#you personally finding something innapropriate does not mean it’s actually innapropriate | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nocherryblood · 4 years ago

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PLEASE REBLOG FOR AWARENESS- S*X BOTS:

So, only recently, in the past week I've been getting a lot (and a lot, for my blogs, is six) of random followers, and it was making me a little suspicious, so in the end I just decided to check everything out and see what was going on.

I mean, did a post of mine do really well or something? Did someone tag me a bunch of times? Did someone reblog something?

NO.

I checked who had followed me recently, and, low and behold, it was: bots! How great.

But what was even worse, was that these were s*x bots (I'm censoring some words to keep my blog somewhat safe). S*x bots.

So since I've seen a lot of these over the past few weeks, I've decided to put together a little of what I've found. It's nothing new- and it's pretty much common knowledge- but hopefully it might help a few people out (especially since I'm one of many people who try to keep their blog safe from harmful, or 18+ content) and maybe even help keep some people a little safer here on Tumblr

So, here we go:

PROFILE PICTURES AND USERNAMES:

First of all, check the pfps and usernames. Sometimes they'll be something like "d3rtyg1rl", but not always. Other times it'll be something like "sangdori" or "jpi011" (those are two real accounts that followed me, I've just changed one or two of the letters in them)- so something that sounds like a regular Tumblr account to tebe average user. So if the username checks out as 'normal', the next thing to look at, is the profile picture.

These, similar to the usernames, and all the other things I'm going to mention, may seem normal at first. Some of them may be fluffy kittens (a lot of them are "generic"), others may be a seemingly innocent selfie, a few of them are just blank Tumblr and some are just... straight-up 18+ photos. So be aware that not all of them are going to be easy to spot right away.

LIKES, FOLLOWS AND UPLOADS:

Right, so now we've come to the part where you've checked out the usernames and profile pics, and they both show no signs of anything sinister. Good- now, if you're still suspicious, it's time to check the actual account itself.

The first thing you might want to take a look at, is the content they've uploaded, or in some cases haven't uploaded, onto their blog. This is where things can get deceiving. Many of these accounts have just one "generic" post- such as slime, kittens, glitter, etc (usually these are eye-catching things, which means it can draw people, especially children, in)- immediately followed by some sort of sexual content underneath that, usually in the form of a nude photo or p*rn (some are obscured, though most aren't), which catches you off-guard, to say the least.

Now, as I said before, not all of these bot accounts are the same. Some don't have any uploaded content at all- this is where checking their Likes page comes in.

(And I'm aware that this may sound like we're stalking someone's account at this point, but trust me, we're not. We're just trying to keep ourselves safe- and these are not people, remember, they're bots. Bots don't care, bots don't have feelings. Bots don't care if we block them). So, back to the point, the next thing we check is the Likes pages.

Now, some of these pages will be purely 18+ content, as you would expect. Just straight-up p*rn links, or nude photos. But others, however, seem innocent at first... that is, until you scroll down the page. Usually, it's just liked photos of (again, the generic, and eye-catching stuff) some cute animals, a GIF of slime, or a popular meme, but if you scroll down a little further underneath that, you'll see that same innapropriate content all over again.

Though again, as with all the other things I've mentioned, some of these liked pages seem fine upon inspection, which is where we move onto the final thing to check if what you're seeing is a bot account: the following page.

To be quite simple... this is where you'll need to look at a bunch of accounts all over again... hooray! If you find that some of the accounts seem suspicious from just looking at the pfps and usernames, then great, that usually means you know that the account you were originally looking at is a bot account, and you can block them and be done with it (and even if you're not entirely sure, blocking them will keep you safe, and besides, it doesn't hurt anyone- believe me, your safety takes 100% priority over having that one extra follower).

But, if you can't tell just by looking at them, and you're still suspicious, and you don't want to just block the original account you were looking at... then this would be the time do all of the above again (checking likes, following pages, and content) just to make sure.

If you don't find anything else suspicious, then congratulations, it's probably not a bot account, and you don't have to worry about it. But again, if you ARE worried, then PLEASE do just block and/or report, the account. It's better to have one less follower, than be unsafe, or have to feel uncomfortable.

SO, I THINK IT'S A BOT ACCOUNT, NOW WHAT?

Now, if you've been through all of the above, and/or you're pretty sure that what you've seen is a bot account, then it's time to either block it, or report it.

To block an account, simply tap on the little 'human/person' icon in the top right of that specific account, and tap 'block' (note: this will only report them from one of your blogs. If you want to block them from another, or all of your blogs, you'll have to add them to the block list for taht specific blog). To report someone instead, just tap 'report'.

So, you might be wondering: what's the difference between reporting someone and blocking them?

Well, I'll tell you as best as I can. Blocking someone means:

They won’t be able to follow your blog, or send you fan mails or asks to your blog, and they won't be able to see your blog’s posts in their Dashboard. In addition to that, neither will they be able to like, reblog, or reply to your posts, and your blog won’t show up in their search results. It's a really good option.

