#friday night stabby quotes

[dadokid]

FNS - Incorrect quotes PT.1

(made with the help of a generator)

Mrs Tango : You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Endless: What changed your mind?

Mrs Tango : Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

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Endless: Mrs Tango , Tango, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?

Mrs Tango , trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Tango is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.

Tango: I love you too :)

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Skizz : Hey, you want a tarot reading?

Impulse: Those are Pokemon cards.

Skizz : You got a magikarp.

Impulse: ...

Skizz : It means 'fuck you'.

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Endless: Joker's refusing to wear his glasses!

Joker: Endless, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Joker: *points to Impulse* Impulse.

Joker: *points to Tango * Tango .

Joker: *points to Mrs Tango * Sasquatch.

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Mrs Tango , setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Evil, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

Astro, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Brody, trembling: What are we playing?!

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Evil: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Etho: I don't know how to do that.

Endless: I don't wear a watch.

Joker: Time is a construct.

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Skizz: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*

Astro: …

Skizz: …I get confused sometimes.

Astro: Me too.

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Etho: Your smile looks forced.

Endless: That’s because it is.

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Skizz : I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Brody, rushing in: Skizz ! Impulse tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

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This is the first part of many.. oh this will be something. Yall can thank Puff for this btw.

[piscoyt]

"Brody is supposed to be white!" - TheEndless 2022

[epicfranb]

@cactusringed: Can I ask u 18 21 and 22 👉👈

18. Have you got a favorite quote from a CC ?

I have a note full of funny quotes so lemme look

I really love the crazy comparisons that Zedaph makes, like in these quotes:

Zedaph: What is this noise? Sounds like a pterodactyl giving birth! (S9 e14)

Zedaph: *going to the nether* we're probably going to be in like an upside down flamingo stomach (Tango Create s2, 2)

One of my all time favorite ethubs quotes:

Bdubs: What, I can't compliment a teammate?!

Etho: You can, but you have to compliment me first :( (Etho s5 e2 10:50)

But №1 Place 🥇 Goes to Pause:

Pause: i used to love twerking, but now that it's my job, i hate it (sky factory e4)

21. Is there a song / playlist you associate with a certain CC ?

Difficult question >.< I have songs i associate, i have a playlist for 1 au, but i feel like. It's a whole different conversation of its own xD

Interestingly, in Hermitcraft and Traffic, i haven't had that many song associations. I've had a ton in DSMP. Maybe it's cuz hc and traffic don't have that strong of a central plot and way more is up for interpretation? Idk.

22. What is/was your fave event ?

Hmmm idk... xD there was a couple of Twitch Rivals and MCC's that i liked, I've watched a few Minecraft Mondays. Fave MCC's is a topic of its own so i won't get into that... I liked the Hermitcraft charity event, the Empires crossover was super fun to see the differences in how those people play, Blood on the Clocktower is super fun and I'd like to see at least one more game being played? And i count Friday Night Stabbies as an events. Lol.

Ask me stuff

[meteormoss]

Ok, i know this isn't a life series quote, but i was just wetching a friday night stabby vod (astros pov) today and theres an etho quote that stood out to me.

Tango: Your a lover!

Etho: I'm a protector.

He said it adamantly, full confidence. I think that's worth something. But he never really denied being a lover, i just dont think he sees himself as one. But yeah. Take it as you will.

etho saying to grian "i think im gonna let you guys succeed this cause... it's you and cleo". even out of their presence, he defended them, insisted that his death wasn't grian's fault, told the other's pointblank he wouldn't kill cleo or grian.

he covered for both of them several times over, not only to his own detriment, but to the detriment of the entire server. because of etho, everyone failed. he would choose his teammates over anyone and anything, even the good of the many, even himself

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 25 (02/07/21)

Skizz is missing from this session so he was replaced by PearlescentMoon.

…

*Etho and Tango are accusing each other of murdering Impulse* Brody: I’m voting for Endless. Endless: That seems legit.

...

Brody, dead: Remember when we were alive? Joker, dead: Yeah… Tango, dead: Good times.

...

Pearl: I happen to have killed Impulse twice in a row now. Impulse: Yeah, she’s so mad about Timmy. Pearl: Yeah, poor Timmy fell into the void- Tango: What?! Impulse: Nothing nothing nothing nothing starting! Don’t worry about it! STARTING!!! Evil, to Tango: You really should watch the other Hermit videos. Impulse: I forgot he was still here.

...

*the game has bugged and made Astro slow without being giant* Brody: Mrs Tango and Astro, do you guys feel bad at all? Cuz we were just talking about Astro being a giant and I’m pretty sure Tango just like died right there and I didn’t see anyone come in here. Astro: There were more important things to worry about than Tango. Evil: Wow… Astro: I took all of the steroids and everything, and all I got was up to normal size. I’m very offended by this game right now.

...

Evil: *calls emergency meeting* Evil: Hi! Brody: What’s up? Evil: I just wanted to say that I was done with my tasks and, you know, use the meta of resetting the cooldown by calling a meeting and telling you all I love you. Impulse: Smart. Etho and Mrs Tango: Aww! Brody, whispering: I hate you. *pause* Evil: Except that Brody guy. He’s kind of a jerk. Brody: I hate you!

...

Impulse: *calls emergency meeting* Impulse: Announcement! Announcement! Impulse, with the announcer voice modifier: I have an announcement to make! I am done with my tasks! *they proceed to vote Impulse out*

...

*some people start chanting “MVP! MVP!” at Joker for finishing his tasks* Endless: B-L-T! B-L-T! Evil: Look what Timmy [the pig] turned into. Impulse: Uh oh. Ouch. Too soon, Evil! Too soon! Don’t tell Tango, I don’t think he knows! Tango, deadpan: Yeah I don’t know anything about anything like that.

...

Impulse: So last round I got thrown out for hitting the button. This round, I’m Button Barry. THAT’s not good…

...

*after Impulse gets kicked and Astro automatically becomes host* Impulse: This is Astro’s lobby, everybody listen to Astro’s rules or ejection into space. Astro: Um… no making fun of people for being short. Impulse: Alright shorty, that’s enough rules for me.

...

Impulse: Watch me scan. *hops on the scanner* Alright, got it? Now watch me nae nae. Joker: Oh GOD. I’m outta here. Shut up. Impulse: *laughs* Joker: If I could kill you right now, I would.

...

Astro: Impulse, I have to know. What was the joke that I killed you for? Impulse: Oh, I said “watch me scan”, then I got on and I said “now watch me nae nae”. Astro: Yeah, you deserved to die.

...

Tango: Hey guys, I’m going up to O2 here. Just letting you know. *pause* Joker: Did you hear something? Impulse: I dunno, Tango-. He always talks. I dunno what that was about.

...

Joker: Yeaaah, but you are kind of weird, though. Endless: Just for that, I’m not gonna do any more tasks. Joker, laughing: Yes you are. *long pause* Endless: You’re right. Joker: I know. Endless: I’ll see you later. Joker: See you, buddy.

...

*Pearl wins as jester because nobody believed Impulse when he said it was Evil* Impulse, with the announcer voice modifier: Attention attention! I am playing with a shipful of idiots!

...

*after dying early* Impulse: I was looking forward to being Brody’s lover :( *pause* Impulse: That sounds bad.

...

Impulse: They’re just mad cuz I’m fast, that’s all. They jelly. They all jelly cuz I can get my tasks done like a boss. Joker: Who ARE you?! Impulse: *laughs* Joker: I’m hip with what the new kids say. Astro: I’m… going over here now. Joker: What the new kids say nowadays. Impulse: Oh dude! Got my wires straight right away, poggers! Joker: Poggers?! Impulse: That was lit. Joker: Shut up!

...

Astro: All I’m gonna say, judging by the level of tasks that are completing, people are not killing very well, and I’m actually done with my tasks before the first meeting even got called. Endless: You’re awfully judgy, Astro. Tango: Wooow, look at you. Joker: That’s harsh. Evil: Okay, Judgy McJudgerson. Impulse: Way to make the imposters cry themselves to sleep tonight. Jeez. Astro: There’s only two people I’m judging here and that’s the imposters. Step up your game.

...

Evil: Mrs T, I love you. You’re amazing, you know that? Mrs Tango: Aww…! I love you too. Evil: Obviously, you follow me on twitter.

