#but i just woke up now and it’s 1 am…

[dyingswanpavlova]

Happier than ever

Part 1

Pairing: Nam-gyu × Reader × The Salesman

Warnings: Drug Usage, Overdose, Death, Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Manipulation, Suicide, Mentions of Sexual Activities, Mentions of Rape, Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Anger Issues, Depression, Long Backstory, Minors do not interact!

Nam-gyu and you were a couple for the last eight years. But after you decide you had enough of his anger issues, you leave him and try to be happy on your own. Oh, how naïve you are.

Author's note: Okay, everyone.😩 I know you're waiting for the next part of "Your girl" and trust me, I am, too! I'm sorry that I haven't come up with it yet, but I needed to get my mind off of it for a moment, because I don't want to just write anything and publish it like that - the story means too much to me. I can't publish it unless I'm happy with it, but I promise you, I'm working on it. Until then, I started to furiously hit the key board and this happened. Whatever this is, it is Part 1 of it and I'm doing a Part 2, I just don't know when yet. I love you! 🤍 Lana

Loving Nam-gyu wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world.

In fact, it was almost impossible on most days.

But there was a part of you, a thing, a quiet voice – something that needed to be reassured, that felt like maybe you were the problem.

There had been good days, hadn’t there? Your birthday and the way he woke you up with pancakes every year. Of course they turned out horrible and were barely edible. They were raw on the inside and somehow, he still managed to burn them. But he made them for you. The memory still made you smile, despite everything.

Then there was the day you had your big ballet performance. You had spent so many months rehearsing, trying to be perfect. You went all Natalie Portman on that performance. Since the moment you’d been told you got to play Odette, you were fire and flame, spending every waking moment trying to be everything you pictured in your head. It was hard, very hard even. But you had the great hope that, if maybe you did well enough, they would come.

Your family would come and watch. They’d finally show you that they did indeed love you, that you weren’t just a burden or an accident. They would come and they would be proud of you. Your father would set his work phone down, your mother her pills. They would be there. For you.

But of course, they didn’t. You should have known better. It was your own fault, hoping and praying for something that was never going to happen. You should have known.

And still, the moment the curtain lifted and you glanced along the rows and rows of people, you felt disappointed. But you didn’t feel disappointed like normal people would, no. It was you after all. You felt devastated. You felt all of your creativity leave your mind. Your body slowly forgot the choreography. Your eyes glistened with tears. And your life was over.

You had your own issues. He had his anger. You had your world endings.

That was until the door flew open after everyone was already seated, waiting for the show to begin. A few heads turned and your gaze quickly flashed towards the now open door, revealing the face of the mysterious newcomer. He was out of breath and his hair was a mess, his cheeks glowing red and the look in his eyes pleading.

It was Nam-gyu.

You had just had the greatest argument of your life so far, throwing around dishes and screaming your lungs out at each other. Not even twelve hours had passed since then, so you were more than sure that he wouldn’t come. After all, he was the least reliable person you knew, alongside your family. And that fight had been particularly bad. You actually didn’t expect to ever see him again.

But there he was, his appearance disheveled and his eyes pleading with you. Pleading with you to forgive him, pleading with you to dance.

Dance.

You remembered the way you felt. The way your disappointment suddenly turned into something different, something hopeful and warm.

Something good.

He was good.

He was yours.

And you were his.

In that moment, there was nothing else. Everything around you faded into a dark cloud and all you could focus on was him and the way he stood in the middle of the audience, staring up at you. The world was quiet and everything smelled like flowers. The perfection you were striving for was suddenly there and it had nothing to do with your performance.

It was a slow dance, slow and sensual, between your souls.

Until suddenly the music started and your body remembered the movements again.

And you were indeed perfect.

Unfortunately though it wasn’t always like that. Most of the time, he was simply complicated. When he wasn’t drugged out of his mind, he was angry. Not at all the time – but easily. All you had to do was say the wrong thing and he’d explode. And you’d explode right back, right into his face.

“I fucking hate you!”

“Shut the fuck up, you dumb slut!”

“Who are you calling a slut?! You son a bitch!”

“Say that again!”

It always ended the same way. You sobbing on the floor, him slamming the door shut and disappearing. That were the good fights.

The bad ones were different. You couldn’t count the times you had been forced to take shelter in the bathroom, quickly locking the door, too afraid to let him even close to you. Of course you knew how to fight back. You didn’t let him get away with slapping you, oh no, you kneed him right in the balls so he’d know better not to fuck with you. He’d normally collapse and the fight would be over. But sometimes, on especially bad days, he got that look on him.

It wasn’t careful or hesitant. No, it was murderous and terrifying. You always knew there was something dangerous about him. That was probably what drew you in at first. But this…It was different. When he got that look, when the drugs clouded his mind like that, you were truly afraid of what he might do. And so you locked yourself in and listened to the way he pounded against the door, ready to break it down. So far, he hadn’t. A part of him was still in there, even when got like that.

But you didn’t want to push your luck.

After eight years of up and down, back and forth and through the gates of Hell, you finally left him for good. At first he probably didn’t believe it. After all, you had pulled the leaving card a million times before. But somehow you always ended up back in his bed, with him fucking your brains out and calling it making up.

But this time, you meant it. It had been a pretty normal Tuesday. You were at work, waiting tables and cleaning up after your mindless customers. It wasn’t the best job in the world, but it paid the bills – albeit, barely.

After your father left and married a woman hardly any older than you and you found your mother on the bathroom floor, cold and stiff, her eyes wide and her chin and hair covered in foam and puke, you decided couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t be that anymore.

You moved in with Nam-gyu. It started off well at first. He was as cute as ever, when he was sober. Sure, you had fights already, but they were mostly trivial. Yelling was involved, throwing furniture around as well, but he never got violent with you so far.

He found a job, as did you and you paid your apartment together. It was tiny of course, but it was enough. You bought groceries and washed laundry. You even had some spare money to buy furniture and decorations. It wasn’t much, but it was yours. You did everything the way you always pictured it.

You had been with Nam-gyu since you turned seventeen. You met back in school and immediately fell in love with him. He had been so sweet. Acting overly confident and arrogant, of course, but it was just a front which you immediately realized. Under all that he was actually rather silly. He made you laugh without even trying. Even he seemed surprised by how good you two matched. So far he’d been going through life, acting like everyone was beneath him. But in reality, he wasn’t popular. He was a bully. He was mean, with a cruel streak. But never to you. No, when someone dared to speak up their mind against you, he was there, ready to break their jaw. You formed a friendship of sort. He was protective and extremely possessive, while you were caring. His family was a bunch of assholes, just like yours was and neither of you had any real friends.

Most of your friends were other dancers and neither of those were really sentimental. Sure, it was enough to go out for a salad sometimes, but you really weren’t one for bulimia and cigarettes. Most of them were, unfortunately.

You loved food. You loved to eat and you appreciated every bite. You’d grown up rather lonely on your own, praying every night for a sibling or a real friend. Someone you could talk to, about real problems. Your ballet friends though? Whenever they asked you how you felt, they didn’t actually want to know. They were just being polite.

Nam-gyu was just as lonely, though he wouldn’t have ever admitted it. He had friends, who were to no one’s surprise, also a bunch of assholes. Some of them were just bullies, others were straight-up rapists.

“What do you mean, you changed your mind? Are you dumb? Shut the fuck up and take it. You agreed to this!”

Nam-gyu wasn’t. It was another thing he wouldn’t have admitted to out loud, but the thought of fucking someone while they were out of it was something he wasn’t after. A thing that really turned him on was to see the pleasure on the other person’s face. The moans, the sighs. He wouldn’t get that if he just made them take it. And so he didn’t. But he tried to keep a straight face, when his friends shared their immoral stories of last weekend. He tried to laugh, when they spoke about the way the girls curled up in self-hatred after they left them there, their cum leaking out of them.

That was until one of the girls ended up killing herself.

She had been super sad and melancholic for as long anyone could remember. She was rather quiet and no-one really spoke to her. She wasn’t weird or anything, just really shy. That was enough to get bullied. She was an obvious virgin and rather closed-off. A good challenge. A great bet.

So, one of his friends placed a bet with the others. Fuck the girl.

“No way that weirdo is letting you anywhere close to her.”

And she didn’t, at first. She didn’t trust anyone around, because people normally made fun of her. But that guy, who went by Nic, was a real good actor. He didn’t walk up to her and just made advances. No, he played shy around her. Sweet. Funny. He managed to tickle a smile out of her. A laugh. And he didn’t just do it once. He did it for days. Weeks. Two months. He played her boyfriend. Her sweet, shy boyfriend. Until her front slowly crumbled and she fell in love with him. Deeply. So much that she actually decided to give Nic her first.

