#but it is amazing how hard it is to have the space and the opportunity to do that in close quarters. with a busy schedule.

[books-and-strawberry-tea]

I don’t normally comment about booktube here. But I’ve just seen a video and I have to get some comments off my chest.

This video was about e-readers. And while the person has a huge collection of books behind them, goes on to explain that e-readers are so unnecessary, cause they are expensive. And if you are going to buy an e-reader, just buy an iPad cause they are similar in price….

I’m sorry but in what world is an iPad and an e-reader the same price?? (Or yk other tablets of a similar nature).

This person goes on to talk about how e-readers can’t install apps like Libby etc…are we just going to ignore the e-readers that run on android?? That function like a regular phone just with an e-ink screen??

I honestly gave up watching this video cause this person just sounded like they were pretty single minded on the topic. So here’s my two cents.

Pro’s for an ereader: (at least in my case)

1. E-reader’s are amazing for portability. Physical books can get very heavy, and although I love them, I hate taking physical books out with me cause I’m terrified of damaging them.

2. Books in my country, are incredibly expensive. You can go to the bookstore, and end up spending $50 AUD and get 1-2 books depending on what you get. Hard covers are usually $40+! Paperbacks can range between $17-$40 also. And if it doesn’t get printed in Australia?? Good luck. The only way I could get Hunting Adeline was to pay $65. Because whenever I ordered it from Amazon at $35, from America, it would come absolutely obliterated because they don’t package it in anything but a basic plastic mailer bag. No protection at all.

3. E-readers are much better for your eyes and don’t have constant distracting notifications and people trying to ring you. I have weak eye muscles. Always have. I wear glasses for this. And I used to read on my phone cause it’s what I have with me while I was out. But once I got an e-reader, I realised just how bad my eye strain was from my phone. E-readers have seriously improved my reading stamina especially since mine has the orange light feature. It’s not like we all don’t have an internet or phone addiction anyway. At least according to statistics I’ve seen in the past. Majority of us are trying to spend less time on our phones and more time doing what we love. And e-readers absolutely help with that. (Much better for my ADHD too honestly.)

4. I live with roommates, I have very limited space. So big book collections is just not something that’s possible for me. I’d love to, but again, space and money.

5. E-readers have given me the opportunity to read books that I’d never be able to get. Because of space reasons, money reasons, and the fact that Australia just does not get the wide selection of books that other countries do. We miss out so much. Some books, we have to wait YEARS for, while everyone else gets them on release dates. My e-reader has been such a huge investment for me, as well as an opportunity maker to give me the option to read books I’d never be able to get other wise.

I will clarify this by saying yes, I do have an iPad. But that was a gift. I didn’t buy it for myself. My mother very graciously bought it for me with her inheritance money. She went out of her way to make sure I had a good working device for university. That iPad was over $2,000 aud. My e-reader?? $250!!! HUGE price difference. And it has helped me save so much money in the process. Cause if I read the ebook, and don’t like it, that’s okay, refund. If I do??? Then I can absolutely go out and hopefully track down a physical copy. If that’s not possible?? I still have the digital version. That I can enjoy over and over.

No, I’m not ignoring the cons to do with DRM, and companies censoring ebooks, not at all. But I feel like either way there is still more pros then what this person was giving e-readers credit for. She sounded privileged honestly, she may not have a use for e-readers. But to be saying that you don’t need one, and that they are completely unnecessary….its just incorrect.

I haven’t even touched on how e-readers help others with disabilities to be able to access books. I have a friend for example that has been very unwell for many years now. And because of this, she has fatigue and strength issues. She at one stage could barely hold a book. But once she got her kindle, she was so over joyed cause she could finally enjoy books again. Kindles are so light, they have stands etc. It honestly reminds me of the people that say audiobooks arnt counted as reading and you shouldn’t do it. Sure, let’s just alienate all the people that can’t read or have vision impairment right? (For clarity, I’m being sarcastic.) Or how about all the cultures that past on the culture, history, legends etc all by word of mouth?? For centuries, way before anyone invented written script. But that’s a whole other tangent I can go off about later.

If e-readers arnt for you, that’s totally fine. But to say no one has a need for them, because physical books exist, is just closed minded. Just because you have the privilege of a huge book library and may not have use of an e-reader, doesn’t not mean that other people don’t have a great use for them.

Anyway, that’s my rant. I don’t like ranting online. But this just frustrated me so much. No hate to this person personally, I just think they weren’t open to the possibilities of how these devices are used and fulfil needs for other people that live differently.

If you read this, cool! I hope you have a good day. And enjoy reading what you are currently 💝

[sunlightfeeling]

I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but like……..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them ……😮‍💨

like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me

[itspileofgoodthings]

i think (to speak sanely and in a practical manner for a minute rather than a self-pitying one) that it’s hard to both a) feel all you’re feeling, b) keep going and be a professional and also a daughter and a sister and a friend to all the people in your life. and you do have to do both! the way out is through, it’s time, it’s good not to melt down in the wrong time and context, in places where it wouldn’t be helpful and would just be a weight for everyone else. but the melting down still needs to happen. the tears still need to be cried and the feelings felt. and it’s just. the balance of that is part of what is so hard to strike. 

[minswriting]

spencer reid + car sex after he got out of prison yes please!!

nsfw | mdni | spencer reid x reader | car sex, p in v, degradation, unprotected sex

“pull over,” spencer said with irritation in his voice as you drove.

it had been a few weeks since spencer had gotten out of prison. the bau had just finished another case and it was a bit of a difficult one. you were driving back to quantico with only spencer, a decision made by you to get spencer alone for awhile.

your relationship with spencer was complicated to say the least. you guys had a sort of colleagues-with-feelings-but-don’t-want-to-admit-it-so-you-opt-for-sex-instead sort of situation going on. so you had taken the opportunity for finally have time alone as you guys hadn’t had time to really be alone since before he went to prison.

“is everything okay?” you asked as you pulled the car over on the empty highway and put it into park. you turned your head to look at spencer, who just leaned in to capture your lips in a desperate kiss. you let out a small noise of surprise before kissing spencer back, placing a hand on his cheek.

“need to feel you,” spencer murmured, his hot breath on your lips. you nodded your head, unbuckling your seatbelt as spencer did the same.

it didn’t take long before your pants were pulled off and your panties were pulled to the side. spencer’s pants were unzipped enough to let his cock out as you sunk down onto his cock. the both of you let out moans as you relished in being full again. it has been far too long since you had been with spencer and your body craved for his cock.

“i missed this,” spencer groaned, keeping you still for a moment as he took in inside of you. you instinctively clenched your walls around his cock, causing him to hiss in pleasure.

“i missed you so much,” you murmured shakily as you leaned forward to rest your head on spencer’s shoulder. his arms wrapped around your waist.

“i missed you too, baby,” spencer replied softly as he held you. and after a few moments of silence, he began to thrust up into you, causing you to moan in his ear. “i thought about this every single day since i got arrested,” he grunted into your ear as he moved his hips. “dreamt about your dripping pussy and how you’re always so wet for me like a bitch in heat.”

you moaned at spencer’s words and the feeling of his cock inside of you, your eyes fluttering shut. spencer hadn’t been one to degrade you often during sex. but when he did, it never failed to turn you on. especially because the words just sounded oh-so-good leaving spencer’s lips. “i love your cock,” you said, bouncing your hips up and down to meet spencer’s thrusts. “always makes me feel so good.”

“yeah?” he asked. “did you touch yourself while thinking about me while i was locked up?”

you nodded your head, moaning loudly as spencer gave a particularly harsh thrust. “yes!” you whined. “oh fuck. fucked myself so much wishing it was you, spence.”

“naughty naughty girl,” spencer replied, burying his head in between your neck and shoulder. “who knew you were such a fucking slut?”

the sex was desperate and a bit awkward due to being in such a confined space. but it felt amazing nevertheless. having not had sex in the last few weeks, months even, it was not hard for either of you to guess that the other was extremely pent up. but you knew especially that spencer was.

“such a slut for you, spence,” you moaned into his ear, grinding your hips against his. “only you.” your walls clenched around his cock purposefully to make your point.

spencer let out a low groan. he brought a hand to your hair, gently moving your head so that he could kiss your lips properly. the kiss was hot, desperate, and definitely hard to maintain with you bouncing on his cock and his thrusts up into you.

it didn’t take long for you guys to cum at all. spencer had brought his hand down to your pussy, rubbing your clit to help you reach your peak as he began cumming inside of you with moans that went into your mouth. you began to cum as well, thighs shaking and back arching as you came on spencer’s cock.

and when you both were finished, you stared at one another for a few moments. an unspoken exchange of “i love you’s” and “thank you’s” that you don’t expect to hear out loud any time soon. because in the end you’re still colleagues. and adding feelings into the mists would just complicate things.

after a bunch of maneuvering and awkward elbows in random places, you had gotten your pants back on and back into the drivers seat while spencer tucked himself away and zipped himself up. the both of you went back to as you were before, pretending as though nothing happened.

[foone]

Look if there's one thing, just one thing, that I wish everyone understood about archiving, it's this:

We can always decide later that we don't need something we archived.

Like, if we archive a website that's full of THE WORST STUFF, like it turns out it's borderline illegal bot-made spam art, we can delete it. Gone.

We can also chose not to curate. You can make a list of the 100 Best Fanfic and just quietly not link to or mention the 20,000 RPFs of bigoted youtubers eating each other. No problem!

We can also make things not publicly available. This happens surprisingly often: like, sometimes there'll be a YouTube channel of alt-right bigotry that gets taken down by YouTube, but someone gives a copy to the internet archive, and they don't make it publicly available. Because it might be useful for researchers, and eventually historians, it's kept. But putting it online for everyone to see? That's just be propaganda for their bigotry. So it's hidden, for now. You can ask to see it, but you need a reason.

And we can say all these things, we can chose to delete it later, we can not curate it, we can hide it from public view... But we only have these options BECAUSE we archived it.

If we didn't archive it, we have no options. It is gone. I'm focusing on the negative here, but think about the positive side:

What if it turns out something we thought was junk turns out to be amazing new art?

What if something we thought of as pointless and not worth curating turns out to be influential?

What if something turns out to be of vital historical importance, the key that is used to solve a great mystery, the Rosetta stone for an era?

All of those things are great... If we archived it when we could.

Because this is an asymmetric problem:

If we archived it and it turns out it's not useful, we can delete.

If we didn't archive it and it turns out it is useful, OOPS!

You can't unlose something that's been lost. It's gone. This is a one way trip, it's already fallen off the cliff. Your only hope is that you're wrong about it being lost, and there is actually still a copy somewhere. If it's truly lost, your only option is to build a time machine.

And this has happened! There are things lost, so many of them that we know of, and many more we don't know of. There are BOOKS OF THE BIBLE referenced in the canon that simply do not exist anymore. Like, Paul says to go read his letter to the Laodiceans, and what did that letter say? We don't know. It's gone.

The most celebrated playwright in the English tradition has plays that are just gone. You want to perform or watch Love's Labours Won? TOO FUCKING BAD.

Want to watch Lon Cheyney's London After Midnight, a mystery-horror silent film from 1927? TOO BAD. The MGM vault burnt down in 1965 and the last known copy went up in smoke.

If something still exists, if it still is kept somewhere, there is always an opportunity to decide if it's worthy of being remembered. It can still be recognized for its merits, for its impact, for its importance, or just what it says about the time and culture and people who made it, and what they believed and thought and did. It can still be a useful part of history, even if we decide it's a horrible thing, a bigoted mess, a terrible piece of art. We have the opportunity to do all that.

If it's lost... We are out of options. All we can do is research it from how it affected other things. There's a lot of great books and plays and films and shows that we only know of because other contemporary sources talked about them so much. We're trying to figure out what it was and what it did, from tracing the shadow it cast on the rest of culture.

This is why archivists get anxious whenever people say "this thing is bad and should not be preserved". Because, yeah, maybe they're right. Maybe we'll look back and decide "yeah, that is worthless and we shouldn't waste the hard drive or warehouse space on it".

But if they're wrong, and we listen to them, and don't archive... We don't get a second chance at this. And archivists have been bitten too many times by talk of "we don't need copies, the original studio has the masters!" (it burnt down), or "this isn't worth preserving, it's just some damn silly fad" (the fad turned out to be the first steps of a cultural revolution), or "this media is degenerate/illegal/immoral" (it turns out those saying that were bigots and history doesn't agree with their assessment).

So we archive what we can. We can always decide later if it doesn't need preserving. And being a responsible archivist often means preserving things but not making them publicly available, or being selective in what you archive (I back up a lot of old computer hard drives. Often they have personal photos and emails and banking information! That doesn't get saved).

But it's not really a good idea to be making quality or moral judgements of what you archive. Because maybe you're right, maybe a decade or two later you'll decide this didn't need to be saved. And you'll have the freedom to make that choice. But if you didn't archive it, and decide a decade later you were wrong... It's just gone now. You failed.

Because at the end of the day I'd rather look at an archive and see it includes 10,000 things I think are worthless trash, than look at an archive of on the "best things" and know that there are some things that simply cannot be included. Maybe they were better, but can't be considered as one of the best... Because they're just gone. No one has read them, no one has been able to read them.

We have a long history of losing things. The least we can do going forward is to try and avoid losing more. And leave it up to history to decide if what we saved was worth it.

My dream is for a future where critics can look at stuff made in the present and go "all of this was shit. Useless, badly made, bigoted, horrible. Don't waste your time on it!"

Because that's infinitely better than the future where all they can do is go "we don't know of this was any good... It was probably important? We just don't know. It's gone. And it's never coming back"

[jaystardust]

‎𖦹 ༘⋆𓇼ִ ࣪🐚⋆｡ LIKE HOT SUMMER

Pairing: sim Jake x fem!reader, ft. lee heeseung, sungchan of riize

Genre: brother best friend, beach au, fluff, angst

Warnings: angst, suggestive, sungchan is kind of a toxic ex, cheating, alcohol consumption, slut shaming...

Summary: After a tough school year and a heartbreaking breakup, you escape to a beach house with your brother Heeseung and his best friend Jake. Amidst sun-soaked days and ocean waves, you find an unexpected connection with Jake growing stronger. Just as you begin to heal, an unexpected event stirs up unresolved emotions and complicates your summer retreat.

Words count: 9.4K

The feeling of sea salt drying on your skin, the light breeze flowing through your hair, and the hot sand beneath your feet can seem so near yet so far at the same time.

It was your last day of exams before the summer break, and to be honest, some vacation was needed. It's been a tough year, and as intense as it sounds, it's been hard to combine classes with your part-time job. You were working at a coffee shop near the campus, which was exhausting. That's where you met your boyfriend, Sungchan, well... ex-boyfriend.

The break-up was still fresh, so fresh that you had trouble getting used to it, or at least realizing it.

A week ago, when you had to go to your shift – an unscheduled shift, as you had to replace a colleague – you caught your boyfriend hooking up with one of your colleagues in the supply room... very hygienic, by the way…

As luck had decided not to be on your side on this one, and as if you hadn't already had enough, this summer's vacation would be spent with Sungchan. The trip to Greece you'd been looking forward to had fallen through, and so had the money you'd put into it. Neither the ticket nor the hotel was refundable so close to departure. And it was out of the picture to spend time in the presence of your ex, even if the sea at hand would have been a wonderful opportunity to drown him.

As your older brother, Heeseung, noticed that you were feeling down about not having any plans for the summer due to your recent break-up, he came up with an idea. He knew how hard you had worked all year to make the most of your summer, and it was difficult for him to see you feeling that way.

That's why he offered you to spend the vacation with him and his best friend Jake at the beach. His best friend had invited him many times to his family's beach house. So when Heeseung mentioned your situation to him, he immediately asked if you would like to join them.

You were not very well acquainted with Jake, but you truly appreciated this thoughtful gesture. Even if you knew that he probably just did it to help his best friend, or at least to help him get some peace of mind so he could have a blast all summer with him.

After considering it for some time, you concluded that this well-deserved vacation was a great idea. You'll have all the time you need to unwind and put your break-up out of your mind, even if it means sharing the space with your brother and his best friend. While they are out enjoying themselves, whether by getting drunk or getting laid, topics that hold no interest to you.

---

Sitting on your suitcase so that it could close was not a solution, and yet there were plenty of movies where you'd seen people do it. The only way out was to get some stuff out of it, but that was not an option. The number of outfits you had planned for this trip was not negotiable with the size of your suitcase. And that's why you finally decided to add another travel bag

The boys had already arrived at the beach house,  it was agreed that you would join them shortly after their arrival. They'd had to go there a few days before because of some big campfire party on the beach or something like that, but to be honest, you hadn't followed it up. You were too busy organizing your bikini collection when Heeseung came to tell you about their supposedly amazing program.  

The plan was for you to take the bus-- the perks of being broke --and for Heeseung to pick you up at the nearest bus station. Knowing that the journey was going to take some time, you took along a book, earplugs, and a sleep mask. Not wanting to be disturbed during the nap you were about to take. It had been an emotional week, and you'd lost count of the sleepless nights you'd spent studying or crying over the fact that you'd been cheated on...

