#but i'm more chill about it now
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Also I know I've talked about my grievances with Zenith Martlet before but
I've had my character arc... I've turned over a new leaf... I've come to accept her as she is....
#thought about it more now#and it's no longer too bad to me#not that it was insanely awful before#just that it seemed flawed and like a weird direction#but i'm more chill about it now#zenith martlet i forgive you#sock talk
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!
You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!
Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.
This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!
[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]
Sekido
You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him.
This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?
How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing?
The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.
They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like.
Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.
You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them.
Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?
On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself.
They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this.
And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!
The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones.
He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything.
The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.
At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead.
Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.
There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!!
But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!
Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time.
Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..
He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason.
Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.
Karaku
The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!
Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.
Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint!
Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!
Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know?
They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.
He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~
You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!
Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!
Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.
When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.
You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.
He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it.
That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~
And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you.
Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?
There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it.
The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.
Urogi
If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first.
You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!
The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun!
He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..
Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him.
Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.
There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now..
That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones.
Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way.
He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.
In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you?
As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.
Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!!
You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!
Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt!
When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!
As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping..
His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.
Aizetsu
The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice..
But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?
Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?
What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.
Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt.
When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down.
Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over.
This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.
Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.
You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.
He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away.
Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.
As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did.
He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.
When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.
Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.
There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.
Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.
Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!
Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.
#null rot#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#cloaked cult member#not art#null brainwash#null gospel#IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur#Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you#how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer#now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him#You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go#Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust#hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been making the transition these past few months, but I think I'm gonna just move back to Tumblr. My Twitter's follower-base has reached a point where I can't tweet anything casually opinion-related without it overflowing like a toilet. I post a short thread on my gripes with color design in anime and I'm getting QRT'd with "kill this guy with hammers" reaction gifs. Like, damn, this isn't fun anymore. It's not fun to talk about stuff on Twitter in general anymore. I wanted to post some ship dynamic doodles sometime there, but I know I'm gonna get weirdly aggressive takes and reactions. Monkey's paw curls, but I don't particularly like having that many followers.
#personal#delete later#like i'm generally good at not letting internet stuff get to me#it's dumb and inconsequential and i'm confident in who i am as a colorist#i faced some racist racist racist ass shit last month when some alt right weebs found an old post critting whitewashing#like i've gotten dms from people harrassing me about being taiwanese#but tumblr is so lowkey while twitter will blast qrts in your face going “this guy hates you for your basic ass anime opinion”#and i'm like hm. :/#idk thanks for being chill in general guys. except with the miyazaki post that was a toilet overflow#best thing about tumblr is how easy it is to ignore weirdos or weirdly aggressive people#i'm still gonna post art there but really just art. it's more destructive than constructive to use twitter as a discussion space now
465 notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
189 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finally back, with a lil more of Chill's Artist Admiration Sketchbook; making fanart for blogs I like :D
@kingspacebar
Accessoires and colours my beloved <3 <3 <3
#(The tags are gonna be a bit of an essay I apologize :P )#I only realized late that I was mixing the designs of different references that all had slightly diff accessoires#So I just decided to add them all#I always say I want to draw more bright colours because I love them so much and then I never do because I'm bad at colour palettes#I'm always super impressed with artists who can make them all work SO well together#With that out of the way OMG I LOVE THESE CHARACTER DESIGNS SO MUCH!!!!#Had to stop myself from going into the askbox multiple times to gush about them; because I wanted to wait until now#The colours are so good! AND THE CLOTHES!!! I wish I looked like that fr fr#I also just love the way the eyes and the faces look (you don't wanna know *how* often I changed the size/position of those eyes /lh)#Of course; rhythm games my beloved! Couldn't not include a little Osu! in the background#But srs going back to colours I had to compose myself multiple times while drawing this because I loved them so much#This character did smth to my brain /pos#(I forgot what Tumblr's tag limit is and I still have to add stuff so I'll stop here but aaaaaah)#no id#other's ocs#fursona#fanart#cw eyestrain#<- just in case; maybe I'm a bit over-careful with this tag lol#chill's art#chill's artist admiration sketchbook
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
2021 marc márquez you are so important to me!!!
