#but it just zooped right open!

[caterjunes]

went to a garage sale and bought a yankee screwdriver for ONE DOLLAR holy shit. i've wanted one of these for literally years but not enough to justify spending $30-60 on one!

[chaosheadspace]

38) …because they’re running out of time.

Or 48) …out of habit.

If these haven't been asked yet? 🖤🖤🖤

This might not be what you've expected, but the combinations of prompts instantly plopped a library boys scene into my mind, so here you go.

Hob sits at the breakfast table in boxers and a t-shirt over a steaming cup of tea, reading the newspaper on the tablet. It's early Sunday morning, and with Orpheus at Calliope’s and Murphy still asleep, Hob shamelessly soaks up the peace and quiet of half past six. Murphy will get up in half an hour, he and his birding friends have planned a trip to the Walthamstow Wetlands, so Hob will have most of the day to himself. It's not that he's not getting enough alone time, rather that Hob loves the kind of quiet that early mornings bring; when the world seems less real and at the same time more true than it does other times.

The sun paints the shadows of the herbs they keep on the windowsill over the floor, a linocut of warm yellow and grey leaves and stalks and blades. Although the stalks in question are a bit droopy, Hob supposes. He lazily tasks himself to water them. Later. He's not really reading the paper, either, he's just existing, without hurry, and the idea of there being a paper to read is comforting, just like the warmth of the mug in his hands. Hob just doesn't want the actual reading of actual news disturbing him right now.

Into the middle of his peace echoes a faint, muffled thump and some indeterminate cursing, and Hob smiles. The doors of the bedroom and bathroom and bedroom again shut and open in rapid succession, underlined with the shuffle of clothes and the thumping of sleep-clumsy feet.

Then Murphy practically flies through the kitchen door, rummaging around the cupboards, finding his water bottle, filling it at the sink.

Hob leans back in his chair, watching him with a smile. “Good morning,” he greets Murphy, who still hasn't acknowledged him.

“No time,” Murphy says, “I am late, terribly late, Jessamy texted me that she has heard a bittern as she was observing the grey herons, I cannot miss—”

“Herons?” Hob asks. “Aren't those the ones who go ‘zoop’? You know, with the neck?” He knows that Murphy knows what he means. Hob shows him every bird video he finds while perusing the depths of the Internet, sometimes to his delight, sometimes to his exasperation.

Murphy shuts off the water. “No,” he says, “grey herons do not go zoop.” Definitely exasperation this time. “The bird you saw in the video was a green heron, which is very rare around here.” Murphy caps his bottle and swans back out of the kitchen. “I will see you tonight,” he shouts, reaching for his backpack on the coat rack.

“Have fun!” Hob shouts back.

Bang goes the front door, then a shuffle of hasty steps down the three stairs in front of it and then—

The sound of keys in the lock, the front door opening again, and then Murphy comes back into the kitchen, determinedly walking ‘round the table towards Hob.

“I forgot,” Murphy says, using two of his fingers to gently tip Hob's chin up and then kissing him, soft and earnest. Before Hob can properly kiss him back he's already withdrawn, placing another kiss on Hob's forehead.

“Bitterns also go zoop.” Murphy flashes Hob a grin. “In fact, bitterns are also herons.” And with another quick peck to Hob's nose, he's gone again.

Hob smiles and takes a sip of his tea, pulling the tablet closer again to look up videos of bitterns.

Video of Green heron going zoop

Video of a bittern (with call!)

Send me a kissy prompt or read the other ones here

[noodyl-blasstal]

number 9 or 19 for the prompt list for taakitz if you're feeling inspired? :)

Thank you so much for this prompt which is from this list (I’m still open to requests.) Sorry the reply itself is un-prompt (I spiralled), but hopefully you'll forgive me!

Read below or on Ao3.

--

Man, that’s going to stain…How’s it going?/ Well, haha, (doesn’t answer)

–

Kavitz screws all his courage to his sticking point and opens his eyes. He looks at the cake. He looks at his hands. He looks at the kitchen counter. They’re all still the same; bright red, unpleasantly sticky, and mocking him. The ‘icing’ could have at least had the decency to dry slightly in the air by now, but no, he’s made some kind of sugar based slime that is intent on eating everything - especially Taako’s worktops. 

Taako’s worktops… Taako definitely absolutely loves these worktops more than Kravitz. Kravitz knows this, everyone knows this, so why on earth had he decided to try his hand at baking at Taako’s house instead of his own? Maybe it was because he spent more of his non-death crime battling time here than anywhere else, he hadn’t spent a non-work night on the Astral Plane since well… hmm… and all his stuff was here, so it made sense, perfect sense. Or it would, if he hadn’t just committed a crime against baking, nature, and kitchens in general, there was no way Taako wasn’t going to notice.

He’s stuck, is the problem. He can’t operate his phone with his sugary murder hands even though it will absolutely be worth Sloane laughing at him if she can save him from this. Sadly it’s not like he can just go over there… although, no, actually, it’s exactly like he can just go over there! Kravitz reaches out his hand, and only winces slightly at the wet sound his scythe makes as it zoops into it. It’s fine. It’ll clean, and if not he can just tell people it’s blood and they’ll think he’s extra fearsome probably definitely maybe.

He cuts a very careful rift, if he can place it just right then… Kravitz leans his face gingerly into the rift and uses his nose to press the doorbell. He learned very quickly after Sloane and Hurley started dating that it was important to rift outside and wait for someone to answer the door. Sloane tugs said door open as he’s reaching his nose out to press the bell for a second time.

“Kravitz? What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?” She folds her arms and gives him a look which means he’s definitely never going to hear the end of this.

“I need some help.”

Sloane raises her eyebrows.

“It’s a cake problem.”

“You didn’t!?”

“I…”

“Kravitz! After last time? And the time before… and…”

“I thought it might be different.”

“Because?”

“Taako’s good at baking.”

“And you figured cake osmosis was a thing?” Sloane’s lack of sympathy would be hurtful if she wasn’t entirely correct.

“On reflection, it wasn’t the best idea I’ve had in my life.” An understatement, but he doesn’t have time to properly catalogue this error right now. It can haunt him when he’s lying awake at 3am for the rest of his life instead.

“How bad is it?”

“It’s not sentient.” He’s remaining optimistic.

“Yet…” She mutters.

“I gave it a bit and it seems fine.”

“Uh huh.”

“I know that’s what I said last time, but I really think it’s okay.”

“If I had a gold piece for every time…” Sloane begins.

“Please just help.” Kravitz must sound pathetic enough because Sloane just rolls her eyes, and smiles fondly.

“Okay, are you coming to me or am I coming to you?”

Kravitz holds up his non-scythed hand.

“I’m coming to you,okay. Gimme a minute and a me-sized rift?”

“Thank you.” Kravitz nods and splices.

–

There’s a shuffling noise and Sloane opens the door again.

“Why do you even have a hazmat suit?” Kravitz tries not to feel offended, he doesn’t succeed.

“It’s not a hazmat, that would be overkill, it’s a tyvek.”

“And you have it because?”

“Do you wanna know?” The distinct edge to her question tells him he definitely doesn’t.

“Is it for work?”

“Yes.”

“The flower shop job?”

“Nope, and you said you don’t wanna know anything that you could be compelled to give up in a court of law so…”

“So I won’t ask any further questions and should instead be grateful that you’re coming to help save me and Taako’s worktops?”

“You got it on Taako’s worktops? Kravitz! I’m going to miss you.”

“I don’t know if he can kill me.”

“Here lies Kravitz…” Says Sloane as she steps through the rift. “... The bestest friend a gal could ask for. I’ll miss his ability to transport me without paying bus fare most of all.”

“Thanks Sloane, you always know how to make me feel better.” Kravitz says dryly.

“So you sure fucked this up, yeah?” Sloane looks around at the general devastation.

“The cake might be nice?” Kravitz points with a sticky hand.

“Mmhmm.” Says Sloane like she wants to believe him but can’t.

“But… it’s just… yeah…” He trails off.

“Have you tried anything yet?” 

“Er…”

“Water?”

“I can’t touch the tap.” Kravitz brandishes his free-hand. Tries for a second time to banish his scythe, fails. Maybe he doesn’t need to mention that specific issue to Sloane yet. “It’s really sticky.”

“Right. I’ll try water first. Do you have sponges you don’t care about?”

“As opposed to the sponges I do care about?”

“Hey, Kravitz, do you remember who you live with? The man who cares about nothing more than his kitchen and nearly broke up with you when you scrubbed the cast iron? You think he doesn’t have opinions about your sponges?”

She has a point. “There’s some in the garage.” He starts to move towards the door.

“No!” Sloane grabs the back of his suit and pulls. “You stay here, we need to keep the crime scene secured. By which I mean you specifically. Don’t move.

It’s a good point. Kravitz is going to stay so still. “I can’t quite remember where they…”

Sloane’s gone before he can finish and back too quickly for him to think about in depth. There’s definitely no reason for that which relates to her ability to case a joint.

“I’m going to try cold water first in case hot water makes it harden… or, you know, go on fire.” 

“That was one time!” 

“One time too many, Kravitz. One time too many.”

He opens his mouth and shuts it firmly again. The ‘gift to science’ defence doesn’t really work when he still doesn’t know how he did it.

Sloane dabs gingerly at the very edge of the worktop spatter. They both lean away in anticipation. Nothing happens. “No explosions is a good start.” She  says cheerfully, as she walks back to the sink. “I’ll test hot now.” She repeats the leaning, runs the hot tap directly onto the red spot on the sponge.

“Is it helping?”

“Nope.”

“Soap?”

She tries. “Nope.”

“How hard do you think it is to replace an entire kitchen and also me in… er…” Kravitz glances at the clock. “2 hours?”

“If anyone can do it’s Magnus. Well… maybe not you. You could ring your Mum?”

“She’s not my Mum.”

“Then why did I have to get my parents to call her before I was allowed to come play and why did I have to call her Mrs The Raven Queen when I came to visit?”

“That’s manners.”

“So anyway, call your Mum.”

“I’m not calling my Mum… I mean. Fuck. Sloane! Stop laughing! Can you help me ring Magnus?”

“Why can’t you…” Kravitz brandishes his hand again. “Ah. Fine. Where’s your phone?”

Kravitz swings a hip towards her.

“Nope.”

“Sloane!”

She rolls her eyes. Hard. “It’s a good job I love you, you know that?”

“Like I haven’t earned this.”

“Hey, I’ve never…”

“Don’t make me bring up The Plantcident.” Kravitz side eyes her as she reaches for his phone.

“Urgh, you’ll never let me forget that, will you? I maintain it could have happened to anyone.”

“But instead it happened to you and I had to talk the bank manager down so he didn’t press charges.”

“It’s a good thing you’re so clean cut and know all the fancy words. Now, sssh... “Sloane holds his phone up to his ear.” … it’s ringing.” 

“Wait, how did you know my code?”

Sloane doesn’t answer, she just smiles unnervingly instead. Kravitz worries sometimes about how much and how little he knows her all at once.

Magnus picks up before Kravitz can ask any more ill-advised questions (because he definitely doesn’t want to know the answers to them.)

“Hello Magnus, I just had a quick…. Yes? Oh… yes… No of course I think he’s a very clever boy… No, it’s okay, you don’t have to put me on to hi… Hello Johann. Magnus says you did a very good job today. Well done… Magnus? … Magnus?... Johann, can you get Magnus?... …. … MAGNUS?” Sloane winces. Kravitz mouths a quick sorry her way. “Great! Magnus, I… No, don’t hang up, I rang because I had a question, you know the kitchen worktops? … Mmmhm, yeah, they’re incredible, how long did they take you to make?... Oh? A week? Wow… And that was quick?” Kravitz widens his eyes at Sloane, her face doesn’t give anything away. “... and if it was a rush order? Oh… it was? Wow. Yeah. Lots of intricate bits…. Mmm… yes, you’re right, it is a funny shape in here. Good point… okay, so if someone had say, for example, stained them, how would one go about getting that stain out?... No it’s not a sex thing!... Magnus!... Do you really want to know the answer to that?... I didn’t think so… Look, it’s a hypothetical question which I  need the answer to please?... Yes, haha, you’re right it is a good thing it’s hypothetical, Taako would be really upset yes, but if you could just tell me… you know, for the thought exercise, yes, right… It would depend on the stain? So if something was sticky and had food dye?... Magnus please, you have to focus… Okay… Yep… Water… nail polish remover… baking powder and vinegar… toothpaste… yes we’ll try that… yes of course hypothetically… no, please don’t tell him… Because nothing has happened. Everything’s fine. Sloane can tell you.” 

Kravitz gives Sloane a pleading look and she retracts the phone to speak to Magnus herself. “Hey Magnus, yep, all fine here… Ha, yeah, just playing a fun hypothetical game, you know how we do that… give my love to Julia and Johann... Yeah, thanks from both of us… Bye!”

“So water didn’t work, but we can try the nail polish remover and the toothpaste, and I’m fairly sure Taako has the baking powder and vinegar.

“Be right back.” Sloane’s gone before Kravitz can tell her where anything is.

He tries to un-summon his scythe again while he waits. Nothing happens. He tries again, double hard, it tries to leave, there’s a second where it might, but no. Stuck fast. The door creaks open slowly before he can try a third time.

“I didn’t even know it was possible to get magic stuck to you.” He sighs.

Sloane doesn’t reply.

“Sloane?”

There’s a skittering noise. No. Oh fuck no.

“SLOANE!” Kravitz yells, hoping she’ll hear him before whichever one of them it is can get themselves stuck too.

“Pss pss pss pss pss.” He keeps his arms well out of reach, and moves slowly towards the door.

It’s Tiny Taco, of course it’s Tiny Taco. 

“Hello there, why don’t you go back out into the hall? You can play with your toys and your friends. It’ll be so nice out there in the rest of the house, in literally any room but this room.” 

Tiny Taco struts confidently forward and rubs his head fondly against Kravitz’s legs. This is the most affection he has ever shown him. Kravitz fights the impulse to lean into it, it’s all part of the ploy. Maybe if he slowly shuffles towards the door?

“You yelled?” Sloane asks from the doorway?

Kravitz turns to look at her. It’s all the distraction Tiny Taco needs and he makes a break for it.

“No no no no no no no!” Kravitz tries to block him with his body, Taco dodges. “Sloane can you…?”

She tries, she does. She moves fast. It’s not fast enough.

Kravitz reaches out and grabs him.

“Kravitz!” Sloane thwacks her palm against her head. “You had one job and it was standing still.”

Taco’s already squirming in his hand, this is going to get ugly fast.

“Shout at me later. Help, please?”

Sloane sighs unnecessarily loudly. “I’m taking a photo.”

“What? Sloane, no.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

Kravitz knows better than to try and bargain with her. “Fine.”

“Smile!” 

Kravitz is not going to smile.

“Smile or I’m not helping.”

Kravitz smiles.

“Okay, what goes best with cat? Toothpaste?”

Taco wriggles again and digs his claws sharply into Kravitz’s arm.

“Ouch! Anything, just try.”

Sloane shrugs and brandishes the Aquafresh. “Brace yourself.”

It works, eventually. Kravitz has fresh scratches, but Taco has been pasted (and slightly snipped) clean and returned to the ‘anywhere but the kitchen’ exclusionary zone with enough Dreamies to buy his silence.

“One down. Shall we try it on the worktop or your hands first?” 

“The worktop’s more important.”

“Oh wait, your phone’s going.”

“Who is it?”

Sloane checks. “Taako. There’s a few missed calls too.”