The bus ride seemed to stretch endlessly, with the rumble of the engine and the gentle swaying of the vehicle creating a soothing backdrop for some well-deserved rest. As the miles passed by, you found yourself drifting off into a peaceful slumber, finally able to catch up on the sleep that had eluded you for so long. 

When you finally arrived at the small coastal town, you were surprised to find that Heeseung was not waiting for you at the station. Instead, you spotted Jake leaning against his car with a relaxed smile, ready to greet you.

You wiped away any trace of surprise from your face to avoid appearing hostile. You grinned back at him as you struggled towards him with your luggage.

Seeing you struggling with your bags, Jake reacted immediately and came to help you by taking both of them off your hands. "Hey! Let me help you with that."

He lifted them with ease, and it was hard not to notice his biceps flexing as he carried them. You thanked him for this gesture and followed him to his car. You couldn't help but notice the sun-kissed glow on his skin, evidence of the few days he had spent outdoors. His arms, displayed in a sleeveless shirt, revealed his noticeable nice tan.

As you gazed at him, you silently thanked yourself for wearing sunglasses. You didn't want to appear too intrusive, but couldn't help but admire him. The way the ocean breeze played with his hair and the sunlight kissed his skin was simply perfect.

"Hope the ride wasn't too rough," Jake said as he loaded your bags into the trunk. "Heeseung got caught up with a bad hangover, so he asked me to pick you up instead."

"Thank you, Jake. It was fine. Just long," you replied, sliding into the passenger seat.

As you both made your way to the beach house, you couldn't help but admire the short yet scenic drive, with the picturesque coastline providing a perfect backdrop. Despite the beautiful view, your mind kept wandering back to Jake. Heeseung's best friend was even more attractive than you could remember, and his easygoing smile made your heart skip a beat.

--

The beach house surpassed all expectations with its charming white-washed walls, expansive windows that flooded the rooms with natural light, and an awe-inspiring panoramic view of the ocean. Upon arrival, Jake graciously assisted you with your luggage and guided you to your beautifully appointed room.

"This is your room. Make yourself at home," he said, opening the door to a cozy room with a large window overlooking the beach. The walls were painted a soft, calming blue, and the bed was piled high with fluffy white pillows and a matching comforter. 

"I hope you'll find it comfortable. If you need anything, my room is right next door."

"It’s perfect, thank you," you said, admiring the view of the sun beginning to set over the water.

Jake's warm smile lingered in the doorway as he extended an invitation. "We're having a barbecue tonight. You should join us," he said. 

"I'd love that," you replied, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. The idea of spending the evening with Jake and Heeseung sounded wonderful.

As the sun began to set, you changed into a light sundress and joined the group outside. The backyard of the beach house was spacious, with a wooden deck that led down to the sandy beach. String lights were hung around the area, casting a warm, inviting glow. Heeseung, looking a bit worse for wear from his hangover, was manning the grill, while Jake was setting up a bonfire nearby. The sound of laughter and the smell of grilling food filled the air, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a sense of peace.

"Hey, you made it!" Heeseung exclaimed with a wide grin as he caught sight of you. "Feeling better?"

"Much better," you replied, sinking into the chair beside Jake, who handed you a plate of delicious food.

"You look great," Jake remarked, his gaze lingering on the delicate fabric of your sundress before meeting your eyes with a warm smile. "I hope you're hungry. We've got plenty of food."

"I am, actually. Thanks," you said, feeling a pleasant flutter in your stomach at his compliment.

As the evening progressed, you found yourself drawn to Jake's easygoing nature and genuine kindness. The conversation flowed effortlessly between the three of you, and for the first time in weeks, you felt like yourself again.

But beneath the surface, there was a tension brewing, a silent acknowledgment of the forbidden nature of your growing attraction to Jake. Heeseung may have been your brother, but there was an unspoken rule about his best friend being off-limits.

As the night wore on, the deep navy sky was adorned with twinkling stars, creating a mesmerizing spectacle overhead. Despite the enchanting atmosphere, you couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to be closer to Jake. But you pushed those thoughts aside, reminding yourself of the complications that would arise if you were to act on your feelings.

You thought of every shared laugh and exchanged glances, the connection between you two only grew stronger, deepening with every passing moment. And for the first time in days, you went to bed thinking about things other than your breakup.

--

The next morning, the sound of waves crashing against the shore and the faint calls of seagulls served as your natural alarm clock. You stretched languidly in bed, feeling more rested than you had in weeks. The gentle warmth of the morning sun filtered through the curtains, inviting you to start your day.

You took your time getting ready, savoring the peace and quiet. The beach house was still and calm, the boys probably still asleep or nursing their hangovers. After slipping into a comfortable pair of shorts and a tank top, you headed downstairs to find some breakfast.

In the kitchen, you found Jake already up, sipping on a cup of coffee and scrolling on his phone. He looked up as you entered, his face breaking into a smile.

"Morning," he greeted, setting his mug down. "I made some coffee. Want some?"

"Yes, please," you replied, returning his smile. "Thanks."

He poured you a cup and handed it to you. "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I have in a long time," you admitted, taking a sip of the rich, aromatic coffee. "This place is amazing."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it," he said, his eyes softening as he looked at you. "We were worried you might find it a bit overwhelming, especially after everything you've been through."

You appreciated his concern but shook your head. "No, this is exactly what I needed. Thank you for inviting me."

Jake shrugged modestly. "It was the least we could do."

You both fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying your coffee and the tranquil morning atmosphere. Heeseung stumbled wearily into the kitchen, with his tousled hair and bleary eyes. Despite his fatigue, he wore a warm smile.

"Morning, sunshine," you teased, watching as he squinted at the bright light streaming in through the windows.

"Ugh, morning," he grumbled, reaching for a cup of coffee. "What are you guys up to today?"

"I was thinking of going for a swim," Jake said, glancing at you. "You up for it?"

"Absolutely," you replied, feeling a thrill of excitement at the prospect of spending more time with him.

--

The water was refreshingly cool against your skin as you waded into the ocean. Jake was already out further, diving into the waves with ease. Heeseung had chosen to remain at the house, still recovering from his rough night and promising to join you later.

You took a deep breath and dove under the crystal-clear water, feeling the stress of the past few weeks melt away. When you resurfaced, Jake was gracefully swimming towards you, his radiant smile contrasting against the dazzling backdrop of the sparkling sea.

"This is perfect," you said, floating on your back and looking up at the clear blue sky.

"Yeah, it is," Jake agreed, floating beside you. "I'm glad you came here."

You turned your head to look at him, feeling a rush of affection for the boy who had shown you such kindness. "Me too."

For a while, you both just floated there, enjoying the serenity of the moment. Then, Jake's playful side emerged as he splashed you with water, making you laugh.

"Hey!" you protested, splashing him back.

A water fight ensued, full of laughter and playful shouts. It was a liberating feeling, letting go of your worries and just having fun. After a while, you both retreated to the shore, exhausted but happy.

You collapsed onto the sand, catching your breath. Jake sat beside you, his damp hair glistening in the sunlight.

"Thanks for that," you said, looking over at him. "I haven't had that much fun in ages."

"Anytime," he replied, his gaze meeting yours. There was a moment of silence, the air between you charged with unspoken feelings.

Before you could say anything, Heeseung appeared on the deck, waving you both over. "Lunch is ready!"

Reluctantly, you got up and followed Jake back to the house. The rest of the day passed in a blur of delicious food, beach games, and laughter. However, as the sun began to set, you found yourself drawn to Jake once more.

--

That evening, as the sky turned shades of orange and pink, you found yourself sitting on the beach with Jake. Heeseung had retired early, leaving the two of you alone.

"Tell me something about you I don't know," Jake said suddenly, his gaze fixed on the horizon.

You thought for a moment. "I used to want to be a marine biologist when I was a kid," you confessed. "I loved the ocean and everything in it."

Jake smiled. "I can see that. You seem so at peace here."

"Yeah," you agreed, feeling a pang of nostalgia. "What about you? Any childhood dreams?"

"I wanted to be a pilot," he said with a chuckle. "Flying seemed like the ultimate freedom."

"Do you still want that?" you asked, curious.

"Not really," he admitted. "I've found other passions."

"Like what?"

"Like music," he said, surprising you. "I love playing the guitar. It’s become a big part of who I am."

"I had no idea," you said, genuinely intrigued. "You'll have to play for me sometime."

"I'd like that," he said, his eyes meeting yours. There was a warmth in his gaze that made your heart race.

The moment stretched out, filled with possibilities. You wanted to lean in, to close the distance between you. But the fear of what it might mean held you back.

Instead, you just smiled at him, "It's getting late. We should probably head back."

Jake nodded, though a subtle flicker of disappointment crossed his face. "Yeah, you're right."

As you walked back to the house, the tension between you remained, simmering just below the surface. And for the first time, you allowed yourself to wonder what it would be like to give in to that tension, to see where it might lead.

--

The days at the beach house began to blend in a blissful routine. Mornings started with coffee and easy conversation with Jake, followed by long, lazy afternoons spent on the beach. Heeseung often joined you two, but there were moments when it was just you and Jake, and those were the times you cherished the most.

One evening, after another barbecue dinner, Jake suggested a walk along the beach. The air was cool and refreshing, and the moon cast a silver glow over the water. 

You walked in comfortable silence, the only sounds being the gentle crash of waves and the occasional call of a seagull.

"Can I ask you something?" Jake's voice broke the silence, his tone tentative.

"Of course," you replied, curious.

"How are you really doing? With everything that's happened... with Sungchan," he said, his eyes searching yours.

You sighed, looking out at the ocean. "It's been tough. I thought I was over it, but being here, away from everything, has made me realize how much it still hurts."

Jake nodded, his expression sympathetic. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. You deserve so much better."

"Thanks, Jake," you said softly, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. "It's getting easier, though. Being here helps. You and Heeseung have made it better."

"I'm glad we could help," he said, his voice sincere.

You continued walking, your hands brushing occasionally as you walked close together. Each touch sent a spark of electricity through you, and you couldn't deny the growing attraction you felt for Jake. But you also knew that pursuing anything with him could complicate things, especially with Heeseung being your brother.

--

Later that night, after the walk, everyone decided to sit on the deck and have a few drinks. The sound of laughter filled the air as they shared stories and reminisced about old times. The stars overhead twinkled brightly, creating a perfect backdrop for the evening.

After several drinks, you felt the alcohol coursing through your veins, making you bolder and more carefree. Heeseung had already stumbled off to bed, leaving you and Jake alone under the stars. 

After a short while, Jake noticed you yawning and realized it was time to tuck you into bed.

"Jake..." you slurred slightly as you made your way through the room, leaning closer to him. "You told me that if I needed anything, your room was next door. Do you remember?"

"Yes, of course, Y/N," Jake replied, his brow furrowing with concern. "What do you need?"

You looked at him, your eyes filled with a mix of longing and desperation. "I need you."

Jake's eyes widened, and he took a step back, his face conflicted. "Y/N, you're drunk. I can't—"

"Please," you whispered, reaching out to touch his arm. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

Jake gently took your hand, his expression pained. "I can't, Y/N. Not like this. You're not thinking clearly, and I don't want to do anything we'll regret."

Tears filled your eyes as you nodded, understanding his reluctance. "Okay," you whispered, pulling your hand away. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said gently, his voice filled with concern. "Let's get you to bed, okay?"

He kindly ushered you through your room, making sure you were comfortable before he left. Ensuring that you were settled in before bidding you goodnight. As you lay in bed, the events of the night unfolded in your mind like a vivid movie, and you found yourself experiencing a complex blend of embarrassment and relief.

Jake had done the right thing, even though it stung in the moment. You knew that you needed to sort out your feelings and find a way to move forward without the haze of alcohol clouding your judgment. And as you drifted off to sleep, you resolved to face your emotions head-on, knowing that Jake would be there to support you, no matter what.

--

The next morning, you woke up with a slight headache, the events of the previous night replaying in your mind. You cringed at the memory of your drunken confession to Jake and wondered how you would face him. Taking a deep breath, you got out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, hoping a strong cup of coffee would help you feel more human.

When you entered the kitchen, you found Jake already there, making breakfast. He looked up and smiled warmly at you. "Morning. How are you feeling?"

You managed a small smile in return. "A bit hungover, but I'll survive. Thanks for helping me last night."

Jake poured you a cup of coffee and handed it to you. "No problem. How about some breakfast? Might help with the hangover."

You nodded, grateful for his kindness. As you sat down, you couldn't help but notice the way he moved around the kitchen with ease, his presence comforting.

After a few moments of silence, you decided to address the elephant in the room. "Jake, about last night... I'm sorry if I made things awkward."

Jake sat down across from you, his expression gentle. "You don't need to apologize, Y/N. I understand. You were vulnerable, and the alcohol didn't help. But I'm glad we didn't do anything we might regret."

You nodded, appreciating his honesty. "Thank you for that. I guess I was just feeling a bit lost."

"It's understandable," he said, reaching out to squeeze your hand briefly. "But we're here for you. And I'm here for you, as your friend."

His words brought a sense of comfort, and you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. "Thanks, Jake. I appreciate it."

The rest of the day was spent in a relaxed manner, with you, Jake and Heeseung enjoying the beach and each other's company. The awkwardness from the previous night slowly faded away, replaced by a renewed sense of camaraderie.

One evening, a few days later, you found yourself sitting on the beach alone, watching the sunset. The colors were breathtaking, and the gentle sound of the waves provided a soothing backdrop to your thoughts. You had been reflecting on your time at the beach house, the moments shared with Jake, and how much you had grown to care for him.

As if on cue, Jake appeared beside you, sitting down on the sand. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," you replied, smiling at him.

You both sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the sun dip below the horizon. Finally, Jake broke the silence. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said the other night."

You turned to look at him, your heart beating a little faster. "You have?"

He nodded, his gaze steady. "Yeah. And I want you to know that my feelings for you haven't changed. I care about you, Y/N, more than just as Heeseung's sister."

Your breath caught in your throat. "Jake..."

Before you could respond, a voice interrupted the moment. "Y/N?"

You turned to see Sungchan standing a few feet away, looking awkward and out of place. "Sungchan? What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," he said, his eyes darting between you and Jake. "I realized I made a huge mistake, and I want to make things right."

Jake tensed beside you, his jaw clenched. "I don't think now is the time, Sungchan." You answered.

Sungchan ignored him, focusing on you. "Please, Y/N. I know I messed up, but I still love you. Can we at least talk?"

You felt a wave of conflicting emotions. Part of you wanted to tell him to leave, but another part of you felt a need to get closure. "Fine. Let's talk, but not here. Jake, I'll be back soon."

Jake's eyes softened as he nodded, though you noticed a flicker of frustration in his expression. "Okay. I'll be here if you need me."

You walked a short distance away with Sungchan, just far enough to have a private conversation. "What do you want to say, Sungchan?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes filled with regret. "I know I hurt you, and I'm so sorry. I was an idiot, and I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I want to try and make things right. I miss you."

You shook your head, feeling a mix of anger and sadness. "Sungchan, you cheated on me. You broke my trust, and that's not something you can just fix with an apology."

"I know," he said, his voice cracking. "But I want to try. Please, Y/N."

You looked back towards Jake, who was watching you from a distance, his expression unreadable. Turning back to Sungchan, you sighed. "I don't know, Sungchan. You've hurt me so much. Being here has helped me start to heal, and I don’t want to lose that progress."

"I understand," he said, his shoulders slumping. "But I love you, Y/N. I do. I was a fool, and I want to prove that I can change."

You felt a pang of confusion and hesitation. You had loved Sungchan deeply, and part of you still did. But the betrayal was a wound that hadn't fully healed. "I need time, Sungchan. I can't just jump back into things."

He nodded slowly. "I'll give you time. But please, think about it."

You watched him walk away, feeling a strange sense of relief mixed with uncertainty. Returning to Jake, you sat back down beside him, the weight of the conversation heavy on your shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, his voice filled with concern.

"I don't know," you replied honestly. "Sungchan wants to make things right, and part of me still cares about him. But I don’t know if I can ever trust him again."

Jake's jaw tightened, and you saw a flash of jealousy in his eyes. "He hurt you, Y/N. Don't forget that."

You sighed, leaning into him for support. "I know. It's just... complicated."

Jake wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. "It's okay to be confused. Take the time you need to figure things out."

You appreciated Jake's comforting presence and the warmth of his embrace. The waves continued their rhythmic dance, and the stars began to twinkle above, casting a serene glow on the beach. The complexities of your feelings for Sungchan and Jake weighed heavily on your mind, but you knew that rushing into any decision wouldn't be wise. For now, you decided to enjoy the tranquility of the moment, enveloped in Jake's comforting presence.

–--

The next morning, you woke up with a renewed sense of clarity. You decided that while Sungchan deserved a chance to explain himself, you needed to focus on your own healing first. You couldn't rush back into a relationship that had caused you so much pain without giving yourself the time to fully understand your own feelings.