#just found this on my ipad…. what do u mean 2021 was 3 years ago…#he was adapting to a post injury life and i was adapting to uni life and i kinned with him soooo much….. and ofc then he won races and i wa#girl ??? we were supposed to struggle together ??? but actually it gave me the motivation to do well soooo#i think 2021 was the year i accidentally worsened my parasocial attachment to him#before that i was like…. more chill about him lol...#like before that i looked at him and wow he's cool and then 2020/21 happened and like ok he's also just a person like me ok! kms#and then kinda taking everything against him personally bc it really blurred my perspectives and idk now i'm trying to be more chill again#ok sorry for the unnecessary dumps#n.upload#marc marquez
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay, when was someone going to tell me that
oh, idk, steven started at 19, burgh has a younger sister, clay actually isn't born american, skyla's whole fam thing and ELESA IS 15???? (even younger than skyla like wtf???)
(also the 'alder' at the bottom is supposed to be drayden lol)
and that's not all
say hello to:
viola being 18??? 'black whirlwind' korrina, RAMOS MEETING AZ'S FLOETTE AS A KID, genderfluid and apparently also age-fluid olympia, CLEMONT?? AND HIS WHOLE THING DOWN TO BEING 12 OF ALL AGES???
(you know what, marlon being 30 definitely makes sense with the hippie vibes)
wikstrom SAYING that he only wears that suit in pokemon battles but i've never seen his casual wear, malva being pr for flare lol, drasna selling dragon merch + great family lore if you want to know, siebold having to third-wheel lysandre and sycamore while eating (move aside malva, you're not the only elite 4 dealing with this) and 20?? YEARS OLD?? DIANTHA????????????
(way too many men in kalos are getting ladies, c'mon)
ethan being into history is such a neat detail hmmm, idk much of the frontier brains ngl, and we've finally got the region for looker and it's... hoenn??? you know what, makes sense with his chaotic vibes so i'll take it (throws away unova taped to a rock behind my back). also he's abolsutely cheating we all see that he's just relying on knowing us as protags, should've known smh
(um i think someone said that 'caitlin' should've been anabel but idk)
oh and the last one is charon, if we care about how much of a loser he really is. forget about birch and the poochyena, this guy is the lowest heh. imagine being charon (please don't).
(when the protags of johto are the same age as clemont lol) (yeah i know there are years between those events just let me have this)
and last but not least:
aaron 🤝 valerie: wanting to be pokemon (and ig gotta toss in shauntal with the ao3 writer gift heh, don't know if they would commission her or stay away), bertha's description???? i love flint just saying, cynthia 👀👀 is absolutely doing something illegal 👀👀, roark is WHAT??? (child labour laws in sinnoh must be lax ngl), maylene as well???? fantina watching scary movies is something i'll have to incorporate into my worldview and bryon?? are you okay??