Kravitz smiles as endearingly as he can manage. Surely Sloane wouldn’t stand in the way of speaking to his boyfriend, not after how much he helped when she was worried about telling Hurley. “Would you mind?”

“Fine.” Sloane holds the phone to his ear.

“Hello Taako! It’s so nice to hear from you, love, how’s your day going? … mmhm… incredible… I hope you told him off… Maybe not the words I would have used, but as you say, it’s your school… Another award? Congratulations! Very much deserved as far as I’m concerned… How am I? Oh you know, fine… My day? Nothing much, just missing you… You can’t fireball me through a phone dearest… No, actually I don’t think you should try, if anyone can it’s you..” 

Sloane prods him hard and makes a ‘wind it up’ gesture.

“Ow… I mean… How is your afternoon looking?... Wonderful… Anyway, I should let you go. I know you’re busy… No no, honestly… I’ll see you later, I know you have so much on… Love you… Goodbye, Taako!”

“Gross.” Says Sloane loudly.

“Shut  up, you love your girlfriend.” She doesn’t have a leg to stand on as far as Kravitz is concerned.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong… I was actually thinking of… Wait, now’s super not the time. Let’s try and fix… you know, all of this?” Sloane gestures to the whole of everything.

Kravitz nods.

The layer of toothpaste doesn’t have the same effect on the counter as it did on Taco.

“Nail polish remover?” Sloane asks.

“Yes, whatever you think.” Kravitz eyes the clock warily.

It doesn’t work either, although it does remove the toothpaste effectively.

“Vinegar explosion?” Sloane sounds more excited than he’d like her to about this option.

“Did Magnus say how much to use?”

“Nope!” She says, happily, shaking powder across the worktop.

“Maybe you should start with a test patch?”

“Uh huh.” Sloane looks him dead in the eyes as she pours vinegar over it all.

The fizzing is far more dramatic than it would be on a small scale, he’ll give her that. Especially when it turns red.

It’s unfortunate that it’s still going when they hear the door open.

“Home, I’m honey!” Taako shouts from the entrance hall.

“Hi Honey, I’m Kravitz.” Yells Kravitz, automatically.

Sloane stops watching the fizzening long enough to pretend to puke. Kravitz glares at her. He can be gross in his own home. Taako’s own home. He doesn’t live here. Obviously.

“Where are you, Kraveroo? … Oh, hey there hi hello, Taco, most precious baby angel, how’re you doing this fine d… KRAVITZ!” 

“Fuck.” Say Kravitz and Sloane in tandem. 

“I can’t believe he told, we gave him so many treats!” Sloane shakes her head.

“He hates me.” Says Kravitz, mournfully. “We should never have trusted him.” 

“Kravitz? Where are you and why have you given the cat a shit haircut?” Taako’s voice is hovering somewhere between pissed off and amused and Kravitz would love to be able to tip it over into the latter category. He can’t deal with being in any more trouble right now.

He widens his eyes at Sloane, sadly she’s doing the same right back.

“I feel like we’ve gotta let it fizz? That’s what’s doing the cleaning, right?” Sloane hisses.

“Yes. That sounds logical, but how do I?” Kravitz holds his free hand up.

“You could poke your head out through the door?” 

“What?”

“He can’t see your hands if you’re just a head at the kitchen door.”

“Of course, thanks Sloane.” Kravitz makes it all the way to the door before realising his error. “Er…”

Sloane sighs heavily and dashes over to crack the door open before retreating to the counter.

“Hello my love.” Kravitz shouts, head poking into the hall and foot firmly wedged to stop the door opening any further.

Taako careens round the corner. “Why’re you in the kitchen?” His eyes narrow dangerously.

“I’m just doing something. A surprise.” 

Taako doesn’t look any less suspicious. “What’s that smell?”

“Surprise smell.” Kravitz smiles his most reassuring smile.

Apparently it’s less reassuring than he thinks because Taako disappears, and, if the “what the fuck?” From behind him is anything to go by, blinks into the kitchen.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Sloane’s hands are in the air and her head’s swivelling frantically, looking for escape.

“Cha’boy hasn’t a clue what it looks like… what the actual fuck is going on in here?”

“There may have been a slight incident.” Kravitz decides that there’s not many routes other than honesty left at this point.

“Slight?” Taako raises a single, reproachful eyebrow.

“It’s not all of the things. Just some of them.” Kravitz tries not to sound sulky, he does.

“Why’re you holding your scythe?”

“Uh…”

“Why’re you red?”

“Er…”

“Did you try to bake?”

“No.” Kravitz replies before he can remember his plan to the tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. “I mean, yes. I did bake! The baking wasn’t the bit that went wrong. Look!” Kravitz points triumphantly at the cake.

Taako’s eyes soften for the barest moment. “It’s heart shaped.”

“It’s for you!” 

“And the red stuff?”

“I had to ice it.” 

“With?”

“Icing.”

“That you made from…?”

“I’m not actually entirely sure I remember.”

“Okay. Well first things first, Krav, Kraverino, beloved… you’re a skeleton. You, my guy, are made of bones. Meat you isn’t real.”

“Meat you isn’t real!” Sloane repeats. “I forgot.”

“Oh.” Kravitz unravels himself immediately and feels his scythe release into the ether, thank goodness. Not that he didn’t love it, but it’s a pain in the arse to lug around all the time, plus the drama of the reveal is always fun. “Thank you Taako.”

“Is this why you chopped Taco?” 

“There was an incident.” Says Sloane. “But I toothpasted him out.”

“And he only bit me twice!” Kravitz adds.

“See, cha’boy said you he was coming round to you!” Taako sounds genuinely delighted. To be fair, it is an improvement.

“So that’s one down.” Sloane says. “Just… this to go.”

“Have you tried, you know, magic?”

“Er…” There’s a long pause. A very long pause.

“I rifted to Sloane.”

Taako pinches his fingers at the bridge of his nose. “So just to clarify, neither of you, including you, handsome man, literally made of magic. tried any kind of mending, purifying,…” he lowers his hand to glance at the mess again. “... banishing?”

“Well…” Sloane starts, as if there’s any way to get them out of this.

“We rang Magnus!” Says Kravitz quickly. He can’t leave it all to Sloane.

“Ah, well if you rang Magnus, notoriously magical Magnus! Of course he would have thought to suggest all of the best wizardly crafts, he’s always casting spells, punch, chop, harder punch, Magical Magnus, we all call him.”

“Can you get rid of it?I think the fizzing has stopped now.” Sloane points at the still definitely-more-red-than-it-should-be counter.

“Can Taako get rid of it? This lowly idiot wizard? I suppose I can maybe see my way to trying, but what good could cha’boy possibly do against something so fearsome as icing?” Taako waves his hands dramatically. 

The red gets redder.

“Did… have you just made it stronger?” Sloane asks in disbelief.

“I meant to do that. It was just a warm up. Natch.” Taako’s voice doesn’t waver.

Kravitz tries very hard not to feel too smug. 

“Abraca-fuck-off!”

A small chunk disappears, but the rest remains just as vibrant.

“Fuck. That was high level too. Uh. Cha’boy’s out of ideas, have you called your Bird Mom, Krav?”

“She’s not my Mu…” 

Taako gives him a hard look. “Because, cha’boy’s just saying, these worktops, they’re good worktops, and it’d be a real shame if anything were to irreversibly stain them.”

“Taako, I can’t contact the god who oversees the natural order of life and death and ask her to take some time out to come fix… this.”

Taako raises an eyebrow.

Sloane gives him a look.

Kravitz snatches his phone back from her with his now blissfully un-gunked bone hands. “Fine, but I’m not communing, I’m texting.”

“She always rings you straight back anyway.” Taako says.

“Classic Mum behaviour.” Sloane adds.

Kravitz needs to spend less time with both of them, he refuses to be bullied like this.

His phone rings. “Hello M…y queen.” Kravitz glares at them both as they snicker. “We’re experiencing some issues with an, er, substance… No, not like that… No, we wouldn’t take anything that’s bad for us or the people around us… Thank you… Do you think there’s anything you can… yes. Yes, I know… I promise, this is the last time… I thought that maybe I’d be better… not just proximity… yes, okay, yes. Proximity… Thank you… I promise I won’t… I know I did, but this time I really mean it… Thank you very much… I love-you-too-bye.”

“What did your Mum say?” They chorus wearing their most pointed smiles.

“She’s going to have a look at it.” All of the fight has gone out of him. Kravitz has accepted his fate.

The counter shakes violently. Nothing happens.

It shakes again.

Nothing.

Kravitz’s phone rings.

He doesn’t want to answer. Less than anything does he want to answer, but he cannot ignore direct summons.

“Hello… yes… No… I can’t remember… I’m sorry… I don’t think… Okay. Yes. I’ll ask him…” Kravitz turns to Taako. “How attached are you to your kitchen?”

Taako narrows his eyes. “Very.”

“How would you feel if the counters had to be banished into a secure dimension?”

Taako’s mouth forms into a tight line.

“It may also not really be a question of whether you’re happy for it to happen or not because Raven checked with Istus and there’s a strand of fate which needs to be snipped right now…”

“So what you’re saying is that cha’boy’s losing a chunk of the kitchen he spent what feels like a century planning? That his best friend in the world hand crafted for him?” Taako presses his hand to his forehead and pretends to faint.

Kravitz opens his mouth and shuts it again. Guilt gnaws at him. He wants more than anything to fix this, but he doesn’t know how.

“Shall I tell Magnus you said he was your best friend?” Sloane asks.

“Take the counter.” Taako replies immediately.

“Taako, I’m so sorry.”

Taako smiles and waves his hand. “Honestly, Taako was bored of them.”

“But…”

“Magnus hasn’t really been challenged lately. I think he needs this. We’ll do it as a favour to him.”

“Are you…?” 

“Honestly, Taako made the kitchen with himself in mind, but it’s not just cha’boy living here anymore, is it?” Taako waves his hand flippantly.

Kravitz pauses. “I… Taako.”

“Tell her to do it now.”

His tone leaves absolutely no room for disagreement, Kravitz gives the answer.

There’s a brief moment of nothing, enough time for Kravitz to chance a tentative look at Taako. He meets Kravitz’s eyes confidently, doesn’t even flinch as reality twists around them and there’s a gentle pop. Kravitz doesn’t need to check to know the counter is gone. 

Taako smiles at him.

“I’m gonna head out. Kravitz could you…?” Sloane asks.

He cuts the rift without looking at her. “Thank you for helping.”

It seals behind her.

“I’m sorry.” Kravitz says again, because he is.

“You made me a cake.” Taako says again.

“Yes.” Kravitz replies, because he did. Regardless of everything else, he did.

“Because you wanted to fuck my kitchen up?”

“No! I, look, you made the me the pastries.”

“The date ones?”

“Yes. The ones from home. You spent weeks working at it and you didn’t even have a recipe, just me trying to explain a taste I can barely remember.”

“And cha’boy nailed it.” Taako grins smugly and Kravitz loves him in all his brash confidence.

“You did. You really did.”

“So you decided I needed cake too?”

“No one ever bakes for you.” Kravitz says quietly.

“Ango did that one time.” 

“Yes, that’s true. But it’s been ages and they got set on fire, and no one else does. You deserve it. You deserve to be taken care of right back.”

“Hey, Krav. Quick question, just a teensy smidgey one. Who got the shoe organiser after cha’boy kept falling over them?”

Kravitz tilts his head, uncertain what this has to do with anything.

“Go on, don’t get shy on me, who did that?”

“Me.” Says Kravitz. He’d been sick of worrying that Taako was going to fall over and get lost in a shoe pile and need help when he wasn’t there to give it.

“And who actually puts the shoes on the shoe organiser when cha’boy forgets?”

“Me?” It’s not like he does it all the time, just now and again.

“And who got the cats those extra perches to go round the walls because I was worried they were bored?” Taako doesn’t wait for an answer. “Oh, yeah, that was you too.”

“But…”

“Bones, you care for Taako in so many different ways, so leave the baking to the professionals because so help me fantasy Jesus if you wreck any more of our house.” 

“Our house?”

“Yeah. Now shut up and tell me what your perfect kitchen looks like so I can fix it.”

[worldcatlas]

VOY: Caretaker (Part 1)

Just like its predecessor, Deep Space Nine, Voyager opens with an expository text crawl explaining the current galactic situation. We learn about the Maquis – a plucky, non-Federation rebel group fighting the Cardassian occupation – then jump right into a heated space battle!

Fire! Raise shields! And somebody turn off that damned smoke machine!

As one would expect from a ragtag group of resourceful underdogs, the Maquis wear mismatched outfits made for trouble; we’re introduced to Chakotay and B’Elanna, both sporting rolled-up sleeves and tough leather vests.

Forearms mean business.

Tuvok is here too, although we don’t get a good look at his outfit from any of the angles in this scene. Chakotay makes up for it, however, by giving us a bit of a catwalk look at his duds: the patterned shirt is lovely, and probably meant to evoke his Native American heritage.

Actually, this may be the least problematic reference to his “heritage.”

Next, we’re taken to a sunny, verdant New Zealand penal colony, where Captain Janeway is busy picking out a boy toy. Unsurprisingly, we’re working with the same Starfleet uniforms currently in use on DS9, with a coloured section on the shoulders indicating department, and a grey turtleneck with rank pips underneath.

Get used to it – Voyager won’t be receiving wardrobe updates for about the next seven years.

Janeway finds the man she’s looking for – the boyishly handsome Nick Locarno Tom Paris – and hands him a “get out of jail free” card in the form of an invitation to join her crew. Tom considers her offer, weighing the excitement of adventure against having to give up his stylish prison coverall; the garment is concrete grey, with subtle shade differences across the chest and shoulders, not unlike a Starfleet uniform. I appreciate the asymmetry of the dark grey extending down the left sleeve, but not the right. The flap closure at the front is a little bit sexy, too, and along with the rolled-up sleeves, gives a “greasemonkey” vibe we’ll come to see a lot of from Tom.

The ankle monitor makes a nice accessory, too.

Meanwhile, Voyager is docked at Deep Space Nine, and we cut to a character we all know and love: Quark! …In the process of ripping off young Harry Kim. Although Quark’s ensemble technically belongs to another show, I still have to award it “best outfit” for the episode. The matching teal hues in the pants, shirt, and jacket is a beautiful bit of coordination, and it’s obvious the costume department has had a few seasons to perfect the character design. It’s not unusual for a Ferengi to dress so lavishly, but Harry should probably take it as a warning sign that he’s about to be ripped off. 

I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Up on the ship, Janeway has a chat with her fiancé Mark, who’s sporting a handsome wool-looking jacket in a dark mustard colour. Mark only gets about six lines and thirty seconds of screen time, so his outfit has to really pull its weight here building a character: handsome but approachable, smart but unpretentious, still shops at GAP in his 50s.

Sensible. I meant sensible.

There are no new costumes for a while as we meet the ship and crew, but we do get a few nice close-ups of Janeway’s lovely, elaborate updo – a more complicated style than the “bun of steel” she’ll wear in coming episodes.

Ignore the wig glue. It’s just… space sweat.

I suspect the stylist wanted all those extra swirlies in there because, once the action begins and our crew gets roughed up a bit, Action-Tousled Janeway looks amazing.

Slay, girl.

Harry and Tom go to sickbay, which is going to be full of patients very soon, and is also on fire. It’s hard to get a good look, but Harry puts on a cool Starfleet-issue oven mitt with metallic fabric to extinguish the fire.

Was that hole always there?

The least visible costume prop of all time.

