Admitting defeat is the worst thing ever. 

"I guess you're right," you concede. "Fine." 

"I guess I'm— " he starts to mimic under his breath, but the rest of his words are expelled in a single whoosh when you squeeze him through his boxers. "— fuck." 

A crease forms between his eyebrows again as you continue to feel him out. You were right. Near where his tip was resting, you can feel a small, slightly damp spot. It's enough to make you throb, once— no matter how many times this happens, you'll never get used to this. Your patience is quickly failing, like his.

"You were saying?" You ask innocently, while hooking your fingers in his waistband. 

Mike quickly shifts from his previous snark, right back to need. 

"I was— I was saying—" His tongue darts out to moisten his lips, "— how much I need you to touch me right now. " The last part of his sentence is barely a whisper. "Please."   

And there it is, you want to quip, but you think you've done enough for now. His boxers come off easily, and you unceremoniously wrap your hand around his cock. That's enough to make him shudder, a small noise escaping his parted lips. There's no need for build-up anymore, so you just start pumping him. He quakes, and then leans in, nudging your nose with his. Wordlessly asking permission. 

You can still taste a little of yourself on his tongue when you kiss him, leisurely. You drink in what was previously muffled by your cunt. He twitches in your palm, lips pliant and tender against yours, but still a discernible force. A comfortable presence, sharing the same breaths as you. He kisses you again and again until he has to draw back for air. 

Mike breathes your name, high-pitched and trembling, as warmth shoots into your hand a few minutes later. 

"That's it," you murmur, coaxing the rest of it out of him, "that's it. There you go." 

You both just lay there for a couple of long moments. It feels like raw electricity wherever your bare skin is touching his. It's like a current, of sorts. He's still shaking, faintly, either from the exertion or the fact that he's most likely still a little oxygen-deprived. It's probably a nice mix of both. But when that subsides, you both reluctantly roll off the bed, clumsily plodding to the bathroom to get cleaned up. 

The tile is cool underneath your bare feet. He stands nice and still as you clean your dried cum off his face. You stay nice and still while he cleans you up, too.

When you're throwing the used towel in the laundry bin, he speaks up. Now that the residual heat has faded, you can feel goosebumps starting to prickle across your skin. 

"I love you," he says. 

You are both naked, a little damp, and standing in the bathroom. 

But somehow, it all fits together. It makes sense. 

You turn to face him. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, and his hands automatically land on your hips. Mike watches you, obvious worry glimmering in his eyes. He's unsure if that was the right thing to say. 

Then: 

"I love you," you conclude. 

The tension all but melts from his shoulders. 

[felikatze]

ISAT and Ludonarrative Harmony: Combat is a Storytelling Tool

Or: How Siffrin is stuck in the endgame grind, forever

Please Note: This is primarily aimed at an audience that already played In Stars and Time, because I am bad at explaining things, and it's good to already know what the fuck I'm talking about. I tend to only bring up game elements as I want to talk about them.

Spoilers for.... all of ISAT! Especially Act 5!

(image to show how i feel posting this and as an attention grabber over my wall of text)

To pull a definition of ludonarrative harmony out of a hat, game writer Lauryn Ash defines it as follows:

Ludonarrative harmony is when gameplay and story work together to create a meaningful and immersive experience. From a design implementation perspective, it is the synchronized interactions between in-game actions (mechanics) and in-world context (story).

It is, generally speaking, how well game mechanics work hand in hand with the story. I, personally, think ISAT is an absolute masterclass of it, so I want to take a look at how ISAT specifically uses its battle system to emphasize Siffrin's character arc and create organic story moments. I want you to keep this in mind when I talk here.

So, skills, right? If you've played any turn-based RPG, you know your Fire spells, your "BACKSLASH! AIRSLASH! BACKSLASH!" and the many ways to style those.

Well, what does casting "Fire" say about your character? Not all that much, does it? Perhaps you'll have typical divisions. The smart one is the mage, the big brawny one is your tank, the petite one's the healer. And that's the barebones of ISAT's main party, but it's much more than that.

Every character's style of combat tells you something about them. Odile, the Researcher, is the most well-travelled and knowledgable of the bunch. She's the one with the expertise to keep a cool head and analyze the enemy, yet also able to use all three of the Rock-Paper-Scissors craft types.

To reflect her analytical view of things, all her skill names are just descriptive, the closest to your most bog-standard RPG. "Slow IV" or "Paper III" serve well to describe their purpose. The high number of the skills gives the impression there were three other Slow skills beforehand - fitting, considering the party starts at level 45, about to head into the final dungeon. She's also the oldest, so she's the slowest of the bunch.

