#but it’s freaking me out and like I just want to leave right now

[0omillo0]

I’m so glad you’ve finished your school! I know school can be rough especially end of the year. Speaking of free time. 🥺👉👈 How about (surprise) angst/hurt with Han this time (at this point I’m trying to go through all the members at least once) Y/N is having just like, the worst day. They come home to Han for comfort but he is also having just like, the worst day. So they argue and Han walls out, but later there’s a fire at the apartment complex and when he comes back there’s like a whole scene and he freaks out. Y/N is already in the back of an ambulance and they’re fine but Han takes five ever to find them and is freaking out the entire time.

Calling you clingy

Han Jisung x Reader 한지성

a/n: Hi! I’m sorry if this took so long but I’m kinda struggling with my emotions lately and I don’t really like the way I write… hope you’ll like it tho

The day felt doomed from the moment you opened your eyes.

Your alarm hadn’t gone off, leaving you scrambling to get ready. You spilled coffee on your only clean shirt, missed your bus, and when you finally arrived at work, it was like the universe conspired against you. A project you’d poured your heart into was torn apart in a meeting, and the snide comments from a coworker still rang in your ears. By the time you walked through your apartment door that evening, you felt like a frayed wire—one spark away from snapping.

Han sat on the couch, earbuds in, a notebook balanced on his lap. His pen moved furiously across the page, his frustration evident in every stroke. Seeing him there, a small part of your tension eased. He’ll make this better, you thought. He always does…

“Hey,” you said softly, closing the door behind you.

He didn’t look up. “Hey.”

You hesitated, unsure if he’d even heard you. “Han… I’m sorry to bother you but I had the worst day. I don’t even know where to start. I just… I really need you right now. Please…”

You had always been nice to him, always making sure to give him his space. And he knew.

But this time, he sighed, setting his notebook aside but still not meeting your eyes. “Y/N, I can’t do this right now. I’m kind of drowning here myself.”

His words hit you like a cold wave. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, rubbing his temples, “I’ve been dealing with my own stuff all day. I’m exhausted too.”

You stared at him, your throat tightening. “I’m not asking you to solve anything, Han. I just wanted… I needed you to be here with me... I’m sorry-”

Finally, he looked at you, irritation flickering in his eyes. “Stop saying you’re sorry! It’s like… you can’t handle anything without me. You’re always leaning on me, and it’s—” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “It’s clingy, Y/N.”

The word sliced through you like a knife. “Clingy?” you echoed, your voice cracking.

Han stood, pacing in the small space. “Yes, clingy. Every time something goes wrong, I’m the first person you run to, and I can’t—”

“And what?” you interrupted, anger bubbling up. “You can’t handle that? I thought that’s what relationships were for—being there for each other!”

His voice rose to match yours. “It is! But I’m not your emotional punching bag! I have limits too!”

Your chest tightened, tears prickling at your eyes. “Fine. If I’m so clingy, maybe I should stop coming to you altogether.”

“Maybe you should.” His voice was cold.

He grabbed his keys from the counter and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. The silence that followed felt deafening. You stood frozen, tears spilling over as his words echoed in your head.

You’ve never seen him like this. It hurt so bad it felt like you were drowning in your own tears.

You decided to listen to some music to distract yourself, until..

*Sniff sniff*

The smell of smoke was faint at first, so faint you ignored it. You thought it was coming from outside—someone burning leaves or a neighbor cooking. But then the fire alarm shrieked through the building, and the panic set in.

When you opened the door, smoke poured in, thick and choking. Flames flickered at the end of the hallway. Grabbing your phone and bag, you stumbled into the chaos, your heart pounding as the smoke burned your lungs.

By the time you made it outside, the cool night air felt like relief, but your head swam, and you couldn’t stop coughing. Paramedics found you, guiding you to an ambulance. You barely registered their words as they placed an oxygen mask over your face, the world spinning around you.

While you were fighting for your own life, Han wandered the city, replaying your argument in his head. At first, he felt justified—you’d been overwhelming lately, hadn’t you? But as the minutes stretched into hours, guilt started creeping in. You weren’t clingy; you trusted him enough to lean on him when things got tough. And he’d thrown that trust back in your face.

He turned toward the apartment, ready to apologize, when he saw smoke curling into the sky. His heart stopped.

“No. No, no, no,” he whispered, breaking into a sprint.

The fire was massive, consuming the upper floors of the building—your floor. His lungs burned as he ran, panic rising with every step. By the time he reached the scene, fire trucks and ambulances surrounded the complex.

“Y/N!” he shouted, shoving through the crowd of evacuees. “Have you seen Y/N?”

No one answered. He called your name again, louder this time, his voice cracking. His legs felt like they might give out, his thoughts racing to every worst-case scenario.

Finally, he spotted you in the back of an ambulance. Relief hit him so hard that he nearly collapsed.

“Y/N!” he cried, rushing to your side.

You looked up, your face pale but alive, the oxygen mask resting on your lap. “You came back,” you said hoarsely.

Han dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands shaking as he reached for yours. “I—I thought—I thought I lost you,” he stammered, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry. I never should have left. I was selfish, and I was wrong. I’m so, so sorry.”

You stared at him for a moment, your expression unreadable. Finally, you pulled the mask down, your voice trembling. “You called me clingy, Han. You left me when I needed you most. Do you know how much that hurt?”

His face crumpled. “I know. I was an idiot. I didn’t mean it—I was overwhelmed, and I took it out on you. But I’ll never do that again. I swear. You mean everything to me, Y/N. Everything.”

Your lip trembled, tears welling up in your eyes. “You made me feel like I didn’t matter to you. Like I was just… too much.”

Han cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing a tear from your cheek. “You’re not too much. You’ll never be too much. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to. I’m so sorry.”

For a moment, you hesitated, the pain still fresh in your chest. But the sincerity in his eyes—the fear, the guilt, the love—broke down your walls. You nodded slowly, leaning into his touch.

“Okay,” you whispered. “But it’s going to take time.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hands steadying as he held you close. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.”

That night, you stayed together in your apartement, after making sure you were all right at the hospital, the weight of the day still heavy but no longer unbearable. Han didn’t let go of you for a second, whispering soft reassurances until your eyes closed.

You weren’t sure how long it would take to heal, but as you drifted off, you knew one thing: Han was willing to try.

