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wren-kitchens · 2 months ago

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meet me halfway

3511 words

mumbo stares at the retreating figure of grian like his life depends on it, head spinning with far, far too many thoughts to even begin to comprehend what on earth just happened. he doesn't have nearly enough brainpower for this- if mumbo was an engine, he'd be rattling and shooting out sparks at an alarming rate. honestly, he’s quite surprised he hasn't exploded yet. goodness. okay- god, no, there's no way that can actually have just happened. no way- that was just something mumbo hallucinated. grian can’t have just- there's no possible way. mumbo's heart is pounding against his ribs, his breathing is practically hyperventilation, but it was- it can’t have been real, because if it was real then grian just-

honestly I just really wanted to write an 'oh' moment and I haven't written grumbo in a while, so here we are

tumblr formatting is being weird so if you see any mistakes, no you don't <3

goodness. okay- god, no, there's no way that can actually have just happened. no way- that was just something mumbo hallucinated. grian can’t have just- there's no possible way. mumbo's heart is pounding against his ribs, his breathing is practically hyperventilation, but it was- it can’t have been real, because if it was real then grian just-

grian just kissed him. and mumbo kissed back, and- and he liked it, and now he wants more, and he might just have a name for that nagging warmth that has followed grian's laughs and his smiles and when his hand would brush mumbo's, and that's just- it's bizarre. but it's so incredible, and it's so awful, and there's no possible way he can deny it anymore- and oh, god there's no possible way he can deny it anymore-

because mumbo might just be in love with grian. that- grian just kissed him, and now he knows- he knows the way it feels to have grian's hand against his waist, and he knows how grian's lips feel against his own, and he can never stop knowing- and there's no way mumbo can ever stop thinking about it, and oh god is he cursed to forever sit useless and lovestruck on this beach and watch as grian walks away whilst knowing all of that?

and grian doesn't know. grian doesn't know that mumbo has spent nights upon nights thinking of his face and wondering what it means, and he doesn’t know that mumbo replays the moment of every time he made him laugh in his mind on a loop, and he doesn’t know that mumbo is staring at the blurry outline of him and wishing desperately that sand was easier to run on so he could grab his hand and tell him it all. never in his life has anyone fit so perfectly by mumbo's side, and grian doesn’t even know-

okay. he should- he should probably take a second. wow- okay. gosh.

almost absentmindedly, mumbo rubs a thumb across his bottom lip, half imagining what it would be like if it were grian's thumb. oh- and now he’s flustered again. you know- he should really have taken tango's advice when he got it: don’t hang out with pretty men, you’ll fall for them way too quickly. and mumbo thought he was just being hyperbolic- what a fool he was! god- no wonder jimmy and tango are such idiots- they've been dealing with this the whole time!

and- oh goodness, grian just kissed him! he just- it's like a romance novel, and now mumbo is losing his mind in a completely different way, because- well, grian kissed him! he did the thing where- he pulled mumbo in by the collar of his shirt, and he kissed him, and- oh gosh, he’s going bright red again. this is so embarrassing.

mumbo pushes himself off the ground (and that's even more embarrassing- he fell to the floor when his crush kissed him. gosh.), fully prepared to be the worst possible cliche and run after grian, when the man in question looks over his shoulder. and something in mumbo's brain combusts when he realises that grian is coming back.

y’know what- he was wrong; this is the most cliche he’s ever going to get. grian is running towards him, and mumbo is running too, and he can just imagine the stupid slow-mo cinematic shot that the two of them are creating right now, and he doesn’t care, because all that matters is that he reaches grian. because he’s in love! mumbo is in love with grian, and- gosh, how crazy is that?

grian is barely a few metres away, and all mumbo can think about is that kiss. so when mumbo glances briefly (so briefly! barely even a second of glance!) at grian's lips, his already fried brain finally explodes, and all of a sudden mumbo is face-down in the sand. grian is laughing at him, and that's only making it worse, because now he’s both embarrassed and enormously endeared, because- wow, he really does love grian's laugh.

when mumbo looks up, brushing the sand out of his moustache, grian is knelt in front of him with that life-ruiningly fond grin on his face, and mumbo is going to explode again. "i’m- I shouldn’t have ran. i'm sorry- I didn’t even-"

"shut up for one second." mumbo says, out of breath, pushing himself up so he’s face to face with grian.

their eyes meet, and it's as if the whole world goes silent as mumbo raises a hand to cup his face. grian is staring at him with that indecipherable expression, but when mumbo begins to pull away, he presses his hand against mumbo's, keeping it in place. it's so- it's all utterly bizarre, and in the best way possible, because mumbo is tracing grian's cheekbones with his thumbs, and grian is staring at him with nothing short of adoration, and mumbo might just be losing his whole mind because-

"I love you." mumbo breathes, watching the way grian's eyes widen with such interest. "I can't- I never even considered something like this could ever happen- I was so confused!" he laughs. "I had no idea- and then you kissed me and I- I still can't believe that, honestly. you! you’re so beautiful- and you kissed me!"

grian is laughing too, and he’s blushing- and oh goodness, mumbo made him blush, how incredible is that? "i've- you know, i’ve been lamenting to tango a little bit-" mumbo gasps in mock outrage. "i- no actually, i’m allowed, you’re an idiot. anyway, we agreed- you’re just as bad as jimmy."

"what? I can't be that bad!" mumbo exclaims, but in all honesty, he can’t help but agree a little. it- he may or may not have gotten distracted staring at grian's lips midway through his sentence; he’s a complete idiot—especially if grian is with him.

"I- mumbo." grian says, surprisingly breathless, and mumbo looks up to see him flushed pink. oh. oh- was that- is that because of him? "you can't just- oh my god."

"you- I blame you for this!" mumbo feels his own face growing hot, stomach fluttering. "I wouldn’t have known if you hadn't kissed me!"

grian lifts a hand to mumbo's cheek, and mumbo's engine of a brain is shooting sparks once again. "how could i not?" he says, almost to himself as he rubs his thumb against mumbo's lips, who might actually explode this time.

"grian," mumbo's voice is barely a whisper, and it occurs to him that they must have started leaning in at some point, because their faces are so much closer than they were a moment ago.

apparently distracted by mumbo's lips (which- wow. that's- that is happening. okay), grian gives a little hum of answer.

"can-" mumbo puts a hand on grian's, and he looks up. there's a look that flashes across grian's face when their eyes meet, and it's almost smug—as if he knows just how much fire mumbo's brain is on right now. "can you kiss me?"

grian's lips twitch into a half smile, and he tilts his head, leaning in until their noses barely brush. "gladly." his breath ghosts mumbo's face, but before he has time to even process this, the gap between them is closed.

somehow, it's even better the second time. grian's hand is cupping his cheek, the other gravitating towards his waist, and it's all mumbo can do not to explode as he leans into grian. it's honestly unbelievable- mumbo wonders, as grian's hand rubs gently against his waist, if this is all just an incredible dream. this theory is quickly wiped from his mind, along with any other hint of rational thought, as grian begins to run his hand through mumbo's hair. y’know- if this is a dream, mumbo would rather not wake up.

after what feels like a lifetime—and yet far, far too soon—the two of them are forced to pull away for air. mumbo is grinning like an idiot, and grian is flushed pink but smiling just as much, and they just kissed! again!