In all the commotion, the crew realizes they’ve been zooped across the galaxy – 75,000 lightyears from home. But just when you thought we’d be stuck on a spaceship with one set of clothes for the next seventy years, we’re zooped again… to a southern country farm?! It looks exactly like Earth, and what looks like a perfectly human grandma comes out with cookies and lemonade to greet Janeway and co.

Floral fabric, ivory cameo, plate of cookies… yep, that’s a grandma.

She’s not alone, and soon the farm is full of completely “normal” “humans” having a good time, dancing and playing music. It’s literally the friendliest alien welcome party in history, but the Voyager crew are spooked. Moreover, they seem confused by the folksy straw hats and denim overalls.

Highly suspicious flannel.

With one exception: Tom Paris has quickly made friends with one of the illusory farm girls, a young woman in a cute printed dress with a belt, mary janes, and bright white ankle socks.

First contact: cottagecore edition.

However, Paris’ new friend gets a bit upset when they turn down her extremely tempting offers of a “real private” root cellar, a duck pond, and deviled eggs, and suddenly the farm folk aren’t so welcoming. The crew is zooped back to the ship – mostly. Harry Kim is missing.

Get outta here! And take your synthetic fabrics with you!

Discovering a similar absence on the Maquis ship – B’Elanna is also missing – the two crews decide to work together to track down their people.

As they discuss plans, we finally get a good look at Tuvok’s Maquis disguise: he wears a cropped, open jacket made from a textured brown-green fabric, with sleeves in a lovely deep blue. The trim between the different fabrics is subtly shiny, giving the impression of leather straps. More importantly though, he wears an orange shirt underneath that appears to be stained at the collar – is that greenish hue Vulcan blood??

What happened to you in the Maquis, Tuvok?!

The episode isn’t out of costumes for us yet, though, and it’s a hard pivot from the dirty, worn-in clothes of the Maquis – as the viewpoint switches to that of our missing crewmembers, we find them in white clothing that resembles hospital gowns, albeit with an awkward strap closure that goes all the way around the back.

You know that strap has come undone and dipped in the toilet at LEAST once.

We also get our first look at the Ocampa, who at the moment are also clad in white, gauzy outfits. Unlike the “patients,” they wear strange fruit-netting-ish infinity scarves around their neck and head.

Keeps their melon safe.

The mesh fabric looks like it might be some kind of protective gear, but no, as we explore more of the compound, we see the truth: Ocampans just don’t know how to wear a scarf.

So close…

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventures 30

time to get up were heroes! cam flops outta bed! undyne slept in her armor she aint getting caught slacking again. dans is mindlessly making breakfast. suzy wakes up and thinks itll be funny to jump on undyne to wake her. elbow drop! right in the armor ouch.

undyne groggily wakes up like what? cam runs to suzy 'are you ok?!' her poor elbow lol. suzy is just on the ground in pain. claims undyne punched her in her sleep. frog is practicing the lyre neat (wonderwall!)

frog turns to dans and asks what was on the papers he stole from kyris. dans doesnt seem to hear them hes zoned out. undyne calls out to him and he snaps out of it and pulls out the papers, showing its some sort of artifact location probably. undyne says we should go get it so no one else does. suzy asks if we can keep it, but only if its not evil.

frog is excited reading about the magical creature pages in particular. cam asks if their alright but no response. cam pokes them to snap them out of it. 'this is interesting!' cam squints and tells them to be careful. suzy lets a zoned out tori know that frog is learning pog.

vani has the zoomies! suzy jumps in to wrestle! war dancing! chasing! zooming! wrestling! vani uses tori as a shield, dodging away from suzy xD

undyne casually goes through some of the papers while eating. cam says if its not evil or useless we can sell the item for armor. undyne picks up a bigfoot page lol. suzy jumps at tori trying to catch vani! tori holds her straight out, then places her by vani.

tori casts hidden step! vani jumps on the bed and knocks over cam! cam screeches and falls backwards yelling for them to be careful. vani cannot fit under a dressor and suzy just slams into it lol. cam is holding a sleepy blobbo, who is melty lol.

frog hands undyne a paper and says this might be on the map, then goes back to reading. undyne looks and it says its a wacky scroll made by a crazy lady in a cave guarded. undyne notices tori is gone and is like wtf. she asks cam where tori went. the door opens and tori comes back in! 'where the hell did you go?' tori is sus dammit. claims she has something of kyris's. (her name you bastard.)

undyne is confused why tori cared if kyris was looking for her name. cam thinks this is very wrong. suzy looks at cam and says we stole all of kyris's shit, are we giving all of it back? 'yes!' cam shes evil shhh. undyne reminds cam that the cult is evil and kills kids. cam says she was nice to them. undyne says it was a trick. dans speaks up finally "being kind is not the same as being nice."

undyne asks whats up with dans and he claims hes just tired. undyne reitirates the info and that we should go get it. when undyne mentions maybe using it to defeat steve, dans makes a face and zones back out.

meanwhile vani has grabbed a pillow and is smacking suzy with it and zooping around only to smack her again. and then they smack cam with it too. vani tiptoes toward cam but suzy tackles vani and cam!

frog finally looks up and knocks on undynes armor and asks if they can mothman. dans perks up 'my ex?' tori says she doesnt wanna see anymore of his ex's. frog is so hyped dans met mothman lol. frog demands answers and dans says maybe when their older. dans looks at tori like 'help me.' dans tries to distract frog by giving them the hat of disguise. they asks why hes distracting them. he just gets up and goes for a walk.

tori says she didnt know undyne could read. undyne says she knows sign language too and flips her off. cam is laughing hard and blobbo reforms. suzy is cackling. vani bites the hat a little and gives frog a sad face. no takebacks darn. vani tosses a pillow at frog and wants to play. vani grabs the end of the pillow and shakes!

undyne just reiterates to follow the map. tori asks if she learned how to follow directions recently. undyne is like 'wtf is your deal?' tori says undyne is bad with directions. tori says shes being a bitch rn. suzy says she didnt know undyne could read at all. 'rich coming from you suzy.' cam offers to teach suzy how lol.

undyne notices dans is gone. suzy screams out the window for dans. she hears nothing in response. she keeps screaming. vani cutely tilts his head watching suzy. undyne collects the papers and off they go to find dans. suzy goes out the window of course.

godmoss is whispering to dans to get his shit together and he just ignores them. tori follows frog out since suzy jumped out lol. suzy finds a different dwarf and bothers him lol. undyne finds him zoning out at a well. undyne tries to see what hes seeing in the well. she fucking starts shaking him lol. dans snaps out of it and tries to brush it off. dans says he'll speak if undyne talks about how weird shes been since the portal incident. (noted that undyne is literally holding dans in the air.)

dans says his family is alive and well in the other world. so totally normal. and the other him isnt a warlock. our dans has been a warlock since he was 12. and it was all hell. how much was steves fault and how much was his. how much did steve fucking plan?

undyne says her otherself was a slaughtering murderer. lots of blood. she unintentionally grips dans tighter. shes shaking. says she ran and all she saw was a slaughter. cam walks in on this oh no. 'undyne?' undyne drops dans and tries to say everything is alright. cam grabs both their hands and tugs them somewhere more private.

cam makes us sit on a bench lol and says they know we were talking about the portal stuff and we cant hide from it forever. dans pats undynes leg and says undyne wont feel better until she accepts shes not ok and what she saw was fucked up. cam also pats undynes leg and also dans hand.

undyne says theres nothing to talk about, and dans says she wouldnt be bothered by it then. shes gotta work her way through it cause its changing her and shes hurting. undyne snaps that dans and cam arent speaking. cam says dans and cam spoke about it and can tell her. dans tells undyne to quit changing the subject. if the memory makes undyne aggressive dans says she can hit him. cam agrees.

dans says if you let it sit and stew itll only get bigger until it explodes. he shows a bruise forming on his arm from her gripping him. 'what if its frog next time.' 'its not like im seeing things?!' 'you clearly are.' images her otherself caused. 'it couldve been me!' 'you dont know that.' 'i came from an orc warband.' 'i was a rich noble sold into slavery. shit happens and you cant predict it.'

cutting back to the kids. suzy runs up to tori and says she cant find dans. vani is sniffing the ground and goes in a direction, doing the pointer dog pose. frog says vani is trying to lead them. 'we should stop splitting up.'

back to undyne! shes getting worked up. 'dont you feel better yelling about it?' "NO!" the shopkeeper fucking wakes up then goes back to sleep. 'why are you so afraid of her? afraid of becoming her, doing that.' he motions to the crack she made in the wall. the other dipshits arrive!

vani makes their way inside and forces themselves into dans lap. tori asks if they walked in on something. undyne gives up and storms out. vani follows behind. frog follows and says undyne is grumpier than usual. 'maybe you should leave me alone.' frog says they care about her. 'if you cared then leave me alone.' frog says their friends and to let them care dammit. undyne ignores frog and keeps going. vani still follows her.

dans looks up at tori and asks whats her issue. 'your stealing names and shit now?' he asks what tori saw through the portal. 'just the same damn cave.' 'you lived in a cave?' cam is sent to eeby deeby! suzy leaves to go after undyne. she kicks undyne in the shin and tells her to stop being stupid. undyne whips around and tells suzy to stop being stupid and she hasnt done anything smart since they met. (OUCH) 'im not stupid your a dumb bitch!' undyne calls her a feral animal. 'fuck you i didnt choose to be raised by wolves!'

suzy comes back to tori and says undyne is being a bitch. tori asks what undyne did but suzy just shrugs and says its undyne. tori asks which way undyne went. suzy points and tori goes. frog just laying down on vani eepy. tori calls after undyne but she keeps walking. tori speedwalks lol. undyne keeps ignoring.

'can you stop for a minute?' 'can i be left alone for a minute?!' tori gets in front and grabs her shoulders. tori tells her to figure out how to move past it cause its affecting everyone. undyne says she doesnt wanna talk about it and shes dealing with it herself. tori says not to yell at her kids anymore. undyne says to stop them from kicking but tori says shes the adult. 'dont get lost on the way back.' tori tells frog to give undyne space and picks them up.

tori goes back to the shop. dans is still zoned out. frog goes over and flops into dans side. dans shoves something in his pocket and asks whats up. they need a nap lol.

[beantothemax]

"Say my name, Cyrus. Say my name!"

Those were the words that had been permanently branded into his inner thigh. He had been so embarrassed about it, he never wore shorts. 

A very dramatic sentence, but an embarrassing one nonetheless, especially because he was going to forget his soulmate's fucking name.

"Technically, fish can drown."

It was probably the most ridiculous sentence his soulmate could say. And it was stamped right into his hip.

Olberic decided that he entirely hated his soulmate.

"Hmm, yes, I think I know now who stole that tome..."

Olberic could only stare at the brunette scholar wearing a simple black greatcoat with golden embroidery draped over his shoulders.

The strangest thing was that he had brown hair and blue eyes, which was extremely rare, if not unheard of.

"Perhaps I should go have a little chat with him... just to make sure we all understand one another."

The scholar turned around.

"Sh- ah, forgive me for not noticing your presence. My name is Cyrus Albright, and I am a scholar of the Royal Academy. May I be of service?"

As Olberic's companions had all gone around the place, he was left alone.

"... are you alright? You seem troubled."

A flash of emotion came across Cyrus' eyes. Like a falling star it came, and like a falling star it left, replaced by a calculating expression.

"Never better, my friend. I see you are a warrior."

"How did-"

"Your sword."

Cyrus sounded almost dead inside.

"It is made from Hornburg Steel, only used by the bravest of knights. And the way it is styled... you must be Olberic Eisenberg."

Olberic weakly opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

"But how?"

Cyrus chuckled.

"I am a history professor, my dear. I would recognise the Unbending Blade from his sword. Although I must say that I should have recognised it from the iconic tunic you wear..."

Cyrus fiddled with the ribbons on his shirt - a habit Olberic would grow to know as a movement implying anxiety.

"... I could use some improvement."

Olberic couldn't help but laugh a little at the way Cyrus scrunched up his nose like a toddler denied sweets.

"Go to sleep, Olberic. You've done enough today."

Cyrus stood up and gave Olberic a stern look, one similar to a mother would give a child reading under the covers.

"But-"

"No buts, Olberic. Rest."

Cyrus left to take both their shifts as Olberic stared quietly at him then laid back down.

"Look out!"

Cyrus was shoved onto the ground as a slimeball zooped right past where he was standing before.

"Oh, that was too close for my liking. Thank you kindly, Sir Olberic."

"My pleasure."

Cyrus blushed as he realised that Olberic was currently keeping him pinned to the ground in a way that was definitely not innocent.

"Sir Olberic...?"

"Yes, Cyrus?"

"Could you kindly remove yourself from me?"

"Ah, yes. My apologies."

Primrose dissolved into helpless giggles.

"Hold still."

Cyrus yelped as Olberic dug his wrists into his lower back. He had moved a bit too fast and ended up with a crick stuck in it, and it fucking hurt.

A loud crack, and Cyrus could breathe again.

"That's much better... thank you, Olberic..."

Cyrus slumped against the elder.

Olberic raised an eyebrow at the affectionate - and rather intimate - gesture.

hehehehhee ‘fish out of water’ like the words……

these are a bunch of snippets of scenes that would be in the fic I’m assuming? looks cool! sad that it wasn’t meant to be

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 6 (18/12/20)

Etho: Endless, defence? Endless: Joker was just standing there, doing Simon Says. I had to kill him. Etho: That’s a good defence. I like that. Endless: I had to kill Joker. And I didn’t know Skizz was there. Etho: I dunno if I can vote him now; that was a really good defence.

...

*emergency meeting is called just after Impulse is killed* Etho: Nooooo! Skizz: What’s going on? Etho: I needed to ask Impulse a question! Skizz: You know what? I’ll channel him! Here, I’ll be Impulse. Ask the question. Etho: …“Impulse”, did you see Skizzle vent in weapons? Skizz, in a “dumb” voice: Duhhh, I’m a big dumb-dumb! Brody: Wooooooow…

...

Brody: Evil voted for Etho and I don’t know why. Evil: For fun.

...

*the round finishes* Impulse, imitating Skizz’s dumb voice: “HI, MY NAME IS SKIZZLEMAN, I LIKE TO DO TASKS INSTEAD OF TURNING THE LIGHTS ON.” Skizz: What are you talking about, dude? I- Impulse: Dude, I was with you to protect you that whole time cuz I was done, and then the first chance you get, you throw me under the bus like that? Skizz: What do you mean throw you under the bus? What does that mean? Impulse, mimicking Skizz mimicking him: “Hi, my name’s Impulse, I don’t knoooow” *pause* Brody: You guys need to hug it out. Tango: I’m not sure what’s happening right now but I’m enjoying it.

...

*Joker reports a body* Joker: Okay. *takes a deep breath* Okay… Etho: Joker’s got something spicy here, I can feel it.

...

*Etho reports a body* Skizz: I’ll let you go first, go ahead. *pause* Skizz: Go ahead, buddy, do it. That was slick. I’ll let you talk first, go ahead. *pause* Skizz: You gotta push-to-talk, though. *pause* Etho: I don’t know if I wanna talk. What’s going on here...?

...

Mrs Tango: I’ve just done the ZOOP ZOOP ZOOP thing in navigation. Tango: ...the what? Mrs Tango: The ZOOP ZOOP ZOOP thing. You know, where you’re ZOOP ZOOP ZOOPing the rocket through the ZOOP ZOOP ZOOPs. Tango: Judges? Endless: That’s an adorable sound!

...