@intartaruginha @hannamoon143 @omgsecretsecret @inlovewithstraykids @whoa-jo @madirye062 @vixensss @sseawavee @emilyywhyy @halfwinterhalfuniverse @velvetmoonlght @flourishmoon

[danacaptus]

𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑!𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑 .ᐟ

kinda dark, kidnap, ex!Michael x reader, short

Boyfriend!kaiser who got dumped by his girlfriend for getting too aggressive and scary :o

kidnapper!kaiser who couldn't move on :(

ᡣ𐭩.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪₊ ⊹ The cold of the floor sent chills up your spine, The punishment was definitely working, because you were feeling a bit of regret right now. Maybe If you hadn't tried to escape this wouldn't be happening :(

When you broke up with Kaiser you were genuinely scared. You just packed up and left his place when he was in his practice, went to your apartment and texted him a simple message saying that he was getting a little bit "too aggressive" and that he was scaring you off. But you didn't expect him to freak out so much─ You hoped that maybe he would apologize, maybe beg a bit? But that was just a hope, and he clearly wasn't begging for your forgiveness in his replies. You were acting like he beat you up, like─ maybe he slapped you sometimes, and a time or another he punched you... But he didn't use all his strength─ at least no most of the time! You were just exaggerating

"???"

"the fuck?"

"You are a drama queen, im going home right now."

Oh, he was ready to show you how stupid you were, to slap some sense into you─but then, you weren't at home, and none of your things were here. He hopes this is some kind of joke because now, he DOES feel like beating you up. He is definitely not panicking!

"Where are you?"

"Now you're going out without even telling me?"

"Where are your things? What is your problem?"

"."

"Reply, bitch"

It actually made you a bit sad to see him all confused while spamming you messages, so you decided to reply one last time, for the sake of your new old relationship

"I told you we breaking up, im sorry"

With that, You muted his messages and let him spam. You really thought that was the start of a new stage in your life; even when you missed him everyday, everytime he showed up to your apartment you ignored him; then you changed the lock of your house, letting him bang your door till he was fighting with a neighbor who told him to stop making so much noise in a apartments complex.

Kaiser couldn't believe this, you were LEAVING him? You told him you would love him forever even with his small flaws, in fact, he thought he had you thinking that you were the one with defects in the relationship; everytime he hurt you was your fault, you were dumb and annoying, even when that was exactly how he wanted you to be. But now you were acting like you were too clever, you should have known you were lucky to have someone like him, someone who put up with you even if you were an idiot. And he would never find someone like you, and realizing that even more everyday was killing him. You were his, you would always be. So he didn't think that lockpicking your apartment door at night is a big deal, and tying you in his room is not a big deal either, after some weeks he even let you walk around the rooms the house! Obviously not out the house though.

But you didn't know how to appreciate his kindness, and thats how you ended tied in a dark empty room; hungry, dressed only in your underwear, an AC blasting freezing cold air and a ridiculously thin but warm blanket threw teasingly in the other side of the room, out of your reach. He left you here after last night he caught you red-handed─ He was kind enough to let you go wander around, but you had to try to open the window and leave, You couldn't just stay there, waiting for him─ He took the time to give you a few hits before leaving you in that room.

You just hoped that it was already getting later, that michael would finally arrive and forgive you, take you out from this room. Your eyes were fluttering shut; daydreaming about going out here, eating a delicious meal and putting on some warm clothes. You were almost asleep when Kaiser finally burst in, the warmth from outside and the sudden sound of the door waking you up.

"M-Michael!" You felt strangely glad, inmediately trying to go to him when the ropes yanked you back, leaving you like a whining mess. "M-Michael! Please, forgive me! Im not trying to scape again" you sniffed, wiping the tears away from your eyes to see him clearly, he could save you from here even if he was the one who put you in this situation. He was still annoyed but he held back a smirk, bending down to untie your ropes. You tried to hug him, to make him forgive you, but he just pushed you away. "You are a pathetic bitch, trying to scape and then acting like this. I hope you learned a lesson" he grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the room, closing the door behind him. "You better be glad i just locked you up here, if you make something like that again i doubt you'll make out alive" he lied, he obviously would never kill you on purpose. You just needed a little scare.

"Y-yes, Michael... Im sorry" he dragged you to his bedroom, throwing you some clothes. "Yeah, whatever, i forgive you. Get dressed and make me some dinner, quick" he said with arrogance, condescension dripping from his voice. He was happy that you were finally noticing that you shouldn't be stubborn with him

𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝓑𝗒 @lil-liaa

[sams-art-domain]

Why not me?

Ivan/till

No alien AU

Inspired by this artwork by @carlozw

Chapter 1 of 2, 4007 words, 99.99% angst,

Till is more emotionally mature than I meant to make him so he’s a little sillier.

Tw - general TW of death and all that entails

hehehe Please reblog if you enjoy! :3

ff under the cut.

It’s summarized pretty well by the first few sentences.

A weight on his shoulder, a squeeze around him. Maybe even an all too familiar head pat. Till knew what was going on,

 Ivan couldn’t even leave him alone through the afterlife.  He was sure of it. 

That freak had somehow found a way to bother Till, even though he was dead. And it was starting to get hard to bare, 

Till sat in a criss-cross position, drawing. Not really paying attention to what, it had been about a week since Ivan died, and his fucked up producers was going to make Till show face on stage in a few hours. Just saying a few things about the… stunt Ivan pulled, and he did not want to do that. 

Till’s face reddened at the idea of it. He couldn’t believe that selfish- annoying- Idi- 

Till jumped out of his train of thought- A strong hand patted his head, he could feel it but it wasn’t there. 

“Fuckin- Ivan-“ Till swatted his hands above his head. Even though he was alone in his bedroom, he felt stupid and if anyone else saw him, they’d probably call him crazy. 

Till stared at his paper, he had drawn the stage. Where Ivan was shot. By some insane fucked fan. Of his. His fan. It wasn’t Ivan’s fault that Till was a worse singer. If Till sang better that fan wouldn’t have flipped out and shot Ivan. If Till had moved faster then he might’ve been the dead one. Not Ivan. 

Till stood up. Suddenly very- something he didn’t know what he felt but he was pissed about it anyway, 

“God fuck this-“ He went to go punch a wall. Even though this was an apartment rented by his producers, they would have to pay for the damage. 

He hit something that’s definitely not a wall. 

“Fucking- IVAN-“ He hit him again. And again, and again, and for once in his 17 years of living he would have done anything to have been able to see Ivan’s face. Probably smiling like the weird ass freak he was. 

He slumped against the wall? Ivan? He actually didn’t care. He was tired. Really fucking tired of having to feel like this. His face scrunched up in that empty angry way. When you want to scream with frustration but there's no air in your lungs to scream with. Till stared at the floor of his stupidly fancy building.

Ivan’s fucking dead and Till just gets to move on? He gets to go show face today and make thousands of dollars while Ivan just sleeps in his coffin. It’s not fair. Till should be in the ground right now. Not Ivan. 