Isabea, the Fighter, has all his skills in exclamation points. "YOUR TURN!!!" "SO WEAK!!!" "SMASH!!!" they're straightforward, but excited. He's a purposefully cheerfull guy, so his skills revolve around cheering on his allies. He's absolutely pumped to be here, and you see that from his skill names alone.

Mirabelle, the Housemaiden, is an interesting case. She's by all means the true protagonist of this tale - She's the one "Chosen by the Change God," the only one who survived the King's first attack, the only one immune to his ability to freeze time, the only dual-craft type of the game - just a lot of things. And her skill names reflect that facade she puts on herself - she can do this, she can win! She has to believe it, or else she starts doubting. This is how you get "Jolly Round Rondo" and "Mega Sparkle Heal" or "Adorable Moving Cure." She's styled every bit a sailor scout shojo heroine, and her moveset replicates the naming conventions of "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"

Even Bonnie, the Kid, who can't be controlled in combat, has named craft skills. And they very much reflect that Bonnie is, well, a kid. "Wolf Speed Technique" or "Thousand Blows Technique" are very much the phrasings of a child who learned one complicated word and now wants to use it in everything to seem cooler than they are, which is none, because they're twelve.

Siffrin's skills are all puns.

You have an IMMEDIATE feel for personality here. Between "Knife to Meet You!" and "Too Cleaver by Half," you know Siffrin's the type to always crack a joke no matter the situation, slinging witticisms around to put Sonic the Hedgehog to shame. It's just such a clever way to establish character using a game mechanic as old as the entire history of RPGs.

This is only the baseline of the way the combat system feeds into the story, though.

The timeloop, of course, feeds into it. Siffrin is the only character who retains experience upon looping, whereas all other characters are reset to their base level and skills. And it sucks (affectionate).

You're extremely likely to battle more often the earlier in the game you are - after all, you need the experience (for now.) Every party member contributes, and Siffrin isn't all that strong on their own, since they focus on raw scissor type damage with the addition of one speed buff. (Of course it's a speed buff. They're a speedy fucker. Just look at him).

At first, the difference in level between Siffrin and the rest of the group is rather negligible. Just a level or two. Just a bit more speed and attack. And then Siffrin grows further and further apart. Siffrin keeps learning new skills. He gets a healing skill that doubles as an attack boost, taking away from both Mirabelle's and Isabeau's usefullness. He gets Craft skills of every type that even give you two jackpot points instead of one - thus obliterating Odile's niche. Siffrin turns into a one-person army capable of clearing most encounters all on their own.

Siffrin's combat progression is an exact mirror of story progression - as their experience inside the loops grows, they also grow further and further away from their party. The party seems... weaker, slower, clumsier. Always back at their starting point, just as all of their character arcs are reset each loop. Never advancing, always stagnant. And you have Siffrin as the comparison post right next to them.

I also want to point out here a change from Act 2 to Act 3 - Siffrin's battle portrait. He stops smiling.

Battles keep getting easier. This is true both for the reason that Siffrin keeps growing stronger even when all enemies stay the same, but also for the reason that you, the player, learn more about the battle system and the various encounters, until you've learned perfect boss clear strategies just from repetition. Have you ever watched a speedrunner play Pokemon? They've played this game so many times, they could do it blindfolded and sleeping. Your own knowledge and Siffrin's new strength work in tandem to trivialize the game's entire combat system as the game progresses.

(Is it still fun? Playing it over, and over, and over again? Is it?)

You and Siffrin are in sync, your experience making everything trivial.

As time goes on, Siffrin grows to care less and less about performing right for their party and more and more about going fast. A huge moment in his character is marked by the end of Act 3; because of story events I won't delve too deeply into, Siffrin has grown afraid of trying something new. And his options of escape are closing in. They need an answer, and they need it fast. He doesn't have the time or patience to dumb himself down, so you unlock one new skill.

It doesn't occur with level up, or with a quest, or anything at all. At the start of Act 4, it simply appears in Siffrin's Craft skills.

(Just attack.)

No pun. No joke. Just attack. Once you notice, the effect is immediate - here you have it, a clear sign of how jaded Siffrin has become, right at every encounter. And it's a damn good attack, too! The only available attack in the game that deals "massive" damage against all enemies. Because it doesn't add any jackpot points (at least, it's not supposed to), you set up a combo with everybody else, but Siffrin simply tears away at the enemy with wild abandon. Seperated from the rest of the party by the virtue of no longer needing to contribute to team attacks (most of the time. It's still useful if they do, though).

