#dreaming of moving out hard
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the way sharing a home with no real corridors, with not a single room Just For You, where you can sit in all day without SOMEONE coming in, will litterally drive you to insanity
#its me im in this situation#last year it was a-okay still to live at home like this but....#this year im really having enough of Everything#like eighteen is right around the corner and i am Fed Up™#i cannot stand Not Having My Own Room all my life#(and the other half of the room agrees)#and like hearing almost everything thats happening in the house because of little distance between them#its almost like living in an apartment but it has two more floors with other stuff. and a big cool garden#which is a plus#but you know#i would really reeeaaallly love to have some privacy in my own everyday living place...#and im not just talking about my own room here#dreaming of moving out hard#dreaming of moving accross the fucking country so my bitchass smothering parents cant spontaneously enter my room just to enter it#and expect me or my sister to entertain them with small talk or conversation about what we were doing that day#when NETHER of us have energy or TIME to spare because school is ruthlessly all consuming as a 10 month activity#yknow what i mean.#id love to be by myself or with a friend or two in a completely new place#just living.#on my own terms#vent#rant#miesozernacma
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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mustard on the beat, ho- MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAARD Someone make it stop, make it fucking stop. I spent all week hyping myself up to gather up all my work sketches like a scrapbook and clean it all up to post here, and then Kendrick had to surprise drop on a Friday morning and ruin my work day and my headspace all weekend long.
Anyway, here's a dangerous dreams sketch dump.
It's been a long quiet, but RL had taken such a fucking toll that I had a real hard time finding the fucks to get creative. Who knows how much this past US presidential election will fuck up the entire rest of my life, but I'll take solace in finding community and in the little things and in Andor Season 2 and in the telling of The Stars.
Now that I got this out of the way, guess it's time to go fucking write some fucking words.
#shirozora draws#dinluke#lukedin#skydalorian#din djarin#luke skywalker#grogu#story: the stars#series: dangerous dreams#the mandalorian#star wars#how many more tags do i need?#anyway MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD#istg this album has just taken over my entire brain#random snippets of every single song from this album keep playing in my head when i'm not actively listening#interrupted by MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD#i'm gonna laugh so hard if he screams mustard's name during the super bowl half-time show#and then 'mustard on the beat ho'#and let the audience sing all the words he probably had to censor out himself#also set up a second freshwater tank to eventually house a betta along with the shrimp culls so that's also been my life#and also locked down my twitter account and moved to bsky#been reposting art to bsky since i took everything down over in melon husks' echo chamber#keep your AI off my doodles you apartheiding fuckhead#time to climb back into this sandbox and work on the next chapter
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Yet another Owl House drawing I never finished (of which there are many lol)
It was a dual redraw of/homage to my first ever fanart from the day the pilot episode aired (below the cut), but this time done right after the show ended and with Eda's updated look! Though I lost steam fast I kinda like it this way lol, one of those things that probably would have lost its energy if I tried to line it yknow
#the owl house#eda clawthorne#edalyn clawthorne#toh#eda the owl lady#fanart#watching and dreaming#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers#redraw#kinda#dana terrace actually retweeted my old one when i first did it :)#was preddy cool#i have been in a state of wanting to draw but not having the energy to for like. weeks lol#so might as well just bring out some stuff from the proverbial disney vault (my computer hard drive)#love that her staff is 100% behind her in the original from 2020#girl is sitting on thin air#shes doing that gymnastics move they do on the pommel horse
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Todays the day. I need to get a job, even if that jobs not in the gaming industry. So I’m heading to the library to print up a resume and apply at a little local chain of mattress stores.
The guy instantly liked me when I went in to do a secret shop for a competing store and offered to hire me on the spot so I figure if I can chat with him he’ll still like me enough to consider me.
