up-in-my-bunghole
Ode to Fandom
37K posts
20NB with ADHD, I just want to hold all my blorbos in my hands Supernatural, Merlin, Hellaverse, and SO MUCH MORE
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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someone should make one of those PSA style posts about "not adopting trendy pets that you can't commit to taking care of and eventually throwing them away" but about entering relationships with love-starved trans girls
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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I do love it when they make him spin.
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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Wow i just found two new articles with headers that fucking completely misrepresent that wat Michael Moore's recent open letter said:
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what the fuck man, are you expecting people not to actually read the rest of the article?
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do you think people aren't going to read this part?
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fuck off with that, the man is 100% cool with Luigi
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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Prostitution (18+)
Sevika x Fem!Reader
SYNOPSIS: Of all the girls in the brothel, and she picked you.
WARNINGS: Brothel work (prostitute!reader), dom!Sevika, sub!reader, hair pulling, leather lingerie, grinding, fingering, strap-on use (r!receiving), Daddy Sevika, biting (briefly)
WORD COUNT: 2.1K
A/N: In honor of Arcane Season 2 coming out today, thought I would bring back one of my best kinktober prompts with everybody's favorite muscle mommy. Briefly considered making a part 2 for this but lemme know what you guys think?
dividers made by @cafekitsune
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Why did you think this was a good idea?
Well, truth be told, you didn’t think this was a good idea… But it was the only idea you had left. Your family was dead, like everyone was in the Undercity. Your partner got herself killed from a shimmer overdose, and you were facing being homeless. Your entire world was turned upside down and it was all fucked to no end. But now you had to pick up the pieces.
You were hired at the brothel. What the actual fuck were you thinking? Well, you knew Babette, and she was willing to give you a chance. It was decent money, and you were given free food during every shift. How could you turn it down?
It was your first week and you have already been through hell. The women who came to the brothel tended to be high on shimmer and sloppy at best, but the men; they were aggressive, vicious, and you found yourself leaving with aches and pains every single night.
And yet, when you entered the room that you were assigned to today, you were surprised to say the least. The outfit on the bench was… strange. Normally, the clientele wanted something revealing, lace, and soft bright colors. No, you were given something black, made of leather, and matching black heels to complete the look.
“Don’t question it,” You told yourself. “Just put it on.”
You slowly stripped off all your clothes and pulled on the leather bustier and black lace panties. Your fingers twitched slightly as you strapped the heels to your feet and ran your fingers through your hair… Your lipstick was a deep maroon color, and you had dark, dramatic eyeliner. Seems like you thought it all out already?
Who was your client today? Why were you so nervous? What if it was a man that was three times your size? What if it was more than one man? What if you got hurt today?
“Did you hear about who she picked today?” A shiver raced down your spine as you approached the curtains in front of your door, biting down on your painted lip. Who were they talking about?
“Oh, I heard. Cute little new girl is about to get ruined today, huh?” You… they were talking about you! But who else? Who was she?
You’ll get your answer soon enough.
It felt like forever until you heard heavy footfalls in the hallways. Whispers carried in the corridors, along with the aggressive clicks of heels from your fellow ‘coworkers’ running away from whoever was making their presence known inside of the building. Your fingers trembled as you dared a peek out from behind your curtain.
Not even a second later, the curtain was being pulled back and in walked your client… Tall, muscular, handsome, and absolutely terrifying.
The brothel’s most regular visitor. Silco’s right hand… the person that everyone in the underground fears.
Sevika.
You nearly fell down the stairs, heels slipping on the concrete flooring as you tried to back away and give her the space she deserved. But it seemed she had other ideas.
Before your body could come in contact with the ground, the woman reached out and grabbed both of your hips with her hands. Her right hand was warm and calloused, a pulse beneath her flesh, but her left hand? Cold, sharp, and thrumming with the energy of her mechanical arm hidden beneath that cloak she always wears.
“Easy, doll,” Her voice is deep, husky almost as she steps forward and lowers you down to the stable surface behind you. Shivers raced down your back, and you couldn’t stop yourself from trembling in her grasp. For a moment, neither of you said anything. But then her eyes raked all over your body and she breathed, hard. “Damn, look at you… Pretty little thing all dressed up just for me?”
Were you supposed to speak? You have heard so many stories about Sevika… how aggressive and cruel she is out there on the streets, and how she kills without mercy or a care in the world. You were scared of her, to say the least… And Sevika could see it in your eyes. She knew what her reputation was and was more than happy to push the agenda.