Once again, an aspect of the battle system enhances the degree of separation between Siffrin and the static characters of his play. You're incentivized to separate him, even.

Additionally, there are two more skills to learn. They're the only skills that replace previous skills. You only get them at extremely high levels, the latter of which I didn't even reach on both of my playthroughs.

The first, somewhere in the level 70 range, Rose Printed Glasses, a paper type craft skill, is replaced by Tear You Apart. It's still a pun about paper, but remarkedly more vicious.

The second is even more on the nose. At level 80, In A While, Rockodile!, a rock type craft skill, is replaced by the more powerful Rock Bottom.

I didn't get to level 80. If you do, you pretty much have to do it on purpose. You have to keep going much longer than necessary, as Siffrin is just done. And the last skill he learns is literally called Rock Bottom.

What do I even need to say, really.

Your party doesn't stay static forever, though.

By doing their hangout quests, side quests throughout the loops that result in Siffrin and the character having a heart to heart, all of them unlock what I'd call an "ultimate" skill. You know the type - the character achieved self-fulfillment, hit rank 10 on their confidant, maxed out their skill tree, and received a reward for their trouble.

These skills are massively useful. My favorite is Odile's - it makes one enemy weak to all Craft types for several turns, which basically allows you to invalidate the first and third boss, as well as just clown on the King, especially once Siffrin starts racking up damage.

But the thing is. In Act 3, when you first get them, yeah, they're useful. But... do you need them? After all, they're such a hassle to get. You need to do the whole character quest again, you can't loop forward in the House or you'll lose them. If you want to take these skills to the King, you need to commit. Go the full nine-yards and be nice to your friends and not die and not skip forward or skip back. Which is annoying, right?

Well, I sure did think so during Act 4. After all, a base level party can still defeat the King, just with a few more tricky pieces involved. Siffrin can oneshot almost all basic enemies by the time of Act 4. It's this exact evalutation that you, the player, go through everytime you return to Dormont. Do I want this skill, still? Would it not be faster to go on without it? I'm repeating myself, but that's the thing! That's what Siffrin is thinking, too!

I also want to take a quick moment to note, here - all skills gained from hangouts have art associated with them, which no other skills do. This feature, the nifty art, hammers home these as "special" skills, besides just how they're unlocked.

Siffrin also has one skill with associated art.

Yeah, you guessed it, it's (Just attack.)

At first, helping the characters is tied to a hefty in-game reward, but that reward loses its value, and in return devalues helping Siffrin's friends every loop. It's too tedious for a skill that'll make a boss go by one turn faster. You, the player, grow jaded with the battle system. Grinding experience isn't worth it, everybody's highest levels are already recorded. Fighting bosses isn't worth it, it's much faster to loop forward.

Isn't this what all endgame in video games looks like? You already beat the final boss, and now... what challenge is left? Is there a point to keep playing? Most games will have some post-game content. A superboss to test your skills against, but ISAT doesn't have any of that. You're forever left chasing to the post-game. That's the whole point - to escape the game.

As most games get more difficult as time passes, ISAT only gets easier. The game becomes disinterested in expanding its own mechanics just as I ran out of new things to fight after 100%-ing Kingdom Hearts 3. Every encounter becomes a simple game of "press button to win."

The final boss just takes that one up a notch.

Spoilers for Act 5 ahead boys!

In Act 5, Siffrin utterly loses it. His last possible hope for escape failed him, told him there's nothing she can do, and Siffrin is trapped for eternity. So of course, they go insane and run up the entire House without their party.

This just proves what you already knew - you dont need the party to proceed. Siffrin alone is strong enough. And here, Siffrin has entirely shed the facade of the jokester they used to be. Every single skill now follows the (Just attack.) naming conventions. Your skills are: (Paper.) (Rock.) (Scissors.) (Breathe.)

To the point. Not a moment wasted, because Siffrin can't take a moment longer of any of this. Additionally, his level is set to 99 and his equipment becomes fixed. You can't even pick up items anymore! Not that you needed them at this point anyway, right? Honestly, I never used any items besides the Salty Broth since Act 2, so I stopped picking items up a long time ago. Now you just literally can't.