According to Nic it had been nothing out of the ordinary, but Nam-gyu knew it was more than that. He could read the people around him fairly well, and he could also see the way Nic’s pupils dilated, the way his heart skipped a beat, whenever his sweet, little girlfriend was around.

But his friends, his friends, they were constantly at his back.

“Did you finally fuck her?”

“Did you stretch that weird little cunt, huh?”

“Don’t tell me you’re falling for that Wednesday Addams bitch.”

Nic had a reputation to uphold. And so he did what he deemed necessary. He had sex with her and then he dumped her. But not like any normal person would. No, he made fun of her in the worst ways and ended up sending her nudes to anyone who was interested.

The same nudes he had begged her to send him, to trust him, for only his eyes.

And the next day, the gruesome news were heard over speaker.

She was dead. Jumped off her apartment building, right into her death.

Nic had a mental breakdown. No-one else from his group really cared. No-one except for Nam-gyu. Nam-gyu spent the rest of the day in his car, staring down at the steering wheel and trying not to throw up.

You had heard the news of course and you were devastated. You hadn’t known the girl, but you had never been mean to her. You actually remembered a few interactions you had. You knew there had been something going on between her and Nam-gyu’s friend. But naïve, little you had had the hope that it wasn’t a trick. How stupid you had been.

You spent the rest of the day looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Right when you already thought maybe he wasn’t at school at all, you saw his car. He was inside and God, he looked horrible. With red-rimmed eyes and shaking hands, all day. You tried your best to comfort him, but it was futile. He felt guilty. Someone was dead. And maybe, just maybe, if he had intervened in time…

You tried to make him understand that it wasn’t his fault, not entirely. He never spoke to his friends again.

You’d later find out, that was the day he took his first injection. So far all he had been doing were mushrooms and weed, but Hell, who hadn’t?

You spent more and more time together, because he firmly ignored everyone who was so damn fucked in the head. He was trying to be good, he was trying so hard. Life hadn’t been easy on him, not at all, but he still tried.

A month later, you had your first kiss. Another three days later you had sex. It was your first time and he was being surprisingly gentle and considerate. You loved thinking back to it, because you didn’t regret it at all. No matter what else happened between you afterwards, you could never regret giving your virginity to him, because it meant so much to you. And it seemed to mean even more to him.

Two years later, it was safe to say you were made for each other. Even long after being out of school, you were still a couple. He still got these angry outbursts sometimes, but you tried to understand him. He had grown up, feeling unseen and unloved by anyone. As did you. You weren’t angry per say. But you got angry, when he did. You had these desperate mood swing. And whenever something didn’t go your way, you felt like the world was ending. You felt everything intensely.

Love was great. It was all-consuming. You loved him in the same way he did. You adored him. Anger was different. It felt suffocating. Sadness wasn’t sadness, but depression. And despair was enough to nearly kill you.

You tried going to university, but that didn’t work out, because your father left and so you had no chance to pay the tuition. Nam-gyu never even bothered to try, because he knew he would fail anyway, but he tried whatever he could to make your dream work. You wanted to work with animals, heal them, help them, do whatever you could to make someone’s life better. But despite all your – and his – efforts, it didn’t work out. It was simply too much. He was heartbroken when you were forced to leave school, because of your selfish prick of a father. But it was alright.

You’d find another job. You could still make it in life, even without university. Everything was good.

That was, until you couldn’t afford your dance practice any longer.

That was heartbreaking.

One day, you came home after a long day of playing cashier, only to find your mother had stolen all the money you had saved so far. She took it to buy pills or whatever else. You couldn’t even be mad at her, because she lay passed out in the doorway to her room.

You had no money. And all your dreams were dead.

By the time that happened you were far into twenty-one, so you knew that life was cruel and you turned more and more bitter.

Nam-gyu was simply angry, but there was not much he could do. His parents threw him out at nineteen, so he had been paying his own rent since then. He tried speculating with cryptocurrency, but that didn’t work out. He played it down, but you knew he lost quite the amount of his own savings.

A year later your mother died and you finally moved in together. So far you hadn’t been able to leave her on her own, but now that she was gone, you couldn’t stand to live in the same place where she had died. The cemetery of what could have been. Countless dour memories, not a single one good.

You had never had a particularly good relationship, but she was your mother nonetheless. The sight of her dead body and horrified face, it haunted you in your sleep. You spent more than one night, waking up screaming, sweating and clutching the linens. Luckily, Nam-gyu was there to catch you, before you ever managed to fall into the deep pit that was your mind.

He managed to calm you down somehow, every time. He was perfect. The perfect boyfriend.

Until he wasn’t.

You hated when he did drugs, especially so after what had happened to your mother. And so he said he wouldn’t, but it was obviously just to pacify you. You always noticed when he did it nonetheless, you knew the dazed look in his eyes, the paleness of his skin. Whenever he refused a meal, it was obvious to you. Normally, he’d choke down everything you cooked like a starved animal, but there were days when he picked at his food and that was always the first indication.

His short responses, his temper, suddenly so easily flared. It didn’t take long for your first real argument to break out. It was fine, up until the point when you saw his hand twitch. Obviously, you shot him a murderous look, daring him. If he dared to hit you, you’d break his fucking jaw.

And he refrained. For then.

Things went mostly normal, until the next fight. That time he wasn’t so gentle. Things got out of hand and he pushed you against the wall, smashing your head against it in the process. For a moment, you were simply stunned – and even he seemed to be. He stopped before he could cause any greater damage.

Things went between good and bad, it was a constant battle for dominance. One day was good, the next day horrible. You couldn’t even look at him without earning a harsh comment. You’d ignore him firmly for the rest of the day and eventually he’d come crawling back, begging you to let him back inside the bedroom. He didn’t mind the couch, he just missed you. And somehow you always forgave him, far too easily. Sometimes he did change for a while. Surprised you with flowers or his sad attempts at cooking. Every time he messed up a scrambled egg, you couldn’t help but get weak. He was so silly, it was endearing. Yet at the same time, you knew there was something dark within him. Most likely the drugs, but you could never tell for sure.

Maybe this was just who he was.

Things got better and worse again, until one night, he snapped. You had a fight about one of your co-workers, who he considered a threat. You never understood it, because to you it was so obvious that you never wanted anyone else. Despite your problems, you stayed fiercely loyal to him. You loved Nam-gyu. And a part of you still believed that in the end, things would turn out good. Maybe they would, right?

But that night was bad. He got so furious and when he yelled at you, the walls seemed to shake. You were normally so eager to fight back, so strong, but that day something was different. You were on your period and just a few hours earlier, you had met a dance friend of yours. She told you, she was sure that, if you had stayed, you’d be famous by now. But she wasn’t kind about it. She was subtly looking down at you, shaming you for the way your life had turned out. It made a tight knot form in your stomach and you felt your resolve slowly crumble. All you wanted was to cry, but even that didn’t work, because you came home to a furious Nam-gyu.

Your shoulders slumped and you refused to look at him, which only ever made him angrier.

You didn’t see the slap coming, but once it happened, you couldn’t forget it. Couldn’t forget the anger and the disappointment that welled up in you. When you looked up at him, you expected the tiniest bit of regret or guilt, but there was nothing. He was too deep in his bubble of anger and substance, to see clearly. He got more and more furious and you knew; if you didn’t hide then, he’d do something worse. It was the first night you hid yourself away in the bathroom, one of many to follow. You always told yourself it were the drugs. He was so sweet when he was sober, so gentle and loving. You kept telling yourself, things would be good one day. They would turn out well. With time and patience.

Until you snapped.

You were at work, staring off into the distance. You had been out of it all day, because you spent the previous night locked in the bathroom, until he finally passed out around four in the morning. You snuck out and made your way to your workplace, where you opened more than three hours early. You had nowhere else to go. No family, no friends, no one. Only you and your pain. All day you spent trying to cover the dark marks on your wrists, but no one seemed to care anyway. People went about their own lives and problems and you were just their co-worker, their waitress.

You stood silently, watching an elderly couple whose order you had just taken. They were so sweet, like they came right out of a movie. He held the door open for her and pulled her chair back. He caressed her cheek and she never flinched when he reached out his hand for her. They smiled at each other with such a tenderness, it brought tears to your eyes. That was the exact moment. That was the moment you realized you didn’t want to continue on living like this.

You wanted more. You deserved more.

You made your way back and gathered most of your things while he was still at work. Of course it wasn’t the most intelligent approach, but it was all you could do. You knew, the moment you sat down and tried to explain to him that you were going to leave him, he’d find a way to convince you to stay. It had been eight years, after all. Eight years on and off, eight years up and down. Drugs, violence, lies – at least he never cheated on you.

You’d keep that in tender memory of him. As well as the countless times he had comforted and fought for you. All the times he made you laugh, all the times he made you feel loved. The greatest sex you would ever have, no doubt.