They'll still be able to read your posts if they somehow come across them, but they can't interact/reblog them- at all. The only way people would even know you've blocked them is if they find that they get denied permission to interact with your blog- but remember, the chances of the finding out that youve blocked them is VERY slim, if it even happens at all (though remember we're talking about bots here though, not actual people, I just thought it would be useful information to include anyway).

Alright, so now onto reporting someone. Reporting someone means that:

The account will receive an email stating that they've posted banned content and must take it down. Tumblr will then still automatically take it down, and the account either gets suspended or deleted.

I would say that reporting the s*x bots would be the best thing you can do in this situation (you can still block them afterwards), seeing as the account will hopefully then be taken down (instead of just blocked on your blog) after being reviewed, which could help keep Tumblr at least a little safer once it does.

And just in case you were wondering: no-one will know if you've reported their account. The only way they'll know they've been reported (and they won't know who reported them) is if their content gets taken down or if their account is deleted- so don't worry about people accusing you of reporting them, as Tumblr keeps it anonymous anyway.

(Again, I've only added that part as useful information, seeing as s*x bots aren't real people and therefore won't care if they've been blocked or reported.)

There's more information about reporting and blocking people, along with Tumblr's policies and guidelines here, if you need it:

https://iheartmob.org/resources/safety_guides/tumblr_guide

Right... so I think that just about covers everything I wanted to say. If there's anything I've gotten wrong, or you think you could add on to, just drop a note or reblog this to help. After all, I don't know everything about these s*x bots, and just writing from my experience and what I've noticed about them. So help and/or additional information would be greatly appreciated.

I'm just fed up of seeing them everywhere and them making me think I've got a new follower who's actually interested in the blogs I make, when it's actually just a not trying to take me to some random p*rn website. It's wrong. So I just decided to write about my frustrations.

Now, Tumblr, if you could please sort your shit out, that'd be great, thank you very much, and we can all get on with our day.

If you've read this far, thank you very much for your time, and I hope I've managed to help you at least somewhat when it comes to dealing with these types of things in the future, or maybe just given you a little more awareness about how to stay safe on Tumblr, and other similar sites.

Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful day, and that you stay safe. Happy new year, too! 💛💙

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hoseokhearts-blog · 8 years ago

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Bad for Me (Min Yoongi x Reader) Part Four

4] restless- infatuation

A/N: You'll understand this picture later on in the chapter. I thought you guys might want a visual of the description!

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You and Yoongi began to fall into a rhyme and rhythm.

It'd been about 6 weeks since he first start working at Youth & Impulse, and the two of you had a rather consistent routine that was followed every single Tuesday and Thursday at work. Yoongi would always arrive at 5:30, a half hour before he actually needed to be there. You would make him a latte as you'd been doing before, but you began trying out different designs on the top. He would rate your new designs from one to ten, and help you decide on which ones were good enough to sell to actual customers.

Then, Yoongi would play piano for the next 2 and half hours after that, and you would watch him from behind the counter. Stevens had gotten onto you several times for not paying enough of attention to the guests, but no matter how many warnings you got about it, you found it nearly impossible to keep your eyes off of Yoongi. His charm and classy look about him as he played the piano drew you in, and you literally never wanted to stop looking at him. Even as Stevens was snapping his fingers in front of your face, or as your eyes began burning and drooping from drowsiness, you didn't want to pull your eyes away.

Your infatuation with him only grew every time you saw him and every time you learned something new about him. He could tell you something as trivial as how much he liked oatmeal raisin cookies and you would still be thinking about it hours later. This was the first time a single person had so much influence over your everyday thoughts.

After the shop closed, Yoongi would stick around to help you and Stevens clean up. Sometimes he would walk you to your dorm, other times the two of you would grab at a late dinner at the 7-Eleven down the street, and rarely, you two simply parted ways at the end of your shifts. You hated the nights where he just left. You didn't like it when you didn't get to spend the extra time with him, as that time after work was when he seemed the most real, and the closest to you. Those nights where you spent time alone with him, no matter how small the amount of time was, left you wanting more and more.

The uncomfortable and awkward tension that the two of you had previously experienced was no completely gone on both ends. You were learning to trust him and to believe him wholeheartedly, even though you knew it was a dangerous game to allow yourself to fall for someone that fast. You couldn't find it within youreslf to be overly cautious; all you wanted was to be close to Yoongi.

All you wanted was him.

~YOONGI'S POV~

As he clutched the contest flyer in his hand, Yoongi realized that he was nervous to go into work. He had exciting news that he was desperate to share with You, but there was something that he had to come clean about first. What he needed to tell you wasn't exactly a big deal, or a big secret, but it still was a rather large part about his pending music career. Truthfully, he felt guilty for not revealing this part of himself to you sooner.

He could tell how invested you were becoming in him, and that simple fact always managed to make his heart beat faster. He didn't take your time or attention for granted as he could acknowledge that he'd never felt so close to someone in his life. For the first time in a very long time, Yoongi was truly beginning to feel...happy. And it was all because of you.

