#i just moved to a new place last month
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boyobjectifier · 3 months ago
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i’m so grumpy recently ugh
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spotaus · 2 months ago
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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gothamsaved · 2 months ago
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Last thing OOC before I actually do those written replies—- just more or less wanna explain why I haven’t been reaching out to people or answering back much OOC lately.
I have been going through a lot irl and my mental health has been in the absolute trash. I’ve been socially withdrawing and isolating again because I am convinced I am a burden or me rambling about any of my muses will leave people to feel left out or ignored and its left me feeling like shit and scared to really get my gushing out anywhere while feeling “safe” if that makes sense. Or in private? I worry I’ll annoy people regardless cause 99% of the time it is just my unhinged ass sending memes of Batman and going “cretchur” or “lookit this freak of a man” over doing anything really, truly productive.
So I’ve been in a state of “You’re too annoying you’re boring them they will replace you with someone better who can actually do this thing right” and it’s been severely affecting my ability to reach out among irl stress adding onto the list.
I will however try my best to reach out more through throwing asks ( prompted / unprompted if I seen Askmemes! ) at mutuals who let me know it is absolutely okay to interact and be a pest, as I know I can’t hold much of a conversation these days, not sure when it will lift enough I can confidently plot and talk out potential dynamics, but I want it to be known if we follow each other, I am interested in writing with you, absolutely. I am just not good with starting things up, which is why I encourage the sending of asks back to me so we can see how muses interact before we plot things out.
I really don’t give a fuck about my follower count, I don’t do the whole collecting people and muses thing as that is a huge trigger of mine as well. I am here to build up meaningful stories with people who want to genuinely put in the time and effort into getting to know each other’s muses. I never want anyone to feel collected. You guys have so much creativity and passion for the muses you write I am always blown away by the OOC posts rambling about them, the edits, the well thought out replies.
I want to do more with you guys. I’m not gonna let my depression kick my shit in and prevent it, but I will take time to have that courage to plot in private again. Until my mental health gets better, I hope this will be okay in the meantime.
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wormwonder · 4 months ago
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playing with circles O●°○•°o.
#trypophobia#i want to draw again so bad#i feel like my brain is too full of gunk and the only way to clean it is by drawing and i just don't have the time#i did this at work when it was slow#i'm in the process of moving right now. it'll be my first time living alone#i'm finally getting my adhd medicated after getting diagnosed in january#my life is so different year to year it honestly is dizzying#at this time last year my current roommate and i were looking for an apartment#at this time two years ago i had been at my second job ever for three months and i didn't have a car#and my mom had to drive with me to and from work because the van had been totaled and we only had the one car for the four of us#at this time three years ago i had just graduated and was a month into my first ever job. didn't even know how to drive#i thought i was so behind in life and that i was gonna be stuck like that eternally#now... god i don't even know. i'm trying to be positive#this is gonna be my solo chapter. my zuko alone episode. my walden pond.#but really i'm just so scared all the time and i have no choice but to keep treading water forever#i feel like all through childhood everything stays the same. nothing prepared me for living through constant change#entering my mid twenties i'm learning that. yeah you can't predict everything you can't prepare for everything#you can't keep anything and you can't change anything#but you can hold it in your hands. you can choose to live it. you can choose to be there#i hope once i get settled at my new place i'll suddenly find time to do everything#i hope the meds help me with that. i just want to draw again. i just want to feel alive again
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sportsthoughts · 5 months ago
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WHY is moving house so stressful
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brainfilehasstoppedworking · 7 months ago
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CW I guess for Daikaaki,,, I know that ain't everyone's cup of tea.
《~~~~~~~》
Takaaki, in life, has seen many corpses. It's his job. But this…
He couldn't bear it. He…couldn't breathe…
What…was Daiya doing…on…the street bleeding out? He was smiling, too. It's that same smile Takaaki had seen that morning. Before going into work. When…
"Dai…ya…" Takaaki breathed out. That smile. He remembered the kiss he gave Daiya's forehead. The man was sleeping. Or he thought he was, but he was actually awake. From the lighting of the other room creeping into the room they were in, he could see Daiya's mouth curve up. His smile was charming as always.
He couldn't…dammit, Takaaki, breathe!
He could see Mondo's broken form on the ground, cradling Daiya in his arms as he cried.
The cuts and the scrapes all over Daiya's face and body was too much to bear as well. His clothes were tattered and dirty.
Takaaki remembered seeing Daiya like that everyday. Dirty white or black clothes, having cuts in the fabric, face bruised or red, minor and major cuts, scrapes on his hands. But his eyes were always open. That dammed smile there, too. His lavender eyes just so full of life. That smile full of charm that even Takaaki couldn't help but not try to evade.