You took a deep breath and stepped out onto the deck, the salty breeze playing with your hair and the sound of waves crashing against the shore providing a soothing background. Heeseung and Jake were already there, chatting and enjoying their morning coffee. The sight of Jake made your heart flutter, but you reminded yourself to stay focused on your own well-being.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Heeseung greeted with a grin. "We were starting to think you'd never wake up."

"Good morning," you replied, smiling as you grabbed a cup of coffee and joined them. "I just needed a little extra sleep."

Jake's eyes met yours, a spark of warmth and something deeper lingering in his gaze. "Sleep is important. You deserve all the rest you need."

You felt a rush of gratitude for his support. Despite the complicated emotions swirling within you, you felt a sense of peace being there, surrounded by the calming waves and the company of people who genuinely cared about you.

The day was spent enjoying the simple pleasures of the beach. You, Heeseung, and Jake walked along the shoreline, the sand warm beneath your feet and the ocean breeze tangling in your hair. The rhythmic sound of the waves provided a soothing backdrop as you explored the coast, collecting seashells and marveling at the intricate patterns etched into each one.

Jake found a particularly beautiful shell, its surface iridescent and shimmering in the sunlight. He handed it to you with a soft smile. "This one's for you. It reminds me of you – beautiful and unique."

You blushed, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "Thank you, Jake. It's lovely."

Heeseung interrupted the moment with a playful shout. "Hey, look at this one!" He held up a large, conch-shaped shell and blew into it, producing a surprisingly loud sound. You and Jake burst into laughter, the sound mingling with the crashing waves.

As you continued walking, the three of you came across a smooth stretch of beach perfect for skipping stones. Heeseung, ever the competitive one, challenged you and Jake to see who could skip a stone the farthest.

"I used to be the champion of skipping stones," Heeseung declared with a grin, selecting a flat stone and expertly sending it skimming across the water's surface.

"Challenge accepted," Jake replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief. He picked up a stone, giving you a quick, encouraging glance before sending it flying with a flick of his wrist. The stone bounced across the water, outdistancing Heeseung's.

"Not bad," you said, smiling at Jake. You chose a stone and took your turn, but it only skipped a couple of times before sinking. "Okay, maybe I need a bit more practice."

Jake laughed and moved closer to you, his hand brushing against yours as he handed you another stone. "Here, let me show you."

You felt a jolt of electricity at his touch, your heart racing as he positioned himself behind you, his arms guiding yours in the correct motion. "Just like this," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. Together, you sent the stone skipping across the water, this time managing several bounces before it sank.

"Much better," Jake said, his voice filled with pride.

You turned to face him, your heart pounding. His eyes lingered on yours, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. The connection between you was undeniable, and it left you both exhilarated and terrified.

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, the heat became more intense, and you decided to take a swim. The water was refreshingly cool against your sun-warmed skin, and you relished the feeling of weightlessness as you floated on your back, staring up at the clear blue sky.

Jake swam over to you, his presence both comforting and electrifying. The way the sunlight danced on the surface of the water reflected in his eyes, making them appear even more captivating.

"This feels good," you said, smiling at him, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah, it does," he replied, his voice soft. "Being here with you makes it even better."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you felt a rush of emotions. You were acutely aware of his proximity, the water doing little to diminish the heat between you. But before you could respond, Heeseung called out from the shore, waving you over to join him for a game of beach volleyball.

Reluctantly, you and Jake swam back to the shore. As you reached the shallows, Jake offered you his hand to help you out of the water. You hesitated for a fraction of a second before taking it, feeling the strength and warmth of his grip as he pulled you up.

"Let's show Heeseung what we've got," Jake said with a wink, his playful confidence infectious.

The three of you set up a makeshift volleyball court using driftwood and an old fishing net Heeseung had found. The game was filled with laughter and friendly banter, the competitive spirit between you all making it even more enjoyable.

Despite your best efforts, Heeseung's volleyball skills were impressive, and he quickly took the lead. Jake, however, was determined not to let him win without a fight. He dove for the ball with impressive agility, his athleticism on full display.

At one point, Jake managed a spectacular save, sending the ball soaring back over the net. He landed in the sand beside you, grinning up at you as he caught his breath. "Not bad, huh?"

"Show-off," you teased, unable to keep the admiration out of your voice.

As the game continued, you found yourself growing more comfortable, the tension between you and Jake easing into a natural rhythm. The playful competition brought out the best in all of you, and for a while, you were able to forget the complexities of your emotions and just enjoy the moment.

By the time you all collapsed onto the sand, sweaty and out of breath, the sun was beginning to dip towards the horizon. Heeseung declared himself the winner with a triumphant grin, while you and Jake laughed and applauded his victory.

"Okay, okay, you win," Jake conceded, still smiling. "But next time, we'll be ready for you."

Heeseung laughed, patting Jake on the back. "We'll see about that. Good game, guys."

As you lay on the sand, watching the sky change colors, Jake turned to you with a thoughtful expression. "Thanks for today, Y/N. It was fun."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you that had nothing to do with the sun. "Yeah, it was. I'm glad we did this."

Jake's eyes lingered on yours, and for a moment, you felt that familiar spark between you. But before either of you could say anything, Heeseung called out, suggesting you head back to the house for dinner.

You got up, brushing the sand off your legs and following Heeseung. Jake walked beside you, his shoulder occasionally bumping against yours in a way that felt both accidental and deliberate. Each touch sent a thrill through you, and you couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to close the distance between you and let yourself fall into his embrace.

Dinner was a casual affair, with Heeseung manning the grill and Jake helping to prepare the sides. You set the table on the deck, the warm evening air filled with the scent of grilling meat and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.

As you all sat down to eat, the conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter and stories from the day. Jake's hand brushed against yours under the table, and you felt a rush of heat at the contact. He didn't pull away, his fingers lingering against yours in a way that felt both comforting and tantalizing.

After dinner, you all decided to take a walk along the beach. The moon had risen, casting a silvery glow over the water and turning the sand into a sparkling carpet. You walked between Jake and Heeseung, the three of you talking and laughing, the day's events still fresh in your minds.

At one point, Heeseung stopped to examine a particularly interesting shell, giving you and Jake a moment of privacy. You turned to Jake, your heart racing as you met his gaze.

"Today was amazing," you said softly, feeling the intensity of his stare.

"It was," he agreed, his voice low. "I wish every day could be like this."

You felt a pang of longing at his words, the same longing reflected in his eyes. Before you could respond, Heeseung called out, showing you the shell he'd found. The moment was broken, but the connection between you and Jake remained, a silent promise of what could be.

That night, as you lay in bed, you replayed the events of the day in your mind. The way Jake's eyes lingered on you, the feel of his hand brushing against yours, the electric charge of his touch. You couldn't deny the growing attraction between you, but you also knew that you needed time to sort out your feelings.

You drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Jake, the warmth of his presence a comforting balm to your soul. For the first time in a long time, you felt a sense of hope, a belief that things could get better.

–

The next morning, you woke up with a mix of determination and dread. You had agreed to meet Sungchan today to discuss what had happened, but the thought of facing him made your stomach churn. You knew it was necessary to get closure and to move on, but it didn't make it any easier.

As you stepped out onto the deck, you found Jake and Heeseung already there, enjoying their morning coffee. The sight of Jake brought a sense of comfort, but also a flutter of nerves. He looked up, his eyes filled with concern as he noticed the tension in your expression.

"Morning," Jake said softly, his gaze lingering on you.

"Morning," you replied, forcing a smile. "I'm meeting Sungchan today."

Jake's jaw tightened slightly, a flicker of jealousy crossing his eyes. "Do you want me to come with you?"

You shook your head, appreciating the offer but knowing you needed to face this on your own. "Thanks, Jake. But I think I need to do this by myself."

He nodded, his expression softening. "Just know that I'm here if you need me."

With a deep breath, you left the beach house and headed to the café where you had agreed to meet Sungchan. The walk seemed to take forever, each step weighed down by the impending confrontation. When you arrived, you saw Sungchan sitting at a table, looking uncomfortable and out of place.

"Y/N," he greeted, standing up as you approached. "Thanks for coming."

"Let's get this over with," you said, taking a seat across from him.

For a moment, there was an awkward silence. Sungchan fidgeted with his cup, avoiding your gaze. Finally, he spoke. "I know I messed up, Y/N. And I'm really sorry. I want to make things right."

You sighed, feeling the weight of his words but also the anger and hurt they couldn't erase. "Sungchan, you cheated on me. You broke my trust. I'm not sure there's any way to make that right."

He looked up, his eyes filled with a mix of regret and something darker. "I know I made a mistake, but it feels like you've moved on pretty quickly. I saw how you were acting with Jake."

His words stung, the accusation laced with jealousy and bitterness. "Jake has been a good friend to me, that's all."

Sungchan's expression hardened. "Really? Because it sure looked like more than that. You were practically throwing yourself at him. It's like you couldn't wait to get over me."

Anger flared in your chest. "That's not fair, Sungchan. You don't get to judge how I handle my feelings after what you did."

He leaned forward, his voice low and harsh. "Maybe if you hadn't been so easy to replace, I wouldn't have looked elsewhere."

The words hit you like a slap, leaving you breathless with shock and hurt. "How dare you."

"Just calling it like I see it," he said, his tone dripping with disdain. "You were all over Jake. Maybe you were just looking for an excuse."

Tears filled your eyes, the pain of his words cutting deep. "I don't have to listen to this." You stood up abruptly, knocking over your chair in your haste to leave.

"You know I'm right," he called after you, but you didn't look back.

You walked back to the beach house, tears streaming down your face. You tried to compose yourself before you arrived, but the emotions were too overwhelming. As you reached the door, you quickly wiped your eyes, hoping no one would notice. But as you stepped inside, Jake was there, his eyes immediately locking onto yours.

"Y/N, what happened?" he asked, concern etched across his face.

You shook your head, trying to hide your tears. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

But Jake wasn't convinced. He gently took your arm, guiding you to your room. "Come on, let's talk."

Once inside, you broke down, the weight of Sungchan's words finally crashing down on you. Jake held you close, his arms wrapping around you protectively.

"He said such awful things," you sobbed. "He made me feel like it was my fault, like I was the one who did something wrong."

Jake pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with anger and tenderness. "None of this is your fault, Y/N. Sungchan is just trying to manipulate you. You're amazing, and you deserve so much better than him."

You looked up at Jake, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. He gently wiped away your tears, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "Thank you, Jake."

He leaned in closer, his forehead resting against yours. "I care about you, Y/N. More than you know."

The intensity of his gaze took your breath away. Before you could overthink it, you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips to his. The kiss was filled with all the emotions you had been holding back – the pain, the longing, the desire.

Jake responded instantly, his arms tightening around you as he deepened the kiss. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of shared passion and comfort.

As the kiss ended, Jake pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. "I am now."

Jake smiled back, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek. "Good. Because I'm not going anywhere."

You spent the rest of the evening together, talking and holding each other, the connection between you growing stronger with every passing moment. For the first time in a long time, you felt a sense of hope and happiness, knowing that you were finally moving forward with someone who truly cared about you.

The next morning, you woke up wrapped in Jake's arms. The warmth and comfort of his presence made it hard to get up, but the sunlight streaming through the window signaled the start of a new day. You gently extricated yourself from his embrace, careful not to wake him, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

As you looked at your reflection, the events of the previous day replayed in your mind. Sungchan's harsh words still stung, but Jake's comfort and support had made all the difference. You knew you were on the path to healing, and you were grateful for Jake's presence in your life.

After getting dressed, you went to the kitchen to make breakfast. The smell of coffee and pancakes soon filled the air, and you heard Jake stirring in the other room. Heeseung joined you shortly after, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Morning, sis," Heeseung greeted with a yawn. "What's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes!" you replied, setting a plate in front of him.

"Smells amazing," Heeseung said, digging in with enthusiasm.

Jake appeared moments later, his hair tousled and a sleepy smile on his face. "Good morning," he said, his eyes lighting up when he saw you.

"Good morning," you replied, feeling a flutter in your chest at the sight of him. "Breakfast is ready."

The three of you sat down to eat, the atmosphere relaxed and filled with easy conversation. Despite the lingering tension from the previous day's confrontation with Sungchan, you felt a sense of peace and normalcy returning.

After breakfast, you decided to spend the day at the beach. The sun was shining, and the water looked inviting. Heeseung suggested a new friendly competition of beach volleyball, and you eagerly agreed, excited for the distraction and for the volleyball revenge.

As you set up the net, Jake walked over to you, his expression serious. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked softly, his eyes searching yours.

You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm okay, Jake. Yesterday was tough, but I'm feeling better today. Thanks to you."

Jake's expression softened, and he reached out to gently squeeze your hand. "I'm here for you, Y/N. Always."

The game of volleyball was just what you needed. You, Jake, and Heeseung played with enthusiasm, the friendly competition lifting your spirits. The laughter and playful banter helped you forget about Sungchan and focus on the present moment.

---

As the sun began to set, you all decided to build a bonfire. The glow of the flames cast a warm light on your faces as you roasted marshmallows and shared stories. Jake sat next to you, his arm casually draped around your shoulders, a silent reassurance of his support.

Heeseung went inside to grab more marshmallows, leaving you and Jake alone by the fire. The crackling flames and the distant sound of the waves created an intimate atmosphere.

"Jake," you began, turning to face him. "I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. You've been amazing."

Jake smiled, his eyes reflecting the firelight. "You don't have to thank me, Y/N. I care about you, and I want to be here for you."

You felt a surge of emotion at his words, and before you knew it, you were leaning in to kiss him. The kiss was gentle at first, but it quickly deepened as you both gave in to the passion that had been building between you.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless. Jake's eyes were filled with intensity, and he brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "I've wanted to do it again for so long," he admitted, his voice husky.

"Me too," you whispered, feeling a mix of excitement and vulnerability.

Jake leaned in to kiss you again, and this time, there was no holding back. The connection between you was undeniable, and you both knew that this was just the beginning of something special.

---

The next few days were filled with moments of closeness and shared affection. You and Jake spent your mornings walking along the beach, your afternoons swimming and lounging in the sun, and your evenings sharing stories and laughter around the bonfire. The bond between you grew stronger with each passing day, and you felt a sense of happiness and contentment that you hadn't felt in a long time.

One evening, as the sun set in a blaze of colors, Jake took your hand and led you down to the water's edge. The gentle waves lapped at your feet as you walked along the shore, the sky painted in hues of pink and orange.

"Y/N," Jake said, his voice soft. "I've been thinking a lot about us. About what happens when we leave here."

You felt a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving the beach house and returning to reality. "Yeah, me too."

"I don't want this to end," Jake continued, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I know things will be different when we go back, but I want to be with you. I want to make this work."

Your heart swelled with emotion at his words. "I want that too, Jake. More than anything."

He smiled, his eyes shining with happiness. "Then let's do it. Let's make this work, no matter what."

You nodded, feeling a sense of determination and hope. "Yes, let's. do it"

Jake pulled you into a tight embrace, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was filled with promise and love. As you stood there, wrapped in his arms, you knew that this was just the beginning of your journey together.

---

The last night at the beach house was bittersweet. You, Jake, and Heeseung sat around the bonfire, reminiscing about the past weeks and making plans for the future. There was a sense of finality in the air, but also a feeling of excitement for what lay ahead.

As the fire burned low, Heeseung excused himself to go to bed, leaving you and Jake alone. You turned to him, your heart heavy with the knowledge that this was your last night at the beach house.

"I'm going to miss this place," you said softly, looking around at the familiar surroundings.

"Me too," Jake replied, his voice filled with emotion. "But we'll always have these memories. And we'll make new ones."

You smiled, feeling a sense of comfort in his words. "Yeah, we will."

Jake leaned in to kiss you, and you melted into his embrace, savoring the feeling of his lips against yours. The kiss started slow, gentle, but quickly deepened, becoming more urgent as if he was trying to convey all the emotions he had been holding back. His hands cupped your face, his touch tender yet firm, and you could feel the warmth of his palms against your skin.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, feeling the heat radiating from his body. The world around you seemed to blur and fade away, leaving only the two of you, tangled in each other. Jake's hands moved from your face to your waist, his fingers tracing soft patterns along your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

As the kiss grew more passionate, you felt a surge of desire coursing through your veins. Your hands roamed over Jake's back, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt, and you could sense his breath hitch as your touch grew bolder. The taste of him, the feel of his lips moving against yours, was intoxicating, making you dizzy with longing.

He captured your lips again, his kiss more demanding, and you responded with equal fervor. You could feel the hunger in his touch, the way his hands roamed over your body, exploring, claiming. His fingers found the hem of your shirt, and with a gentle tug, he lifted it over your head, leaving you exposed to the cool night air.

Jake's eyes darkened as he took in the sight of you, his gaze filled with admiration and desire. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his hands trailing down your sides, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

You felt a flush spread across your cheeks at his words, but there was no time for embarrassment. You reached for his shirt, pulling it off in one swift motion, your fingers grazing the smooth skin of his chest. The feel of his bare skin against yours was electrifying, and you couldn't help but gasp as his hands found their way to your back, pulling you even closer.

