#but im actually just anxious
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I find it so weird that people are still afraid of alternative people.
One time I had gone somewhere and I was dressed in all black with darker makeup and this mom got the most panicked look and pulled her children away. All I did was smile at her.
And the best part is is I had a Pale Waves shirt on which is an alternative pop band that makes a lot of love songs.
I do not understand people.
#alternative#emo#goth#pale waves#i dont understand people#alternative fashion#emo fashion#scene#i look scary#but im actually just anxious
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not my usual kind of comic but just... how I've been feeling recently
if you're feeling the same, maybe it will help to know you're not the only one
#overwhelmed#neurodivergent#actually autistic#sketch comic#vent comic#im fine im just so stressed you wouldn't even believe#i didn't feel like cleaning this up and making it nice since its just me venting lol#also im pretty anxious posting this so pls be nice thank u#thanks for listening
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Well, actually funny story!
(Proceeds to tell you the most wild, traumatizing, sad and tragic story you ever heard)
#actually anxious#actually autistic#actually mentally ill#im just a girl#this is me trying#anxitey#actual depression#artists on tumblr#anxi4ty#dark humor#tw depressing thoughts#relatable#random thoughts#childhood trauma#child abuse#tw depressing stuff#social anxiety#anxeity#autistic things#autistic adult#autistic humor#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd#shblur#sh cvt#beanblr#sh post#made of styro#stryoblr
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having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made
when in need, mash two interests together
#i love him so muhc ghghgh#and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm#if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine#im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down#tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row#theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh..#but yeah i promise im still here#and i want to draw him when i can#but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now#i hope u understand#sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh#my art#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#nordidia art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#id in alt text#also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but#i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank#and it stuck like that#so its really rough on my hands#sadly
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#bpd#female hysteria#femcel#femcelcore#bpd attachment#female manipulator#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl rotting#female rage#girlblogging#girlfailure#weebcore#self destructor#hikicore#localy hated#hikkigirl#hikikomori#mentally fucked#fear of abandonment#anxious attachment#attachment issues#silly girl club#girl blogger#hell is a teenage girl#loser girl#im just a girl#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#weird girl#manic pixie dream girl
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new pfp soon me thinks!!! sweats
#IDK IM ALWAYS SO ANXIOUS ABOUT CHANGING STUFF YKNOW#i tried to do it in a similar position to my current pfp... but it kinda feelsWeird to have my pfp be like. a drawing of Actual Me and not#my sona or smthn yknow#so i remade my pfp last night... i just hope its not too jarring of a change#sniffles pathetically#change scary#but hopefully change good in this case (i think the new pfp is REALLY cute :>)
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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“I miss my childhood„
My childhood:
𖤣 not mine
#childhood#neglected#lonely child#middle child#im just a girl#girlhood#female rage#daddy issues#mommy issues#parent issues#sibling issues#family issues#coquette#girlblogging#this is what makes us girls#female manipulator#female hysteria#mental illness#mental health#actually mentally ill#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#inner child#anxi4ty#attachment issues#avoidant attachment#anxious attachment#girl interrupted
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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ok so realistically i know theres important character reasons Kendra (and Seth and Warren by extension) never suspect Gavarog. It’s the old society trick to set up threats as team bonding exercises, etc, etc. plus this is a new and unfamiliar world thats rapidly overtaking her real world and replacing all her existing relationships, and right now Gavarog’s like the only member of her magical-worl peer group, so she doesnt want him to be a traitor, just like she didnt want Vanessa, her only female mentor to be a traitor, etc , etc.
but also i wholeheartedly 100% believe that every time Gavin did some truly bizarre, weird ass shit Kendra was just like. damnnnn…. average home school kid behavior.
#like fr tho#is it not just#damn why is this kid whose always telling me about his social anxiety somehow not even a little anxious when we’re actually doing shit#also why is he simultaneously the cockiest motherfucker alive#oh right he grew up on a preserve#damn did this fucking teenager just casually offer to carry a full grown man on his back while jumping at full speed over ledges???#damn i always knew homeschool kids are freaks#like maybe this is my mormon background showing#but everyone knows the stereotypical homeschool kid (tm) right??#fablehaven#why does this kid just casually seem to know what hes found more than every actual grown adult on this dragon preserve?#well shit it this is what he was doing instead of algebra#this poor kid#his father should be in jail#oh shit kendra you cant say that navarog ate his dad 😬#why didnt he laugh at my meme refrence?#damn his dad was probably just like grandpa#has he ever even seen a computer before?#…… tbh breaking kendras stream of thought here#but shit maybe im more sleep-deprived than i thought
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Actually: it frustrates me how with characters that have high intelligence or charisma, the player of said character is expected to also be able to be clever or charismatic or what-have-you in the moment. I wish I could elaborate my thoughts on this but alas, I cannot.
#eric finally speaks#ttrpg#dnd#vtm#as someone whos anxious and isnt very smart it frustrates me bc i want to play cool characters like that#i get other people want actual lines to roleplay with as opposed to dice rolling for it but. yknow#you dont see a strength based character's player doing stuff with weights and all for their stuff#whatever sorry im just having a bad day ig so im here with this
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need more one piece oc friends...
#shellyscribbles#one piece#one piece oc#heart pirates#all these riceballs to go around and no one to share them with#actually im just very shy and too anxious to initiate with others lol#but when people leave comments makes me!!! so happy!!!
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malenmalenmalenmalenmalenmalenmalenmalen
#princess tutu#malen#fanart#my art#these are all from p much the same big file as well as the innblings doodles#they've just been on my mind from time to time this is all scattered ideas coming to me sporadically since...im gonna say april.#correct me if im worng im too lazy to check#these were mostly me trying to figure out her wardrobe#cos tutu has that anachronistic feel#where nothings really pinned down#and like. yall saw how much personality ducks fun littel casual fit has#i watned kinda to figure out something similar for malen?#capture that sorta outside-of-time feel+see if i can make her personality shine through#.......whatever it is its not like we actually know#i think i make her a bit more somber than shy/anxious?#but idk i wanted to give her a hint of something More than what we saw in the anime#author is a useful hint here#like i know theyre not cannon siblings im playing with my dolls here ok leave me alone#like. seeign where she could be similar to him and where they might clash. its all so fun#also some extra info i found on the image that started this madness within me is making me rethink their situation/dynamic#so yeag#anyway#aco udri 'post'
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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