Takaaki wanted to throw up looking at Daiya now. His throat threatened to make him puke out whatever his body offered. Tears spilling out of his eyes as he cried softly.
Takaaki could only hear his fellow officers in the background…along with Mondo's screams of agony right next to him. Takaaki wanted to reach out to the boy, to comfort him. But he couldn't. He couldn't see well…his vision was so blurry and his eyes stung.
Mondo continued to scream and cry as he held Daiya in his arms. "Wh…What happened?" Takaaki forced out. "H-He…he…Daiya…" Mondo held his brother tighter. He'll have to ask later…
Not when…
Oh, God, the blood that spilled from Daiya's body was too much. Takaaki needed to just breathe.
"How many dead bodies have you seen?" Daiya had asked him once. "Too many to count at this point." Takaaki had answered back. "Any of them gruesome?" Daiya asked. "All of them. In their own ways…" Takaaki said as he lit his cigarette. "Any of them still fresh in yer head..? Like…ya can't stop thinkin' about 'em?" Daiya asked, his expression serious now.
"Hm…I believe so. But I do end up not thinking too much of them. But sometimes they do tend to stick with me." Takaaki had answered him. He'd seen too many to remember how much exactly. And all of them gruesome and stomach turning. The many ways a person could die or how their bodies could be altered never felt limited. There was so much you could do.
And he'd seen so many of them.
People different ages and differences in deaths, times, places, how they looked.
That's how Daiya was.
He was different from some. Same with others in a way. But still different.
Too different.
He could close his eyes and still see Daiya. The blood pooling from his face. The smile. The scrapes. The cuts. The bruises. Whatever limb was mangled. It was too vivid when he had them closed he couldn't keep them closed for long. Even when he wanted to. He'll still see Daiya.
Takaaki took Daiya's hand in his, it was so cold to the touch…
Hands that were scarred. Once so warm compared to Takaaki's less warm ones were now just as cold as ice. Takaaki held his hand to his lips and kissed them. He kissed the scars Daiya had on it. Just as he did many times over.
Daiya always found it funny whenever Takaaki would. Like each scar deserved its own kiss. That they needed love, too.
Takaaki held Daiya's hand so tightly that he felt like it'd just get crushed in his own hand. They felt more fragile now…
"We should go…" Takaaki whispered to Mondo as he continued to hold Daiya's hand. He didn't want to let go. He never wanted to let go. He always wanted to hold Daiya's hand, afraid he'll leave. But now he was gone and he had to let go.
"Y-Yeah…" Mondo agreed, tears still streaming down his face. The both got off the floor, Mondo struggling to stand up from either shock or he just couldn't move them from being injured. Takaaki helped him up as they both walked into Takaaki's car. Leaving the crime scene.
Takaaki could hear his fellow officers yelling at him to not take Mondo away until they asked him questions. But Takaaki didn't listen. Mondo was to be arrested too. Illegal street racing…
But Takaaki didn't. As much as he'd had wanted to before, he couldn't.
Daiya would've begged him to not let Mondo get arrested.
He could hear him saying it right now.
He could hear Daiya's voice from when he arrested him, too.
Why couldn't he just leave his mind for once? Takaaki knew he was grieving…they…they were recently dating…their relationship was so fresh. Takaaki never reminded himself that Daiya could die from these things.
He was shaking.
Seeing Mondo in the mirror looking down at his shoes felt all the same as before. Mondo was younger and so was Daiya. He felt sick again.
Everything shouldn't remind him of Daiya!
Even when Daiya was in the backseat with his brother holding his corpse as Takaaki drove them over to the hospital…
Takaaki wanted to throw up more than before.
He was so sick.
Seeing that smile. The blood.
Just focus on the road, Takaaki, he told himself. Just focus…driving…focus…
Takaaki could only think of Daiya's handsome smile as he forced himself to focus on the road. It didn't help that he could smell Daiya's blood from the backseat.
Taunting him.
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elvencantation · 10 months ago
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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the apartment we looked at today was really bad - like, one room was missing half the flooring and they (the landlord) just put carpet over it. luckily it was only the current tenant there, though - she told us about the landlord and that she's... not great. so even if the apartment had been decent we wouldn't have been interested after that.