Impulse: Evil was just standing around on Simon Says while the reactor was going off. Evil: It was my fourth time trying to complete it. Tango: If it was your FOURTH time, you should’ve made some progress, man. Evil: I hit the wrong button. Impulse: *votes* OOPS I hit the wrong button! I voted for Evil! (/s)

...

Impulse: *is dead* Etho: Well, we know it’s not Impulse for sure. Brody: That’s… kinda what I’m saying. Etho: I’m a pretty good detective :D

...

Joker: That was a good round, Etho. We both got three kills. Etho: Yeah. I was really slow at the start, though, sorry about that. Joker: No, you’re fine; I made up for it. Bdubs, laughing: So Canadian. “I’m sorry.” Etho, also laughing: “I’m so sorry. I should’ve killed more.”

...

Tango: Brody body in office. Right side. Impulse: Okay! Joker just came from there. Evil, who was with you that whole time? Was it Etho? Evil: Yeah, Etho. Impulse: And you both saw Joker in- Etho: Whoa whoa, don’t insta-vote here. Bdubs: I insta-voted, because Impulse was with me so much. I trust his- I trust him. So much. He’s so sweet. We were together holding hands - SO cute - in specimen. The two of us.

...

Impulse: Do we believe in Bdubs? Impulse, singing: I believe in Bduuuubs, and you know it’s truuuue. Bdubs can’t be wrong, noooo. *pause* Impulse: Apparently I sing now.

...

Impulse: Can we trust Skizz, is the question right now. Skizz: *kills Impulse* Impulse: ...nope.

...

Skizz: I found Joker’s body in O2 and I didn’t see anyone else around. Endless: I still feel pretty confident it’s Joker. Tango: Joker sus.

...

Brody: So I just went into laboratory and the last person I saw was Tango. Tango: I had three tasks in there. Impulse: Was- Brody: Was one of them to kill EvilNotion? Impulse: I wanted to say that!

...

Brody: Who did you say you found, Bdubs? Bdubs: Mrs Tango. Brody: Oh, and Etho’s dead too. Endless: Yeah but who cares about that.

...

Brody: So Skizz hasn’t said anything the whole meeting. Skizz: Okay, here’s exactly what’s happening. I have nothing of value to add. I saw nothing. And also every time Impulse talks, I’m using his plushie to, like, mimic him talking. Brody: Uhhhh… Bdubs: I’m voting you for that. *votes are revealed, the majority has gone with Skizz* Skizz: WHOA what is happening?! Bdubs: You rubbing the plushie, c’mon. Skizz: Not RUBBING! Using it for- That got weird! Impulse: It got weird as soon as you said it.

...

*after Impulse changes his hat to reindeer antlers* Brody: You look festive, Impulse. I appreciate that. Impulse: Yeah, I’m festive now. I think that that’s why I haven’t been imposter, so… Brody: It’s close to Christmas, you gotta be festive. Mrs Tango’s festive too. Look at us down here. Joker: I’m festive! :D Brody: You can festively get outta here with that hat, that’s not Christmas. Get outta here. Bdubs: I have mistletoe above my head, in case anybody’s interested. Endless: I’m pretty sure you’re a potato.

...

Tango: I will tell you 100% unequivocally that Endless just butchered my wife right in front of me. Skizz: I believe you Tango, but I would like you to show a little bit more remorse from watching someone murder your wife. I don’t like the giggle.

...

Brody: Any time I can get Endless out of this game, I’ll do it. Endless: That’s fair…

...

*Tango reports Impulse’s body on MIRA map* Tango: Etho? Did Etho report this one? Okay, guys, here’s what happened- Etho: Get me outta this nightmare. Tango: I opened the door to the bottom airlock of whatever that left-side nonsense is. Etho’s standing on the body, waiting to come out. Etho: Can’t move a muscle on this map… Brody: Etho, who are you voting for, just out of curiosity? You voting for Tango? Etho: ...no. Bdubs: Yes he did, yes he did! Etho: It wasn’t Tango, I promise. Brody and Bdubs simultaneously: Who was it, then? *pause* Etho: It wasn’t Impulse.

...

Tango: Joker, for what it’s worth, you are the worst and I’m probably gonna vote you off. Joker: *bursts out laughing* Tango: You just spent twenty minutes there, bumping your bits against the doors, doing nothing. Joker: I love the sound of those doors!

...

Etho: Okay, so I know it wasn’t Brody, because it looked like he was scanning. Joker: ...well he’s dead, so…

...

Impulse: Tango’s dead in laboratory. I know it’s not Bdubs, cuz I saw him in reactor. I feel like I saw the colour of Etho’s skin but I’m only 90% sure. Brody: ONLY 90?! That’s a pretty high percentage! Etho: ...it’s just not my night, is it?

...

Etho: I was in cafeteria, doing the vending machine. Brody: You mean the VENTING machine? *at the end of the round* Tango: By the way, Brody. Bonus points for “venting machine”, that was awesome, dude. Brody: Oh, thank you! I felt dirty saying it cuz you know how I feel about them, but it was there.

[tsurangaconundrum]

Insp by this art. claire meets s1 dean (beloved). I won’t write a real fic but I will get really close. Episode concept under the cut. 

Opens on claire, now 23, visiting the bunker and Dean and Cas with Kaia. 

They came to sort through bins of old bmol magic stuff whatever 

Claire’s headphones are in. Playing Body of Years by Mother Mother 

She opens a box labelled deactivated. magic bone sends you back in time for 24 hours idrc, this is a plot device. magic. time travel

She touches it. Zoops out of view. End scene. 

(see the skin disappear / and the blood turns to stone / in a body of years, now a pile of bones) 

Now she’s on the street, midday, going “what the hell”

Walks around and finds a library where she picks up a newspaper 

Newspaper says the date is August 20, 2005 

There’s been a gruesome couple of murders recently, very bloody. hearts missing. 

She puts down the newspaper, looks around and she sees him. 

Dean Winchester, 26 years old. 

She walks over (of course). 

He’s guarded. Leather jacket too large and eyes so young. Flashes a smile. Do I know you, sweetheart? 

I- sorry, you just- remind me of someone I know. 

Oh-kay. Well. Lovely as it is to meet you, I’ve got to get going. Business. 

Oh. Are you here about the hunt? Cas brand bluntness for the win. 

His smile hardens, freezes like ice. “What’re you talking about.” It’s not a question. 

I am too. A hunter. I’m here about the… she glances at the newspaper. Werewolf. That’s why... I’m here. 

Dean’s almost hopeful. He’s lonely, been alone so long. His dad hasn’t so much as called in months. 

Oh. Do you wanna like, work it together? He looks so small. 

He isn’t yet the man that claire knows, strong arms, broad chest not grown into yet. Sharp smile more boyish charm than anything else. 

I don’t know, I don’t want to… she doesn’t want to meet John Winchester. All Dean’s stories seemed to end with him. Do you usually hunt with strangers? 

Well. It’s just me right now so... some backup.... would be good. His voice wavers but his smile stays still, smirking and cocksure.

I’m only here today, got family. Waiting. But okay. Sure. She tells him this and his eyes light up quietly. 

I’m short on werewolf killing supplies. You got an extra silver bullet? I’m Claire. She doesn’t want to give herself away, her future self. Claire Nolan.

Dean Smith. Eyebrow raised. He sees the lie. 

There’s a cop outside. He glares at them in the leather jackets and spiky hair coming out of the library. Once they walk by, both roll their eyes in unison, spot the other, and burst out laughing. 

They go to the Impala. 

She’s a beaut, huh? 67 Chevy Impala (insert more car stats)

Yeah. A uh, a friend of mine’s been teaching me all about old cars like this. How to drive ‘em, what to do with them. He... has an Impala too.

Your friend has great taste then. 

They whatever talk about the case, his plan is to visit a farm that night, see about drawing the werewolf out, killing it. Go to his motel, figure out the guns and bullets situation, put it in the trunk. 

They do action, kick ass, kill a werewolf that charges at them, they get splattered in blood for the sexy final girl energy of it all. 

Claire is the one to take it down, shot to the chest. Dean is very impressed. Feels good to know she’s on nearly even skill level with him, past him. 

As they get into the car again Dean’s throwing his head back, laughing at some joke she made or something, he’s so young. He looks so young. 

She pauses, staring at him. He’s never looked like this before. 

What? Got something on my face? He points at the blood all over it. 

No. just. Really remind me of someone I know… 

Claire looks through his tapes for the drive back to his motel. She finds MCRs first album I brought you my bullets you brought me your love. She puts it in and tells him she loves this band. 

He grins, free and easy, rolls down the windows. Opening of track one, Romance, starts. 

They go to the motel again. Settle into the room, clean up the blood (as best as she can, no change of clothes but hey, she’ll be back home soon)

Dean has a nasty scratch on his chest. She cleans it up. No anti-possession tattoo yet but plenty of scars she’s never seen. 

How’d you get this scar over here? 

Heh, 15 year olds don’t run that fast, even with a rugaru on their tail. 

He was 15. And his dad had him playing bait for a rugaru. She could kill this man. We all could. 

They finish up and Dean turns on the tv. Star trek is on. 

Yeah, the show’s great. I’ve been watching when I could for years. 

Hey, how come it’s just you? Hunting solo seems kinda…. She thinks back to all her own hunts, maybe a fun montage. Dangerous and you’re…. Claire doesn’t want to say young. She says it anyway. 

I’m older than you kid. I’m 26, older than you and you’re out here on your own. 

I’ve got family waiting. Told you earlier. 

Yeah? Almost challenging. Me too. Well, my brother’s off at college. He’s not a hunter, but my dad’s busy. I’m doing my own thing at the moment. He smiles, too cheerful. It’s great. Though… I could be persuaded otherwise… 

He’s a stupid slut. He’s hitting on her. Her face is horrified. This guy is like 2/3s of the way to being her dad and he just hit on her. 

She blurts. I’m gay. She thinks you’re way too old for me. 

It is 2005. He is so closeted. He freezes. Oh. kay. Cool. That’s. Uh. So… women huh? 

His whole body is tense. So tense. She wants to tell him. It’s okay. I know. You’re gonna fall in love with this guy though. He’s gonna love you back. You’re gonna be so happy. Instead she says.

Yeah. Women. 

They sit in silence. Let Kirk do the talking for them. 

It’s the morning, the next day. They have breakfast at a diner and he offers a ride wherever she needs to go.  

No but uh, you gonna keep going alone? 

Open road, you kidding me? Can’t wait. 

Yeah. Sure. Stay safe, okay? 

As Dean gets into the impala, background music comes on again. She watches him go as the chorus to Mars the God of War by The Beths plays. 

( I wish that I could wish you well / I wish that I could wish you well / Instead I'm hitting my head and hitting backspace on / Can't you just go to hell? / Can’t you just go to hell )

She is zooped. Future time again. Maybe 5 seconds have passed. She (bloodstained now, dirty), runs out of the room. Finds Dean. Crushes him into a hug. 

( Position changing, never engaging / It's not just the dawn that's breaking / It's not just the dawn that's breaking )

Roll Credits

Details I don’t describe above but think are so important to the episode:

Claire is wearing a brown leather jacket in a similar style to dean’s but. and this is key. hers fits well. 

Claire is also wearing a band shirt. You can pick one for yourself in your fantasy, mine has her in a The Royal They shirt. 

Future dean is going to give the Impala to Claire soon. He’s been teaching her how to fix her, how to tell when something is wrong. 

Dean is gay in this fic. I love bi dean. In this he’s gay. 

[marindram]

(Omega Mart) Rose's Nula Notes

Rose - 1

Hey. Is this working? (taps the phone) Ok.

I went to the old OM today and got a book on Nula. I don't know. Usually that's not my thing. But weird things are afoot. So weird that it's less weird for me to buy woo at the supermarket. I was worried I'd run into Cici there, but let's be real: there's no way she shops at OmegaMart. Or shops for herself period.

Focus.

So: weird things. Yes. There's something crashing at my place. Only I can't talk to them. Or see them.

In fact, I'm pretty sure this person is, to paraphrase Marin, "living rent-free in my head." The old texts say that the Nula, those who built the Source well in the age before the Zenion, sometimes contact people like myself. A psychic connection.

And I need to figure out what's happening to me. I need to know where I go. When I wake up halfway around the Fork and don't know how I got there. Or when I find myself sitting on the couch, missing about five or six hours.

What's happening to me?

I'm going to explore the inside of my skull a little. See if I'm in contact with any of the cosmic scholars. In the meantime. I'll call into my VOCS account and have it take dictation. If my shadow Nula is out there: step up to the mic and say "hello," if you please.

And this part I'm saying right now? It's in case I go completely zip-zop-zoop during this journey. This is for the benefit of whoever comes across these recordings.

ROSE-2

Thali says the Zenion were brought up by the well. They didn't build the well. They didn't find the well. They were brought up by the well. Such a switchy way to think about one's genesis, but one I understand. And admire.

The well is a creative force. It is the sun. It is the trickle of water for eyeless fish in a dark cave. It made Charlie loquacious, and then there's Marin...

The Source is creation. The power to reverse inertia, entropy. We do not thrive without it.

Like a volcanic vent on the ocean floor raises bacteria mad enough to feed there, so too were the Zenion raised by the well.

ROSE-3

(channeling)

Diffusers, Bright shields, Blocking flow, Blocking spiral. No connection. No connection. Trying to reach them. Nothing.

(a door opens and the recording ends)

ROSE-4

Great. So I don't remember recording that last entry at all.

Excuse me.

(She leaves the room)

ROSE - 5

I'm sitting in here with all the lights on. Crazy. Crazy. I can't believe that was me. What the hell?

Charlie found me outside, I wasn't wearing shoes and I was walking toward the factory.

I always thought you weren't supposed to wakos sleepwalkers. Like it would break their heads or something? He woke me up and I'm just "whatever this happens every other night now."

The diffusers.

Bright shields.

We never messed with the well architecture. That was a big no-no. I mean, That's how everything got screwed for Thali and the Zenion, right?

What did Dramcorp build in there? What did they do to the well?

(To her Nula companion)

You know.... If you're going to keep sending me out beyond the rim of space every time you show up, then what good are you? What good are the fractals you show me when the wells all bricked up? The stars don't help. Tell me something useful or get lost.

God. I thought you guys were supposed to be smart.

ROSE-6

(channeling)

One million. One Million. The lock. The chain. Strange device. Breakable,though. The spiral coils through it. But slowly. Trying them. No connection.

Nothing. Hello? Nothing. One Million to Break the Lock. One Million to Break the Lock, One Million to Break the Lock, One Million. Trying them. Nothing.

Alone.

ROSE-7

Just played that one a few dozen times. I'm trying not to get too upset. I do see a connection between these episodes and runoff. I had a little with Charlie before turning in last night.

It's not just the runoff, though.

It was easy to forget -when people were here- that you were living in an other dimension. How, if there wasn't the portal in the desert, you could never ever walk back to Earth. Now post-Dramm, I think about every mile. I trace the labyrinth in my book and it doesn't calm me down anymore. It feels like I'm not getting out of here. "Trying them." Nope.

Is anyone going to be able to play this even? What format is this? I can't even remember my own phone number. Marin! How do I get these off the phone?

ROSE-8

It occurred to me last night that I might be taking the long way around on this thing. And that it would be a lot simpler if I were to confront this entity and say "Hello, I'm your next-door neighbor. Anything eating at your soul?"

I cooked something up. One of Asuncións recipes from back in the day. Strictly "not for publication." Well. Chug-a-lug.