“Scared of me?”
You inhaled sharply, your hands slowly sliding from your sides to hold onto her forearms. The whirring of the mechanics of her arm made your thighs tremble. “N-No, miss…”
“Funny,” Sevika reached down and gently ran her rough fingertips along the edge of your jaw before she slid her hand in your hair. “Only dumb girls feel no fear… Now, you aren’t dumb, are you sweet thing?”
 You breathed slowly for a second, fearing you said something wrong to her. She looked amused, but looks could be deceiving… The gap between her two front teeth was cute. You focused on the crease of her jawline, the scars on her face, and the way her brows were pulled down.
She was so fucking hot that you forgot why you were afraid… and then, she grabbed at your hair, making you yelp and submit. Your hands had slid far too high up, and she was punishing you… Fuck, she was punishing you! “Better watch it. I’m paying to touch you, not the other way around.”
“But—” You hiccupped, looking into her eyes for the briefest second. She waited for your words to continue. “S-sorry…”
“Oh, she has manners?” Sevika showed off the smile that made your stomach flutter for a brief moment and reached down with both hands, gripping your thighs and lifting you off the floor like you weighed almost nothing to her. Out of instinct, your hands reached up and grabbed onto her shoulders for stability. “We’re going to have fun.”
Before you could utter another sound, you felt something press against you… something solid, and stiff. Something that felt like it was alive, right against the wet spot on your panties. A low moan left your throat, and you just immediately knew what it was.
“Take it off, doll,” Sevika breathed against your neck. “You know you want to.”
Fingers trembled as you reached for the cloak on her shoulders and slowly pulled it over her head. The brown fabric dropped to the floor behind her, and you looked down, confirming your suspicion. Sevika was strapped under her pants… the bulge was now way more obvious without the cloak.
“Feel that?” Sevika pressed her flesh hand to your rear and stepped forward, spinning you around and sitting herself down on the couch behind you. The second you were in her lap, she was pushing you down onto her hips and grinding the bulge against your cunt like it was her damn birthright to do so.
Your pulse quickened with every passing second, and you dropped your face down against her chest, breathing in the scent of tobacco and her natural scent… Strong, earthy, like a roaring wood fire. You didn’t know what came over you, but before you could scold yourself for knowing better, your tongue came in contact with her bear neck and your lips trailed all over her exposed skin.
Sevika tensed up and her fingers went from holding your hips to sliding under the fabric of your panties, grabbing at your flesh and making you instinctively bite down on her shoulder. Nowhere near enough to hurt, but enough for her to feel it. Sevika looked like she was about to start climbing the walls as she felt your hips roll forward on top of her.
With a simple flick of her metallic fingers, the underwear given to you was ripped off your body and you barely had time to recover before Sevika was lifting you off her lap and reaching to pull the zipper of her pants down. A sigh left your throat, and you could only push your face into her neck; Sevika didn’t like that.
“Nuh-uh,” She grabbed your chin with her flesh hand, pulling you back to look down into her eyes. Her grey irises were staring directly passed your fears and into your soul. It was like she was lighting you on fire from the inside out. “You look at me. Prettiest fucking girl is going to look at me when I fuck her.”
Her words made you blush from the tips of your ears down to your neck and you almost forgot that this was your job… It was easy to think that Sevika had just picked you out of everyone in the underground to have a night with. Not… that she was paying for it.
“Don’t worry,” Sevika smirked, that crease in her brow becoming more prominent as you felt her hand leave your face and slide down between your legs. When you felt her calloused fingers against your soft wet folds, you forgot how to breathe. “Daddy’s gonna take good care of you.”
The sound you made was beyond pornographic. Two of her fingers slipped inside of your wetness without any kind of resistance. Your entire body went rigid, and your eyes fluttered for a brief second before you forced yourself to look at her. Sevika smirked and basked in your expressions, slowly pushing you up and down on her digits.
What did you even say? What were you supposed to do? Sevika isn’t like your other clients… She’s so intense, even when she’s barely touching you. It feels like you are drowning, even if it’s just her presence surrounding you. Your inner walls squeeze at her fingers as she curls them at just the right angle. Sevika smirked.
“Oh, you like that?” Sevika kept you steady on her lap with her metal hand while the other one worked in and out of your pussy. “So wet for me, already? Barely touched you, doll.”
“Fuuck...” You rolled your entire body forward, biting your lip and leaning down just enough to press soft kisses against her face. “P-Please—”
“Please, what?” Sevika said sternly. “Use your words, doll.”