He took a deep breath as he turned the corner, approaching the front of the cafe at 5:30 as he usually did. He couldn't help but smile as he watched you perk up from behind the counter when he walked in. After hanging up his coat, he went over to you. He still felt slightly nervous, but upon seeing your face, excitment began to drown out the other negative emotions and worries that he had.

"Yoongi! What's up?" you exclaimed, and he grinned at your enthusiasm to see him. He nearly blurted out the words "You're cute", but bit his tongue, knowing that the comment would be a bit out of line.

"Y/N, I have good news," He teased you, his excitement now blatant.

"And?" he watched your face spread into a smile, waiting not-so-patiently for an answer.

"I've been accepted into a music competition, and recruiters from small talent agencies will be there," He grinned, cheeks turning red as you ran out from behind the counter. Out of nowhere, you were flinging your arms around him, exclaiming, "Yoongi, that's so great! I told you you'd get your chance eventually!"

Yoongi stiffened under your arms, not because he didn't like you being that close to him, but because he was surprised at how casually you embraced him. He felt guilty as you pulled away, seemingly taken notice of how he had practically just rejected your hug. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as you mumbled out an apology.

"Oh no, no! You just caught me off guard," Yoongi stammered, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "Anyway, about the competition," he changed the subject swiftly, desperately trying to recover from the uncomfortable moment, "There's something about my music I haven't exactly told you yet."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not just a pianist," he began.

"Okay?"

"I'm a rapper," he said slowly, watching you carefully to gauge your reaction.

"Oh, really?" You sounded surprised, but your tone was full of curiosity, not judgement. "You always look so gentle and calm while you're playing music...I never would've pegged you as a rapper," You chuckled, and Yoongi was relieved.

"That's how I'll be competing in the contest...I'll be rapping, not playing the piano," he explained.

"I'm so happy that you're finally getting a real opportunity, Yoongi. You deserve it, honestly," you said sincerely to him, his heart becoming elated.

"So, does that mean you'll come then?" He asked hopefully, biting his lip. He wasn't quite sure when it first started, but somewhere along the way in his relationship with you, he had suddenly begun to care a great deal about what you thought about him. He wanted you there, not just to support him, but also because he wanted to share that moment with you. He wanted you to see him doing what he was most passionate about; performing his music for others. He wanted you to be impressed with him, and to feel proud of him.

He cared what you thought.

"Come where? The competition?" You asked, seemingly excited by the idea.

"Yeah, if you can. I would like it if you came," he replied shyly.

"Of course! I would love to come! When is it?"

"Tomorrow night. 9 o'clock."

"I'll be there for sure," you nodded, and Yoongi really couldn't control the huge smile that was on his face. He wanted to play it cool, but he just couldn't.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow night then? We can go together?" He offered.

"Sounds great."

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~YOUR POV~

Yoongi showed up at Youth & Impulse at 8:30 the next night, right at the end of your shift so the two of you could walk to his competition together. Given that the cafe was right in the middle of the city, most other things were in near proximity, making walking more convinient and cheaper than taking a taxi.

Yoongi walked in the door, gaining eyes from customers as he swiftly walked up to the counter to meet you. He looked different tonight; his hair was messier than ever, but it looked like it had been styled that way on purpose. He was wearing a black and white striped cut off T-Shirt and a black hoodie. But, the hoodie was only covering one shoulder, and slipping off of the other one, exposing his pale yet obviously toned arms. It took an incredible amount of conscience effort for you to remind yourself that it would be innapropriate to continue staring at his arm muscles, no matter how bad you didn't want to look away.

He was wearing hoop earrings, replacing the small black studs that he typically wore. He was wearing three different rings across his hands, with a chain bracelet and neclace to match. As he approached, you could tell he was even wearing makeup; it was faint, but black eyeliner allowed his eyes to pop. In that moment, Yoongi truly looked like a star. He looked like someone who was famous, someone who was rich, and someone who was important. Perhaps that's why his entrance into the cafe caused so many heads to turn, so many eyes to stare, and so many people to whisper.

"Y/N! You ready?" He asked through a gummy smile, fidgeting out of apparent excitement and nervousness. You felt shy as so many people's eyes were on you. You didn't like copious amounts of attention; you found it invasive and uncomfortable.

"I am!" You replied with enthusiasm, despite the fact you were uncomfortable with all of the intruding eyes. You slipped your apron off over your clothes, simply wearing a black sweater and skinny jeans as Yoongi informed you that the dress would be very casual.

"Stevens, Yoongi and I are heading out, okay?" You called out to Stevens who was busy making a caramel macchiato.

"Yeah, yeah. Go have fun! Good luck, Yoongi," Stevens said without even turning around, too busy drizzling caramel from a squeeze bottle onto the top of the drink.

"Thank you, Sir," Yoongi replied earnestly as you made your way out from behind the counter. "Alright, let's go then."