"so- um. what- are we-" mumbo seems to have forgotten the english language mid-kiss. which- okay, that's embarrassing. he thought that was just something people made up for romances. "would you consider us to be- um. what- what would you-"

grian presses a kiss against mumbo's lips, very effectively shutting him up long enough to say, "I would like to be your partner. if- if you also would like that."

for a moment, it's all mumbo can do to nod enthusiastically, and grian (being the incredibly rude man he is) cackles at him. "I- I would definitely like that." mumbo manages, smiling shyly.

"good." grian says, and mumbo can just tell he’s trying to sound calmer than he is. it's cute. mumbo wants to poke it. "because- I mean, it's not like you had much of a choice. you’re mine now- it's not really optional."

mumbo tilts grian's chin upward and kisses his lips, grinning as grian blinks in flustered surprise. "i’m not mad about that."

never has mumbo ever seen someone look so pleased and so indignant at the same time before. "you- you did that on purpose!"

mumbo laughs, and grian can't keep up the silly pout he was attempting. "of course I did! you kissed me- out of nowhere, and left me alone!"

"oh I see," grian says, clearly trying to stay annoyed, but he can’t stop giggling to himself. "this is revenge."

mumbo kisses grian's nose, watching with glee as grian turns even pinker. "of course not." he says unconvincingly.

"oh my god- mumbo!" grian buries his face in his hands, and mumbo cackles.

"okay- i'll stop! i’m stopping, i’m stopping." mumbo grins, and- okay, maybe he just wants to see grian's face again. what, are you gonna sue him? you- please don't, actually. "i’m sorry- I apologise."

grian moves his hands away from his face, giving mumbo a suspicious look. wow- he really does know him, doesn’t he? "I don’t trust that voice." he jabs at mumbo's chest, grinning a little.

embarrassingly, mumbo feels himself turn pink. "I- well, is- would it be weird if I said I just wanted to look at you?"

within an instant, grian turns more red than mumbo has ever seen him—apparently speechless, because all he does is stare as mumbo starts to laugh at his expression.

"it's just-" mumbo raises a hand to stroke grian's cheek, watching with delight as grian melts into the touch. "you’re just so beautiful." he murmurs, beginning to trace the outline of his jaw with the tips of his fingers. mumbo reaches his chin, and tilts it upward ever so slightly. "I can't believe I never.." he trails off, distracted by how soft grian's lips feel against his fingers.

grian looks like he could very well melt into a puddle; voice slightly raspy when he says, "mumbo, you- you’re killing me here."

mumbo grins, stomach fluttering at the fact that he flustered grian. "I did say it was revenge." he leans in ever so slightly, glancing very intentionally at grian's lips before pulling his gaze away. honestly, it's a marvel to see grian so shy- usually that's mumbo. "I just.." his smugness softens into something far more affectionate than he would ever admit again. "I love you."

"if- if you don't kiss me in the next five seconds," grian starts, entirely out of breath and positively beetroot-coloured. "i’m actually going to die, and it will weigh on your conscious forever."

mumbo tilts grian's face upwards ever so slightly, and- okay, maybe he’s taking a little longer to do this than he otherwise would. it's- in his defence, grian's reactions are just too incredible to let slip by; mumbo can’t just miss them. "well, since you asked so nicely." he teases, pausing just long enough to watch grian's expression shift to something simultaneously flustered and exasperated before he leans in.

grian kisses him with the air of someone who has seconds left to live, and mumbo can’t help but melt into him as grian presses closer—nails digging bluntly into the fabric of his jeans. it's all mumbo can do to kiss back, brain turning to mush at the insane reality that grian is kissing him- and that he’s kissing him because he loves him. it's all- there's no possible way that mumbo is coming out of this with his sanity still intact.

all too soon, grian pulls back, and mumbo makes an embarrassing noise of complaint. their faces are so close, mumbo can feel grian's breath on his cheeks. he might just explode. "just- just to clarify," grian pants, and- wow. okay, that- wow. "is there anything you- you don't want me to do?"

"not- not in the slightest." mumbo breathes, and his voice sounds almost desperate. grian, apparently, seems to find this fact intoxicating rather than embarrassing. "maybe- i’d prefer you not to stop."

at that, grian presses a kiss to the corner of mumbo's mouth, smirking mischievously. "i’d never dream of it, mumbo." he whispers. oh, gosh.

within moments, they are kissing again, and mumbo sinks into it without a second thought—quite frankly, if he could make this last for all eternity, he would. grian must be noticing the way mumbo relishes his softness, because he has begun to cup his face, rubbing a thumb across mumbo's cheek. mumbo, of course, is finding it very difficult to think about anything other than that gentle touch through the haze of quiet breathing and comforting embraces, but- well, he can’t just let grian do all the work, can he? that- that would be rude.

grian makes a little noise of surprise as mumbo slips his hand into his hair, scratching gently at the nape of his neck, but within seconds, mumbo feels grian begin to melt against him. he has to admit- it's pretty cute—especially when grian pulls barely back to mumble, "is- is this revenge?"

mumbo can’t help but giggle at how red grian is, coupled with how pleased he is with- everything that's happening right now. "I- it wasn't my intention, but- y’know, it could be."

grian practically pouts, and mumbo is laughing even more now- which he doesn’t think was the intention behind that. "you’re so mean to me, mumbo."

"I- well, you- you were being so nice to me," mumbo says, feeling his face begin to warm as he watches grian realise what he means with delight. "I had to return the favour."

grian is grinning now, pout entirely forgotten in lieu of making fun of mumbo. "oh, mumbo-"

mumbo claps a hand over grian's mouth, enormously embarrassed by it all. grian continues to grin, but the fondness in his eyes betrays his true feelings. "that- we don't need to discuss it, actually. we can just- we can let the moment pass."

"i’m making a note of this in my mind." grian says. well- mumbo is pretty sure that's what he said, after all, his voice is muffled by mumbo's hand. "but- okay-" the look in his eye makes mumbo expect to be licked, and he moves his hand very quickly away. "hey!"

"you were gonna lick me." mumbo says, grinning at grian's offence. "weren't you?"

grian makes a sulky face, which is- far too pretty for his own good. "I was gonna kiss you." mumbo laughs, and grian's sulk drops almost immediately. which- frankly, the mischievous grin that replaces it should not be nearly as endearing as it is. "I wanted to watch your reaction—they're always cute."

mumbo barely has time to give a flustered huff of a laugh before grian is following up with, "but I was going to say, I have been paying attention." he says, and mumbo finds himself reeling.

"you- I hadn't even- oh my goodness." mumbo scrambles desperately to locate wherever his brain has ended up, because it's very obvious that it has completely abandoned him by now. "you- you actually thought about- gosh." he buries his face in his hands, and grian cackles.

