#for a little bit

[blip-blip-blop]

"Arthur's lucky to have us" - "Not Arthur"

[millenniumringg]

Hellooooo angstshipping community

[sackoflower]

okay MAYBE i'll get one more tattoo and then i'll calm down

[stillfrownyclownlol]

I'm kinda sad cuz I relapsed, so. TW: for...semi graphic self harm? And negative thoughts?

Picked to the Bone

It started small. That's how things usually did, something miniscule, like a tumor missed during an X-ray scan until it was too late.

It was meaningless in the thought Aiden had given to it, that was to say, none at all. A scratch, a white line of raw skin. A baby cut, a scrapped knee. You had to pinch around it so it'd bleed.

He hadn't even been looking to hurt himself, that first time, it was just- curiosity.

There was the before, and the after. Before that, he could always say, no matter how bad it got, no matter how many days he decomposed in bed, no matter how long he didn't eat anything but ramen that he'd always puke back up, no matter how much urine soaked through his mattress, at least he could say that he wasn't one of those people. Attention seekers.

And then there was after. He couldn't take it back. Even invisible, he knew the mark was etched into his skin. It was a weakness.

There was a kind of release in it, though. He'd forever be that kind of person, so why not indulge himself?

Self-hatred is not innate, you must learn it, and she is a cruel teacher. But he'd always been a dedicated student. He was good at dealing with pain, graduated to styro swiftly. Spongy and white and soft under his knife, blood bubbling and staining the sink. His scars were raised skin, rough like a melon rind, made him want to open them all over again.

It was the easiest way to feel alive.

When Ben moved in, he didn't quite have the time, the privacy, not even half the urge to keep up. If Ben walked in on him bleeding on the bathroom floor, blade behind his back, he never said anything. Sat on his haunches and patched him as best as he could, red seeping through gauze.

They had matching wrists, the same scars. Blood brothers.

Oh, and when he met her. There was nothing better, nothing that could replicate the precise feeling she induced in him. Her hair was red, beautiful. Not like his eyes, not like his blood.

But it wasn't enough. He'd never dare to push her, and this was the poorest of substitutes, but it'd had to suffice for now.

He held the tip of the blade against his vein, felt it pulse against the metal.

Hate yourself, loathe yourself, despise yourself, and then you can do it.

He truly deserved this.

He could've been quick, plunge the knife and slash it, but an honest abhorrence made you want to suffer. He sank the blade into flesh, yielding easily, grit his teeth so hard it felt like they'd break.

It was done. Picked to the bone.

His breath shuddered, heartbeat roaring in his ears, made his eyelids twitch. Everything reminded him of being alive.

He heard his phone buzz, loud against the porcelain of the sink top, saw it light up like a beacon in the darkness.

He leaned forward, body heavy. The smell of copper flooding his nose. His hand was still shaking when he grabbed it, the weight of it in his palm pulling him back to reality.

Ash <3: hey. can i come over

He looked at his arm, tried to estimate how long it would take to wash away the blood, bandage it. He wanted to see her soon.

Aiden: sure! let me clean up :)

[soulflatter]

"Oh how did it go wrong. Test the size? Check. Set up for a funny nonstop nut November protocol if Seiga-nyanyan askes for it."

"Ah.. did I inject a partial directory into the process...No restraints, impulsive reactions, giant killer level cock, and part of my own Lust parameters. I may have created a monster, Seiga-nyan helpppp~"

[musical-chan]

Father of Time Chapter 70: The Family We Forged

The night at the Milk Bar went well.  After a hurried dinner where Anju kept apologising for letting Link sleep through most of the meal, their group made their way across the square.  Link led the way this time, as Kafei proclaimed he would prefer to spend the evening with his wife, followed by Malon and a laughing Saria wearing the cow mask.  Nocturne and Oceanis followed behind, all of them in much more casual clothes than the first time.  The bar was busy but not crowded and there were other performers lined up for the evening.  It was meant to be a casual, laid back evening full of food, drink and music. 

Link nervously offered to be first.  He couldn't explain why playing like this caused him to shake so much; after all, he played and sang almost constantly in front of anyone in hearing range.  Maybe it was just the pressure of being up on a stage with eyes only on you.  Mr. Barten gave him a wink and smile as he walked up to the stage, hands clutching the blue ocarina like a lifeline.

(read the rest on AO3!)

[mieczyhale]

got almost caught up on posts i had to read (not 'had' like 'forced', 'had' like 'was on my to-do list willingly thanks') BUT it's bedtime

i mean i'm gonna be on tumblr on my phone for awhile, i'm just relocating from the desktop computer to bed lol, but i gotta pause my reading for tonight

send me some blorbos for this bingo card thing please!! i have steve & bucky already waiting in my inbox (thank u, cole! <3) but i'd love to do more and i'm gonna try and do them on my phone

anyway okay b YE

[wormchomper]

Think I’m gonna go on hiatus for a bit because of exams… can’t afford to be thinking about dungeon meshi or animation while prepping for physics and maths and everything…

wish everyone else sitting exams luck for now! hope all my mutuals have a good one <3

[nightie-after-midnight]

omg since you said feanaro spitroasting an image just came into my head (unfortunately not spitroasting related but listen whatever):

imagine arafinwe fucking feanaro from behind except he’s doing it so pathetically, clinging onto him and making cute little whimpering noises and not even fucking him that hard, that feanaro actually feels a little bad for arafinwe and considers pushing him onto his back and fucking him instead

feanaro getting spitroasted is the core of noloaranaro 😊

awwwwww Arafinwe is so cute and affectionately pathetic :) For Once in his life Feanaro SHOULD take pity on Ara he should!

Thinking about Feanaro sitting back and the movement causes Arafinwe to just flop over and Fea literally thinks about just leaving him there. But idk he has a spark of compassion for him and look where that gets him.

[pirateshavefeelingstoo]

Will someone please come hold me? I feel like that’s not too much to ask for

[astralarias]

I need to write about Ruárn and Jioxa’s relationship in a bit because man, she loves him, but dating an ex-Mordrem who still can become mordrem when your first partner was killed by Mordremoth himself has gotta be…a lot to unpack.

[qnpc04]

what i would to do to see ccforever and ccbad’s dm’s … like how did the conversation and planning for this go ????? did forever tell bad everything he was going to do or did he just tell bad ‘hey show up at this time’ and bad rolled with it

[itspileofgoodthings]

i think (to speak sanely and in a practical manner for a minute rather than a self-pitying one) that it’s hard to both a) feel all you’re feeling, b) keep going and be a professional and also a daughter and a sister and a friend to all the people in your life. and you do have to do both! the way out is through, it’s time, it’s good not to melt down in the wrong time and context, in places where it wouldn’t be helpful and would just be a weight for everyone else. but the melting down still needs to happen. the tears still need to be cried and the feelings felt. and it’s just. the balance of that is part of what is so hard to strike. 

[gatheryepens]

I made focaccia!!! :)