The night air was filled with the sound of your mingled breaths and the gentle crash of the waves in the distance. Every touch, every kiss, seemed to heighten your senses, making you acutely aware of every movement, every sensation.

Jake's lips left yours to trail kisses along your jaw, down your neck, his breath hot against your skin. You tilted your head back, giving him better access, and he took full advantage, his mouth leaving a path of burning kisses down to your collarbone.

As the night wore on, the connection between you and Jake grew stronger, the bond forged in shared desire and deep emotion. Every kiss, every touch, seemed to bring you closer together, weaving an unbreakable thread between your hearts.

You lost track of time, lost in the pleasure of each other's embrace, the world outside forgotten. The stars wheeled overhead, a silent witness to the love and passion unfolding beneath them.

As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. The feelings and connection between you were strong enough to withstand anything, and you felt a deep sense of contentment knowing that this was just the start of your journey together.

The night might have been filled with passion and desire, but it was the trust that you shared that truly made it special. As you drifted off to sleep, you felt a sense of hope and happiness that you hadn't felt in a long time, knowing that with Jake by your side, you'll be safe.

---

The next morning, you packed your bags with a mix of sadness and anticipation. The beach house, with all its memories and moments of closeness with Jake, had become a sanctuary, a place where you had found healing and hope. Leaving it behind was bittersweet, but you knew you were also embarking on a new chapter with Jake, and that brought a thrill of excitement.

Jake helped you with your bags, his touch gentle and reassuring. As you both loaded the car, Heeseung appeared, his usual playful grin in place. "Well, it’s been an amazing summer, hasn't it?"

"It really has," you agreed, glancing at Jake, who gave you a warm smile in return.

Heeseung pulled you into a quick hug, then turned to Jake with a knowing look. "Take care of my sister, alright? I might be her older brother, but I’m not that oblivious or blind."

You felt your cheeks flush, realizing what he was implying. "Heeseung, we—"

He held up a hand, cutting you off with a laugh. "No need to explain. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not as oblivious as you might think. I don't usually take that many naps.”

Heeseung gave you both a warm smile, his playful demeanor softening. "Seriously though, take care of each other."

Jake laughed, clapping Heeseung on the back. "I will. Thanks for everything, man."

"Yeah, yeah," Heeseung said with a wink, his finger pointed like a gun in Jake's direction. "Just remember, I know where you live."

You rolled your eyes, feeling a mix of embarrassment and affection for your brother. "Alright, enough with the threats."

With one last look at the beach house, you climbed into the car. The drive back to campus was filled with laughter and shared memories. Jake recounted funny moments from the summer, making you laugh until your sides hurt. The bond between you felt stronger than ever, fortified by the time you had spent together and the experiences you had shared.

As you drove, the scenery changed from the serene coastal views to the bustling streets near your campus. The familiar sights brought a pang of nostalgia for the summer you were leaving behind, but they also stirred a sense of excitement for the future. You glanced at Jake, feeling grateful for his presence and the promise of what lay ahead.

When you finally arrived back at the campus, Jake parked the car and turned to you, his eyes filled with love. "Welcome back," he said softly, leaning in to kiss you.

"Thank you," you replied, your heart swelling with happiness. The kiss was sweet and tender, a preview of all the good things to come.

As you stepped out of the car and looked around, you saw your friends and classmates, their faces filled with curiosity and excitement. Some waved, while others approached to greet you. It felt strange and yet comforting to be back in the familiar surroundings of your campus.

One of your closest friends, Karina, hurried over, her eyes wide with curiosity. "Y/N! You're back! And... Jake?" Her gaze shifted between the two of you, a knowing smile spreading across her face. "So, what’s the story here?"

You exchanged a glance with Jake, who squeezed your hand reassuringly. "It’s a long story," you said, smiling. "But the short version is that Jake and I are together now."

Karina's smile widened. "I knew something was up when you kept mentioning him in your texts. I'm so happy for you!"

As more friends gathered around, you felt a sense of warmth and belonging. Everyone was eager to hear about your summer, and you and Jake shared stories, each one bringing laughter and excitement.

Throughout the day, Jake stayed by your side, his presence a constant source of comfort and joy. The transition from the serene beach house to the lively campus was made easier by his support and the love that had blossomed between you.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the campus, you and Jake found a quiet spot under a large oak tree. You sat together, his arm around you, watching as students milled about, catching up with friends and preparing for the new semester.

"I can't believe summer is over," you said softly, leaning into Jake.

"It might be over, but this is just the beginning for us," Jake replied, his voice filled with conviction. "We have so much to look forward to."

You nodded, feeling a sense of contentment and excitement. "I know. And I'm ready for whatever comes next, as long as we're together."

Jake pressed a kiss to your temple. "We will be."

The evening air was cool and refreshing, and you felt a deep sense of peace as you sat there with Jake. The challenges of the past were behind you, and the future was filled with endless possibilities. You knew that there would be ups and downs, but with Jake by your side, you felt ready to face anything.

As the campus lights flickered on, casting a warm glow over the grounds, you realized that this place, with all its memories and promises, was where your new journey with Jake would truly begin. And you couldn't wait to see what the future holds.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist : @heelovesmeknot @dreamiestay @anormieee @citylightsdoll @tiffanyyamarr-blog @ak-aaa-li @capri-cuntz @dreamiestay

[kathaynesart]

Bit of a random question, but as a teen I'm curious, what would you want to say to kids of today? Any advice?

Hm... every person's life journey is different, but I don't mind giving a few tips based on my personal experiences! If they can help in anyway then I am glad for it!

Ted Talk below the cut.

Life will always change. YOU will change. You may feel stuck or trapped in some aspect of your life right now and are worried that things will never get better. But they do... it will take time, but you will get there so long as you keep moving forward.

Try not to stress too much. All those things that seem like such a big deal right now... most of them will be forgotten within a few years. So it helps when you feel overwhelmed to step back and not let these little (or even big) missteps take control of your life.

No really, go touch grass. I can not express how important it is to disconnect from social media and just be present in the moment. Going out to a cafe or a park to help you unwind and ground yourself. If life allows, try traveling! Even if it's just a road trip. Get out and see and experience different things because those will be the memories that will stick with you!

Change things up. Even if that's just taking a different path to school or trying a different snack. I find that stepping away from the mundane daily schedule helps bring so much more variety to my life and helps me be more present in the moment.

Be flexible. Especially in your goals and expectations. We're expected at such a young age to choose our destination in life, when it's the journey itself that we should be seeking. So while it's great to have goals, do not make them so rigid that you will deem yourself a failure should they not come to pass. Often times it's the things that surprise us in life that help lead us to opportunities we had never even considered.

Your worth does not come from what you produce, or how many milestones you hit, or how much money you make. It is something you give yourself as you relearn time and time again to love yourself.

Your health is important! It is something we often take for granted when we’re younger but it will mean so much as you age. Also should you feel that you’re ever in pain or unwell, speak up. There are so many instances of people coming to greater harm because they only listened to the first doctor who brushed them off. Seek a second opinion. Know that your body is worth proper care!

Just because you have to grow old does not mean you have to "grow up." Those things you loved that sparked joy in you as a kid? Hold onto them or find new ways to instill them into your life. Keep that passion and remember what fun is! Because you will need it just as much when you're older. It is a major ingredient in the spice of life.

Remember, you ARE special. You may not feel like it... but the fact that you exist is such a mind boggling feat in this vast universe of mostly empty space. While that may be difficult to grasp as we are, stuffed in this tiny jewelry box we call Earth, that does not make any one of us any less special in the grand scheme of things. And in this tiny but overflowing box of treasures, there is no gem that is quite like you. You managed against all odds to come into existence. That is AMAZING. Congratulations! Hard part is already done. Now go shine!

[moonlit-stay]

Listen...I've been fighting demons trying not to write about this since I saw it, but how the fuck can I not????

The way we've been fed so, so well with both cellist and swimmer Anton these past couple months?? I'm going insane, someone hold me the FUCK back !!

The thought of swimming with this man makes me wanna gnaw on steel bricks so bad. So, to cope, here's my thoughts

Swimming with Anton was always something you enjoyed. Whether it was a public pool on a summer's day, a hotel pool in the middle of the night, a sunset swim at the beach, or a sunrise swim in a lake, watching him in his element as he does yet another thing that he's absolutely amazing at never failed to make your heart swell with admiration, and your thighs press together from arousal.

However, today, you're sat at the edge of a public pool that Anton somehow managed to get private access to. It was closed when you arrived, the door that held the pool securely on the other side locked tight and Anton watched as you visibly deflated when you realized the situation. He softly smiled at you when you looked up at him, pulling a key out of his bag and swiftly unlocking the door. You looked at him bewildered as he quietly chuckled at your expression, taking your hand in his and pulling you into the room.

Now, here you are, sat at the edge of the pool, your legs swaying back and forth in the water as you take in the sun that gently pours in through the windows that line the wall of the room. You watch Anton swim across the length of the pool, his toned body on full display as he swiftly glides through the water. When he reaches the far end of the pool, he pulls his goggles off his face, setting them off to the side before he runs his hands through his hair. His chest is rising and falling rapidly and you can't help but let your eyes roam down his torso, the way the water beads down his skin and over the ridges of his muscles has your mouth watering.

Anton peers over at you, immediately noticing the look in your eyes as a smile spreads across his beautiful face. You didn't even notice him staring back at you until he started swimming towards you, your gaze moving to his warm, brown orbs that were already staring back at you, mirroring the lust in your eyes. Once he reaches you, his hands come to rest on either side of your hips as he pushes himself out of the water. He's nestled between your parted thighs, his smile still evident on his features as he leans over you, pressing his lips to yours.

You gasp into the kiss when you feel the cold water drip from Anton's body and onto yours, breaking the kiss as a shiver runs up your spine. He giggles in response, settling back into the water and carefully pulling you in with him.

You immediately cling to his body, sharp gasps leaving your lips as your warm body struggles to adapt to the cold water.

"Easy, baby. I've got you." He quietly tells you, holding you close to him as you take deep breaths to steady your breathing as you get used to the temperature.

You feel Anton's hands glide down your sides before he pulls your thighs to wrap around his waist. He reconnects his lips with yours as he walks you back towards the edge of the pool, pressing your back against the wall as a soft gasp leaves your lips. He uses this opportunity to trail kisses down your neck, nipping at the skin as you softly moan out for him.

You can feel his hard length resting against your core, and you involuntarily roll your hips against his when he bites down on your sweet spot. A moan slips past his lips in response and he's moving quickly to push his and your own swimwear out of the way so he can push into you.

You still don't know what strings your boyfriend pulled to be able to have this space just for the two of you, but when he thrusts deep into your heat, using the water that encapsulates your joined bodies to bring you down harder on his cock, that thought is the last thing on your mind.

@bearbeom it's after midnight and I'm going insane...

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

Could I please request 17, Idia x reader? Thanks!!

A/N: again with randomly dropping content and then disappearing but I suppose that's just how it is. Anyways in case you were wondering I'm still stuck on Chapter 6 so here's some Idia content just in case he decides to be forgiving with me :,)

Ask: #17: Tucking their hands beneath the other person’s shirt, just to watch them break the kiss and gasp in surprise at the sensation of cold/warm hands on their skin.

You loved your boyfriend more than anything in the world but sometimes he could be denser than a brick. It always amazed you just how oblivious he could be when it came to certain things and then a genius about everything else. His mathematics and engineering? Stellar! His social responses? His ability to take a hint? God awful. No one had told you how hard it would be to have a gamer boyfriend but you were seeing now that it required just as much, if not more work than an average relationship. Not that you minded; you always liked a challenge. 

Your current predicament was one you had experienced several times before, you just weren’t sure what to do. Idia obviously loved you and adored having you around but his social awkwardness and fear of the outside world made it hard for him to do anything besides games and experiments. It wasn’t uncommon for him to invite you over and you end up sitting on his bed while he cackled deviously into his mic while he took out the opposing team almost single handedly and then complained about “nerfed” characters. 

Most of the time you were totally down, either working on homework or a project or using your laptop to game as well but some days like today, you were craving a little more… stimulation. You stared at him with contemplative eyes, a part of you completely infatuated with his passion and excitement over the game, another part of you begging him to look away from the screen for just a second and notice you. Finally the defeat scene flashed across his screen and he scowled at it with contempt. You jumped at the opportunity to grab his attention before he delved into a new game. 

“Idia?” you slid into a seated position on his bed. He turned and looked at you expectedly as his thumbs moved over the controller to start up a new game. “Could you come lay with me for a second?”

The tips of his hair flared pink for a second and his cheeks stained the same color. He looked at his screen for a moment and muttered something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like “oh gods it’s a boss level.” 

Finally he stood and nodded awkwardly as he moved over to the bed. You slid back until your back touched the wall and waited patiently for him to sit on the edge of the bed and stiffly move into a lying down position. Despite appearances Idia was quite large and took up a pretty decent amount of space so the twin XL administered to each dorm room wasn’t exactly spacious enough for the two of you to lay side by side. 

When you saw that he was comfortable you promptly scooted down and maneuvered yourself until you were laying on top of him. Your head rested on his chest while your legs tangled in the messy comforter. He made a nervous noise and you couldn’t help but smile as you saw the blue glow around you turn a steady pink color. 

“Aren’t I uncomfortable? I’m probably too bony to stand for very long.” You rolled your eyes at Idia’s antics and pushed yourself up to peck him on the lips in between each word.

“You. Are. Perfectly. Comfortable.” When you finished he blushed a deep pink and looked at you with wide eyes.

“I knew it, you were using an Ultimate halfway through the battle to revive to full HP so you could K/O me with one move.” He stammered out and you laughed. 

“You’re partially right Idia, I was reviving to full HP. But you haven’t even seen my Ultimate yet. I’ve been charging up for it by laying on top of you and now you will suffer my most powerful attack.” You grinned and leaned forward to press your lips to his in a long and slow kiss. It was only pressing your lips together but that was what made it such a dangerous attack. It left the receiver feeling unsatisfied.

You pulled back only a little so your breath was mingling, it wasn’t the most comfortable position but that didn’t matter so much as Idia took a breath and then pushed himself up so you met again. 

Your eyes fluttered closed and comfortable warmth flooded all around you as he heated up in response to the contact. He never got hot enough to burn you but when you were together he had a tendency to run warm. His lips moved against yours hungrily as he got bolder, hesitancy and insecurity slipping away as you kissed. 

One hand slid up to your thigh and he gripped you gently as he sat up, moving you into a sitting position on his lap. The hand rose a bit higher and you didn’t even notice he had slipped it under your shirt until his fingers grazed your stomach. You gasped and he chuckled when you pulled away before burying his face in your neck as his fingers slid higher and higher until they were running along your ribs. You bit your lips and pouted at him. 

“What?” Idia smirked, “Couldn’t handle my Ultimate attack huh? Did you really think I’d let you win?”

[nathaslosthershit]

Team USA (AA23)

(Part of the Blind Items Series [can be read on its own])

Summary: Blind items is back with a new victim, Alex Albon and his American Mclaren race engineer of a girlfriend. With the news comes a very interesting Team Torque episode.

Logan laughed when he saw the tweet. He had been making fun of Alex for his newfound patriotism. Since Alex had started having feelings for this girl, he had been asking Logan for help trying to ‘woo’ her, as if Logan hasn’t actually lived in the US since he was twelve. But his teammate helped him, happy that Alex was not teasing him about America anymore. 

Team Torque:

“Hello everyone, this is Team Torque with Alex and Logan. We are here with our very own special guest! She is a race engineer for McLaren”

“And you girlfriend.” Logan quickly adds.

“And my girlfriend. Thanks for the help Logan.” Alex says, sarcastically. “As usual, this podcast is a mess and will probably not be getting better so apologies for that.”

“We aren’t the best hosts.” Logan adds.

“No we are not. Moving on, would you like to introduce yourself?” Alex asks.

“Yes! Thank you boys. As they said, I am a race engineer for Mclaren.”

“And my girlfriend.” Alex interrupts, copying Logan's previous remark.

“And Alex’s girlfriend.”

“And a fellow American.” Logan adds. 

“Would you boys like to introduce me instead? You seem to be so enthusiastic about it.” She jokes.

Alex had been begging for a while to have her on Team Torque. The team had said if they wanted a race engineer they should have one of their own but both him and Logan were insistent that she join them. After the rumors came out, Williams decided it was best if they brought her to gain control of the narrative again. It helped that she was already well loved by the Williams crew. While she would never help them, as that would be traitorous to her beloved team, she had made friends with a few of the other engineers and had jokingly been offered a job by James Vowles a few times. 

“Sorry honey, we are just excited.” Alex said.

“Yeah! Team America back together.” Logan enthusiastically added. The two had become close since they met, giving Alex a taste of his own medicine by making fun of his ‘Britishness’. He wasn’t too happy at their joint effort to make fun of him but he supposed that it was a good thing they got along so well. 

“Anyway, go on, say a bit about yourself.”

