#but i’m moving in a couple months
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#personal#this guy who works for a competitor airline noticed me in the terminal the other day#and asked for my number#and he’s so cute#but i’m moving in a couple months#so like#why now#neither of us really want to get attached but like#IDK no one wants anything to do with me until i’m leaving#i kinda just wanna get too high to function about it
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I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻
#911 spoilers#bucktommy#Evan buckley#Tommy kinard#look#as a queer person in a relationship with another queer person#both of whom have major familial trauma#trust me when I say you generally DONT WANT ever reference to your feelings and trauma to turn into a huge deep discussion#sometimes you just say something vulnerable#and the other person does too#and then you joke about it and move on#humour is powerful coping mechanism as well#one that is pretty common especially among guys#people need to freaking relax ffs#Tommy is not a horrible person for making a flirty joke#things were said and feelings were acknowledged#and then they moved on#this is all perfectly freaking natural#Buck is not some sensitive flower that can’t handle a silly joke about daddy issues#please I beg you all to look at this at a distance with some common sense#rather than the ‘but Buck is traumatized and must always be treated delicately!!’ lens#and I am saying all of this as someone who really doesn’t give two fucks about the joke itself#I’m not into daddy kink idgaf#but if the idea that a queer couple isn’t allowed to insert a flirty joke to lighten a moment of vulnerability#then I don’t know what to tell you#you personally finding something innapropriate does not mean it’s actually innapropriate#please just chill out ffs#no one wants to hear about how evil Tommy is for hitting on his boyfriend for months and months to come
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✨ Had a long ass day at work, came home and took a Truly walk with the pup. Tired and ready for the weekend to be here ✨
#mine#me#the truly is helping though#I’ve had such an insane couple of weeks#staying late and working overtime#and now going to be moving classrooms at the end of the month#so more prep and things to get together in the next three weeks#but I. am. brain dead.#ootd#it’s all good stuff happening#but it’s also a lot of work and I’m exhausted 😅😅
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AHHHHHH okay so i may or may not have just spontaneously bought tickets to see miles in london in february and i am SO EXCITED 🤩🤩
#i probably shouldn’t have bc i’m seeing him once already#and my bank balance is crying#but you know what#it’s been a really tough couple months and this is my ‘well done for getting through this 💗’ present to myself#and i absolutely cannot wait#it’s also going to be my first time actually visiting london which i’m so excited for#AND i get to see my best friend who’s just moved there#so many things to be happy (and a little nervous!) about#anyway now i need to try and calm down so i can go out and meet my friend without seeming like i’m actually high#I’M GOING TO SEE MILES AHHHHHHH#miles kane#omb era#lulu posts
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exhausted of existing ✌️
#after college I moved back home#mistake but like. no clue what I’m doing with my life.#I got two part time jobs so I was working basically full time#however I was basically let go of the one job a couple of weeks ago#I am starting an internship in January where I will be moving far far away#I thought it was reasonable to expect to just work part-time for a couple of months until I leave for the internship#Wrong. apparently my mother has been furious at me for months because I haven’t had an in-person full-time job#last night we had an hours-long argument that basically boiled down to “you will pay rent to live in my house and be my maid…#or you are kicked out.#thanks mom!! and she has the gall to say that I’m selfish and don’t love her enough.#she’s a narcissistic and conspiracy-theory-believing terf so#anyway. so now I’m stuck doing like quite literally all of the chores around the house AND paying her like at least $500 of rent to her#monthly AND she wants me to get another job for a couple months somehow too.#Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so tired of existing in this way.#I never talk about my personal life on here but. I’m just so pissed off at her.
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At first i thought: you are extremely intense and you stress your self out easily and that you need to chill with remaking constantly.
but after a while i understood you actually you are totally valid and like its non of my business if you remake or not i like you and your content and reblogs enough to hop around behind you from blog to blog! I do hope that you are not stressing yourself out too much though!
skshdkhdkdkd i think it’s quite funny how different people can view this. i’m used to communities where people remake their twitter because they joined a new fandom and wanna start fresh in it, so they could remake multiple times a month. i’ve remade twice in a year and to some people that’s a lot! so so interesting how different people view this …
#fray.txt#ask#anonymous#im glad you think i’m valid now hehe#i don’t wanna be perceived !!#so i don’t like when i gain too many active followers#that’s all#like my first move#was because i went from a tiny 100 follower blog#then changed my url to bg3 and somehow my blog blew up to 2000 in a couple months#and i was receiving death threats for my bg3 opinions and it was just. A LOT. like people would#send me anons trying to get me to comment on drama in the fandom and get involved and i hated it !!#i had no idea what to do with that popularity#so now i just. leave blogs that get too much attention. it makes me anxious#i am simply not cut out for it! i’m used to locked twitter accounts with like 30 followers lol#this is also why i turn my askbox off now because i’m just. i’m scared ? yeah i’m scared
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I’ve been having sinus pain on the right side of my face for days now and I am ANGRY
#it’s just so irritating#because for a couple hours it’ll be fine#but then it’ll start up again#probably when stuff is moving around#or when I move my head#and I’m just AHHHHHH#it’s probably a sinus infection#but I don’t have the money#for meds#and I doubt the doctors would even get me in quick#it’s literally six months booked up#I’m so annoyed
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all the stressful tasks are done. phew! may was such a month, never wanna live through that again thanks
#bee.txt#doing an interview a presentation starting a new old job and finishing ur data entry all within a couple weeks is difficult.#being a person is so scary🥸#oh also forgot to mention literally fucking moving at the beginning of the month before all this happening and having to go to appts#and BAD appts too like jeez.#and starting back on a medication u had let go of bc ur ed was too bad for it in the past#anyways. i’m so glad things are gonna be so normal now
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can people just have kindness and understanding for others for two seconds please