It tastes like - ugh- damnation, but the lavender notes are pretty good. And the wildflower I put in the glass cheers me up.

This should keep me and the shadow Nula I'm channeling in the same head-space. I'll be able to see him. And then I'll demand some answers.

Or shoo him away.

Ugh. There it goes.

Spirals.

And.

Oh. Hey... ----- :

(the receiver falls over)

ROSE-9

God. I am really good at spooky stuff. I can read Nula fingerprints now. Pretty sure I'll be the first person since primordial time to have a face-to-face with a Shadow Nula. My friend (we're friends now, I call him "Shady") told some important stuff. About that lock. "One Million to Break the Lock."

Easy? It's a lot easier than I thought. The Drams built the center of their universe on this spot and staked it all on a janky lock. We just have to convince people to help us. A lot of them.

We're enough. We're resourceful. All Dramcorp can do is make locks. And they

have a Source well. No excuse for being that boring. You're asking to get your stuff broken into at that point.

ROSE-10

Marin's gone. She left us. She ran. Maybe she thought herself somewhere better.

The hand that reaches.

I hope she touched the lock before she left.

(Soft crying sounds)

Well. Got work to do. Busy. Busy.

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: Adulting, New Lake, Fridge Drama

Wednesday: I did about an hour of good adulting around the administrative hearing.  You may remember I only found out about the hearing because I emailed the other side if they had any word on when the hearing was and the lady was like "It's Thursday."  Me: O.o  so I've been back and forth with legal aid.  Lawyer: Wait. They never notified you in writing when the hearing was?  Me: No, I found out basically by accident.  Her: O.o

So Wednesday I was trying to get a continuance and going back and forth with the lawyer.  Spoiler:  I found out Thursday I had in fact got a continuance so the lawyer will have time to look over the documents they sent me this week.

Then three of us went swimming.  Up until now we went to a different lake.  It is smaller and slightly closer and beautiful.  It was the Lake Skye and I always went to except once when we had a... wedding?  Wedding reception at the big lake.  (We never actually swam. just gazed longingly at the people not at a wedding having fun in the water).  Unfortunately, the year before the plague, kayakers infected our lake with zebra snails and snail decontamination stresses us all out.

It was time to pioneer the big lake.  There was actually lots of parking.  Unfortunately I parked in the wrong lot and had a super long gimp to the swim area, but it was perfect weather for swimming in run off lakes a week too early in the season, and we had a nice shady spot to swim before and after, the weather having calmed down a bit from "ovenlike".  It being a weekday afternoon, it was mostly young families, which is fine with me.  Weekends tend to be way too crowded.  I like swimming in the PNW.  All sorts of different body types and shades of skin in one place, instead of the informal segregation that one used to see at the shore growing up.  

We we're even the only goths their, though I was the only visible elder goth.  Given the vintage 40's-early '50's inspired looks the others were sporting I rather wished for a Morticia Addams style victorian parasol and a Gomez Addams striped suit for myself.  It was not quite as pretty, but we still had trees and mountains to look at and it was like geometrically easier for me to get in and out as a disabled person.  It was night and day.

So this is where we swim now.  It costs gas and spoons, but I think we'll be going often this summer.  The Youngest Millennial was making big plans for tupperware salad and sandwiches.  (Park admission to both lakes is free).

I made it to bed between 12:30 and 1:00 as intended.

Thursday: I didn't know about the continuance yet so I was up and dressed for it, which was good as I forgot other Millenials were coming by to pick up the forage we couldn't use.  These were thankfully later than planned as it bought me an extra almost two hours of sleep.

I came out to find Squirrel'd left the refrigerator open killing the fridge part and imperiling my frozen foods.  Me: Fuck!  Anyway, I chatted with the Millenial and found out about the continuance and phoned the repair man (who hadn't fixed it right in November anyone, something we talked about... January or february? and had intended to come look at it, but it's been a busy year and...) and while I was at it phoned the glasses place as a noise thingie fell off Tuesday.  Left a message for repair guy, as they were out working, stopped at the library, got my glasses fixed, and zooped home.  It is currently warm but reasonable where I am, though it's utter disaster still further north.

For reference, before climate change started fucking with Pacific wind patterns, we got about two weeks of Summer and two of Winter, usually not contiguous.  Hence so few people having air conditioning and improper building design for surprise Florida weather.  We specialize in mist and rain, in looooooong Autumns and Springs.

It is scary as fuck that it got this hot at all, let alone in late June.  summer is usually in the back half of July or early August.

Smart money is: It's going to happen again and again this summer.  The fact that the fans can handle it right now doesn't mean they will be all right in a week or two.

In any case, I took down the Pride flags today until waiting for the fifth like I did last time out of defiance.  I also pulled the very not allowed Foil out of the front window and folded it to keep under the TV on a shelf on the assumption that we'll need it again.  I do not want to tempt fate.  If they haven't warned me about foil it means I can keep putting it up in emergencies.  <.< >.>  I'm kind of hoping asshole HOA patrol thought it was too hot to busy body.

Squirrel says he will pay to fix the fridge so that's a load off my mind.  I will need to hold bill money in reserve in case it's more expensive than expected.  I asked friends for solutions and we are going to try some things once we know for sure we can get the fridge fixed.  (I'm a little freaked out because I know what fridges cost and that's all our bill money combined all summer if we have to replace and realistically that means I need to buy a large mini fridge and a second small chest freezer and try to learn to live like that.)  I have real hope we won't need to fall back on plan B, but I am the sort of person who needs a plan B if I want to sleep ever.

Anyway, fridge guy called to talk over WTF, and he will call tomorrow.  I think he's going to try to squeeze us in somewhere instead of making us wait 2-3 weeks.  *digits cruciform*

[monochromemedic]

Flashback pt 3

Through the booming music that was beginning to die down, the lights that were beginning to settle, and the loud whistles of a few people from the crowd, two men sat in silence at the back of the karaoke bar. Fallon was deep red in the face, hand brushing through his hair as he slouched  over on the table. Silas wasn’t much better. He wasn’t blushing or pale but he was staring off in the distance, arms crossed as he tried to process everything. In the silence of the karaoke bar as another person readied the stage and Dom walked off, back to his table to down a drink, the two men stared at their future friend. He was so different. The Dom they knew seemed restrained, work oriented, hell they never heard him sing before but here Dom was, looking like some heart throb decked out in revealing clothing and piercings. “Maybe we’re in a messed up timeline? Like we’ll leave and we’ll find out that this timeline is the one where there’s was a punk revolution or... uh aliens. And Dom’s just an alien in disguis-” Fallon trailed off as Silas stared at him causing him to cut himself off “Well can you blame me this is... weeiird.” “It is it’s just... no it is.” Silas muttered, rubbing his arm observing the table that Dom was now at. He was smiling, laughing even, as he talked to the other man at his table as they ordered another round of drinks. “He looks happy. I don’t think i’ve ever seen him smile like that.”  “Man don’t say that...that’s sad...” Fallon muttered under his breath before standing up and beginning to walk towards the table Dom was at, only getting a few steps before Silas stopped him. “What are you doing man?” “Im gonna go home man. I’m gonna grab that picture and disappear back to my own time, with the grumpy Dom I know, with my shitty bed, and shitty pop culture.” “And just... yoink it from them like a weirdo?” “...Yeah. I mean I’ll touch it and be magically transported back where everything is ok and swell and none of this matters so... I mean does it matter really?” Fallon chuckled, giving a light shrug of his shoulders “But what if it isn’t like that and because we interact with him it messes everything up. Like that thing the... the... uh... damn I can’t think of the term.” “Butterfly Effect? I’d rather deal with that then having to tip toe my way around him and end up fucking myself over and living in the past for the rest of my life Silas. Time Travel is fucky, maybe it’ll correct itself... I mean we gotta hope.” Fallon turned back around to stare at the table, giving a little sigh “I’ll play it like the movies ok? I’ll pretend i’m meeting him for the first time, and we’ll get to know him. We get close, we grab the picture, we zoop back to shitty 2020 ok?” Silas’ fingers tightened around Fallon’s jacket before he too got up, an obvious look of worry and fear visible on his face. “Ok...” The two approached Dom, who turned his head up at the approaching group, a questioning look on his face. “Can I help you?”  Fallon almost laughed, the sound of Dom’s voice, although a bit younger and less rough was still the same. Deep, and harsh to him. Just how he liked it. “Hey, I liked your song. It was... interesting. You got a nice voice.”  “Oh. Uh... thank you.”  “Yeah it’s real nice, I like the style too, real stick it to the man. I noticed you got a few piercings, and well, I was interested in a few myself. How much does it hurt?”  Silas stared in amazement at how smooth Fallon was being, and in just as in much shock at how Dom chuckled back, relaxing towards the strangers. At least one of them wouldn’t be a bumbling idiot... “Hurts like a bitch in the moment but, it’s nothing. Unless you’re talking about the tongue piercing?” Dom stuck out his tongue, the bobble of the piercing shimmering with spit in the dancing lights. “That one, that’s nasty haha. Mind if I sit down with my friend? I’m real interested in alternative stuff and you look like a man that would know a thing or two about having a good time with that sort of shit. Plus if I can convince Silas to get drunk enough, I might get him to get a nipple piercing and I need all the info I can to get him to not pussy out.” Fallon said, already talking a seat at the table. “Wa...wait what?” Silas interjected, suddenly aware of the conversation Dom looked away for a moment before giving a nod of approval for Silas to also take a seat, staring at the tow of them carefully. “Yeah, I think that’d be alright. You two seem...” He paused, trying to think of the right word. “Alright enough.” Dom’s friend looked weary though, and gave a look to Dom, to which he quickly gave a wave back, almost telling his friend to leave. Dom’s friend nodded and began to pack up, but not before handing the still fresh polaroid to Dom, which he looked at fondly before pocketing. “Sorry, my friend has to go to work in the morning. He just wanted to come and support me for singing on stage the first time. It’s not you guys I promise.” “First time on stage? Really? You could have fooled me, you acted like a real rockstar up there.” Fallon complimented, eyes focused intently on where the photo was. He thanked god for the sunglasses, or else a stranger glaring at a man’s pants would have been awkward. “Yeah I uh... I practice... um so about the piercing? I’m... Dom by the way.”  “Fallon, and this is my friend Silas.”  Dom looked over at Silas, eyeing him up and down slowly. Silas could feel a bead of sweat begin to form on his brow as he gave a nervous smile back. “Alright, so what do you want to know?” Fallon did most of the talking, making up bullshit about how for the longest time he was considering some sort of piercing but wasn’t exactly sure where, and how Silas was always a coward when it came this sort of shit, and how Fallon was desperately trying to trick him to get a piercing as a joke. Dom responded in a few short responses only starting to warm up as the conversation continued on.  Silas was at least glad that he didn’t seem completely changed, not a complete party animal. It probably helped loosen him up with how much everyone was drinking. At first Dom had just ordered another glass of coke and rum, but soon those glasses were piling up with the money Fallon was putting on the table. He knew what he was up too, and although Silas took a few glasses himself, he  had to stay at least a bit sober. And Dom was definitely not that.  His tongue rolled and hanged on letters for much to long, the way his eyes beginning to lull close as he laughed far too loud. Fallon was long gone too, laughing just as loud along side him, before hiccuping it and doing it all over again. “Uh... hey... Dom it’s getting late, don’t you think you should be getting home? You got a ride or something?” Silas asked, interrupting the giggle fest the two were having. “Ah... shit yeah, I don’t got a ride I just walk home. I don’t live that far from here.” Dom slurred, his tongue piercing clacking against his teeth. “You need some help getting home I mean... you are kinda sloshed.” “No, no it’s ok, it’s fine...” He groaned as he began to get up, stumbling to his feet and heading for the door. Dom waved the bartender a goodbye, but not before falling against the doorway. “Jesus Christ Dom, you aren’t walking home alone, you can barely stand up.”  Silas raced out of his seat, grabbing Dom’s shoulders and steadying the shorter man. “You’re gonna get hit by a car or something.” Silas didn’t have to look back to know that the clattering of chairs and stumbling footsteps was Fallon following behind him, almost running into his friend’s back. “Yeah you look like shit man... let’s get youuuu home haha.” “Well I mean... you guys were so nice I... I guess so. I guess it wouldn’t hurt!” Dom grinned wide and waltzed out to the sidewalk, Silas by his side steadying him. It only took a couple of blocks before they came across a rather shitty looking apartment complex. Dom seemed to B-line up the stairs to a certain door, almost like he had done it a million times before. “Welll this is home. You guys were... great I’m... you’re great.” “It was nothing. I mean you helped us alot, it’s only fair we got you home safe. I just hope we can get home.” Silas told him, eyes darting down to the ground in thought. Dom nodded, poking Silas in the chest as he closed his eyes, his face scrunching hard. “You get back safe ok? You get back... mm safe.” Silas would have felt touched by that sentiment if it wasn’t for the fact that immediantly after Dom passed out against him, causing him to desperately grab the falling body before he hit the ground. Luckily he did so, but not before Fallon gave a loud gasp of ‘Woahhhh’ in his drunken haze. “Oh my god we killed him! Oh fuck we killed past Dom, we fucked itt... awww....”  The dyed hair man sniffled, his face contorted in over-exaggerated sadness as he grabbed the keys that fell from Dom’s hands, starting to try the door as snot began to run down his face. “Gotta hide the body in the house... he died in the house, all drunk and sad.... put him in a bed aw fuck man...” “He’s not... he’s not dead you just kept handing him booze until he passed out! I’m surprised you’re still standing to be honest, let’s just get him inside and grab the picture and bail ok?”  “OH shit the picture, I forgot about that.” Fallon laughed, all signs of remorse fading from his face. When they opened the door they found that it was actually pretty clean for the state of the apartment overall. A few clothes on the ground here and there but otherwise everything was stacked neatly and cleanly, far from the look Dom was presenting to the world. Silas had to basically drag Dom to his bed room, tucking him into bed with a kind look of sadness,hand going to move a few strands of hair from his face. “Take it easy Dom, we’ll see you on the other side.” “OH god we’re dying now?” “No Fal, god... why the fuck did you drink so much?”  Silas began to dig in Dom’s pockets, pulling out the polaroid and staring at it with a small smile. “Fal?” Fallon moved beside Silas, reaching for the photo and grabbing it. “I wanna go home man, i’m done here...” With that another race of energy overcame the two. A flash of light, the feeling of weightlessness, and then they were back. Flat on the carpet of Dom’s room where they started. As soon as Silas regained feeling back in his body, he threw the picture back in the draw, resisting the urge to burn the thing that sent them back in time to make sure it never happened again. It took a second for Fallon to get back to his feet, still drunk from the drinking spree he had back in time. He grabbed at Silas, clawing at his shirt as he pulled himself upwards. “We did it! We’re home! I... I wanna sleep.” “Yeah I know-” “What are you two doing?” Both of them turned to face Dom, eyebrows furrowed together as he stepped into the room. His face was older, prominent bags under his eyes, his hair slicked back and the scar that was around his left eye still pink and puffy. “We did it... Oh you’re SOOOO old!” Fallon blabbered, racing over to Dom and hugging him close, rubbing his still snotty face against Dom’s well kept shirt. Dom gasped, pushing Fallon off of him and groaning in frustration. “Are you drunk? How the hell did you get drunk- you got... get out.” “Aw I loved getting yelled at!” Fallon chuckled, before stumbling out the room and onto Dom’s couch to lie down. Silas followed not far behind, but not before stopping by Dom as he passed. “I know it sounds weird but it’s nice to see you again. You have a nice voice.” Dom paused, opening his mouth to speak only to close it, his face turning red as he grabbed and played with the watch on his wrist, twisting and turning it as he thought back to his younger days.

