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#but it’s not anything expensive by any means
xazse · 2 days
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hiii pookie I LOVED your hybrid post like it got me foaming from the mouth ngl 🫶 you're so talented!!
If you're into it, can we get cowhybrid! reader and Farmer!Gojo specifically please and thank you? I need to see the reader all needy and desperate and Gojo being the only one who can truly give her release and and what she truly needs (feel free to remix or add anyone/anything that you please)
If you're not into it, please ignore this ask instead of refusing because I get embarrassed hihi🎀🫶 anyways mwah mwah love u take care pookie
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ANOTHER TRY?
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Notes: THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED MY WORK!!! and to the second ask I’m very happy you requested that bull!hybrid work lLOVEDDD WORKING ON IT!! You guys are so creative I need to eat ur brain!!! THIS IS FOR ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR A PT2 I SEE YOU GUYS!!! (IF UR READING THIS TO MY OTHER INBOX OFC YOU CAN BE 🪬 ANON!!)
Pairings: CowHybrid!Reader x Farmer!Gojo
Warnings: Lactation + big!boobedReader + implied chubby!reader + nipplesucking + grinding + mean!Satoru + pussy!slapping + teasing.
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Gojo has spoiled you for far too long it makes his blood boil and temples wrinkle when you continue to go see Toji and Suguru, it becomes a habit for you to come back in the early mornings after having a night of “fun.”
Confronting said men proved to be so fucking useless, they just laughed in his face when he said he’d kick both of them to the curb should they continue to corrupt you.
“You need us Satoru, why are you allowed to have your nightly routines but she cant? It was gonna happen eventually.” Tojis face was decorated with a fat sneer, all those times he tried to make sure you stayed as far as possible were all for naught, it’s hilarious seeing him seething behind a cool facade.
“Never knew what Toji seen in the woman but now I completely understand his point.” Suguru yelled from where he was transporting some wood.
Talking to them proved to be useless, as a little payback he made them clean the shed from top to bottom.
Trudging back to the main house in his thick boots Satoru comes to face you relaxing on the couch without a damn care in the world.
Why is he trying to get them to be on his level when he should be punishing you, you’re the one who didn’t listen, you’re the one sneaking out every night. He doesn’t know why he feels this hold on you, you’re such a beautiful girl that he can’t help but keep you in this small bubble.
When your eyes land on him you don’t say any kind of greeting, simply ignoring his presence for the movie on the huge ass tv he bought for you and eating the expensive food he bought for you.
You look extremely good right now, your fat boobs not swollen, but your pretty lips are. Satoru won’t say it but his pants tighten at the thought of what they do to you.
He needs you right now, he’ll make it up to you as much as he can.
He approaches you calmly and collected, sitting down at the edge of the couch where your legs are propped up, you still don’t acknowledge him. His trained hands start circling on your soft supple skin, you surprisingly don’t push him away. You give Satoru an inch he’ll take a mile.
He starts groping your thighs, the pudgy things hold within the creases of his hand. He pushes your thighs apart and gets a good look at your panties: you always choose to walk around the house like this.
They’re extra tight the way they emphasize your fat pussy, the groan that slips from his lips aren’t-something he tries to hold back, he needs you to know how much he wants you, especially wants you all to himself.
The rise and fall of your chest makes you look so cute, why are you so shy all of a sudden? You’re averting your eyes as well.
Satoru starts teasing your clothed folds, dragging his thick finger up and down, he pushes extra hard on your clit eliciting a small moan from you. He continues this for a little, he needs you wet to take him properly.
He peels off your soddened panties and positions himself above you, finally face to face with you. Your boobs are the first thing he attacks, pulling on your shirt and letting them spill out, the little droplets of milk call to him. He’s grabbing one and putting it into his mouth: he loves your taste so sweet like honey as it cascades down his throat so smoothly.
“Nghm… Toru..” finally you’ve decided to grace him with your sultry voice.
He bites down a little on your nipple making you jump away. He reels you right back in and sucks even harsher, there’s barely any milk left but he’s going to make sure he gets his full.
“Toru.” You call his name so panicked and yet you’re grinding against his fully hard cock. He’s so desperate in the moment that he unbuckles his belt and lets his cock bob free.
His fat tip prods agaisnt your folds, messing with your sticky wetness, he smears it on his tip even grinding down on your clit, but he doesn’t put it in, you don’t deserve that.
He teases you, pretending he’s going to give you what you want just to take it all away.
“Please…” a harsh and loud smack is delivered straight to your clit, you yelp and buckle your legs closed.
“Shirt, take your shirt off.” He commands, of course you’re gonna listen, Satoru has never taken that tone with you.
Your boobs now freely spill for him to gaze at. He spreads your legs back open.
“I’m gonna give you ten slaps, close your legs for even one I’m restarting. Understood?” You nod and your ears move along with it. He likes this look on your face: confusion, arousal and a little bit of fear.
On the first slap you make the mistake of shutting your legs closed: completely an accident but he’s having none of it, he hits your little clit again and again.
“Ahn..” you’re still so fucking wet by the sixth slap, creating a nasty mess that drips to your ass. Gojo’s cock is still throbbing, he jerks himself off, smearing his pre all over.
By the tenth slap you’re gone, completely dazed and only able to whine outloud, he decides that you’ve had enough with the tears that sit on your eye line. He pushes your legs back and lines his weeping tip. The feeling of sliding into your sopping wet cunt is better than any pussy he’s ever had.
His strokes against you are fast even though he should be letting you adjust, the sounds of skin against skin meeting each other is downright lewd.
He tells you to rub your nipples, it adds so much more stimulation that you can’t find it in you to hate it.
His cock drags agaisnt your walls over and over, till you can’t feel anything but the sensitivity of your nipples and the twitching of his fat cock.
He fucks you like that all night, even when you’re meant to meet Toji and Suguru, you can’t stop creaming around farmer Gojos length and nor do you want to.
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The Eye of the Hurricane [37] - Crown
A.N: Last two chapters! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️
Summary: Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Word Count: 2700
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: Violence, violence, I'M SERIOUS THERE IS VIOLENCE IN THIS ONE, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
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If anything, it started out as a normal day.
“You are so pretty!” you told Alpine as you fixed the ribbon around her neck, then held up the feathery pen so that she could jump at it while you sat on the floor. “Yes you are! The prettiest princess in the entire world!”
“Charm?”
“Over here!” you called out and heard Bucky come downstairs, then he filled himself a cup of coffee before looking over his shoulder.
“You want some babe?”
“Nope,” you said, stroking Alpine’s fur. “Bucky, what are the chances that we got the prettiest and nicest cat in the entire world?”
“Zero, she’s an asshole.”
You gasped. “Hey!”
“I love her, but it doesn’t mean she’s not an asshole,” Bucky said. “She never comes when I call.”
“Because she’s a cat, not a dog,” you said. “If we have a child one day, we’re so calling them Alpine Two.”
“We’re not going to do that.”
“Alpine Two and Alpine Three.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Don’t listen to him, they’ll be Alpine Two and Three,” you told Alpine as Bucky sipped his coffee.