“Okay, as mentioned I am from the US. I was born and raised in New York.”

“Yuck” Logan teased.

“Don’t even start Florida man. I worked for Arrow McLaren’s IndyCar team in the same position, shoutout to my IndyCar family, I love you all lots. Then eventually Zak Brown asked me to come to F1 and I happily joined. Through working for them I met Lando who introduced me to Alex and a few years later we now both live in Monaco together.”

“How was the switch to F1 from IndyCar?” Logan asked.

“Rough at first. IndyCar has a much different sort of atmosphere than Formula 1 as well as fanbase. Plus moving out of the US for the first time was difficult. But it has also been such an amazing opportunity that I can’t complain too much. I am so happy where I am now.” Alex hadn’t known her when she had first gotten to Formula 1 but he had heard stories about how difficult it was. She had shared a lot with him but he also knew it was hard as he hadn't had to do the same. His experiences being a Thai and British driver had helped him understand some, but women were still such a rarity in F1, even if they preached gender equality in the sport, they didn't actually do as much as they could to make it a safe space for women to work. He also realized why she and Logan got along so well. Even if they hadn’t grown up close to each other, their shared identity of being an American in a primarily European sport had brought them together. 

The interviewing portion stopped after there, as Alex and Logan were terrible interviewers, but the conversations were still entertaining and it had become viral once it was uploaded. Viewers were excited to see Alex and his girlfriend, as well as Team USA.

mclaren

mclaren  williamsracing we will keep her if you don’t mind 

alex_albon Idk you might want to keep an eye on her

williamsracing may the best team win ;)

logansargeant Team USA can't be stopped

[totallylala]

pick a pile: Your current Feminine energy

How to properly pick a pile: take a deep breath, in through the nose, out through your mouth, slowly. Say your name, 3 times to call your energy back to you. Say out loud, the title of the PAC, then close your eyes. Out loud, say Pile one, and wait. Pile 2, and wait. Pile 3, and wait. With your eyes closed, your Soul will guide you to the pile you need to hear from through signs from your body. See when you yawn, or burp? That's the pile for you.

This is a collective reading. It addresses a large crowd throughout time and space. Not every single thing can resonate with you. It is not a personal reading. So, only receive what aligns with your Heart and leave what doesn't.

Triggers: My readings can be triggering as per the depths I connect to. If you feel violently upset about the reading, breathe and check in with your Heart. You always have a choice to accept the truth, or reject it. Everything is a choice.

Pile One: I choose to focus on the good.

There is a lot of avoidance energy in this pile; Feminines who consciously choose to ignore certain part of the Feminine collective and focus solely on the parts that bring them what they want, on the part that fit their own narratives.

I’m seeing that, here, Feminine energy is used for a purpose only, on its own you see no use to the Feminine energy. You have a very limited vision of it. Your vision of the Feminine very much the one the toxic Masculine has. It is similar to the vision of the Feminine Patriarchy holds: a Feminine that has a very specific use and should therefore be used for that purpose and nothing else.

It is a vision that traps Feminine energy into a role, behind a golden cage, which closes you off from amazing opportunities. 

You seek the Feminine energy as weak and unable to take you where you desire, protect you, provide for you.

'Let your creativity pay you.' I hear. But you also have a distorted view of creative energy.

Your Jupiter suffers greatly. Because you have this amazing planet of expansion and abundance which desires to bring you opportunities for growth, for wisdom, for knowledge and for prosperity, but you reject them all constantly.

The energy of this pile as a Feminine is one of a Dog: loyal to the Masculine that has trained them into fearing change, fearing their own power and fear of standing in your own power. You’ve been trained into servitude and obedience to a master that….is that Masculine master treating you well, Feminine?

You feel like you have no choice but obey and stick to the Masculine’s side regardless how wrong and detestable their views are against everything that you are, want to be, and need, because you were made to believe that this is all you can aspire to. I am sensing some of you Pile one are stuck in a moral battle following the US elections.

I am feeling so many Feminines in this piles resenting Feminism and thinking it is the source of their struggles. They don’t want to work, they don’t want to hustle and suffer…. Who said you had to?

Feminism is the movement that fought for women to have the right to educate themselves and read books. It is the moment that gave you the right to no longer be property but a person, as such you no longer belong, by law to the male of your house (father or elder brother or uncle, etc) first, and then your husband. You are a person in your own right. Feminism gave you the right to vote in the society you live in. Feminism is the mouvement that gave you the right to choose whether you want to have children or not. It is the moment that brought to light the sexual violence women, married or not, faced at the hands of men. Being forced into pregnancy by non consensual sex. The moment fought for the end of slavery so all women could be free and not belong to any man. It gave you the right to travel on your own, and be outside of your house without a chaperone.

Educate yourself before resenting the freedom you enjoy. The hard life you resent is the result of capitalism and patriarchy. Greed of the riches impovering those who have less than them, and resentment at women seeking to build a life of their own and no longer being propriety for men to violate led to measures to push women back into unions that not only dimmed their light, but also completely stole it from them. It is an entirely different thing.

Understand that as a Feminine being, you are a creator. Once you reconnect to the energy of fertility and creation, you will be able to create the life you desire as you desire to.

Your joy is the ultimate creator. Your joy and your pleasure. 

Can you say with honesty that you feel complete joy at your life and the person that you are? Can you say that your body lights up at the thought of going through with your day? Do you smile randomly throughout your day knowing you are exactly who you dream of being at the bottom of your heart and you made your dream come true for yourself? 

Can you look into the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself with your whole heart?

Pile 1, the card ‘Answer the call’ came for you.

It seems you have felt disconnected from your Feminine energy, from your life or even your Heart lately. I feel a singing that has stopped. A heart that used to be buzzing with so much energy that now no longer vibrates on this frequency, the buzzing can no longer be heard.

You are called from the depths of your own being, to find yourself again. Before you are lost to the shame, the guilt, and the darkness that has slowly been consuming you, before you become this person that lives on auto pilote and moves through the motion of life without truly being there, forever. It is not too late. All it takes is the courage to put a step in front of the others towards another door.

I am being shown a situation where it is not safe for a Feminine to be who they want to be, because of their family, the people they live with and depend on.

I am shown to start the inner work, as you reclaim thee lost pieces of your own self, you will gain strength and be able to receive more opportunities. These opportunities will align you with your freedom. It’ll be a slow but steady journey into reclamation of your Feminine and reclamation of your joy and life.

You have to look at this whole situation, and who you are in a different light. First, you have to be honest with yourself. I feel like you refuse to face the truth because deep down, you hate yourself. You hate that you cannot be this Feminine goddess who rests, loves, makes loves to a counterpart that loves you gently. You dream of softness and beauty and art and you hate who you’ve settled to become instead. You have told yourself your dreams cannot come true, it’s unrealistic and you hate on women and Feminine beings who experience the love, the ease, the flow and joy you crave. I am seeing you send so much evil eye and negative energy towards other women. There is also for some of you a racism angle to this: you particularly hate on Black women who have what you don’t. You were told you were better than Black women, that they were the bottom of the food chain, and so you don’t understand nor can accept when a Black woman is being loved as you desire to be love (but aren’t, earning lots of money, being successful and living the life you aspire to but haven’t achieve.

I feel this wound of envy, hatred and anger in my left side, on the middle back. It is so sharp it hinders my breathing. 

Until you admit to yourself the envy and hatred you hold in your heart and why, it’ll continue not only to eat you alive, but hinder you from actually healing, and creating the life of your dreams. You cannot free yourself and step into your Divine Feminine self from a place of hatred towards the Divine Feminine.

Pile Two: I choose Joy, I surrender.

Exhaustion is the first word that resonated into my space as I felt this pile.

You are at the end of a long road, Pile 2. You have stopped pretending. I am seeing this is no longer something you’re willing to do. The energies of Sekhmet and Lilith came forward so strongly, like a powerful whoosh. A gust of wind that filled the space.

You put your foot down, pile 2. You decided to stop pretending, playing princess and actually become a fucking Queen.

You decided the Feminine you aspire to become was worth the destruction of the person you currently were, and the life you led along with it.

And the Dark Feminine is showing up to support your transformation journey. Destruction is what leads to creation. Only by destroying what no longer has a place in your life can you have the space to create what you truly desire.

I am seeing so much red and crimson and a deep burgundy. I am seeing light coming from a fire so pure. You are in the process of reconnecting to your Dark Feminine by unleashing your rage. It is giving you the strength necessary to set the world ablaze.

“As long as you choose Love, you choose you,” Sekhmet says. “It takes strength to choose Love, no matter what. It is a lonely road and not many have the courage to walk a path by their own selves.”

Validate yourself. 

Have pride in your choice, knowing not many have the courage to make the same one.

This transformation cycle of yours will be extremely busy. It’ll bring so many feelings up to the surfaces that you will need to discuss with the Feminines around you. I see a lot of discussions and receptivity as well. Friendsips will end as you no longer ar e willing to compromise on your Heart, your principles and it is important to let them go. You will receive connections that don’t demand you to betray your Heart, and will allow you to be your fullest and truest self.

Be gentle with yourself along this process, understand it is a journey. You will slip up; You will hesitate. It’s okay to fear loosing it all. It’s okay to need a minute. Just keep asking your Heart, feeling your rage, and having the courage to demand more. From the world and from yourself.

It is not a time for you to mindlessly argue though, Spirit is showing me to not bother with communication with those whom you feel just want to argue. If you sense they are not connecting to your Heart but instead wants your attention, your time… let them go and rest your voice.

In a time of transformation, your Mind cannot be the compass, you must learn to trust your Heart. This is where your Dark Feminine lies, where your power lies. In times of transformation, chaos surrounds you and you cannot see clearly through it. Your Heart can as it your Soul. Trust that. Even if none of the steps it guides you to take make sense. Trust your Self.

Pile Three: I was born to be free, I choose to be free.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see Pile 3?

I see a swan and beautiful pink roses, blooming incessantly. I see an elegant dive to the depths of the lake. I see a graceful glide over the unperturbed waters. I see ease. I see flow.

But you don’t see that. You feel as if you’re not there yet. You feel like you haven’t connected to your Feminine energy, as if you’re not doing the right things. Feminine energy isn’t doing, it is an embodiment. Masculine energy is in our actions; Feminine energy is in our embodiment, our stillness. Consciousness and Matter.

I see you longing for a home not realising that you embody it. You seek to uncover the secrets of the Moon and dance with Venus, not feeling their intimate whispers in your ears. Venus is in your dedication to your Feminine and your respect. The Moon flows with you in the way you navigate life and all these little inconveniences.

You’ve learned to navigate your emotions, to accept your emotional self, your sensitivity. You have stopped telling yourself you feel too much, are too much, and cry too much. You now love and respect your sensitive heart, and you hold space for it.

You’ve done well, Pile 3.

All that is left to do now, is for you to let go of the shadow of your past self, the one that didn’t love and respect your sensitive Heart. It is time for you to see yourself, who you have become and embody, and let go of the past self you still believe you are.

Let go of them, so you can finally move forward at great speed.

I feel so much restrictions and frustrations in your energy and even in your life. These are the product of you operating from the past self and not fully embodying this loving Feminine. Your curent iteration wants to have fun, and would have an easier time manifesting shit if they were’t held back but the shadow of your past self, gritting their teeth in anger and frustration.

They don’t understand why you allow yourself to be happy and ‘so damn emotional’. These words had a male voice when spoken into my mind, so I’m sensing there were men around you throughout your life, who repeatedly told you that your sensitivity was too much, and a burden, and something to get rid of.

As you are currently still holding onto these men and the love you have for them, the fear you have of them and because they have a strong hold on you, you haven’t been able to get rid of your past self.

A cord cutting would enable you to let go of that past self, but also to free yourself from the negative hold these men have on you. Once you let go, let it all go, you’ll be able to move forward in life with much more ease. Your cup will start filling top and your ability to trust and receive will be the only things left to work on. 

The cord cutting you will do will need to address the Head space (Crown energetic center, Mind center and the limiting beliefs they filled your head with). 

You’re doing great, Pile 3!

I hope this reading brought the healing you needed to receive at this time 🌻✨.

With love, Lala 🌸

[smuutboxx]

It’s nice seeing more male reader blogs pop up, im excited to see what you’ll write in the future.

I’m requesting a Jax x male reader with the classic scenario of getting trapped in a small space together. An idea is that the group is on an adventure and the two gets pushed in by one of the things they are supposed to be capturing, but you can do whatever you’d like on how they got locked up in there. I’d also like to quickly request that the reader isn’t shy or anything, he has both bark and bite to his character yk? (You can make the reader dom or sub since it doesn’t really matter to me, but it would be appreciated if the reader is a dom in this story) Thanks!

"Hide And Seek."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's Note: Thank you so much for the kind words :-) I love this request as well!

Genre: Smut (18+)

Pairings: Jax (The Amazing Digital Circus) x You (Male Reader)

Warnings: None, other than sex obviously. --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We’re doing what?”

Pomni inquired, her head tilted in confusion with her finger beside her cheek. ‘How very animated of her’ you thought in observation. “A classic game of hide and seek! Because if I sit here for any longer and continue to think I’ll blow my f@%#ing brains out!” Ragatha smiled, almost in a threatening way. You nodded at her explanation, you’ve been stuck here long enough to understand how not to think too hard about reality turning out to be a hoax. “--Not counting!” Jax's' ears shot up as he quickly put his index finger on his nose. You followed his action as quickly as possible. Then Gangle, Kinger, Zooble, Ragatha, aaaaaaaaand…

“Suck it Pomni!” Jax cackled, taking your hand and running off. You had realized you had taken a liking to Jax and he of course reciprocated those same feelings. You weren’t sure if he was entirely attracted to you like you were to him – but he wasn’t a very subtle guy. You look back and see everyone scatter as if someone just broke a bottle of alcohol on the floor. Pomni groaned and lay flat on the floor, her arms and legs spread out as she counted out loud. “1….2…3…-” Her counting continued as you searched around with Jax for a possible hiding spot. Something great, something that would take hours! Somewhere...private. You were only a man, why not take this opportunity to be in such a closed-off space with him? “Psst!” Jax motioned for a small closet in a hidden-ish area. You grinned, letting out a mischievous giggle with him as you rushed in, tugging him with you by his overall straps.

Now it was dark.

“Where is this even in the circus?” You whispered, realizing you weren’t sure where you two had run off to. “No idea, it’s good though. Right?” You felt him turn to you, his ears flowing with the turn a second after. You nodded and smiled at him, he somehow smiled wider. Your head quickly whipped to the door – thinking you heard a noise. “Wha-” Jax gave an attempt to talk but you swiftly covered his mouth. His ears perked up, hearing Pomni's' footsteps. “Helllloooo?” She called out, her tone of voice seemed more freaked out than playful like it should have been. She didn’t enjoy being alone here. You and Jax both held your... breath? And waited for Pomni to pass by.

..her footsteps passed. You both let out a sigh of relief. “Hold on.” You whispered, lifting yourself slightly to check outside of the door. Before you could check you felt the doorknob fail on you. “Jax?! There was a lock on this door??” You whisper-yelled. Jax shot up, hitting his head against something and letting out a hiss, then covered his mouth. You both stood still, looking at each other with terrified eyes. Once about 30 seconds passed, you gave him an irritated look. “Hey! Don’t look at me like that! I had no idea!” He said still in a hushed tone. “Where are your thousand keys?!” You let go of the doorknob and poke his chest aggressively. He shrugged, his shit-eating grin still plastered on his face as his ears lowered and his hands up in defense.

“Dude.” You push him down as he lands on his ass, legs spread. “Oh c’mon sweetheart, I seriously had no idea!” He pleaded crawling over to you. You huffed and sat in the opposite corner with your arms crossed. Yeah, you wanted to be in a dark and private area with him, but with the ability to come out at some point! Stupid ass rabbit. Jax giggled quietly as he got closer to you, “You don’t wanna be stuck in here with me?” He said in a low voice, his eyes squinting with his wide smile. You learned that not only does Jax…really like you but he’s extremely touch-starved. When you showed him affection the first time he never stopped touching you.

“No, nobody would enjoy this.” “Except you.” “Why me?” “Cause I’m your favorite.” “Your ego is high.” “You're my favorite.” “I know.”

You felt two big hands on your thighs, your legs naturally spread for them. Yikes. The only problem Jax had was your clothes being on your body, which were currently being removed. “Jax.” Why were you trying to stop him? You didn’t want him to, but you also wanted to see how desperate he’d get once he took all your clothes off. It’s probably been years since he’d got to be buried in anything. He shoved his body against you, almost aggressively trying to be as close to you as possible. “It’s cold.” Great, your clothes were off, now your ass was bare on the floor. “Hey, handsome,” Jax whispered into your ear, suddenly wrapping his hand around your cock. You jolted and uncrossed your arms quickly to wrap your arms around him. “Whaaaat?” You whined quietly, shoving your head into his neck. “You wanted us to get stuck in here, didn’t you? You slut.” ‘Fuck him, oh god. Fuck.’ You held onto him tighter, his degrading words heading straight to your cock. Which he felt in his hand as he continued to move his hand faster and faster up and down.. 'up and down..aah..up and down..fuck..’ -- “Jax..!” You moan in his ear, a little louder than you should have. He stopped his hand, letting out entirely. “No!” You whisper yell, bucking your hips in the hair for something. “Please- Jax. C’mon!” He grabbed your face and pulled you closer to his face. “Shut the f#%! up, do you want Caine to catch us?” He scolded, and you shook your head. You looked up at him pleadingly, tugging at his overalls. “Mmhh…m’sorry.” You heard Jax giggle again. “Good boy.” He allowed you to take his overalls off finally, sliding them down just below his waist to reveal himself.