[nitewrighter]

Can you write a pre-fall angst Gency fic pretty please ? :D

I’ve been meaning to write more Pre-Fall Moira, too. Have I ever had Moira and Genji converse? I should fix that.

—-

“You said it was a routine mission,” said Genji, walking briskly alongside Jack and Gabe.

“Not to you,” said Jack, “You understand the point of compartmentalization, don’t you?”

Genji visibly bristled but Reyes put a hand on Genji’s shoulder. “Easy,” Gabe said, looking between them, “You know my squad’s been antsy since we’ve been benched.”

“There’s a difference between ‘antsy’ and ‘listening in on conversations that could compromise multiple Overwatch operations,’” said Jack, before glancing over at Gabe, “How many of my meetings and debriefings do you have him listening in on?”

“I don’t ‘have him’ listen in on anything! He gets around the base!” said Gabe.

“If you can’t control your agents—” Jack started.

“By all means continue talking about me as if I’m a child who is not here,” said Genji.

“Calm down–” said Reyes. 

“Calm down!? Morrison is putting the appearance of Overwatch over the safety of its agents and you want me to calm down?!” Genji fumed.

“Reyes,” Morrison said his name in warning and Gabe breathed tensely through his teeth before giving Genji’s shoulder a ‘please shut the fuck up for both our sakes’ squeeze.

“There’s no guarantee you would have been able to do anything if you were on that mission,” said Reyes, looking at Genji in the eye, “Your being here is a privilege because Morrison recognizes that the wellbeing of Doctor Ziegler is very important to you. Your being here is against protocol, and it can easily be revoked if you can’t control yourself. Do you understand?”

Genji’s eyes narrowed and he glanced off, the fury in his face hidden by the metal plate of his mask. “I understand,” he said, his voice dull and hot like iron from a fire.

The three of them walked out to Zurich headquarters’ hangar. Several medical staff were already present with a stretcher as the Orca hovered in, flanked by several maintenance vehicles before settling on the floor of the hangar. Genji tensed as the door to the Orca opened and Reinhardt hurried out, closely followed by Torbjörn and Tracer. The front of Reinhardt’s armor was splattered with blood, and in his arms he was carrying a crumpled figure, her face obscured by a shroud of white-blonde hair and a red-flecked white beret.

“Angela–” Genji instinctively stepped forward but Reyes put an arm in front of him as the medics already in the hangar rushed forward with a stretcher. Reinhardt stooped and put her on it and she was briefly obscured by several medical staff. The medical staff seemed to be questioning Reinhardt and Reyes brought his arm down, allowing Genji to rush to the side of the stretcher.

“Angela–Doctor Ziegler–” he started, reaching her side.

Her eyelids fluttered but kept her eyes half lidded as one medic fussed with an I.V at her wrist.

“Genji?” her voice was hoarse and blood was all down the front of her blue combat medic uniform, “You’re… you’re not supposed to be on this mission…” 

“You’re not on the mission, you’re back at headquarters–you’re safe—” Genji was stumbling over his words.

“Oh…?” Her eyes flicked around the hangar sleepily before they turned back to him, “The others… are the others…?” her eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp on the stretcher as her eyes closed.

“Angela?!” Genji said in alarm.

“Vitals are still stable–” said one of the medics, shoving Genji out of the way as they all swarmed the stretcher, pushing the stretcher out of the hangar and towards the medical wing. Genji would have followed after them but knew he would probably only get in the way. He looked over at Reinhardt. Reinhardt watched the stretcher be wheeled off in a grim, tense silence that was uncharacteristic of him before he turned on his heel and perked up to see Morrison and Reyes.

“Strike commander–” he started, looking at Morrison.

“You were captain on this mission!” Genji suddenly stepped in front of him, “How could you let this happen?!”

“Genji–” Reyes started.

“It wasn’t his fault!” Tracer darted between Genji and Reinhardt.

“Of course it was the rookie,” snarled Genji, turning on Tracer, “You overextend in training and you overextended here, is that it?! You never listened to a single word I said in CQC, did you?!”

“Genji!” Reyes said more harshly.

“Reinhardt’s shield went down! There was nothing we could do!” said Tracer. Her voice cracked a little.

“You can time travel and I’m supposed to believe there was nothing you could do!?” said Genji. Tracer winced at his words.

“You’ve got no business yelling at her when you weren’t even there!” Torbjorn snapped.

“No! Apparently I’m supposed to just be okay with the safety of Overwatch’s chief scientific and medical mind being left in the hands of the elderly and incompetent!” Genji fired back.

Torbjorn turned beet red with fury and opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by Reyes.

“Shimada! Stand down!” Reyes barked and Genji caught himself and looked over his shoulder at Reyes.

“Morrison and I will debrief the others,” said Reyes, “You came here to make sure the Doctor was still alive. She’s still alive. Now back to your quarters.”

“I–” Genji started.

“To your quarters,” said Reyes, his voice steady.

Genji drew a breath shaky with fury before turning on his heel and storming out of the hangar.

—-

“You made her cry, y’know,” McCree said the next day as Genji sullenly hunched over his tablet in the Blackwatch intel center beneath Zurich headquarters, looking over the heavily redacted debriefing of the mission Reyes had given him.

“Genji,” McCree said his name and Genji glanced up. “I said you made Tracer cry. I saw it at breakfast this morning. She zip-zooped right out of the mess hall to try and hide it.”

“That’s not my problem,” said Genji, looking back down at the tablet.

“I know you’re upset over the Doc getting hurt but everyone cares about her just as much as you do. Everyone’s just as upset–” McCree started.

“If everyone cared maybe she wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” Genji’s voice was still tense.

“This shit happens, Genji. Reyes said she’s going to make a full recovery—”

“Maybe you can handle being stuck around Zurich like a useless pile of trash because that’s your natural state, McCree, but I can’t,” said Genji, standing up and pacing around.

A beat passed between the and it hit Genji how harsh his words just then were.

“…Jesus,” said McCree, after a beat.

“I–” Genji’s shoulders tensed, “I didn’t–That wasn’t—” he inhaled, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re messed up, Genji,” said McCree, “But I get it. You should apologize to Tracer, too.”

“I should…” Genji said quietly, “I mean I will but–I will.”

“Go take care of what you need to take care of,” said McCree, “Get your head right.”

“Mm,” Genji gave a single nod.

—-

“It’s important that Doctor Ziegler not be disturbed at this time,” said the Omnic nurse posted outside Mercy’s room in the infirmary.

“I know,” said Genji, “I won’t wake her up. I just.. I need to see her. I’ll be short.”

“Well… you are on her list of approved visitors…” said the Omnic, stepping aside.

“I am?” said Genji, “I–I mean, thank you.” He pressed the panel at the side of the door and it slid open. He stepped in and it closed behind him.

Mercy looked a lot better than she had the previous night–of course, cleaning all the blood off of someone and putting them in a hospital gown would do that. Her hair was down, splashed around her head on the pillow like a halo.

“Our guardian angel,” an uncomfortably familiar voice spoke and Genji whirled on his heel to see Moira leaning against the wall in the corner of the room. She had taken to dressing a bit more casually since Blackwatch’s suspension, dressed in a quarter-sleeve boat-necked black shirt and high-waisted faded jeans. She stepped alongside Genji, looming over Mercy in her hospital bed. Moira clicked her tongue with pity, “The state of you…” she said to Mercy, with an almost theatrical sorrowfulness.

Genji flinched away from Moira. “You’re on the approved list of visitors?” he blurted out.

“The list of what now?” said Moira, folding her arms and tilting her head, “Oh–no. Well, probably not. But better to ask forgiveness than beg permission and all that. Considering I wouldn’t even be in Blackwatch without the efforts of our esteemed Doctor here.”

“What?” said Genji.

“I never told you?” said Moira, before she glanced off and muttered, “Of course I never told you, why would I tell you?” she caught herself and cleared her throat, “Ah, well… prior to your…” Moira gestured up and down at Genji, “Joining, of Overwatch, I was actually a scientist of great esteem. The position our dear Doctor Ziegler holds now? Well, once upon a time, that position was mine.”

Genji’s eyes narrowed.

“Once,” said Moira, stepping around Mercy’s hospital bed, “I had as many resources at my disposal as she does now. But then I make the mistake of publishing my findings, as any scientist worth their salt would do, and when other scientists were unable to replicate the results of my experiments, when other scientists decry my methods as ‘unethical,’ then everyone leaps for my throat. And then who should show up then but dear little Angela Ziegler? The Crisis orphan? The child prodigy? ‘I looked up to you once’ she says, and with only a few words to Morrison I am cast down from my position. My funding is cut and I am forced, for the sake of Overwatch’s reputation, to tender my resignation. But of course, I’m too useful to really be let go, so Morrison just lets Reyes scoop me right up from where he dropped me. Overwatch let my reputation and my grants burn, but still there is work to be done, so here I am.” She looked down at Mercy in the hospital bed, “Here I am,” she said once more, as if Mercy could hear her. “She’s easier to control than I was,” Moira said quietly, “I suppose Morrison likes that.”

“She is not ‘easy to control,’” said Genji, his hand balling into a fist at his side, “She’s a good person.”

“One’s willingness to be defined as quote unquote ‘a good person’ determines how easy one is to control,” said Moira with a smile, “We once let our morality be defined by people who burned anyone with a heliocentric theory of the solar system at the stake. Are we really willing to put our preconceived notions of morality above that of which we perceive with our own eyes?” 

“You’re glad she got hurt,” Genji’s voice was dark.

“That’s not really the right word for it,” said Moira, unfolding her tablet and projecting a blue hologram of an artist’s mannequin-like model of the human body–a section of its back highlighted yellow, “I’m not glad she got hurt so much as I’m willing to make the most of it. You see, our dear Doctor Ziegler has these biotic spinal implants of her own design that she lets almost no one get a good look at. I was simply here to compile what biometric data I could about their design. I can’t exactly run a full MRI on her.”

“…Maybe she thought whoever had the design wouldn’t use it with good intentions,” said Genji, watching Moira squint at the hologram on her tablet.

“Science isn’t about good intentions, Genji,” said Moira, spinning the hologram around with a flick of her wrist, “Science is about truth. But Overwatch doesn’t care about truth. Overwatch doesn’t care about you or me or her,” Moira gestured at Mercy, “Overwatch cares about Overwatch. And I’m sure you realize that by now.” 

Genji winced a little bit where he stood. “If you aren’t on Doctor Ziegler’s list of approved guests, you should leave,” he said, squaring his shoulders.

“Of course, Agent Shimada,” said Moira disappearing in a wisp of smoke.

Genji took a steadying breath where he stood before looking down at Mercy.

“You are a good person,” he said, just as much to himself as to her. He walked towards the door and pressed a panel next to it, opening it.  “I’ll be here when you wake up,” he said, before walking through.

[hrtiu]

32 and 39 for the writing ask? 💕

Thanks so much for your questions! Questions are from this post.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Hmmm this one's a little hard for me... There are a bunch of things I could probably say but the one that comes most to mind is the story of the Dexterous Butcher from Zhuangzi. It's kind long but I'll just post a few paragraphs here:

Cook Ding was cutting up an ox for Lord Wenhui. As every touch of his hand, every heave of his shoulder, every move of his feet, every thrust of his knee — zip! zoop! He slithered the knife along with a zing, and all was in perfect rhythm, as though he were performing the dance of the Mulberry Grove or keeping time to the Jingshou music.

“Ah, this is marvelous!” said Lord Wenhui. “Imagine skill reaching such heights!”

Cook Ding laid down his knife and replied, “What I care about is the Way, which goes beyond skill. When I first began cutting up oxen, all I could see was the ox itself. After three years I no longer saw the whole ox. And now — now I go at it by spirit and don’t look with my eyes. Perception and understanding have come to a stop and spirit moves where it wants. I go along with the natural makeup, strike in the big hollows, guide the knife through the big openings, and following things as they are. So I never touch the smallest ligament or tendon, much less a main joint.

This story is one of my favorite descriptions of Daoist philosophy and the idea of wuwei (action through inaction), and I really like it. I read it for the first time in a Chinese literature class I took in undergrad, and it's always stuck with me. Writing takes a lot of effort, and it doesn't happen very often, but every once in a while I get into a zone where I just write and write and everything comes out feeling so right, and it feels like this idea of wuwei. I think some of my best writing has come out of times like this.

Oh, also, the title for my original novel comes from this story!

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

Oh man I don't know! I honestly get discouraged quite often. What keeps me going is the support and enthusiasm of my friends and family. And honestly old comments from my fics help a lot too! It's a little embarrassing, but sometimes I just scroll through old comments on my fics and it really gets me motivated 😅

[yoshimickster]

RWBY Vol 5 episode 11: THIS IS IT-I think(spoilers).

OOF-one hell of a party last night, my brother’s friend had this SUPER intense basil vodka that was liquid intensity-BUT FUCK THAT SHIT-onto the Micksterecap! And you know how it’ll start folks-

NOTHING HAPPENING! Its cool, after last episode I have accepted the pacing as a brilliant use of slow burn. Nice night though, look at that big ass, not disintegrated moon!

1:44

HAHAHAHA-oh man, they both be sharing the same “This is fucking bull shit” face. Oh I be they’ll get along like aces when Weiss finally proposes to Yang.

1:51

Ruby: Oh, shit, look at that thing!

Ruby: That is one nice ass slightly leaning tower!

Qrow: Ruby quit possibly foreshadowing and get a move on, we’re meeting Leo to what is TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY not a trap.

Yang: Man, out of ALL the guys on your side do turn evil, lucky it wasn’t one of the SMART ones right?

Qrow: Well...lucky by MY perspective.

They all then slowly walk INTO-

2:24

...a...trial room? Or the entrance to a trial room? *GASP*-is my RWBY/Ace Attorney fan fiction FINALLY coming to fruition?! AND YES-Qrow would be the Phoenix.

2:33 Leo: Thank you for...uh...coming.

Qrow: Oh god dammit Leo, WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO LIE?!

Weiss: I take back EVERYTHING I ever said bad about you Ozpin in season 1, this guy is WAY dumber!

Oz: Water under the bridge.

2:41

Qrow: Eh, you know what they say, the more the merrier.

DAMN-hitting the title THAT early in? My “Shit going down”-ameter is going off the CHARTS!

2:42 Aw man, LOOK AT HOW COOL HIS WEAPON IS! He better use it before Qrow logically murders him and/or he returns to the light side of the force.

Leo: Why...did you bring your weapons?

Qrow:Leo...you are literally wearing a weapon right  now. As am I, like I ALWAYS do, as the rest of them now do because they know that this world is a scary nightmare factory.

Leo: Yeah...I am DUMB!

2:54 Yang: Hey, what’s that shit?

2:59

Yang: DAMMIT MOM-17 years you’ve been avoiding me, only NOW do I see you regularly, AND ITS WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL US!

Raven: I AM TRANSFORMED!

And then she turns BACK into a human, all while telling Leo his nepharious misdeeds movie style, utterly ruining Leo’s all ready terrible plan. You’re fault for trusting scary teleporting bird ladies dude!

 4:38 Ruby being the cinnamon roll she is TRIES to get Raven to rejoin the light side  and quash her defeatist attitude. 

AND IN PREDICTABLE BITCH RAVEN FASHION-

4:51 Raven: You sound, just like your mother.

And she says it in a REALLY nasty way too, like you just wanna STAB this bitch. And OF COURSE-

She opens a portal that...shoots a fireball?