But you still packed your things and left like a ghost. After eight years.

He tried to contact you of course, the moment he came home. But you took your paycheck and went to a motel. Whenever he tried to find you at work, you hid in the kitchen. Your co-workers tried to calm him down, to tell him that you didn’t work there any longer, but he saw through the lie. He got loud and furious, which you could kind of understand. You stayed in the kitchen, crying to yourself and feeling incredibly guilty, but you didn’t ever come out.

He kept coming, but it got less and less frequent. From what your co-workers told you, he seemed less and less like himself. The thought broke your heart and nearly made you go back.

You were constantly in your head, making more and more mistakes at work, until your boss’s patience finally snapped. When you messed up the third customers giant bill, he fired you. You instantly panicked, because you were sure, now you had to go back.

You even drove around in your car, trying to get a glimpse of him in the apartment. But to your horror, you didn’t see Nam-gyu in the window. It were other people, some couple actually. And when you tried to call him, the number wasn’t available. Suddenly, he was a ghost and you were knee deep in horse shit.

It didn’t take long for your money to go and so you ended up panicking. You had to leave the motel soon and if you didn’t get a job – you’d end up homeless. Which was as good as dead.

A few days later, after you realized that you seemed to have no special talents and that no one really cared to hire you, you sat at the metro station. You had only one option left or so you thought. Le girls girls girls. You were a dancer. You were graceful. You were too good for this.

But it was all you could do. After all, the girls didn’t have to indulge in any immoral transactions. They were just dancing, right? Fine, in light clothing, but still dancing. You could do that.

You were deep in thought, your eyes closed and your head leaned against the wall behind you, when you heard someone’s voice.

“Care for a game of Ddakji?”

This was when your life took a dark turn.

You eyed the handsome stranger with suspicion. It was super odd. A man going down the path of middle age, slicked-back hair, wearing a suit and a briefcase on him.

And he was asking you to play a game with him?

You frowned and glanced around.

“I don’t know what you want, but you won’t get it from me.”

He smirked and tilted his head to the side innocently.

“I don’t want anything. Just a little game. That’s all. You got something to win here. I got money.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I’m not a fucking hooker.”

He smiled again, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “And I told you, all I want is to play a game. Are you scared?”

That made you bristle. You knew the game and you fucking hated it. You were fairly good at playing at, but you didn’t care for this idiot’s audacity. You were about to snap at him again, when you caught sight of the money. Your eyes widened and you sank back against the wall.

“I don’t have any money.” You murmured back.

“Don’t worry. You can pay with your body.”

Your head shot up and you were ready to lunge at him, but he held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I have no intention of fucking you.” He said calmly. “So, I’ll ask again. Are you scared?”

You crossed your arms and got up, giving him a dirty look.

“Get to it, son of a bitch.”

Your eyes fluttered open slowly. You had trouble adjusting your sight to the unnatural, neon light. The smell was odd, somewhat disinfectant. Something was really wrong.

You slowly stretched and turned your head, only to see you weren’t alone. That was enough to nearly make you shriek. You sat up quickly enough to get dizzy. Next to your own bunk was a woman who stared at you through her cat-eyes. She smirked devilishly as she lay on her side.

“Your fate is sealed. There’s no way you can dance your way out of this.”

You tried to ignore the way your heart raced in your chest. This had to be some freakish co-incidence. You took your gaze off her, only to realize you weren’t alone. Countless people surrounded you, some of them awake, others still asleep. They all wore the same green tracksuit, just as you did.

You took a shaky breath and carefully swung your legs over the bed, heading for the ladder.

What, in God’s name, was this? And why did you agree to it?

You only remembered how ashamed you felt and how good the prospect sounded of not having to dance half-naked for strange men.

But was this really better?

You glanced around in the hope of…Of what? The situation was far too fucked up.

The fact that they got you here unconsciously, getting you dressed…

You wanted to throw up. You stumbled through the great hall, hoping to get some answers to your questions, but that hope quickly got crushed.

These were the real strange men. Dressed in pink suits, wearing masks which covered all of their faces and even their voices weren’t their own. Whatever this was, it wasn’t a fun game, you suddenly realized.

That Ddakji playing motherfucker had deceived you.

You lost the first round, which resulted in him slapping you. And that slap, which hadn’t really been a gentle one, awakened some kind of beast in you. You didn’t know what it was, maybe the memory of getting slapped and hunted down your own apartment on a regular basis. Whatever it was, you didn’t lose another round. He gave you money and money and money. But you didn’t want his fucking money. You wanted revenge.

You kept winning, because nothing else was possible. And by the end of the game, he smiled at you while he handed you the damned card.

But right before he turned crawled back into the pit of Hell where he had come from, you called out to him.

“Hey, motherfucker.”

He cocked a brow and regarded you with amusement. “Are you still mad about that tiny, little hit? Come on, you took it like a champ.”

“Then you should, too.”  You slapped him with an intensity, you didn’t think you’d ever possess.

He looked at you like a statue, obviously ready to lunge at and murder you. But he hid his murderous intent behind a well-rehearsed smile.

“That one was free.” He said calmly. “And if I ever do see you again, I want a return match.”

He left and you were left with the card.

And there you were now. This wasn’t some childish game of Ddakji.

No one showed their face. You knew what that meant. Something was wrong – and you were in trouble.

You were about to leave the hall and take part in the first game, following after the others. You wouldn’t even have noticed, had you not bumped into him full-force.

When you pulled back your head, ready to apologize, you froze.

There he was. Your Nam-gyu. Staring back at you with wide eyes, behind them a mixture of something akin to surprise and fury.

“What the fuck?” He hissed.

He rushed forward and grabbed your by the shoulders, backing you up against the wall. Your eyes widened and you tried to push him back, but he was driven by something far stronger than both of you.

“Nam-gyu?” You breathed out.

He frowned deeply and stared at you incredulously.

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

“I didn’t-“

“Oh my God, I’m going to kill you.” He growled. “Where were you? What’s going on with you? Are you fucking-“

“Is there a problem here?” At first, you didn’t see the guy behind him with his ridiculous hairstyle and pouty lips. Immediately, you hated the sight of him.

“Fuck, she’s my-“

The purple-haired guy gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Whatever, man. We should get going, huh? We’ll be late for the game.”

He eyed you in an odd way, but you pushed it down and used the moment to free yourself from Nam-gyu’s grip and run out, rushing after the others and hiding in the crowd. He attempted to follow you and even called out to you, but you were already gone.

Fuck, you thought.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[ayumigotabittoolonely]

Nerd!Gojo x Nerd!You

Nerdjo x nerd reader!

Part 1 no next part sorry I lost the motivation 😔 and lost most of my works

♡Gojo, the paranoid investigator.He is now on a mission to prove you’re human.He starts stalking (observing is the word he prefers) you, noting down every tiny habit.But every time you catch him staring, you don’t call him out.You just stare back. Unblinking. Unfazed.His brain short-circuits. His soul leaves his body. Suguru finds him sitting in a corner later, mumbling, “She’s not real… she’s not real…”

♡Gojo, the humbled flirt.He’s never failed at flirting before. Ever. So when he dramatically tells you, “I’d bring the moon to you if I could.”He expects something a scoff, an eyeroll, a blush. Instead, you say, “That’s scientifically impossible.” The way you deadpan it makes him rethink his entire existence.Suguru and Shoko witness this and nearly die laughing.

♡Gojo, the desperate competitor.He stays up all night, studying harder than he ever has in his entire life, just to beat you in the rankings. The results come out. You still top. He’s second. But the worst part? You don’t even react. No smile, no satisfaction, no nothing. He’s not mad that he lost he’s mad that you didn’t care. He dramatically flops onto Suguru’s shoulder. “She’s a machine, man… I’m up against a machine…”

♡Gojo, the secret romantic.No one knows, but he loves romance novels. It’s his guilty pleasure.One day, he’s in the library, nose deep in one, when you suddenly sit next to him.He panics. He immediately slams the book shut.You glance at the cover. You say nothing.You just… nod slightly and continue reading your own book.For some reason, that’s way worse than if you had teased him.

♡Gojo, the horror movie victim.He once fell asleep in the library and woke up at 3 AM. Everything is dark. Silent. He feels like he’s in a horror movie.Then he sees you. Sitting at a table, reading, like some paranormal entity that never moves.He has never known fear like this before.He contemplates running, but his legs don’t work.He watches in terror as you slowly… turn the page of your book.He passes out.

♡Gojo, the human experiment conspiracist.He is convinced now. You are not normal. You are not real.He asks Shoko to run a “human test” to confirm.

She plays along and casually tells you, “Hey, mind giving me a blood sample?”Gojo watches you for any sign of panic.You blink. “No.” And walk away.