“Do you wanna grab lunch today?”
“I can’t,” you said. “I promised Ethan.”
He blinked a couple of times. “You cannot be serious.”
“I am not having this argument with you again when we’re in love and fucking each other’s brains out every night,” you pointed out, making him grin. “Relax with the jealousy dumbass, you already know I’m in love with you.”
He heaved a sigh, then held up his hands.
“Fine,” he muttered. “Go meet the puppy.”
“Bucky.”
“Is he not a puppy around you?”
“He’s my friend,” you said. “My friend whom I haven’t met in a while.”
“Yeah yeah…”
You scratched at Alpine’s head when she head bumped your knee while Bucky tilted his head.
“Are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been weird since we had dinner at your father’s place.”
“Sure,” you said after a beat and he raised his brows.
“Charm.”
“No I’m fine,” you said. “I’m fine, I’ve just been thinking.”
“About?”
“Business,” you said. “My father’s business, to be specific.”
He sipped his coffee. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“God no,” you said. “Of course not. I’m thinking about the consequences of it, that’s all. What it will mean for me.”
“It means the crown for you.”
You pursed your lips together. “And for Ian?”
He scoffed. “Who cares? You hate Ian.”
“Obviously I hate him,” you said. “But I’ll have to kill him, you do know that.”
“He signed his own death warrant the moment he accepted that heir position at the expense of you,” Bucky said. “I’ll kill him for you if you want.”
You rolled your eyes at him. “How fucked up is it that I find this romantic?”
“That’s because I am romantic,” he said with a smirk. “Seriously. If you want me to—”
“I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it,” you pointed out. “I appreciate the offer though.”
Bucky checked his wristwatch, then came closer to you to kiss you on the top of your head, and scratched at Alpine’s head.
“Gotta go,” he said. “I’ll see you tonight?”
“Sure!” you said and watched him walk out of the apartment, then heaved a sigh and looked down at Alpine.
“Alright,” you said. “Come on, let’s get you some treats.”
                                             *
The café Ethan had suggested was in your father’s territory, so it was a short car drive. Seeing that the weather was slowly getting cold nowadays, it didn’t surprise you to see Ethan already inside the nearly empty café as you walked in, and waved at him before making your way to him.
“Hey!” you said and he stood up to hug you.
“Hey stranger,” he said. “It’s been a while.”
“It really has,” you said, motioning for a cup of coffee at the waitress who forced a smile, then disappeared into the kitchen. You frowned slightly, but then turned to look at Ethan when he cleared his throat.
“So what’s been up with you lately?”
“Absolute chaos,” you pointed out, making him smile. “No seriously, things are just now starting to calm down.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah there was this business thing,” you muttered. “Never mind. How about you? What have you been doing lately?”
“I’m actually…” he paused for a moment. “I’m actually moving back to my hometown.”
Your eyes widened, your jaw dropping.
“What?” you asked. “Why?”
“I don’t think New York is for me,” he said as you heard the wind bells chime by the door. “Or any big city for that matter.”
You opened your mouth to ask why, but a strange shiver went down your spine, the hair at the back of your neck rising up as his eyes went over your shoulder. You didn’t even have the time to think, your body seemed to have responded on instinct as the result of many years of training, so you kicked the table in his direction and jumped to your feet, but before you could turn around, two men had already grabbed you by the arms. You managed to kick one of them, turning around to punch the other, but another man caught your fist and turned you around, his friend punching you right on the nose so hard that you knew from the crack that he broke it before the blinding pain shot through your face. You stumbled back as two of them held you by the arms again and another one grabbed his gun, flipped it and slammed it on your head.
Then everything went black.
                                              *
You couldn’t tell which one woke you up, the cold or the burning pain starting from your nose and spreading through your whole head. Your vision was blurry when you forced yourself to open your eyes, now realizing your hands were bound and a groan left your lips as you blinked as fast as you could to see better.
Ah.
Two of Ian’s men were waiting by the door along while Ethan sat across from you, his eyes fixed on the floor. You could feel your heart dropping to your stomach but you forced yourself to focus, there had to be a way out of this—
You just needed to find it.
The room you were in appeared to be a butcher’s freezer, which made you think you were at the edge of your father’s territory. The pain in your head was so heavy that you could barely just hold your head up, let alone moving your body so you gritted your teeth, taking a deep breath through your mouth.
“I’m sorry,” you heard Ethan’s voice and you turned your head to see him looking down at the gun in his lap, your hands shooting up to wipe the blood on your face before touching your forehead.
Okay, that needed stitches.
“You’re sorry?” you repeated with a dry laugh. “How long have you been working for him?”
He shook his head fervently, rubbing his thumb over the gun.
“I don’t—I didn’t—” he stammered. “He contacted me couple of months ago.”
You raised your brows. “Let me guess, he’s paying you a shit load of money?”
He shook his head again.
“He said…he said he’d kill me if I didn’t...” he muttered. “For God’s sake I never wanted this whole bullshit, I don’t even know how to use—” he pushed at the tiny button beside the gun, the magazine dropping to the floor and a couple of bullets scattering around as one of Ian’s men came closer.
“What the fuck?” he asked him, snatching the gun out of his hand and picking up the magazine before walking to the other side of the room to continue his conversation with the other man. You gritted his teeth, anger pulsing through you.
“I’m sorry,” Ethan repeated and you shook your head.
“You know you’re going to die right?” you asked him. “You’ve just signed your own death warrant by pulling this shit.”
“Civilians aren’t harmed, that’s what the truce—”
“Civilians aren’t harmed as long as they remain civilians,” you corrected him, pulling at the rope around your wrists to loosen it a little. “You’ve just thrown your hat in the ring, buddy. And trust me; if Ian doesn’t kill me, I’ll kill you and if he does manage to kill me, Bucky will hunt you down, and kill you. Torture you first probably too. So regardless of if I die or not, you definitely will Ethan.”
“I’ll move out of the city.”
“There’s no city we can’t reach.”
“That’s not true,” he argued with you. “Everyone is saying Chicago is its own city.”
A small smile curled your lips despite fear churning your stomach, a small spark of satisfaction rushing through you.
“Right,” you said. “Sure. Move to Chicago.”
He swallowed thickly, then turned his head when the door opened and Ian walked in with Ryan. Ryan stopped dead in his tracks as soon as his eyes fell on your face, but then he gritted his teeth, snapping something at the men by the door under his breath. It was impossible to hear what he had said, but judging by the way it made them step back, it couldn’t be anything nice.
“Hi there cousin,” Ian had the audacity to smile at you as Ethan stood up from his chair.
“I can go right?” he said. “You promised.”
“Sure, some of our boys will accompany you to the border of the city, then you’re on your own,” Ian said. “Thank you for this. New York will owe you.”
You clenched your jaw, glaring up at Ian as Ethan walked out of the room and Ian tut tutted.
“You just couldn’t help it, could you?” he asked you. “All you had to do was just marry Barnes and give him an heir, and then you could spend money and do nothing for the rest of your life, but you just couldn’t do it.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
He rolled his eyes at you.