The two of you walked through the cafe to the front door, looking like a million dollar pairing. You blushed as you noticed people's heads continuing to turn to get a look at the two of you, while Yoongi seemed unphased by the attention, if he had even noticed it at all. You took note of fame would suit him well; you were happy he was the one that had the chance to become a star, and not you. You would never be able to handle all of the privacy intrusion, the demeaning eyes, the pressure. That kind of life wasn't something you wanted. However, Yoongi seemed perfectly cut out for it.

He was walking a bit faster along the sidewalks that night. You pegged it to be his nervous yet excited energy, and all of that energy began to rub off on you. You hadn't realized how excited you were to see Yoongi perform until the two were about a block way from the venue. There were cars parked bumper to bumper along the sides of the streets, making you realize how big of a deal this really was. Perhaps it appeared like some lame underground rap competition, but after seeing the amount of people that were going to be there, you began to think otherwise.

"You said that recruiters from talent agencies are going to be here tonight, right?" You spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence that you had been walking in.

"That's right," Yoongi breathed, his breath showing in the freezing cold air.

"So, this really is a huge opportunity isn't it?" You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

"It really is," he sighed, biting his lip as you looked over at him. He didn't look so excited anymore; he looked more nervous, and you couldn't blame him.

"Hey, listen. Try not to let the pressure get to you, okay? I'm sure you'll do great. And even if you don't, this won't be your last shot," you tried to reassure him, tried to bring him a bit of comfort even though you knew that no amount of words would remove the butterflies he was likely feeling in the pit of his stomach. You wanted to reach out and try to hold his hand, but after how weird he'd been about the hug yesterday, you decided against it.

"Thanks," he offered you a small smile as the two of you found yourself standing in front of the competition venue; an old warehouse. Through the open front doors, you could see the neon lights and the crowds of people that were already there.

Yoongi was at a standstill, taking in the crowd and the energy silently.

"Ready to go inside?" You asked quietly, glancing over at him.

"Yes," he said simply, catching your eye for a short moment, before moving forward, you right beside him.

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Yoongi was the 8th person to perform, so throughout the first performances, he stood out in the crowd with you. While the people performing were Yoongi's competition, you could tell how much fun he was having while watching everyone rap. You spent a lot of time looking at him, how his facial expression was influenced by different lyrics and different emotions from the various rappers. You watched him have fun through the flashing of the neon lights and in the midst of several other sweaty bodies in the crowd. You were pressed against Yoongi's side due to the mass amounts of people that were cramped into the small space, but you didn't feel uncomfortable being beside him like that.

When his name was called out, he grabbed your hand quickly, meeting your eyes for a short second and offering one of those knee-weakening smiles, before leaving your side and running up to the stage.

The only way you could describe his performance was by using the word "flawless." He didn't skip a single beat, each word comfortably rolling off of his tongue with confidence. The emotion behind the lyrics made your heart ache for him, that he had felt that way. But that aching was distracted and disrupted by his incredible charisma while being up on that stage. You eyes were so stuck on him, you weren't sure if you had even blinked once throughout his entire performance.

You saw a different side of Yoongi come out while he was on that stage; a darker and a wilder side. You could see how much he loved what he was doing, and how much heart and passion he truly put into it. You felt true awe while standing there amidst the flashing lights and the energy and the chaos. You watched the sweat roll down his forehead as he gripped the microphone tighter, his words flowing even faster.

You watched as he worked to make his dreams come true.

Coming down from off the stage, Yoongi was clearly ecstatic. For once, he seemed entirely confident about his performance, proud of himself for a job well done. You watched as he made his way to you, unable to even register what was happening as his arms were around you, pulling you into a hug. He was hot and sweaty and practically panting because he was so out of breath. But, instead of rushing for some cold water, he went straight to you.

The moment was so surreal as Yoongi tightened his arms around your waist, you almost wondered if maybe you were dreaming. But as he whispered in your ear, "Y/N, I think I might really make it," you finally could acknowledge how real the entire situation really was. You hugged him, pressing your hands into his back to bring him closer even though his entire shirt was soaked through with sweat.

But for some reason, even though his sweat was getting all over you and several people were watching you and you were incredibly hot, you didn't want him to pull away.

You would've stayed there, embracing Yoongi, tucked against his chest for hours if you could've.

You would've stayed there, heart beating out of your chest, cheeks flushed, Yoongi pressed against you for days if you could've.

You would've stayed like that forever, really.

But like all good things, the hug had to end. And when Yoongi pulled away, there was a smile brighter than the sun on his face. He was seemed so happy and so proud, you wished you could've frozen time and taken a snapshot of that exact moment.

"Thank you, Y/N," he said softly, before hugging you quickly one more time.