Till leaned more of his weight on to the wall(ivan). He exhaled in less of a sigh and more of a last-breath kinda way. He felt dizzy. Exhaustion taking hold in his bones. Like he had never not been tired. “Why not me?” He asked under his breath. Knowing no one would hear it. 

He fell asleep standing there. 

He woke up an hour or so later. Lying in his bed, his heated blanket on the highest setting and wrapped around him. He curled in on himself. Not really remembering how he got to his bed but he didn’t really care. He checked the time. 

1:45ish. He has to get up, like. Now if he wants to make it to the stage in time. “Fuck this…” Till Weakly hit his head on his pillow a few times. He didn’t want to get up. 

Something tugged at his arm. Tug. tug. Till looked at his arm, above the blanket. Something definitely was tugging his arm. 

“Ivan-” Till knew he sounded insane. It was kinda stupid, really. But what else would it be? He wasn’t exactly close with any other dead person. 

“Augh-” Till grunted as one swift, strong tug had him upright in a sitting position. Tills head spun from the sudden change. He felt weak. And tired. Really, really tired. But of course, the producers wouldn’t care that he was being haunted or that he was grieving or that he was tired. They’d threaten him. Or his mom. Tell him that her wellbeing rests on his shoulders. And he knows it does, They wouldn't be able to afford her treatment otherwise. It sucks but that's how it is. And Till loves his mom. He isn’t a quitter. 

Till stood up, and as he did, he felt Ivans hand pat his shoulder. Which was oddly tame and almost comforting. He sighed, and then got dressed in the outfit his producers instructed him to. All black, the shirt having a wide neck that was slightly off of the shoulder. The same outfit he wore in round six. The same outfit Till wore when Ivan died. Sick fucks. Didn’t give a crap about him. 

Whatever. Not like he had a choice. 

Till went to the bathroom, did his own routine rather swiftly. Covered his eyebags with concealer.then swiped eyeliner on his eyelid. Per request of the producers, he put on some subtle black eyeshadow. Till looked in the mirror. HIs brain still felt asleep. Fuzzy. Sedated almost. He just looked at himself. Thin. Thinner than usual? Tired. More exhausted than usual? He looked kinda dead. Ironic all things considered. Till felt like crying. His nose burned like he was about to. But he couldn’t cry. He just put on makeup.. 

He was hugged from behind. It was horrifically comforting. If this was all in his head he was gonna need to have some serious medication to fix it. It felt so real and as much as Till wanted to believe it was real there was always that doubt. ‘You’re crazy. Insane.’ Till didn’t really know how to feel. Never did anymore.

 He wanted to quit this stupid idol job and do something with his stupid life. But he loved singing. 

He wanted to cry but also didn't want to wallow in his own self pity. 

He wanted to see Ivan’s stupid face but also wanted to forget him more than anything.

His life was just stupid contradictions and ultimatums. Hell- his own birth was due to a failed abortion. His mother wanted to get rid of him but couldn’t. 

Till slammed his fists down on the bathroom sink counter. 

Ivan pulled him away from the sink. Holding his hands, still behind him. Till squeezed his eyes shut. Willing the tears to go away. He went to check the time. Ivan held his hand still. Sometimes Till wasn’t even sure this was Ivan. He thought Ivans soul? Spirit? Whatever. Would have been troublesome. And chaotic. Not cuddly and touchy-feely.

 Maybe this is what Ivan had wanted. To be near to TIll. To be able to hug and hold TIll. Maybe it would’ve been easier if Till had let him. Why’d Till even push Ivan awa-

Till's phone rang. He scrambled to pick up his phone. Ivan let go of him. Tills phone read “evil assholes” The producers. “Fuck my life I guess.” 

Till answered. 

“WE NEED YOU HERE IN 5 MINUTES. NOW. THE TAXI IS ON THE WAY. BE READY, IF YOU’RE LATE YOU BETTER CATCH A TAXI TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE THE BILLS ARE GONNA GET REAL HARD TO PAY REAL FAST.” The producer on the other end practically screamed through the phone. Good thing Till hadn’t cried. He wouldn't of had time to redo his makeup. 

“Yes. Sir.” Till spoke through his teeth. Enraged he was being held by a leash like a dog. He wanted to punch that fucker in his jaw for threatening him like this. Till hung up aggressively. A silent fuck you to the producer. 

Till walked out of the bathroom. Seething. So fucking angry. Too. Fucking. Angry. Till could feel his breath hitch like he was gonna scream. But couldn’t because this was an apartment with thin walls. Didn’t want any of the stupid rich ass CEO’s next door to flip out. Instead, Till sat on the cough to get his shoes on. Slamming his fists down on his knees hard enough to bruise before slipping his shoes on.

Till, now with his shoes on, had a moment. Briefly mind you. But a moment. To be really. REALLY. Fucking angry. Nothing even mattered to Till right now he just wanted to hurt and hurt and hurt. Whether it be him or someone else didn’t actually occur to him. Till gripped his own shoulders like a crazy person. Furious he had to live like this. Why’d his mother get sick? What did he ever do to deserve such fucked up shit to happen?  

“Fuck. THis-” Till hit his own head with the ball of his hand. He didn't even know what to do with himself. He just wanted to hurt something. He stood up. Practically shaking with anger. He couldn't even remember why he was angry. Hardly. He should be used to being held by a string like this, it had happened since his late middle childhood. When his mom got sick ad his life was turned upside down and the fucked organization that ran this show found him and abused him until he was so completely dependant on them he couldnt escape. Honestly? “Why am I even surprised!? THEY NEVER EVEN FUCKING HELPED!!!” Till was trying to stop from yelling but he had let that one slip. He trembled with anger and he couldn’t put it anywhere. His hands balled into fists seemingly on their own. He turned towards a wall and began punching. Harder. Harder. Harder. His hands hurt bad. His hands were scraped now. He kept hitting the wall and then-

“Till- you have a ride prepared. It is here now.” A higher pitched voice called through the door. Snapped Till out of his rage. 

Till looked at the door and then his hands. Shaking like he was in a snowstorm. His left, index knuckle bloodied. He didn't have time to care. It would just make the producers look bad. Till didn't mind that at all. He exhaled. And turned to the door. Putting on a straight face. Trying to hide any evidence of his breakdown from before. He could only imagine he looked horrible. He hadn't eaten in 2 days. Hadnt slept well since Ivan died. He hadn't even hardly gotten out of bed since Ivan died. Only getting up this morning because he had to.

Till ran his hand down his face, then opened the door. 

Till had made lots of mistakes in his life, but walking out that door? Probably the worst. He was bombarded with paparazzi, 3 professional grade cameras. Tons of other people with their phones out. How do they always find where he lives? What the fuck. 