#this girl…… i do not call women bitches in a negative way BUT if i were going to#…… she’s just a bully#which is so stupid because we’re in our twenties we’re moving out and after today well never have to see each other again#but everything i ever do is immediately wrong in her eyes and#she never sees ANYTHING she does as in the wrong or inconsiderate#i literally had one of the worst panic attacks of my life bc of her and i started to hate my life so much while living with her#that i literally moved back in with my parents for the last two months of the lease#continued paying rent but moved out my stuff and left her alone#now i’m back to do some final cleaning bc we have to be officially out tomorrow#and it’s just been an awful experience#i just went back to my car and i’m sitting here until my uncle shows uncle he’s bring his truck for a couple things
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Definitely being that person but I don’t have fun with these fricking boss challenges in the story of Nu Carnival specifically. Like I’m not having fun lmao this Rei boss makes me pissy
#nu carnival#like yea have them but not in the fuckin story wtf are you DOING#I don’t want a skill check in a bl game babes relax#that and you need to be maxed out for Rei so I’ll have to get around to it in a couple months#idk why but I want every character I have to be level 51 then I’ll move on to 60#that and the tapir boss got annoying cus you have a pass it to unlock the next zone#those are easier but I’ll just look it up when I comes to story cus I’m here for a specific thing and I it ain’t that#okay frustration is dissipating but yeah stop that
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my lil stall from a couple weeks ago! it wasn’t my first time vending but it was the first time i had any real success 🤙 probably because it was an event run by queers with many queer attendees :)
#this is the reason so many of my patches are sold before i posted about them#i will be making more soon#i also have a big commission to do tho and i’m moving in a couple months#personal
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idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..
#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today….#and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop#but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him#and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him#and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself#and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week#it’s been like 5 times since december#but 3 have been on the past month alone#and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident#and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved#and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening#and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again#by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive#and like. idk what to do#i really don’t want to be w someone like this#and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this#but i also can’t abandon him#like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone#but like i don’t want to live like this#maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out#but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg#i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either#and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk#i just don’t know what to do#i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:(#and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week…..#but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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i’m so grumpy recently ugh
#sigh. turning 28 isn’t getting off to a good start#accidentally clipped the bumper of a parked car while driving my in-laws’ good car#now we’re down to one working car out of four cars on our property#and bee’s mom is at the hospital for recurring chronic potassium (pretty typical for her)#which ranges anywhere from overnight to a week or two#sooooo i had to spend $60 on ub*r today#which means i’ll have to spend $150 on rides to work bc of my own fuck up#and the father-in-law’s selfishness (he didn’t drive his wife to infusion#knowing i needed a ride to work a couple hours later and to be picked up later that afternoon)#so i’m grumpy but i can’t do anything about it#my stupid car insurance is going to go up in november and i’m SO not pleased#i’m so mad at myself for such a stupid accident#i get that it’s an accident but ofc it had to happen the day after my birthday (happened on the 10th)#i’m grumpy and way too fucking broke for this#i just moved to a new place last month#not to mention i had a chronic illness flare on friday so not only did i miss work last monday bc of my stupid accident on the previous sat#but i had to miss work on friday (i only work M/W/F)#SOOOOOOO#IM HAVING A FUN TIME GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#:c#h.txt
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i had a very good day today. i participated in two library programs, (my old spanish class in chicago, which i video-called into, and then a wood carvers meet-up here in town), and this evening i went to see a honky tonk band with some friends and did a lot of dancing. i’m living in what is technically a brand new city for me, and i’ve never been great at making friends, so i thought that meant i’d just have to accept being lonely for a while. but now i’m close enough to my hometown that i’ve got a lot of friends of friends here, and they’ve all been super welcoming and friendly :’)
#also in the month and a half since i’ve been here#a couple of my friends from home have already come down to visit me +#i’ve gone back up to see them +#my dad’s come down just to get dinner with me twice#i was so set on moving back home after grad school and i’m not quite there but#close enough :)#i’m really liking it here and i’m just so happy to be back in texas#personal
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my mom offered me to yoink my cat from her house which i havent considered an option before due to my apartment being kind of small, which she reassured me was Probably Fine using facts i cannot argue with (mainly him being a lazy fuck), and also I don’t live that far off all things considered + my sister is visiting me like 2 weeks after i’d move him up so there’s like. Solutions if it doesnt work out. And tbh the amount of thought and effort im putting into it already makes me feel like im gonna be a better cat parent than my mom
#my cat as in like. hes been living with just my mom#since i moved out in 2021#and she owns him on paper#but he Picked Me as a baby kitten#z talks#i’m spending my entire budget for Miscellaneous Things next month on him 😭#it’s like ok. bills. groceries. bus card. Cat#all the things i need#(and a hair trimmer to upkeep my buzzcut lmao)#to be fair better cat parent than my mom is a LOW LOW LOW BAR#hes grown increasingly understimulated in my moms house which my mom for some reason thinks is like#Completely unrelated to her getting rid of all the cat trees one by one lol#also due to Various Ailments i’m never away from home more than a couple hours a day. this boy is going to get soooo much love and attention#augh. and ive been really longing for a cat lately too. i could use the company#came up when i visited my mom yesterday for the first time since christnas and the first thing i did was go find him to pet him#and he just curled up in my lap for a solid While to be pet and scratched and have some tangles in his fur worked out#he means sososo much to me :’)#i will take the best care of him i Possibly Ever could#literally the only thing that matters now lmaooo
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