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rosicheeks · 2 years ago
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when was the last time you had an orgasm? feel free to give as many or as few details as you want to share 😘💖
-🌸
Last time? Hmmmmm….. I don’t remember 😭
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poppyseed799 · 1 year ago
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Brother why are there so many roaches we have had TWO full exterminations and BOTH TIMES the roaches came back. The first time there were less of them for a week (still some) but the second time there was absolutely zero difference in the number of roaches even immediately after the extermination. Like man. What am I supposed to do about this
#they’re in all the appliances dawg how am I supposed to cook 😭#and my sister is just like ‘just move out!!!’ brother WHERE#she is actually moving out on the shortest notice imaginable cuz she can’t deal with the roaches#going to our ex step fathers house cuz she already planned to move in there with her partner#but now she’s going there early cuz of the roaches#and like okay sure but WE can’t move in there. and yet she’s like ‘find a new place!’ brother we renewed the lease#and also do you know how the world works nowadays you can’t move anywhere it’s always more expensive 😭#we’re like frogs in boiling water#I jumped ahead with that metaphor but I’m too lazy to backtrack to explain how I got there#anyways yknow the roach guys said the infestation was REALLY bad and they wanted to do a follow up#but idk when that follow up is cuz it’s been a month since the extermination and there has been 0 difference. as soon as we came back to the#apartment there were still roaches on the walls#like man what am I supposed to do they’re everywhere and it would be so hard to move out 😭#vent#<- figure I’ll add that cuz like. that’s what this is. my life is just not great rn. constantly hungry too cuz we struggle with groceries#and I’m too scared to make myself some food cuz of the obscene amount of roaches. there was a roach in the dinner last night. then my mom#invited us to dinner at her place and refused to get us dinner.#said she wanted to hang out and didn’t talk to me so wtf#it’s just not going well. I posted happily about how I got those gifts but honestly I can’t even enjoy them because there’s too many roaches#like I don’t know where to put things so that roaches don’t get them. there’s no safe space.
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anakinlove · 1 year ago
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Hello Lili my love how are u
Hello!!!!
I am good!!!
How are you??
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syncrovoid-presents · 1 year ago
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I haven't slept for over 32 hours hehe /silly /I am being so silly (insomnia)
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likedbyuarmyhope · 1 year ago
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i love festa i’ve been waiting all year its my favorite thing ever and im so excited to see what they’ve been preparing for us... im in this bangtan sonyeondan shit for life
#my 6 years with bts passed exactly a month ago and i hope i'll have so many more years with them#as soon as like 2 years passed and i was still loving them more every day i realized this was something special#all of my previous fandoms had lasted for maybe a few months#to this day i havent been continuously active in any other fandom for more than like a year or so#there might be things i still like yknow like for example i got into my sports animes a little before bts and i still love them#but ive moved on from the fandoms and i dont rly keep up with news very actively or anything and i dont think about them all the time#but with bts its like every day i find new things to love about them and new ways to interpret their music#new details in their songs i'd never caught before new tidbits from old interviews i'd never seen before#every day i love them more and more and more until i think there cant possibly be any more love left in me#and then tomorrow comes and i love them even MORE!!!!#i will never act embarrassed or joke about being cringe bc i like bts i just will never do that. they have saved my life#and not only have they saved it they've directly improved it. they've made me the person i am#without them i might be in a completely different place or even a similar place but feeling so much more miserable and worried about things#i know that i am content with where i am solely because of bts' impact on my mindset and my perspective on life and living and growing up#this has turned into a love letter but yknow what its good practice for the letter im gonna write them in my journal on 6.13 <3#aeron.txt
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kate-apologist · 2 years ago
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sysig · 2 years ago
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♥!
#Title because body text is too small to encapsulate my Big Celebration#So if you've been following along the breadcrumbs of my Real Life nonsense you'll know I moved last October/November#And since then a lot of my didn't-think-at-the-time-was-that-necessary-but-actually-turned-out-to-be-pretty-frickin'-necessary Stuff#Has been back away. Yes for six months. No I'm not happy about it either but literally what am I supposed to do about it lol#And one of those things was my hammock! My bed! My reading spot! My favourite place!#Well tied for my favourite place with my rocking chair but splitting hairs really lol#And we just straight up couldn't find it - found the base! But not the cloth-and-rope part the actual hammock bit#So we bit the bullet and just bought a new one - the old one had been fraying and snapping like mad anyway so it was time#And it finally - Finally! Arrived today ouq#It feels amaaaazzzzinnnnggggg ahhhhhhhh#I really want to draw my excitement but that would require leaving it - yes I am typing this while reclined and rocking it's delightful#And the airflow! Ah!!#The only problem(s) now are well a) I never want to leave it again lol b) it's rather large#And part of the reason we couldn't locate my Various Items was because I don't have a room yet - nowhere to put it#So it's just kinda....in the way lol#And then c).....my employer asked for a night shift. Tonight. And tomorrow. Out. So I can't sleep in my hammock :') Until Sunday#So :'D#But!!! OTHER THAN THAT!!!! Lol#Most importantly going forward I have my reading spot back ahhhhhhhh AHHHHHH#I'm gonna read so much!! I have so many reading plans!!!!!!#HAMMOCK!! AHH!!#Update: She called off ahhhhhhHHHHHH
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