Something I've not talked about until now - one of the main equipment types in this game are Memories, gained for completing subquests or specific interactions and events. They all by and large have little effects - make Odile's tonics heal more, or have Mirabelle cast a shield at the start of combat. For the hangout events, you also gain an associated memory that boosts the characters' stats by 30. It lets them keep up with Siffrin again! A fresh wind! Finally, your party members feel on par with you again!

...For a time. And just like that, they're irrelevant again, just as helping them gave Siffrin a brief moment of hope that the power of friendship could fix everything.

In Act 5, your memory is set to "Memory of Emptiness." It allows you to loop back in the middle of combat. You literally can't die anymore. Not that Siffrin could've died by this point in the first place, unless you forgot about the King's instant-kill attack. This one memory takes away the false pretense that combat ever had any stakes. Siffrin's level being set to 99 means even the scant exp you get is completely wasted on them. All stakes and benefits from combat have been removed. It has become utterly pointless.

Frustrating, right? It's an artistic frustration, though. It traps you right here in Siffrin's shoes, because he hates that all these blinding Sadnesses are still walking around just as much. It all inspires just a tiny fraction of that deep rolling anger Siffrin experiences here in the player.

And listen, it was cathartic, that one time Siffrin snapped and stabbed the tutorial Sadness, wasn't it? Because who enjoys sitting through the tutorial that often? Siffrin doesn't. I don't, either.

So, since combat is an useless obstacle now meant to inspire frustration, what do you do for a boss? You can't well make it a gameplay challenge now, no. The bosses of Act 5 are an emotional challenge: a painful wait.

First, Siffrin fights the King, alone. This is already nervewracking because of one factor - in every other run, you need Mirabelle's shield skill, or else you're scripted to die. You're actually forced to fight the King multiple times in Act 3, and have to do it at least once in Act 4, though you'll likely do it more. Point is: you know how this fight works.

You know Siffrin's fight is doomed from the outset, but all you can do is keep slinging attacks. Siffrin is enough of a powerhouse to take the King's HP down, what with the healing and buff skills they have now, not to even mention you can just go all in on damage and then loop back.

(And no matter which way you play it, whether you just loop or use strategically, it reflects on Siffrin, too. Has he grown callous enough not even death will stop their mission? Or does he still avoid pain, as much as he can?)

This fight still allows you the artifice of even that much choice, not that it matters. The other shoe drops eventually - Siffrin becomes slower, and slower. Unsettling, considering this game works on an Action Gauge system. You barely get turns anymore. The screen gets darker, and darker. Until Siffrin is frozen in time, just as you knew he had to be, because you know how this encounter works, know it can't be cleared without Mirabelle.

And, then, a void.

Siffrin awakens to nothingness. The only way to tell you've hit a wall is if Siffrin has no walking animation to match your button inputs. You walk, and walk, until you're approached by.... you. The next enemy encounter of the game, and Siffrin's absolute lowest point: Mal Du Pays.

Or, "Homesickness," in english. If you know the game, you know why it's named this, but that's not the point at the moment.

Thing is, where you could damage the King and are damaged in turn, giving you at least a proper combat experience, even if its doomed to fail, Mal Du Pays has no such thing.

You can attack. You can defend. But it is immune to all attacks. And in return, it does nothing. It's common, at least, for undefeatable enemies to be a "survive" challenge, but nope. The entire fight is "press button and wait." Except, remember the previous fight against the King? The entire time, you were waiting for the big instant death attack to drop. That feeling, at least for me, carried forward. I was incredibly on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, as is a pattern, Siffrin is, too. As Siffrin's attacks fail to connect, they start talking to Mal Du Pays.

But he gets no response, as you get no attacks to strategize around. The wait for anything to happen is utterly agonizing. You and Siffrin are both waiting for something to happen. This isn't a fight. It just pretends to be. It's an utter rugpull, because Siffrin was so undefeatable for most of Act 4 and all of Act 5 so far. It's kind of terrifying!

and it does. It finally does something. Ma Du Pays speaks, in the voice of Siffrin's friends, listing out their deepest fears. I think it's honestly fantastic. You're forced to just sit here and listen to Siffrin's deepest doubts, things you know the characters could not say because it references the timeloops they're all utterly unaware of. This is all Siffrin, talking to himself. And all you, all Siffrin, can do, is keep wailing away on the enemy to no effect whatsoever.

So of course this ends with Siffrin giving up. What else can you do?