...

*Impulse caught Etho dancing around a body* Etho, giggling: So here’s what happened. Impulse came out of O2 and he was like “Etho, don’t go in there”. Impulse: *bursts out laughing* Etho: And I was like- I’m gonna go in there, right? And he’s like “no, Etho, don’t go in there”. Tango: I- Okay. Etho: And then he closes the door on me. Tango: I think we can establish that Etho is the jester now, right? Okay. Etho: And I open the door, and then I go and I check and there’s a dead Joker. Tango: This is- Etho, stick to solving crimes, man.

...

(the same round) *Etho caught Tango and Endless killing* Etho, laughing: So Endless- He was like “Etho, don’t go in there”. *everyone laughs* Etho: And I was like “make me”. And he couldn’t, he couldn’t stop me. Endless: 100% not Etho. Etho: And then I caught Tango, and Tango was also like “Etho, don’t go in there”. Tango: Alright. Etho: So they’re the double killers; it wasn’t me. Tango: I am so confused right now!

...

*that same meeting, votes are revealed as being tied between Impulse and skipping* Impulse: WHAT?! Evil: What the-?! How did it land on Impulse?! Impulse, with the announcer voice modifier: Four of you are idiots.

...

(the same round) Etho: *calls emergency meeting* Endless: For god’s sake, Etho! Etho: Hey everybody :D *pause* Etho: Okay, so, Impulse and Pearl just went to specimen together and Impulse killed Pearl without any hesitation. Pearl: What do you mean? Endless: Pearl’s not dead! Pearl: I’m still alive! Tango: Oh my gosh. Evil: Etho! Why are you doing this?! Etho: Vote Impulse. Tango: Has he been drinking?!

...

*the same meeting, the votes are tied between Tango and Impulse* Tango: OH my GOSH! Evil: Oh my god! Impulse, with the announcer voice modifier: Three of you are idiots. Endless: Well, you convinced one of them, Impulse. Brody: Pearl, aren’t you happy you joined us for this nonsense?

...

(that same round) *Etho’s body is reported* Evil: The Endless had had enough of Etho’s… stuff and cut him in half right in front of me. Endless: Let’s discuss this, Evil. *pause* Endless: We both know it was Impulse.

...

(later in the same meeting) Impulse: Let me explain, Endless. The better play would’ve been to say you were sheriff and you picked up on the fact that Etho was trying to overplay jester but he was actually covering up for the fact that he was imposter. But now that you haven’t done that- Endless: Don’t tell me how to play this game, Impulse. Astro was clearly morphed as me. Impulse: Oooookay. Astro: Where did I come into this conversation?!

...

(after the round) Astro: So Impulse, you kept saying there were four idiots. There wasn’t, there was just one idiot. Evil: *laughs* Astro: An idiot who voted for you every round. Impulse: What?! Astro: I used my mayor votes on you and I was committed at that point.

[darkleweather]

Friday Night Stabby, 10/1/2021

Pearl: "Oh, that's a dead body, we'll just...leave that there." Tango: "HEY! That's my dead body! You report that!"

[redwinterroses]

finished that fic just in time for Friday Night Stabby Stabby so yeah -- hi imma be prolly posting quotes from it all night.

[dadokid]

FNS - Incorrect quotes PT.2

with the help of a generator, some contributed by my friend @dragonpuff17 :]

Endless: Are we really going to let Astro keep Joker?

Impulse: We kept Brody.

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Tango: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Mrs Tango a little bit.

Brody, holding Tango's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Tango: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Brody: My mistake.

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Astro: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Astro is such a nice person, Astro is so happy-go-lucky! Astro can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Astro CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Astro IS be in a bad mood.

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Skizz, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?

Astro: The car takes a screenshot.

Evil : Please pull over. I’m driving now.

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Endless: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

Endless: *sees Astro shoving Evil into the washing machine while Skizz records and Tango watches*

Endless: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

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Astro: Guess what?

Brody: What?

Astro: No, you have to guess.

Brody, thinking: I don’t know.

Astro: Etho is in the hospital.

Brody: Why would you make me guess that?!

Brody: What happened?!

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Evil: Tango gave me a get better soon card.

Endless: That's sweet!

Evil: I wasn't sick, they just think I can do better.

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Joker: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

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Astro: People always shoot down my ideas, and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

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Joker: Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the scorpion cage. I wanna see what a hamster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck."

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Skizz: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Skizz, gesturing to Evil and Tango fighting: And yet *these* idiots do it daily, and for free!

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Tango: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Brody: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

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Endless: When Evil was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world."

Skizz: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

[piscoyt]

YOU LEFT ME! you said you wouldn't leave me and your left me straight away!!! 💔

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 16 (19/03/21)

Evil: I’m just gonna vote for The Endless now, cuz he was standing over the body. Endless: For the record, it’s ‘r’ to report, not ‘e’. ‘E’ apparently opens the vent…

...

*Etho moves weirdly over to Impulse* Impulse: Ohhh, did you just get a sample of the banana? Tango: *bursts out laughing* Evil: Who do you think just got a sample of you? Impulse: Etho just did a little round-a-rosey on me. Tango: WHAT did I just walk into?! Impulse: *laughs* Tango: Is this what happens on proximity chat when I’m not around?! Impulse: Yeah. Brody: OH yeah. Impulse: Etho was just getting a taste.

...

*Astro being ejected* Skizz: Walk the plank, Astro! Astro: Oh, I will. Skizz: But if he’s innocent then I’m gonna feel bad… Astro: No, I’m just a really terrible killer, that’s all.

...

Joker, to Impulse: You know, it’s a good thing you came and did this one, because I would’ve thought you were sus. But you did- Impulse: *kills Joker* Joker, echoey ghost voice: -that one because- AW, C’MON!!!

...

Joker: I’m a crewmate, man. I’m nobody. I’m nobody. I’m not important. Endless: You’re important to me. Joker: Aww, thanks, buddy. Endless: You’re not really, I was just saying that.

...

Skizz, running away from Impulse and Joker: IT’S MR BANANA AND THE CLOWN!!!

...

Mrs Tango, out of nowhere: I’m gonna vote for Endless. Endless: Why?! Impulse: Cuz it’s a fun thing to do. Tango: Cuz it makes him mad.

...

Etho: Somebody would have to have lied. Tango: Wait, wait, someone LIED?! In AMONG US?!

...

*Tango is being voted out solely on Skizz's information* Brody: Tango, if it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t paying attention and I didn’t vote for you. Tango: That’s cool. I feel better. Skizz: It’ll keep you warm out in space. *Tango is ejected* Skizz: Okay, I really… I kinda took a stab there, I hope I’m right. Impulse: Oh, Skizz! SKIZZ! Brody: Wait hold on, you TOOK A STAB?!

...

Brody: I’m done with my tasks. Impulse: *runs into security* Brody: Impulse is gonna come kill me. Impulse: Nope! *runs out* Impulse: *runs back into security* Brody: Impulse IS gonna come kill me. Impulse: *runs out and comes back in again* No, I’m- Brody: Okay, Impulse IS gonna come kill me. Impulse: *runs out again, laughing* Brody: Okay, bye!

...

Skizz: There’s no garbage on the ship because of me. You’re welcome. Brody: That’s not true; Endless is still here. Endless: *sigh* Brody: Did you see what I did there? Endless, I called you trash. Endless: I’m not talking to you anymore, Brody. You win. Brody: I called you trash. Endless: I’m not talking to you anymore tonight. Brody: You see what I did there? I said he hasn’t done trash cuz he hasn’t cleaned you up. Endless: Okay, can everybody leave for a second so I can kill Brody?

...

Endless: *returning from break late* Very very sorry, guys. Impulse: No worries, no worries. Evil: Were you saying goodnight to your daughter? Endless: No, my cat, actually. Evil: Oh, your CAT! Endless: My cat was- It’s hard to explain. Etho: Is your cat going on a business trip?

...

Impulse, going to electrical first: Okay, I haven’t done this in a while. Let’s do it. Let’s see if it still holds tru- Joker: *kills Impulse* Impulse: YEP!

...