He gasps. He screams.

“SHE DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHY. SUGURU, SHE DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHY.”

♡Gojo, the fool in denial. He refuses to admit he finds you interesting.

“I don’t like her, okay? I just wanna know more about my rival.”

Suguru and Shoko exchange looks. “Sure.”

“I MEAN IT.”

“Mhm. Sure. Do your homework.”

He storms off in frustration.

♡Gojo, the dramatic love announcer. One day, out of nowhere, he slams his hands on the lunch table, eyes wide with revelation.

“I THINK I FOUND MY MATCH.”

Suguru and Shoko don’t even look up. “Yeah, we know.”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. SHE’S—”

“Yeah, yeah. Do your homework, Gojo.”

He stares at them in betrayal. They’re supposed to be shocked.

He’s suffering, and they don’t even care.

♡Gojo, the haunted. One day, he catches you staring at him.His heart stops. His brain malfunctions.You just tilt your head slightly, as if analyzing him.And then you go back to your book.That moment haunts him to this day.

♡Gojo, the theorist.He starts developing wild theories.Maybe you’re a spy. Maybe you’re a hacker. Maybe you’re an escaped AI prototype from a secret lab.

Suguru literally smacks the back of his head. “Shut up and focus on your work.”

♡Gojo, the secret simp.He doesn’t even realize he’s simping for you.One time, someone called you boring for always studying.

Without hesitation, Gojo fired back, “At least she exists. You just stand around judging people who do.”

The entire room went silent.

He immediately realized what he just said and pretended to choke on air.

♡Gojo, the needy puppy.When he wants something from you, his voice turns softer.

“Show it to me please… send it to me, Y/nnnn.”

He stretches your name out like a whiny kid.

Suguru stares at him in disgust.

♡Gojo, the unshakable, now very shaken.His ultimate goal? Make you react.

First, he starts leaving anonymous cute notes.

You glance at them for two seconds, then toss them in the trash.

His heart shatters.

Then, he tries challenging you. “Bet you can’t solve this.”

You solve it in seconds. He gasps. He didn’t even know the problem had an answer. (He made the question)

As a final resort, he sends you a fake love letter, thinking you’ll finally get flustered.

You read it and say, “It’s technically impossible to climb Everest in three minutes for a girl.”

He wants to scream.

♡Gojo, the ignored.He gets petty. Tries ignoring you for three hours to make you notice his absence.You don’tyHe snaps.

“Missed me?”

You blink. “Oh, I didn’t even know you were here today.”

♡That one physically hurt.

♡ Gojo, the fool who fell.He’s never met someone like you.You challenge him in a way no one ever has.He hates it. He loves it.He’s completely doomed.

@syrooo @hel1nn @ourfinalisation @dekusdante @naomigojo

[come-as-you-are-111]

“Left On Read”

Warnings: nothin just angst

You don’t know when it started. The silence. The slow fade of what used to be effortless. One minute, Matt was your best friend—the person who knew you better than anyone. Late-night drives, deep talks, and inside jokes that no one else would ever understand. And then, suddenly, it wasn’t.

At first, you tried not to overthink it. You told yourself he was busy. That life got in the way sometimes, but he’d come back when he could. It wasn’t until the ignored texts started piling up, until the invites were met with, Sorry, can’t tonight, that you felt the first real crack in your chest.

Then came the moment that shattered everything.

It was late—past midnight, when the weight of missing him became unbearable. You sat in bed, staring at your phone, scrolling through months of old messages. Conversations that used to be filled with excitement, warmth, and care. Messages that now felt like echoes of something long dead.

You tried to ignore the lump in your throat as you typed.

Matt, if you don’t want me in your life anymore, just say it.

I don’t know what I did, but if I hurt you, I’m sorry.

Please just tell me what’s going on.

Your thumb hovered over the send button. Maybe this was stupid. Maybe you were making a big deal out of nothing. But deep down, you already knew the truth.

You sent it. The message turned blue. The seconds ticked by.

And then—

Read 1:14 AM.

Nothing.

Your stomach twisted painfully. Maybe he fell asleep before he could answer. Maybe he needed time to think. Maybe, maybe, maybe—

You turned off your phone, rolled onto your side, and let the weight of it settle over you like a heavy, suffocating fog.

The next morning, you woke up with dry eyes and a hollow chest. You checked your phone once, heart racing despite everything. But the screen was empty. No message. No explanation. No closure.

He wasn’t going to answer.

—

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. The pain didn’t leave, but it changed. It became quieter, duller, slipping into the background of your life. You stopped checking your phone so much. Stopped replaying old conversations in your head, wondering what you could have done differently.

But the reminders were everywhere. Songs that used to be your songs. Places that used to be your spots. People still asking, Hey, what happened between you and Matt?

You never had an answer.

And then, one evening, it happened.

You were halfway up the steps to your front door when something caught your eye. A single envelope, tucked into your mailbox, your name written in familiar, messy handwriting.

Your stomach dropped.

No return address. No indication of who it was from. But you didn’t need one. You knew.

Your hands trembled as you ripped it open.

I know you hate me. You have every right to.

I never meant to leave you like that. I thought I was doing the right thing.

I didn’t want to hurt you, so I left before I could. But I see now that I just hurt you worse.

I miss you. More than I can explain. But I know it’s too late.

Your breath hitched. The words blurred as your eyes stung.

I hope you’re happy. Even if it’s without me.

That was it.

No explanation. No apology that actually mattered. Just a half-hearted attempt at closure that came far too late.

You stood there on your porch for a long time, gripping the letter like it might disappear.

And then, finally, you pulled out your phone. The last message you had ever sent him still sat there, unread since that night. A message that never got a response, because he had decided you didn’t deserve one.

Your fingers hovered over the screen.

You could text him now. You could say something. Anything.

But instead, you folded the letter, walked inside, and tossed it into a drawer without another glance.

This time, you were the one leaving him on read.

A/n: Hi my lil monsters!! How we likey? Just felt like writing some angst today so hope yall liked it!

Love ya, Twilight

Sturniolo taglist:

@sturns-mermaid

[okminer07]

Colossal Clash Pt 1

TW: Violence, Gore

The echoes of the crowd cheering could still be heard after she closed the door to the dressing room. Luna let her head fall and rest upon the door before releasing a shaky breath and smiling to herself. Once again she had done it, and they loved it, they loved her.   

She pushed away from the door and stumbled over to the worn couch to her left, collapsing onto it. Bringing a hand to her damp forehead, she let out a weak laugh, gazing up at the maroon ceiling. Now all that was left was a couple performances tomorrow, much less than usual though due to the event. That was at least one pro that came along with it.    

She closed her eyes, sighing. Mr. Hawkson would come around in about an hour, most likely along with Madame Mircal, giving her a rundown of all her performances today. She frowned, her five o'clock show had been her worst, she had forgotten that turn as always, why the hell could she not get that down!? Her hand had also slipped off the bar for a second during her mount. There also was no forgetting the 9 o’clock performance, she had forgotten to bow and wave to the crowd! How many times had Mr. Hawkson told her to bow and wave after every performance!? At least a hundred.  

She cupped her hands over her face, and here she was congratulating herself a moment before. Though….. She didn’t want to think about that now. All she wanted to do was rest for a bit, just for a bit. Just….. for….. a little……. bit…………..  

“Luuunnna” cooed a voice from the void. She tried to ignore it. 

“Luna, wake up”   

She groaned, shifting away from the voice.  

“Wake up!”  

She gasped, eyes flying open while she sat bolt upright. The messy dressing room came back into focus, though this time she wasn’t alone. At her side were two familiar faces. Calliope and Dolly. Calliope had her signature hair and makeup done, her afro dyed bright pink and blue with random clips atop it, obnoxiously bright eyeshadow and blush, and bright pink lipstick. Dolly though had completely wiped her face clean and her hair fell messily down her shoulders. 

Calliope grinned “Bout time you woke. We’ve been looking for you all over.”  

Luna’s stomach dropped, “Am I late? Am I supposed to be-”  

“Nah, you’re good. Just got done with my final show” she rolled her eyes, “You should have heard what some of those douchebags were yelling after me.”  

Dolly scoffed before adopting a slimy and deeper voice, “Give us some of your candy sugar! I’d like to find out what flavor you are! I’ve got a lollipop for yah!”   

Calliope laughed, slapping Luna on the back, “Anyways, we’ve got a surprise for you.” 

She smiled “You know I don’t like surprises”   

“Exactly why I love them.”  

Luna sighed, “Alright, what is it?”  

Calliope turned to Dolly, “May I present to you, the experience of a lifetime, bam!” She pulled her hands out from behind her back and held them up. She was clutching three slips of paper. 

Luna gave her a confused look, “What are those?”  