“Those are some big words for someone who’s about to die.”
No.
You couldn’t let panic take over your mind, you just couldn’t.
The safest option was to cling to anger.
“You don’t get to kill me and stay alive, Ian.”
“Oh I won’t be the one who killed you,” he said. “Your ex-boyfriend did. Everyone saw him meet you at that café after all.”
“And you think my dad will buy that bullshit?”
“I’ll make him buy it.”
“You think Bucky will buy that?” you spat and he shrugged his shoulders.
“No, he will come after me,” Ian said. “And that’ll start a war. Too bad.”
You gritted your teeth. “You don’t have the means to survive a war, dickhead.”
“You have no reason to worry about that,” Ian said. “You’re not walking out of here alive after all.”
You licked your lips, the metallic taste of blood reaching your throat as Ian nodded at his men.
“Untie her.”
One of his men came to cut the rope around your wrist and helped you up while the other one pointed his gun at you just in case. The whole room was spinning around you, your heart beating in your throat but you tried to fix your breathing.
It was fine.
It was going to be fine.
“Ryan, my gun,” Ian ordered and Ryan stared at you, then pulled out the gun from his waistband, quickly taking out the magazine to check the bullets before sliding it in again.
“Leave us,” Ian said and Ryan licked his lips, stealing a look at you before he walked outside with the rest of Ian’s men following him. He slammed the heavy door behind them and you clenched your fists, still glaring at Ian.
“Can’t say I didn’t warn you,” Ian said, pointing the gun at your face. “I did, numerous times. Get on your knees.”
“No,” you said. “If you’re going to kill me, you’re going to kill me standing.”
Ian took a deep breath, then swallowed thickly.
“As you wish,” he said and raised the gun a little to aim for your forehead, the fear making your eyes burn but you quickly blinked the tears back, forcing yourself to focus on—
Bucky.
It was strange, how it worked. Everyone talked about how this business was dangerous, but no one talked about what one would think when there was a gun about to blow their head off.
There was fear yes, but the memory of happiness shed a small ray of sunlight on it. Knowing Bucky would stop at nothing to take your revenge almost soothed the pain of knowing you would never see him again, at least—
At least in this life.
But you knew you loved him. He knew you loved him.
That was enough, somehow. Even with a gun pointing at your head.
“Live by the sword, die by the sword,” Ian recited. “Goodbye, cousin.”
You closed your eyes, holding your breath and bracing yourself for the deafening gunshot but the only thing that echoed through the room was the empty click, making your eyes snap open while Ian gawked at the gun in his hand, fear flashing over his face as he froze.
…Ryan.
Ryan had taken out the bullets.
The adrenaline that roared through you was powerful enough to overcome the fog in your brain or the pain on your face as you lunged at him to knock the gun out of his hand, slamming him back to the heavy door, the unmistakable sound of gunshots echoing outside. Ian shoved you back as hard as he could and tried to swing a punch at you but you quickly dodged it, elbowing him on the nose.
“Welcome to your cage fight, Ian,” you spat as he wiped at his nose.
“You dumb bitch…” he muttered, then swung at you again but you quickly stepped back, grabbed his wrist and turned it with all your strength until you heard the pop, and his yell of pain. He kicked you on the knee hard, making you scream out of pain as you stumbled back, and he tried to grab at you with his other hand but you had already punch him right in the neck, making him gasp and fall on his knees, clutching at his neck.
“You know,” you said, breathing hard as you grabbed the gun off the floor and picked up one of the bullets Ethan had dropped earlier. “I should thank you for this. I was having second thoughts earlier, but now…”
He was still gasping for air as you slid the magazine out, put the bullet inside and slid it back again, making him drag himself back on his palms until his back hit the wall.
“Exile me,” he managed to say, and you tilted your head. “Exile me somewhere else.”
You shook your head, adrenaline making your head spin.
“You know how this shit goes,” you said through clenched teeth. “You tried to kill me. Exiling you isn’t enough.”  
“I’ll forfeit the title!” he said, still breathless and you shook your head again, then pointed the gun at him with a sigh.
“I'm sorry Ian,” you said. “Live by the sword, die by the sword.”
With that, you pulled the trigger and heard the loud bang before the blood splattered over your face, making you grimace as his body slipped on the floor. You wiped at your face, then slammed open the door to point the gun at whoever was outside, but the only thing you could see was Ian’s men bleeding on the ground while Ryan stood by the door, his back straight as if he was waiting for your order.
“Ma’am,” he said with his hands clasped behind him, and he bowed his head a little as you smiled at him.
“Thank you,” you rasped out, raising your head to stare up at the dark sky before turning to him. “Ryan, is there any chance you’re looking for a new job?”
The corners of his mouth twitched and he nodded.
“Working for your father’s heir would be an honor, ma’am,” he said softly and you let out a small laugh.
“Good,” you said as you limped to the car parked right outside the back alley with Ryan following you. “You’re hired.”
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entirelysein-e · 3 days
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『 Aftercare 』
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☼ synopsis: have you ever wondered what they're like after having sex?
☼ characters: Sakura Haruka, Kiryu Mitsuki, Umemiya Hajime
☼ wc: 0.9k
☼ cw: suggestive, mentions of sex, otherwise just soft aftercare, mentions of food
☼ notes: Who do you want to see next? (Or another fandom) || Taglist
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Sakura:
✧ Sakura was a stranger to aftercare when you two started to get intimate
✧ It's not like he didn't want to do anything it's just that he didn't know what or how and he didn't want to embarrass himself if you turn him down
✧ At the same time if you tell him what you'd like he will blow it off because obviously he knew what you wanted but his cheeks are all red and his huffs exaggerated
✧ So if you start tending to him after he melts like putty in your hands
✧ Please ask him how he's feeling and offer him water he made you feel so good after all and you try to make him know that you truly care
✧ Sakura always asks in return how you feel and should it be anything but good he will look at you like a beaten puppy and asks what he can do to make it good again
✧ Loves it when you snuggle up to him with your head on his chest although his body stiffens up every time - it takes less and less time to relax each time
✧ He’s not one for many words after and he definitely doesn't like to take a bath but if you go take a shower you might just find him joining you
✧ He’s very clingy after being intimate but he would never admit so out loud
✧ If you two took a shower together he enjoys laying down on you with his head either in your lap or on your chest so you can play with his hair
✧ Overall his aftercare is lacking a little but he's truly grateful for you and he just needs a while to get used to it all
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Kiryu:
✧ Kiryu is the king of consent and the King of aftercare
✧ It's like he can read your mind and knows exactly what you need and crave after being intimate
✧ He’s just incredibly good at reading your body language and facial expressions so if you're feeling a little needy he has no issues wrapping you up in his arms and peppering kisses on your temple
✧ If you two went a little rougher or he was mean to you, rest assured that he will rub any sore body parts
✧ And the praise!! He’s calling you every name in the books, making you feel loved and feeling good about yourself / being intimate with him
✧ Kiryu definitely urges you to at least go to the bathroom after so you don't get any nasty infections- showers and baths can wait until you're ready to leave the coziness of his arms and the bed
✧ Don't feel like leaving the bed? You're getting lured into the shower where he gladly lets you use his expensive products, even offering to wash your hair for you and he gives amazing head massages!