Mrs Tango, after finding Impulse’s body: While I was doing wires in the hallway, Skizz and Impulse were together. Etho: *gasps dramatically* Skizz: You- You got it wrong. Tango: So I was in medbay and heard Impulse talking, so obviously can confirm he was there. I did not hear who he was talking to. Sounded casual, like, you know… *pointedly* Like how you’d talk to someone you’d known for 20 years.... Skizz: OKAY, enough outta you!

...

*Skizz is wrongly ejected for Impulse’s murder* Impulse: Skiiiizz…! Skizz: *sigh* Yeah? Impulse: Hoooow?! Skizz: That was just- That was Tango luck, dude. Impulse: Tell me you didn’t have a role. Skizz, sheepishly: Well, I'm… I'm- I’m… imposter. Impulse: *GASPS* Skizz: Yeah, it’s just bad luck.

...

Joker: *calls a meeting* Tango’s trying to kill me! Brody, disbelievingly: Okay. Tango: No he’s right, I am.

...

Joker: Anything I say doesn’t matter, does it? Skizz: THAT’s an understatement.

...

Tango: It’s Joker, Skizz, or Etho. That’s my guess. Joker: I just said it’s not you, Tango! Doesn’t that count for anything?! Endless: No.

...

*Skizz’s body is reported* Etho, sadly: Hey everybody. My partner in crime- My partner in crime is dead. In medbay. Tango: Awwww :( *pause* Etho: WHO DID IT? WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT?!

...

Tango: I left and went to pump the gas in storage and then came back to electrical cuz I’m like “I need a partner” and he’s dead, so… Endless: No, you left because you didn’t say hi and you came back to say hi. Tango: That was the time before, man. Endless: Was it? I don’t remember things.

...

*Mrs Tango was convinced the last imposter was Etho but it was Brody* Endless: MRS TANGO! You’re as dumb as I am! Evil: *bursts out laughing* Impulse: :O Etho: Ohooooo…! Endless: I HATE this game. Brody, laughing: That’s HURTFUL! Impulse: Aaaaaand this is the last Friday night Among Us, people! I hope you guys’ve been enjoying this!

...

Skizz: I don’t like it when I’m wrong. Impulse: Then don’t be wrong.

...

Brody: Etho? Etho? Impulse, running by: Ooh, hi, party. Etho: I’m AFK. I’m AFK. Brody: You’re not A-! Wha-? Impulse: I’ll protect him, I’ll protect him. Etho: Okay, I’m back. I’m back. Impulse: Aww okay, I was gonna protect you. Etho: I’m AFK again.

...

*after Joker sheriffed Tango but Skizz reported* Etho: Just one question, Joker. Why didn’t you report the body? Joker: I was gonna leave it, honestly. Etho: That’s kinda bad etiquette for the sheriff…

...

Impulse: How did nobody see that? Etho: I saw it. Impulse: Oh, you did? What happened? Etho: I’m gonna give that person a chance to defend themselves. *long pause* Etho: That never works, does it?

...

*after the game was lost because Joker deliberately didn’t finish his tasks* Joker, brightly: That was a good game, guys! Etho: I wish you’d been playing it, Joker.

...

Etho: Whoever the imposters are, they’re horrible at this. Brody: Wooow! Tango: OHOOOO! Called OUT! (Etho is later revealed as the imposter)

...

Skizz: So Etho, you were sheriff last time, right? Etho: Sheriff and shielded [by the medic]. Skizz: Yeah, I shielded you, dude! I picked the right person! Etho: I felt so powerful! *pause* Etho: ...until I killed myself.

...

Brody: Okay, people who say “gif”, left side of the map. People who say “jif”, right side of the map. Etho: It’s gife! (rhyming with strife) Joker: I actually like that. I’m gonna stick with that.

...

Etho: I am 100% the sheriff and I just saved everybody. I’m the hero. Ask my mom.

...

Evil: Brody, do you have a twinkie? Brody, with his mouth audibly full: Don’t worry about my life right now, okay?

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 23 (11/06/21)

Impulse is missing from this session so Astro’s wife Ursulala “Lala” filled in for him. i normally watch Impulse’s POV but for this stream, i watched Tango’s.

…

Endless: Alright guys, so I watched Evil kill Brody and then I started chasing Evil trying to report the body but that’s not how this game works. Evil, laughing: I can’t- I can’t even deny it!

...

*Astro has been caught killing with 4 people left* Lala: I don’t know who to vote for…! Etho: So… we’re gonna need you to turn on someone you care about right now. Lala: Oh, I don’t like that!

...

*silence as Tango does a task* Tango: This feels like a round where I’m gonna die early. Etho: *kills Tango*

...

Lala: The only person I saw at all in that direction was Joker so I’m voting for him, I don’t even care. Skizz: Alright! I like it! *votes* Etho: Whoa… Joker: What? Skizz: Wait… I dunno. I may have jumped the gun, there. I still got 3rd Life bloodlust on the brain.

...

Etho: Joker? Joker: What? Etho: Where were you? Joker: I dunno. Skizz: Joker, you are USELESS!

...

Etho: *reports a body* Etho: Well, well, well! Tango: Ooh…! Endless: Ooh…! *pause* Etho: ...I got nothing.

...

*Etho and Skizz are lovers, Etho is imposter with Tango, there are 4 people left alive* Etho: *calls emergency meeting* Etho: Okay, I think it’s pretty clear. It’s Tango. Joker: Yeah, he was the last person I heard [when Mrs Tango died]. Etho: Voting Tango. *votes* Skizz: *votes* Tango: No. Joker, listen. Joker, Joker- Joker: *votes* Tango: JOKER, you just blew it! *groans* Etho: *laughs* Tango: Joker, I’m gonna tell you the truth right now, cuz it’s all out there, okay? You just blew it, my friend. Etho: I got a pact with someone, Tango, I’m sorry. Tango: Etho and Skizz are lovers, alright? You just blew it. Skizz: We’re more than lovers, dude! Red Army forever!!! Tango: WRONG GAME, man! Wrong game, Red Army! Etho: You were- You were a Crastle people traitor. Skizz: *laughs hysterically* Tango: I shoulda killed Skizz when I had the chance, I woulda taken you both out, I would’ve won! I knew it was coming, Etho! It was just a matter of time! Etho and Skizz: *laugh* Skizz: 3rd Life lives on! Tango: I’m voting Joker cuz he smells. *votes are revealed, Tango is ejected* Skizz: Ah, Etho, you’re the best! Etho: That was beautiful. Tango: I waited too long, that was my fault. Joker: That was a no-win situation for me. Etho: You had no chance there, Joker. Joker: Yeah, I had no chance. Skizz: That was SO poetic!

...

Astro: Why is everybody killing Lala early? It’s very rude. Tango: Says Astro the killer. Astro: If I ever get a round of imposter, I’m gonna avenge every one of these deaths.

...

Tango: Joker and I were sharing sweet nothings over in nav and then in shields. Mrs Tango: Uhh… Tango: Oh yeah, you BET you wanna know ;)

...

Tango: Brody’s got me fooled. Brody: That’s not hard to do.

...

*after a stack kill* Evil: I saw Brody teleport to the body. Brody: I sure didn’t do that. Tango: Evil, are you voting for Brody? Evil: I did. Tango: Alright, I’ll do it. *votes* I’m afraid we’re gonna get jestered, but… Skizz: He voted for himself at the beginning, why would- *votes are revealed, Skizz is the only one who didn’t vote for Brody* Brody, being ejected: I’m so confused. Tango: Did he just win? Brody: I’m SO confused. Why did you guys just give me that? Evil: *bursts out laughing* Tango: Oh god… Skizz: Is this for real? Brody: Evil, why would you just give me that? You knew it was me. Tango: Evil! *Brody wins as jester* Etho: Why?! I don’t get that! Endless: What? Why would-? What?! Evil: *still laughing hysterically* Skizz: You guys are morons. Tango: EVIIIL! What’s wrong with you?! Why would you lie?! Evil, still laughing: I didn’t believe he was the jester! Skizz: HE VOTED FOR HIMSELF TWICE!

...

Tango: Rule number one: if you don’t understand a button, press it immediately.

...

Tango, running into electrical to find only Lala there: Oh hi, Lala! *silence* Tango: Lala, how you doing tonight? We haven’t had a chance to talk. *silence* Tango: Good chat, let’s do this again sometime. *silence* Tango: Thanks, Lala. That- Great stuff…

...