#min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #kpop x reader #bts x reader #kpop #kpop fanficiton #kpop fanfic

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somethingmemeworthy · 7 years ago

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Things I love about you:

The way you’re always there for me

How when you find something funny and relatable and your eyes get kinda big and you get this big goofy smile on your face and your voice gets a little deeper and you say “me” let me tell you that makes me so fucking happy

The way you compliment me randomly

The way talking to you makes my whole world brighter

When you tell me you're proud of me

The way you put up with all of my bullshit all of the time

The way you constantly insist I’m not bugging you

Those nights when we stay up talking until two am

When you read and you get really into whats written and you start to rock back and forth like a mental patient

When you sing to me

Those nights we stay up just text and its not about anything in particular but its amazing

That we’ve been friends for the past two and a half years and you’re still able to tolerate me

Your low key racism

When you call me babes or love or anything else

When you call me mom

The way you make me feel so loved

When I get really sad about the future and my life and you’re there to calm me down and talk me through it

The way your head pops up and you start singing when I put on la vie Boheme

When you read to me

When you get super mad when I’m on my phone and you’re trying to show me something

How you’re the best older brother in the world

How hopeful you are (sometimes)

That I can actually be myself around you

How happy you get over the little things

The eyeroll and subsequent hang up when I make a pun

How you actually make me cry so easily because of how much I love you

That you would actually like to plan to meet me despite everything being in the way

When I get a text from you while I’m asleep and I wake up the next morning to see it and you’re the first thing I wake up to

How kind you are

How smart you are

All the times I have almost gone off the deep end that you’ve helped me back from

When I get sad and you’re always the first person I can talk to

how much you love Sophie

When you sing and it gets too high and you just like say “fuck” and stop trying

When you don’t respond for hours because you were with your puppy and she’s the most important person in your life (which is good)

That you call Kyle your best friend

That you tease me

When you move your hair the wrong way and it looks really stupid and you don’t notice because you’re in the wrong tab

That you call people on their bullshit

That you don’t have a lot of friends because I’m so much friend it’d be bad if you were super popular

When you get really passionate about something (which you do every few months its really cute)

That you’re really good at making cards

Your bracelets (especially the one I gave you)

When I genuinely get to make you laugh and you look really happy at least for a second

Your super dramatic reenactment of rent (“what are you staring at?” Are still the favorite words you’ve ever said to me)

Your jokes

When you laugh over really stupid shit and I’m pretty sure you’re actually mental or some shit

Just because

How proud you are of your leg hair

This may be kinda sad but that one night we were face timing and we were talking about ******* and you said that you thought you were in love and in retrospect it was really wrong and sad and shit but in that moment you looked so happy and your voice was faded just like it does and you looked really nice and it was just a really nice moment the way I remember it

Im gonna get arguments on this one but how attractive you are

How you always say you’re going on a diet and then. Week later never do

When you let me know when you’ll be busy because you don’t want me to freak out

When you let me buy you things and spoil you because I genuinely do love you and want you to have things and be happy

That despite feeling like this you’re trying to hang on and you’re planning a future and you’re honestly trying as hard as you can

When I try to text ****** again and you get mad at me and tell me how bad she is for me and I know I protest but It makes me know you really want whats best for me

That day you refused to talk to me till I had eaten because you knew I needed to same reason as above

The asian jokes we make about you

I almost forgot how proud of me you are when I do something like when I graduated or when I got accepted and you were so proud

That you’re honest with me about when something is wrong rather than hiding it to spare my feelings

How into video games you are

Your persistence (when you want something to get done, you’ll do it)

The dorky little peace signs you do in selfies

All the confidence you have that I don’t (this is not physical but like online and cussing and shit which I don’t really do)

Every “when we meet” scenario

Your underwear collection

When you say you love me

When we’re talking and you just go silent and I’m like talking and I realize you’re replying to someone and I just trail off and say random things to keep the mood until you pay attention again

; )

That you know me so well to call my grandparents Mahmah and papa

How you get pissed when I tell you I had gluten or some shit

You’re basically the light of my life and I never expected it

Even when Im terribly depressed, talking with you cheers me up enough to the point of basic human functioning

Your truly fucked sleep schedule that makes it hard for me to gauge when you’lll be up in the morning

How easy you are to read

That you let me talk shit about everyone to you

Your bracelets and how they’re os significant to you

When you’re feeling down and we go into deep philosophical talks bout life and the universe

Just being with you on the phone- neither of us have to be talking, its just nice.

Your love of miranda Cosgrove

That you know more about me than any of my friends/ siblings/parents

That you would be the one person I might ever let touch my phone

Sharing secrets

You always try to HELP me whenever possible. When I failed a test, instead of saying “oh that sucks” you ask what I can do differently next time

Throughout the past 2.5 years you’ve been my strongest advocate

I really see you as the most prominent male figure in my life

Your handwriting is shit but in a cool way

I would pick you over a dog any day

How you’ve influenced my life (in particular my political and social views- definitely for the better)

Having someone to come to about the maddy situation

Being able to say definitively I have a best friend

You make jokes at the most innapropriate times

However many days you have left on earth, knowing you’ll be able to spend them with me is enough

How pretty your eyes are when you get excited about something and they sparkle and scrunch up

How much you love New York and how fondly you speak of it (it really warms my heart)

Being able to cope with my self hatred and my own problems while also managing yours fairly well

Basically stepping in as my dad while also letting me be there for you in a parent way