✧ Only after you're all clean and emotionally taken care of he'd suggest to watch a movie or play some video games. It's his way to unwind and he would like to be taken care of as well
✧ You're always his priority but please snuggle up to him and either play a game with him, watch him play or watch his favorite movies with him
✧ Lay your head down on his lap, gentle fingers will caress your skin. He just craves to be near you after being intimate, incredibly grateful for you.
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Umemiya:
✧ Ume seems a little lost with aftercare at first because there are so many ways he could pamper you, how is he supposed to choose?
✧ He is all breathless and smiles after being intimate with you, a ray of sunshine because he got to be this close to you and he prefers to just hold you for a moment before he even thinks about slipping out
✧ He really likes to just bask in the afterglow, fingers delicately tracing mindless patterns over your skin while you're cuddled up to him
✧ None of you are worried about the sheets since they can be washed and being cuddled up is most important to him after
✧ Only after he caught his breath he will ask if you're okay and if you need anything. Should something be wrong, Ume would turn every stone on this world upside down to make you feel better, apologizing if he's the cause of your discomfort
✧ Snuggle time is followed by a comfortable bath but he won't join you immediately, kissing your forehead before disappearing for a few minutes
✧ Ume always brings you snacks like a small sandwich, cut up fruits or other easy food while you soak in the bathtub, everything is neatly organized on a tray
✧ Only once your cravings are satisfied and he made sure that you drank some water he will join you in the tub, snacking from the tray here and there while holding you
✧ He’s just very big on comfort after being intimate with you since he knows that sometimes he’s a little much to handle
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Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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tinystepsforward · 5 hours
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autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)
I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.
If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.
the background
So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.
FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:
Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;
Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;
Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.
the WordPress ecosystem
A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.
Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)
Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.
There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.
Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.
Matt being Matt, tech being tech
As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)
But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.
ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening
WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.
There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.
Sep 17
Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.
Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?
(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)
Sep 20 (WCUS final day)
WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.
Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.
He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.
For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr
Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:
“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt
He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.
Sep 21
Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.
He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.
The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)
Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:
Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash
TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers
Sep 23 onward
Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.
Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.
Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.
WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.
Twitter link | Direct PDF link
This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.
Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.
He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.
Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.
Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"
At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.
Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.
Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.
anyway this fucking sucks
This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".
Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)
I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.
So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.
Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.
And people don't want to deal with any of this.
The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.
But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.
Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.
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sulumuns-dootah · 20 hours
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Your work inspires me so much!! If its ok, could i request something…? I´m in need of some angsty headcanons, since i dreamed about this particular scenario… How would the kings (who are deeply in love) react after discovering that his beloved MC is madly in love with one of their most faithful subordinates? MC has rejected their romantic advances before, but they are only now realizing why… And that… Hurts. I imagine would be Satan-Sitri, Beel-Bael, Levi-Foras, Mammon-Bimet?, Luci-Marbas? (my heart can't do this with Gami, its his little broo), and Belph-Beleth. Sorry if my english is bad, but thank you so much for your hard work!
WHB kings reaction to their crush liking someone else
⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 
A/N: Aw, thank you and dw your english is good! ^^
Warning: Some of these get a bit yandere :)
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
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Well, Satan is seeing red
He's unable to look at Sitri the same
In doing so he spends more time with Amy, which makes Sitri mad
The two eventually end up having an argument about it and if you haven't told Sitri yet, he's in for another shock
Being the good king he is, he won't stand in your relationship as long as you hide it in front of him
If he sees you two together without leaving a space for Jesus, one of you is getting kicked across the whole Hell
Also to add onto the angst: his visits to pubs and heavy drinking get more frequent
At some point it gets so bad that the smell of alcohol just carries with him, but his mind is still sound enough to be a king
       ༺☆༻
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Oh...
Well, this is a first
Wanting something, but he can't have it?
So this is what it's like to be a common peasant
Mammon hates the feeling of that
He would never hurt you, you're his master and you're free to do what you want
Still, that doesn't mean that Bimet won't feel the sting of it
So Mammon gives him less and less change
Bet you feel stupid now, since Bimet has barely any money
Oh, and look... Mammon just so happens to be very hot and fanning himself with a stack of money
Care for a 5* hotel stay at the most expensive spa in all of Hell?
       ༺☆༻
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Full Yandere mode
What, did you expect anything less from the king of Envy?
How foolish you are, really...
Leviathan gets commisioned a golden cage that's installed into his bedroom and that's where you stay
If you try to escape too many times, he'll even go as far as chaining you to the metal construction
For extra security, while he's away, there's at least five of his servants guarding you
If you're to go somewhere, it's only with Leviathan himself
Even Barbatos and Glasyalabolas can't be trusted
Oh, and Foras? He's lucky to even be alive
Anytime they cross paths in the halls, he's hanging from the cieling in a matter of seconds and isn't let go until he's passed out from the lack of oxygen
       ༺☆༻
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Ahahah, nope
That doesn't stop Beel
No, he dosen't even acknowledge the fact
You're his
Bael? You fell for him while he was dressed up as Beel and now you're just confused, silly Y/N.
Is he gaslighting you or himself? Kinda both, actually
Poor Bael is just witnessing the whole thing and can't do anything about it
Beel is just an unstoppable force and nothing can change his mind
It's probably best to just let him forget about his feelings towards you
Let's hope that'll happen within your lifetime, otherwise youv'e got a stalker that defies all natural and supernatural laws
       ༺☆༻
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Now, Belphie might be asleep most of the time, but that still doesn't mean you get to just run around and wanna be with anyone else
Oh, it's Beleth you're into?
Hm, looks like Belphie has to have a lengthy talk with him about it then
Since he hates long convos, it has to be short, sweet and straight to the point
And that's how Beleth finds himself smothered by the king's power as he's practically threatening to make him evaporate if he doesn't back off from you and reject all your advances
(Actually, you can still be in relationship with Beleth outside of the king's palace, but if Belphie finds out from someone else or smells your scent on Beleth, you're both gone)
       ༺☆༻
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Lucifer tries to be as mature as possible, but there's still this jealousy gnawing on him from the inside
Asks Buer to help him with some meditation and breathing excercises to chase away his feelings and the thoughts
As one of the Seraphims, he had to learn to share God's love and this comes in handy
Actualy, what's wrong with having more than one partner? This is Hell, afterall...
The rest of his nobles know not to bring up you or Marbas in the same sentence or even the same context
Luci, being the demon of pride and all, firmly believes, that your feelings for Marbas are just temporary and soon you'll come to realise which demon is superior to that sex-crazed maniac
If things take a little too long for his liking, however, he's not against serving you a special type of tea strained through his underwear to speed things up
But don't worry, he's doing this for your own good :)
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mi-i-zori · 2 days
Text
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A Tiny World
CoD - 141 x Snail (OC/Fem!Reader)
SYNOPSIS : Snail really likes to play Animal Crossing to relax. Turns out, Ghost does too.