*imposter Mrs Tango accidentally killed her partner’s lover and got ejected for it* Mrs Tango: Dangit, Astro! Astro, laughing: Hey, Mrs Tango? D’you r- remember when I had a lover that round?

...

*after Skizz sheriffed Tango 10 seconds into the round* Tango: Let’s find Skizz and close all his doors. *ghost Tango floats over to electrical and finds Skizz’s ghost hovering next to his body* Tango: OH SKIZZ WHAT’S THE MATTER YOU’RE DEAD IN THE FACE YOU JERK BUTT! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Tango: YOU ARE SUCH A MONKEY- *cuts himself off* MMMNNAAAA, alright?! You know that?! I did NOTHING- I did NOTHING to tip you off except mock colours! Skizz: Yes you did, dude! Tango: And you come over like *mocking Skizz* “mleh I’ve known you long enough”, you took a shot in the dark, you monke-! *again cuts himself off* Skizz: It was not a shot in the dark! Tango: Yes it was! Skizz: No it wasn’t! Tango: TOTAL shot in the dark! Skizz: NO IT WASN’T! Tango: You’re a flaming buttnugget! Skizz: *laughs again* Tango: I’m so glad you’re dead.

...

(the same round) Tango: I just wanna let you know right now: you’re dead to me. Skizz: *laughs* Tango: We used to be friends. I am setting your volume to zero. Goodbye, Skizz! Nice knowing you! Skizz, still laughing: You better not!

...

Tango, dead: Vote Skizzleman! Skizz, also dead, laughing: “Vote Skizz”. Tango: Vote Skizz. Resurrect his corpse and then throw him out into space.

...

Tango: How are the bubbles? Am I gonna experience this joy later or what? Mrs Tango: You can only hope. Tango: Ohoho! Can’t wait! Skiddley-doo!

...

Skizz: *calls a meeting* Skizz: I finally got to get there, and here’s what I’m gonna do. I will give the killer- I have risen from the dead. And I will give the killer a chance to step forward and admit to your sins and be forgiven. Brody: Did Astro save you? Cuz that sounds like something he would do. Skizz: Astro saved me, that’s correct. Lala: Awww, he’s so cute! Mrs Tango: Yay altruist!

...

*Etho is unanimously voted out* Brody, deadpan: It’s anonymous though, you don’t know who voted for you.

...

Endless: Why did you vote for me? I was literally on the other side of the ship when that happened. Brody: Because you killed me.

...

Skizz: Hey, Etho. Hey, buddy. You had an opportunity to confess your sins and you just weren’t having it. Etho: You know, I wasn’t really paying attention and then I realised “oh, this is actually coming back to bite me”.

...

*Tango reporting a swooper kill* Lala: Or Tango just killed Brody- Tango: No no no, listen. I’m the engineer, so- Lala: Uh huh- Tango: No no, I’m telling you right now, I’ll vent in front of your dumb face, let’s go. Astro: Hey now! Etho: This is getting spicy :D Lala: I don’t think I like you calling me dumb, Tango. Tango: Alright, I’ll just vent in front of your face. Etho: He didn’t call you dumb, he called your face dumb. There’s a big difference. Astro: I’m not sure that makes it better.

...

*in the lobby* Endless: Tango, here’s what happened. I was talking to Mrs Tango and I said “have you still not finished the swipe [card task]?” and then she said “I just did” and then I realised we didn’t HAVE the swipe [card task], so that’s why I was saying she was faking it. Tango: You know what would’ve been good? Endless: If I had said that- Tango, at the same time: If you had said that in the meeting. That would’ve been good.

...

Tango, as the game is starting: Everybody vote Etho off, he’s the imposter. Etho: Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Tango: Etho sus!

...

Lala: I gasped cuz I saw the purple body and I thought I died. Brody and Evil: *laugh* Brody: Those are two different shades of purp- How much juice have you had? Astro: Just a bottle. Lala: I don’t like your tone, sir.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes (02/10/20)

Skizz: I just said to my audience that the higher Tango’s voice gets, the more likely he’s lying. Tango, in an exaggeratedly high voice: I don’t know what you’re talking about!

...

Skizz: Hey, Tango. Guess what, guess what, guess what? Tango: What’s up? Skizz: Turns out… I hate you. Tango: Hehehehehe >:)

...

Skizz: That’s two games in a row I’ve been dead and you guys skipped your vote. Does my death mean nothing?! Tango: Not really. Bdubs: Eh, it’s not that big. Skizz: You guys SUCK.

...

Brody: Skizz, I swear to all that is beautiful in this world, if you try to put this on me, I will come to Arizona; I will go there and punch you in your face.

...

Impulse: Brody had the chance to kill me and he didn’t, so… Brody: Yeah I was with Impulse quite a bit. Same with Tango, I was with Tango a little bit. Endless: Okay, well that’s helpful. I’m voting Bdubs. Bdubs: Wh-Why?! Tango: Endless, you need to work on your process, here, man!

...

Impulse: *reports body* Skizz, immediately: It’s not Brody, it’s not Brody. Impulse: Do you HAVE to speak first?! I’m the one who called this thing, do you HAVE to speak first? Skizz: Zip that hole in your face.

...

Bdubs: I think Skizz is entitled to some payback after what happened earlier in the round. Skizz: I’m gonna get some IRL payback; I live a thousand feet from Impulse.

...

Tango: Sorry, I missed it; where were the bodies? Impulse: Right where you left ‘em. Tango: Ha ha.

...

Tango: I’m guessing Skizz; he’s awfully quiet right now. But I’m not throwing him under the bus, I’m not voting for him. I’m just saying. Brody: You should throw him under the bus. I’ll do it.

...

*in the lobby* Impulse: I would ask who we’re waiting on but- oh, there he is. Bdubs: Oh, surprise surprise. Skizz: Zip it. I was basking in my glory! Impulse: It IS really hard to press that button, though, I gotcha. Skizz: I hate ‘im. I hate you. I hate you.

...

*Bdubs’s body is reported* Evil: And here we see Bdubs in his natural state: sleeping. Impulse, laughing: It was funny but it was mean, dude! Skizz: The body’s not even cold, man.

...

Skizz: You are now at the age where you realise everything you wanted, it’s too late. Brody: Wow, Skizz… Skizz: I’m obviously kidding. Brody: Are you?

...

Evil: I’m gonna say I’m sus of Tango cuz Mrs Tango’s dead. Tango: Wow. I mean, I do enjoy it, but…not this time. Skizz: Whoa! :O

...

Skizz: Listen to me. Your imposters are Impulse and Tango. Impulse: Skizz, when you find out you’re wrong, will you cancel that trip to my house to punch me in the face? Skizz: Nah that’s a standing appointment.

...

Mrs Tango: If I’m dead, y’all should just vote Tango out. Tango: Listen, lady! You had it coming!

...

Endless: Full disclosure, I hate every single one of you. Brody: Full disclosure, Endless, your death looked nice.

...

Tango, to Bdubs: Can we blackmail you to play with us again sometime? Bdubs: Of course. As long as you guys don’t hate me after all my lies and deceit. Endless: We hated you BEFORE your lies and deceit. Bdubs: Oh, okay, of course! I shoulda known.

...

Joker: Although, if it HAD been called, I think you would’ve voted for Evil. Endless: You don’t know us!

...

*after being defeated by imposter Evil* Skizz: Hey, it wasn’t me and it wasn’t Impulse. Impulse: Thanks, Captain Obvious, ‘ppreciate it. Skizz, joking: I’m pretty sure Evil is in the clear. Joker: Wow, Skizz, your intellect is… uh… Skizz: Zip it.

...

Skizz: No, no, no. You don’t seem to understand, Tango Tek. Tango: Oh…! First AND last name.

...

Skizz: Okay, one more Among Us and then we play Rocket League. Tango: Done. Skizz: I love it. I love it and I love you.

...

Skizz: *presses emergency meeting button 5 seconds into the match* Endless: Oh for the love of God. WHAT? Skizz: I just wanted to say I really- I really love- Tango, pretending to cry: I LOVE YOU GUUUUYS! Skizz: I’ve really had a great time! That’s it. And it’s Joker, you know it is. Impulse in a funny voice: You craaaazy, man. I love you but you craaazy. Skizz: It’s Joker, man! Joker: I didn’t even do anything yet!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 32 (01/10/21)

Brody was missing from this session so Joker filled in for him.

