#and BAD appts too like jeez.

[andrena]

all the stressful tasks are done. phew! may was such a month, never wanna live through that again thanks

[monsterbisexual]

feeling like im being driven to my execution (its a drs appointment)

[themoodykidsblog]

Reply : )

You are the bold tings 

I am the normal tings 

btw**If I ask questions in this just dm me the answers lol

“I’m all good. I just had a doctors appt which took forever but nothing to worry about thanks for asking.” 

Oh okay that’s calmed me, I was going crazy at the time, I thought something bad had happened, I didn’t know if I was being a silly moo or not...yk. 

“ Also I’m gonna check out the thing now but I’m rly glad it seems like this won’t has been good at least w music”

Emily, I have NO IDEA what you were aiming to say here fam, but I only had a minor stroke so..all good : )

“U have no idea how much ready that made me smile fr that’s actually so thoughtful and how u remember all of that in such detail wow😂”

I’m honestly glad It made you smile because it made the others smile too, i’m quite happy about that. Yeah I have a strange thing with detail, sometimes I go a bit too much into it, however, I felt it was necessary for that kind of message.  

“...the nun story was made up but I appreciate that u remember that sm haha, and the ozone layer and everything...”

Oiiii, you definitely had me with that I was thinking like “Who tf are these Nuns and why hasn’t anyone called the police or something...chasing kids and taking phones n shit” and legit, as I’m writing this it had just made me remember that some nights when me or David didn’t reply cos we were SLEEPING, one of you kept sending like “penis” 50+ times at 4:00 a.m...I mean, it wasn’t that pleasing waking up to penis but whatever!

“And it’s actually insane how many years it has been”

I knowwwww, I can’t believe next year it’ll be THREE YEARS since we all met, crazy stuff!! Nah like I actually find it soooooo weird how, we were all on Instagram one day, and SOMEHOW you came across our account. I remember me and David thought you and the rest were a bit sus as well as 3 doods being mega weird, wait I was 16 when we started talking eww wtf i’m now 19 Im so old why am i writing this ur thinking?! idk its just all coming out 😂

“...Then I remember Graydon got added to the gc and I didn’t know what to think at first but we bonded over liking Hamilton and making fun of his bagged milk and how he spoke French.”

Oh my days I can not BELIEVE He used milk from a bag THAT. IS. SO. WRONG. Straight from the cows boob or udder or whatever the fuck, is the best  😂 You all were so different from me and David haha, we failed french...well David did, I JUST passed, kinda and we didn’t read books or go to musicals but 2 years on..I still don’t.  

“Then I remember thinking how crazy it was to realize aurora lives like an hour drive away from me or maybe less.”

Jeez I forgot she lives down in AZ, would you ever go see her if you had the time and set it up with her? Or do you think it would be awks n weird n stuff 😂 Personally I actually don’t wanna meet anyone..jk obvs, but when i’m selling out shows in Phoenix you’re all being der ygm 😂

“I remember u and David went to that rainbow looking school and u had French together and u wore those funny little proper uniforms”

Nah I was creasing when I read this yk!! I can’t lie it was..a...weird school to go to 😂 But yeah I remember the uniform was so heavy like back in 2016 summer it got up to 37 - 40 Celsius that’s like the hottest temp in the UK in 60yrs or something and we had to wear jumpers and blazer EVEN IN THE CLASSROOM nah im getting vexed just thinking about it but yeah I stole an exit sign from the main entrance to keep as a keepsake lol

“u and David would joke around and say I was the annoying posh type of I was English and one day I remember being on discord for hours until like 6am for u guys”

Yeah we both thought you were dead serious n shit like we tried not to swear in the chat cos we didn’t know if you were a hard church person! Yeah I remember those days too. The thing is, a while before we met you and the rest we would do that daily like our days would be like: go to school, come home, search the cupboards, and then go on discord at like 8 pm and get off at 4-5 am Friday thru Saturday! and yeah i remember you never talked when we were in a call and me and David we actually had to msg each other shit like “oi is Emily good?” and when we asked on discord you’d reply with “yeah i’m here” 😂

“...and David making tea or coffee smthg like that”

I have the video he made, I’ll send it to you, lmk when you get this far!

“I remember the night u said u we’re leaving for Germany and how I was nervous bc I knew I couldn’t do anything to stop u but I just wanted u to be happy.”

We’re even, We made it up and planned that 😂 Sorry :( David would msg me on snapchat me and be like “They’re actually tryna get me to go get and help you! fuck off” He’s a good one! 

“I remember the dogs u had years ago”

Yeah I had to leave them behind when I left :( it was the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do! I had the fluffy one for 8yrs and the small one for 8 months

“I could never forget that u thought the Ozone layer was a basketball term”

Allow it and forget it yh I’m smarter now innit!

“...and sorry Izzy and I were little bitches back then”

Nah it’s all good I think i spoke to her like *well idk who i was speaking to* 4 times lol she was funny when we did talk tho! 