#ramblies#I’m dreading this so much I had dreams about getting hired by dropout tv instead#also my beloved was very sweet and when I said this was hard reassured me that I can do hard things#I wish I could wait for an industry job but it’s just not feasible#because we desperately need to move my beloved out of our current carpeted home#and moving costs are no joke#I’ll also need to get myself a laptop so I can keep honing rigging skills at the mattress job which I’m dreading#I have little to know idea how much I’ll need to invest to get a machine that can run Maya like a champ#which I’ll also need to buy an indie Maya license#god life is stressful and expensive#I long to be a little renaissance artist kept in a garret making what I please on the funds of patrons#alas
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 17
#dimension 20 spoilers#dimension 20#d20 introductions#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#MAN what a ride#almost missed that ruben had a new intro card variant too. god bless the transcript search#that large ankarna was art scrolling on screen that i couldn't get in one go‚ so i put a few screencaps together to make that one#of which you can definitely see the lines of because it was actively glowing and moving which was VERY cool but hard to catch smoothly#i think if cait may posts the full Clean shot of ankarna themself i'll reblog that one too for posterity#(this one is also very off center because i had a corner of blank left over because i had to shift one of them to the side#because she was moved just a little bit to the side too#also MANNNNN that scene with bucky and kristen that was so sweet...... i'm really glad she's finally got the time to talk with him#he really needed it#GORGEOUS art this episode..... and oh god this next one is going to have me SO stressed#A BLUE DRAGON ATTACKING THE SHIP?? ALL THE VOTES NEEDING TO BE AT THE SCHOOL BY MIDNIGHT?????#lord HELP me#things are not going to go well i can feel it.#also sad that oisin might turn out to be a Very Not Good guy after all 😭#listen a dragonborn enjoyer can dream#also INSANE. INSANE THAT THE BAD GUY THIS WHOLE TIME WAS#i shan't say. but good GOD i can't believe it#shout out to notoriousmasc who got it right away like WEEKS ago
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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sheet for kian
victor's sheet
#oc: kian micelli#ts4#I feel the need to bring out some backstory#Kian leaves his house early because he planned to start a career in a big city and he worked hard to make that happen.#He got a position where he may be promoted after getting a degree and achieving his dream job#but he didn't enjoy it as much as he was expecting which broke him#He returned home and soon discovered that he supposed to stay there#Victor however would work in his parents' business for the rest of his life but he found it difficult to adapt to adulthood#He dropped out of college moved out with his parents and is now attempting to figure out his future steps#and they first met at this point#Kian gave himself time to work with his parents all summer before beginning looking for a job#Victor wants to begin a new life.#Before Victor’s family lived there but after several problems that include his brother they left#and now that he’s returned rumors about his family keep being spread so he needs to find a strength#oc stuff#my sims
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as I am replaying origins -- a game which, to be clear, I love very VERY much -- I can't help but feel that people do don the rose coloured glasses on it a bit specifically when it comes to the range of dialogue options you're actually given to work with at any given time (something I've seen my fair share of silent vs. voiced protagonist discourse about over the years *smokes tired cigarette in survivor of a decade of DA tumblr*). like... there are a couple of situations where you're given a decent range of responses, but the vast majority of the time you have about three dialogue options, and often they're presented sort of like 'polite/bland/unprovoked near-cartoonish levels of assholery'. arranged like, y'know:
I am [BLANK]. It's an honor to make your acquaintance.
You can call me [BLANK].
How dare you speak to me. Fuck you and your family back five generations. I'm going to rob your mother's grave before your eyes.
(sometimes if you're real lucky you get the secret extra 'Something else/I'm bald/but I'm a dwarf!' option)
I'm not at all saying it's worse in that aspect than the other games (Dalish Inquisitor 'Who's Mythal' just entered the chat), but I do think it's worth considering that this might be a bit of a franchise original sin that has been present since the beginning, as indeed it is in most rpgs because making rpgs is real hard, and you notice it more with the dialogue wheel format than when the responses and questions you can ask are all laid out in a list together
#sometimes you also have 'sane and relatively polite' and then two different flavours of cartoonish assholery haha#or 'three barely rephrased versions of the same sentiment'. listen. It's hard to make a game sometimes you just need to get the player#through to the next part of the conversation I understand that perfectly haha#dragon age#I personally like the clarity the dialogue wheel gives you as to what is a question that'll loop you back#to uh the trunk of the conversation tree as it were and what responses move the conversation along and make those unavailable#you basically just have to feel the vibe on that in origins sometimes and it stresses me out even now#(also nice to know when you've flirted with a companion it's always sad to ninjamance someone and then have to crush their dreams lol)#but I absolutely see how some people might prefer the list layout and see the whole line their character will be saying#the dialogue options you get before facing uldred especially are. fucking wild tho#I think they're trying to do a whedonesque deadpan comedy exchange with the crazy guy (which like sure it was a different time)#but especially if you're a mage and just witnessed the devastation of everyone and everything you've ever known... weird vibe!