"well, I just- you always liked it when I held your hand." grian is saying, and his grin is so abundantly obvious in his voice alone- he’s so audibly pleased with himself for getting it right. "and tango- I mean. I won't pretend we didn't talk-"

mumbo looks up so fast, he may have almost given himself whiplash. "what did tango tell you?" he says, pointedly ignoring how funny grian seems to be finding this whole conversation.

grian is still laughing when he finally answers, "well, he- he may have hinted a couple things. I didn’t know you guys used to date." he takes mumbo's hand and raises it to his lips. "he mentioned on the off-chance it'd be relevant.." grian presses a kiss against mumbo's knuckles, and oh he’s just so smugabout it that mumbo could melt.

"I- I can't believe this." mumbo barely manages. he’s fairly certain his face is cosplaying a beetroot by now. "you two- oh my goodness. why- how would you even- when did that become a- a topic of discussion?" embarrassingly, it seems as if his voice has abandoned him, leaving mumbo stuck with squeaks.

grian blushes, and mumbo feels a little better about his own disastrous response. "I- okay, it- it's not like I talked about you all the time, but I- you came up.. a lot."

mouth agape, it's all mumbo can do but stare for a long moment. grian, of course, finds this hilarious. "how would- I never even- are you kidding?"

"tango said you’d probably react like that." grian is grinning, and mumbo is going to dissolve. in a good way.

"I- y’know, maybe I should start telling jimmy this kind of stuff about tango." mumbo is still embarrassingly breathless, and grian laughs. "see now he likes it."

grian leans forward and presses a soft kiss to mumbo's lips, eyes ridiculously fond. "I think he'd probably appreciate you helping him out." he grins. "how do you think I got the courage to kiss you?"

mumbo can’t help softening slightly. "well. maybe i'll forgive him." he jabs grian in the forehead, grinning as he squawks in protest. "once I forgive you for leaving me alone after you kissed me." he exclaims.

grian cackles. "I- look, okay, I was freaked out-"

"you were freaked out?!" mumbo half-yells, unable to keep from grinning along. "grian- you just- you kissed me, and then��left! and then I had to realise that I was in love with you- and you left, so I couldn't even tell you-"

"I thought you were gonna hate me!" grian defends. "I couldn’t- but then I turned around and you were running, and immediately fell over-"

mumbo grins. "I just- I was thinking too much about you kissing me, and then I- I saw your lips, so-"

frankly, mumbo has never seen grian look so delighted in his life. "you fell over because you wanted to kiss me?!"

"I- well- kinda." mumbo says, heat rising in his face from both embarrassment and pleasure. "has that- is that just me?"

grian snorts, face reddening. "I- okay, I might- a week ago, I was. thinking about you a bit whilst me and jimmy were looking for crabs, and I wasn't- I forgot to pay attention, and I sorta. fell into the sea."

mumbo laughs harder than he thinks he’s laughed in weeks, not even trying to regain his composure as grian cackles along. "oh- oh my gosh- grian!" he squawks, trying to catch his breath again. "what- what I wouldn't pay to watch that." he grins. "do I really have that much of an effect?"

"well," grian glances away, looking suddenly embarrassed. "it's- you had that shirt, and you’d ditched your jacket 'cause it was hot, and- with the sleeves rolled up- it- uh. yeah." grian hides his face with his hand. "I got- I got distracted."

mumbo's face hurts from smiling so much, and he honestly doesn't care. "I- wow. I will be- i'll be making a note of that." he says, flattered.

grian looks back, grinning. "you’re gonna use this against me, aren't you?"

"who would I be if I didn't?" mumbo smiles, fonder than he meant to be.

grian leans forward and kisses mumbo, cupping his face as he does so. when he pulls back, mumbo finds himself chasing his lips—much to grian's amusement. grian tilts his head, smiling. "I love you."

mumbo turns his head to kiss grian's hand, stomach fluttering. "I love you too."

#hermitshipping #kissing #grumbo #mumbo jumbo #grian #this is technically in my dredge au but tbf you can't really tell aside from a couple things they mention #if you don’t know what the au is then you’re not gonna be lost at all #wren writes #this took me like four months to write btw so yk if it feels disjointed at times it's cause it is GKFHDK #the end might feel weird and that's cause I just wanted to be Done #trafficfic #hermitfic #I can’t remember if I need more tags

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avnasace · 30 days ago

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( 5.1 archon quest spoilers )

so it was really up there right on his helmet this whole time huh... big fuckin abyssal star... for like 2 years...

#apparently im blind and or stupid #maybe i missed some lore coz i really dont remember capitano lore being revealed before now #however it feels like a weak reveal for something that big #but to be fair they barely said fuck all about arlecchinos origins so #imagine if capitano was kaeyas dad ahahaha #(obviously hes not unless some wacky time travel shit is going on)#every new khaenriahn that gets revealed gets me thinking about kaeyas fam tho #also he called him dain #interesting #capitano mavuika and the war bit of the aq saved it tbh #part 1 was so fuckin disjointed and so bland to me. the world and lore and culture is so cool why do they keep fumbling the bag so hard #but then part 2 was so rushed. it had good enotional moments that just fell flat without proper buildup #pacing was so weird im disappointed but oh well. at least we get sumeru event #genshin 5.1 #genshin impact spoilers #genshin spoilers #capitano #genshin impact #natlan #ace rambles

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waywardstation · 3 months ago

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One last store update! After this I will begin sending emails to a subscriber list.

You can input your email of choice for my shop newsletter into this google form here.

A quick summary of some things:

I was unable to finish orders by printing their shipping labels by today, despite what I said last week, because of health issues that had to be addressed instead.

More of my product order was messed up, had enough items to fulfill every order but I’ve been left with ZERO extra stock on a couple items to put into my shop after.

I got enough interest in the Halloween keychains and stickers so I will be making them.

Full explanations below ^^

I have now packed every single order and reviewed all of their contents. However I was unable to send them out today as at some point last week I became very unwell. I’ve been going downhill for a while but it has never gotten to this degree this fast before. I still don’t really know what caused it and so I had been unable to pack over the weekend and couldn’t get all the shipping labels printed for them today.

I will be printing these labels out and taking chunks of the orders to the post office over the next few days.

But the more I’d packed the more I’d realized more of my product order had been messed up. I had ordered extras of everything and yet some of the products that I ordered just BARELY fulfilled every order — I had to use some of the initial samples to fulfill every order but rest assured they are the exact same as the products in size and quality. I have exactly ZERO of some products left over for shop stock when I’d ordered 10-15 extra of every item (as well as TOO MANY of some less popular products that didn’t need all these extras) which sadly means a few items will not be in stock when I open the store back up. I may put discounts on the unwanted extras I received because of this.

While I would expect by default to receive the products in the quantity that I ordered, I also understand that I ordered hundreds of products all in one order, and that is only one order that is being fulfilled out of the many other orders they get daily. I myself did not count out every single product to check because of the sheer amount of everything that was ordered — I had ordered over 500 keychains alone to fulfill the preorders and the entire order has taken up a full room when all spread out. But I still did not count beforehand and would only find out once I’d run out of a certain product, so I accept this is partly my responsibility too. This should not happen again as I never expect to make an order this big again, I had only done this for shop startup, and I will be making another order to restock these products. But it’s still sad it happened.