“I… I n-need… ohfuck...”
“Come on,” She smirked, curling her fingers at just the right angle that you almost feel your legs give out. “Just say it—”
“Fuck me,” You whine, finally giving in. “Please, please, please… fuck me, daddy.”
There was a hunger in her eyes that wasn’t there before. It was like a switch had flipped inside of her because in mere seconds, you went from sitting on her lap to her pushing you down into the floor that was littered with pillows, blankets, anything you could desire to make this as comfortable as possible.
Sevika all but ripped her pants to try and free what had been teasing you initially. You only had a few seconds to really look at the strap around her hips before she was lining the tip of the bright purple silicone against your core.
“Pretty little thing,” Sevika growled, almost ferally as she slammed down overtop of you. Suddenly, the leather around your chest felt entirely too tight, like you couldn’t breathe. You began frantically reaching for the ties to undo the restraint on your chest, and Sevika noticed because you gasped at her ripping the ropes off the bustier and pushing the fabric apart to really look at you.
“Now, because you were a good girl…” Sevika gently prodded your opening, making you whimper and reach for her biceps. “You get a warning before you get fucked.”
“Daddy, please—”
That was her trigger. You could only grab at her muscles before she was plunging all of her strap inside of your cunt like it belonged to her. You tried to scream, but nothing came out other than a strangled squeak as your head went back on the pillows and tears filled your eyes.
You aren’t a stranger to being stretched out like this. It wasn’t like it was your first day at the brothel… but it was your first day with Sevika. She only gave you a few seconds to adjust to that cock before she was reaching down with her flesh fingers and gently rubbing at your clit.
Your soft squeaks faded into intense moans, much to the woman’s delight. She chuckled, watching you squirm and look at her like she was an alien of some sort.
“Not what you expected, doll?” Sevika teased, rolling her hips forward and making you moan like the whore you were. “Didn’t think I’d care about making you feel good?”
Very stupidly, you nodded.
“Let me fix that,” She leaned down, and you curled your fingers into the leather of her jacket before bracing yourself for the most intense workday of your entire fucking life.
“Be good for daddy and I’ll make you cum so hard that you’ll beg me not to leave.”
And that is exactly what Sevika did.
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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Least fun parts of thrift shopping:
This thrift shop used to have jeans for like $3 and now everything is priced like it's new
Hear about a cool new thrift shop in town and you check it out and it's actually "vintage upcycling and consignment" so the shredded jorts are $250 on sale
This place used to get cool stuff but the tiktok haul resale people found it and now anything decent is snapped up and immediately resold for like $500 online
"Ooh this is cute" and then you check and it's shein
"Ooh this is cute" and then you check and it's Harry P*tter
The jacket of your dreams is in your price range but it's 3 sizes too small
Your absolute FAVOURITE thrifted item finally wears out beyond salvation and when you do research to maybe find a replacement it's been discontinued since 1983
Check the pockets and find used kleenex
STICKY THING
This was exactly what I was looking for but I can't get the weed remnants out
"This is obviously broken but I know how to fix it" (never fixes it)
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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the knee thing™
source: @salmonzouju on twitter
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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ok so this is diabolical
jayce's memory reality
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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My god these bitches gay… good for them
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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Sorry I'm going to be more normal about him
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”
I’m sorry?
That’s a challenge.
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Oreos aquired.
I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first
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But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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In literary/cinema mediums, when a character extends their hand in friendship while hiding their other hand behind their back, that can actually symbolize tension between trust and betrayal
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The hidden hand means the character is hiding something, literally or metaphorically. A weapon, a scheme, an ulterior motive. It signifies that their friendship is likely a trap
TLDR Maddie was always hiding something and the writers hinted at it the whole time
Fuck that bitch leprachaun
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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everyone is always acting like there is some crisis of human interaction with one another because everyone is overly sensitive to how strangers approach them and like. no actually its because nobody has any fucking manners. social etiquette has legitimately vanished. it makes interacting with strangers miserable because people don’t know how to fucking behave in public.
like it is rude to stare. it is rude to point. it is rude to have a loud phone conversation in a quiet place. it’s rude to listen to music or videos or whatever on your device with no headphones on a loud volume, or at any volume in an enclosed or quiet space. these are rude things to do. like i’m sorry while some etiquette is silly, an acceptable level of decorum is necessary to make existing in public bearable for everybody…….it is LITERALLY common courtesy
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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up-in-my-bunghole · 3 hours ago
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A little Christmas present from me, I guess.
"Someone's drunk"
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