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i think i’m gonna break up with my girlfriend :(
#not for 🦇#idk what’s happening with him that’s separate#the more ive been talking about it to my friends the more i feel like this is the right move#so ive been very mood swingy about it#i really really really love her and there’s a lot that im gonna miss but#i think we were kind of incompatible from the get go and instead of bridging that we’ve just gotten more incompatible#and there’s a lot of hurt on my side that i’m realizing i can’t let go of#and i don’t want the relationship to turn into her just constantly trying to redeem herself that’d be shitty to us both#this is gonna hit her so hard 😭 i keep crying about it i don’t wanna hurt her but i need out#if we could softly transition into friends that’d be the dream i know it’s gonna take a while if ever though :(#i just want her as a friend i love her but i don’t think i can handle being with her as a partner anymore
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Tour bus design for @kaleidoscopek9 ‘s punk au!
close ups under cut :)
#kandidandi drew a thing#sundrop#moondrop#y/n#i picture y/n as the bus driver#BUS BUS BUS BUS#HAHAHAH THIS WAS FUN#fitting all this stuff inside a bus was hard#did 5 different sketches#i know sun and moon probably wouldnt have beds but just let me dream#y/n probably have a mini fridge in there somewhere hahahbh#i used to study architecture actually#as you can see im very out of practice#before you say ANYTHING about the band equipment being knocked around they are BOLTED down so they cant move#of course you can unbolt is and move it#lol#I DID IT THOUGH I MADE THEM FIT I JUST NEEDED TO MAKE THE BUS EXTRA TALL
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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Having to micromanage your entire physical battery day in and day out is so exhausting, especially when your ability fluctuates without rhyme or reason with every single day. I'm starting to have to reframe how I view and tackle my task lists because otherwise the grief and frustration becomes so much that I get nothing done. I'd love to complete the entire list today, but I'm gonna have to limit myself to ticking off two tasks just so I don't burn myself out to the point of being unable to do anything later...
#and even then thats no guarantee since i could feel super sick later without warning#OR maybe i feel superdupergood and can do them all no problem and THEN some#but then i also have to prepare for being bedridden after if i dont keep track of how much energy i burn#the event horizon of which ALSO changes daily lmfao#meanwhile people assume youre lucky or even privileged for this#as if being homebound for your safetys sake and spending most of the time being unable to really do anything#is anything worth envying. people assume youre resting when frankly youre just keeping your face above the water#i dont have a choice either. i gave up all my dreams and ambitions just for the sake of trying to survive for once#i WANT to have a life i WANT to have the power to be independent and not be at the mercy of others until the day i die#god sorry URGH its so hard to not feel sad and hopeless and almost bitter about this sometimes#its so hard not to feel alienated and embarrassed by the fact that you practically live in a different reality to people#people whose lives revolve around careers and working to the point where they cant comprehend you as a disabled individual#and what that means beyond the assumption that being chronically ill and overall impaired is a choice and moral failire#whether or not people are aware of that baseline assumption concretely#and i feel stupid and annoying for whining about this when i have so much to be grateful for#just. guhhhhhhhhh idfk. i SHOULD get started here but i can barely move out of bed#exhaustion is killing me i miss going on daily walks my house feels like a prison#i need to stop moping im already spiralling lmfao#trying not to close my eyes lest i pass out yet again despite having gotten more than 12 hours of sleep#cause apparently to my stupid body thats not enough to even stand up#silvi talks
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actually i'm really glad the 2.7 quest was so short and so concisely written because now maybe people will understand sunday's character better. maybe i won't have to see people theorizing he only joined the astral express to get to amphoreus so he can try to force The Order onto its unsuspecting people. again. maybe seeing him actively dismantle the lingering traces in penacony and express regret for how he let himself fall and be manipulated will help these people understand that he wants to break the cycle and change for the better. he views his fall from grace NOT as the moment he was defeated by the AE crew+robin and ena's dream fell apart, but as the moment he "let" himself be convinced that ena's path was viable in the first place. (obviously this is more complicated and he did not Let himself - like it's not really a personal moral failing. he was groomed into this position, manipulated from childhood. this does not absolve him entirely of blame or forgive his wrongdoings but he's viewing it as a personal moral failing and he's being extraordinarily hard on himself and isn't exactly taking the whole GROOMING thing into the equation it's all a reflection of his own weaknesses and flaws and if he was just stronger, better, more of a person robin could trust and depend on........)