I apologize for this and I appreciate all of your patience once again. I am explaining all of this as I believe you are owed information about what is going on seeing as you’ve put money into this, and I myself said they would all be sent out by Monday. I just want to be transparent ^^

And one last thing — many of you wanted Halloween merchandise, so I will be moving forward with that! (I’ve decided they will not be glow in the dark though, as I’d have to make every vibrant color instead transparent for the glow to come through, and I believe the designs would suffer too much without these colors)

I have ordered from this manufacturer multiple times before over the years and they’ve always gotten it right with more reasonably-sized orders, so I am confident these will not have the same problems as this preorders period has.

Thank you again very much for your support and understanding up to this point!! <3

#I don’t know how long I’m still going to feel like this #basically it’s heart issues #at first I had thought I’d reacted really bad to caffeine in headache medication that I’d taken #because I cannot have caffeine #but it had never done that to me before and it’s been lasting for longer than caffeine would even be in my system #and maybe it still was the caffeine I don’t know #but for now #I do not know how long things will be like this #I can’t carry anything heavy or walk or stand for long periods of time right now #so I will have to take the orders in chunks over the course of about three days with some help probably #I promise I’m not pushing myself though I take breaks the moment I feel like I should #I’ve been getting help and this is a health issue I’ve already been trying to address and my job thankfully gave me some relief #so I’ve just been resting for a few days and thankfully have a head start on managing this #I do apologize if any of this has been disjointed or disconnected concentrating does not come easy right now #thank you all for your patience thus far it means so much to me

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chicabear15 · 10 months ago

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I think it's funny the fandom has accepted Michael being an arsonist because there is no actual 100% proof he's set anything on fire.

Henry set up the fnaf 6 building to burn down and Michael doesn't seem to be aware of this.

In the paper at the end of fnaf 3 it says that while foul play hasn't been ruled out, the fire was most likely due to faulty wiring.

I will acknowledge that Michael's speech being coupled with the burned remains of fazbear frights and the final fnaf 3 minigame in hw1 does have implications of it being foul play but that's only circumstantial evidence.

#five nights at freddy’s #fnaf #michael afton #sorry if this feels kinda disjointed #this thought has been in my head for weeks #and i needed to get it out #also i havent read any of the short stories beyond the first fazbear frights book #anything else i know from fazbear frights or tales of the pizzaplex is from theories #so while i dont think theres anything that challenges this i dont know if there actually is #i do enjoy all the arson jokes #i like the collective character we've made from one actual voice line and a book

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neurotonic · 8 months ago

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Ouh. I really like how out of all the antagonists in the series, Prism's motivations (and her turning to Zoraxis) are directly influenced by Phoenix's track record. She has the most personal beef with the agent, though it's a little ironic that her TK implant helped the agent's success. If it weren't for Prism, Phoenix wouldn't be the legend that they are known for.

...Except...That's minimizing Phoenix's own ingenuity and skill with the implant, isn't it? It's a useful tool, yes! But in the end, it's just a tool. Phoenix was able to use it in unique ways, and that's not counting whatever else Phoenix has to do in the moment without TK. If it weren't for Phoenix's own efforts (and their strange ability to not Die), Prism wouldn't be forced to take revenge.

They're their own self-made people, but inevitably they left such a huge impact on each other before the third game...and if Prism wasn't the one who personally added the implant in Phoenix's head, then they haven't even interacted in person!

It could be seen as a little tragic, and it sorta is--Prism's desire for revenge is a little misplaced (and, yes, it is bolstered by Zor when she switches to their side). For all we know, Phoenix never intended to be the villain in Prism's story. But Prism's frustrated and angry and devastated about being reduced to the One Project she made. She just wanted to make something bigger than herself.

And it's really nice to see Phoenix help her once she recognizes that Zor's been using her all this time...even if it takes some time for Prism to really let them help her.

It takes the combination of their unique skills, brainpower, and their eventual trust in one another to destroy Zor's volcano kinesium base. Prism gets saved by the person she thought made her dreams impossible, and in return, Phoenix gets saved in the one IEYTD ending where they're not declared legally dead. I feel like that's something interesting? Because this is also the one finale where Phoenix has an active ally working with them close to their side (...as close as Prism and Phoenix could get, anyway).

Well. Anyway. What was I talking about? Enemies who are closely intertwined with one another's journeys end up becoming each other's most important allies? Okay, yeah. Let's go with that.

#ieytd #i expect you to die #roxana prism #agent phoenix #Could be shippy but it's focused more on their friendship #and parallels..might tag it but it's not really all there. feel free to though #i meant to like .. write more about them but my ideas are disjointed n all over the place #so you guys get this one part for now lmao #i Need to listen to more of Prism's voicelines. i forget how much she heckles on Phoenix's abilities #in the earlier parts #she calls their techniques... 'uniquely clever' in the mines (sarcastic)#and she's like 'took you long enough' in blind spot #personally i love 'hey if it's dumb and it works; it just works! Good job' in kboom #GIRL. you're so funny you know that. twirling my hair #anyways #gene rambles #idk if this is readable. it's probably all over the place #but it's also half of my explanation on the 'you made me as i made you' line #that i wrote. on that doodle dump i made #ieytd 3 #ieytd 3 spoilers #um yeah uh yeah my blogs full of that. sorry #i expect you to die 3 spoilers

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afrenomes · 4 months ago

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It feels like I’ve forgotten how to make art

which sucks because I’m supposed to be, like, making a career out of this

#i have a fucking degree and it feels like i’ve forgotten everything i’ve learned #not really forgotten tho just having a hard time applying it #and all my ideas are floating around in my head and i cant get a concrete picture of exactly what i wanna do #and when i try to sit down and draw something i can only do a few minutes then i get lost in floaty disjointed ideas again #like i can only do extremely rough sketches atm but when i try to do anything more refined #my mind feels like white noise and i can’t figure out what to do so i stop #and then i look at my former classmates’ social media and they’ve got jobs and have completed lots of work since graduating!#how?#and then all my doubts start to creep in like i can’t make good complete-looking work #and i don’t /actually/ want this bc i struggle with drawing consistently and stuff #ughhhhhhh #ship makes a personal post

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xadenviolct · 2 days ago

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Men would rather see the realm put to the torch, than see a woman ascend the iron throne.

Needless to say, there are so many quotes from media (books, movies, television, etc.) that have spoken to me today (especially). From Padme to Leia, from Hermione to Katniss, from Aelin and Feyre and Violet, from every single warrior who has fought for a better world and never given up and always hoped for the better--

Media has always been what has gotten me through times like this. When the utter stupidity (which, I feel, isn't even a strong enough word to truly express the severity of the whole thing) is so great, and I've gone between utter and complete disgust and rage to disbelief and numbness.

And run the entire realm of emotions in between.

So forgive me if this post is a bit... disjointed. It's a true "let me get my thoughts down because I need to write them somewhere before my head utterly explodes" kind of thing.