“but I rly appreciate our friendship and sticking together through the years and yeah can’t wait for more memories”

Me too, i’m glad it was you guys who we bumped into that day, I actually can’t explain how grateful I am to know you are there whenever I need you rt! The Future gonna be great fr !! Thank you!

[sumergosuigeneris]

March 4, 2019

Yesterday was more productive than it could have been, but not as productive as it should have been.

Had to make myself go the the bar to see musician friend. Turns out there was a whole party going on for some other blues person. I had planned to stay an hour, but was kind of hoping my tab would either get included in m-friend’s, or the person whose bday it was. Have to be honest about my shame. Sadly, no such luck either way. But I met a bunch of nice people, and found out about some other bars/clubs/performances.

But I was tired and hungry after, and it was kind of late, so I didn’t go grocery shopping, etc... I ended up with a bad parking space again, and swore I wouldn’t screw up.

This morning I was so tired, I decided not to go in and/or to work from home until later afternoon. Round about 11-ish I remembered where my car was parked! That got my ass up. I was prepared for the ticket. Which I didn’t have, thank god. And I got a good parking space, thank the gods. And I didn’t miss anything emergent, gratefully to all the deities. So, today after work, I need to be productive.

I also had a very bad dream this morning, which probably was a big part of why the day didn’t start off well. I dreamed I was in IOP again. And I was on a group day, so no one-on-one. But it was a bad day, and I ran into IT and she said she’d see me. So I go in, and at some point, maybe the beginning?, the IT I saw the one time came in, and they start chatting during what is supposed to be my session. It was all about IT’s mom. And they’re ignoring me, not telling me to go, or that they’ll be done soon or anything, so I leave. And it ticks IT off. I don’t really remember anything else, but I think it turned into a whole thing. Very unsettling even now. Really bothered me. Not sure why she bothers me even now. I hadn’t really thought of them/that place in a while either, so not sure what the trigger was.

Should try to get an appt today. Ugh, don’t really want to. And I need to remember to get my prescriptions filled. Aaaaannndddd, I didn’t do any of it. Whoops.

Did go to ww. I only gained 2 1/2 lbs. Thanks be to gods. I was happy to be there for a while, but then I got sad. I think because I was sad that one of the ladies was probably done with me for the night. I totally understand, she was working, but my feelings don’t.

I was anxious when I got there because I almost had a heart attack leaving work. And by heart attack, I mean anxiety. One of the people (I like) from the archery team was walking behind me. She may or may not have seen/recognized me. And after that, I think the prez was walking across the street, parallel with me. He may or may not have seen/recognized me. And of course, I wasn’t wearing a hat or scarf. I popped my hood up, but it was probably too late.

I managed to make myself go grocery shopping. I managed to make myself use the list. I had to do one stop for turkey, because I’m particular about my lunch meat. I was in a line that was one line for two registers. I figured the plan was to go to which was less used. But some bitch just walked up and made her own line behind one of the registers. I was angry.

At the other store, I managed to complete one recipe’s ingredients. The rest are just mostly. When I was checking out, I had a bagger. She/they had a huge attitude. I had my own bags, but a few more items than bags. I said I didn’t need any bags, but she put them in a bag. I took the stuff out and tried to give it back. I was nicely explaining how I have a bazillion plastic bags at home and don’t need any extra. She wouldn’t take the bag back. Told me to throw it out for all she cared. I put it on the next register, and tried to remind myself that she might be having a bad day. But damn. I know it’s freaking cold out, hell I was unprepared for the cold, but jeez people. Why do people have to be douches?

Speaking of, my pet peeve of people not using their blinkers and hazard lights.

Yeah, I think I was just extra today. Extra grouchy, or tired, or something. Because chewing was getting on my nerves too. Fucnk me.

Started watching always a witch. It’s set in colombia! First thought - I am really, really, really, really ignorant about my father’s homeland. Second, I didn’t know they had black people as slaves there, because.....I didn’t know (or perhaps remember, seeing as I did have a geography class) that colombia straddles the pacific and carribean; I thought it was on the other side of the tail that connects the continents, and so only bordered the pacific. Also, I’m just used to the spanish using indigenous peoples as slaves. But now that I know the true location of colombia, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that that fucking heinous practice extended all the way. What would this world be like if enslavement of africans never happened? What would this world be like if africans had been able to freely travel and explore and be self-actualizing and independent?

Besides logging my points again, I determined that I really need to be eating more vegetables. And also, finishing the food that’s in my freezer. I love veggies so I don’t know why I don’t eat more of them. Anyway, since it was cold, and I was hungry and tired, I wanted to make soup. I even managed to not snack while cooking! Anyway, I was really excited to have found frozen kale. So I put kale in my chicken soup, and a bunch of freezer-burned stirfry veggies. With enough salt and spicy, it was yummy. Veggie broth is surprisingly not-water. But, and this being my second time doing this I feel I’m an expert, the inability of thawing/cooking frozen chicken breast in broth to keep/make the chicken moist again, is sad.