so yeah. credit goes to @/KuroBlitz96 on the twitter/x for having this up, i'm just here to project sheer surprise at this massive dump of ages... my thoughts on pokemon have completely turned on its head once more lol (this is fine)
#sinnoh is the most surprising out of the regions avaliable#but c'mon 12 year old clemont?? he is legit baby#steven is really just chilling around for at least 4 years until the protag got him huh??#when i was first watching bw i thought that cilan was middle child until that 3rd last ep?? with the fight for the gym#and having the bros come to him cemented the idea that he was the oldest#so hearing that is good to know#even though i have to make peace that they never left the city lol#WHY IS ELESA/ROARK/MAYLENE/DIANTHA SO DANG YOUNG???#i can maybe let go of viola. in time. maybe.#i also love some of that lore/history dump here as well#lenora's dad bringing back fossils and lyra being torn between countryside/city#viola being a big sister figure and getting that camera from her father#crasher wake being a fake fan but also heavily embodying that barry spirit in his own way#the ramifications of the mother dying after bonnie was born and wow that gag in the anime is suddenly a lot more sadder huh#on the brighter side the prism tower used to be a part of a travelling amusement park lol#flint's hype!!! maylene being confused over her own strength!!! (thoughts about paul's insults hit a lot harder after this hmm)#wulfric being an explorer!! and i'm still not over ramos and az's floette oh god#unfollow me right now. this is all i can talk about for the next few weeks. my brain is way too small for this knowledge help#is it canon now?? idk. but the fact that this was here is killing me#pokemon teraleak#save#deep stuff
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
#laws of attraction#laws of attraction the series#film thanapat#jam rachata#jamfilm#tinncharn#lawsofattractionedit#thai bl#thai drama#bl drama#bl series#my edits.#no subs we gif like europeans#(this is a tag now)#there is actually something quite chill#about choosing what to gif just by image alone#i mean i understand some of the dialogue reasonably well#(this ep was more difficult for me to understand than the last 2 eps)#but still#i'm enjoying this actually#it's kind of mindful
258 notes
·
View notes
Text
so it seems the poppy war has become my absolute favorite series so ofc i'm losing my mind comparing every scene with my other favorite series (red queen) and making an unfathomable amount of headcanons
#first off i think rin and mare would get along. maybe not at first but after a while they would#i think venka and evangeline would become the best of friends like the second they lay eyes on each other#AND evangeline would probably help venka realize that she's an absolute lesbian#i also think rin would get along with farley And with cameron especially#i think the cike (and kitay) would IMMEDIATELY adopt shade and kilorn and they'd have the silliest of dynamics. while being a menace#i think the cike wouldn't like cal at first but then they'd be chill about him#AND nezha and cal would also get along. btw. if you even care.#just thinking about rinezha and marecal interactions makes me dryheave i'm literally climbing the walls of my room right now#also qara and iris would get along AND hot take but i think she'd also get along with chaghan cause she'd be the only person he respects#imo#i also think jiang and mare would get along. tho he'd probably get on her nerves more often than not#i don't think altan and maven would get along with anyone lmao they're such freaks🙌#i like to imagine that altan would have INSANE one-sided beef with cal AND mare that'd be histeric#like they really dgaf about him it'd be so one-sided it'd be embarrassing for altan#maybe. MAYBE. cameron could manage him (cause they're both commited to being Haters yknow). but only for like 5 secs at most .#i also like to imagine chaghan and maven would have the biggest beef known to mankind i think they'd find each other insufferable❤️❤️#and evangeline and chaghan???? ohh chaghan's gonna find out how MEAN a mean lesbian can be alright. mlm/wlw hostility🤞🤞✨️#and what if rin and cal get somewhat along bc she understands the responsability the older sibling has over the younger one.#what if she completely understands his guilt WAAAAIT#ohh the more i think about them the more insane i get#this is just a snippet of the headcanons i have in mind rn#maybe i should make a more ''organized'' post about it#and not hide it in the tags😔#also the joy and whimsy one gets from making your faves hate each other's guts... it's so entertaining... peace and love on planet earth❤️#the poppy war#red queen series#red queen#also don't mind any grammatical mistakes i didn't check anything before typing this. and i don't have respect for the english language <3
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate this paragraph so much btw (marius, on seeing Armand in qotd). like literally how dare you put all this on the abused nearly dead child that you bought. first of all you suck SO bad second of all this is literally pathetic. third of all i can't believe he can think all this with a straight face when he also chose to abandon that kid because the kid got tortured into a cult. like oh you counted totally upon his love in Venice? cool well exactly how much was he able to count on you in return, bud
#I think I will actually never forgive anne for never mentioning for more than a sentence or two how armand felt about any of this#and especially for having this particular scene be entirely marius pov and never coming back to it with armand#which is why I want to eat platoapproved's fic like candy#armands reactions in the book are SO chilling but also given absolutely zero context#anyway. AAAHHHH. sorry. I'm normal now
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...
Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.
I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.
I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.
Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D
I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬
Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D
#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up#I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness#away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭#PLEASE#...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like...#I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring#whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af#save me morally gray circe#<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though.#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#anti madeline miller#anti circe#<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS#Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:(#...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤#I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me.#Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place.#She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her.#I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:(#tw sa#kind of??? idk#barely mentioned but yeah#Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso
64 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey how’d your date go? What’d you end up wearing?