“Till, I'm so sorry they just followed me and then I couldn't get them to leave-” The girl apologized, but Till just nodded. Deciding he was gonna mentally tap-out right about now. Already overwhelmed as people yelled questions at him(that he of course, ignored.) 

They practically crawled through the crowd and to the taxi as he got in, it finally being a bit quieter. 

“I’m so sorry- I didn't know if i should call security or not, I hadn’t meant for it to get this out of hand.” The woman looked like she was going to cry, and Till knew it wasn’t her fault. 

“Next time just call security, they’re here for a reason. It’s not your fault they don’t know how to act.” Till looked out the window.  But then decided to just rest his head on the front passenger seat. Already far too tired to be doing this. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder, he went to look and woe-and-behold, no one. Well, not technically no one. Ivan. The woman driving had shivered, under her breath, saying something about how cold it was in the car. Promptly turning up the heat in the car, despite it being 80 degrees. 

Ivan hadn’t felt cold to Till. He had always seemed somewhat cold when he was alive, but he was always warm to Till. Something of comfort even. Till always felt far from Ivan when he was alive. Though now Ivan felt so close to Till it was suffocating. 

Kind of like the night after it was made public that Mizi was kidnapped, almost a year ago. Ivan had visited Till. He had felt so weirdly there. And close. He was so real then even though usually Ivan had felt fake and far away. He had even asked before hugging Till. Who at the time was so distraught and scared that he had let Ivan hug him. It would have been normal for any other person, but the softness and vulnerability was so new and different. It was really nice. Which is something Till didn’t know he could have with Ivan. Till thought about that night often. He had sat on the couch with Ivan and he wrapped his arm around Tills shoulder. They hadn’t said much that night. Just hello, goodbye, and Ivan had asked- “Can I hold you?” That was really it. Ivan had hugged and cuddled Till while he cried. But since then they hadn’t said much. And then Ivan was shot. And died. And Till could officially say that this was the worst year of his life. The only thing that could make it worse was his mom dy- 

Don’t jinx it. Do not finish that fucking sentence. 

Till had started to think he was the one hurting the people he loved. The day before till was going to confess to Mizi she was kidnapped and had not been heard from since. The day that he had started to really think about Ivan as more than just an annoying guy he’d known for years he died. He died. 

The car stopped. Great. He was at the place he thought of as hell on earth. It was so fucking hot in the car yet the woman driving still had the heat on. 

He sat in the car. Wishing a crazed fan would shoot him next. But he wasn’t shot, so he opened the door. 

Y’know how earlier he thought he had made the worst mistake of his life? Well this was a worse one. 

People, people, people people- Till had decided then he HATED people. There were hundreds. Some with microphones and news reporters. Some were just phones. Some polaroids. He hated being watched like this, fuck his stupid life.  

A man holding a large camera asked him a question, loud enough that he could actually hear outside of the loud ambience of a crowd this huge. “Had you been dating Ivan before he was shot?” 

Why? The. Fuck. was the first question he was asked. Not. ‘Are you okay, how have you been? Why are you back so early?’ 

No. It had to be about that stupid thing- Ivan- Fucking hell Ivan why did you have to kiss me- and then die?! 

Till thought he might’ve punched the guy. Then he felt a strong hand grab his. Ivan. It made Till tired. Sad. Less angry. So he did what he did best and ignored the question. Just wanting to get backstage and away from these people. 

And he did just that. 

Once backstage, Ivan had let go of his hand. And Till felt an emptiness. Ivans soul was very… comforting? Safe? Whatever. 

Till didn’t get to feel safe here. 

As he walked through the entrance to the room directly leading to the stage, several makeup artists rushed him to a seat and began working. Obviously, they had to make him as emo as possible. Heavy eyeliner, using contour to make him look more tired than he was. Trying their best to really make him look like he was mourning- but in an aesthetic way not “I’ve barely eaten or slept in days because I’m, so horrifically distraught and empty and of course the soul of my dead person is haunting me why wouldn't he?” kinda way. 

Once they had finished, The producer. Anakt. Came up to him. Great. 

“WE NEEDED YOU HEAR 10 MINUTES AGO!!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN???” 

Till looked up at him, a sickening amount of rage washed over him. He stayed silent though. 

“UGh- fuck this. Just go out there, say some kind of basic-ass eulogy, confirm you are NOT. gay or queer supporting at all, tell them that round 7 is in two months and then get off the stage. I’ll be deducting 10% of your paycheck for your tardiness. Don’t let it happen again.” Anakt walked away. Leaving a Till trembling with rage and fear.

He stood up, and made face. 

On this stage alone is a privilege. Usually only given to the winners of Alien Stage. But of course, Till is standing here because he wasn’t shot. 

He walked up to the microphone. Sick with so many emotions. Resisting the urge to cry. And he didn’t know what to say. The crowd went silent. 

Till figured if this was gonna be about Ivan, this was gonna be honest. Something he never was with Ivan. 

“Hello everyone. I-” Till gulped. his throat already dry. “I’m here to talk about the events that happened 6 days ago on this stage. The day that Ivan-” He paused, debating his words. “The day that Ivan was murdered. Shot 3 times through his back.” Till swallowed tears. 

He looked at the crowd, the one that was usually cheering. But now dead silent. 

He felt a strong hug. Arms wrapped around him. He decided to keep going. 

:”I’ll miss him. A lot. And I don't think my life will ever be the same again.” Arms squeezed tight. Till let it happen. 

“I think I deserved to have died on that day. Taken Ivans place.” Despite being a celebrity, Till wasn't good at words and struggled on what to say next. Ivan rested his head on Tills. It felt like it was just him and Ivan. Words came easier. 

“But I didn't. So it's up to me to keep living now. I’m sorry that this is how things ended up.” Till sighed. 

Ivan pressed his forehead to Tills. And Till leaned into it. He probably looked a little weird, but who cared. 

“If I could say something to him today I’d say this: 

Ivan, you have been the person I've been closest to for almost 10 years. You have made me happy and mad and sad and made me feel just as much as I didn't know I  could. But despite that you’ve always been fabricated. Hidden. Far away. Yet I could always feel your warmth. LIke the sun, so far away yet warm all the same. 

Maybe under different circumstances we’re normal kids. Not forced to fame. Not used liked dolls. Maybe we bicker and fight but we never have to worry about faking it for PR. Maybe you’re genuine and real and we’re close and we hang out after school and play video games. 

That’s truly impossible now. And I think- I think I hate the man that shot you. Which is hard for me to say because I don't want to hate anyone. But I do. I know I do. And I think there was a time in my life where I hated you. For always being so clingy yet distant. For always being so blunt but hidden. It pissed me off. 