WARNINGS : None. But please read the Author’s Note below.
Author’s Note : Snail is an OC that can be read as a Fem!Reader - I do my best no to describe her too much, but may sometimes say that she’s small (height) and has long hair.
I do not give anyone permission to re-publish and/or translate my work, be it here or on any other platform, including AI.
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Playing Animal Crossing is Snail’s way to escape the world whenever she can’t do or focus on anything else.
At the beginning, her first goal is to fill the museum to the brim - which she does pretty quickly, allowing her character to sit on a bench in front of the exhibits and enjoy the music playing in her ears. The aquarium is her go-to place to fully relax. Sometimes, she even falls asleep, leaving her little persona to bob her head left and right while watching the fishes.
When she really wants to empty her mind, she focuses on building her own little world. She’s quite indecisive about the theme she wants to follow to decorate her island, which leads her to divide it in multiple « regions ». Each one has an aesthetic that progressively gives way to another one, like a natural border that allows her to create a smaller theme in-between.
To go with these regions, she’s made different characters. They, too, live in a house and are dressed to fit a specific theme, and she enjoys crafting stories for each one of them. Her favourite house is like her own little museum, filled to the brim with curiosities of all kinds. Insects, fishes, plants, skeletons… The main room looks like an old apothecary shop, and a part of her longs to be able to make her own apartment a real version of this virtual house.
Ever since he stumbled upon her playing quietly in the common room, Ghost has been sharing this moment of peace with her, watching her play, learning about the game and the little world and characters she’s bringing to life. He rejected her offer to create his own character in there, but it doesn’t stop him from sitting next to her and throwing a few glances at the screen while reading or watching TV, or fully focusing on it while sipping on a cuppa.
« You sure you don’t even want to try playing a little bit, LT ? » Is what Snail keeps asking every single time - and, at some point, Simon gives in.
He finds that he really enjoys fishing the most, hunting bugs being a close second. Snail excitedly explains every single mechanic of the game to him, and the roles end up being reversed. She’s now the one watching him play as he keeps catching the most expensive things for her to sell as if he’s been doing this for his entire life, and he quietly listens as she blurts out random trivia about whatever fish or bug the little character is showing off.
There’s a moment when a neighbour actually manages to steal the expert’s target, immediately digging their own grave. Simon now sees a mortal enemy in them, and is ready to unleash hell on their life whenever he can. Snail taught him how to use the net as a weapon, causing him to whack the poor fellow on sight, despite her asking him to not be too mean. She likes this neighbour - it’s a frog, after all, and they’re nice to her. She does her best to keep them on her island, making it up to them after Simon’s spent at least an hour bullying them.
To try and salvage what’s left of her friendship with that neighbour, Snail introduces him to the islanders she actually wants to move away.
« LT, this one said the custom mushroom dress I made for myself wasn’t fashionable. Can you please help me unleash Hell on them until they leave ? »
« This guy put his house on the beautiful patch of rare flowers I’d made for my new zone. It took me weeks to get them all and now I have to remake everything ! »
« I don’t vibe with this islander. They’re mean to everyone, and made my best friend sad. »
« Equip your net, » is what he always says in return, settling comfortably on the couch before grabbing the controller.
Simon never realised how satisfying it could be to whack the characters of a cute video game on the head in-between a few sessions of fishing. So much that it’s become a little ritual now.
Though he still adamantly refuses to create his own character.
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jhoneybees · 1 day
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I love your writing and the effort you put into it, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to share one shot of (Any year) Elvis with a Mexican reader. Specifically, one of him and his mama being invited to a party (birthday, reunion, or any type of party with family). This would be the first time Elvis gets to meet the readers. 
Also, I just genuinely think Gladys would enjoy the little chisme that goes on in the kitchen as the grandma's and tías cook.  Just a bunch of wholesome fluff!
Oh thank you! Yes I'm willing to share! This one was quite a challenge to do because I know nothing about Mexicans so please forgive me if I used the wrong Spanish words and this is more of a blurb so...please forgive me on that too😭
Fiesta
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Characters: 50s!Elvis X Mexican!reader
Warnings/triggers: Probably nothing!
Author's note: Pétalo means petal, Tía means aunty, Tío means uncle, Sobrina means niece, Sobrino means nephew, Hermana means sister, Hijo means son, Feliz Cumpleaños means Happy birthday 🤧
_____________________________________________
Elvis has always been so polite and caring towards your family and when you first introduced him to your parents in ‘56 he instantly became the favourite. Out of all your brothers and sisters’ partners, Elvis won the spot of definite future son in law.
Your parents absolutely adore him, it’s not because he’s the upcoming celebrity but because of how well he treats you. Elvis would pick you up from your house for dates with a massive bouquet of flowers in his hand every single time and as much as you love the gifts, you tried to tell him to not spend so much on you but he kept insisting. He just loves watching you and your parents' reaction to the expensive things he would give you. Flowers, jewellery, clothes, anything.
Elvis would never forget to give your mamá something either, no, no, no, he’d give her the most beautiful things which you thought your papá would feel somewhat jealous of but no, he absolutely loves it!
Today is one of those days, Elvis has a lovely gift and he and his mama are dressed up to attend your mamá’s birthday party.
Your parents haven’t met Elvis’ parents yet and you weren’t going to lie, you’re a little nervous. Your family is very loving and welcoming when it comes to new members and Elvis’ parents are wonderful but you just can’t help it.
What if it’s not like that at all when he arrives?
“That must be your boyfriend!” Your aunty gasps in delight at the sound of the front door bell, you bite your bottom lip preparing yourself for some sort of disaster as you put down a plate of Chilaquiles.
“Quickly, you have to come and introduce us!” stumbling a little when your aunty drags you out of the kitchen into the living room. “Todas! Y/n’s boyfriend’s here!” She shouts, calling all the tías, tíos, sobrinas and sobrinos from all corners of the house. Holding onto your arm tightly with an excited smile on her face as your papá opens the front door.
“Hello.” Elvis grins, leaning to one side to peek inside of the house as your cousins scrabble around you to see who’s arrived.
“Ah! Pétalo, he’s handsome!” Your other aunty cheers.
Then in a blink, all of your family usher Elvis and his mama inside, the tios happily shaking hands and the tias greeting and complimenting Gladys. Your heart smiles at the delighted cheers and laughs.
“Hermana, look how tall he is! He must be really strong.”
“Could easily lift two of us up onto his shoulders!” The tias giggle.
“He reminds me of my late husband!”
“How could you think that? Your late husband wasn’t this handsome.”
“What do you mean? He was american!”
“Hermana, how long have you been living in America? 20 years? Not all Americans look like that!” The others argue.
You groan in embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands at how your aunties are all over Elvis and Gladys.
“Todas! Todas! You’re going to scare them if you keep latching onto them like that!” Your mamá clicks her tongue with an amused smile on her face. Walking calmly through the sea of people to gasp and squeal seeing Gladys. “Hello, you must be Gladys!” Excitedly grabbing her hands and admiring her hair and skin. “Oh mi, you’re beautiful!”