4:56

Oooooooooooooh, right right right, Cinder, that makes  more sense. Was thinking her portals worked glyph style or something. ALSO-was Cinder just waiting all this time for a portal to open and then shoot a fireball through it? I hope she was sitting down, this took a while to plan.

5:05

Shit, the whole GANG is here. Ah well I bet there will be NO-ONE else joining-

-AND HERE COMES DEATHVOICE-hoo boy. We THEN see the whitefangbangers-

5:44 Setting up bombs ALL around the tower that was foreshadowed earlier! Preeeeeeeeeeeeeetty obvious Rooster Teeth.

Look at him, he’s like a kid with a new toy! A murderous, murderous new toy.

6:19 OH SHIT-it turns out that Leo got them into the fucking VYTAL festival, he’s been a part of this since season ONE! Fuckin’ cowardly ass lion.

6:49 DOUBLE SHIT-he gave Salem the info about the local huntresses and huntsmen and had them KILLED! FUCK THIS PUSSY UP...wait, pussy like pussy cat, not the other way.

But enough about that-THE DRAMA BOMB WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR-

7:03

LOGICALLY ANGST RIDDEN JAUNE! I mean I’m PRETTY SURE its not gonna be him who kill Cinder but...wouldn’t that be wonderful?

He then gives one FUCK of a speech...which Cinder responds with...hoo boy-

7:38

Cinder:...who are you again?

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH-that is just MEAN! MURDER HER!

...okay I still want her dead, but DAMN does that flame sword look COOL!

AND THEN WE GET OUR MATCHES-Jaune vs Cinder(PLEASE don’t die), Emerald vs Ruby(weird match-up, not much there thematically, but still cool) Mercury vs Yang(BREAK HIS ARMS) Qrow versus Raven(duh), Hazel versus Renora, and Weiss versus Vernal who TOTALLY doesn’t need to use her powers on her, right Raven? Fuckin’ bitch.

8:38

BATTLE CLASH! Quick, hit the right buttons!

9:32 Oooooooooooooooooooooh, Oz is maaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! ALSO...is Leo a lion faunus? NEAT!

OH SHIT-his weapon is a...compass? I dunno, I’m liveblogging!

ZOOP-nevermind, its an awesome matter making deally bop!

AND THE REVEAL-that he is Ozpin(not quite) and Oscar admittedly gets some blows on him, good for him! GRANTED Leo is a total broken wuss-BUT STILL!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut  that turns out to be what he WANTS as he can then deliver him to Salem...HOOOOOOOOOO boy, best get to fightin’ Oscar ol’ boy!

CUT TO-

11:47

Weiss versus Vernal, who sports two LOVELY throwing blades, nice!

Weiss then zigs away, puts up an ice wall-

ATTEMPTS TO SUMMON THE KNIGHT-

12:00

OOH-but Vernal dispels it with a power Slash! SEE-Raven, she DID need to use her powers! Seriously, how’d you forget that this girl could make bad-ass knights out of thin air, of ANY size!

12:11 Vernal: Don’t think I’m going to let you take the EASY way out!

Weiss: Should you really talk, little miss magic pants?

Vernal: TASTE MY BLADE!

Holy shit so much battling-CUT TO-

12:23

Cinder bullying Jaune in the background, while Ruby fights Aladdin!

After Emerald professes her obvious love for Cinder-

She puts the WHAMMY Rwby with her mind powers-

She GOES IN FOR THE KILL-making Ruby shoot a bullet WHICH-

-freaking NARROWLY goes by Weiss! Just think, our ship-charts would’ve been altered YET AGAIN by that bullet. I remember when Phyrra died, oh the sadness.

OH-her blades also shoot! ALSO-look at Vernal’s smug ass face there, bitch.

OH SHIT-they were laser blades! Guess she didn’t use her powers-BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY-we got CRACKLE YO! SHIT IS GETTING CRAZY!

CUUUUUUUUUUUUU TO-

Jaune fighting not only Cinder-BUT ALSO-his demons!

13:14 Jaune: STOP MESSING WITH ME!

Me: NO NO NO dude, poor choice of words!

13:21

Oh shit shit SHIT-she doubled the attack power, ATTACK POWER IS DOUBLED!

The two then attempt a battle clash, Ruby sees it and goes all-

13:33 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALSO-there are your stupid silver eyes you impatient FUCKS! Yeah you know who you are, and you AREN’T critics, your just whiney fans! Don’t be RWDE y’all.

OOH-but Emerald knocks her out mid Avatar state! Hope that doesn’t block her off from her powers for most of the season, only to learn later that she WASN’T blocked off from her powers the whole time.

13:40

It DOES however temporarily put her in pain! HAHA-fuck you Cinder! Jaune of course ain’t takin’ NO slack on this by the way-

DAMN-straight up GRAZED son! Logically she...she wasn’t happy about that.

See?

Jaune: I always wanted a woman to stomp on me, BUT NOT YOU!

HURRY JAUNE-friggin’ unlock your obvious semblance and PULL THAT SWORD TOWARD YOU!

Cinder then berates the kid, WHILE(and I’m NOT judging him for this, heat of battle) stupidly tells her that the OTHER fighters are more important than him. ALSO-

14:30

Hazel fights weaponless apparently! Neat!

What happens next...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY-

14:50

UGH-using Phyrra’s weapon?! That’s LOW! But seriously-SHE THROWS THAT SHIT-

15:02 RIGHT INTO WEISS...also forgive me for the next line-

Jaune; WHY DO ALL MY 17 YEAR OLD NOT-GIRLFRIENDS KEEP BREAKING ON ME?!

SO YEAH-I am...PRETTY sure its a flesh wound but...HOLY FUCKING SHIT that’s a cliffhanger! CHOP OFF HER HEAD JONNY BOY!

Fuckin’ hell, the action was admittedly not as good as last weak but this was still one HELL of an episode! See you next week folks ON MICKSTERECAPS!

[dzmoot]

THE MAGNIFICENT ZONKO

This is a poem I have written for a friend's magazine back in October. It's time I post it here for those who weren't able to read it! Hope you like it!

A long time ago, as most stories go

There was a far off land with a haunted meadow

There were pumpkins with faces and ghosts in the sky

Odd looking flowers and black cats with one eye

Here in this land were several spooky creeps

Mummies in coffins, sentient body parts in heaps

Sumo wrestler vampires, a zombie unicorn with a horn

Octopus men with heads like candy corn

And haunted superheroes, a giant fire breathing lizard

And last but not least, the great Zonko, a chef wizard

Zonko was angry, embittered and jealous

All the other monsters in the land had their own cereal and he was becoming zealous

He wanted his own cereal, unlike anything before

One so tasty, you’d want to eat more and more

It couldn’t be chocolate, strawberry or vanilla

Orange Creme, Liverwurst, Bologna, Nutella

Something scrumptious, delectable, delicious with milk

Like his own favorite breakfast, Scary-Os made from spiders’ silk

He set out on his quest, trying to find the right flavor

All the kids in the land would love it, be excited, they’d waver

That night in his cabin, Zonko and his assistant Goobo got right to work

And he put his magical cooking spells to good use with a great big smirk

He leaned over his cauldron with a giant wooden spoon

And in his excitement, he even howled at the moon

What a loon!

He tried parrot beaks, worm feet, the wings of a fish

Marshmallow termites, ladybugs, pizza, deep dish

He mixed in chicken lips, lizard hips, alligator eyes

Octopus fangs, rat saliva, even glowing lightning flies

A dash of cyanide, some poison oak for good luck

Goblin fingers, pincher bugs and the breath of a rubber duck

And when Zonko’s concoction was ready to go

He opened his spellbook as the steam began to grow

He found the right spell, it didn’t take him long

And with his mighty voice, he started to chant it….in song

Azora denora clippata clonkey coof

Delona Detrona Boop Boop Beedoof

Expelliarmitus Pillamarticus Chim Chim Cheree

Globbity Glob Zippity Zoop Mogity MOREE!

And before Zonko and Goobo’s very eyes

A thousand or more edible ghosts began to rise!

Tiny marshmallow treats and tasty sweets

Multicolored vittles, wonderful EATS

And Zonko so pleased, he and Goobo shook hands

Time to shoot off the fireworks and strike up the bands

But there was still one lingering question on Zonko’s mind

He needed a name for his cereal, something one of a kind

Finally, it came to him, when he least expected it

Zonko just settled on the name Delectaghosts, it was the perfect fit!

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #330

"Karla and Ever on the Server, Yaunfen is Heavy, A Joyful Announcement”

[Doc] Over the chat- CollaredEverestCat?  Wait? Did someone let Arden's friend in?

[Lie] - Yes?

[Doc] And someone else too?

[Lie] - ...  Yes?

[Doc] .... Why?

[Lie] - Weeeeeeell...

[Doc] I'm coming over there.

[Karla] Is streching a bit- Zhat vas fun.

[Lie] - No mentioning the baby please.  I think CP's father and brother have a right to know first

[CP] Content noise-

[Ever] Is holding his new tail and rubbing the fur curiously - Right! Not a peep.

[Doc] Walks up [in hir human shape] with Yaunfen trotting along behind hir. - Soooo? Why the sudden company?

[Deer] Is following as well with a miffed look-

[CP] - Stuff happened

[Karla] Our house was attacked and it caught on fire. Lie and Cp graciously offered us sanctuary from the wilderness.

[Doc] That was... nice...

[Yaunfen] That's a big shiny, glowy thing you have.

[Karla] rubs the gun barrel slightly and it makes a chattering zoop zoop noise. - thank you.

[Deer] - WHY DID YOU NEED SO MANY OPENINGS!?

[Lie] - Sorry Deer, there were animals and plants to move around all at the same time

[Ever] We brought a tree with us... - gestures vaguely in it's general direction. It seems well satisfied with where it is.

[Deer] - That's a bit odd looking...

[Karla] Ah, but the fruits it bears are beyond priceless.

[Ever] It also kinda punted us out of the burning house...

[Doc] Weird. Wait! Is that the Death tree?!??

[Yaunfen] I think it's kinda cool!

[Lie] - Yes?

[Deer] Glares at the gun- I see that thing is back...

[Karla] Holds it a bit protectively.

[Doc] Yeees... that....

[Karla] It saved me from a very old foe.

[Doc] At the tree-  Is it safe?

[Ever] It's never moved before today...

[Deer] - I'd rather not have the gun here...

[Karla] I won't throw it away. Besides, I have no ammunition for it anymore.

[Wunderwaffe] Soft cooing crackle.

[Deer] - If you say so...

[Doc] It did seem weirdly alive when I handled it too, but not nearly this much.

[Karla] Looks a bit smug.

[Doc] I smell blood....

[CP] - Yup

[Yaunfen] Big fire has blood on him mada.

[Doc] Cp, what did you do?

[CP] - What do you think?

[Doc] Murder and mayhem....

[Karla] They deserved it.

[Ever] Mistress?

[Lie] Just sighs-

[Ever] Makes a very similar noise as Lie almost at the same time-

[Doc] So... does this mean you have houseguests for a change Cp?

[CP] Shrugs-

[Ever] Blinks and you can almost see the light bulb over his head- I can build a house....

[Doc] Well this IS Minecraft...

[Ever] I CAN BUILD A HOUSE.

[Karla] I think you should rest first my pet.

[Deer] - I think Lie has plenty of spare beds still after the mobs stayed in there

[Yaunfen] At Ever- You have kitty ears!

[Ever] I KNOW. IT'S SO COOL. I don't even know why!

[Lie] - Ah, right.  When somebody is dragged in, if they have an avatar they shift to look like their avatar, sorry, I should have warned you about that

[Ever] Warned me? It's awesome! I've always wanted.... anyway! It's okay Lie.

[Lie] - Alright, well I'm going to check on my animals

[Ever] I'll help!

[Yaunfen] Makes a tight turn around Doc and Deerheart, playfully squishing them together- Hehe!

[Doc] Oof!

[Lie] Leads Ever off towards all the pens- CP, I expect you to not be covered in blood by the time we're back

[CP] - Yeah yeah

[Karla] I suppose I'll go unpack a little?

[Wunderwaffe] makes a happy noise like a fuse blowing out

[Lie] Calls back- The house is unlocked, if you want to lay down for now you can use one of the beds in our room

[CP] Takes to floating in the air- I need to speak with Splender real quick, I'll be back- He then flies off

[Yaunfen] Nudges Deerheart- Play with me?

[Doc] Awww. Well, we did spend the whole morning together already...

[Deer] - Sure, what do you wanna play?

[Yaunfen] I want to show you the seed mada set up for me!

[Deer] - Sure, let's go on down to the cage

[Doc] You two have fun, I'll meet you back at home.

[Ever] Ummm.... Doc? Right?

[Doc] Yes?

[Ever] Can I... have a spot to work in? I don't want to get in anyones space gathering materials. But I REALLY want to build a house. Where can I go that I'm not in anyones territory?

[Doc] Oh, sure! I'll help you find a spot and at least mark it before dark.

[Yaunfen] Follows Deerheart and transforms so they can go down the passageway into the cage. As they get close the black  tree seems to lean slightly toward Deerheart, it's white fruits swaying a little.

[Deer] Gives it a suspicious look and makes sure she stays between it and Yaunfen-

[Tree] Happy rustling-

[Yaunfen] It's kinda glowy mama...

[Deer] - I can see that, come on, let's go see the new seed

[Yaunfen] Follows happily. For some reason some of their footsteps seem heavier then others, as if they're walking two footed but in an odd way.

[Deer] - Yaunfen?  Are you okay?

[Yaunfen] Yes? Just walking.

[Deer] - Alright- She opens the cage door and greets the offensive pod before approaching the servers

[Yaunfen] Runs in and there are suddenly cracks under some of the places where they stepped. [Like when you start to mine a block and then stop]

[Deer] - Ummm...

[Yaunfen] Is waiting by the consoles- Lets go!

[Deer] Creates the opening and walks them through- Well this seems perfectly suited for you Yaunfen

[Yaunfen] Changes back into their dragon shape and runs out into the sugary landscape. They do a tight turn and slip as some blocks shatter away underfoot like a creative break- Wh-WHOAH! Oof!

[Deer] - Yaunfen!- She rushes to her childs side to check on them

[Yaunfen] Is getting up to all fours again. - I got heavy...

[Deer] - I can tell, are you okay?

[Yaunfen] Yeah.... I just feel like that sometimes. Just heavy. Is that... okay?

[Deer] - Absolutely, just be careful when you do, you might hurt yourself otherwise

[Yaunfen] Why does that happen mama?

[Deer] - I don't know..  But maybe...  Well maybe you have a super power

[Yaunfen] REALLY? Like mada and Big fire?

[Deer] - Yes!

[Yaunfen] But how does being heavy help? Ummm... I bet I can be so heavy you can't move me! You try!

[Deer] - Okay, but I won't make it easy!- She shifts to her dragon form

[Yaunfen] Gets in a square stance and screws up their eyes concentrating - Mmm... Ready!

[Deer] Starts pushing against them-

[Yaunfen] Does move sideways but their feet don't go far, it's like trying to move a cat. They're sloooowly scooting. Wiggling their whiskers in concentration-

[Deer] - Come on Yaunfen, you can do it!

[Lie] Goes back inside after checking on her animals, she's decided to grab some food from the food chest and Hope is rubbing around her legs as she digs for food- Calm down Hope, I'll find a treat for you

[Karla] Is sorting through her pile of stuff, it's rather spread out on the floor and surrounding furniture.