But now I don't think there's anything in the world that would make me hate you. Nothing at all. The only reason I hated you is because no matter how much I tried I couldn't understand you. You were so fixated on me. But was never honest. Never real.  Never close- I’m just going in circles now. But anyway. I didn’t understand you, and I still don't, and I don't think I ever will understand you. And I guess I'm stuck with that now because you’re gone. Sometimes I think you’re not really gone. Sometimes it feels like you’re right there. That I could reach out and feel your stupid hand. Or that if I could just squint a little harder I could see your stupid smile. But I guess you are really gone. I’ll never know you. And that's my biggest regret. I think. 

Since you’ve died I've barely slept, eaten, or got out of bed. Since you’ve died every morning when I check my phone, I feel something in me die when there's no good morning. Every night, I feel like my whole routine is thrown off because I don't get a good night's text. I don’t think I've had any real conversation with someone since you’ve died. The fucked up part of someone dying is that they’re existence doesn’t end. They still exist, just not with you. They’re still alive in an unfulfilled routine, a memory, a dream, a feeling. The hurt. And it's the worst. Like how when you empty a cup of water, you’ll get thirsty again but the cup is empty, and eventually you die of dehydration. And there's nothing I can do to fix it.”

Till couldn’t stop from letting a few tears slip. Ivan squeezed him, holding him like he was trying to protect him from himself. Till swallowed and kept going. He knew his producers were much more than furious at this point. Figured he could keep going. 

“I said that I wish I had died that day, not you. And that's true. Ever since you died all I have been able to think of is ‘why not me?’ ‘Why wasn't I shot?’ And I still wish I was dead right now instead of you. Though I don't think I would've wanted you to suffer like I am right now. The last thing I would have wanted was for you to be forced on stage to excuse your death while you’re still grieving. So there's gotta be a reason I didn't die. I don't know what it is. But I know that there has to be one. Right as you died. Hands around my throat, you smiled. You smiled like this was the best day of your life, and maybe it was. Maybe you were surprised, but happy with your death. Maybe you wanted it. You always were selfish. Always just doing whatever you wanted- or maybe you didn't want it? But you had accepted it anyway. I don't know. I could ask questions like these all day. It doesn’t matter.”

Ivan was holding till so gently. With so much caution and love- and Till was crying. Fat, hot tears rolling down his face as he tried to only look at his feet. 

“I don't know what was hoped to be accomplished with this. But I did it. So, before I go, I want to confirm two things.” 

This might be the true, real, most horrific mistake of his life. But Till seemed to have been making lots of those lately. So he figured, Why not one more. From this, he realized something. From Ivan dying and this speech, he had made one of the scariest and most upsetting realizations of his life. And now he was gonna tell the world. He tried to hide his slowing tears as fast as possible.

“Ivan loved me, that's why he kissed me that day.” The crowd seemed to perk up at that, lots of whispers, and Till figured that he might as well make his worst mistake, ever. 

Ivan let go of the hug, him not even expecting this.

Till decided to just say it, get it over with and walk off the stage. “And I love him. Which is why I let him.” Till remembered that at the time, he had tried to push Ivan away, so he added. “Sorta.”

“That is my eulogy for Ivan. Round 7 in two months.” Till walked to backstage, and the crowd fucking erupted with cheers and claps and screams. 

Ivan held his hand the whole time.

also yes of course the title is a mitski reference what do you take me for? A good author?

[irondad-defensesquad]

EDIT: now on AO3!

WARNING: anxiety attack.

DO NOT SHIP PETER AND TONY. P/ROSHIP DNI.

--

“Mr. Stark,” Peter says, breathless. “Mr. Stark, I don’t- I don’t feel so good—”

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

“I don’t know, it just- hurts!”

“Where?”

“I don’t know! It hurts so much!!”

“Shit, hold on, hold on,” Tony helps the boy walk until they reach Med Bay. “Lie down for a bit, alright?”

Peter is heaving, eyes full of tears. Tony does not remember seeing him in so much pain and distress before. It doesn’t seem like Peter has been hiding an injury from patrol, either, he looks genuinely terrified.

“What’s the status, FRI?”

“Peter is experiencing a severe anxiety attack.”

Tony strives to push aside the familiarity of the words. “So… It’s muscle pain?”

“Affirmative. On the back right.”

“A-Am I dying?” Peter asks. “I-I don’t wanna die—”

“You’re not dying, kid—”

“Please, make it stop. Make it stop, Mr. Stark.”

Tony gulps, hoping not to break right now. “I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? I’ll fix this. I promise I will.”

He thinks of what to do next. Since this must be emotional, Tony decides not to give him medication for now. He’ll do something else to calm Peter down.

So, Tony grabs a chair to sit next to the kid, takes a few breaths before anything.

“Alright, kid, give me your hand.”

“O-Okay? What are you…”

Tony carefully holds the boy’s pale, trembling and sweaty hand.

“Do you feel my hand?” The man asks.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Focus on it, then.”

“Y-You… You’re tense, Mr. Stark. I-Is it because of-?”

“Don’t worry, kiddo. I’m gonna be fine. So are you, I promise. Let’s do this together, okay? We’re a team.”

“Okay,” Peter swallows.

Shyly, he squeezes Tony’s hand (perhaps mindful of his super strength). Tony is rubbing Peter’s with his thumb.

“Try to focus on me, kid. I’m right here. You’re safe,” the hero reassures him, repeating it a few times like a mantra.

“… Your hand is warm…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s nice…”

“Yeah, okay. Focus on that, then.”

Pause.

“Mr. Stark?”

“Hm?”

“How are you so soft?”

Tony snorts. “Am I?”

“Yeah… You’re always looking out for me… When you don’t have to…”

“Well, you’re a good kid. Everyone here loves you.”

“Really?” Peter sounds doubtful and it breaks Tony’s heart. “Y-You’re not just… saying that to be nice, right?”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“… I dunno.”

Tony’s smile drops a little, but he doesn’t let go of Peter’s hand.

The kid is contemplative, no longer holding on so tightly.

“Is this helping?” Tony wonders.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“I… I don’t think so.”

“Good. Great.”

Peter frowns. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. said it was… an anxiety attack, then?”

“Yes.”

“Weird, I never felt this kind of pain before…”

“But you have had anxiety attacks before?”

“Yeah, but... I got them handled, Mr. Stark.”

Tony sighs, not wanting to argue with the boy. He’s not angry, not at all. He’s just heartbroken to learn this.

“… I’m sorry I scared you, Mr. Stark.”

“What? No, you don’t have to apologize.”

“I freaked you out when this wasn’t even that big of a deal—”

“No, don’t say that. You were scared, rightfully so. Anxiety attacks are scary. It’s always encouraging to seek help when you feel like this. Besides, they’re not something we can control.”

Peter still looks guilty, but at the same time he looks for reassurance.