Gladys smiles shyly, thanking your mother politely before her eyes turn to look at Elvis. “Oh, my hijo!”
You smile gently, watching Elvis chuckle and laugh as he bends down to hug. “Hello mamá.” He replies, carefully putting a nicely wrapped up jewellery box in her hands, grinning at how her eyes soften. “Feliz cumpleaños to the birthday girl.”
You’re quite surprised how well Elvis pronounced happy birthday in spanish, you would often teach him a few words whenever he wants to impress your parents.
“Aww my son…Come! Come! I made Camote, your favourite!”
Elvis nods with a laugh and with a delicate push, he says to take his mama to the kitchen and show her.
“Hi baby.” He turns to you, his eyes sparkling with joy at the sight of you. Slowly sliding his arms around your waist to be closer to you and seeing out of the corner of his eye, he sees your cousins watch with open mouths and he smirks, suddenly attacks your neck with playful kisses and growls.
“Ai! Elvis! Stop that!” You gasp in a hushed tone, hearing the little kids snicker. You start to laugh too, pushing him away you shake your head in disbelief. Kissing him a little when he hums for one you scrunch your nose at the youngest ones watching. “All of you, go away. This is adult stuff.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so!”
“OooOoo Pétalo’s going to give her boyfriend kisses!” One jokes with a cute giggle.
“Go!” You order again and this time they all begin to pile out.
“How’s my baby, hm?” Elvis asks with a cheeky deep voice, his hands sliding up your waist to the sides of your breasts. Chuckling as you rest your arms around his neck.
“Good, how was your trip here?”
“It was good-”
“Lunch is ready, lovebirds! Come and eat before it’s all gone!” Your Tía calls making both of you laugh.
“Yes, Tía!” Elvis answers back with a big smile.
You really do wish Elvis would become your family's son in law, he's perfect to you.
“C’mon, Pétalo. Let's go.”
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laundrypause · 2 days
Text
AU where loscar are in high school, Oscar's quite popular and Logan is not as popular but just as much as well-liked. One thing about Logan is he is the most oblivious human to ever exist in the entirety of mankind. People flirting with him? Nah, they're just being nice. Getting chocolates for Valentine's? They must feel bad that he doesn't have one. Notes with hearts attached to phone numbers mysteriously finding their way into his locker? Must be the people he's been partnered with for their midterms. At first, Logan's secret admirers thought he was trying to reject them without outwardly saying no to their advances. And if that really was the case, they'd back off cause yk common decency. But then they find out he actually doesn't realise that these advances are essentially what they are. Advances. So they do what seemed like a perfectly reasonable solution and asked one of Logan's best friends to help them out because maybe their flirtations were too general. Too normal. They needed an insider who knew what Logan liked other than fishing and cars. Things that made his heart flutter, his cheeks blush. They wanted him to know that they were interested in him, not just being friendly. So who else to ask none other than Oscar to help them out.
Oscar wouldn't say he was Logan's bestest best closest friend who knew everything about him down to a T. That position was occupied. But Oscar thinks he knows Logan enough to try and be a Cupid-associate per say and help these poor souls who decided to fall for Oblivious Man™. He doesn't know what the tightening of his chest or the flood of fire trickling through his body means but it's probably the odd gloop of greens the cafeteria calls lunch he ate. Not for any other reason at all.
For about 2 weeks straight, Oscar's the designated Loge(Love) Guru, attempting to inconspicuously ask Logan questions and relaying pieces of said information to the admirers that fit the list of questions they'd emailed him. Yes, emailed him like social media didn't exist and this was the early 2000s or something. The list of questions include:
What's Logan's favourite color?
Is he a steak kinda guy?
His ideal type in 3 words?
Coach or Gucci?
And other questions Oscar deemed.... he'd rather not ask (let's leave it at that).
Logan's a little confused about the sudden influx of questions hurled at him by Oscar but deigns it harmless enough. If it meant he'd get to spend more time with Oscar, he'd take it. Who's there to judge him? Exactly. No one.
It's been weeks ever since the admirers have asked Oscar for help and still...no dice. It seemed like after they'd requested Oscar's expertise, Logan's become even more detached to their pursuits, which should definitely be impossible but it's Logan. He always somehow manages to defy the odds. But maybe this is a sign of some sort, that Logan will never manage to see through the fog and accept that it's possible for people to experience attraction towards him.
When they say this to Oscar, however, he's weirdly defensive. Saying how could they just give up that easily, if they're actually serious about Logan why are they not doing anything more, that actually they were asking the wrong questions. That did they not realize that Logan wasn't that much of a materialist? Their actions need to have meaning, their gifts need to convey a message. They can't just throw a designer watch at him expecting him to know their intentions. Hell, he wouldn't even accept the damn gift because oh why would you spend so much on me? I can't accept this.
Nor can they can't just give him flowers all willy-nilly, just grabbing them off a shelf because it's the most expensive. Purple so obviously clashes with him and didn't they remember when Oscar said Logan liked yellow? They should've gotten him a yellow bouquet with greens and blues complimenting it, yellow because he was as bright as the sun, always exuding warmth and blues and greens because they were the colors of his eyes and wrapped with delicate pink crêpe paper because that's the color of his cheeks whenever he flushes and-
Oh my God, they were dumbasses. Idiots, fools, blockheads. Of course Oscar's 'advice' didn't work. It didn't work because he liked him. He liked Logan. Shit, it was all starting to make sense now, why none of the help Oscar lent truly...helped. Because he didn't want to help them. Because he liked Logan and didn't want them to- God how were they so dumb? It's so obvious now, so clear. The way Oscar's eyes always managed to soften when Logan was in his radar, the immediate hardening of his body, muscles taut whenever someone says something less than friendly to the American, ready to jump into a fight like an aggravated cat or even the way he always seemed to be the first person in line to lend Logan a shoulder when he's tired out of his mind, staving off sleep just to do one more calc question.
Always the one forcing him to take care of himself whenever Logan forgets to. God, they were complaining about Logan being the oblivious one but how about them? Being completely blind to the obvious lovesick simp that was still going on about how the direction of the quirk of Logan's mouth could clearly tell you about the mood he's in.
Oscar, the most discreetly obvious about his feelings. So discreet, he managed to go unnoticed by the admirers until now. So discreet, he himself doesn't realize the extent of what he's feeling for Logan isn't just platonic.
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Note
What types of gifts would the boys give? And/Or what gifts would they like to receive?