Dreaming big

when you call me babes or love

Complimenting my art when we both know its shit

When you randomly text me throughout the day which you don’t normally do

Your love of haddock

The spur of the moment facetimes when one of us is feeling sad

You’re the least judgmental person I’ve ever met (of me at least) and one of the kindest

the pictures of us I have on my laptop

You’re one of the most self sacrificing people I’ve ever met

The little things that you remember about me that you bring up that make me realize how much you really listen

How funny you are

When we talk and we go off on those little tangents and start calling each other sweetie and it basically one of those skits

“stoop”

That night I was in the hotel and I snuck out of the room so I could talk to you and boy oh boy was that a nice night bc we planned a trip, talked all night, and even though there were plenty of tears on my end, it's still one of my fondest memories of you

Same night, when the mean receptionist lady yelled at me and you had left and I was panicked crying in the room and upset and you called back and you were just so gentle and caring and talking to you automatically cheers me up

Low-key trying to set our siblings up

When you're singing to me and you literally pause to burp

That one time you joked that we should get married and I said “will you marry me?” and you got super freaked out and were trying to let me down easy that was really funny but also just really a nice moment because you're so sweet

this is some super straight shit and probs no one is gonna read it but bottom line is people see you from a completely different perspective. When you see yourself what you may see is all negative, but someone else sees you in a completely different light. All those weird quirks you don't notice or don't think anything of make someone else’s day brighter. You are all loved by someone.

#love #self love #positivity #love my best friend #friendship #best friend #I should just call this blog the truscum-tranny fanpage #should I do that #im gonna do that

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cispicious · 4 years ago

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JUNE 2, 2011

Hey there. I doubt (people will read this) that journals are supposed to be used for advertising, or propoganda about oneself. I'm guessing it's what normal journals are used for: to document the day to day trials of human life. Yea, but I'm not human. So I guess my definition of a journal shall be, "Trials of a Nephal" If you don't know what a Nephal is, ask God. Oh, and in case you're far too lazy - or just don't care about my looks - to go check my pictures, I can give you a short description right here: * I'm the same height as Taylor Momsen, my favorite celebrity. <3 * [redacted because holy shit this was bad] * I'm Jamacain and Scottish, and my hair is a sort of red-brown-blonde color. * [redacted because holy shit this was bad] So, are you looking for a biography of my life? I'm not sure I want to type that much. I guess I'll summarize it and make it even less of a biography by telling you things about myself:

I was born on January 2nd, 1996 in New York. I moved down to Florida with my family when I was 12, and have been here fro three years. (Can you calculate my age?) I'm bisexual, but I lean more towards girls. I may [redacted because holy shit this was bad]. My life revolves around music and sarcasm. My English 2 Honors teacher wrote in my yearbook to never forget the essence of my spark. Lol, no. My teacher's not Taylor Swift. She actually told me to never lose my sarcasm, and who am I to defy a teacher? .... I like to think that I'm humorous enough to start a YouTube webshow, but even though I have an HD Camcorder, I can never find the willpower to do such things. Maybe because I'm really sensitive and insecure, and I doubt I can take the hate comments....right. Anyway. People think I'm a player because of the rather extensive list of people I've been with. Honestly, I used to be a player. I've only been turned down once in my life, and only God knows why. Because it can't be my dashing good looks or humble personality, right? Oh my, looks like I've hit the irony button again. I'm actually in love right now, and I can't tell you who, just in case you jealous bitches go on a rampage.

Anyway, shall I post about my day? I'm in 7th period - Speech and Debate - right now. My friend Barbara and I are the only girls on this side of the room. It's not like we ever do anything in here. We're too effing smart, so we just keep quiet while the bumbling idiots around us try to keep up with the teacher, and stumble over words like oppression. I just showed her that. She laughed. x) Oh, um, the rest of the class is either playing games or watching The Great Debaters. I saw it in 8th grade. I don't need to see it again. The boy, Junior, isn't exactly eye candy. Finals begin tomorrow. Me and my science project parter don't have to take a Biology final, because we won the science project competition. (We - I - made an action movie about the project, pretending to be spies who had to solve the Problem, or else the White House would blow up.) Let's call her Erica. I'm scared to be alone with her, if we have to go to a different room, because she has a crush on me. And she doesn't even know I'm bisexual. She makes people move so she can sit next to me, touches me innapropriately, and told me that she knows that we're supposed to be soulmates. Save me. So here's my question of the day - supposing I write everyday and that any of you care - : What do you do when you want to make someone stop loving you, but you don't want to stop being their friend or hurt their feelings?

JUNE 3RD 2011

I'm only making this 'cause someone's making me. Let's have a recap of my day, shall we? 6:33 - woke up over an hour late. I didn't shower and merely tussled my hair, and I ate breakfast in the car. Got to school on time, despite what my dad thought. Realized I didn't have my Biology textbook which was due today. Panicked for a second, then decided not to give a shutzpah. In Latin 2, I spent like, ten minutes on my final. I had my AE do it for me, then I went to sleep in the chair on the other side of the room. It smelled funkeh. In Biology, I didn't have to take a final so I went to the Media Center with Jackie, and not Erica. Fank chu, Lawd for making her not come. So I sat down in the back, and Jackie - constant bully that she is - made me sit on the floor so that she could read comfortably on the place where I was lounging. It was cold in there. Um, nothing exciting really happened. My sister is annoying the hellzpah out me and I'm gonna kill her. Question of the day: Why isn't it possible to go back in time yet?