-🧎
aww thank you for asking!!
Here's the look <3
MEN DNI
#At the advice of my friend who told me to wear quote a slutty top and fun pants which is silly bc I'm more a big sweater tiny skirt girl#This was pre hair and makeup dw#The date was nice v chill she bought me a couple drinks and I stayed the night at hers a little makeout cuddle times#We did have a cute makeout ses in the bar when we deciding to get more drinks and she did the Knee Thing and I was like oop time to go now!#asks#love letters only#💌 asks#That was sweet of you to ask!! How are you doing sweetheart??#🧎anon#omg forgot to tell u guys I got her number irl on public transportation like one stop before she got off it was v meet cute!#So I knew nothing about her v cute and fun I'm not an Apps girl#But the train was so full she offered to let me sit next to her which I declined but I was smiling at her and she made small talk!#And we had to reschedule a bunch so I thought she would give up but she was really trying!
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
💕 kuroba first date outfit
OC OUTFIT DOODLE ASKS!
the place kuroba and karamatsu go on their first date to is a pretty expansive garden and requires a lot of walking so the outfit they go with is on more casual comfy side. they definitely put how comfortable it is to move in to the test after having to outrun the rest of the sextuplets trying to sabotage kara's confession plans.
( also, i envision him wearing the outfit from the 2nd anime paradise cafe collab on that date. )
#i'm just now realizing that this outfit has a lot of the same elements as the chill matsu fit i gave them...#whatever ig kuroba is a king who isn't afraid to restyle pieces they've worn before#if i wasn't so tired i'd talk more about the specifics of their first date but alas. my brain ain't wording good rn#i do want to mention that the major reason why the rest of the sextuplets try sabotaging kara's confession plans is actually bc ->#oso's pissed at kuro bc of the whole '' hypocritically getting mad at kara forgetting them '' thing and is being overly protective of kara#he definitely doesn't frame his sudden disapproval in that way to the others tho. he just acts like he's pissed that kara's ->#gonna be the first one to start dating someone and riles everyone else up with that line of thinking#stares at the ask i got from laur about kuro's dynamic with the brothers....#tbh i was gonna use that as an excuse to talk about their dynamic w/ oso bc it ended up being a lot more complex than i initially planned#okay i'm about to fall asleep at my desk i need to sleep 😭#osmt#osomatsu-san oc#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws#asks
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
Miles is literally so delusional for thinking he can single handedly change the entire country from his far off nowhere posting when every single ishvalan in the army has been killed. When he himself barely escaped death and i'm pretty sure he will be killed if the gov is suspicious of any actions on his part I don't even know where to start with his mind. And somehow I don't think Olivier or any of her soldiers will even bat an eye if that happens. Afterall, they have let their ishvalan colleagues be "purged" before, what makes him any special? They believe in "survival of the fittest" after all🙄 if the ishvalans died, they were probably not "fit" to begin with. So much for their fanatic loyalty to Olivier. So much for the comradeship and team spirit that exists between the briggs team BH keeps telling me about. Yeah fuckers lets ask your ishvalan comrade's ghosts what they think about that. Because from what it sounds like, Olivier either tried to save all of them and miles was the only one she could from who knows how many, or she found only miles to be "fit" to try and save and she shrugged her shoulders and went on with her career. Either way, she's a very, very fucked up woman. Not to mention how literally every other military character in the series, including ed & al knew about the "purge" that happened in the military ranks before the genocide? during? after? I don't think we know the exact timeline of it, and I'm still somehow supposed to believe they want the best for ishvalans😬. Sorry for the rant lol. I'm sure you already have a lot of asks to get to. But I have been watching BH again and well, it's been infuriating me in a way It didn't when I watched it as a teenager. No need to hurry in answering👍
Genuinely, how do you write a character that's meant to singlehandedly counteract any argument about destroying the military or taking genociders to task for their atrocities, and bungle the execution this badly?