Ooooo I love this question! Okay, so I'm going to go over a list for each of the skeletons and descriptions for what they would like. Sanses like Error, Fresh, and Ink will also be included, but I generally have an inclination to think that most if not all the "Outcodes" variety are on the Aroace spectrum! So, you can interpret these as either romantic, platonic, or even a mix for QPR's(Queer Platonic Relationships) if you'd like. Enjoy :-)))
Vanilla: He usually gives more lighthearted gifts that have to do with inside jokes than anything. He likes to also give gifts to people he really loves more thoughtful gifts of course, but those are extremely rare and/or for birthdays exclusively. For what he likes to receive, he expects gifts that have to do with inside jokes as well since to him that means you also find it funny or remembered this joke. He also loves anything really, his not picky. He'll only lose it and find himself jokefully crying about any tomato based items like tomato chips, bottles of ketchup, and clamato juice
Cyperus: He loves to remember gifts based on what people like, usually having to do with their interests specifically. He won't give random based gifts to throw out there either, in fact he makes items himself if he can since he's so handy. He loves gifts based on his interests as well, even if that gift wasn't expensive or bought to begin with but made instead
Red: Like Vanilla, he loves jokingly giving gifts based on inside jokes or based on what that person hates. An example would be one time giving Pitch a mug of dogs instead of cats, grinning at the look of disappointment in him. If you hated these pair of socks at the store? Bam, gift time. Still, on important holidays, he actually can pull through. He will know they expect to get gifts they hate from him, but he'll have a hidden second gift as well. When giving Pitch the dog mug, it was Giftmas, so he pulled the actual gift from his pocket, a cat collar wrapping around a cat mug of higher quality. He doesn't care what gifts you give him, as long as it reminds you of him. He doesn't like expensive gifts though, since money being spent on him is already something he's picky about
Pitch: Always expect gifts of quality over quantity with him. He'll take you on store splurges and let you pick your favorite outfits or items at a store, but only rarely when he also wants new clothes. On holidays like your birthday or on Giftmas, however, he won't let you know at ALL what he plans for you. He always has a list of things you like and always tries to remember ways to combine that. You like the color blue and your favorite animal is a cat? Bam, a cat statue with blue accents. Perfumes you wear? He'll take note and find new ones you will like. In return, he won't expect you to buy him something super expensive since not everyone has money for that. He will always appreciate you taking note of what he likes, especially if it's based on red or black things, and if he can keep this gift for a long time for memories sake
Powder: He will give you gifts when he has to be at work for a long time, ways of reminding you of him while he's away. I don't think he'd work in any police force due to my own opinions, but he does have an active jobs that allows him to be creative and helpful to his communities like community service. Sometimes events have to take days or weeks, so he's going to make sure you don't miss him for too long. Gifts he loves to receive is ones that prove you thought of him or remembered something about him that he let slip once or twice before. That in itself is enough for him
Stretch: He LOVES it when he can give someone gifts, since he always remembers what they like. Tokens of appreciation and things that for example, you and him both like. Video games for you to play alone or with him, tickets to that movie you wanted to see, etc. He rarely likes gifts due to not wanting people to spend money on him, but he always tries to carry the gifts around when he can. If he really wanted this video game he'll always try to see if you can play it together or take turns with it as well, or hug you when you give him this manga or comic he really wanted. He'll only slightly scold you though
Saint: He rarely gives gifts, and when he does expect him to have thought of what to give you for a while or just random little charms and knickknacks since he's just odd to begin with. Small stones, random items he (stole) got, or even just odd items he finds in the woods. Otherwise, he tried to make gifts instead of buying them since he's more worried about the significance over the value it costs. He learned how to sew when he was underground, so when he first decided to participate in Giftmas with the rest of the "family", he sewed a fabric blanket together for you. He knows that it gets cold in winter, and maybe you'll like it? He ended up looking at you with a blown out eyelight when he saw you smile and decided to give you more gifts like that. Stuffed animals sewn together, scarfs, etc. He rarely finds gifts for himself a little pointless since that money can go to something useful so food is always a good gift for him or ones that mean so damn much to him that can last a long time for him to carry around or clothes he can wear like a beanie hat you gave him for winter
Lunar: It's not often he'll give others gifts, but when he does it's baked goods or handmade items like with Saint. He makes items made together like this pretty wind chime he made for your birthday made of pieces of glass that reflect in the light when the sun hits it just right. They're funky, a little odd, but always sweet. He doesn't ever really like people giving him gifts since he wants those things to go into things like taking care of yourself or the house, but handmade gifts always make him sentimental. He still has the very first gift he received when above ground from you, which was this new, unique scarf you got for him. He carries it around and wears it everywhere, using the remains of his old scarf to give to Saint and remake in the later made fabric blanket he helped make
Carmine: He will always always ALWAYS find ways to get things for you. He'll pamper you in ways you can't even complain about if you try to scold him for spending so much money, such as getting useful items that you need for work, for the house, etc. He prides himself in providing for you, always knowing what you need when going out like chapstick or a jacket, since he works hard to remember what you like and need. (He read a book about humans and what they need so flexing in his knowledge also makes him preen) He can provide for himself, so he prefers affection through helping him around or physical touch. He's actually the most prideful in receiving gifts unless there practical, so for Giftmas he always prefers if people just spend time with him when looking at Giftmas lights or help him prepare for the holidays. On his birthday, the family knew he was picky about things like that so they either got things to celebrate a surprise party or items he needed for cleaning. Practicality and all that. When you got him a very pretty necklace for his first birthday with you, however, he just stared at you and said nothing at first. It was gold with a carmine colored gem in the center. He tries to scold you for it, but his voice is a little shaky as he asks you why you got it. Then, he put it on and he practically never took it off, still doesn't unless he's taking a shower. He told you never to do it again though
Rus: If you really want something but can't get it for whatever reason, there are rare times he'll get it for you. He never wants you to pay him back, and he always is willing to pamper you. Most of the time his gift giving consists of paying for takeout, so these moments are few and far between. Still, he considers what you really really want and takes note of these things, only rarely needing to go based on what you like if you're really secretive in what you want. He doesn't need gifts to feel loved, but the times you do get him something that he can have to be reminded of you, he values it and takes extremely good care of it to remember that he's loved by you. The physical proof that you do at least. He's always willing to accept these things, but you don't have to do it constantly and he'll scold you otherwise
Razz: He takes note of things you want, is willing to pamper you at times, and even if he's smart with his money he doesn't mind getting these things. He thinks that buying expensive gifts is cheap in the face of other forms of affection, but he is willing to do it on special occasions. When it comes to receiving gifts however, it's something a little different. He doesn't need expensive gifts or anything that he just really really wanted, since he's similar to Carmine when it comes to spending money on him. But, also just like Carmine, he doesn't expect to receive gifts at all since out of all monsters, you got something for him? You put thought into it, and he feels deeply loved for that since he always encourages you to show him love in different ways for many reasons. He treasures it and wears it if he can, or else he'll make sure his gift can be proudly shown since he will brag about how much you love him as a result
Cash: Surprise surprise, the frugal skeleton actually really loves to pamper you! More than his brother, actually, and he makes sure to get you things you can wear since he can let others know he pampers you and are his loved one. He will put thought into gifts, but most of it consists of him being able to catch wind or outright hear you say you want something. He wasn't able to get a lot of things underground unless he swindled someone or stole it, so he pushes being able to provide gifts. And ah yes, the greedy bastard loves gifts. He loves that you're willing to think of him when buying him something, a bit more materialistic that way. But truly? Secretly even? He really really loves when you cook him something or get him something that you put your whole heart and soul into. The value of this gift means more than any type of gift otherwise, and he'll show it off to others and brag about your love for him. He'll wear it, take care of it, and he appreciates that you love him enough to get it for him
Wine: The most notorious for gift giving even in comparison to Carmine and Cash? Yes. He's going to get you such high quality gifts just because he knows what you like, and he's not afraid to do it. He likes to pamper you as much as he pampers Coffee, to the point that if you even try to argue he's just going to refuse arguing with you. It's almost evil. Now, for receiving gifts? Don't sweat it, he can buy himself whatever he wants! Like Carmine and Razz, the three struggle accepting anything. However, he won't scold you for getting him something, but rather ask why you felt the need to. He'll wear what you give him once he sees the sentimental value of it, even if you're worried it's not up to "his standard." The value of emotional weight is far more worthy to him and anything else pales in comparison. He loves any gifts in wine red, gold, or blacks too. If you manage to find out about his favorite dessert or chocolate though and get it for him, it'll be one of the few moments you catch him blushing as he thanks you with a slight crack to his voice. Rarely anyone can figure that stuff out, so he's impressed and slightly embarrassed along with his flattered opinion of you being raised
Coffee: Despite the wealth he and his brother has, he prefers to give and receive gifts of sentimental value. He'll draw for you, buy you sweets, and he's a soft romantic so you can expect flowers from him as well. If you buy him things he loves to eat, video games he wants, etc, he'll get sentimental that you remember what he likes since he's also pretty secretive on that stuff unless it's video games. If it's a two player he'll insist to not play it without you. When you found his secret love for sanrio and Hello Kitty specifically, he practically sobbed when you got him a hoodie. He hugged you, kissed your cheeks and didn't let you go until you or someone else pried him off.