“Tickets to tonight’s match!”  

Calliope snatched them up, “And what a match-up it is!” she shoved the ticket right in front of Luna’s eyes.  

Colossal Clash! 

The Earthquaker vs Thunderbringer  

Luna read the tickets before shoving them away, “Yeah, no thanks.”  

Dolly pouted, “Oh come on. You know how much convincing it took to get these? Hawkson isn’t one to give away free things very often.”  

“Plus! Plus,” Calliope tapped a line on the ticket with one of her sharp bright pink nails, “These are front-row seats! Closest to the arena.”  

She sighed, “Why do you guys even want to go?”  

“Why is it you don’t want to go?”   

Luna fell silent. She looked down at her bare feet, still a bit red and beaten from today’s shows. 

A smug smirk crept onto Calliope’s face, “You’re not scared are you?”  

She glared up at her, “Of course not! What’s there to be afraid of?”  

“Then come with us. It will be fun!”  

“But I’d planned to practice for tomorrow’s-”  

“You don’t need to practice.” groaned Calliope, “Tomorrow’s shows have been canceled.”  

Luna’s eyes widened, “What?”  

“Yeah, Hawkson told me after I’d gotten the tickets from him. Guess he’s starting to go soft,” said Dolly.  

She stared back down at her feet. On the one hand, it would be nice to take a break. On the other hand… Did she really need a break? Or deserve one?  

“Please Luna” they both begged.  

With an exasperated sigh, she threw up her arms and stood, “Fine.”  

Both squealed with delight, “Yes! This is gonna be awesome!”    

They hung out in the dressing room for a quarter of an hour longer, changing into more comfortable clothes so they wouldn’t be stuck walking around in their show outfits. Calliope wiped off most of her makeup while Luna didn’t go anywhere near a makeup wipe. That was until Dolly reminded her there were no shows tomorrow.  

With all traces of their stage selves erased, they headed towards the arena. It wasn’t too far away from the theaters, and it was even faster with access to the underground work tunnels. Calliope and Dolly dashed down the halls, dragging Luna along with them. Everyone else in the tunnels also seemed to be in a rush. The three of them nearly bulldozed a poor teenage boy who was struggling with a stack of boxes. She caught a glimpse of the packaging and rolled her eyes. Dark blue t-shirts with lightning streaks and words reading Thunderbringer! Bring it on! 

As they got closer, she saw more and more merchandise being carted around, shirts, mugs, hats, you name it.   

“Just up here,” called Dolly, leading them up a long flight of stairs. After what felt like an uphill eternity, they came to a door and burst through it. Luna’s airs were instantly assaulted with the sound of hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. She followed her friends forward, the walls around the sloping downward until they gave way to reveal the arena.  

She had seen it from afar, but being actually in it… it was something else. Rows and rows of chairs surrounded her on every side, every one of them filled. A good quarter of the crowd were all dressed in blue, some of which were holding up banners and signs with the name phrase from earlier: Thunderbringer! Bring it on! Facing the blue crowd was a crowd a tad smaller all dressed in shades of brown. The signs they were holding often read the phrase, The Earthquaker! Ready to rumble! 

“Come on! Our seats are over here.” Dolly led further into the arena, passing by rows of chairs that were slowly getting lower and lower as well as closer to a guard rail up ahead, “Here we are.” She gestured to three open seats at the end of a row and right up against the railing.  

Luna jumped slightly when Calliope patted her on the back, “What did we tell you, best seats in the house.”  

While her friends sat down, she walked over to the railing and peered over it. Her eyes widened. Below was a massive circular sand pit, maybe some sixty or fifty meters beneath them and three hundred meters wide. On both the left and right sides, massive archways nearly as tall as the walls themselves were carved out into the stands and led into darkness.  

She backed away from the edge and into her seat, her leg bouncing. Judging by the crowd, they would be starting any minute now.   

As if on queue, the lights began to dim, and loud, hype music began to play, “Oooh, this is it.” whispered Dolly. Luna hid her eye roll.  

A bright spotlight illuminated the very center of the arena. The ground around it opened up and up rose a cylinder podium, on top a man in a maroon suit and microphone in hand. It kept rising until it was at about the same height, where it stopped and a huge grin spread across the man’s face.  

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Colossal Clash!”  

The crowd cheered and applauded.  

“Tonight's match is one we’ve all been waiting for and whose fighters need no introduction, yet here I am!”  

The crowd all laughed.  

“So let’s get it started!” The crowd cheered once more, “On one side, you’ll know he’s coming when you look up expecting storm clouds as your bones rattle, standing at 53 meters tall and packing a punch strong enough to make Zeus tremble, Thunderbringer!”  

The ground began to tremble beneath them. Luna gripped her seat as the tremors got stronger and stronger, a massive shadow creeping out from the arch that seemed to keep growing larger and larger.   

Out of the darkness, a form emerged, so immense it seemed impossible that it was shaped like a man. Another spotlight flicked on and illuminated him, Thunderbringer.  

She couldn’t help but gape. Never before had she seen a colossus this close up before, and there was nothing that could have prepared for it. He was enormous, so tall that the top of his head wasn’t much lower than the walls. He was built like a tank, his biceps bulging as he flexed them for the crowd who all cheered. All he had on was a pair of black shorts to show off his thick torso that had to be made out of yards of fabric and even then looked quite snug.   

A huge grin adorned his face as he spun around to look at the entire crowd, “Who's ready to watch me win this?!” he bellowed. His thunderous voice rang in her ears, so much so that the crowd's cheers seemed to pale in comparison.  

Thunderbringer pumped his fist into the air, gaining another round of applause.  

“On the other side, the only thing more destructive than an earthquake is him, standing 51 meters tall and ready to rock your world, The Earthquaker!”   

The crowd exploded once more as the ground shook again and another colossus entered the arena, The Earthquaker. Just as muscular, he definitely matched his namesake. His skin was darker and the shade of dust and instead of having stormy jet-black hair like his opponent, he sported dusty-blonde locks. He stormed into the arena, arms crossed and a smug look on his face as he stood silently basking in the applause.   

The spotlights illuminating the figures in the arena merged together and began to grow until the enter ring was lit up, “Are you ready?!” yelled the announcer. The crowd screamed their approval. The platform he stood upon lowered back down until he and it disappeared back under the arena.    

Both fighters stood on opposite sides of the arena, staring each other down. A huge screen above the arena lit up, displaying the length of the first round: 25 minutes. 25 minutes to inflict as much damage as possible. The round time then shrunk away and was replaced by a countdown that began to tick down.  

The clock hit zero and a buzzard blared.  

In an instant, the two colossuses charged at one another, shaking every seat in the arena with their footfalls. The Earthquaker dove at Thunderbringer’s legs only for him to pivot and wrap his arms around the other’s torso. Earthquaker was slammed down onto the ground, the whole arena gasping as the impact shook them all to their core. Thunderbringer went in for a punch to the gut but instead had his own kicked in, sending him stumbling back, enough time for the Earthquaker to get back onto his feet. 

Luna looked away as the two bashed their heads together, her stomach squirming. There had been two reasons why she hadn’t wanted to come and had never gone to a match before. For one, Calliope had guessed right, she was a tad scared. But who wouldn’t be?! Who wouldn’t feel at least a little unnerved by the ground jerking around with every movement of theirs? Who wouldn’t be put off by the fact that they were so close to creatures that seemed to dwarf their very existence? Who wouldn’t not be thrilled to be reminded of just how little power they had? Thousands of adoring fans it seemed.  

She crossed her arms and slumped in her seat, scowling as the two began to try and land blows on one another. Then there was the second reason why she didn’t want to go. It was a reminder of what she, Calliope, Dolly, and all the other performers were up against. The number of people that show up for these matches and the amount of business it brings in for Mr. Hawkson was something she felt compelled to match. Why was it that this is what brought people to this place? Why couldn’t it be her? Her dancing? Her singing? Her performances?  

It wasn’t like those two had trained for years to get where they were. No, all they were doing was reaping the benefit of what they were born with naturally. Why were people so enthralled by watching the likes of these roughhousing with each other and not by the practice, the perfection, the passion she brought to the stage?   

“Enjoying the show ladies?”  

Luna broke out of her spiral and looked up. She was shocked to find Mr. Hawkson standing before her. He was a portly man, with greying hair that he put way too much hair gel and spray in to make it look nice. Calliope often compared him to a penguin with an Elvis wig on. 

“What are you doing here? We’re trying to watch the match,” said Dolly, leaning out of her seat to send a cold look up at the man.  

He chuckled, “I’m very sorry to interrupt. I just need to speak with Ms. Lunaloris for one moment. Do you mind?” 

Luna shrugged her shoulders, “Sure.” she got up only to immediately be knocked back into her seat as the two colossus threw each other to the ground.  