“Mr. Stark?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Of course.”

Peter sits on his own, all too ready for that hug. Tony too. The latter rocks the former side to side slightly, rubbing his back.

“You don’t have to be ashamed or afraid to come to me, okay?” Tony tells him.

“Okay, Mr. Stark.”

“You’re my kid, I care about you. A lot.” I love you. I love you.

“… Me too, Mr. Stark.”

Tony smiles, squeezing him a bit before letting go.

“Let’s get you to the couch. I’ll also get you some water.”

“Y-Yeah, that sounds good.”

Peter, likely drained from the episode, lays his head against Tony as they leave Med Bay, pretty much snuggling against him.

The man won’t say it, since it pains him to see Peter in such state… but darn, is he adorable.

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 36

SO sorry this took so long, finally starting to get back into the swing of things! Hopefully more soon!! ISAT and Two Hats spoilers below!

"I'm sorry Eclipse, but I'd much prefer to have this conversation with Stardust alone." [You explain while trying to keep a hold of yourself. Your mind racing with terrible theories as to what could be happening.]

"No. No way. I need to know what happened too, No way I'm letting a repeat of last time happen!" [You wince as their assumption stabs you like that jagged rock. You clench your fists before Stardust speaks up.]

"N-No! It's not like that! I promise! W-We were riding in the cart together and something broke, we tumbled out and... W-Well I don't really know what happened after that exactly..." [Eclipse's expression falters some, turning from defensive to guilty.]

"S-Sorry, I... last time Sif was like this was..."

"It's fine, I understand... if you could please just give us a moment alone." [You ask as you try to keep your composure still. He agrees before hugging Stardust tight.] "They're more than welcome to tell you anything afterwards." [You try to reassure him before you and Stardust take your leave, finding a secluded spot near camp on that very early morning.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"So..." [You awkwardly begin after you both sat in silence for a while.] "Do you want to hear what happened, or do you want to tell me why you were freaking out?" [They hug themself under his cloak lightly, still looking quite rattled.]

"I... I don't fully understand what happened, but... I think I... died?... like actually died? Not just like when I loop, but like... like if I didn't..." [He explains while looking down, though once his gaze returns to meet you, he blinks a couple times from your expression.] "What?... What happened?" [You take a deep breath in, and slowly sigh it out.]

"... You died... We both did, but... you died first... and..."

"And we didn't loop... until you did?" [He fills in the blank as you struggle to speak, and you nod lightly in response.] "... but... but why wouldn't we loop?... Why did you-?"

"I don't know! I don't know why you didn't loop and I did! And the more I try to think about why that might be, the worse the answer gets!!" [You shout as you can't hold it in any more.] "What if my wish changed that?! What if I stole your life?! What if it was always me looping?! I-I-!" [You start to hyperventilate, your heart racing with a crazed expression painted over your face.]

SLAP

[You... blink a couple times, feeling one half of your face stinging before looking back down to Stardust, who was recoiled in shock at what they just did.]

"S-Sorry! You were freaking out and that worked on me when I got into spirals like that so... uhhh... you okay?" [You still need a second to recover from that, but give a light nod.]

"I... I think so, yes... thank you."

"Heh, don't thank me, yet another trick from Nille~... Really though, we'll figure this out, okay? No need to jump to the worst possible conclusion so quickly. And yes, before you say it, I know that's rich coming from me." [He jokes while sticking his tongue out a bit. You can't help but chuckle a little in response.]

"Right... You're right... we'll figure all of this out eventually..." [You take a deep breath to center yourself once more, then realizing something.] "You never finished explaining what happened... before we looped..." [His happier expression fell yet again, a more worried one starting to paint over his face.]

"Well... I saw it... I saw home... I started to remember everything, it's gone now but... it was there... it was all there..." [You stare in disbelief. The Island?... They had a way home, and this was their reaction?...]

"Why do you sound so upset about that?"

"Because I don't want that! Not like this at least! I don't want home if it means I have to lose everything again..."

"It's not like we aren't used to it at this point..."

"... I wasn't gonna be the one to say it... We should probably head back now, we still gotta stop that cart and all." [He tries changing the subject, You give a sigh and nod, leaning against the tree you sat beside.]

"You go on, I still need a moment."

"You sure?... I don't know if stewing in your own thoughts is gonna help much..." [You smirk a little as a thought comes to mind.]

"Was I this annoying as your guide?"

"Hah! Oh always~! At least I get to return the favor now~." [He teases, sticking his tongue out. You give a playful defeat sigh and get back to your feet.]

"Fine, fine, you're right. Lets go."

[confessionseddie]

2024 💖

tagged by @butchdiaz and @saryasy and @livingincolorsagain for a 2024 fic roundup (thank you!!) but since i didn't publish all that much fic i'll include some gifsets too just because i'm proud of them :) @cinematicnomad also tagged me in a 2024 in gifs roundup so i thought i'd combine the two 💕 bit late but hey.

AUGUST

most popular: buddie in 6x01 favorite: gayddie in season 6b my first proper gifset for 911 before i was even really in the fandom :) i still had 911 blacklisted while i was watching so i wasn't spoiled for anything, and watching eddie in s6b in particular felt like.... well, it made me want to actually make a gifset after the hobby had been soured for me for a while. also i think many now beloved mutuals found me through this post so 🫶🏻 thank you eddie

SEPTEMBER

most popular: eddie in 4x06 favorite: buck + it lingers for your whole life :)

OCTOBER

most popular: buck in 8x03 favorite: parameddie in season 8a honarary mention: eddie's hands in 8x04

FIC

kerosene (6.5k words, E) dear to my heart kerosene, which was as much a love letter to buck as it was a little bit of selfish catharsis-- i think i'll never write anything as good as this again and i'm completely fine with that.

NOVEMBER

i'm pretty sure this month rendered me temporarily insane. luckily i wasn't alone in that.

most popular: good cologne / hence the button down favorites: gossip eddie the sheer joy i felt making this and it only took me like two hours. i was genuinely smiling grinning chuckling kicking my feet the entire time. whimsy eddie forever and: bobbyeddie something i wouldn't really have thought to make myself but my dearest kasia suggested it and i thought. why the hell not. this gifset is probably the one that took the most effort out of anything i made last year but it was also the most gratifying in the end :) and the response i got upon posting was SO lovely i felt my heart warm for weeks after :')

FIC

groom (548 words, G) a drabble from a fic that will never see the light of day, probably. haha but i think i got all their voices right and it felt like an actual scene from the show which i was proud of considering i often struggle with dialogue. DIAZ (3k words, E) my most kudosed fic ever :) i reread this one myself all the time because it feels so cozy. i love when the words just pour out of me and buddie sort of write themselves. freaks 4 monogamy buddie my beloved risky (ryliver, 3.4k words, E) yeah. 🏇 did not expect anyone to even read this honestly lmao, considering i posted it anonymously. half writing challenge half blacked-out-watching-rg-dance-in-his-underwear kinda situation pulmonary (4.5k words, M) while this is not polished to perfection i still managed to write what i wanted to write :) i got some of the loveliest comments i've ever received on any of my writing here, too, so it was all worth it

DECEMBER

most popular: brat taming - a guide by eddie diaz favorite: the above forever and ever :) best thing i've ever posted.

some sap-- said it before, will say it again, this is the most fun i've had in fandom in years and years. i love coming here and posting my silly lil gifs and words, and i appreciate reading every single tag or comment or message anyone ever sends me or leaves under my stuff so thank you!! MWAH. 💋💋

[kissorkill16]

Babysitting: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Mr. Peterson is babysitting Nicky.