(also, as weird as this sounds, cw for mentions of blood IRL)

…

Astro: Joker, do you wanna vouch for me that I didn’t kill this person? Joker: Astro and Skizz didn’t, but Astro was thinking about it. So, you know, take that for what it’s worth. Etho: We all have those thoughts though.

...

Impulse: I will admit, I have a weird new role that I don’t know what it means. Astro: Poisoner? Impulse, the poisoner: No. Skizz: Jerkface McJerkyton? That’s not new.

...

*Evil and Skizz are accusing each other, Astro is the deciding vote* Astro: I have a question. Give me a number between one and twenty. Skizz first. Skizz: Wow. I go first? Astro: Yup. Skizz: Uhh… ten. Astro: Okay. Evil? Evil: Eighteen. Astro: By the… laws of the… averages, uh… *votes* Sorry, Evil.

...

Joker: I’d like to make an announcement. Skizz: Go. Joker: I’m not friends with Skizz anymore. He marinated me. I’m not talking to him anymore, so if someone can tell Skizz this information, that’d be great. Skizz, laughing: Impulse, if you could tell the Joker I don’t care.

...

Etho: I trust Evil the most this round. Evil: ...and I’m not sure I trust you, Etho. Impulse: Ooooohhh. Spicy.

...

Evil: -and when I came back up, Pearl was dead. And I only heard one other voice. And he’s a very slippery fruit. Endless: Oh dear. Impulse: Apples are slippery too. It wasn’t me, though. Tango: Go slip on an apple! Endless: I was reading way too much into that statement, okay, let’s go.

...

Impulse: I was heading to the microwave in the cafeteria to cook a burrito. Skizz: Was it bacon and egg or bean and cheese? This matters. Impulse: I didn’t make it to the cafeteria cuz this got called. Tango: How do you know it was a burrito, then? Skizz: OOHOOHOOO. VOTING IMPULSE. Impulse: Cuz that’s what I’m hungry for! Allow me to dream!

...

Joker: I was there with the body. It was Endless. The last thing he said, and I quote: “Joker is amazing. And I’m sorry that I have to die.” Impulse: Don’t buy it. Don’t buy it. Joker: That’s what he said. I held his body as he died and that was the last thing he said. *pause* Joker: He also said “make sure to let everybody know that Skizz smells like poop.” Skizz: Ah, there it is.

...

Tango: Voting Skizz. Skizz: Whoa! Impulse: Was Skizz on the stack? Etho? Skizz: I was several steps away from it. Tango: I dunno, Skizz deserves to be voted off. Joker: I mean, I have to agree with that.

...

*Skizz cut his foot on broken glass during the break* Endless: Not gonna lie, my wife would kill me if that happened. She’d be like “yeah I’m sorry about your foot but what’d you do to the carpet?” Tango: Yeah, you heal; the carpet doesn’t.

...

Impulse: Think we might have to go another round without Skizz. Joker: Are they gonna have to amputate? Impulse: Probably. Joker: Yeah, I’d imagine so. Impulse: Be cool if he got one of those peg legs. Joker: I think he’s got an extra foot in his mouth, so he can use that. Evil: Wow… Impulse, snickering: Brutal. Joker: Was- Was that too soon? Impulse: Too soon, too soon. I mean, the dude’s still bleeding, you know?

...

Tango: Is Skizz back? Skizz: I’m back. Tango: Eyyyy, Skizzleblood! Skizz: Dude, I cleaned up all the glass, I cleaned up all the blood- Tango: Tell me it’s like a crime scene in your living room right now, that’s all I wanna hear. Skizz: -and then I made myself a drink and I’m coming up the stairs - I have tile stairs - and I’m like “oh there’s blood all over the stairs- I’ll get that later.” Tango: YEAH! Priorities! That’s what I like to hear!

...

*Skizz’s colour has turned from blue to grey due to a glitch* Tango: So Skizz, you’ve been grey. Skizz: I got- I got nothin’. Tango: Did you- How much blood did you lose? Are you turning into a- Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Evil: Zombieeeee.

...

*body is reported* Tango: I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! *pause* Endless: Congratulations? Tango: I PIPED!

...

Joker: If Tango could just finish his pipe dream earlier, the game would’ve been over. Tango: Is there a kick feature in this game? Just curious, asking for a friend. Endless: Yeah, if you go into the chat, there’s a boot option. Tango: OH! Joker: Endless. Shut up.

...

Evil: Do we wanna switch maps and see if there’s more stability? Tango: Yes. I’m done with this map. Impulse: But I just took pictures! Tango: Can we play, like, the real map? Impulse: I got kicked off the ship for taking those pictures! Joker: Whoa. I dunno what I just walked into but that did not sound right. Endless, overlapping: Yeah, I’ve been there. That’s- That is not something you want on your record.

...

*Impulse saw Tango morph back from being yellow* Impulse: *calls meeting* Impulse: What’s it like when an apple tries to become a banana? Skizz: Ooh, it’s like a smoothie! Endless, chuckling: What? Skizz, in a funny voice: Put a little blueberry in there. Tango: We got a little fruit action going on there or what? Joker: How much blood did you lose, Skizz? You feeling okay?

...

Skizz: Etho. Say words. I like your voice. Etho: What’s up, buddy? What do you want to know? Skizz: I wanna know why you killed sweet Pearl. Etho: Which round? Skizz: Ohohh man. THIS round! Body’s not even cold!

...

Astro: We’re trying for our first task win. Oh, unless Joker’s not gonna do his task. Joker: I- Uh… What, Astro? Astro: Huh? What? What? Where? Huh? Joker: Tasks?

...

Skizz: Who is not doing their tasks?! What IS that? Astro: I’ll give you seven guesses. Skizz: Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker. Joker: Someone called? Skizz: Are you- Are you not- Do you have tasks, Jokes? *long pause* Joker: Um… Are we talking about like, around my house? Skizz: *sighs* Okay.

...

Joker:*reports a body* Joker: OH I found this! Impulse: *laughs* “Oh I found this”? Joker, also laughing: I don’t know why I said it that way.

...

Skizz: Can you do your last task? Cuz that would just be super. Joker: Yeah, Endless. Can you do your last task? Endless: My tasks are done, dude! Joker: Oh. Then I guess you don’t need to do it. Skizz, why are you asking him to do his last task? Skizz: Talking to YOU, Jokes.

...

*Mrs Tango’s body is reported* Endless: It’s just Mrs Tango, let’s move on. Joker: That’s rude, Endless. Endless: Skipping. Moving on.

...

Endless: Whoever killed Mrs Tango, you’ve got my full support. Joker: Endless. Stop it.

...

Impulse: I wonder if Endless and Evil were both imposters and they were trying to cover it up by having a fake conversation in the upper left engine. Evil: No, it was a conversation about the fact that I miss him. Impulse: Yeaaaaah, that felt strange. Like, nobody misses Endless ever. Skizz: Yeah that’s definitely fake. Impulse: That’s what sold me, dude. I was like there’s no way he’s giving him compliments.

...

Skizz: I love you buddy but I just- I’m not even gonna vote for you, I just want to put some sus because- Impulse: You’re wrong. You’re wrong; you lost too much blood. You’re wrong. Skizz: That could be it. That could be it. Impulse: You’ve admitted that you’re off tonight, right? Skizz: No I didn’t, I’ve been crushing it. I was off on Etho ONE time and it got me a little- It shook my confidence. Impulse: Get me voted off, Skizz. I want your confidence to be crushed. Skizz: Oh…

...

Joker: You know what, I just wanna vote Endles out cuz I’m getting tired of his… poop. Endless: Do it, let’s do it. Etho: He might be jester. Endless, in an ominous whisper: Yesss, I’m jester.

...

*Joker is ejected* Endless: If this is wrong, we’re never gonna finish this game. Joker: Nope. You’re not. Now you gotta figure it out. Skizz: If we’re wrong, you gotta [do your tasks]. Do it for me. Oh, that was never gonna sell him.

...