(Mind you, even if it had been done well I would fully disagree with any notion that militaries are anything beyond the violent arm of the state to maintain borders and power, as well as pilfer land, resources, and people (or wholesale demolish those people and their lands) for the state's benefit. Digressions are my hobby.)
It's almost masterful tbh. Arakawa really needed a token brown guy to puppet on about why being a paid boot in the very institution that eradicates people is a necessary 'good' in order to make a pro-military reformist argument. And she did this while having already established that Ishval was thoroughly genocided while he and some other Ishvalans were already serving the State (so that's a flop). AND that those Ishvalan personnel were not only systematically removed from the military ranks, but imprisoned and even executed (so that's a mega flop).
I'm left stumped. This feels like the perfect set-up for the narrative to slowly unravel what would have been pro-militarism into an indictment of these institutions to begin with (even if done subtly), but no. It's all in service of boldly supporting the military and government under "correct leadership". Which itself contradicts Miles' stated goal in remaining in the anti-Ishvalan fascist Amestrian military, because actually what needed to be done was to overthrow the government itself. Need it be said that even this alone does not lift racial supremacy from a culture, but it does generally accomplish far more material change in that direction than keeping your head down in a border fortress, hiding your Ishvalan eyes behind goggles even amongst your oh-so accepting squadron.
Of course even the coup was all for the purpose of, once again, reforming and maintaining a military government under slightly new leadership, rather than abolition. So that's a giga flop. That's no surprise though, since by the time you're at the Briggs arc you know this series has no teeth whatsoever.
Olivier makes this all a much more baffling headspin. She keeps Miles on board because she sees him as an asset to... Improve their military might and stratagem. Which is...? Just. Such a bizarre angle on why embracing human variance "allows us all to become better thanks to the diversity of experiences" and the the innate value of your fellow people. Take that truth and contort it into a militaristic asset, in order to better protect borders against the wrong types of people, expand borders in order to broaden your hegemony over others, and slaughter those who will not obey (which will naturally incur racist and xenophobic propaganda because bigotry is a fantastic tool for manufactured consent and voluntary conscription).
Big progressive Olivier over here having the same social darwinist fascist beliefs as fucking Kimblee, who as you surmised must have seen the fall of Ishval and the arrests of even her fellow militarymen for being Ishvalan as "survival of the fittest". Except for Miles, because she probably realized she wasn't going to have her token if she passively allowed ALL Ishvalan boots to get the axe.
I'm personally not even convinced by the notion that she might have tried to save more people but could only succeed in saving Miles. Given her place as nobility in a generational noble military family, and all the stops she pulls for her guys, and her fascist beliefs (especially basically disavowing Armstrong as her brother because he disobeyed orders so as to stop murdering Ishvalans), it feels like she would let most of it happen even in cases where she could have extended her reach.
At least based on Brotherhood alone we don't know the timeline for those arrests, but it wouldn't be hard to guess that it had to have roughly coincided with the genocide. If a state is going to flush out the unwanted Other that thoroughly while ethnically cleansing that Other's homeland, they're not going to wait to rid their ranks of them until after the war has subsided. Unsure if the manga clarifies, but I suppose I'll find out soon enough.
It's batshit in the worst way possible. Love the fascist who operates violence on behalf of those who will eventually turn on him. What a compelling character for us to uncritically view as righteous and correct! Scar badman because he kill (for free, not paid for by the State, and also killing State guys).
Broho has to be the kind of show that's bleak to revisit when you used to enjoy it, upon returning with a more solidified political and critical eye.
Thanks for the rant! I live for these asks and the sense of vindication I get that others see the fucked nonsense being peddled under its bombastic shonen package.
#and many thanks for giving me the leeway to get to this ask when i was able#i know no one's been pushy and everyone's been chill but i still feel a bit bad for not being able to#answer things sooner#I'm curious if you finished your rewatch and how you're feeling about it if you did#ask#vent#meta#fmab#long post#should i put my reply in behind a read more? at first i didn't think it was as long as my other ones#but now i have my doubts
15 notes
·
View notes