[Lie] Hears the noise below and heads down the stairs a bit- Everything okay Karla?

[Karla] Just... adjusting. This place is very strange. - She's looking down and gets distracted seeing her own hands for a moment.

[Lie] - Doc made the same comments going the other way around.  I at least was initially pulled into a server where everything was more realistic

[Karla] I don't know much about... video games. Is there anything important I should be aware of?

[Francis] Comes inside with an armload of carrots-

[Karla] Just stops mid-sentance and stares at the hugely muscled pigman.

[Francis] Says - hello? - tentatively- I'm sorry Lie, I didn't realize you had company.

[Karla] Ummmm

[Lie] - It's alright Francis, this is Karla.  She and Ever will be staying here for a little while- She then turns towards Karla- Karla, this is Francis, one of the pigmen under my husbands command.  There's a lot of mobs that are around our house which obey my husband and I, they won't harm you.  Wild mobs might though

[Francis] Does a little bow and a carrot slips out of his arms to plunk on the floor- Whoops. Okay miss Lie.

[Karla] How can I tell the difference?

[Lie] - Most of the ones that won't harm you will be wearing an article of clothing

[Karla] Ah, that's easy enough. Do we have guns for the rest?

[Francis] Scoops up the errant carrot- Whats a gun?

[Lie] - No, there are no guns on this server.  We have swords, bows, and natural abilities.  And Francis, a gun is a type of weapon

[Karla] Glances at the wunderwaffe on the bed - Is that why the lady with the horns seemed distressed?

[Francis] Ah, okay. Where would you like these Lie? I accidently trod on them and they popped up.

[Lie] - Partially, there was also the fact that we had three portals open into the server almost simultaneously

[Lie] - Did you replant Francis?

[Francis] Oh yes! Of course. They were ready to pick anyway.

[Lie] - Then you can find either a spare trunk or distribute them amongst yourself and the others.  And Karla, that woman was Deer, she's the physical embodiment of this server

[Karla] An apt name considering her features. So she's a nature spirit of sorts?

[Francis] Thank you Lie, we had lunch togeather not long ago. Well except for the blazes. I'm not sure what they eat. - He goes to put the carrots in a nearby trunk and drops another one since his arms are so full.

[Karla] Reaches down to pick it up and inspects it. - Are they for decoration or...?

[Lie] - That's just a carrot Karla, it's food.  And yes, I suppose you could say she's a nature spirit.  I suppose that would make Flux a magic spirit

[Karla] Makes an attempt to bite on it and the usual eating noise is a bit startling. - That's odd. But flavorful. Who is this Flux?

[Francis] Is looking at the wunderwaffe and it makes an electrical crackling noise. - That thing is a bit frightening. It seems alive...

[Banette] Has crawled onto one of Karla's bags and gone to sleep.

[Lie] - The physical embodiment of CP's original server.  She embodies the raw magic of this game.  Dawn actually had to work on her to keep her from tainting everything and she actually lives next door with CP's father.  He's completely smitten with her.  And it's alright Francis, it doesn't have any...  arrows left

[Hope] Comes down the stairs mewing-

[Francis] Stoops down to pet the cat with one huge finger-

[Hope] Purrs a bit loudly-

[Karla] She's such a tiny little thing. She must think you're her mommy when you're transfigured. Haha.

[Lie] - Funny story actually...

[Karla] Do tell.

[Francis] Floppy ear twich as he listens too.

[Lie] - It couldn't have been that long after I gained my feline form...  CP was being punished and so was a cat too.  I decided to pounce him and then Alexsezia came by with her usual herd of cats.  At that time Hope here was a very tiny kitten and she came over and decided to snuggle up against me.  At this time I didn't have any ovaries and Hope decided to try and nurse from me.  It caused my ovaries to regrow and a very messy procedure afterwards since my husband then decided to give Doc blood poisoning

[Francis] And you bonded with the little one... awwww.

[Karla] I take it Cp and this Doc have a lot of history? It seems they fight a lot...

[Lie] - Oh yes, a long history.  Only reason they met was because of me though

[Karla] I've been given the barest details of your now husbands murderous bet.

[Lie] - Yeah, I stood out to Doc because a living human shouldn't be in a digital realm.  If they hadn't come along I'm not sure what might have happened...

[Karla] Fate plays games with us all. Not much point in dwelling on what could have been.

[Francis] Rubs Hopes chin a little. lost in his own thoughts.

[Lie] - Yeah...  I should probably do one last check on the animals and let Notch know we're back... And figure out where CN is...

[Karla] I thought Notch was the one your mate wanted to murder horribly?

[Francis] I saw Cn yesterday....

[Lie] - There's multiple NOTCH's, the one I'm talking about is the one who created the game and who has adopted CP and his brother as his own sons.  Where did you see him Francis?

[Francis] He was helping Notch take care of the animals miss. They both gave Cp an earful for jetting off suddenly and not telling anyone.

[Karla] That's gracious of him.

[Lie] - Thank you Francis.  Would you like to meet him Karla?  I'm going that way anyways and it's just next door

[Francis] Nods appreciately-

[Karla] That would be nice, I should thank him for allowing me to escape from the delightful mayhem your husband and I perpetrated.

[Lie] - Come on then, we'll want to go before it gets dark

[Chester] Is on the other side of the door when Lie opens it-

[Karla] Skips backward from the dog-sized spider-

[Lie] - Oh Chester, hello.  Can I help you with something?

[Karla] Their name is Chester?

[Chester] Well... um...- He's rubbing his front feet together nervously-

[Lie] - Yes, he's a newer addition to the mobs under my mates command.  It's alright Chester, you can speak freely

[Chester] I was wondering... if you're not too busy.... maybe a little favor...? If you're busy I'll go away...

[Karla] Gives him a calculating look. - Are they poisonus or something similar as well?

[Lie] - Yes, they are...- Is remembering when she was bit by one not long after CP first brought her in- What do you want Chester?

[Chester] Could I have some flowers? Please? Something pretty. -He'd blush if he could- They're for Eliza...

[Karla] That could be handy.

[Lie] - Absolutely, anything specific?

[Chester] Just something she might like?

[Lie] Thinks for a moment before concentrating, creating a bundle of dark colored flowers- Here, let me know how it goes, alright?

[Chester] Oh thank you! - He takes the flowers in one leg and holds the bundle against his neck. - I absolutley will! - He goes off at a happy running hop back toards the nest.

[Karla] He wanted... flowers?

[Lie] - He's trying to woo the spider general

[Karla] Eyes go wide for a moment - Then I wish him all the luck in the world. I think that could go quite poorly if she's not interested. Female spiders are usually bigger, aren't they?

[Lie] - There are two types of spiders here, regular spiders and cave spiders, which are the smaller ones.  Chester is a cave spider

[Karla] You have a wonderfully lively household Lie.

[Lie] - This is actually pretty calm really- She heads down the stairs and across the courtyard towards Notch's house

[Notch] Is looking at his phone and giggling impishly. The door to his house is open and he's sitting just inside the door with his feet up.

[Lie] - Notch, we're back

[Notch] Looks up- Oh! Hey that's great. Cp said you weren't feeling too good. I take it that you're all healed up? Who's your friend?

[Lie] - Yeah, actually, think you might be up for dinner tonight?  We could invite Stevie and Alexis as well.  And this is Karla

[Notch] Of course! And nice to meet you Karla. I'm Markus. Mostly everyone just calls me Notch though.

[Karla] Doctor Karla Emmerich. I've been told you're at least mostly responsible for the beauty around us?

[Notch] Blushes- Oh, well I had help... but it was my idea to start with.

[Lie] - Do you know where CN currently is?

[Notch] Oh he's downstairs tidying up in the bathroom. He got a bit dirty playing around with your animals. The dogs decided to mob him for snuggling purposes.

[Lie] - I see, does he still have the tail or has he figured out how to get rid of it?

[Notch] No he still has it. I think it's kinda cute really. Him and Firebird make quite the pair.

[Karla] Wait, are we talking about a child or another of your mob creatures?

[Lie] - My NOTCH, he is a child though so you weren't too far off

[Karla] Grins - If he was knocked over by dogs I guessed he was either young or short.

[Notch] Very perceptive.

-There's a bit of shuffling from downstairs-

[Lie] - I think that's him

[Karla] So what were you laughing at?

[Notch] Oh that... one of my former coworkers likes to send me funny videos. Mostly stuff with animals.

[Lie] - Oh?  What specifically was it?

[Notch] Shows her his phone and it's only a few seconds of a small black cat letting off a fart that makes it's butt pop up into the air.

[Karla] Lets off a small musical laugh-

[Lie] Laughs as well- That is adorable

[CN] Climbs up the ladder and his face lights up at seeing Lie- Lie!- He races over and hugs her

[Lie] - Hey CN, sorry I was gone for so long- She hugs him back

[Karla] Ah, how sweet. Is he... yours?

[Lie] - He's a NOTCH which was spawned in response to me becoming a brine, so yes, you could say he is mine

[Notch] Cn? This is Karla. She's a doctor and one of Lie's friends.

[CN] Hides behind Lie a little-

[Lie] - He's always a bit shy at first, but determined to be a little defender

[Karla] An admirable trait for a young man.

[Notch] NOTCH AI's are supposed to be there for their Herobrines, I'm just glad he's inclined to be helpful.

[Lie] - But he's also still learning

[Flux] Enters the room from the bedroom-

[Karla] Looks towards her, she's juuust psychic enough to pick up on her magick.

[Notch] Karla, this is my girlfriend Flux. - Makes sappy eyes at her without meaning too-

[Flux] Gives Notch a small smile in return before looking at Karla- Greetings

[Karla] Ah, the spirit you mentioned? Charmed to meet you.

[Flux] - You left so suddenly Lie, is everything alright?

[Lie] - Of course, there's no need to worry

[Karla] Has the smallest of knowing smiles on her face.

[Lie] Glances outside- Well, we should start getting ready for dinner, I'll see you guys in about an hour or so?

[Karla] I think I'm going to go check on Ever, don't fret about us. It can be a... family affair. - She gives an airy wave and walks back around the side of the house -

[Notch] Eyebrows- What an odd person....

[Lie] -Yeah, well, I'll see you guys in a bit, CN, why don't you go put on some fresh clothes, okay?

[CN] - Fine...

[Lie] Waves goodbye before heading for Stevie's place.  As she goes she sends a mental note to CP to get Hera and GK, figuring their best friends should be told as well-

[CP] Had just finished with Splender and groans as he heads for the bay to find Hera-

[Herabrine] Has already noticed CP when he went to talk to Splender and is trying to rouse Aqua for a tandem squirt on the unsuspecting brine.

[Aqua] Wiggles excitedly-

[Herabrine] Leads him up near the shore and stays a bit underwater to track Cp-

[CP] Is looking around for Hera with a scowl- Hera!

[Herabrine] Motions for Aqua at just the right moment and pops up to squirt him with a skinny jet of hot water-

[Aqua] Happily sprays the water-

[CP] Curses and catches on fire- Damnit Hera!

[Herabrine] Does a graceful dolphin flip and plunks back into the water, giggling madly-

[CP] - Fine, guess I won't give you Lie's invitation

[Herabrine] Brushes up against Aqua so they feel like they did a good job and then floats to the surface, staring at Cp- Glub.

[CP] - You'll need to be in your other form

[Aqua] Happy trills-

[Herabrine] Floats up above the water like a soap bubble and shifts into her nornal shape - You were saying?

[CP] - Lie wants you to come over for dinner

[Herabrine] Ah! Okay. That sounds nice. Should I bring anything?

[CP] - No.  Do you know where GK is?

[Herabrine] Probably either with Endrea or annoying Steffan.

[CP] Groans and just flies towards GK's place to see if he's there-

[Gk] Is asleep and snoring loudly in a place that's entirely blocking Steffans front door-

[CP] Dips lower and nudges the dragon- Oi, wake up

[Gk] Opens an eye- Heeeey. What's up Cp?

[CP] - You want free food?

[Gk] Fuck yeah.

[CP] - Then let's go, you'll need to be human though- He starts flying for his place

[Gk] Shrugs and follows as a dragon because it's a quicker walk that way.

[Lie] Is already back with Stevie and Alexis and the two are prepping food-

[CP] Lands and walks in- I'm back

[Lie] - Why are you still covered in blood?

[CP] - I didn't have time to change?

[Lie] - Then go change now!

[Gk] Hunkers down outside and Herabrine lands on his head-

[Hera] Hey big red, what's thegood news?

[Gk] Apart from free dinner? No idea.

[Lie] - Come on in you two, we're just waiting on Notch and Flux and for the food to finish

[Notch] Graciously opens the front door for Flux on the opposite side.

[Gk] Shifts under Herabrine so she'll flop on the ground -

[Herabrine] Hey!

[Lie] Laughs a little-

[CP] Returns in a fresh shirt-

[Flux] Enters and smiles- It smells good Lie

[Notch] I second that.

[Gk] Man.... this looks fancy. I should have brought wine or something...

[Stevie] Pulls out a large plate of steaks- Come on, let's eat!

[Herabrine] So what's all this about? Just felt like a family dinner?

[Gk] Niiice. Thanks for the invite Cp!

[Lie] Glances at CP- Actually...  CP and I have some news...

[Notch] Nothing bad I hope?

[Lie] - No, it's good...  Very good

[Stevie] Sits down next to Alexis- Does this have something to do with why you two have been gone for so long?

[CP] - Yeah...  It does

[Herabrine] Yeah, we got a lot of traffic today. I saw, new people too?

[Lie] - Some friends, they housed us while we were out there this time...  And now we're housing them since their house got destroyed

[Gk] Sounds like a bit of griefing happened.

[Notch] So what's the news???

[Lie] Looks at CP nervously and he comes over to her to give her reassurance- Well...  Um...  You see...

[Herabrine] Well?

[Notch] Holds Flux's hand nervously.

[Lie] - Uh...- She takes a deep breath- I'm...  I'm pregnant...  We're now expecting a baby...

[Flux] - You...  What?

[Notch] I'm gonna be a grandpa?!?!?

[Herabrine] OMG.

[Gk] The child of two brines... holy shit....

[Alexis] - Congratulations!

[Stevie] - You two will be good parents if my brother's ability to raise me as a child is any indication

[Notch] Well they're gonna have help too!

[Herabrine] No way we're not babysitting and such!

[Lie] Laughs a little-

[CP] - The reason we were out so long was because Lie didn't know when she went out and the baby then decided to start adapting a physical form

[Gk] So it's already going to be able to go... out there...?

[Notch] Well that will save some pain and effort.

[Herabrine] But it also means they'll have to be kept away from Slender....

[Lie] - Yeah, our baby will be able to go out there...

[CP] Growls a little at the thought of Slender getting near their baby-

[Flux] - Where ever the child goes, it will be well protected

[Gk] Hey... Can I be the godfather?

[Lie] - Oh, um... I don't see why not...

[CP] - You want to take care of the kid if Lie and I are ever permanently deleted?

[Gk] Hell yeah. What better guardian can a kid ask for then a giant dragon that's willing to barbecue anyone who might harm them?

[Lie] - You have a point...

[Herabrine] He is good with Endreas kids...

[Alexis] - Hey... Why aren't Doc or TLOT here?

[Notch] Yeah... I'd think you'd want them to know...

[Lie] - I figured you guys had a right to know first since you are our family and best friends

[Gk] Wipes a little tear- aww Lie...

[Notch] That's sweet.

[Herabrine] Huge smile-

[CP] - Now can most of you get out?

[Lie] - CP!