Mr. Hawkson grabbed her arm, giving it a pat, “Sorry my dear.” he laughed, before leading her away from the crowd and down in between the stands where they had entered from.  

“What is it?”  

He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and turned her back to the match, “Luna, I’m sure you know you're one of my best dancers, hell, one of my best employees. More people should be aware of your talent. Not just those who buy tickets to your shows.”  

She smiled uncomfortably at all the praise but wanted him to continue on.   

“That’s why I’ve come to ask you to do the honors of performing the halftime show for this match.”  

Luna turned to look him in the eye, “Really?”  

“Yes really!”  

“I… I didn’t even know there were halftime shows for stuff like this.”  

Mr. Hawkson shrugged, “Well, not usually, but I think our patrons deserve some quality entertainment while they wait for the second round. That’s where you come in.” he dug into his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper, “Madam Mircal and I have already prepared a routine. It’s nothing to fret over. Just some stage directions.” 

He handed her the slip of paper. She unfolded it and skimmed its contents, “What song would-”  

“Whatever you’d like. Preferably one you're well versed on since this is so last notice.”  

“I… I don’t know what to say.” she breathed.  

Mr. Hawkson clapped her on the back, “Then save those pipes for the performance. Now, you’ll have to miss watching the rest of this match I’m sorry to say to prepare.” 

She smiled, “That’s fine by me. Just tell me what to do.”  

“That’s my girl. Now, down in room E6, just down those stairs and through the labeled door, I have one of the makeup artists waiting for you along with a couple of costume choices. There will also be one of the technicians, tell him the music you’ll need and he’ll hook you up with it. Get all that done and then wait at the door for the announcer to introduce the performance. The instructions will tell you the rest. Get to it!”  

She quickly nodded before turning on her heel and ran away from the arena and down the flight of stairs.  

Reading through her directions as she went, she stumbled into room E6. Just like he had said, Nicole was there, one of the artists she was well acquainted with.  

“I take it you agreed.” she said, pulling up two chairs and opening up her briefcase worth of makeup, “Sit down and let’s get started.” Luna did as she was told, pulling off her hoodie and sitting down in the chair opposite Nicole. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn’t get rid of the butterflies in her stomach.  

“Now.” continued Nicole, pulling out the foundation, “Mr. Hawkson suggested we do a look with one of the fighter’s colors or a combination of the two. How does that sound?”  

She frowned and thought for a moment. No, I’m not letting them be attached to this, “I think I would rather have one of my usual looks.”   

Nicole smiled, “That’s what I thought you’d say.  I’ll work with the time we have.”   

Twenty minutes later or so Luna was smiling back at her reflection. Her lips were a shiny purple and her eyelids twinkled the same color. Nicole had sprinkled in some blush and some random flecks of sparkle. That girl was a wizard.  

“Thank you, this looks perfect!” exclaimed Luna. She got up and hurried over to the costume rack where about half a dozen outfits hung.  

After flying through them, she pulled out the off-the-shoulder, form-fitting, and sparkling one she had worn for one of her earlier routines. Nicole turned her back to pack away her supplies while Luna slipped it on.  

“Do you think you could help me with the back?”  

Nicole hurried over and promptly began doing up the back of the costume, making it snug yet breathable. Luna thanked her again before snatching up a pair of sparkling heels and running out the door.  

She stumbled back up the stairs while also trying to slip the shoes on. Once she reached the doors to the arena, she stopped to breathe. Even from here, she could feel the vibrations caused by the colossus as they continued to brawl.   

The minutes ticked by. Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach tied into knots and bows.  

Finally, the buzzard sounded, signaling the end of the first match. The crowd cheered and applauded until the announcer's voice rang out through the speakers, “What a smackdown! And to think there’s still two rounds left! Now, tonight we have a special treat for all of you.” A stagehand snuck up behind her and hastily slipped a microphone into her hand. 

Luna took a deep breath, time to show them what real talent looks like.  

“So please welcome… the mystifying Ms that is… Lunaloris!”  

The doors in front of her opened automatically and the crowd burst into cheers. She strutted into the arena and stopped right out of view of the spectators. The lights flicked off, shrouding the stadium in darkness. 

She walked out further and posed under a purple-tinted spotlight that illuminated right as the music started. Walking forward in time with the beat, she opened her mouth and began to sing. Lights began to flash, making the crowd look like a starry galaxy. The crowd oooed and awed before starting to cheer.  

Luna smiled as she continued on. Reaching the railing where a gap was now revealed and behind it was a flight of stairs. She made her way down them, striking poses and pulling off a few moves like kicking her leg up and a couple spins.  

The spotlight guided her when she reached the actual arena. She strutted around it, addressing and hyping up the crowd as she made a spiraling path into the center. Right as she reached the bridge of the song, the platform from before rose up from the ground and began to rise while rotating with her atop it.   

She kept her eyes up and away from the ground as she continued to sing her heart out. This is what talent looked like. This is what talent sounded like. This is what talent was.  

The song ended and the platform began to swivel back to the ground. The arena erupted with the sounds of applause, louder than Luna had ever heard before. She gasped for air before smiling and waving at the crowd, beaming as she tried to express how their cheers made her feel.  

“Thank you! Thank you all so much!” she said into the microphone. The crowd responded with another round of applause and cheers.  

She closed her eyes and let the feeling sink in. Letting the cheers raise her spirits high and make her heart soar. This is what she lived for.   

Suddenly, the ground gave a violent jerk. Luna stumbled and fell to the ground. She went to get up only for the ground to jerk again, the grains of sand bouncing with her. The audience all gasped in unison. 

Wha…. What the hell? She lifted her head and whipped it around to look behind her. Her heart nearly stopped.  

Thunderbringer and the Earthquaker had tumbled back into the arena and were looking at each other with pure loathing.  

“You son of a bitch!” boomed the Earthquaker as he ran at Thunderbringer with his arms looking poised to strangle him.    

Thunderbringer seized his arms and began to try and break them, “I’m fucking winning this!” 

The two began to stumble towards her and their rumbling footsteps snapped her out of her shock. She got to her feet and began to book it for the stairs. The ground trembled and rocked beneath her, constantly causing her to lose her footing in the unstable sand and stubble or fall. 

She glanced over her shoulder and gasped as a boat-sized foot slammed feet away from her. The impact sent sand showering down upon her. She covered her head and continued to blindly run away. When she looked up, the massive form of the Earthquaker was soaring over top of her before it collided with the ground.   

Luna stumbled back to her feet just as the Earthquaker was doing the same and charging at his opponent, his legs soaring overhead with each stride and knocking her back off her feet. Thunderbringer dodged his attack and ran to the other side of the arena.   

Seeing it as a waste of precious time to attempt to stand, she began to crawl away, her trembling arms slipping upon the sand. She spotted movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Thunderbringer charging forward, and she was directly in his path.  

There was no time to crawl away, he was on top of her in seconds. Luna watched in stunned horror, helplessly trying to drag herself away as his monstrous hovered overhead before rapidly descending down.  

The world went still. Went silent. Her vision was blurred and all she could see was darkness. Then, a scream rang out, several actually. It brought her back and the moment it did, she wished it hadn’t.  

Pain. Pain unlike anything she had ever felt exploded in her lower half, quickly spreading all throughout her. She began to hyperventilate, clenched her muscles, anything to stop it! Her hands patted around the area where it was coming from and clutched at it, causing her to wince as another wave of agony washed over her. She began to whimper and tremble as it continued with no mercy.   

A world away she heard muffled voices. One of which sounded familiar.  

“Let me through! God dammit I said let me through! That’s my sister!”   

Liam?  

The ground trembled beneath her and her brother’s face came into view. His face was glistening with sweat and all the color and drain from him.  

“Luna, Luna can you hear me?!”  

Her eyes began to water as she stared back up at him, “M-make…. Make it stop, please” 

“I-I I will, I promise I….” he dug his hand under her and propped up her head, “Somebody call an ambulance!”  

From her new vantage point, she looked down at her lower half. Her stomach dropped. Where her right leg had been was now flattened, bloody flesh. Tears trickled down the sides of her face and she gasped for breath as she wept.  

“H-help…. Help… please.” She raised a trembling hand and blindly reached for her brother. He took her hand and squeezed it.   

“It’s… it’s going to be… be okay,” he murmured, clutching her hand to his chest.   

A shiver ran down her. She felt cold. Her hand went limp in her brother’s hand. She stared upwards, eyes rolling up into her head as everything faded away. 

This has been brewing in the back of my mind for a while now. Let me know if you want to see more of this story cause I do have more in mind for this.