Skizz: I think Impulse might be jester, I think the imposters are Etho and Evil, and the only legit people are me and Pearl. Impulse: *gasps* Evil: Wrong. Skizz, you are so wrong. Skizz: I KNOW I AM; I CAN’T DO THIS GAME ANYMORE! I WAS SO GOOD WHEN WE STARTED! I HATE THIS GAME! Pearl: You are wonderfully right, I had my hand on that scanner. Skizz: I BELIEVE PEARLY POP! VOTING EVIL!

...

Skizz: Hey! Tango! Why is Joker done with his tasks like three weeks before you? Tango: I dunno, man. I don’t know what’s happening right now. Joker: Yeah! Yeah! How’s that, huh?! How about now, sucker?! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Joker: I- I dunno, I felt… I felt vindicated for some reason.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 17 (02/04/21)

Joker: I really don’t know if I trust Skizz as the host [of the lobby]. Skizz: Zip it, Joker! It’s fine! Brody, wearing the hat and moustache: I think you’re doing great, Skizz. Skizz: Thank you, buddy. Joker: Says Yosemite Sam.

...

Joker: And where were you, Yosemite Sam? Brody: Talking to Astro about wiping my butt. Astro: Yup, he- he was. And I- And I confirmed that it is a good thing to do, it’s a good habit to have.

...

Endless, reporting a body: I don’t want- I don’t want- do- Arrggghhh… *sounding annoyed* I found Mister Joker in O2. It wasn’t me. Astro: It could’ve been you, though. Impulse: Could’ve been. Skizz: Nobody asked if it was you, that was weird. Endless: What? Skizz, you- Okay…

...

Etho: I was hanging out with my buddy Impulse. Impulse: Yeeeah :D Skizz: Uhp! SUS. No way you like him.

...

Astro: I wanna know why Skizz screamed that loud. Skizz: Cuz- Tango: He always does. It’s his trademark, right? Astro: Fair point.

...

(at this point, they switch to the new Airship map) Astro: In honour of Brody, I’m gonna vote for Mister Joker, just because. Joker: Oh come on, man! I’m sitting there kicking in- looking for toilet paper! I’m kicking doors down. Astro: Brody’s not here so I’m voting for you. I’m sorry, Mister Joker. Joker: No you’re not.

...

Endless: I hope you’re not asking for a room name, cuz that’s not gonna happen. Tango: No, I just- What was your goal prior to you seeing me slap my buns together? *Skizz and Evil burst out laughing* Etho: Ma- Making a sandwich, right? Making a sandwich…? Tango: Making a sandwich, yeah, of course.

...

*Impulse and Skizz are on one side of the uncrossable gap, while Joker is on the other* Skizz: Hey Joker, can you see us over here? Joker: Yeah I can see you. Skizz: Watch this. Skizz: *kills Impulse* Joker: Wha-?! I can’t-! I can’t do anything about that! Skizz, laughing: Yeah, why don’tcha come report it, buddy? Joker: OH MY GOD! SKIZZ! OH GOD!

...

Skizz: When I was haunting you, was it, like, echoey and haunty or did I sound normal? Astro: It was echoey and distant, but I could definitely hear you. But I was also ignoring you, so… Skizz: *snickers* O-Okay. Well then… Etho: Harsh.

...

Impulse, at the plunging task for the first time: Wait, how do you plunge? What? Tango: OH! Plunge! Impulse, it’s the greatest! You gotta add your own noises, though. Impulse: How do you do it? Tango: You gotta *makes plunging noises* Impulse: I don’t understand! Tango and Joker: *make plunging noises* Impulse: What do I do?! Tango: Plunge! Up and down. Grab the plunger and- Impulse, shoving the plunger up and down: Oh, there you go! *makes delighted plunging noises* Got it! *giggles* That’s a good one! *giggles some more* Tango: ...I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess Impulse is legit.

...

*Impulse decides to play 3rd imposter for Skizz, who just vented in front of him and Astro* Astro: *calls an emergency meeting* Skizz: Tell me you saw that, Impulse. Astro: So Skizz, did you actually accidentally vent in front of me and Impulse? Skizz: Don’t you do that. Astro vented on accident. Impulse saw it. Astro: No, no. It’s Skizz, and if Impulse doesn’t back me up, Impulse is the other one. So I’m voting Skizz now, cuz I saw him vent and come back out. Skizz: I know for a fact it’s Astro. Astro: It was Skizz. It’s Skizz and if Impulse doesn’t back me up- Impulse: So… So it was actually… It was actually Astro but I had no idea where to go to call the meeting. Astro: Okay, Impulse is your other one. It’s Skizz and Impulse, and if you don’t vote one of the two of them out, they’ll have two vs two. Skizz: Man, he’s hanging on. Like a bulldog. Teeth clamped down.

...

Endless: *calls meeting* Endless: I apologise. I called this meeting so we can vote Joker off just so I can get across that gap. Joker: *bursts out laughing* Impulse: Jeeeeez. Tango: Seems legit to me. Joker, still laughing: No, no, no! Endless: I need to cross the gap and he won’t get off the platform. Skizz: I skipped, Joker. Joker: I voted for Endless so he can just float across. Impulse: Well, that IS Option B. It’s not a bad option. Evil: I’m doing the breakers and you guys interrupted me for THIS?

...

Joker: I just saw Tango kill Endless. *pause* Skizz: Is that- Is that for real? Joker: I just saw it! I walked up and he was right in range! At the end of the hallway! Etho: I was doing the laundry and Tango was talking to Endless. And then… Joker: And then Endless stopped talking? Skizz: Tango, talk to us, buddy. *long pause* Tango, in a low and dramatic voice: It was time.

...

Tango: THE MAP’S THE SIZE OF THE UNITED STATES AND ONE PERSON COMES BY RIGHT WHEN I KILL HIM!? COME ON!

...

Skizz: *calls a meeting* Skizz: Hey everybody! I just wanna say that Mister Joker sucks. Joker: Oh come ON, man!

...

Skizz: Is anyone else feeling a Tango/Mrs Tango vibe here? Tango: Nope.

...

Brody: Where was the body, Endless? Endless: It was… on the airship. Brody: OH-kay…

...

Mrs Tango, reporting a body: EvilNotion dead in the hallway. Killed by… *muttering* eenie, meenie, miney, mo… *everyone laughs* Impulse: Okay! Alright! Brody: Is that how we’re picking killers now? Mrs Tango: Yup!

...

*Endless is ejected with two early/joke votes bc nobody else voted* Astro: Wait… Impulse: *laughs* What? Astro: Wait, what?! Did nobody vote? Joker: What just happened?! Astro: I… think we all forgot to skip…

...

Joker: Hi, Impulse. Impulse: I’m observing. I’m observing you. Joker: You’re observing me? Impulse: I’m observing you. Joker: What does that even mean? What am I, a science project? Impulse: Yes. Yes, I’m observing all of you. I see all of you right now. Joker: I… I feel a little creeped out by that.

...

Joker: Etho. Etho. Etho. If I do- If I do- THIS- Joker: *kills Impulse in front of him* Joker, continued: -what will you do? *body is reported by Brody and Skizz, who witnessed him do it* Skizz: Mister Joker! Brody: Mister Joker. Skizz: Worst killer ever. Etho: It was me! It was me. Brody: Etho…! Etho, are you really, really…? Okay.

...

Endless: *about deliberate 3rd impostering* That’s not how this game works, guys! You realise that, right? Impulse: Oh, this game is what WE make of it. Joker: I dunno, Endless. You got voted off, so it seems to be working fine. Endless: You shut your face! I will-! Joker: *laughs*

...

*Tango sussed Astro after hearing Mrs Tango scream IRL as she was murdered and backtracking to find him leaving the scene* Astro: Yeah, I did kill her, Tango. Tango: I know it was you! Astro: That was cheaty, though. Mrs Tango, scream quieter next time.

...

Etho, about the new map: It’s really hard to catch people on location, though. Being near the body. Astro: Unless their wife screams from inside the house.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes (Tango birthday edition) part 18 (16/04/21)

Impulse: *zoomies into admin and stands by the table for about 3 seconds* Impulse: OH I don’t even have [the swipe card task]. *laughs* Etho: Uh… Impulse. I did kinda notice that. Impulse: I zoomed in here so fast I didn’t know I didn’t have a task. Etho: You ARE zooming around. Okay, I’ll let it pass. Impulse: *dashes to shields and does the task there* Etho: Actually, I dunno if I’m gonna let it pass. *leaves* Impulse: What?! I just did shields! Impulse, running after Etho: Etho! Love me! LOVE ME!