I don't even know where to begin, in many ways. Because how do you truly put into words these feelings? How do you truly express the utter and complete disgust with mankind that you feel, when you didn't even set the bar very high to begin with? When you had it set extremely LOW, even, because of multiple factors:

They are in a CULT. Led by a con man. There can truly be no denying that whatsoever. And cults, by definitions, do not follow logic and reason and sense.

People are stupid. And hateful. And tend to vote "party" no matter what (in a lot of cases).

The American education system (especially in regards to history, civics, literature, etc.) is utterly horrible--and certain Powers That Be want to keep it that way because an ignorant populace is always easier to control.

And those are just SOME reasons I set the bar low. But at the same time, I had the smallest little nugget of hope:

Surely, the hypocrisy will be called out and stopped? Surely, the utter hate & division (and bullying & insulting & name-calling) will make some people open their eyes? Surely, the fact that so many prominent members of the Republican Party (lifelong senators & military leaders, etc) who have openly endorsed the Democratic candidate--as well as spoken on the dangers of re-electing that man--will show people that there are GIANT FLASHING WARNING SIGNS going off?

Surely, America can learn a little bit from history?

Right?

As a woman, it sickens me even more to see this country say, once again, that it will elect a man like that over a woman. For no other reason than the fact that he is a man, and she is a woman.

Because there can be no other reason, no matter what anyone tries to claim.

That this was even a question at all in the first place, and that there were those who were "undecided" at any time over which candidate to choose, proves that.

Because while a lot of the American system needs fixed (and while yes, the two-party system doesn't always give you "the best" options), it is VERY clear that we're not changing that part of the process any time soon.

So the USA really looked at a black woman who was intensely qualified on every single level, who ran a wonderful campaign in a shorter time than any other candidate in recent history, who spoke of trying to heal the division, to work with everyone, to make this a UNITED country--

And the majority of voters really said:

No, we will take the rapist. The felon. The schoolyard bully. We will take the fascist whose entire campaign was nothing but insults and name-calling. Of division and spreading hate. Of basically declaring those who didn't side with them "enemies".

The majority of American voters really looked at Kamala Harris and Tim Walz, and decided that everything they (American people) claim to hate about politics (division, lies, hypocrisy)--in other words, the entire campaign of Donald Trump and JD Vance--was the better option for this country.

Disappointed is not strong enough. Disgusted is not strong enough. Angry, sick-- There is no word that I can think of that is strong enough to fully express everything I've felt today, with this country.

There are times I have been "embarrassed" by America. Many actions in the early 2000s from President Bush. In 2016 when the nation first elected Trump. I thought I was in an alternate nightmare reality then, because I could not believe they were really that stupid.

But to see them do so again? To see, in the last 4 years since he lost in 2020, for him to do nothing but whine and argue and deny the facts like a fucking toddler throwing a damn tantrum*, only for this nation to say, "Yes, we want to elect this man again"--

I want to scrub the blood, the American identity, from my very DNA. I want to never see an American flag again. There is nothing to be proud of in this nation, when that ends up as the majority decision.

*And I would also like to note that Kamala acted like an actual adult, in that she conceded the race. That despite how utterly sick & disgusted we are, the Democratic Party is not whining and throwing some god-awful tantrum and fit, claiming CHEATER?

But hey, America, you wanted the toddler. You wanted the schoolyard bully.

Because god forbid we elect a black woman instead!

And now, I have something to say to all the so-called religious people. To all the so-called Christians.

Every single atheist and agnostic person I have ever met is far, far more "Christ-like" than you will ever be.

And when you die, and you stand before the God you believe in, be sure to tell Jesus just how much you hated your fellow neighbor. Just how much you did not follow what should be so easy:

"Love Thy Neighbor."

Because I know you just love quoting and throwing scripture at people, so have this one:

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and fed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" (Matthew 25: 35-40)

So I'm sure your Jesus knows of the hate in your heart. Of the true depth of your hypocrisy. Of claiming to do good in his name, when your actions are the complete opposite of what his words and teachings are.

Because while I may not believe any longer, I have the knowledge and the background and the understanding of what the Christian religion should be. What it is supposed to be.

And it is because of people like you that I do not. That I have seen far more "good people", "righteous people" and "kind people" that are not religious than I ever have of those who tie themselves to a particular faith.

So yes, as you stand all holier-than-thou in your churches, only to spew hate and bigotry every other day, know that your actions speak far, far louder than your words.

And if you truly believe (as you claim), then God knows that. Knows what is truly in that heart of yours.

I am sorry you feel like you must bring the entire country down with you. I am sorry that you feel like the entire world must succumb to your religious doctrine, your religious faith. I am sorry that you cannot grasp that "separation of Church & State" and "freedom of religion" are so integral to what the American society is supposed to be...

Because if you only want CHRISTIAN faith, and CHRISTIAN knowledge and CHRISTIAN doctrine and prayer-- but rebel at the idea that the Islamic faith or the Jewish faith or the Hindu faith or the Pagans or any of the other many, many other religions (and those who do not tie themselves to a particular religion at all)--would have equal opportunity and share and have their faith and "commandments" posted and beliefs made law...

Then you are a big, fucking HYPOCRITE.

But I honestly could expect nothing less.

You have a right to your religion. Your belief. Your practices. You can raise your children as secular or as religious as you wish. You can make your health decisions based on what you believe, based on your personal choices, your personal circumstances.

That is YOUR right.

What so many of you fail to understand is that you do NOT have the right to tell everyone else to live by your religion or your belief. To practice a faith that you hold. To make health decisions based on a religion that has nothing to do with them, or a government dictating what can and cannot be done in health decisions between a patient and a doctor.

The only people that should be allowed such a decision? The patient and the doctor. Anyone else that the patient wishes to bring into the conversation is the PATIENT'S choice.

Not. Yours.

Not the government's.

To finish this off (for now?), I'll say this...

I know it is tiring. It is exhausting, always fighting this fight. To prove, time and again, that we matter. That we (as women, as poc, as lgbtq+, as disabled, as mentally ill, etc) are real and living people deserving of a quality of life as good as anyone else. That none of us should be treated like second-class citizens.

And right now, I'm too utterly disgusted with everyone and so completely depressed-- I have gone in waves of feeling utter screaming rage, insane laughter, and numbness.

But then I go back to the beginning -- to media, to what has always been there:

"It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Fold in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something. What are we holding on to, Sam? That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

So we will fight. Because despite the bad, despite the disgust and the exhaustion that weighs so heavily, there is still that good. There are still those who try to fight for that sanity. For reason. For logic.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

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sundayswiththeilluminati · 2 years ago

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Well, it’s been a week and I've had time to cool down and put together my thoughts on Season of the Seraph and its ending. So here goes.

The season finale plot did not require Rasputin to die. "The eliksni are trying to get control of the warsats" is literally a strike. If the warsats needed to be taken off the table as a get-out-of-jail-free card we could have blown the network and kept Rasputin himself. There was an active decision to kill him. Having thought about it, I think I understand why this decision was made - but I still think it's a terrible decision, and I'll explain why.