maybe now i can finally be free from the "we're still in a dream" theories. please i'm so tired. that was always a pretty piss poor theory for multiple reasons and while hyv is shit at writing they're not THAT shit. and it stopped being plausible the second we got the wardance event and yet. it did not end. can it end now PLEASE GOD. PLEASE
#all of the imagery in the 2.7 trailer and sunday's personal trailers is depicting his attempts to break the cycle and set himself free#the thorns he has to overcome are all his fears and previous worldviews. which are intertwined with ena and the order#as a result of his lifelong grooming#he wants to MOVE ON!!!! the dream is over! he may not have wanted to listen to the ae crew and firefly#but he can't not listen to robin. he understands now. the universe needs a kind loving place but not like that.#it's really not that hard. this game is not subtle. it throws a brick at you to get its themes and character arcs across#hsr fans reading with their eyes glued shut#i swear to god though if i see one more twitter thread pointing out some details like 'see we're still dreaming'#i'm causing an incident of some sort. the dream fakeout was SO detrimental to a large chunk of this fanbase's media literacy it's crazy 😭
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Ask the librarian subreddit about getting my degree online and the responses were not encouraging to put it simply😭 other reddit posts asking have better comments? It’s different everywhere I look girl I just want to be a librarian why is life so hard😭
#I’m pretty locked in on librarian path so doesn’t matter😭#I actually really would love to be one it’s just the process is hard#I have to get my masters online because the closest colleges that offer masters in library science are at least an hour away and you need#your masters to be a librarian#like not an if you need it#some programs are only a year but most are like a year and a half so likely will still be in school and at home until 2026/2027 at quickest#I don’t have to work in a library there’s lots of places that have libraries but all of them need a degree#it’s just the most realistic job path for me where I can make a living and also be sane#not amazing pay but enough to be stable after a few years#the dream would be working in a museum and I saw one person say they got their degree in library science and now work in a museum so nothing#is really set in stone yet#idk#slowly dawning on me that now I’m like an official adult like college is still like a medium but now I’m a big girl#it’s scary and I feel like every time I read anything about the job market it’s bad#literally my only goal is to be able to move out and rent a one bedroom apartment in a relatively safe town that allows pets that’s the#dream#I am happy but scared#rae’s rambles
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#ts4 legacy#ts4 storytelling#ts4#berry sweet sims#pastel rainbowcy#dream bpr#dream gen 3#topaz shine#I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS SO HERES A RUNDOWN OF ALL THE PICS#starting from bottom right:#her and citrine when they were growing up in evergreen harbor#one of the fountains near her college campus (she loves water lilies)#a pic of her at granite falls taken during vacation with her parents#a pic of her and an ex college boyfriend that she can't bring herself to delete#a pic of her and a friend during gameday#a visit with her sister at the evergreen harbor cemetery#a pic of topaz and some friends going out on the town (a pub crawl in britechester lmao)#obligatory grad pic#a picture of the windenburg countryside she took when she moved back after graduation#her insta handle is shinytopaz4evr because she created her account when she was 14#but she's too nostalgic to change it#we'll find out more about her life during the time skip soon dw
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