...

Endless: I think I might be invisible. Etho: Oh no, I was just ignoring you, Endless. Sorry. Skizz: Somebody say something?

...

Skizz: It has to be Mrs Tango. Mrs Tango: Why?! Skizz: It doesn’t have to be, I just feel it.

...

Impulse, running up to Skizz and Etho standing together on a task: Are you lovers? Are you lovers? Should I leave? Skizz: You know what, this is a monogamous relationship, buddy. Impulse: Do you need- Do you need help? Etho, if you are in need of help, wiggle twice. Skizz: *laughs* Etho: Well, he hasn’t killed me YET...

...

Evil: I found a dead Impulse in upper engine. Skizz: Cuz you killed him. Evil: Nope. Skizz: Cuz your partner killed him. Evil: Nope. Skizz: Cuz you called in a hitman and had him killed. Evil: ...Do you WANT me to vote for you, Skizz? *pause* Skizz: Cuz Joker killed him. Joker: Wow. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, there, Skizz. *pause* Joker: Just like that hair.

...

Joker: I wanna say it’s Skizzle cuz it looks like he’s wearing the head of Geoffrey the Giraffe’s sister. Skizz: Alright, listen. Listen. ‘Kay? You’ve gotten across how superficial you are. I know my hair is not to your liking, clown. Okay? You just sit over there and lemme be beautiful. Tango: Yeah, don’t be judgey.

...

*Brody’s body is reported* Endless: Aww, we miss you, Brody. Skizz: Eh. Let’s not get carried away. Joker: *laughs* I approve of this message.

...

*Skizz has a sheep accessory on his head* Evil: Skizz, are you feeling sheepish? Joker: DANG IT! I was gonna say that joke!

...

Skizz: Alright. I’ve disclosed myself as the spy so if I die, you know it was the imposter. Tango, laughing: If I die, an imposter killed me.

...

Astro: Can we vote for Joker for many reasons? But mostly because- Joker: What?! Why?! Tango: Oh, Etho’s the snitch! Astro, continued: -he just zoomed by Etho. I just saw Joker swoop by Etho and kill him. Joker: I did not! I did not do that! Tango: That’s the first time we’ve seen snitch. Joker: I’ve been running this whole time! What’re you-?! Astro: Yeah, you ran right by Etho and killed him! Impulse: Wait… Tango- Joker: I DID NOT! Impulse: Tango, Tango. How do you know? How do you know we saw snitch? Tango: Cuz it says… snitch next to his name…? No…? Astro: Okay so Tango’s the other- the other imposter, cuz- Impulse: Ohhhh!!!! Tango: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Impulse: Technicality!! Joker: Well it’s Tango but it’s not me! Tango: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHYYYYYY?!!!!!!!!! Endless: Why’s it- Where does it say snitch? Tango: I mean- No, guys, we should work this out. There’s a chance- *mumbles* I got nothing… Astro: I still think it’s Joker but it’s definitely Tango. Tango: WHY?! STUPID MODS! Impulse: You’re the only one that saw the snitch reveal! Tango: WHYYYYYYYY?! Endless: C’mon, let’s do Joker first, and THEN get Tango.# Joker: NO, it’s NOT me! Endless, why are you pushing to kill me so quickly?! Endless: Because Astro called you out! Astro: But- But Tango called HIMSELF out, so I think he kinda deserves this. Impulse: Tango snitched himself!

...

*after the round* Joker: Goshdarnit, Tango! Tango: That was the dumbest round ever and it’s full of dumb and you’re all dumb. Impulse: Ouch. Joker: Tangooo! Impulse: Yeaaah, the snitch callout was pretty bad. Tango: I assumed that once it was revealed, everyone knew it. Astro: It’s revealed to the IMPOSTERS and- Tango: I GOT THAT. GOT IT. THANKS. GOT IT. Joker: Happy birthday, Tango :)

...

Mrs Tango: I just walked into the room and I watched [Tango] stab Astro. He didn’t even care that I walked into the room. Tango: Nope! Nope! Do NOT let her trick you, okay? Do not let this happen. I’m not saying anything else. Impulse: I’m gonna trust Tango cuz it’s his birthday. Mrs Tango: You should NOT trust Tango. He’s a dirty liar. Skizz: Oh man, she-! Impulse: And this is why I will never play this game with my significant other.

...

*Etho is claiming that Evil and Joker are lovers* Impulse: How do you know that, Etho? Skizz: Yeah, how do you know that? Joker: Yeah, how DO you know that, Etho? Etho: They confessed their love. Joker: I love everybody. I love you, I love Impulse. Dunno about Skizz, but… Skizz: Come ON, Joker!

...

Joker: Impulse, would you like to say what happened with Brody after you guys left together? *pause* Impulse, in a small voice: I know it looks bad…

...

Evil: So we start the game voting Tango out, right? Tango: Wait, what?! Why?! Brody: I’m down. Sounds good. Tango: Listen, I got a finger on my head and I’m not afraid to use it. Endless: You put that finger away, sir!

...

*a meeting is called, interrupting Joker and Endless’s conversation* Joker: What proposition? Endless: You missed out on the proposition. Joker: Endless is propositioning me and I dunno how to feel about it.

...

Joker: I’ll be honest, [Skeld] is my least favourite map. I absolutely hate this map. Tango: What?! Impulse: Skeld?! Joker: Yup. Tango: Joker, you are dumb with a sprinkling of dumb. Skizz: This is my favourite map. I like actually knowing where stuff is. Tango: Skeld is AMAZING. It’s so balanced. Endless: Joker’s favourite map is MIRA, so… Tango: Yeah, he just wants to get lost and press buttons and ride riders. Joker: I just don’t like this map. It’s too easy to find people together. I like it when people are spread out more. Tango: It’s perfect. Joker: No. I hate it. You’re dumb.

...

Skizz: You know what, Joker? I hate your hat. Joker: What? Skizz: I hate your hat. Joker: *scoffs* I don’t care.

...

Skizz: *changes his accessory back to the hair Joker hates the most* Skizz: BOOM. That’s just for Joker! Joker: OH! Oh come on, Skizz! NO!!! Skizz: You crawl inside this hair! Joker: Oh GOD no! Why would I do that?! Skizz: It stinks in here. Come on in, the water’s fine. Joker: Skizz, that’s the WORST thing you’ve ever said!

...

*body is reported* Evil: Why were you screaming, Tango? Tango: I just wanna say that when I see Evil approach me now, I pucker and I- I wait. It’s just- I have this thing now. Every time Evil approaches me, I assume I’m going to die. Joker: Hey Skizz? Can I use your hair to scrub my brain so I don’t have to hear Tango say “pucker” again?

...

Tango: It wasn’t Etho. I feel bad now. Skizz: You shouldn’t. I hate Etho.

...

Astro: *calls a meeting* Astro: I hit my button cuz at least I can now for two seconds use a non-vanilla role and be Button Barry. Tango: I like that the button was actually three feet away when you pressed the button there. Astro: Yup. Didn’t care. Tango: Nice, that’s- Well done. All you had to do was take three steps. Astro: I wanted to use that button. That’s it, that’s all I got. *pause* Astro: Enjoy the 40 seconds we’ve got left.

...

Brody: Astro, what are you doing? Astro: I’m following you. Brody: Why? Astro: I dunno. I’m done with my tasks. Impulse: Are you his… Are you his lover? Are you his LOVER, Astro? Astro: Nah, I did that once. We broke up. Brody: Awww, we did??

...

*after Astro sheriffed Skizz* Evil: But nobody died, so why are you trying to pin something on me? Tango: I’m tryina pin something on somebody. Brody: Ahh, that’s not a good thing. Astro: I killed someone. Evil, laughing: Well yeah, nobody died this round except the guy Astro admitted to killing.

...

Skizz: I hate Joker, Endless, Brody, and Impulse. Oh I’m sorry, I was talking to my chat. Joker: I didn’t vote for you!! Endless: Joke’s on you Skizz, I also hate me.

...

Tango: I’m trying to scan my bitties and you guys are all pressing buttons. Joker: Nobody wants to hear about your bitties. Tango: Well, they’re being scanned. Joker: I don’t care about your bitties, dude.