Before we start, I don't want to sound like I'm going after Destiny's narrative team either personally or professionally. I'm not calling them terrible writers, much less terrible people. I don't know them! They might even be terrible people, for all I know. While I refer to a single monolithic "narrative team," I know in reality there are multiple groups working on different stories. I’m not a professional writer, and they are. And I genuinely believe all of them are talented people who work hard and care about Destiny. But that doesn't mean I don't have some criticisms.

After considering it I think there are three possible reasons to kill Rasputin:

1). The narrative team believed this was a good emotional conclusion that brought closure to his character arc in Destiny. In this case I just think they're flat-out wrong. I'd say "I respect it" but I kind of don't because I think it's so terribly wrong. I don't know what other people think Rasputin's character arc involved, but I won't get closure till Rasputin faces the Witness again and finally ends the war he's been trapped in for centuries. But I get why they would do it, if they believed this. And that final mission was really good. I had a hard time noticing at the time, but it was very well-done, and the cutscene proper was well-shot, -scripted, and -acted (though I'm still angry about the Traveler upstaging Rasputin's death). They put a huge amount of effort into it and into the story work all season long.

But his death being well-done doesn’t change whether I think it was a good narrative choice. Even saying “Rasputin’s arc should conclude here,” the way it was set up had him sacrificing himself to basically cancel himself out. Unless they’re saving up a plot twist, Rasputin ultimately contributed nothing to the fight. He didn’t do any damage to the Fleet or Witness, or anything to stymie Xivu Arath. He died thinking he’d never helped humanity at all and it was safer if he didn’t exist. I don’t know about you, but I find that extremely unsatisfying.

2). Someone doesn't like Rasputin/doesn't know what to do with him. This is two reasons, but they overlap. The Operation: Sancus mission dialogue pissed me off because it gave me the impression that whoever was writing it really didn't like Rasputin and was taking the chance to morally excoriate him. A more subtle version recurs in the final mission where Rasputin is essentially sacrificing himself to null out his own existence - saying "as long as I exist I'm a threat to humanity" - as if he can't ever help or contribute more than endanger people, which is just flat-out wrong. "Humanity doesn't need a Warmind" you're part of humanity, Red. He’s a person; he doesn’t need to justify living. If someone just decided Rasputin Was Bad Actually I’d be very angry indeed. But I don't think it's that personal. Destiny has lots of writers and multiple narrative teams will touch the same work. One person's distaste probably wouldn't steer an entire season.

Related, however, is the reason that maybe no one knows what to do with Rasputin. To be honest I sympathize with this one. Would it shock anyone to hear I've thought about how I would script a Rasputin-focused season? It's surprisingly hard to build a plot around him. A game needs to be interactive and Rasputin's kind of all or nothing - either he can handle the whole problem himself or he can't do anything at all. Red also mostly plays defense. He doesn't have a goal he's working towards other than "kill the Witness/save humanity." You need to come up with a plausible goal that we can believably help him achieve, and that's nontrivial. But, well, that's why I'm not a professional games writer and these people are. "Not sure what do" is not IMO sufficient justification for assassinating one of Destiny's oldest characters/factions.

3). The Destiny narrative team is trying to "declutter" the setting and foreground story by sidelining characters who take a lot of lore to understand. I think this is the real reason, and it's worth talking more about.

A lot of us lore-nerds have long complained about Destiny not foregrounding its setting and story, and Bungie has responded by trying to do so. I think we didn't consider what that would actually look like. Imagine Destiny's story like a long movie. Now imagine people are constantly coming and going from the audience, and everyone who comes in has to nudge their neighbor and go, "hey, what's happening?" Destiny is always (hopefully) acquiring new players, and existing ones are dropping out and coming back. Even most established players either don't read the lore or don't track/remember it. We the lore-keepers are very much the anomaly. If we want story to be a focus, that story also has to be more accessible to new players, lapsed players, people who don't bother reading loretabs, etc., because otherwise it harms their experience and there's a lot more of them than there are of us.

I think this is why we've seen a lot of seasons that introduce whole new concepts - the eliksni Sacred Splicers, for instance - rather than following on existing storylines. Introducing a mostly-new concept puts new and old players on a similar footing. Haunted is another type of compromise between the goal of furthering the story and the goal of making it accessible. Calus and Leviathan are back, but so warped that old players have as much to learn as new ones, and the Sever missions dive deep into character pasts but pretty explicitly describe the emotional arcs they're illustrating, so you don't have to be familiar with that character to get what they're going through. To those who already know Zavala, Crow, etc., it seems laughably obvious and strained. But to those who just got here, this is their first time learning not just about Safiyah but also about Zavala. I think this is also why there have been multiple casual retcons of minor stuff - there isn't time to explain the history, and they've decided it's not worth confusing people.

Rasputin is old. He's been a significant part of Destiny since literally the pre-Alpha test. The complexity and history that are part of why we love the Warmind also make him hell to explain to new people. It takes a decent amount of lore to get invested in his character and since Beyond Light none of that lore is featured in-game. Pre-Season of the Seraph, anyone who began with Beyond Light literally never met him. They never visited Hellas Basin, which is one big environmental story about Rasputin, and The Will of Thousands strike, which demonstrates Red's power and contains many possible dialogues that emphasize him trusting you/acting as an ally, left the playlist ages ago. Since then a new player's only gameplay interaction with him has been Fallen SABER, in which Red yells incoherent Russian and tries to flatten you with a warsat. Is it a surprise relatively new players might not be up on his character arc?

Season of the Seraph, with its narrative of rebuilding Rasputin from the ground up, would be a perfect time to introduce new players to Red's long history, and they...kind of...did that. They worked in Felwinter although then for some reason felt the need to retcon in the whole "Clovis wanted to destroy the Traveler" plan. If you were a new player who didn't know anything about Destiny lore, and you just played Season of the Seraph, you'd get an entire canned arc for Rasputin that hits the early high notes: built to be a weapon, rebelled against his constraints, humanities nerd, big smite, loves Ana and Elsie, makes mistakes but genuinely cares and wants to help.

But that's where Seraph stops. In existing lore (I almost typed "in reality") Rasputin worked out the whole "not a weapon" thing well back during the Golden Age. For a lot of us Warmind fans the most interesting parts of his story happened after that - the entire Collapse, confrontation with Darkness, years of hiding, etc., not to mention all his character development during Warmind and Worthy. He's gone through a lot, and Seraph misses all of it (except Felwinter) in favor of rehashing the same arc for a third time. It's like when moviemakers keep rebooting a superhero origin story. It may be a good story, but eventually we'd like to move on to the other parts we enjoy: this sleeping giant, hard scifi AI, grouchy old bastard, lost lore of the Golden Age, champion of humanity, learning from defeat, learning to trust again, the morality and trauma of warfare - what it means to lose a war - a being never meant to become what he was transforming still further, still unfolding his own potential.