[sukunastoy]

Only Love Can Hurt Like This, Chapter 1, Part 2 (CEO! Sukuna x Fem! Reader, MDNI)

Continuation of Part 1 of Chapter 1 Here

⬇️PLEASE READ BEFORE STARTING THE STORY! ⬇️

Modern age AU, no curses. Sukuna still has his tattoos, but his face ones are carefully hidden. This story is set in Japan, and I've done my best to implement real life into it. For example, tattoos in Japan are still taboo, and people associate them with the yakuza, so its not normal to see everyday people have them. Though I know I won't have all the details of modern day life in Japan correct, I hope you still enjoy.

Pairings: CEO Sukuna x Fem Reader Content/Trigger warnings: In full on the Prologue chapter Wordcount: 4.1k+

This chapter is a backstory of how Toji and Reader met. Since Toji is not necessarily a main character in this story, I don't want to focus on a lot of detail for this backstory. But it needs to be told.

Toji and Reader are in high school, Toji is a senior, and reader is a freshman. Though I don't specifically put anything into detail, since everyone is a minor, you get the basic idea. Toji is not a good guy.

Since this is part of a backstory, Sukuna isn't mentioned or appears in this chapter at all.

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

Trigger/Content Warning, please read!:

⭐This chapter specifically mentions drugging, underage sex, underage drinking, rape without knowledge, filmed during sex without consent, morning after pills/abortion drugs, and manipulation.⭐

"And one more picture of that pretty, ruined pussy. You'll probably make me a decent amount of money." Toji smirked while snapping the seventh or eighth photo on his phone. -"Hey, check this one out. Ruined her spoiled little virgin cunt."- -"Damn, you sure know how to pick the best ones."- -"Doesn't take much. Make them feel special and they'll drop that guard of theirs."- -"Well, drugging them also helps." -"I thought she was gonna just let me, but she wanted to wait for the right moment I guess."- -"It's so lame. I dunno why bitches need sex to be anything more than just sex."- -"Oh well. She's just a dumb, used whore now. When she finally lets me fuck her, I'll let her pretend its her first time."- -"Do your thing man, and let me know the next time you get her drugged up, I want a piece of that. Its so much easier when they're unconscious and not crying or squirming."- -"Just drop that money into my hand and you can fuck her whenever."-

Saturday, 4:37 AM

Everything ached. And your head was absolutely throbbing. A dazed whimper fell from your lips as you struggled to open your eyes. Your eye lids were almost unbearably heavy, as if they were being held shut. Sitting up, you weakly reached an arm to your head, trying to rub your eyes so you could wake up. Everything hurt so incredibly bad, like, bad... A bit of dread filled your mind as you looked around your bedroom. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, yet everything felt off. Your phone was nearby, and you grabbed it, looking at the time. Only 4:37 in the morning. You went to your messages, texting Toji to see what time he ended up leaving, and if he noticed you acting weird before he left. -"Hey! I just randomly woke up, but I have like a massive headache and everything is really sore. What happened after I got home last night?"-

You waited a moment, hoping for a reply but none came for a long while. By the time you did get anything back, you had slowly spiraled into a panic. Of course the worst consumed your mind, only imagining horrible outcomes of what might have happened the night before. Surely, Toji wouldn't have done anything bad to you, right?

-"Hey princess. Gave you some tea and you were relaxing on the couch. But, you seemed to be a bit buzzed still, you started passin' out on your couch so I put ya to bed and left."

He put you in bed? Well, it did seem quite nice of him. You rarely drank, so it's no wonder you felt like crap. It was certain parts of your body being sore that was a concern to you however. -"We didn't like, do anything, right? I know you kissed me in the car, but you didn't do anything else, did you?"- You nibbled your lower lip in worry while seeing the three little dots of Toji's reply appearing and disappearing before anything was said.

-"Of course not. Why would I do something like that? You were basically passed out, what are you implying?"-

The back of your throat burned as anxiety bubbled up in your chest. Oh shit, you basically just accused him of doing something to you!

-"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right, I'm certainly not accusing you of anything! I wasn't trying to make it sound that way."- You gripped your phone with sweaty palms as the three little dots popped up again, but then disappeared. Leaving you on read.

-"I'm really sorry, I'm just feeling weird and not thinking right."- No reply, and it wasn't even shown as read, only delivered. Several minutes passed and you stared desperately at your phone, awaiting a reply to ease your conscious, but none ever came.

And nothing ever came for the rest of the day either. Though you walked around with a small limp from a pain in your hip, all you could think of was how Toji must have felt for you basically accusing him of doing something to you. He had been nothing but nice and charming the entire night, and then you insult him with that accusation? Stupid.

Monday, 7:37 AM

Monday only brought more worry as you still hadn't heard from him. You were probably going to see him here at school soon and after not hearing back from him just sent tremors through you. How fucking awkward it will be. You waited for him near the lunch room, hoping things wouldn't be tense. What if he completely ignored you? When someone flicked your ear from behind, you quickly whipped around, only to see Toji standing over you, a charmed grin on his face. "Hey there. Ready to eat?"

A little smile crept across your face at his good attitude, but it was still a little nervewracking. "Hey, yeah, but, why didn't you ever text me back?" you wondered, pulling your bottom lip as you looked up to him hopefully. "Oh, I fell asleep and then just forgot." he shrugged it off, that smile never leaving his face as if there wasn't a single problem. You studied him, trying to decipher what he was really feeling, but his expression never faltered. You probably were just overreacting and then panicking, everything seemed fine.

When he invited you out to another party for the next friday, you immediately accepted, wanting another chance to be around him the way you were before. It was mostly the same as before, the only difference being some new faces, but you were still one of the very few freshmen to be among the crowd. You did your best to not drink as much, not wanting to wake up the same way you did last weekend. Dropping you off back at home, you looked over to Toji a little expectantly, licking your upper lip as sublty as possible in anticipation. You wanted him to kiss you like that again, to pull you into his lap and kiss you as if he was craving you. However, he got out of the car, and walked over to your doorside, opening it for you. "Hope you had another good time." He simply said, ushering you out of the seat. You didn't press it, not wanting to seem desperate or confused. This almost became a normal thing, every friday night. There'd be some party, you'd get to go, but Toji didn't try to kiss you anymore. He didn't act any different towards you, but he wouldn't touch you. Had you honestly hurt his feelings that bad where he was afraid to touch you now?

Friday, 11:47 PM

By the fourth friday of him not touching you in any way at all, you took matters into your own hands. As soon as he put the car in park, you climbed over into his lap, gripping onto his shirt desperately as you pressed your lips against his. You whimpered in delight when you felt his large hands settle at your waist, fingertips pushing into your skin. Instead of him returning your kiss in earnest though, he pushed you back, looking at you in an almost confused way. "What's gotten into you all the sudden?"

Your cheeks flared with embarassment, and you weren't even sure how to react right now. "I...I'm sorry, I..." He sighed heavily while turning his head and opening the car door. "Look, I like you but you basically accused me of doing something to you. Thats pretty shitty. You know how much trouble I could get into for some shit like that? You drank too much, and I put you to bed." "I truly didn't mean it like that." You pleaded as he placed you out of the car before getting out. Your short frame stared up to him nervously as he stood up and ran a hand over his face, sighing out in the process. "Please, Toji, I was still mostly asleep when I messaged you, so I wasn't thinking properly." You basically begged, reaching out and holding his hand with both of yours. You did really like this guy, and ruining it already was torturous. He seemed to ponder in his mind, his expression changing slightly as if trying to decide how to proceed from here. "You really want me to kiss you again?"

You nodded quickly, your eyes searching between his as he looked down to you. "Your parents home?" "No, they're out of town again for a couple weeks." "If I come inside again, you're not gonna panic if you wake up tomorrow with some headache, right?" "No, no of course not."

Even if you did wake up feeling like shit again, you certainly weren't going to say anything to him. The last few times you woke up from attending the parties, you hadn't been sore or felt weird. You also had made sure to drink way less than you initially did on the first party night. It was probably just too much alcohol.

Toji brought you another cup of hot tea, you and you fondly watched him sit down next to you on the couch. The butterflies in your stomach were strong as he placed an arm along the back of the couch behind your head, and you couldn't help but scoot a little closer to him, wnting to be against him if possible. Seeing your actions, he smirked and gestured you closer, now wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you close. 

"Thank you." you softly said, resting your head onto him.  "For what?" "Staying with me. I've just been a little lonely lately, and I don't want to lose you either." He smirked while holding you closer to him. "Trust me, I don't plan on leaving your side anytime soon at all."

"Just relax. It might hurt just cause you've never done anything before, but thats normal. The more we do it, the less it will hurt and better it will feel. I promise."

As Toji crawled over you in your bed, your heart beat against the inside of your chest. You weren't sure if you really wanted this right now, but what were you supposed to do otherwise? If you turned him down, he might lose interest. And with the recent move, losing your friends and your parents never being home, the last thing you wanted was to be alone. Toji had been nothing but nice to you since your first day in the new school. Putting out for him shouldn't be that big of a deal. It's just sex, teenagers do it all the time. But why did it feel so, scary?