And then Siffrin's friends show up and unfreeze them and it's all very cool yay. The pure narrative scenes aren't really the main focus but I want to point out here:

A) Mirabelle is in the first party slot here, referencing how she's the de facto protagonist, and Bonnie fills in the fourth slot left empty, which shows all characters uniting to save Siffrin

B) this is the only instance of the other party members having act specific battle icons: they're all smiling brightly, further pushed by the upbeat music

C) the reflecting shield Mirabelle uses to freeze the King uses a variation of her hangout skill cut in, marking it as her true "final" skill and giving the whole fight a more climatic feeling.

It's also a short gameplay sequence with Siffrin utterly uninvolved in the battle. You can't even see them onscreen. But... it feels warm, doesn't it? Everybody coming together. Siffrin doesn't have to fight anymore.

At last, the King is defeated. Siffrin and co. make for the Head Housemaiden, to have her look at Siffrin's sudden illness. Siffrin is utterly exhausted, famished, running a fever. And this isn't unexpected - after all, their skills in Act 5 had no cooldown. For context, instead of featuring any sort of MP system, all skills work on a cooldown basis, where a character can't use it for a certain number of turns. The lowest cooldown is actually Siffrin's Knife to Meet You, which has a cooldown of 1. In universe, this is reasoned as the characters needing a break from spamming craft in order to not exhaust themselves.

Siffrin's skills in Act 5 having no cooldown/being infinitely spammable isn't a sign of their strength - it's a sign that he refuses to let himself rest in order to rush through as fast as possible.

Moving on, Siffrin panics when seeing the Head Housemaiden, because seeing her means one thing: the end. Prior to this in the game, every single time you beat the King, the loop ends when you talk to the Head Housemaiden.

Reality breaks down, the whole shebang. It's here that Siffrin realizes - they don't want the loops to end, because the end of their journey means their family will leave, and he'll be alone again. The happiest time of his life will be over.

Siffrin goes totally ballistic, to say the least.

As it turns out (and was heavily foreshadowed narratively), Siffrin has been using Wish Craft to subconciously cause the timeloop because of their abandonment issues. It's rather predictable if you paid attention to literally anything, but it's extremely notable how heavily Siffrin is paralleled to the King, the antagonist they swore to kill by themself at the start of Act 5. The King wants to freeze Vaugarde in time because it is, in his mind, "perfect," for accepting him after he lost his home - a backstory he shares with Siffrin.

Siffrin has become the exact antagonist he swore to kill, and it's shown by how the next fight utterly flips everything on its head.

Siffrin is the final boss.

In a towering form made of stars, Siffrin looks down at their friends. His face is terrified, because of his internal conflict; he can't hurt his friends, but he can't let them go, either. The combat prompt is simply changed to "END IT!"

This fight is similar to the previous, in that you just need to wait a certain number of turns until its over. However, this time, it's not dreadful suspense. It's... confusion, and hesitance.

You have two options for combat: Attack your friends, or attack yourself.

And... you don't really want to do either, I think. I certainly don't. But what else can you do? It's Siffrin's desires clashing in full force. Attack your friends, and force them to stay? Or attack yourself, and let them go safely without you?

Worth noting, here - when you attack Siffrin's friends, you can't harm them. Isabeau will shield all attacks. And when you attack yourself, Mirabelle will heal you back to full. And the friends don't... do anything, either. How could they? Occasionally, Mirabelle heals you and Isabeau shouts words of motivation, but the main thing is...

(Your friends don't know what to do.)

None of them want to harm Siffrin. Both sides simply stare at each other, resolute in their conviction but unwilling to end it with violence. It's of note that this loop, the last one, is the only loop where the King isn't killed. Just frozen. And now here is Siffrin, clamoring for the same eternity the King was. Of course everything ends in a tearfilled conversation as Siffrin sees their friends won't leave him, even after the journey ends, but I still have to appreciate this moment.

Siffrin is directly put in the position with their friends as his enemies, forced to physically reckon that keeping them in this loop is an act of violence, against both their friends, and against himself.

It's a happy ending. But... what does it mean?

Of course, ISAT is obviously about the fear of change. Siffrin is afraid of the journey ending, and of being alone. However, ISAT is also a game about games. Siffrin is playing the same game, over and over, because it's comforting. It's familiar. It's nice, to know exactly what happens next. These characters might just be predictable lines of dialogue, but... they feel like friends. Have you ever played a game, loved it, put countless hours into it, but you never finished it? Because you just couldn't bear to see it end? For the characters to leave your life, for there to be a void in your heart where the game used to be?

After all, maybe it became part of your routine! You play the game every day, slowly chipping away at it for weeks at a time. For me, I beat ISAT in four days. It utterly consumed me during this time. I had 36 hours of playtime by the end. Yeah, in that week, I did not do much more than play ISAT.