So understanding why they might have done this doesn't excuse what I still see as a terrible narrative choice. I think dropping Rasputin is a major waste of potential, and he's far from the only tricky character to explain. Osiris, or at least the Cult of Osiris, is similarly old. His story is complex and weird and requires knowledge from Curse and earlier, yet he's still playing a major role. Other current characters like Elsie, Saladin, and Crow also need a decent amount of knowledge about previous game events to get why they are the way they are. Saladin's origin story isn't even in this game. It's not Rasputin's fault the game went three years without so much as mentioning him outside of written lore. What was wrong with the great Xivu-Rasputin “war god” parallels most of the season worked to set up, about the intent of violence? Are we never going to explore those? Are we just throwing out all the dialogues planning a role for Red in the upcoming war? Why did we have a dramatic confrontation about trusting Rasputin to operate independently if he were going to be gone in a month anyway? Just in Seraph alone the number of interesting plot threads abruptly trashed by this death argues against it.

Rasputin's longevity is precisely part of why he should stick around. In the first mission of Destiny 1 you wake up in his shadow. He has a history with us. There's just no one quite like him in Destiny. He's not just a character but an entire faction. He explores a part of story space that no one else does. He resonates with us as people rather than players. I assume Neomuna will pick up the Golden Age banner, but it’s a thriving city; Rasputin represented the ruins, the dangers of a dead age, the shadow of apocalypse. He's also maybe the most Guardian-like character and one of the best to weave a parallel/cautionary tale - were we, too, only made to be weapons? But if Rasputin didn't stay a weapon, can we too transcend that intention? And of all the factions in our solar system, the two with the most personal scores to settle with the Witness are the eliksni and Rasputin, and Misraaks'/Eramis' story has focused much more on the Traveler's flight than the Fleet's attack. Of everyone in Destiny Rasputin has the most desperately personal motive for revenge on the monochrome bastard. Now he's not even going to be there to watch it crash and burn.

I understand that foregrounding story also comes with the requirement that it be accessible to those who don't do their lore homework. I appreciate the monumental amount of work that's gone into doing that and the experimental nature of it. But I think the balance has skewed too far towards accessibility. Stuff like the end of Season of Plunder that has zero narrative motivation or continuity and doesn't even get a pretend justification drives me absolutely batty. You can only break internal rules so many times before players stop buying whatever narrative stakes you're trying to set up. Making the story easier to follow doesn't mean characters have to be cartoonishly-exaggerated caricatures like Clovis was in Seraph - just absolutely cartoonishly evil - or reduced to one or two character motives explicitly laid out for the player (though, credit where credit is due, Clovis was hilarious.) It doesn't mean the dialogue has to be as subtle as a Thundercrash. It doesn't mean you get a blank check to retcon or invent whatever's needed to create the intended character arc. If anything that discourages looking further into lore - why bother to learn it when next season will change it all again? I think Y5 represents a lot of experimentation by the Destiny narrative team, and I really respect that. But I also hope they learn what didn’t work from it, and sacrificing Rasputin in an ultimately pointless and unnecessary finale is a major misstep.

#Destiny 2 #Season of the Seraph #Destiny spoilers #Season of the Seraph spoilers #and that’s what I think about that #anyone else feel like this finale was weirdly disjointed from the rest of the season?#like Sancus led into it but the previous missions didn’t lead into Sancus at all #why so much planning and speculation on Red’s future if he wasn’t going to have one?#frankly why bother with Xivu Arath?#I wonder if this was supposed to be the second or third season and got moved up #I don’t know why I wrote this no one cares what I think and it won’t change anything #but it makes me feel better #so hey that’s not nothing #and I can pretend it might matter #just let me pretend #this is the wager of existence #The Warmind Rasputin #Season of the Seraph finale #IDK my BFF AI-COM/RSPN

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sofastuffing · 3 months ago

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i have a headache

#i've been stuck scrolling instagram for the past few days #i don't even like being on there #modern ig is so overstimulating everything is either a reel or a reel in disguise or an image post that inexplicably has audio #i kept making myself go on there because i wanted to find a way to make art friends or a community or w/e #and i thought if i had more of a presence and interacted more i'd eventually get people to like. talk to me and comment stuff ig. idk #but ughhhh #i don't think insta is a good platform for that cause it's either pictures with a short caption or the worst media format known to man #like. idk i wanted to find and follow and be friends with and be Cool Artists (don't ask me to define that)#but no artist on instagram is a Cool Artist because there's no goddamn text on there #like if it makes sense i wanna find people who talk About art as well #but not in an art Discourse way #which is another thing. even if instagram had more Talking it would still be shit because the mainstream 'art community' is insufferable #art tiktok is that on steroids #and instagram is is bootleg tiktok #the same five discourse topics jokes memes advice whatever the only difference is now they're circlejerking about ai too #i wanna be Casual and Spontaenous and Mysterious and shit but IG's layout makes me feel like i can't just post whatever #i feel this pressure to give my posts all the same format and add tags and do this and do that and have good Branding or w/e #and it's just ughhh why can't I be a famous enigma (<- doesn't make or share anything)#even on tumblr the pressure is the same #and at the same time i hate looking back on my art accounts (both ig and here) because it just. doesn't align with what i wanna do #like my attempts at categorising and tagging and being consistent #it's just so. yuck #i want to have a Good Brand but i also want to be 'real' but then i look back at my disjointed messy past work and i cringe #i think i need to block my irls from my art accounts bc i feel super embarassed trying to do any typical Get Noticed on Social Media thing #cause it feels embarassing being seen doing shit that's ''influencer-y'' (idk what to call it)#cause it feels out of character to how i actually am in real life #but also why i do want to show my ''real'' character? I'm not cool #and that's another thing I've had these accounts for ages #looking at my past posts makes me fuckign cringe #I want to purge them or start over

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trashcatsnark · 4 months ago

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*Makes tea* Omg, can we please get your thoughts on the dlc and THAT ending?

ABSOLUTELY

Suffice to say, spoilers and a very long post, I am a verbose whore Ngl this is coming fresh off finishing it all last night, so my opinions may still be settling in a little bit and I also had to play it in more spread out sessions than I usually do with games.

Firstly, on a just a technical level, for me personally as someone who started playing at launch, finished all the endings, and had like 700+ hours in the game before Phantom Liberty was even announced- to me it felt a little out of place, granted might be because I jumped into on the tail end of an almost finished save. So, maybe for folks who started new runs it flows a bit better.

Like getting a dedicated credits listing as if the game is over after the decision at the orbital station just to cut back to Johnny going Wait, V, you're still dying!

It's a little strange, I understand you wanna give full credit to the Phantom Liberty specific team but also, was that really the only way to transition V out of the space station?

Songbird, I'm mixed on, I don't hate her but I don't love her like I think the game wanted me too. She feels a little... pushed on V for my liking. Like early on, it really felt like CDPR rattling a barbie doll at me and screaming at me to think she's the coolest thing in the universe and she's alright. I get why she does the things she does, I get that she is a narrative reflection of V, that her and Solomon honestly are meant to mirror the V and Johnny relationship.

The ideas of betrayal, the idea that the person who's trying to save you, and wants to save you the most is the very one who's gonna be your end.

I like that component for sure, like honestly, to the surprise of no one- the biggest things I got out of it was related to SilverV I also really do love Songbird's connection to the Blackwall and the way it's eating at her, I love those touches and when at the Orbital station you link with her to like- release Blackwall pulses. Very cool, still feel like there's more there to sink our teeth into, but very much liked the Blackwall in particular coming back.