(P.S., asks sent from @meteoroestelar25 and @ghostly-writers !)

Nicky was laying on his bed, not feeling so energetic like normal. Then he heard his mother call out to him.

"Nicky, can you come here? There's something we need to talk to you about."

He slowly got up and stumbled towards his door, opening it and trying not to fall over as he made his way to the living room.

He was absolutely not ready for who he saw sitting with his parents in the living room.

Mr. Peterson, his neighbor from across the street.

"Why is he here?", he asked, pointing to the man.

"Well, he offered to watch over you while we go on another work trip.", said his father.

Nicky so badly hoped his parents were joking. They would never leave him alone with this weirdo,...right?

"Honey, it's only for a few hours.", said his mother.

"That's not the problem, Mom.", said Nicky. "You guys always leave me alone whenever you go out for work, and I do just fine by myself. What's changed?"

"That maybe we should get someone to check up on you every now and then so you're not completely alone."

Nicky rolled his eyes, but didn't argue any further. His parents often left him home alone whenever they left for work, and it helped him gain a lot of independence. Sure, it didn't mean he didn't get lonely when his parents left him alone, and he knew they could always ask one of the neighbors to check up on him every now and then...

He just didn't want it to be this neighbor.

But his parents had already made up his mind.

The next day, he woke up really early to say goodbye to his parents, to give them hugs and kisses before they left.

He just hoped that maybe Mr. Peterson would cancel or something, or maybe his parents wouldn't have to leave after all.

But luck wasn't on his side today.

Mr. Peterson was already on the front porch before they were out the door.

Soon, they waved Nicky goodbye one last time before they drove off, leaving Nicky alone with his neighbor.

Mr. Peterson guided Nicky back inside the house and closed the door behind him.

"I'm just going to stay in my room until you're gone.", said Nicky. He turned on his heel and went upstairs.

"You can sulk all you want, Nicky. But I'm here whether you like it or not."

That just made Nicky walk faster to his room. As soon as he made it, he slammed the door and flopped down on his bed.

"This. Is. Bullshit."

Nicky decided to just stay in his room until his parents came home. At least that way, he didn't have to worry about Mr. Peterson telling his parents about any trouble he caused while he was under the man's care.

Once in a while, he had to leave his room to go to the bathroom. Once, when he did, he peeked down the stairs and saw Mr. Peterson sitting on the couch and watching TV.

Eventually, he thought maybe that was enough time spent in his room. He went downstairs and walked towards the front door.

"I'm going out.", he said. In an instant, Mr. Peterson put a hand on Nicky's shoulder, preventing him from leaving.

"Where to?", asked Mr. Peterson.

"None of your business."

Mr. Peterson crossed his arms and looked down at Nicky with eyes that could burn a hole through his skull.

"I'm just going on a walk.", said Nicky.

"Oh, how lovely."

He went back to the living room, and Nicky thought he may be going back to watch TV, but then he was being pulled back to the living room, and something was being forced on his back.

Nicky felt nothing but embarrassment as a freaking child leash was attached to him, but Mr. Peterson didn't seem to care.

"When I said I wanted to go on a walk, I meant by myself.", he said. "And even if I did want you to come with me, this shouldn't be allowed!"

"This is only so you don't wander off.", said Mr. Peterson. "Your parents tell me you have a tendency to wander."

"In my sleep, asshole!"

Mr. Peterson gave Nicky a hard tap on his head. "Language, young man."

Nicky so badly wanted to just turn around and punch this man, but that wouldn't do him any good.

When they got home, Nicky went back to his room, and didn't come out for the rest of the afternoon.

After a while, he heard a knock on the door. He knew who it was, but he didn't want to answer. Another knock on the door, and Nicky still didn't answer.

Then the door opened.

"Nicky, get up. It's time for dinner.", said Mr. Peterson.

"I'm not hungry.", Nicky said. "And I especially don't want to eat in the same room as you."

"Nicholas, you're being dramatic -"

Nicky threw his pillow at the man, "Go away!"

He threw himself back on his bed, and then he felt hands wrap around his ankles. Nicky grabbed onto his bed post, trying to keep a firm hold as Mr. Peterson tried to pull him off of his bed.

"Let go of me!"

"Let go of your bed!"

"No! Let go of me you asshole!"

About a half hour later, Nicky sat at the dinner table, both of his ankles taped to the legs of his chair. Mr. Peterson sat across from him, watching him as he ate the food he made for him.

"Do you like it?", he asked.

"Leave me alone.", said Nicky.

"Well excuse me for just asking you a question."

Now Nicky felt kind of bad. This whole time, Mr. Peterson respected his decisions, apart from the child leash, he was actually a pretty good babysitter.

"It's alright.", he said, "The food is alright."

"Thank you, Nicky."

After dinner, Nicky went back to his room. But he didn't go to his bed, he just sat at his desk and tried to put together a dismantled CB radio.

He didn't know how much time has passed, but he saw the sun get lower and lower as he looked out of his window. Then Mr. Peterson knocked on his door again, and then he came in.

"What do you want?", asked Nicky, not turning around to look at him.

"Bedtime."

Now Nicky did turn around to look at him. "What did you say?", he asked.

"It's bedtime.", Mr. Peterson said again, "I'll leave the room while you change into your pajamas, but in a few minutes, I want you to brush your teeth."

Nicky put down his tools, "Are you serious right now?", he rhetorically asked. "I'm not going to bed yet. I want to finish this."

Mr. Peterson went to the boy and tugged on his shoulder, "Nicholas, it's time for bed."

"I said no!"

The man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are we seriously about to do this again?", he asked, sounding tired and frustrated. "It's bedtime. So get changed and brush your teeth."

Nicky just ignored him.

"Brat."

He heard footsteps leave his room and the door closed behind him.