And once i beat it, i beat it, again. I restarted the game to see the few scenes I missed, most specifically the secret boss I won't talk about here. I... couldn't let go of the game yet. I wanted to see every scrap I could. I still do. I'm writing this, in part because I still do. It's scary to let go.

Ever heard the joke term of "Postgame Depression?" It's when you just beat a game, and you're suddenly sad. Maybe because the ending affected you emotionally and you need to process the feelings it invoked, or you search for something that can now fill your time with it gone.

The game ends, for real this time, the last time you talk to the Head Housemaiden. But Siffrin gets... scared. What if everything loops back again? And so, his family offers to hold his hand. They face the end, together.

For all loops, including the ending, you never see what happens after. After they leave the loop for good. Because the loop is the game itself. It's asking you to trust that life goes on for these characters, and it holds your hand as it asks you to let go. There's a reason for Siffrin's theater metaphors. He is the actor, and the director, asking everyone to do it over one more time. He's a character within the game, and its player.

There's a reason I talked about endgame content. This, the way it all repeats, there's nothing new, difficulty and stakes bleed away as you snap the game over your knee - it's my copy of White 2 with two hundred hours in it. It's me playing Fire Emblem Awakening in under 3 hours while skipping every cutscene. Are you playing for the sake of play, for the sake of indulging in your memories, because you're afraid of the hole it'll leave when you stop?

Of note: the narrative never condemns Siffrin for unwittingly causing their own suffering. He's a victim of circumstance. It's seen as endearing, even, that Siffrin loves their friends to the point of rather seeing the world destroyed than them gone. But Siffrin is also told: we'll stay with you for now, but we'll part ways eventually. And one day, you'll have to be okay with it.

Stop draining the things you love of every ounce of enjoyment just because you're afraid of what happens next. I'm not saying to never play your favorite games again. Playing ISAT a second time, I still had a lot of fun! I saw so many new things I didn't before, and I enjoyed myself immensely, reading the same dialogue over and over. But... it makes me look at other games I love and still play, and makes me ask... is this still fun? Do I still need to play this game to enjoy it? Even writing this is an afterimage of my enjoyment, but it's a new way to interact with the game, to analyze it through this lens. Fuck, man, I write fanfiction. Look at me.

All of this, fanart, fanfic, analysis, is a way to prolong that enjoyment without making yourself suffer for it. Without just going through the motions of enjoyment without actually experiencing any. But one day, the thing you love won't be fun to talk and write and draw about. And it's okay. You'll have new things to love. I promise.

In the end.... I'm certain I'll replay ISAT one day. Between great writing, art, puzzles and unresolved mysteries, it's my shoe-in for game of the year.

But I won't replay it for quite some time. I've had enough, for now, so I let my love take other forms.

Siffrin is never condemned, because love is no evil. Be it love for another person, or for a game. And please, if you're overempathetic - it's still a game, at the end of the day. The great thing about games is that you can always boot them up again, no matter how long its been.

A circle within a circle indeed.

To summarize:

The repetitiveness of ISAT's combat, lack of new enemies, and Siffrin's ever increasing strength eventually allows you to snap the combat over your knee, rendering it irrelevant and boring. Though this may seem counterproductive at first, it perfectly mirrors how Siffrin has also grown bored with these repeated encounters and views them only as an obstacle to get past. The reflection of Siffrin's own tiredness with the player's annoyance increases the compassion the player has for Siffrin as a character.

Additionally, the endgame state of the combat system serves as commentary on the state of a favorite game played too often, much like how Siffrin has unwittingly trapped themself in the loop. Despite the game having no more challenge or content left to over, a player might return to their favorite game anyway, solely to try and recreate the early experience of actually having fun with it. This ties into ISAT's metanarrative about the fear of change and refusal to let go of comfort even when the object (here, your favorite video game) offering that comfort has become utterly bereft of any substance to actually engage with. Playing for the sake of playing, with no actual investment to keep going besides your own memories.

Later on, stripping away even the pretense of strategy for a "press button and wait" format of final bosses highlights the lack of options at Siffrin's disposal and truly forces the player into their shoes. Truly, the only way to win is to stop playing.