You weren’t gonna ask why you had genitals, but you weren’t going to complain. He took your leg, lifting it over his shoulder. ‘God, finally.’ You thought, covering your mouth with one hand as you looked down to watch him slide into you. You squeaked as he made his way inside you, whispering his name over and over again as if it were a spell and you were wishing for something to happen. The moment he felt himself settle inside you he processed the feeling. You were so warm, fuck so warm. He needed more, god he needed more. Jax leaned over, gripped your hips, and dug his face into your shoulder still with your leg on his as he slammed his hips into you. You dig your nails into his back, a desperate whiney moan leaving your throat.

“Fuck you feel so good. you feel so good. you feel so good. you feel so good–”

You wanted to giggle at his actions but the way he was plowing himself into you wouldn’t let you speak, so you grabbed his ears and tugged onto them to pull him away from your shoulder which was full of drool. He let out a high-pitched moan, his cartoonish eyes rolling back. ‘Didn’t he say to be quiet?’ You managed to think, feeling your climax coming closer and closer with each aggressive thrust into your hips. As soon as you let go of his ears his head shot back to your shoulder like a magnet. Suddenly he bit down, shoving his cock deep inside you and cumming inside without warning.

You gasped at the new warmth and wrapped your hand around his throat as if to punish him – but that kinky little shit enjoyed it. He kept his hips moving, slightly slower than before as you felt your high coming in rapidly. Your quiet moans began louder and louder, squeezing your grip around Jax’s throat. You arched your back and made an absolute fucking mess of yourself. You came all over your stomach, scratching at Jax’s arm to make him stop moving his hips as the overstimulation became uncomfortable. He slowed his hips down soon, pulling out and taking a good look at you.

“..thanks.” He huffed, wiping the drool from his chin and eyeing you up and down. You roll your eyes, catching your breath. “You needed that.” You tease, holding his face gently and rubbing your thumb against his cheek.

What a silly rabbit.

[goodgirlofglory]

Ambrosial / One-shot

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 7,1k

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit content, mutual pining, scent kink, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, barely-there-handjob (like, not really at all), coming on clothes, a little bit of sweat kink? Sort of filth kink (not scat or anything like that but like, Bucky likes it messy), Bucky worshiping reader.

Summary: With his heightened senses, Bucky knows no peace when it comes to his olfactory system. Sweat, rotting food and sewage – the smells of the world surrounds him day in and day out. His only reprieve is the carefully curated space of his private quarters – and you, the sweet, new member of the team. With your unique, mouth-watering scent, it’s all he can do to not lose control around you. What happens when you unexpectedly cross that line between the two of you, and Bucky gets an opportunity to do more than just smell?

Note: My first Bucky fic eyooooo. He's a simp. It's weird, I feel like I'm so stuck in 2016 mcu. All I can picture is newly liberated-from-Hydra Bucky at the compound post civil war. But I reeeally liked this concept, and scent kinks really get me going. Anyone agree?

Your media consumption is your own responsibility, but I advise you not to interact if the contents of the warnings upset you.

Minors not welcome.

My work is not to be distributed outside my blog.

Replies, reblogs, likes and messages are amazing<3

Coffee, petrol, rusty iron, wet dog, shit, blood and old toothpaste. For as long as Bucky could remember, he could smell really well.

All his senses were heightened. The serum that made him a super soldier saw to that. But of all the senses, smell affected Bucky the most. Whether it made him think of a memory, alerted him to danger, gave him pleasure or was a bother. Most often it was the last one. Garbage, old sweat, farts and rotting food was a constant discomfort to him, assaulting his poor olfactory system wherever he went.

And no one, save for Steve, seemed to get why Bucky preferred to keep his rooms in the compound so clean. He feared Sam would never stop laughing that time he found the scented candle in Bucky's bathroom.

"You're killing me here, Buck! Lavender and rose petals," Sam had choked out between fits of laughter, wiping tears while clapping Bucky's shoulder.

"First of all, don't call me that, and second, fuck off," was all Bucky could say to his own defence. Steve had given him a look of understanding sympathy, while you had only chuckled at Sam's amusement. Bucky let Sam have his laugh and kept the candle.

You were the newest addition to the compound, and though you and Bucky hit it off in a polite and respectful tone, Bucky didn't really know you outside your skills and specialties in the field (which he had mostly learned from reading your file - not actually talking to you). The two of you didn't seem to have much in common besides a shared love for food. Your rooms were just near the kitchen, like Bucky's, so whenever something good was cooking, you both would come sniffing.

So, Bucky didn’t really know much about you, except that you had the sweetest scent he’d ever smelled. Rich, slightly spicy, a mix of dried herbs and honey mixed with warm skin. It made him think of lazy mornings in soft sheets, quiet, content walks in lush forests, and sex. It was so appealing to him, he’d started to guiltily look forward to every time he got to smell it. He couldn’t ever let you know that, though. Couldn’t let you know how deeply he subtly pulled your scent into his nostrils at times, and how much it sizzled within him. How it sometimes made his cock grow half hard and sensitive in his pants. You smelled so good. 

He was horrified by his own reaction, how he couldn’t control it. Bucky could control everything, held himself so tightly leashed he sometimes didn’t remember how it felt to react naturally to something. The semis you gave him were a direct threat to that control. 

Bucky could faintly remember being quite the ladies man back in the day. No more, though. He barely knew how to talk to people these days, let alone women. Let alone gorgeous, cute, good-smelling women like you.

He had most of the scents of the compound down by now. Natasha's caramel lattes in the morning, Steve's burnt toast and black roast. Wanda's paprika dishes and Clint's cheesy pizzas. At noon every day the hallway would smell with the fresh sweat of the joint training sessions. Sam would enjoy popcorn on Thursday’s movie night and a strong, musky cologne on Friday's club nights. There would always be the smell of liquor in the air when Tony was around, and more often than not, the smell of smoke as Steve went to cool off on his bike soon after.

Only Vision had no smell at all except a very faint hue of fresh, clinical rubber. Eerie, Bucky often thought to himself. Sometimes it was the only reminder that Vision wasn't human.

There were rarely any new smells for Bucky to note. Rarely something he didn't know what was, until one particular evening. The compound was quiet. A larger group were off on a mission, and the rest had scattered away, some leaving the grounds for a few days leave. Bucky had left his room to scavenge for snacks when he turned the corner into the kitchen and bumped straight into you. 

“Oh gosh! Hi Barnes! You scared me,” you said with a surprised smile after giving a little yelp, nearly dropping the bag of chips and steaming cup of tea in your hands. 

Bucky felt his body flush, partly embarrassed that he hadn’t sensed your presence before nearly tackling you off your feet, and partly because you were standing very close. Closer than he’d ever been.. Then your scent hit him, and a new wave of warmth spread in his body. It was…heavier than usual. Richer, with an overwhelming tangy note - the warm skin and lazy mornings in soft sheets he’d mentioned earlier - and it coursed through him like a comb through wet hair, leaving him momentarily stunned by sensation. He swallowed the sudden excess of saliva in his mouth and fought to not close his eyes. You were right there, for Christ's sake. 

Don’t be a creep! 

Bucky pointed to the items in your hands and said “snacks”. 

Stupid!

You looked down to where he pointed, momentarily puzzled before smiling and raising your cup in a small toast as you seemingly understood what he meant. 

“Way ahead of ya,” you said, then you sobered and when you met his eyes your cheeks had gained a strange hint of color. “You haven’t been out tonight? I thought I was all alone here,” you said, and Bucky was almost too distracted by your scent to realize you were nervous. 

“Ah, no. Not for me,” he said, and then added “going out on town and stuff,' cause his communication skills were truly atrocious. 

“Oh. Yeah, me neither,” you said, smiling softly at him, looking up through your lashes in a way that had him squirming in his skin. Bucky let his gaze track down to notice for the first time that you were only wearing a huge, oversized t-shirt and fuzzy blue socks. He could see your bare knees. So cute. 

Don’t get hard, don’t get hard, don’t get hard…

And then, as Bucky tried to will his cock not to swell in his sweatpants, he realized what he was smelling. It was arousal - your arousal. Or rather, that which came after your arousal. The smell of you post arousal. Bucky swallowed thickly again. You’d been masturbating. Or maybe you had a visitor. No, those weren’t allowed in the compound. 

You’d been self-pleasuring then, while you thought everyone was away. Which explained the rosy cheeks and nervous tone of voice - and the slip of control that had blood rushing to Bucky’s cock right before you. He resolutely fought the mental images away with a proverbial stick, shook himself quickly from his stupor and stepped past you, running for the fucking hills before you’d notice the tent forming in his pants and be forever creeped out by him. You didn’t deserve that, fucking hell. 

“Well, enjoy the rest of your evening,” he called over his shoulders and didn’t look back as he entered the kitchen. A long moment later you stammered out a “y-you too” before Bucky’s advanced hearing caught your feet slipping on the floor as you made your way back to your rooms. 

Later that night, hot with shame, Bucky laid in his bed, hard and aching as he remembered your smell, the way it had lingered in the hallway, and the way your cheeks looked with that adorable blush. But he didn’t touch himself - refused to be that way, knew he wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes again if he did. 

§

That scent haunted him from that day forward. Each time he passed your room he would automatically look for it, each time he passed you he would scrutinize the nuances of your scent, trying to figure out if you’d been aroused recently or not. Not able to help himself, he would try and decipher if you were wet right then and there, if your scent changed during the brief time you were in a room with him. This was usually during mission briefings or the missions themselves, so it wasn’t often he ever caught your scent marinated and warm and potent like he had that day in the hallway. 

But then the day came where Steve, your usual sparring partner, was on a mission, and out of nowhere you asked Bucky if he could step in. 

“It’s just, with the serum and all, you might be the closest to Steve in terms of the level of challenge we’ve been working up to,” you said, looking down, hands behind your back as you stood before Bucky where he sat on the bench, having just finished a bench press set. 

He’d been resolutely not looking at you from the moment you unexpectedly stepped into the gym. Because he was concentrating on his routine, and because he was giving you space to concentrate on yours. But also because it was hard enough to keep his eyes reigned in when you weren’t sweaty and flushed, your compression shirt clinging to your toned torso, your tights hugging your thighs and oh god, plump, rounded ass perfectly. 

Bucky felt at home in the gym. It was a safe space for working out his surplus energy and jittering nerves, and fresh perspiration was a hundred times better than the stank of old socks and musty boxers he got elsewhere. He always felt a bit grimy, a bit uneasy in his own skin, with the way his bulky body and gait moved him through the delicate spaces of the compound. In the gym, he could just be loud and forceful in his grimy skin and everyone else was too. 

But now, with you so polite and sweet and shy before him, Bucky felt at a loss. He couldn’t damn well say no to you when you gave such a good reason for asking him. He didn’t want to be an asshole. You were supposed to be teammates. Colleagues.  

“What she means to say is that no one else is good enough for her,” Scott Lang chimed in from the bench next to Bucky when Bucky remained quiet a second too long. 

A familiar, rosy blush stole across your cheeks as you batted a hand towards Lang. 

“Maybe if you spent half as much time working your biceps as you do your mouth, I would’ve asked you,” you retorted, and Bucky didn’t bother to quell his snort of laughter. It wasn’t often he got to see your sassy side, though Steve had told him about it. 

You looked back and smiled a little at Bucky as Lang exaggerated a shocked gasp and got up from his bench. 

“You know, you shouldn’t be so nice all the time, Y/N. I would like to see you being a little mean,” he said as he grabbed his towel and headed for the gym exit, smiling all the while. 

“Try me, Bug-man.”

“I just might, ordinary human woman,” Scott threw back as he pushed through the doors. 

You looked back as Bucky, who was still recovering slightly from the smile you’d given him. 

“So, what’s it gonna be, Barnes?” you asked hopefully. 

“Yeah, sure,” he heard himself say, and almost immediately his heart kicked into gear. 

This is a stupid idea, he thought to himself as he joined you on the sparring mat. Your scent, alive with your fresh, warm sweat, wafted in a trail directly behind you where Bucky followed, trying not to take too noticeable pulls of air. You stretched for a bit and Bucky did the same so he wouldn’t end up staring. 

“So,” he started as he raised himself from a forward hamstring stretch, “what have you and Steve been working o- oof!”

His words were cut off as you launched yourself on him, landing a kick to his midriff that had the breath momentarily stealing from his lungs. Then his mind slipped into combat mode, and he lunged for you. 

It seemed like hours passed as you sparred. You’d come a long way in your training, and Bucky found himself receiving quick punches and efficient kicks unexpectedly several times. You’d already been sweaty when you started, and it didn’t take long for your mixed perspirations to clog Bucky’s nose, adding a layer of distraction to the mix. 

You wrapped your thighs around his head in a move eerily reminiscent of Natasha, and Bucky nearly blacked out as he came face to face to the source of that intoxicating scent. He might be gross, but he didn’t care. It smelled so fucking good. 

And then, as he grabbed you by the hips and flung you to the mat, catching your head from breaking against the floor and lowering himself to his knees between your legs to dampen the impact, you let out a surprised little squeal that had him flushing for entirely new reasons. 

You stopped short, panting furiously and looking up at Bucky with wide eyes, face red, hair clinging to the sweat on your forehead. You were utterly gorgeous, and Bucky was powerless. He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. You were a dream like this, alive and blinding, so beautiful and so close. It gave him a sort of reverent pleasure just to be allowed to look at a woman like this. A lucky reward he was completely undeserving of. 

You stayed like that. You on your back, arms limp on the mat over your head, legs loosely draped over Bucky’s thighs as he sat on his knees between them, metal arm bracing on the mat by the side of your head, the other, softer one, cradled between the back of your head and the mat under it. 

And then the unmistakable, elusive scent of lazy mornings in bed, sex and spice hit his nose. Your arousal, mixing with your sweat to a lethal potion. Bucky couldn’t for the life of him stop the instinctual indraw of breath, feeling himself instantly getting a little dizzy of it. The appreciative sigh escaped him a moment later. 

Your mouth parted slightly like you understood what he was doing, your eyes momentarily going wide before your eyelids drooped, pupils expanding. 

Then, in a move Bucky would never anticipate, your head lifted off his hand, and you slotted your mouth to his, warm lips meeting his in a hard kiss. 

Wait, what?

Even as Bucky’s thoughts scrambled to keep up with what you’d done, his body responded in kind, lips returning your kiss after only a beat of stunned shock. 

Muscles rippling with lightning bolt of unleashed need, his body surged forward, pressing your head back into the mat, dragging his flesh hand up to cradle your jaw as he deepened the kiss. 

You’d kissed him. He’d kissed you back. You were kissing. No, making out now, he thought fervently as your mouth opened to not so shyly pry your tongue against his, swiping slick and hot in a way that had his breath catching in his lungs.

Lust rippled through him, making even his bulky frame shudder.

With the cutest, neediest whimper that made Bucky’s blood rush in his ears, you grabbed his wrist with both your hands and brought his hand, the one made of flesh, down to cup you between your legs.

The surprised grunt that escaped him was entirely unplanned, and the one that followed was downright unhinged, escaping his control. Before his mind had completely caught up to what had happened, his hand had started to move back and forth on it’s own, rubbing you over and over, and fuck – you were wet, so wet it had soaked through the fabric of your leggings, making his hand damp.

Bucky’s breath burst out of him, and you suddenly wrenched away from the kiss, your head falling back with a dull thud on the mat. Your hands let go of Bucky’s hand and you covered your face with them.

“Oh God, sorry! I’m sorry, that was so thoughtless of me, what if you don’t want to, and I…and, maybe we should stop, I mean you don’t have to if –“ you rambled, shrill voice muffled by your own hands, and Bucky had to refrain from screaming in protest to this stopping. He brought the hand he’d awkwardly stilled between your legs up and pried one of your hands off your face.

You had the most adorable, crimson flush high on your cheekbones, and your face was all scrunched up from embarrassment. The sight of you being so small and vulnerable beneath him had a surge of protectiveness welling so fast in Bucky’s chest it physically pained him for a moment. He suddenly felt entirely sure he wanted to do, would do, anything to stop you from fretting, from worrying about anything ever again.

You were still mumbling faintly about not wanting him to feel pressured and how inaprorpriate it was of you to come on to him like this. Bucky would have none of that. Emboldened by his newfound emotion and almost panicked by the notion of this ending before he could touch you and kiss you just a little bit more, he lowered his face to capture your lips again, if only to shut you up. You whimpered into his mouth, eagerly reciprocating in contrast to your attempt at rationality. 