When Mr. Peterson left the room, Nicky couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Mr. Peterson didn't even fight with him on this, he just gave up and left.

He didn't know why, but he felt like maybe he was being too difficult with Mr. Peterson.

So he put his tools away and got changed into his pajamas, then he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He went back to his room and laid down on his bed, then he saw Mr. Peterson come in again.

"Ha. What made you change your mind?", he asked.

Nicky shrugged. "I guess I was being a little too hard on you.", he said. "I'm sorry."

Mr. Peterson smiled and went over to Nicky, patting his head. "It's alright, Nicky.", he said.

"And...uh..."

"Hm?"

"...Can you stay here with me until I fall asleep?"

It was a weird request, and Nicky immediately wished he could take it back. But the strangest thing was that Mr. Peterson actually agreed. He sat down beside him, and Nicky felt his eyes close after a while.

Mr. Peterson smiled as Nicky peacefully slept. Before he left that night, he leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Goodnight, dear. Sweet dreams."

[zalder]

Doing the right thing was always harder than doing the easy thing. That was why so many people so many people struggled with it. It was a weakness that even Zarah didn’t know that she was immune from. At the end of end of the day, she was human and even she could have impulses that were less than generous from time to time. “It’s easy to say what you would do when you’re not in the situation to have that choice,” she could admit. “I like to think that I could resist the power and do the right thing. Intellectually, it’s what I’d want to do but then there is this other side of me – a darker side of me that would literally make the worst choices.” That was where she hoped that there would be people in her life who would bring her to her senses and encourage her better angels to win. “What is meant to happen is supposed to happen and maybe it still would but if you could do something to interrupt someone’s worst day, wouldn’t any sane person give it a go?” After all it was all theory based on fictional technology and so none of it really mattered at the end of the day.

Zarah was very much an action sort of person. She could plan when it was necessary, knew how to put things together in a cohesive way. In her day to day, she simply took action when an idea came to her. She didn’t allow herself to get too bogged down with worrying about the aftermath – especially when it came to things that there wasn’t any real chance of long term consequences. It probably helped that in general she wasn’t afraid to do thing on her own. It was great when she could pull someone else in but if they didn’t she wasn’t going to let that stop her if she felt strongly enough about it. That didn’t mean, she believed in inviting herself in on things, even with people she generally thought liked her. “Do random roadside attractions have employees?” she couldn’t help but ask. She assumed if there was a museum or a whole town built around the landmark it seemed likely but if it was more like a random art exhibit on the side of the road it was probably less likely. “It would be pretty disappointing if you ended up somewhere alone and no one to take the photos but exceptionally long arms work as good as a selfie stick.” Honestly, the trips without pictures could be just as much fun if it meant getting to fully immerse in the experience without technology getting in the way. “The savings book idea would fail me. I’d end up borrowing from it every time someone invites me out. I’m much better taking it to a saving account I have to pretty much leave alone.”

There were pros and cons of not immediately heading to college after high school. It had taken her some time to really make that decision to get back into it. She’d never really had that dorm experience and a lot of the people in her classes were younger, not that she was exactly old but she had a few more years of life experience in comparison to some of them. She felt like having her own place, having a full time job and trying to balance the classes at night as an adult was easier than it would have been if she’d pursued it when she was eighteen or nineteen in comparison now. That didn’t mean it didn’t have its complications. For now, she was content to have a bit of a break before the next semester really kicked in. “I’m sure one of them will step up,” she said with a nod. They seemed nice enough and if they didn’t step up, surely someone that he worked with would be willing to help for a good cause. There wasn’t any cause as good as a road trip. “If they don’t, we’ll figure it out. I’m pretty good at rolling with the punches.” She allowed herself another sup of her drink. “Hopefully, he’s not home freaking out about fireworks. Marmalade hates them. I had to dose him a bit before I left the apartment.”

elias smiles, nodding a bit, “you’re not wrong there. it would be so tempting to use that power to visit old memories, or create new ones with your vision versus how they are intended to be created, but the right thing to do would be to use it for some actual good in the world. to make some difference that will affect the lives of millions in a positive way.” he wondered about the possibilities, what he would do. mostly he wondered if he would have the strength to use that power for actual good and not selfish reasons like the ones he stated. he would like to think he would use it for good, but there was no way for him to truly know. “change wouldn’t be too bad in the world. i know they say that people are supposed to die without interruption, but does the same go for blessing the less fortunate? i guess it would, huh?” he tried not to over think it because it’s not like they really had a time turner, tardis, or delorean of any sort of way to go back to the past. but still one did have to wonder.

most of the time when elias was planning future plans, unless they were revolving around someone’s birthday party or something else important, chances were eli was simply just planning. he had wanted to do this type of road trip for some time but had never had anyone who seemed interested in it, and he felt bad asking people to join him. but he was starting to feel like life was passing him by, everyone else seemed to be forming the memories he wished to form too, and he was tired of sitting on the sidelines. at least, in terms of traveling. “i assume they do too. in my head i just picture a very excited employee with a camera hanging around their neck just ready to snap the first picture they can. blinding you with a flash before you even get to step one foot in the actual place. if not, i guess i should invest in a good selfie stick. even if i have a good road trip partner i would feel bad making them my personal photographer, and i would them in the pictures too.” then he could create a nice scrap book of memories, the idea made him smile a bit more. “i will also invest in one of those savings books, you know? the kind that like start at a dollar or something and keep adding on until a certain amount? apparently it’s actually a very helpful tool, if you’re responsible enough. we can definitely make it happen.”

“oh, i bet.” even though he has been out of college for some time he can still remember the mountain of homework and reading he had to do during the semester. and during finals week or midterms? forget about it. he would be buried in a sea of books just reading things ranging from how to properly help a cow give birth all the way to assisting with a delicate surgery. by the end of it all, it was a miracle anything stuck. his smile softens when she says she’s glad for his support, it made him feel good to know he could support the dreams of his friends in one way or another. he grins at her night driving comment, playfully replying, “whaaat. no, of course not.” now summer 2025 had officially gotten exciting and his mind buzzed with all the places they could visit. “i’ll have to check in with my roommates to see if they would mind taking care of mochi while we go off on our adventures. i don’t think mochi would be up for any alien body snatching either, though i have not yet had this type of conversation with him. maybe i should do that tonight and give him the option.” he looks over to her, “just in case he gives me the meow of approval, how do you feel about traveling with a cat? he’s mostly calm, but he does get randomly affectionate and suddenly needs all the head scratches in the world.”

[paleode-ology]

god I need school to be over I hate it here literally growing so concerned for my health

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.

[simplydnp]

Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

[evangelistofmurder]

Paranoia is getting worse

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[phagodyke]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[figuerockfaeth]

I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW