#but i want to save that for a personal project
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Advice for a Long Fic
Someone asked me recently for advice about writing a long fic, and I started making a list before realizing this was probably a post rather than a message.
I know I've said most of this before, and none of it is new advice. As with any advice, take what you think will serve you and leave what you think will not. Everyone's process is different.
-*-
Start a new folder in the place where you save your things. This is your new big project folder. You are going to save all the things here.
Decide whether you are going to write the whole thing and then post it, or post it as you go. There are benefits to both of these approaches. I am a post it as you go person, and I have friends who think this is the dumbest approach imaginable. It is whatever works for you and causes less anxiety.
I have a spreadsheet for all of my characters. While I didn't reference it too often while I was writing, the act of making the document helped solidify people in my mind a little. It was also nice to have in case you felt like doing an askbox game on a slow day.
Come up with a naming convention for the things in the big project folder. When your chapter is 'done' it should be switched to the naming convention. Mine was Darkening Sky - Working Chapter Title (for things that were still in progress) and Darkening Sky - 35 - Chapter Title for things that I'd finished. This helped me find things later after I'd been working for three years and would not have remembered what was in a document.
I personally like the model of doing a separate document for each chapter. This allows me to move these episodes around at will without the danger of possibly deleting a large chunk of text. This does not work for everyone! If you like one big document, use one big document.
The other reason I liked lots of little documents is that it gave me the opportunity to slot in other things that I didn't think were originally going to be chapters. When I first started working on TDS, I had a lot of flashes of ideas for different things throughout the whole story, and I wanted to get them down all at once. Some of those made it into the final story. Some did not. Some of them were written for one part of the story but got recycled into a different part. But they are all in the big document folder in case I needed them.
I also did something for TDS that I've never done for a story before - I wrote down all the different story beats and show beats on notecards and I laid them out on my floor underneath cards that had the show episodes on them. (You may have seen pictures of this.) By putting the plot points on notecards, rather than a list, I had maximum flexibility to move them throughout the story and could visualize over a larger space where the story was going. This also allowed the story and the characters to go places I did not think they would go.
Give yourself grace and time. It will not all happen overnight. It does not need to all happen overnight. The people who are expecting it to all happen overnight are not the people you need in your life.
Having said that, a schedule can be a wonderful and valuable thing. I was trying to post a chapter every two weeks during the pandemic, and then when work picked up again I scaled that back to once a month. The schedule was not for the readers. The schedule was for me. Having something to keep myself accountable was helpful to me to prevent burnout (a chapter a day, no thank you) but keep myself moving forward.
I am going to say something provocative here: There is Writing the Fic, and there is Doing Fandom On The Fic. Doing Fandom On The Fic is the "New chapter coming soon!!!" sorts of things. I would be very cautious about feeling like you need to do the second thing. Work on it first. When it is done, it will promote itself. (If you have already created the Doing Fandom thing as a part of your creative process - great! share that! But don't go out of your way to Make Something Just To Have Something.) There is a time and place for the second thing, and it fills a specific need, but there is a different and I would argue more effective way to do that, which is -
Find a Pit Crew. This is an endurance race, not a sprint, which means at some point you are going to look at what you have on the page and you're going to want someone to tell you that you are doing a good job. You're going to need someone to change your tires and change your oil and talk to you at ten o'clock at night when you want to rip everything up. This is not a big public server - this is one or two trusted friends who will listen to your bonkers AUs and what your characters ate for breakfast. Create a server for you and those two people and go have fun. If no one else shows up to this party, you and those two people are still having a great time, and that is what counts.
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ukraine aid post
I'm not able to fully express how furious and how saddened I am by all that has happened with regard to Ukraine this week. I will choose only to say that I wish an enormous transformative change of heart in everyone who this week chose cruelty and bullying to people barely surviving instead of offering security and allyship.
This war began in 2014 as Russia began occupying Crimea and the Donbas and disregarded Ukrainians' right to make decisions for themselves, just as Russia has disregarded the sovereignty of other nations in Putin's expansionist, maximalist goals to make something of a new Russian empire; the full-scale invasion began in 2022, and immediately started doing an encyclopedia's worth of war crimes. Russia-favoring corruption drained Ukraine of the funds it needed to defend itself and so this war has been fought largely on crowdfunding and aid. Just imagine, having to protect your home and right to make decisions for your country based on on a GoFundMe.
I know people working in the Ukraine security space and so a lot of requests for help come through my inbox, and I'm going to share some of what I've received. For the more direct requests for aid, they have been verified by someone I know who is not just an online activist but working with Ukrainians, and I can probably get you connected with them if you need that and want to reach out to me.
Razom - Obviously, this is probably the most well-known org and I regularly donate to them. Razom initiates short and long-term projects, or collaborates on existing projects with partner organizations, which help Ukraine stay on the path of fostering democracy and prosperity. I personally believe that strong institutions are overwhelmingly critical in ensuring that people don't fall through the cracks and that predatory organizations don't take advantage of power vacuums, and Ukraine will need to rebuilt its capacity to have a society once the war ends, along with delivering immediate medical and tactical items now.
Global Response Medicine - GRM travels anywhere in the world providing emergency medical care for people displaced by conflict or disaster. GRM is currently raising funds to kick off the Invisible Wounds program in Ukraine to support those with PTSD and TBIs. (If you have larger-scale resources to get involved with this initiative, I can probably put you in touch with the executive director.)
Insulate Ukraine - Since the full-scale invasion, millions of windows have been shattered by bomb blasts. During winter, temperatures can plummet to -20C or below, putting people's lives at risk. Thousands of Ukrainians remain in frontline towns with nowhere else to go. Insulate Ukraine has developed an innovative and affordable solution to the urgent need for warmth: a $20 triple-layer shatterproof window made from polyethylene. The organization helps those most in need: low-income families, the elderly, and disabled.
Dzyga's Paw - A well-known charity that buys Starlinks, drones, and de-mining equipment for front-line defenders. I think my friend can get individual messages of support to some of the defenders if you feel motivated to do so.
Ukraine's Women's Battalion - Not a battalion but a group that works to support and fundraise for the military as well as provide things like care packages.
PDMSh - For a decade, The Pirogov First Volunteer Mobile Hospital (PDMSh) volunteers have been rescuing and treating wounded on the front lines. Hundreds of PDMSh volunteer medics have cared for and saved thousands of military and civilian lives.
Dignitas - Dignitas has several initiatives supporting Ukrainian fighting and post-war development. They currently are focused a lot on raising money to build drones, which are highly needed for surveillance to find out where civilians and injured combatants may be.
Protez Foundation - Provides prosthetics for those who lose limbs.
Weatherman Foundation - Provide medical transportation and supplies to Ukrainians, repatriation of those KIA, support for orphans and elderly.
Superhumans Center - Rehabilitation for Ukrainians suffering major injury.
Prevail Together - They do the very importnat work of bomb disposal. They also do trauma care and humanitarian aid.
Osprey Relief Foundation - A US veteran-led, global disaster relief, and medical & humanitarian aid non-profit organization. Their mobile "Train the Trainer" course is focused on Search and Rescue operations and lifesaving capabilities in support of civilians on the battlefield.
Liberty Ukraine - Direct donation to Ukraine projects; currently quadcopters, evacuation vehicles, generators, children's hospital renovations, thermal clothing production, therapy camp for children of killed soldiers. *This org has no salaried employees and 100% of funds go to projects
Ukraine Front Line - Currently raising money for lifesaving medical aid in the form of Hyfin vent chest seals that are immediate needs for people with penetrative chest wounds.
Invictus Global Response - Working in conflict zones around the world, their mission is focused on the clearance of landmines and explosives, teaching civilians to identify explosive risks, and providing capacity-building support in the areas of mine action, stockpile reduction, and humanitarian assistance. Our vision is to empower local organizations, partner forces, and affected communities through impactful, cost-effective, and sustainable support.
Ukraine Front Line - President of this org, Robin, highlights needs that have no social media presence. Looks like they're taking individual donations right now for tourniquets, hospital care packages, first aid supplies, and more.
Protect a Volunteer - Get signed up to directly connect with a volunteer fighter through a donor matching platform. I personally know someone who is connected and donates though this partnership.
Safe Passage 4 Ukraine - Assists people in gaining safe passage in, around, and out of Ukraine. This war has turned millions of people into refugees both inside of and outside of their country. Many of them have complex medical needs. Safe Passage ensures transportation, lodging, and other needs as they leave for safety.
Other things:
Friend of a friend of a friend - Eddy, a volunteer fighter, got hit by drones while doing a civilian evacuation January 2025 and lost an arm and a leg, donation page and his instagram via reddit
Ukrainian artists to support: RainbowOnThePipe Lebid Ceramics
A note for those, like me, who hate war and will work as much as possible to use every other pathway to avoid it:
Look, I know some of you are not comfortable directly supporting front-line warfighters, and there are a lot of orgs up there where you don't have to do that. But I would beg you to consider that sometimes you don't have a choice when war comes to you, and more than that, when it comes to you from a country that does not believe your society should exist, that everyone with your culture should be destroyed and forgotten. Every success Putin wins, in 2008 in Georgia, in 2015 in Syria, in 2014 in Ukraine, even in the 90s in Chechnya, persuades his ruling gang that they can opportunistically keep conquering. If they are not stopped in Ukraine, they will look at more of Europe, more of the Caucasus, more of central Asia. Hell, even Alaska was part of the Russian Empire at one time. They will keep sending their mercenary groups to disrupt peace and self-determination in African nations. They will keep trying to disrupt democracy in every country that doesn't give them what they want. They are bullies, and the people of Russia deserve better leaders than ones that will send 800,000 of them to be killed or injured and then consider that not to be not that much of a loss.
Sometimes the price of ensuring human security is working with military organizations. I wish that it were not. But I don't value abstaining from that reality and keeping my hands perfectly spotless if it comes at the cost of denying rescue to civilians in a highly populated war zone they could never have consented to live in.
Please help.
#ukraine#support for ukraine#Україна#aid post#crowdfunding#mutual aid#god there's just so much shit i can't un-know from this conflict and i'm not even living in it
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Y'know I kind of feel like when Megatron killed Tarn and said 'I want you to spend your final moments thinking of this: that everything you've done has been for nothing' he was kind of self-projecting onto Tarn? Mainly because at Megatron's statue, M and T had a conversation where Tarn explicitly asked if all the Decepticons in service to Megatron died for nothing, if HE did everything he did for nothing. (And I think M even gave an answer along the lines of 'idk I think we basically did'). And then after Megatron killed the DJD and Rodimus teleported in to rescue him, there was that silent moment where Megatron just stared at Rodimus not moving at all before he finally took his hand at the last moment.
It honestly feels to me like for a while, Megatron fully intended to murder-suicide himself. Murder the DJD, his monsters and his creation, and then take himself out alongside them, because he is also a monster. Because he also feels that everything he's ever done has been for nothing.
Goddamn it's no wonder I liked that scene so much LMAO, as someone who thinks villain Megatron > Autobot Megatron, literally one of his key traits is that Megatron basically took his pain/trauma/worldview and used it to lash out at the universe and try to subjugate it to his vision. So the fact that he took his own pain and brutally murdered the DJD while telling them the very same thing that puts him through so much agony is so very deliciously ironic. And a return, however brief, to the Megatron characterization that I know and love.
#squiggposting#i also feel like it turns his asshole behavior towards tarn into something more understandable#like... he is not just condemning tarn and co for being evil useless bastards#as if he has the moral high ground. no. megatron also thinks his whole life was wasted#for a moment he fully intended to kill all of the DJD and then himself. a circle of monsters#who all exist for no good reason and did horrible things for no good reason#only rodimus coming in is what saved megatron both literally and in a spiritual sense#from believing he deserved to just die in the same hellish pit he killed his creations in#THIS IS LIKE SOME FUCKING METAL ASS BIBLICAL SHIT I'M TELLING YOU#tbh if megatron had actually died in there with tarn and the djd i wouldve considered that#a more satisfying end to his story than what we got#particularly bc i think the functionist universe is stupid and LL 25 felt like. contrived#in how it dealt with Megatron's fate#anyways the TLDR is that megatron was an asshole to tarn as if he didnt make him how he was#but like during that one moment i think he was in a pit of self loathing#and he wanted to drag the djd. tarn in particular. along with him for ruining his happiness#i'm sorry but that's who megatron is#if your megatron isn't an intensely angry/damaged person who drags ppl down with him#bc of his own projection and self loathing then like. who is he#enough soft grandpa mtmte megatron i love violent unresolvable self hatred and lashing out megs
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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One day
One day I hope people realize that Kitsunami already "broke through his programming" back by issue #56 of Idw Sonic
He had an entire mini arc where he dealt with being without Surge for the first time, and in the real world. He met Sonic and his friends directly, tried to work out what his purpose would be without Surge in his life (gave it a shot trying to devote himself to Sonic, seeing him as the next best thing after Surge). And when it was all said and done, he decided after experiencing more that at Surge's side is where he wanted to be.
As of the recent IDW issues, Kit isn't sticking with Surge "because of programming" and "because he just needs for other characters to friend him and turn him into a better person". He is at her side because he wants to be. He protects her and aids her because he cares about her, not just because he's serving the strongest guy in the room. And he's not interacting with others because he's decided not to give a shit about anyone else other than Surge (because from his pov, even the "good guys" are fake. From his pov, everyone is someone trying to lie and manipulate their way into pulling him and Surge to their side)
Kit already has decided what he wants to do with his life. And he decided it on his own. Not because of anyone else's wants or wishes. That's the whole point of his speech at the end of #56.


He's burying whatever his and Surge's past is and moving forward with his conviction to be with Surge because it's what he wants.
#sonic the hedgehog#idw sonic comics#perverted bond#surge the tenrec#kit the fennec#kitsunami the fennec#idw sonic issue 56#to be honest I actually despise the fandom's overuse of 'Starline's programming'#because they treat Surge and Kit as people whose entire selves have been dominated and controlled by a set of code that makes them as robots#Essentially they treat Starline's hypnotism and 'coding' as a strict set of rules that's hard af to break#When the truth is that they're more of a set of heavy suggestions and guidelines to fall back on when they have nothing else to return to or#nothing else to compare to their own experiences#You can visually see in the comic as they ''diverge from their programming'' simply because it clashes with their personal wants/feelings#(For instance‚ how after actually meeting Surge in Imposter Syndrome‚ he is never again the dutiful fox that would do anything she asked#ever and the happiest he could be about handing his life to her on a silver platter no matter how she treats him. rather‚ he falls back on#serving her because he has no other purpose to fall back on‚ but he performs it unenthusiastically without receiving positive reinforcement#and to the bare minimum‚ as if he's just doing his job)#This topic is a bit nuanced‚ but I think IDW is less focused on them fully 'breaking their programming' as a robot storyline might go#and more focused on them solidifying just what it is they want to do with their lives and how they live it#Many people miss that Kitsunami has had his defining moment and knows what he wants to do with his life now because they don't think it's#possible for him to live a future he wants/needs unless he 100% rejects everything Starline did to him and Surge and chooses a purpose#completely separated from any 'programming'#And I'm sorry but I think some of you need to ask if a future as a good boy fox hero who gets entirely new friends and family outside of#Surge and is barely associated with her and is also just a normal sweet guy is something that he actually wants/is projected to receive#or if YOU specifically decided what's best for him. Bec#Because 'If I was in his position obviously I would want X' or 'If he was my kid I would want him to become like X for the sake of his own#happiness'#It's fine if that's your headcanon or your au and you own it. But recognize that this current Kit likes who he is and he knows what he wants#to be. He's a smart fox‚ and he doesn't need anyone out there to pledge to save him and fix him. He doesn't want fixing. He wants to spend#the rest of his days with Surge making her happy (because it makes him happy). He doesn't want for himself what everyone else wants for him.
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I need to know if I'm delusional and projecting onto random characters or if Adam and/or Steve are neurodivergent
You can project whatever you want on them, and I don't know that it's "canon" so to speak but I write them with neurodivergent intent in mind just based on my own life experiences!
so I'm projecting on them too, but it's up for debate whether that's coming across in the text.
Adam is autistic and Steve has ADHD. To Me.
#I think adam autism is wayyyyy more in the text than steve ADHD#adam who has. been to therapy.#and whose mom. is a psych#thats not in canon but it's how I'm writing him#he feels like someone whose mom was psychoanalyzing him in a gentle way his whole life you know what I mean.#like. ok maybe I'm being ridiculous but its in there I swear#steve on the other hand extremely untreated ADHD and also no way of knowing he has it and also doesnt need to focus much so you cant tell#but. as much as it could be in there for his situation I think its in there#anyways this is just word of god I guess. well maybe adam autism is like fair at this point to read and consider relatively canon#dodsent madder#I'm wary of what I say is actually canon#especially when it comes to neirodivergency!#which is sooo extremely personal and SOOOO varied#but like them being trans. thats canon#and when people are like hmmm idk I dont think its in there#I'm like LEARN TO THINK CRITICALLY...#'your family wouldnt recognize you as a man and you said you were glad for it'#'the man who chose and who told me I was allowed not to'#'are you my boyfriend?' 'I prefer partner.'#like be serious. thats canon#sorry it pisses me OFFF!!!!!!#not like super duper its like fine HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA#anyways okay. yeah adam is autistic and steve has ADHD#uh.......#also personally choose not to use the word delusional and to save it for medical discussions but your words are your choice#asks#autisticfridge#just like to make my choices clear as often as I can#ok bye love you. project whatever the hell you want on my ocs#I made them and put them out there and I get to do 100% of what I want with them
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who should I use as the model for a delicate petal + animal themed outfit (think bows, soft browns and pinks, mochi, cute and elegant)? this is for the outfit contest btw

edit: added my draft so people have a reference for picking since it’s far enough it’ll work as reference lol
its a blooming sakura stag!

#prsk#pjsk#project sekai#project sekai colorful stage#proseka#tagging a lot cause i want takes#i feel like i know who itd be personality wise but im asking since im only drawing one character to save time and i cant pick#main colours for the og will b pink hreen brown cream#alts will b purple yellow and another i havent decided yet#EDIT: the final alt will be night sakura viewing so pink and dark blues!!
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Your last rb on the John Gaius post how much John is the OPPOSITE of what that reblogger implied. Because like - we rag on him for not using his magical girl powers for C--'s "Good Wizardry", but it's specifically because he *doesn't* want to rely on a new untested "technology". He tries to incorporate it into the old project, make it better, make people trust it and give him money. Slow down the people who are trying to actually do the "promising new technology" bit without proof of concept.
It's "We all came up with trials to figure out what I could do, what I couldn’t do" vs
"...they were taking one discovery and acting like it changed the whole ballgame when really we now needed ten years of funding to discover whether it was any use, i.e., academia functioning as normal."
And I think that's neat, actually.
[post for context]
Ok actually #discourse aside, I think a lot about how John WAS a scientist, and that was the approach he used in his cryo project, and that was ALSO the approach he used when he started displaying magic powers. He tried to do experiments. He tried to make up scientific terms. He tried to write papers.
And nobody would listen and then he had to cosplay a wizard on youtube.
I think about that SO MUCH. Like... I think John never had a high opinion of the "cultists." He's obviously annoyed that one of the first guys who gave them attention was a flat earther. He only started calling himself a necromancer so that people would listen. It was a last resort and personally, I think he wasn't keen on it.
Like... I think John, an educated scientist who has successfully pioneered a potentially revolutionary new technology (the cryo project, not the magic!) AND is also an indigenous man of colour, might have felt some kinda way about putting on a cape and eyeliner and recruiting a gullible cult of followers because he wasn't being taken seriously in ~intellectual circles. I know we make jokes aboout God being a twitch streamer - Taz put that in for a reason! I think it's funny, I think the cult aesthetic is fun, I think the pre-Res gang HAD fun with it, eventually. But I also think that there's a lot to unpack about John going from the lead research on a project that had serious corporate and government backing ("We cannot keep diverting three percent of the country’s electricity to your vats") to putting on a cape for the memes.
Also! You're absolutely right that the FTL fleet IS "the special technology that shows no promise." John, Mercy AND Augustine all it as hooky because it's SO new that it can scale up to what they need, if it even works as advertised. I'm very curious if / how / on which scale it was tested, and I think Augustine was right to suspect that the FTL propulsion was just an initial kick and the fleet was gonna generation-ship it and never come back.
Also speaking of people wanting an "immediate fix" - John also explicitly brings up that some of the cryo project backers nagged at him because they though an imperfect technology was good enough but the team thought the chance of damage was too high, and worked to reduce it.
Like, the whole point of the cryo project is that it worked, but it wasn't an easy fix, it required literally global cooperation, and there was no priority access for first-class passengers.
I am once again pointing a huge neon sign in John's direction that says HE ATE THE SUN!! That's plenty enough! We don't have to directly contradict canon to sue him for ethics breaches.
#chaos-has-theories#there's the 'john as elizabeth holmes' person. there's the 'they clearly STOLE those corpses' person.#there's the 'he disliked the FTL project because he was too selfish and wanted HIS name on the world saving project' discourse#have we read different books...#personally i think mindwiping his friends was the most evil villain moment <3#that actually happened and it was NASTY#ask#ejg#tlt thoughts#ntn#elle tlt posting#tlt
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The passage of time was sooo normal and kind to me this year guys qwq
#happy 2025#art summary#artists on tumblr#two of these are commisions and two are from artfight#I could not manage drawing alongside work and everything else that went awry this year qwq#yeah I made the scylla part three months ago and only manage to post anything about it now I#am so bad at this#I usually don't do new years resolutions but for this one I genuinely want to get better at promoting myself#especially since I'm out of work again#laid off like a true animator/gamer....#oh and that october mizi one is just an unfinished sketch I guess january akane having a bad time is also unfinished#never could manage to get it anywhere despite wanting to on account of the hair coming out reeeeally nice#I'm extremely proud of all my bigger pieces this year though#june and july ones hehe juri june and july#I never answered anyone on artfight and I feel so bad about it :'( participating on that was like#one of the last things I remember doing before time started passing normally again this year or well feeling better at least#and well as bad as it ended my time working was really great only routine that stuck around the whole year#and going out with my then coworkers felt really fancy and fun#I was able to save up a lot and want to use that to focus on personal projects this next year#......which is partly the reason I Need to study and practice getting better at promoing
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Been passively thinking about my Digimon pet project and realized what a nightmare it'd honestly be for the Tamer characters in the setting to just exist, due to social media rip.
I can just imagine constantly having videos and pictures of them plastered all over the internet and every soc media site and app, whenever they have to go out and do their job, not to mention the total lack of privacy and some people definitely finding out where they live and all your information and being unhinged about it. Since that's kind of the reality of things as is.
Not to mention that people would probably try to film everything on their phones or whatever, whenever there's a rogue/wild Digimon spotted, or something interesting ( read: dangerous ) is going on, with no regard for their own safety
Should probably consider giving the characters some kind of disguise or something, now that I think about it lol
#honestly that'd be such an annoying path to “fame” none of the characters would want#how do you even go out in public when everyone knows you're a tamer#like you KNOW some people wouldn't be normal about it at all#that just sounds like so much extra stress#I don't think even the fact that the characters “work” for a human-Digimon organization would help in any way#with dealing with stuff like that#how many people would BLAME the tamers for not being able to save someone despite their best attempts#or cause property damage even if they're doing their best not to#or think of them as a danger#how many civilians would die just trying to get a video or interact with a wild Digimon#not to mention other setting-related stuff like Dark Area spills and so on#god lol#personal Digimon project stuff#Digimon:Aurora#text post#digimon
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hi its me so back when wattblr was at its peak (2020), watt basically gave me a drug that made me really fuckin creative and want to do a bajillion musicals. 4 years later, warriors has now force-fed me this drug again. Welcome back to me being annoying as fuck woo here's the Izzy Original Rambly Musical Masterlist - Part 1
+ Misfits - been developing this SINCE I WAS 13 and um its Basically A Show Within A Show idea inspired by my past experiences with my former church and their Christmas musicals. TO UNDERSTAND THIS HERE IS SOME BACKSTORY: so when I was 10-13 I used to be in Christmas musicals staged by my sunday school. These musicals were Pilipino translations (the songs stayed English) of Typical American Children Christmas Musicals found on youtube (check out A Rocking Royal Christmas on YouTube yes we did a Filipino translation of that and I played the narrator when I was 11 I'm not kidding). When I was 13, I wanted to make something more resonant to the teen crowd as um to be quite honest the stuff my fellow Sunday school people were going through were Fucking Heavy and i wanted to feature that + I always knew that the Very Kiddy Musicals we set up were mainly a show for the parents and all that. I wanted a message of faith that actually resonated with my age group - and i developed it far enough that at 14, i was commisioned by my sunday school teachers to work with the church's orchestra in actually having this developed! But 15 happened and I started questioning a lot of the stuff my Sunday school and church does in terms of like politics, mental health stuff, sexuality and identity and pressuring me and my fellow teens to become something we were not, and it really felt alienating, almost as if I was simply putting on a show to appease all those that look to me and want me to be the Best of Young Christian Soldiers
So the concept of Misfits is um okay just read this ramble i wrote 3 years ago that is MUCH MORE COHERENT AND COHESIVE than the descriptions ive been whipping up for three hours now:






There is more to this like I have been developing this for 7 years now and there IS A TRACKLIST and each character has a storyline and a certain dynamic with all of the characters - like all are connected one way or another - but the basic gist is:
1.) The Narrators Put On A Show For The Religious Audience, then Start Crumbling at The Questions Presented and Prompted by The Misfits, but also Upon The Realization Of How Much Pressure They Are Under in Supporting A Narrative They Are Conditioned To Unquestionably Trust + the reveal of the secrets they hide and deny about themselves in order to seem as the Perfect Model Christian (sexuality, mental health issues, parental/pastoral pressures, abuse, psychological trauma as a result of Putting On The Show - the Time Travel element is not just there for the purposes of the show, it has a very important plot element too that connects the leader of the Narrators with the defacto leader of the Misfits) + how do they deal with these secrets being slowly revealed when They Know They Are Being Watched
2.) The Misfits Try To Navigate The Strange Musical Scenario and Why The Narrators Seem Preachy, While Also Being Forced to Address Their Pasts and Presents on why They Are Deemed "Misfits" in the First Place (outside of Christian conservatism, there exists undeniable concern for the wellbeing of the "Misfits" aka juvenile delinquency and poverty, mental health issues, and um the defacto leader being a Former Member of the Narrators wHICH WILL BECOME THE RUNNING THREAD TO THE PLOT TWIST which is why they were chosen in the first place), so basically The Misfits Are Challenged to Acknowledged that They Are Indeed Troubled (especially with carefully planted plot points and script prompts used by the Narrators to have these in the open) - but the original Producers Approved plotline has them Turn Back To God, but how can they do so if the problems they face are rooted in the current religious institutions in place? That is the question presented by the Misfits to the Narrators - which is what causes their show to fall apart
3.) Through Questioning The Mission They Were Given and the Environments That Mandate Them To Do So Despite Their Own Struggles (Narrators), and Through Questioning Themselves, Their Struggle, and The Acknowledgment That They Do Need Help (Misfits), the two groups face what I want to be the ultimate thesis question of the musical: when you grow up, where does one find hope? This is my attempt at breaking down the concept of religion because ultimately, people look to a higher figure in the dream of hope and the want for answers - thus, religion cannot ultimately be taken away from people who truly want and seek it. But we gotta deconstruct the narrative that hope is only limited to these religious institutions - and criticism must be relayed to the institutions that mandate that people serve them for the hope they supposedly provide but subsequently break because of prejudice, conservatism, and close-mindedness towards the people the Bible says to serve above all.
So yea the thesis slogan is basically: grow as you go, redefine your mission, and break the script if needed be.
Also it's pop rock, very inspired by SPRING AWAKENING, we are the tigers, and a dash or rent. The songs are English when They Are Part of the Producer's script, and Tagalog when They Are Not Part of the Script (like the characters being honest or unexpected rebuttals to the narrators' preaching moments or when the narrators themselves reveal their secrets). Otherwise, dialogue is taglish YAY
#warning: THIS IS VERY FUCKING LONG#that i had to make the text tiny#it was supposed to be longer likE I HAD THE CHARACTERS' BIOGRAPHIES ALL TYPED OUT#bUT FUCK IT DIDNT SAVE FUUUUCK#anyways thats okay#that'll be for fucking next time i suppose even if i just SPENT AN HOUR WRITING THEM KFJSNVJSJ AAAAA#but anyways here we go yhis is Izzy Project 1#even tho i am more keen on producing Patron rn#i still wanna complete this because like fuck ive been sitting on this one for 7 years now#like for my thirteen year old self's sake i really wanna accomplish this#also this is like i dunno#the 7th complere redraft of misfits like there have been sSO many changes as i grow#i'll probably have to like put a stop to the narrative changes soon because like#i wanna keep the youthfulness of it all#like Patron is very much mature and like political and shiy#i wanna keep how like genuinely confused the spirit is here with Misfits cause that is entirely the point here#its a story of kids figuring shit out#and they dont get it all figured out and thats okay!#all they know is that they wanna break out of the script imposed on them#and find their way from there#ANYWAYS THATS PROJECT 1#next is Patron which will um#take a while#personal shit#izzy's projects#AYAN PARA HINDI MAWALA#also there are so many additional themes that i wANTED TO ADD THROUGH THE TYPED OUT BIOGRAPHIES PERO WALA THEY WERENT SAVED#like the theme of forgiving oneself before anything else and finding hope within and beyond religious faith#Crumbling beneath the pressures of following a predetermined script that does not befit you at all#i HAD SO MUCH TO SAY IF ONLY THE FUCKING BIOGRAPHIES I TYPED OUT WERE FUCKING SAVED
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doodle dump
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp agent#lobotomy corp oc#pretty sure i have more i missed. just doodling since i cant get myself to make more than bare minimum effort rn#ocs as well so i dont need to think abt how to properly portray another. considering i literally made them up#personality wise anyways. took some creative liberties when it comes to actual gear and random generated agents anyways#maybe ill actually ramble abt them on the sideblog. Eden and Eliza mirrors to one another and picking specific aspects of humanity to cling#to. Eden deciding the subconscious and concepts of humanity brought to life is more ideal that humans themself. the more one loves of human#ity the less one begins to love of humans. Eliza becoming subservient and wanting to activly love humans and her kin even when they hold no#love for her in turn. Both needing to be rewarded or feel rewarded for their dedication. Idealizing each side. the idea of everyone is capa#ble of good and thus should be forgiven and unquestionable love and loyalty. Eden viewing people as senselessly killing oneanother in furth#er elaborate ways and rejects the idea of people all together and finds solance in the Concept than the Living#Angelina and Ryn with how one views time and survival. One hyperfocused on surviving of the current day and neglecting their own very self-#and desires while the other only looks towards the future and idealizes to the point where they dont even see the today. delusion to claw#through reality. Safety team w Brook Eliza Evgeni and Katya is a little harder to explain but the main concept with them as a Group being a#a jab at the happy workplace family that gets along. nuh uh#i guess another idea that is weaved into them is 'survival' and how one sees they can be fit to live or find a meaning to live. and the con#tradictions that arise from anothers perspective and how people 'ought to live'. a clash of either accepting or denying anothers way of#how one should survive. and the projection of a way to live. of 'i view this to be right and thus i will have you do this thing' saving an#aspect or person that they can see themself in to then essentally save themself.#will i be able to handle such ideas with finesse? likely not i dont have faith in myself to properly encapsulate such topics to a perfect#enough degree but it is interesting to explore
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y'all i've been upset about nanowrimo's shenanigans since last year, when kids weren't safe, and now there's this AI shitshow, and i want to cry about it again, because nano has been SO IMPORTANT to me since 2008--it helped me hack my writing process and make a bunch of cool shit, and i've written so many stories i love using it as a jumping off point. but. we gotta protect kids, and we gotta get the fuck out of here with AI bullshit.
so. the decision i have come to is that i will still be participating in nano. but now it stands for "now a's [that's me] novel writing month." i'm still going to write a book in november, and i'm still going to shoot for the 1,667 words/day (even though my finished projects wind up way longer than that, invariably), because i've structured my creative life around this routine, but i won't be using their site any more.
i will also not be tagging my november project posts as nanowrimo, but i WILL still be tagging them as "nano[YEAR]" (because that's been my tagging system for untitled projects for uh. years.). and it's now a's novel writing month :)
#text#personal#nanowrimo#nano2024#as soon as i can get my feelings together i'm going to go delete my account :(#i want to save my data from it though so i have to figure out How To Do That#that's like. that's my writing history. for over a decade.#well. one month's worth anyway.#i love the graphs i love the word counter i love the Record#i love that it did it for me so i didn't have to make it special for myself#a friend already did a little excel graph that accomplishes most of the same stuff so i'll use something like that#i've been counting offline for years anyway#i just. ouch.#literally the project i'm revising now was a nano seven years ago#so many of them have been#protect kids like DON'T SET THEM UP TO BE GROOMED HOLY FUCK#not protect kids like coddle and restrict access#protect kids like don't put people in positions of power who can't be trusted with it (like make sure the space is FOR TEENS)#anyway i'm tired and upset and i need to figure out what to do about this haunted house book#i wanted to get words out here before i continued to post about my writing projects just so i have sometime to point to about it#“hi here's my stance kthxbye”#admin
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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does brady ever feel guilty for bringing anna to typhon. does it keep him awake at night
#did he know he was going to make her spend the rest of her lifetime on typhon?? surely he did#unless he thought she was going to stay on a temporary basis bc of her nonstandard profile#only for hr to be like no no. no one leaves typhon are you fucking insane#i want to believe anna's life on earth was going downhill when speaker approached her with a job offer#still! the loss of bodily autonomy. the shared blame for the failure of a project that got hundreds killed.#the fall from grace and winding up in argos.#and knowing all along that back in halcyon the 'child' she was tasked with rearing is all alone#still lashing out and in pain and it's too late to save it now. it was always too late#did anna ever resent brady for bringing her to typhon or was leaving her own personal hell on earth worth it#everything went to shit in the worst possible way but at least we still have each other. i'm so glad i got to meet you. i love you#.txt#kam drawing anna's ass got me Pondering
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now that i've finished my fist original novel (plus the additional material like the epilogue and the male co-protagonist's letter to the main character, which is a dive into his - very troubled - psyche* and a sign of his atonement...), it'll be difficult to leave it all behind ngl. i grew so fond of the characters, the themes i tried (and probably failed) to explore... i'm going to miss them. thankfully i have other projects to focus on, but still - it'll be hard to turn the page once and for all.
#*as massimo troisi said tiene n'orchestra 'n cap but fr#i have my batb retelling to console me#and i'm also planning another og work - a gothic ghost story with a haunted mansion and themes of mental illness and feminism#which is much more personal than my previous works as you can imagine#though i always put something of myself inside everything i write#anyway unsung (that's the name of this first book) was a very emotionally draining project#(it's about some serious sensitive stuff. which is why i don't want to publish it or make money out of it)#so in a way it's a relief to have it finished it... but still. it's a story that ironically saved me in what's probably been#my darkest days yet#so... yeah i'm going to miss writing about it. tho it's satisfying to have completed it of course#writing life#val speaks#txt
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