Fuck rationality. Bucky was starving, had been starving for months.

When he broke away, he leaned his forehead to yours, trying to catch his breath, to get order to his thoughts, but they were a jumbled mess of possessive, filthy wants that had his self control ripping at the seams. And your scent, God, your fucking scent was tinged with fucking ambrosia, like an aphrodisiac designed specifically to make Bucky’s vision go all loopy and his damn civility to shrivel to dust. 

“I want…I…fuck, you have no idea how much I want,” he blurted inelegantly, and then words escaped him all together, for there were no words to describe the profound ache that settled deep in his loins, the sheer carnal need to feel your skin on his, to touch you, to be the provider of every moan and keen of pleasure he could - to keep you wet and shivering and wordless from pleasure. 

His mind short circuited as he landed on the mental image of hearing you come with his cock deep inside your weeping cunt, and he pounced on you without really meaning to.

His mouth sought out the soft skin of your elegant neck, and he licked it before giving it an open-mouthed kiss, covering it in saliva. He felt your body twitch and writhe as he latched his teeth and tongue onto it, moving messily down to the collar of your compression shirt. He wanted to pry it off you, to tear it to shreds with his teeth, to lather the skin of your breasts with the attention of his tongue and lips, to nip and bite and suck on your nipples till they grew hard and red and puffy for him. But that would have to be later, for he had one goal he was working towards, that spot between your legs where he had already felt how much you already needed him. He would not let you go another minute unsatiated. 

Unceremoniously and frenzied, he kissed over your clothed torso as he crawled down your body. Your hands were in his hair, tugging and gripping as he went, the most decadent, breathy moans spilling from you panting mouth as he (rougher than he intended) manhandled your legs over his shoulders and then your hips off the floor, wrenching your leggings and underwear down so hard your whole body jolted, and fuck, he was telling himself to be more gentle, to not scare you away when you had given him this fucking gift of letting him get this far.

But he needed it; was desperate for it. Desperate to bury his face between your legs, breath in your warm, sweet scent where it was most potent, to taste you and feel your pulsate on his tongue. He needed you to come in his mouth, all over his face, so he would smell you there for days, lingering like the most illicit secret. Fuck, all his blood was rushing south so fast he felt almost faint.

You let him do what he wanted, laid down again naked from the waist down, so small and fragile and beautiful and Bucky wanted to eat you alive.

And then he was on his stomach between your legs, pussy inches away and it was glistening with how wet you were, your patch of dark curls wet too. Your whole body was shivering slightly, and your hands flitted about the mat for something to do, something to hold on to, a nervous gesture, or an excited one. Fucking hell, Bucky hoped you were half as excited for this as he was, and promised he would do anything to have you as addicted to his mouth as he already was to your scent. 

It was baffling how magnanimous the moment was to him, to have the absolute honor of being allowed this close to your sweet pussy, to have you trembling and flushed on your back, allowing him, socially stunted, unelegant and most of the time awkward as hell, between your glorious thighs, allowing him to touch you, to try and bring you the most pleasurable experience you could have. 

It had been a long time since Bucky was a religious man, but -

“Christ,” he muttered as he saw your pussy clenching under his gaze, more of your slick seeping out under his watchful gaze. 

In a moment of unexpected (and impressing) clarity, Bucky looked up to find your gaze on his face. 

“Is this okay? C-can I?” he asked, or rather rasped, for his voice was all husky, more growl than anything else. His cock was so hard in his pants, throbbing, and he had to push his hips down into the mat to alleviate some of the ache as he watched your face avidly, fearing for his life that you would do anything but consent enthusiastically. Suddenly he wasn’t sure how he would survive if you said no and he would have to tear himself away from you. 

To Bucky’s relief, a needy whimper escaped you and you bit your lips nodding before gasping. 

“Yes, please, please Barnes, I -”

Bucky didn’t let you finish your sentence. The minute he heard you say yes and oh lord - plead for him to do it - he surged forward and sucked your pussy into his mouth. He heard the air catch in your throat as he licked his tongue flat against you from weeping hole to your clit, the nub swollen and hard already. He flicked it with the tip of his tongue and your body jolted, a small sound escaping you. 

He did it again, flicking your clit teasingly, the little nub growing harder and bigger under his attention. He was ravenous, wanted to work you until your whole body felt like one big overstimulated nerve, contracting and throbbing with every touch. He wanted you soaked in pleasure, so hazy with it you could do nothing but come back to him for more. 

You let your sounds spill freely as he went, pretty, needy whimpers and unashamed moans.

God, yes, Bucky thought, hoping you always were so reactive, vowing to drag more sweet sounds out of you, his blood sizzling with how downright nourishing they were to him. 

You were writhing so hard on the mat you nearly squirmed away from his mouth, and Bucky hooked his metal arm around your thigh as he draped it over his shoulder, securing you firmly in place as he lavished your whole dripping pussy with his spit, letting it mingle with your own slick and coat his chin and lips in it, probably dripping down onto the mat. Bucky didn’t care, he couldn’t get enough. You tasted even better than you smelled, and his vision went blurry with how ecstatic he felt buried in the hot, soft flesh between your legs. 

He sucked your clit into his mouth, bullying it with his tongue as he peeked up at your sweaty face. He drank in the almost reverent look on it, eyes closed, mouth slightly parted, drool at one corner. 

Your hands still flitted about looking for purchase, for something to grab. He grabbed you gently by the wrist and led your hands to his hair, still working your clit with his tongue in rhythmic swipes, up and down, up and down. You instantly grabbed fistfuls of his dark locks in tight clasps and your eyes, blown and glassy, met his as he lowered his head to lap at your hole again. You whined, lifting your hips slightly to grind against his mouth and Bucky hadn’t thought this could get any better but the feel of you smearing your juices on his face, riding your clit mindlessly on his tongue, using him to chase your own pleasure - Bucky nearly came in his gym shorts and he couldn’t even be bothered by it. 

He fit his hands on your hips, just resting them there as you grinded on him, your brows drawn together in concentration. Bucky groaned into your flesh as more of your sweet slick dripped out of you onto his tongue, and you jolted against him, whimpering so adorably as your hips sped up to frantic bucking. 

Bucky started flicking his tongue to help you out, to drive the movement higher, faster, and you gasped hoarsely. 

“Yes, fuck, just like that, oh my god Bucky!,” you exclaimed, practically screaming into the empty gym. And hearing his name like that, so intimately and fervently, desperately as you praised him. Bucky downright snarled into your pussy, and that seemed to drive you that last bit off the edge. 

You threw your head back on a choked whine, whole body seizing tight, trembling like a leaf in his arms. Bucky kept his flicking licks on your clit, feeling it jump and throb as the waves of your orgasm rode your body. 

He kept licking until your voice returned to you in jolting little squeaks, and tried to keep going even as you pulled his face away from you by the roots of his hair. 

Bucky wanted to protest. Wanted to shake your hands off him and push his face into your cunt again. He wasn’t ready for it to end. He hadn’t gotten nearly enough of your addicting, heavenly taste. He kissed and licked over your thighs, smearing your slick and his spit all over them, nibbling on the soft skin and making you all messy, a preening sort of satisfaction settling warm in his chest at the sight. He wanted to see you come again, hear you come again, feel the way your muscles seized as you reached that pinnacle of pleasure. He wanted to make you come again. So he did just that. 

With renewed, almost feral fervor, Bucky shot to his knees and hunched over your lower body. Easily prying your hands off his head, he pinned them to your sides on the mat as he pushed his tongue against your hole, lapping up the gush your orgasm had created. A rational, though very small voice in the back of his mind told him he probably sounded and acted like an animal, but he didn’t care. He pushed his tongue as far inside you he could and felt your walls throb and clench around the muscle, driving his fervor higher. 

He kept your hands pinned to your sides a while longer, though it didn’t take long for your squeaks of overstimulation to turn back to sweet, needy whimpers of “fuck, yes, more, please, yes, God”.

Bucky wanted to feel more of you from the inside, and when he felt more secure in the fact that you would allow him more time between your legs, he let go of your wrist and brought his flesh hand down to your hole. His fingers trembled slightly as he swiped through your messy folds, coating them thoroughly before resting them just on your opening. 

Your hand returned to his hair, carding through and then tightening. 

“Pleeease,” you whined above him, and Bucky’s breath went short and puffy at how completely and ardently you submitted to him, gave yourself over and begged him. He wanted to hear you beg more, but he was too impatient to get inside you, if only with his fingers. 

His cock jumped at the thought of getting inside you, too, but he ignored it. He wanted you to come, right now. 

He pushed two fingers into you and groaned at the tight, wet heat that enveloped him. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before, and if he used to do this sort of thing back in the day, he couldn’t remember it feeling like this. 

Your back arched off the mat on a garbled gasp. Bucky took the opportunity to wrap his other arm under your back and practically drag you into his lap as he sat back on his haunches, getting his mouth back on your clit. 

He flicked it fast, alternating with messy suckling, and curled his finger inside you to hook against the roof of your stretched cunt. He had no idea where all his moves came from. He hadn’t so much as seen a naked woman since coming to the compound and didn’t remember much other than fragments of his sexual escapades before the war. It must have been muscle memory, some hard attained skills locked deep in his mind. It seemed to be working well with you, and that was all that mattered to Bucky. 

You were keening and whining under him, half in Bucky’s lap with your shoulders still on the mat. Your hands grabbed and scratched on his knees and thighs below you, and Bucky fucking loved it.

He was aware he was acting like a brute. No finesse, no manners, just a primal and instinctual need to get you off, to feel and hear and taste you fall apart from his touch and tongue. And have that heavenly scent of your arousal fresh in his mind for the rest of the day. 

You came again quickly with Bucky’s fingers added to the mix, screaming his name as your legs went rod stiff, body spasming that same, incredible way it had done the first time. Bucky felt high on your juice, licking up the fresh gush with reverent licks.

He had the absurd urge to keep going when he felt your hand tap his thigh twice. Tapping out. 

Bucky looked up your body, or rather down it where your bum was held up by his arm in his lap. You were panting, your eyes half-lidded and shining. You smiled at him, and his heart clenched weirdly in his chest. He was coming back to himself slightly, and suddenly wondered if he should prepare himself for embarrassment and horrified rejection after the unhinged way he’d just acted. But your hands, so gentle and elegant, reached for his face. 

He bent forward to insinuate his jaw into the cradle of them, and slowly lowered your lower body back to the mat as you gently pulled his face to yours, kissing him on the mouth almost chastely after what he’d just done. He could feel himself tremble a little as he hovered over you, kissing you again and then again, deepening the kiss a little to slow swipes of your tongues. He wondered if you could taste yourself on his tongue, if you liked your own taste as much as he did. 

Your head plumped back down on the mat and a trill of laughter flitted effortlessly from your mouth. 

“Oh my fucking God, Barnes,” you said, eyes closed and a broad smile on your face. Bucky could feel himself blushing a little, though he liked it better when you’d called him Bucky. 

Taking a purely selfish chance, Bucky quickly backed down your body to lay on his chest between your legs again, resting his head on one of your spread thighs. Your hand absentmindedly came to lay on his head, stroking his hair lightly. He stared at your pussy, swollen and pink and messy  with the mix of his spit and your slick. He could stare at it for hours. He took another selfish chance and slowly leaned in to swipe his tongue over your slit.

You moaned, though a bit critically. 

“If you don’t let me catch my breath, you’re gonna kill me,” you said, but you were still smiling. 

“I don’t want that,” Bucky admitted honestly, and you laughed again. 

“I’m glad.”

Bucky went back to staring at your messy pussy, taking in that perfect scent that had all his other thoughts muffling to a peaceful hum. He leaned forward, watching you to see if you would stop him, and took another slow, almost soothing swipe over your pussy. You jolted slightly, then hummed contently, eyes closing. He did it again, for he was an animal with no self-control, and this time, your thighs came up to bracket his face, stopping him half-way. 

“Barnes,” you warned, and Bucky had to admit defeat. He crawled back up to hover over your body, hoping you would drag him back in for kisses, or just touches, or just some form of physical contact. His skin was prickling all over from the pleasantness of just feeling warm skin to his. 

Luckily, you did, pulling him back down to kiss him again, and he let his body lower to lay splayed on top of you, making sure not to put too much of his bulk on you, but plastering himself to you all the same. 

You gave a startled little noise and broke from the kiss, looking down with wide eyes. 

Oh shit, Bucky was still sporting a raging hard-on, which he had unceremoniously pushed into your stomach as he laid down on top of you. About to jump away, Bucky again readied himself to reign himself back in when your hand snaked down, grabbing him over his gym shorts, keeping him put exactly where he was. 

Your hand around him, even with the fabric between, drew a raspy gasp from him. 

“Can I”? You asked, looking up at him through your lashes. 

Bucky swallowed thickly, looking down at your dainty hand barely reaching around the bulge in his gym shorts, and his cock gave a noticeable jerk as his mind flooded with images of all the things he wanted you to do to his cock. He could feel his balls tingling, drawing up, his sack tightening in warning. He was already on the edge. 

“I won’t last long,” he admitted, barely daring to meet your gaze again. 

You smiled, biting your lip slightly. 

“That doesn’t matter, as long as you want to,” you said. Bringing your other hand to draw his face down, he shivered as your hot breath tickled his ear. He was so overworked on sensation, he was surprised his arms hadn’t given out yet for how weak and sensitive he felt all over. 

“I want to make you feel good,” you whispered huskily in his ear, and Bucky bit his lip to try and stifle the embarrassing sound crawling its way up his throat at those words. He wasn’t successful, and he sounded almost like a wounded puppy before giving up and pressing his flushed face into the crook of your neck, nodding rapidly. He hadn’t even given a thought to you reciprocating anything. He’d been more than happy to just use the memory of this as masturbation fodder for a long, long time to come. 

“Yeah?” you asked in a honey sweet voice, God, you were just so fucking sweet, and Bucky melted against you. “Roll over on your back,” you told him, and like a tamed beast eager to please, Bucky immediately obeyed, rolling off you to lay on his back on the mat. You followed, moving swiftly to get on your hands and knees between his spread legs, one hand moving teasingly up his thigh to wrap around his bulge again. 

Not able to help himself, Bucky rose to a sitting position to claim your mouth as you held him by the cock. He wanted you closer, everywhere. You kissed him while lazily touching him over the fabric of his shorts, sliding the tip of your finger up his length to the tip and Bucky jolted, grunting uncontrollably into your mouth. His breathing was picking up, his nerve endings spiking and sizzling. 

While thrusting your tongue into his mouth, Bucky’s hands cradling your face like the most precious jewel, you reached inside his shorts and took his cock out, wrapping your hand around it and letting it just sit, rock hard and leaking generously, between you. 

You broke the kiss, gave Bucky the most devilish smirk he’d ever seen, and licked your lips before lowering yourself to take him into your mouth. The anticipation burned like a lightning bolt straight down his body to his cock. 

Bucky exploded before you even got your lips to his tip. Cum spurted out of him, spraying his t-shirt, some going as high as his chin, and some getting on your shocked face. Bucky groaned as the orgasm wrecked through him, riding through him in wave after wave, the most intense one he could ever remember having - and you hadn’t so much as jerked him without his clothes on. 

Mortified and still trembling slightly with aftershocks, Bucky gathered the courage to look at you, and found you staring at his cum-covered chest. Your hand was still wrapped around his twitching cock, your knuckles shining with his spunk, and despite how Bucky had no clue where to go from here, the sight had hot satisfaction spreading in his chest. It was like he was marking you with his cum the way you had marked him with your slick (though that had mostly been Bucky marking himself by literally rubbing his face in it). 

He watched with rapid attention as you brought your wet hand up to your face and licked a stripe of cum off your knuckle, sucking your own thumb into your mouth. You met his gaze, and Bucky swore under his breath as his dick throbbed with renewed interest at the sight. 

Your mouth ticked up at the corner before you leaned in and kissed Bucky softly on the mouth. He shivered with excitement as you pried his lips open with yours to swipe his own taste into his mouth. Fuck, he’d never done that before. It was filthy and possessive and dominating and Bucky had never thought he’d be so fucking turned on by it. 

You broke the kiss with a content hum that had Bucky’s blood rushing in his ears. 

“That was really fucking hot,” you murmured, going back in for another kiss. Bucky felt his nervousness dissipating, replaced by a sort of ecstatic elation. A laugh bubbled up and out of him, and he kissed you back. Pulling you closer with his hands on your face, neither of you cared about the mess on his shirt as you laid down on top of him, kissing again and again, slowly, exploringly. 

There was a calm inside Bucky, a sort of sated comfort he could scarcely remember feeling, and he knew it was all because of you, the sweet, wonderful woman in his arms. He could lay like this forever, simply kissing you, holding you close, smelling your scent and feeling your warmth against him, your grounding weight on his chest. His cock had other thoughts though, already starting to fill, lodged between the two of you. 

You raised your head and cocked a brow down at Bucky, and he could do nothing more than shrug and blush. And then, as he started thinking about dragging you up to sit on his face, a booming voice came from the door to the gym. 

“Please, for the love of all things good and holy, vacate the gym room now! You’re keeping it hostage at this point!,” Sam shouted, and Bucky glanced over your shoulder to see him standing outside, facing the other way as he held the door open to shout through. 

Oh. Right, you were still in the very public gym of the compound. 

You squealed as you scrambled off Bucky to retrieve the leggings and underwear he’d ripped off you and thrown to the side. Bucky got on his feet and in between you and the view of the door, trying to shield you from view while you frantically redressed - he could at least try to be a gentleman after having devoured you like a hungry animal and then cum all over himself and you. 

You turned to face him once you were fully dressed, and your eyes bulged as you glanced down. With frantic, fumbling hands, you reached forward and tucked his cock, hard and proud and still jutting out over his shorts, back inside. Bucky grunted at the touch, seeing the lovely crimson blush on your face, stretching to the tips of your ears and down your neck. He grunted again, appreciatively, when he noticed the splotches of his cum still drying on your chin and cheek from when he’d busted in your face. 

Bringing his thumb up, he gently wiped his mess off your skin, wiping his hand on the back of his shorts. 

“Sorry about Sam and…” Bucky trailed, gesturing awkwardly to the mat and around the room. His communication skills hadn’t improved by the earth-shattering orgasm, then…

“It’s fine. It was I who jumped your bones, after all,” you said sheepishly, but you were smiling. God, so sweet. 

Bucky was about to lean in to kiss you once again when Sam’s voice cut in. 

“Don’t you dare start up again, I don’t have all day! And bring that mat with you. Matter of fact, burn it!” he shouted. 

Giggling like teenagers, you scrambled to get your belongings and exit the room. Bucky gave Sam an apologetic look as he passed him, and though Sam was clearly pissed off, Bucky saw the way his mouth was ticking up at the edges, approval shining in his eyes. 

You grabbed Bucky’s hand once you’d left the gym, and Bucky happily let himself be dragged along down the hall. He was already working on his plan to lure you into his room, and subsequently rub your scent on everything he owned. For though the intensity of smells were mostly a nuisance for Bucky, having a strong sense of smell wasn’t so bad when it came to you.

[fanaticsnail]

Cora dies and reader lives: Angsty, tragic, a wonderful exploration of grief and missed opportunities

Cora lives and reader dies: An interesting writing challenge to have what is usually the perspective character to be gone, still a nice way to explore the themes mentioned above

Cora dies and reader dies: Ough. "The longing, the yearning, "I'll love you in every universe life", "till death do we part", "wherever you go, I go", turn up the angst meter.

All of these would be cool angsty fics. BUT:

Cora lives and reader lives: Fucking hilarious. Like obviously there's the trauma, but afterwards, you just know those two would be the most embarrassing coolest, most supportive parents to Law, especially in his pirate career. The absolute epitome of "You're doing amazing sweetie".

(Plus imagine the comedy of a new crew member bursting into Law's office and being like "There's intruders, I saw them in the kitchen" and Law's just like "......you mean....my parents?")

Okay okay okay okay.

Yes, though. All of those are an absolute yes 😭😭😭 Art link

The way I have a need to write each of those scenarios. I obviously have a preference (happily ever after, of course). I have semi-written a plot with my "Donquixote Rosinante's Journey with Modern Slang" dialogue for my preference of the "how".

It would be amazing to explore this with a "they both died" becoming a "they both live" and are now tasked with 'parenting' an adult son that's the same age (or older) than them. Could you imagine how hilarious that would be?

Them both trying so, so hard to relate to their boy while giving him space enough to be his own man.

Rosi: "Oh, Honey! I'm so proud of you. Look how big you've grown, Law! You're just a precious little guy. You've got a beard! Look at how strong you are! And you've still got that hat- holy SHIT IS THAT A BEAR??"

You: "Give our boy some space! Let him breathe, mi Corazon. Admire him from afar- OH FUCK IT IS A BEAR!!"

Bepo: "Uhh... Hi Mister Rosinante, and- uhh... Hi, um-."

Law: "-My mother. She's my mother. They're back. They're both back."

I have a need 🤌. This is a proper, feral need.

[motziedapul]

Saw this discussion on Reddit about independent podcasts and I wanted to throw my hat into the ring!

The original post was asking if a podcast is still indie if it's part of a network, and the answer is, usually, yes. Unless they are explicitly financed by the network in production, which many network podcasts aren't.

I'll go into what our Rusty Quill Network membership means below, but these comments are generally correct:

So people must be wondering what being part of the RQ Network means if they're not financing us:

Two things:

1) We're now part of their ad revenue structure and get a percentage of ad revenue from ads run on our show and Rusty Quill site.

2) Rusty Quill will market us to their audience, which gives us access to a bigger audience than we had.

You'll notice that neither of those mean Rusty Quill pays us, because they don't *pay* us per se. It's a revenue sharing system.

Would you like to know how much we earn from ads?

$400~ CAD (approximately $280~ USD) every two months in our BEST MONTHS.

More accurately, we only started getting those numbers in July after we were advertised on the Magnus Protocol. Before that we got $300~ CAD after 4 months.

Other than that, we finance through Patreon with $400 CAD/month from our amazing Patrons-but you'll notice even that isn't a living.

(Though it very much does cover groceries, which I'm grateful for)

This is why we ultimately have to run fundraisers every so often. I'd run less if I was employed, which I'm trying very hard to be, but in the meantime if people want to see more of Hi Nay this is our only recourse.

That's why we're indie even if we're part of a network. That's why your favorite podcasts are indie even if they're still part of a network. Rusty Quill has done so much for us including connecting us to some amazing podcasters in the space and giving us opportunities we never would have had before, but they don't pay us for making our podcast. They just share the ad revenue and help market us.

And that's why I can't continue Hi Nay on $400-$800 Canadian every month when my rent is $1300 Canadian ($920 US) a month. Especially when I've been out of work for 1+ year.

[oakparchment]

Itzy's Sex Toys

Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong, Yuna

Length: 2325 words

Tags: masturbation, (improvised) sex toys, voyeurism, cum sharing, cum lube

Summary: Ever wondered how Itzy gets themselves off?

AO3

A/N: Here's some fantasy fuel for how each Itzy member masturbates (it gets real slutty at the end) featuring the non-conventional objects they had to make do with as sex toys before, the actual sex toys they own now, and the toy that they're looking at buying next.

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Yeji

Yeji getting her driver's license led to more than just being able to drive. This definitely doesn't work in every vehicle, but the handbrake in Yeji's car was just a simple, long and straight lever that when the car was in park, angled almost straight up. There was enough room at the front console that she could push the seats back, slot herself over the handbrake, and start riding to her heart's content. It was unconventional for sure, and not always practical, but at least the car had tinted windows.

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Yeji was the group's trailblazer when it came to sex. Not only was she the first to buy a sex toy, but she went all out on the first purchase. When the order came through, she couldn't contain her excitement and ran to her room to test it out. It was a male torso sex doll, spanning from the neck down to the cock and balls. No longer would she be confined to the inside of a car whenever she wanted to ride something long and hard. During one late night talk, Yeji and Ryujin had shared some of their fantasies with each other. The repercussions of that conversation led to Yeji sometimes pretending the sex doll beneath her was Ryujin, as she bounced up and down on its hard rod (more of that fantasy later...)

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Yeji is looking at buying a fuck machine next. With both the handbrake and sex doll she has to do all the work herself, but wants to have a go at lying down on her hands and knees, turning the machine on, and just getting absolutely railed from behind. She's gonna have to find more storage space...

Lia

Lia often took the longest showers. She would of course do the usual: wash her hair, soap herself up, shave, and get clean. But then she would also get dirty. Their bathroom showerhead was detachable, which Lia would hold against her pussy. The hot water jetting over her clit was the perfect amount of pressure. Not wanting anyone to have to wait around, thoughtful Lia would try to limit her shower sessions to when no one else had to use the bathroom after her.

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Lia eventually wanted to add more to her shower sessions, and made a very pragmatic decision to buy a suction cup dildo. She could now attach the dildo to the shower wall and fuck herself on it, whilst still holding the showerhead over her clit. This revolutionised showers for Lia, causing her to take multiple showers in a day if there was the opportunity to do so. From an outsider's perspective, she seemed shy about sex, but the thought of someone walking in on her getting off secretly turned her on, and for that reason she never locked the bathroom door when she showered (or the bedroom door when she stuck the dildo to her mirror). One time she forgot to take the dildo off the shower wall, and Yuna discovered it. But that's a story for another time.

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She's interested in buying a simple clit vibrator. One that she can hold against her sensitive bud whilst fucking her dildo, but she also wouldn't be tethered to the shower this way. She basically sees it as a direct upgrade from the showerhead.

Ryujin

Ryujin sleeps with a pillow between her legs. Silk sheets, pyjama shorts and no panties, cause she humps her pillow to get off. If she bundles up the pillow just right, her wetness against the silk pillow case creates an amazing texture that’s both smooth yet has just the right friction against her pussy lips and clit. She’s gotten real good at humping and grinding her hips after all that pillow fucking. This did lead to Ryujin having an excessive amount of pillows in her room, allowing her to have a pillow to fuck and still have a fresh one to sleep on that didn't have her cum all over it (without having to wash her sheets every few days). One night when Chaeryeong was sleeping over in her room, she wondered why Ryujin needed so many pillows. Her curiosity was answered upon seeing a familiar patch running down the middle of one of them. Much to Ryujin's embarassment, Chaeryeong specifically chose to sleep on that pillow for the night.

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Ryujin wants to fuck. Like literally. She bought a strap-on dildo because she’s obsessed with the idea of having a thick cock and just absolutely railing people with it. So much so that she practices fucking her pillow with it, pretending it’s one of her group members. Ryujin will give the dildo head before putting it on, practicing her blowjob skills and getting it all slicked up for her pretend partner (for now). Then she’ll get rough with it, slapping her fake cock and watching it sway, then jerking it off with a vice-like grip.

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Whilst she humps her pillows and jerks off her fake cock, she watches porn, and has been on the kinkier side of it lately. She finds herself continually returning to videos of sex swings. Ryujin thinks about how hard and fast she could fuck someone’s guts out with the assistance of a swing. This is going on her wish list for sure.

Chaeryeong

Chaeryeong genuinely did use her face roller to massage her face... at the start. The phallic look of it did always get her thinking and one day her depraved thoughts got the better of her and she used it to massage other places. She would clutch onto the roller balls to angle the shaft inside of her, pumping in and out of her pussy and oh.. my.. god.. did it make her feel good. 

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Whilst the face roller got her off, it didn't hit deep the way she wanted it to (Chaeryeong's vaginal canal goes deep), so she started browsing around for actual toys. All the pretty colours and shapes of bad dragon dildos really drew her attention (and yes, the massive size too) and settled on a few that she particularly liked. The first time she used one was a very slow process, involving lots of lube and very slow penetration. Even now, her wank sessions take a bit to start off. But once her pussy adjusts to the size, it hits her in crevices that she didn't even know she had. She likes to kneel in front of her mirror with the base of the dildo on the floor just in front of her, holding the length of it up against her abs to visualise just how far it goes inside of her. Bad dragon dildos for a bad girl...

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The monstrous dildos do a very sufficient job of filling up her pussy, but Chaeryeong wants to be double stuffed and have things up her juicy ass too. She can’t get over how cute fluffy cat tail anal plugs look, and wants to have one (or two, or three) for her growing collection.

Yuna

One morning when they were getting ready for their schedule, Yuna and Ryujin were standing by the bathroom vanity, when Yuna's electric toothbrush was cutting in and out of power. The older girl made a sly comment about it. "Is the battery faulty? You only just charged it yesterday..." Yuna brushed off her remark whilst blushing, telling her Unnie to shush. They both knew the real reason. Yuna would brush her teeth with her electric toothbrush, feeling it vibrate in her hand, and one day her intrusive thoughts took over. Bzzzzzzttt it went, vibrating against her lips, though it wasn't in her mouth...

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If she was attached to her toothbrush before, she was now straight up obsessed with her rabbit vibrator. Where the toothbrush was thin, her rabbit was thick. Where the toothbrush was a gentle buzz, her rabbit vibrated hard. And where the toothbrush had her rubbing her clit with her free hand, the rabbit ears did that for her. This thing turned Yuna into a crazed little cum machine and she may or may not be addicted to jilling off with it.

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Yuna couldn't imagine a better toy at getting her tight little pussy off, so she’s opted for branching out to accessories that stimulates and turns her on instead. A ball gag, to help shut herself up so that her roommates don’t have to hear her fucking her rabbit for the 4th time in a day (hint, they can still hear her, and it turns them on just as much as it annoys them for being such a distraction). And nipple clamps, so that she can have her nipples pinched hands free.

All In Us!

This one is shared. Nobody explicity says it out loud but they all get off harder at the thought of sharing a toy; the material being glass has the added benefits of temperature retention and being easy to clean and take care of. If there’s one toy that always gets brought whilst travelling, it’s this one. It started off as them all passing around a hairbrush (which was tooootally only used to brush their hair) but Yeji thought it was starting to get ridiculous that they were using the handle of a hairbrush in this manner so she went and ordered them a glass dildo. When the girls are feeling particularly nasty there are days that the dildo gets shared around without cleaning it between uses. Cream and cum flows freely on the glass; getting passed around like a slut, accumulating everyone’s wetness and dirty fantasies.

To start off, Yeji had just driven home and was parked outside. She had been waiting to fuck herself all day and finally had the chance to. Pulling the glass dildo out of her bag, she slicks it up with her mouth, getting it coated with spit and ready for her pussy. Getting on top for a ride, she knows how to angle it just right so that the glass hits her g-spot with every buck of her hips, leaving a squirty mess over her car seat by the time she’s done. She wipes up after herself and heads inside, walking away from the fogged up windows of her car.

Lia welcomes her home and watches her place the wet glass dildo on the front door table, as if it were a mundane item like house keys or a letter. And that’s how the sharing starts. Lia retrieves the toy for herself, and is already a little wet by the time she reaches the bathroom. With her face pressed against the vanity, she uses one hand to fuck herself from behind, and the other to rub her clit, all to the mental image she has conjured up of Yeji’s squirty mess. Lia's angelic moans bounce off the bathroom tiles to the beat of her bent over railing. Once she’s done, she leaves the glass toy on the counter top.

Ryujin knows what Lia gets up to in the bathroom, and not so sneakily ducks in there to grab it after Lia leaves. Back in her room, she happily licks up the still warm glass, tasting Lia’s sweet honey. Once she's slurped up all of Lia's cum and has sufficiently replaced it with her own spit, she pulls up an image on her phone from her private folder (which may or may not be exclusive 'selfies' that Lia sent her). Facing down on her stomach, she bucks against the glass dildo, squeezing it with her velvety walls whilst grinding her clit on her wrist.

She gets a message notification from Chaeryeong - 'Unnie it's my turn when you're done.' Chae waits patiently in the next room over, listening to the consistent creaking of Ryujin's bed. Ryujin exits her bedroom and catches Chaeryeong in the hallway. She holds up the used dildo, attempting to make eye contact with a half smirk and a fucked out expression, but the younger girl is too shy and meekly grabs it from her hand without looking, giggling as she walks off to her own room. Chaeryeong is fucking ready to be filled up, and has her face down and ass up within seconds of closing the door. She rubs the glass along her tight little ass hole and then her pussy, lubing them both up with Ryujin's cum. She then pushes in, pounding away at her pussy with it - whatever remained of her Unnie's cum is now thoroughly mixed in with her own. She rubs her ass with her free hand, easily slipping in one, then two fingers thanks to the cum lube. Chaeryeong quickly reaches her climax this way, feeling like such a dirty slut fucking both of her holes.

Even though Chaeryeong makes a good effort to keep her voice contained, through the walls Yuna can hear the creamy slaps as her Unnie pounds into herself. Yuna had already made herself cum once during all of this, but she was a crazed fuck bunny who rarely stopped at one orgasm. Once again, the abused toy gets passed along. From the tip to the base, the dildo is coated with globs of Chaeryeong’s thick cream. Yuna makes sure to nibble at it a bit, then leans back and fucks herself silly. Simultaneously, she gropes at her perky tits, pinching her hard nipples. The stimulation and knowing that the toy has been passed down the line from every member all the way down to her, has her tight cunt squeezing at the glass dildo as she nuts. Pulling it out, she licks at it like a lollipop, cleaning off all that girl cum.

What toy will Itzy as a group buy next? Well to be honest, they should probably skip the middleman and just start directly fucking each other. They're already intimately familiar with each others moans of pleasure through the walls, and even what each other tastes like. It'll happen sooner or later, and Ryujin does have that strap-on after all...

A/N: If you couldn't tell by the image, this is mostly inspired by Chaeryeong's facial massage roller meme from one of their 'what's in my bag' videos. I also read @minheelovelee's post about Yuna's sex toys a while back, which served as inspo too. If anyone's interested I want to do a girl penis version of this as well.