JUNE 6TH 2011

Hello, ladies and gents. So, today is the second day of finals and the beginning of the end. That's right. IT'S THE LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!!!11!!111!! I took my English 2 Honors and Algebra 2 exams earlier today (actually I just finished my Algebra) and I have to say I was dissapointed by the lack of imagination by my teachers. I mean, these tests were a bit too easy- not that anything's wrong with that. But you ever get that feeling that once you believe something to be incredibly easy, turns out you got every damn thing wrong? Yeah. That's how I feel. Anywho, this guy I think is adorkable (and he's a skater, swoon!) opened the door for me and made a cute joke. Now before you say "oh dear Lord is this just another hopeless romantic?" let me tell you that he only does it for me. When anyone else is at the door, he just stares at it like it's the door to Armagaddeon or something. I have a question: Do any of you believe in alter ego's? Do you believe it's possible to seperate your body from yours? (Google!) I have one. My friend named her Cali, don't ask. But if any of you have had encounters with your AE's, PM me. We need to discuss something. But that wasn't my question of the day. The real question is: Is it possible for your Alter Ego to become their own person?

JUNE 7TH 2011

But I set fire to the rain Watched it pour as I touched your face Well, it burned while I cried 'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name When laying with you I could stay there Close my eyes, feel you here forever You and me together, nothing is better 'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true And the games you's play, you would always win, always win I'm in love with this song. I cried hearing this girl sing it. I think I'm in love with her now. WHY CAN'T i HAVE A VOICE LIKE HERS, GOD??????? I'm gonna cry. This song makes me cry. Her voice. So damn angelic. Anyway, about my day: IT SUCKED. The only fun part was during homeroom when we were playing Scrabble, [redacted because holy shit this was bad]. Oh, and I talked to my friend Ella for the first time in months. I swear, I'm just going to keep promoting this girl. I wonder if I can get her number....sigh. If only she had red hair. LAWL. I'm just joking guys. My heart belongs to Caraquel. Yanno, when she wants it. Anywhom Question of the Day: What makes you laugh?

JUNE 8TH 2011

Tomorrow's the last day of school. I finished my Speech and Debate class early, so I'm coming here. I'm about to pour out my feelings here. I'm about to get deep. Like, 6 feet underground deep, brah. So, I think I'm in love. With the fucking world. I have this problem where I love too much. I suppose there's a gap in my heart from not getting enough love when I was a kid, or maybe my brain is just fucked up. I've fallen two feet, I've been dropped, I've had a glass cup of coffee fall on my head all before I finished kindergarten. Maybe that's why my brain is fucked up. There's a lump in my head, and I'm not sure if that's normal. I think it messed up my mouth-brain connection, where I don't say what I think. Like, if I think "Mr. John's class is nice." I'll end up saying. "Mr. John has a nice ass." or something, when the guy is like 1,000 years old and looks like Santa Claus. And the sad thing is- I can never remember saying it. Sometimes I think it's Cali saying these things, and other times I think I'm just special. I love my girlfriend, my ex, and my two best friends. (But I love Cara the most.) I get jealous beyond belief when they so much as mention another person. The thing is, I should only love my girlfriend. 'Cause she's the only one that (I think) even wants to marry me. And that's the only reason I'd ever be interested in a person- because I think they're worth it for the long haul. I really should get over all the others, because they're taken and they don't want me for the long run. They want me for the here and now, I guess. Or maybe they want me for the here and now so they can see what they'd be getting in the long run. I'm so confused and I'm hurting, but I just can't stop loving. My girlfriend's favorites on Twitter are chock full of gay boys telling her they love her. And I get jelly because I'm the first - and only - girl she's ever liked ('cause I'm just that rockin') but she could probably change their sexualities. My best friend, Cara, I just...I just love her. I'm crying right now IN EFFING PUBLIC because of how much it would kill me to not have her in my life, to not have her love. And if you are reading this Caraquel, I love you. I love you. I know Cali said she was helping me get over you, but I don't think it's possible. Every time I think about you...it's not possible to live without you. But yeah. I need to get my cranium checked. This just ain't realistic. I mean, whenever my friends come to me about their relationship problems, I think "Oi, if only it were possible for me to love you all." but mostly because I hate it when they cry over some chick who doesn't give two flying shits about anyone but herself. So, my questions of the day are: Is it possible to have fucked up the love gland in your brain? Is it possible to love more than one person? Is it possible to die from heartbreak?