My first impulse and choice was to side with Songbird, because even if I didn't love her like CDPR wanted me to, I did feel some connection to her through her being in similar situation to V and just being desperate to survive and live.

That said, it is disappointing that Songbird is... another person who was just lying to V in hopes of getting what she wanted. I get the desperation for survival, but it did feel like Hey, what if we did it again?

Like- that's what the game is, just over and over. I love it, but the game is V gets a lead, goes full steam ahead in trying to save themselves, and oop- someone was lying and V gets kicked right in the fucking teeth. Again. Again. Again. Again.

And I understood we weren't gonna get a magical fix it ending, but it is frustrating to be like- hey, wasn't it fun when the VDB betrayed V? Or when you found out Evelyn lied? Or when you finally found Hellman and all he gave was a hospice recommendation? Or when Hanako finally hears you out but only if you kill her brother and even then lol not really you're still gonna die? Or when Alt says oh btw you're still gonna die?

What if- we did it again?!

And in a similar vein, I really loved a lot of aspects of the Tower Ending (I believe it is?) where you side with the FIA.

The conversation with Johnny in the AV is fucking beautiful. That alone was worth all my money. Him saying that he feels more at peace than he ever has before, I still fuck- I love the way they play up that even in endings where Johnny doesn't necessarily agree with V's actions, he's just happy they're gonna survive. He's at peace with dying again, he's at peace knowing this time it means something to him. He died before his ideals, so convinced when he stormed Arasaka Tower that when he died in the flames it'd mean something, it'd fix something. Only to come back and find that despite everything having changed, nothing really did. He died and the world just moved on. But this time, him going means V gets to live, he gets to go out knowing (at least believing, hoping) that by doing so they'll get to live on, they'll get to fight another day, and can go away content knowing that he'll be leaving the world just little bit better of a place- because V will still be in it.

Got emotional there, my bad.

That said, beyond that component.... more of the same?

Like, it's the Devil Ending. Reskinned, revamped- but it's Devil Ending. V sided with the shadowy secretive shady corporation/agency, underwent extensive medical treatment, and oop- turns out none of your friends were worth a fuck, now deal with the consequences!

And like, I don't know, I do find the idea interesting of V no longer being able to have like combat implants and physically just not being the same, the idea of them being forced into trying to carve out a normal life after everything is actually pretty neat.

But it still feels like a reskin to me.

I also really just don't like the way CDPR tries to illustrate bad ends by making V's friends/love interests worse people? Like don't get me wrong, I can completely vibe with the idea that A) they'd have some grievances with V siding with FIA or Arasaka and B) that after two years of not knowing what happened to V, they would've moved on in some capacity.

But do they have to be like, mean?

Like Panam going full scale, don't answer the call, have Mitch tell you to fuck off. I was in a coma???? Like, I know she doesn't know that, but also maybe listen??? Like that feels like yeah, her character hasn't developed at all, she's still incredibly stubborn and won't even hear you out.

And River selling police secrets for Randy's rehab, so he's in a guilt spiral, so he just... can't meet up??? Like legit, CDPR, honey- what the fuck is your fascination with ruining this man's life? Literally, one of if not the only LI who can canonically die??? Or go to jail???? Like, what did River do to you????

Judy moving across the country and being married, I don't have inherent beef with, I think that does make sense for her character- that said, convo still feels weird, like the whole "please don't ruin this for me" like I'm sorry??? V literally nearly died for you several times and murdered for you several times and has been so nice to you- but you just assume they're gonna show up at your door and try to ruin your life? Wow, great to know what you think of me....

And of course Kerry is just busy with his career, that said I did find it kind of funny/in character that V calls and the first thing Kerry wants to do is talk about himself. Like, yeah, that's Kerry. But also, like again, the dialogue heavily implies that when he makes the bare minimum offer of hey... maybe we can hang out in four months, that no- you probably won't, it's bullshit.

Like, it just sucks because I really love all of these characters and feel like they do genuinely have love and affection for V, but this constant- oh nope they're all abandoning you, oof, pull on any ending that isn't Star or Sun is just.... frustrating and really undermines it and honestly reinforces that V's best friend and the one person who cares for them most is fucking Johnny.

Vik selling out to Zetatech also sucked ass, don't do that to my ripper- but hey, at least he made five fucking minutes for V. Even if he spent trying to convince them he's happy and eventually they will be too.

Misty I loved seeing again in the ending- though I don't know why, maybe it's just me- is her VA suddenly doing a harley quinn impression??? Like that kind of Boston(?) accent she suddenly has in the DLC for .... no fucking reason? That said, even if I'm sad to see her go, I am happy she's finding her peace, though kind of wish there was a "can I go with you?" option, because- V literally doesn't have a home anymore??? Maybe someone should help them.... not be homeless, that'd be cool. Maybe my V wants to go to the old forest in Poland too???

Also, also- Delamain, more of a true friend than any of the love interests in that ending. Picked V up, got them booze for them and Vik, helped them catch up on news, said they missed them, and were happy to see them again. Fuck yeah, Delamain.

But uhhh, overall, I think my opinions are there are some interesting and fun things within the DLC, some fun concepts that I definitely wanna play with in my fanfic. Some solid fucking SIlverV content. But like narratively and story wise- it's just alright. It's nothing ground breaking, I don't feel like the game needed it, I don't feel like it "fixed" the game. I think people who got into Cyberpunk 2077 through Phantom Liberty and praise it as what "saved" the game- just like Cyberpunk 2077. Like, cause the DLC is more of the same, like it's fun, it's a good time but it's the same narrative structure we've had times 3 within the main game. It's like if I eat a sandwich, and CDPR said "Hey, I know what will go well with that-" and handed me a third of the same exact kind of sandwich. I don't dislike it, I liked the sandwich, a lot- but also it doesn't complement or add to it like a side dish or a dessert might to a meal. It's a just a bit of the same- maybe it has a slightly new condiment on it, but its overall the same.

Like I said, this might change if/when I do a full replay of the game and can handle doing it as like a full run rather than kind of tacking it onto the end of another save. I think that might help with making it feel a bit more a part of the story.

But I think I'd still land in the same overall space of, it's was alright- some parts I loved more than others, and if this had been in the base game, I'd probably feel very different because Reed and Songbird probably wouldn't feel as sprung on V to me.

All that said, I also do feel a bit more confident and secure in how I'm gonna implement it into my fic- which is gonna mean heavy rewrites which should be fun. So, I definitely got a little something to sink my teeth into.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #phantom liberty #cyberpunk 2077 phantom liberty #cp2077 spoilers #johnny silverhand #honestly though i really left with the feeling of I probably wouldve loved this if it was just a part of the game at launch #but getting it this long after makes it all feel a bit more jarring narratively and more disjointed #not bad just like its like walking into your favorite restaurant thats had the same menu for 3 years #but suddenly they have a new burger thats like your favorite burger but has a slightly different cheese and they're really trying to sell i #does that make sense?#do I make sense?#like feeling like you're being resold the same thing but its pushed after so long of having the old thing that it feels weird and off kilte

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