After he had started making out with you on the couch, you felt this aching desire in your core that you couldn't explain. When Toji's hand came in between your legs and felt the warm, damp fabric, he said it was time for you two to just break the ice, cause you clearly wanted him in this way.

You stared up at the ceiling in the dark, your eyes trying to focus on anything. Quietly wiping some of the tears from your cheeks, you wondered, was it supposed to hurt? Was it supposed to make you feel, used? You imagined it was supposed to be a little more, romantic. Well, he did say he was bigger than average, and you heard that the first time is kinda painful cause it's new, so, maybe that's all it was. Looking over to Toji, you studied his sleeping form, still embarrassed that the two of you were naked and up against each other. He did have an arm wrapped around your waist, and his fingers held softly into your skin. The smell of sex was still in the air, and it wasn't pleasent as you had always imagined it. You've snuck some romance novels into your collection of books over the past year, curiosity of intimacy pulling you in, cause you wanted to know what it was like to be in a real relationship To be mature and have fun, casual sex like a normal teenager. 

Fucking hormones.

The way the words described how someone's first time might be seemed to be an overdramatic lie now. Maybe it was your own fault for imagining it to play out like some fairytale. You were kind of excited for that big high that seemed to elevate women from this plane of existence, but, it never happened. Toji certainly got his, there was clear evidence of that, a mess he obviously didn't care to clean up from you. Wait, you weren't that ignorant to how babies were made. Oh, fuck. You quickly sat up, breath nearly escaping you as you started to panic. You had already been on your period for a year or so, and obviously that meant you could get pregnant. Pregnant, at 14? What a fucking disgrace you'd be to your parents! You already just started having sex with this guy you recently met. What was wrong with you!? "Oh god, oh god!" You cried out, clutching your hand over your chest as you feared what might be happening inside your body this moment. Toji groaned and looked up at you with an aggravated yet concerned look. "What? What's wrong?" "I-I could be pregnant!" You whined, whole body shaking with that terrible idea. You were too young to have a kid. You'd have to drop out of school, have to figure out how to be a mom, you're be such a degenerate to your family. The humiliation!

"Oh, shit, I meant to give you something for later anyway." He said with little worry, like this wasn't some big deal. He rolled over and sat up from the bed, grabbing his pants from where he tossed them over your desk chair. "Here. Just take this." He offered, handing a small pill to you. "A, drug?" You stammered, looking at it in confusion. "It's a morning after pill. Keeps you from getting pregnant." He gestured with it, and you took it carefully, trying to understand how a pill could stop such a thing. "Why is it called a morning after pill?" "Uh, cause ya' usually take it in the morning after fucking through the night." Your cheeks flashed but you stuffed the pill in your mouth, enough saliva building from your panic that you could just swallow it as is. "And just like that, no problems." He chuckled while  setting his pants back down and messing with something near your desk. He finally got back into bed, his larger form crawling over yours, making you cower down into the blankets as he planted kisses on your neck and chest. "Let's get as much use out of that pill as possible." You tried to smile in want as his hand came up between your legs, preparing you to take him again. You wanted to feel mature and interested in all this, but in reality, it felt off putting. Probably just cause it was new and you weren't used to it. Everyone who ever talked about having sex seemed to not be able to get enough of it. Like it was as needed as eating and drinking was. You just had to get used to it. More practice. So, you certainly weren't going to turn Toji down. At some point you knew you'd have to start loving it as much as everyone else, and how the women in your hidden romance novels loved it. Though you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as pain rattled your lower half. Patience, you just needed patience. Surely, Toji wasn't hurting you on purpose. But you didn't want to make him feel bad and tell him to stop when he was clearly enjoying himself and saying how fucking good you felt. But... It hurt. It fucking hurt so bad. A deep ache in your guts that just seemed to intensify with every passing second. Every pained whimper that escaped your lips was immediately matched with Toji's low groans and deep moans of pleasure. Yet, he'd also plant gentle kisses to your teary cheeks, praising your intimate areas for making him feel so good. It made your heart flutter, but you couldn't stop from digging your nails into his back, silently begging him to hurry up and be done because you felt like you were going to break. He lifted your legs up to his waist, encouraging you to wrap them around his body so he could go even deeper but you internally sobbed at the thought. Of course, you noticed how much more he seemed to enjoy it when he could basically get as much of you as he wanted. You suffered through it for that reason, and that reason only. You liked knowing he was happy, liked knowing you could make him happy. You had his attention and you were doing something that he praised you for.

Unfortunately, you weren't aware of just how many other guys attentions you had in this moment. It might have just been you and Toji alone in the room, but the little camera he had placed on your desk broadcasted this moment to whoever was in his circle. They sent texts to Toji, offering their small wads of cash for a night with you, his new little toy. Some even in groups of two or more, the ones that liked to take turns on a girl's unconscious body. He'd get to them later, deciding who would pay the best, and you'd be none the wiser.

"Good morning, beautiful." Tojis deep voice pulled you from your exhaustion, and your dazed features made him chuckle. "Sleep well?" Your vision focused on him, and you offered a weakened smile. Honestly, no. It feels like your insides were punched for hours, leaving you battered and bruised in a place you couldn't comfort.

But as he gently kissed your lips, and held a hand softly to your cheek, the pain eased up a little. "You are so perfect." He breathed out quietly, moving his lips up to your forehead. Warmth filled your cheeks as he lay next to you, holding you with comfort against his warm body. "Honestly, I've never enjoyed someone as much as you." You wanted to have some witty comeback, that of course you were the best, trying to sound confident, but it was hard to speak right now. Probably because you just started crying. Tojis face softened as you just let your emotions out. "What's wrong?" He asked gently, holding you even closer. "It, it all just hurts. And I'm confused, my head is full of worry." "Worry? About what?" "I don't know." You admitted, tucking your self into Tojis arms. Honestly you didn't know. Everything felt weird. You were supposed to like this, weren't you? You liked him, he definitely liked you too, and he was super hot. So weren't you supposed to be madly in love?

I hope you enjoyed! I'm so sorry this is a week late, life got in the way. I wante this first chapter to only have two parts, but I didn't want this last part to be extremely long, so I decided to make one more part after this. So there will be three in total. The next part will happen this week so Im not so far behind on my personal schedule.

Comments and likes are truly appreciated!! <3

[vampire-sugar]

This is such a loser moment but last night I came home from work tired and feeling sick and my brother had people over for like a small party so like the siblings of people I knew from high school were seeing me in such a gremlin like state and they had all traveled home from college and were going “you moved back? oh…” anyway they were all over the house and blasting music right by my window and I had to be asleep by 10pm bc I had to wake up early for work the next day and it was like 8ish so I said alright why not watch Queen of the Damned to pass the time so I opened my laptop and looked up the movie and right as I was about to press play the colors of my screen got inverted…like my taskbar was inverted and so was my chrome page but not other things anyway I spent so long rebooting my computer reverting back to default settings digging for anything that could be the cause disliking any forum comment that said “just turn the color filter off” bc it was fucking off already that was the problem and I started crying bc all I wanted was to watch QOTD while drinking my ginger tea and pretending there was no party at the house. It took my 2 hours to figure out the cause was some high contrast chrome extension I got years ago that suddenly activated for some reason and I deleted it and went to bed. So that was my experience trying to watch QOTD.

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[the-meme-monarch]

awesome. ive had Nightmares two nights in a row now

[canichangemyblogname]

They keep insisting that what failed in South Africa (partitioning and segregating people into different states on the basis of race & ethnicity, and observing disparate legal and judicial systems on the basis of race & ethnicity) will work in Palestine, as if the insistence on apartheid in Palestine hasn’t ultimately contributed to or helped foster conflict. And as if Palestinians do not live under a single state reality where ultimate control of the land falls to the occupying force— from food imports to where they live to (primarily military) courts to who can govern them. And as if this defacto state solution— the status quo— isn’t designed to systematically deprive them of civil rights.

Permanent, sustained peace necessitates a deviation from the status quo. Two states will not sustain.

[nyxypoo]

someone took my night owlness from me

[ghostwnby]

[neechees]

I love my niece and nephew but my sister literally keeps dumping them with me & expecting me to babysit without paying me despite the fact she has a job, & I'm tired of being treated as free labor for her

[keeps-ache]

souP..

[kiseiakhun]

I was looking up drug interactions for a friend only to find out for the fifth time (forgor) that we still don't know how Tylenol works. We have guesses! Very educated guesses! But the actual mechanism of action is a mystery. That's pretty fucked up I think. It feels wrong. We should know this by now!!!!!!