...

Astro: Did Impulse even say where [the body] was? Impulse: It’s between office and storage. Joker: I thought it was between electrical and office. Impulse: Electrical, storage, office. It’s kinda like in the middle there. Tango: What are you even saying right now? Impulse: Okay, okay. Pull up your maps, make a triangle between electrical, storage and office. The body’s RIGHT in the middle of that triangle. Tango: The triangle’s pointing to your name and *votes* OH! WHOOPS! Impulse: Isosceles triangle. What? Tango: Sorry, I made a triangle but clicked your name by accident. Impulse: Oh my gosh. Joker: I’m clicking your name, Tango. Cuz that’s weird. Impulse: What is happening…?! Evil, laughing: I don’t know, we’re jumping the shark. *everyone has skipped except Joker voted for Tango and Tango voted for Impulse* Impulse: Are you mad that you can’t make a triangle?! *everyone laughs* Joker: Tongo don’t make triangle! Etho: Tongo smash triangle!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 6 (18/12/20)

Etho: Endless, defence? Endless: Joker was just standing there, doing Simon Says. I had to kill him. Etho: That’s a good defence. I like that. Endless: I had to kill Joker. And I didn’t know Skizz was there. Etho: I dunno if I can vote him now; that was a really good defence.

...

*emergency meeting is called just after Impulse is killed* Etho: Nooooo! Skizz: What’s going on? Etho: I needed to ask Impulse a question! Skizz: You know what? I’ll channel him! Here, I’ll be Impulse. Ask the question. Etho: …“Impulse”, did you see Skizzle vent in weapons? Skizz, in a “dumb” voice: Duhhh, I’m a big dumb-dumb! Brody: Wooooooow…

...

Brody: Evil voted for Etho and I don’t know why. Evil: For fun.

...

*the round finishes* Impulse, imitating Skizz’s dumb voice: “HI, MY NAME IS SKIZZLEMAN, I LIKE TO DO TASKS INSTEAD OF TURNING THE LIGHTS ON.” Skizz: What are you talking about, dude? I- Impulse: Dude, I was with you to protect you that whole time cuz I was done, and then the first chance you get, you throw me under the bus like that? Skizz: What do you mean throw you under the bus? What does that mean? Impulse, mimicking Skizz mimicking him: “Hi, my name’s Impulse, I don’t knoooow” *pause* Brody: You guys need to hug it out. Tango: I’m not sure what’s happening right now but I’m enjoying it.

...

*Joker reports a body* Joker: Okay. *takes a deep breath* Okay… Etho: Joker’s got something spicy here, I can feel it.

...

*Etho reports a body* Skizz: I’ll let you go first, go ahead. *pause* Skizz: Go ahead, buddy, do it. That was slick. I’ll let you talk first, go ahead. *pause* Skizz: You gotta push-to-talk, though. *pause* Etho: I don’t know if I wanna talk. What’s going on here...?

...

Mrs Tango: I’ve just done the ZOOP ZOOP ZOOP thing in navigation. Tango: ...the what? Mrs Tango: The ZOOP ZOOP ZOOP thing. You know, where you’re ZOOP ZOOP ZOOPing the rocket through the ZOOP ZOOP ZOOPs. Tango: Judges? Endless: That’s an adorable sound!

...

Impulse: Evil was just standing around on Simon Says while the reactor was going off. Evil: It was my fourth time trying to complete it. Tango: If it was your FOURTH time, you should’ve made some progress, man. Evil: I hit the wrong button. Impulse: *votes* OOPS I hit the wrong button! I voted for Evil! (/s)

...

Impulse: *is dead* Etho: Well, we know it’s not Impulse for sure. Brody: That’s… kinda what I’m saying. Etho: I’m a pretty good detective :D

...

Joker: That was a good round, Etho. We both got three kills. Etho: Yeah. I was really slow at the start, though, sorry about that. Joker: No, you’re fine; I made up for it. Bdubs, laughing: So Canadian. “I’m sorry.” Etho, also laughing: “I’m so sorry. I should’ve killed more.”

...

Tango: Brody body in office. Right side. Impulse: Okay! Joker just came from there. Evil, who was with you that whole time? Was it Etho? Evil: Yeah, Etho. Impulse: And you both saw Joker in- Etho: Whoa whoa, don’t insta-vote here. Bdubs: I insta-voted, because Impulse was with me so much. I trust his- I trust him. So much. He’s so sweet. We were together holding hands - SO cute - in specimen. The two of us.

...

Impulse: Do we believe in Bdubs? Impulse, singing: I believe in Bduuuubs, and you know it’s truuuue. Bdubs can’t be wrong, noooo. *pause* Impulse: Apparently I sing now.

...

Impulse: Can we trust Skizz, is the question right now. Skizz: *kills Impulse* Impulse: ...nope.

...

Skizz: I found Joker’s body in O2 and I didn’t see anyone else around. Endless: I still feel pretty confident it’s Joker. Tango: Joker sus.

...

Brody: So I just went into laboratory and the last person I saw was Tango. Tango: I had three tasks in there. Impulse: Was- Brody: Was one of them to kill EvilNotion? Impulse: I wanted to say that!

...

Brody: Who did you say you found, Bdubs? Bdubs: Mrs Tango. Brody: Oh, and Etho’s dead too. Endless: Yeah but who cares about that.

...

Brody: So Skizz hasn’t said anything the whole meeting. Skizz: Okay, here’s exactly what’s happening. I have nothing of value to add. I saw nothing. And also every time Impulse talks, I’m using his plushie to, like, mimic him talking. Brody: Uhhhh… Bdubs: I’m voting you for that. *votes are revealed, the majority has gone with Skizz* Skizz: WHOA what is happening?! Bdubs: You rubbing the plushie, c’mon. Skizz: Not RUBBING! Using it for- That got weird! Impulse: It got weird as soon as you said it.

...

*after Impulse changes his hat to reindeer antlers* Brody: You look festive, Impulse. I appreciate that. Impulse: Yeah, I’m festive now. I think that that’s why I haven’t been imposter, so… Brody: It’s close to Christmas, you gotta be festive. Mrs Tango’s festive too. Look at us down here. Joker: I’m festive! :D Brody: You can festively get outta here with that hat, that’s not Christmas. Get outta here. Bdubs: I have mistletoe above my head, in case anybody’s interested. Endless: I’m pretty sure you’re a potato.

...

Tango: I will tell you 100% unequivocally that Endless just butchered my wife right in front of me. Skizz: I believe you Tango, but I would like you to show a little bit more remorse from watching someone murder your wife. I don’t like the giggle.

...

Brody: Any time I can get Endless out of this game, I’ll do it. Endless: That’s fair…

...

*Tango reports Impulse’s body on MIRA map* Tango: Etho? Did Etho report this one? Okay, guys, here’s what happened- Etho: Get me outta this nightmare. Tango: I opened the door to the bottom airlock of whatever that left-side nonsense is. Etho’s standing on the body, waiting to come out. Etho: Can’t move a muscle on this map… Brody: Etho, who are you voting for, just out of curiosity? You voting for Tango? Etho: ...no. Bdubs: Yes he did, yes he did! Etho: It wasn’t Tango, I promise. Brody and Bdubs simultaneously: Who was it, then? *pause* Etho: It wasn’t Impulse.

...

Tango: Joker, for what it’s worth, you are the worst and I’m probably gonna vote you off. Joker: *bursts out laughing* Tango: You just spent twenty minutes there, bumping your bits against the doors, doing nothing. Joker: I love the sound of those doors!

...

Etho: Okay, so I know it wasn’t Brody, because it looked like he was scanning. Joker: ...well he’s dead, so…

...

Impulse: Tango’s dead in laboratory. I know it’s not Bdubs, cuz I saw him in reactor. I feel like I saw the colour of Etho’s skin but I’m only 90% sure. Brody: ONLY 90?! That’s a pretty high percentage! Etho: ...it’s just not my night, is it?

...

Etho: I was in cafeteria, doing the vending machine. Brody: You mean the VENTING machine? *at the end of the round* Tango: By the way, Brody. Bonus points for “venting machine”, that was awesome, dude. Brody: Oh, thank you! I felt dirty saying it cuz you know how I feel about them, but it was there.