Killer: Gift giving is odd for him. He's of course someone that wouldn't do it often, but he'd give you something based off what you both mutually like or based on something you hate in order to get a laugh. He's the type to give you odd things to see if you'll accept them, but not things that are gory or gross by any means. When receiving gifts, he would appreciate things such as knives, cat based gifts, and he wouldn't appreciate or like gifts based on the color Yellow or based on ketchup. Don't try to get him something worth of emotional or financial value though, because the amount of items he's lost overtime is insane to be honest. Chocolate or energy drinks is a good go-to
Dust: He rarely gets emotionally attached to others to begin with, so if you got a gift from him they would start small. Things like a weird rock, a flower, food he picked up sometime. He'll take pictures since he loves photography, giving you a photo of random or pretty things. He'd move to give you things of value the more intimate you are, like jewelry or trinkets. He's weird when it comes to accepting gifts, but he values them a lot more than he lets on. He'll wear what you give him, love what you cook, etc. He also appreciates books he hasn't read before since he had read all the books from underground years ago
Error: He would give you a plushie he handmade of yourself or of him, something that he'd be willing to give you since he would think of you highly as a result of it. He's very sensitive to touch, so a plushie of him would be a way to allow you to 'hug him' for example. He also maked bracelets woven together or with beads he collets, something he'd gift him you. He would knit you blankets, scarves, etc. infused with his magic so that you can feel the intent sewn in with it whenever you're upset or want to feel happy. He also tends to give you these things to prevent others like Ink from messing with you, as if he's staking a "claim" that you're with him. He'll love chocolate of course, but different types of yarn would also make him excited or maybe a book with different animals, monsters, etc would get him excited as well. He likes those types of things because it shows you're aware of his interests. And also, something a bit more sentimental to him, would be things based on space or cats generally
Ink: He can get a bit creative with his gifts? Drawings, paintings, carvings, little handmade knickknacks! He would create things for you to not only get you to smile and hang up, but he also would create little charms like keychains to help identify you since he has a bad memory and gets confused a lot due to timelines and multiple AU's. He also does this as a way to also "stake a claim" on you, similar to Error. If you somehow got involved with both, the two would constantly layer you with different gifts to try and prove to the other that you're their best friend or "captive". He's not hard to please either, he will accept any drawings, art supplies, charms like necklaces or bracelets. Anything handmade from you is wonderful
Fresh: Now he's the most erratic with gift giving. This bastard can provide pins, stickers, figurines, necklaces, bracelets, charms, knickknacks, small CD players to share music tastes, candy, and more! He's fun with gift giving and he would love to make sure you even have a fanny pack or bag so that you can carry around everything he gives you. In return he's the same way, as long as you found it cool as well and thought of him. He also really loves sweets and TMNT, so those two things are a great go-to if you're unsure what to get him or song recommendations
Thank you for reading!!! :-))
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rosicheeks · 1 year
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17. an earliest obsession you remember?
Always been obsessed with crowns 👑
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tangledinink · 10 months
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clenches fist. finally sucked it up and ordered a new ipad...
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m00ngbin · 19 days
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I'm trying to pick a major that I would be the most interested in just because it would make my life so much easier and right now I have like three ideas and they all have a million problems
#like bioengineering. that sounds great right#id make good money with even just a bachelors degree#but i dont want to be stuck with that my whole life. that doesnt sound fun to me and engineering is supposed to be a miserable major#AND MINOR#and its a relatively new field so not a lot of places near me have it. and the places that DO have it are crazy expensive#i want to get a degree in linguistics because thats something that sounds fun to me. i would enjoy that#im good with english and language#but what can i really do with a linguistics degree? and im not good at learning other languages so i couldnt be an interpreter as much as i#would enjoy it#i kind of want to go for theatre tech stuff but. idk there arent really any buts but is that really realistic for me? i stopped doing tech#in freshman year because people were kind of mean. im a quitter and theyre not going to like that and i havent done anything related#in so long so really what are the chances i get accepted for that#how much do techs make anyways? i guess it doesnt have to be THEATRE tech i could do tech for anything#i know people who tech for bands make pretty good money and they have fun#i lied theres four#i could do geology something but thats broad and also the best school for it in the state is UF.#im NOT going to UF. i would rather die. its a personal grudge. also they suck and barely accept anybody even though the school SUCKS AND IT#SO EXPENSIVE FOR NO REASON#i wanted to do marine bio two years ago but theres soooo many problems with that. including ticks#I HATE TICKS#“but joel. isnt it MARINE science? there arent ticks in the ocean” YOURE WRONG. TICKS ARE EVERYWHERE. also marine bio has a lot to do with#marshes and there ARE ticks in marshes. and maritime hammocks where id be spending a lot of time. you would not believe the amount of ticks#ive gotten from my marine bio and environmental management classes. its so many. so many ticks
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seafoam-taide · 7 days
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I feel insane. Listening to some people talk about struggling with balanced consistent eating and out of every point they make to why it's a struggle they keep circling back to its so expensive. I feel like. Can people hear themselves. Does anyone hear how insane that sounds. Food is hard because it's so expensive. Food. That thing you need to. You know. Survive. To live . The most basic. Food is so expensive nowadays it's so hard to eat enough. HELLO? THAT'S INSANE
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psychedelictenno · 3 months
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monster-noises · 3 months
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sent you a small kofi! I hope thats okay
Absolutely my dear, that's very kind and generous of you and I really appreciate it 🥺
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izzy-b-hands · 3 months
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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