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ockendenartiguess-blog · 6 years ago

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Heath Bunting - 03 OCT 2018

Review: So today we got mumbled at by a very arrogant man, with a shiny head and some actually good ideas...but perhaps the worst execution I've yet seen. I'm really not a fan, his delivery was poor and his art tended to be between 'bad' to 'dangerous'. In all fairness, the man IS a terrorist. Well, not anymore, not legally. His work has cosistantly had the goal of undermining 'the system', taking power away from large corporations, and generally flipping off the status quo. The methods he used were really innapropriate to be honest, incorrect and the wrong type of dangerous. Most notably, his bio-weapon (as described below) is the strongest example of the sheer endangerment Heath doesn't care for potentially putting people in. It defines snipping the nose to fuck-off the face. Worst of all; his motivation is good! Genuinely, I agree with every core idea, what he's wanted to do and say, but his fucking work is awful. It forgoes consequence and repurcussion for the sake of being a bold statement. It doesn't only cross legal and visionary lines, it crosses moral and humanitarian ones. Infuriatingly, the bulk of his presentation was autobiographical in nature, spoken more pride than I knew someone could deliver in mumble. For my last personal attack I'll call him over-priveliged, because he acts so. I tried looking into his education and background to justify such a claim, but he's hard to find. Maybe that's the terrorism? Who knows...that said, he was living on the streets for a while. Eh, whatever, he acts like he can afford any consequence, so I'll treat him as such. Learing is the key to these lectures though, and I've learned a big one; don't be this guy. I'm gonna thoroughly consider the repurcussion of my art, my ideas and creatie functions just so I won't be like him. Our ambitions run a little paralell, so I'll keep my scale in check. In saying that I find my most significant issue; I think I'm a little liek this guy. Just maybe, if I was born in his time, I'd have been framed for planting a bomb too... We can only dream. Notes from Lecture: So, A.I. This guy is gonna do a Skynet. Hope whatever he does is cool, A.I is fascinating shit. Career history; Commercial Artist, Poliitical Artist then Military Artist? Or Martial, apparantly. He sounds bored. Like his own voice is droning him into dust. And Kinda uncertain, but then again, presenting sucks. Feel ya, bud. Says he's currently training artists in outdoor survival and security? Bit of a weird one that. Okay so he has a massive list of shows and exhibitons he's done, projected at the wall, from like the 80's to the now'ties. Massive tho, seriously. MASSIVE. Young life involved his reletionship with authority. Noting that is either his whole point, or arrogance. Sounds like he doesn't like that it was like that, by his tone, however. The guy was homeless in europe, he begged nd stole until he realised he needed a trade. Began making lil things (no picture and he didn't even describe them)from collected shards of glass from bottles, windows and shit. Lead him to learning about staining glass, performative and comission-driven. Says the most valuable thing he learnt was how to sell. He's sounding SOOO bored. Apparantly he went thru that before going back to the streets, to be a street artist. Claims he was reacting to how it was "illegal to be young in the 80's". Don't know if thats much changed, nowadays it's illegal to get experience. His tone is turning prideful. Thank god he's less dull. Dude threatened some police with a hammer when they thought he was stealing some glass, but he claims this made him seem more innocent. Going on about how fighting implies innocence yet submitting suggests guilt. He's white, though, rozzers would have beaten the hell out of him if he was black or middle eastern. Privelidged fuck. Getting done with him tbh. He started working with chalk, says he got in less trouble this way. Now, earlier he was banging on about the trouble he got in and he was so proud, now he's going against it. I mean, he was gonna attack a cop. Got soft? The long list of exhibitions and shows displayed is in an odd format: -Work Title, Vague what-it-is, Location, Funded by (x). Most x's say 'None, none, none'. Either this is something I don't quite get, or he's an arrogant prick. Quote: "Has anyone heard of a bulletin board?" You condescending shit, half of us may be millenials, but we aren't media blind. Jesus. In the mid 00's he made 'Internet Art'. Made this site where it asked people if they'd see it's URL written in chalk anywhere, if so when and where. Meh, kinda cool for its time. Starts claiming it's a statement about how media makes your work worse. See, buddy, publiscity tends to be bad if A: Your work sucks. B: You are incable of receiving criticism. C: You don't actually like your work. The man is so tiresome. It's getting like rhetoric, he isn't repeating the same few words over and over but GODDESS does it feel like it. Plants? Zoned out for a sec and now we're on plants. Cool. 'If you can make a plant a super-food (by genetic engineering and breeding) then you can make a weed a super-weed, and you should, for the balance' (Not a literal quote, but the gist) But...but people need food? Not weeds? This dude says he did this to attack some food company who were trying to dominate the market, which is a good principal, but his means are awful. He's made this weed a "Weaponized bio product". That is indeed a middle finger at the company...and everyone who eats food. So, like, everyone. Congrats, guy, you're a dick. Any clue what would happen if his weapon fell into the wrong hands? Probably something not-great. When someone from Copenhagen, Denmark, offered to put his weapon into a missile (an actual rocket-powered missile) he said that was too far. I don't like him. Another project, guides for how to cross illegal borders. Kinda cool, still relevant as hell today. Ah, now he's a superior atheist. That's all my patience can handle.

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