[churipu]

hihi i love ur works sm and i was wondering if i can request where the reader has an argument w the jjk men?? preferably w nanamin + any other characters :3 thank you in advance ^___^

BAD BLOOD — ARGUMENTS WITH JJK MEN !

featuring. nanami kento, choso, megumi fushiguro x reader

warnings. cursing, yelling, slight angst (ends in fluff dw).

note. hi anon, thank you for loving my works, it means a lot to me. and i love this request, i've been feeling like crap for the whole day so this is just what i needed! i hope you like this one <;33 and for anons who have sent in request, i'm writing them down and keeping them in my drafts for daily posts, so don't worry about it!

NANAMI KENTO. i feel like arguments with nanami will be very soft but angry. nanami is a gentle person, and he just hates the thoughts of saying something hurtful to you — but do keep in mind that he won't always be very soft, he could be loud at times. but most of your arguments with him are soft spoken, the both of you exchanging thoughts and troubles.

for the past few days, nanami has been extremely overworked and so you're walking on eggshells around him. he gets sensitive, and the slightest bit of inconvenience angered him. yes, you get it — he's tired from his work, you could totally understand that. he's a busy man after all.

"kento, don't you want to take a break..? you've been working non-stop, you'll get sick," you eyed him, poking around your food.

nanami sat across from you, his eyes glued to a paper, and honestly, it was getting a little sickening. all you wanted to do was to talk to him, but you felt as if you were selfish if you asked the man to prioritize you over his work — so you stayed silent, for almost a week the two of you haven't exactly been conversing right, or talking unless it was an exchange of "hi"s and "bye"s. but that was about it.

"i need to get this done, wait a moment."

that phrase sounded like a template by now, and you huffed, rolling your eyes, "i know, i'm just worried about you. you're not getting enough sleep, you're not eating well, and at this point, i'm just afraid that you'll dig your own gra—"

"i can take care of myself, thank you. you don't have to worry about me, i know what i'm doing."

you can't help but to furrow your brows at his cold reply, a little offended when all you seemed to be doing was care for him. the least he could do was thank you for it, "god, you don't have to be such an ass about it. forgive me for caring then."

at this point, your words only added fuel to the already big fire. nanami stared at you, the exhaustion in his eyes are apparent, and his lips pursed into a thin line before he inhaled sharply, "you're being a child, i just told you i can take care of myself. please, don't argue with me on this. i'm tired with all these paperwork, don't add more burden for my shoulders."

you clicked your tongue, standing up, not wanting to engage on this particular conversation anymore, "well forgive me for caring and for being a burden. enjoy your dinner," was all you spat out at him before going to the living room — plopping your body down the couch.

arguments with him usually ends up with the both of you apologizing to each other, but this particular argument seemed to not just go the way how it usually does. a couple of hours later, none of you talked. you assumed that the male finished his dinner, and you saw him walk by you into your shared room.

the two of you refused to talk to each other, or even as little as making an eye contact. you figured that you'd just spend the night in the living room where the TV could keep you company, so you stormed inside your shared room where nanami was on the bed, eyes still on his beloved papers.

he said nothing, nor did he spare a glance at you. so you become a guest in your own bedroom and grabbed your pillow, it wasn't that chilly outside so you didn't grab the only blanket laying on the bed (you actually left it there for him to use, the ac could be pretty cold at times).

and he never came out, not until you fell asleep with the TV still on. nanami hadn't even slept, he'd gotten his work done hours ago — but still he couldn't sleep. not without you by his side.

the clock strikes fifteen minutes past three in the morning, and nanami pushed himself up from the bed — feeling the void beside him, even with the blanket; he felt cold. opening the door softly, he trudged out of the room, the sight of you all curled up on top of the couch, vivid lights shining from the TV still managing to light up the whole living room despite the lights being off.

he squats down in front of you, brushing your h/c hair out of your face and it made you turn in your sleep. although not enough to wake you up completely, nanami one of his arm under your upper back, and one under your legs. carrying you inside the room with soft steps before laying you down, not forgetting to tuck you under the blanket and leaving trails of butterfly kisses on your face.

he could finally sleep.

with the sun rays greeting you through the creases of your still covered window, you squirmed. groaning out.

"y/n?"

upon hearing nanami's voice, your eyes flutter open. of course — it was a surprise for you to wake up on the bed when you fell asleep on the couch, "did you carry me here?"

nanami nods, he was leaning onto the bed post, "i'm sorry. what i said to you was wrong," he softly said.

the anger you felt the other night was gone by now, and you were just glad that nanami was willing to talk to you. you shook your head with a small smile, "it was part of my fault too, you were working — i shouldn't have pestered you too much."

nanami wasted no time in pulling you towards him, "you were worried for me. never apologize for that."

like i said, arguments with nanami will always end pretty quickly (the two of you are mature enough to talk it out), oh and also? he spoils you the entire day after an argument so — have fun!

CHOSO. i feel like choso would be confused a lot during arguments with you, on one side i could see him being brazen with his words, and on the other side i could see him being careful with them. no in between, he's definitely scared of saying the wrong things to you — and you getting hurt emotionally, hurts him as well. so at times he just tries to end it quickly by saying sorry.

god, he hates seeing you sad. at the end of the day, if he did say things the wrong way (even if it was to defend himself when he's not wrong), choso will apologize to you for how he said his words (and you'll apologize for your mistake). but choso has his share of apologizing because of his mistake too.

"cho, are you listening to me? gosh, you never pay attention to what i'm saying, are you taking this seriously?" choso looks up at you with his brows furrowed, definitely frustrated by everything that was happening around him right now.

first of all, he expected today to be a very special day. he hasn't seen you for the past couple of days because you've been so busy with work, and he was so excited when you told him you'd be having a couple of days to rest. he couldn't wait to meet you and go out on dates with you.

but clearly, his expectations were shoved down the drain because here you both were — arguing over your work hours choso had brought up a few minutes prior. and all he said was that he wished that the both of you would have more time to spend together, which irked you.

it had been a rough week with work where you had to write and write and write on countless paperwork (which you couldn't really complain on because you signed up for the job). and you weren't afraid to admit that you were in the wrong this time, when all choso wanted was time with you. here you were, getting all riled up because he wished that he had more time with you, and if the roles were switched; you were pretty damn sure you'd say the same thing to him.

"'m sorry for bringing that up. can we go out now..? i don't wanna fight w' you." choso mumbled out, averting his gaze to the side.

his tone ripped you away from your anger and you sighed, pulling him into your embrace, "cho, 'm sorry. i shouldn't have taken my anger out on you just because i've had a rough week."

choso returned your embrace mutely, a small smile dawning upon his lips. he was just glad the argument was cut short. all he wanted to do now was to go out of this slump and make you the happiest person ever — even just for a moment, a couple of days before you eventually have to return back to work.

"cho, say something."

choso pulls away from your touch, "i forgive you. let's go out? missed you. so much."

for the rest of the day, you and choso had the most fun in a week. also, choso fell into a pond in the park because he wasn't looking at the road — and also, you might've called your boss to extend your rest day (by saying you weren't feeling well) so you could have more time to spend with your boyfriend.

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. i feel like megumi's the type of boyfriend who tries to stay out of arguments with you, if he was entangled in one where he isn't in the wrong — and you tell him to do something, he'd just kind of do it without any complaints. tell him to shut up? he shuts up. tell him to go away? he'll leave. tell him to leave you alone? he'll leave you alone (for a couple of hours).

but when he feels like things aren't ceasing, he'd try his best to negotiate with you and try to find out what the core of the problem is between the both of you. let's be real, megumi is a realistic type of person, he'd never admit that he's wrong when he isn't just to solve things the fast way, even to you; his own partner.

"y/n. how many times do i have to tell you that it's not that i'm bored of you alright? i've been busy. i'm not bored of you."

okay, you didn't expect one question to lead to this argument. all you asked him was a simple yes or no question: "are you bored of me?" and you didn't throw the question for no apparent reason, the reason behind that question itself was megumi's change of behavior the past two weeks.

he'd been extremely distant, and cold. whenever you asked him about it, he just tells you that he's tired. which you could totally understand since he is pretty busy, like uncle ben said: "with great power comes great responsibility."

being a jujutsu sorcerer is a big responsibility. you could understand where it was coming from, but when it happens again and again, you can't help but to overthink about it. overthink about how megumi might be bored of you and the whole relationship.

"megumi, i...okay— i'm sorry for asking about this. i was just worried." you tell him, not wanting to argue any longer about this whole thing, "i'm sorry, you must be stressed out with school and stuff."

megumi furrowed his brows, inhaling sharply, "no, no.. i'm sorry for lashing out. let's talk about this. i don't want you to get the wrong idea."

megumi explained everything from a to z, about how he was still so in love with you and he had been distant because of his power and what comes with it. it was pretty cute to listen to him talk, the constant flush on his face whenever he talks about you, and the stress in his voice when he talks about his power was apparent.

poor boy just needed a break.

"megumi, let's take a nap. you look like you need it."

"...i do."

argument ended. relationship stronger. and you both get to nap together, absolute win-win.

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