#very interesting question has me thinking hard
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injury prompt 16 and 22 for reid perhaps... :D Love your writing btw <3
make my heart beat again / spencer reid
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summary. spencer was sad. spencer was miserable. he thought he could handle it until he couldn't anymore. he thought he could deal with it alone until he couldn't.
words count. 2 249
prompt. “Why won’t you let me help you?” “…because I don’t deserve it.” / “You deserve to be helped, I—who told you this?” from here
what to expect. very angsty, spencer is so sad i want to hug him, i chose the mentally injured more than physically, mention of murder very quickly
a/n. ok first thank you so much for requesting it sweetie!! and i'm sorry, i wish i posted it sooner but i started it again to make it shorter and...it's not shorter, but it's here and i hope you will love it (and now i can work on your other request) 🫶
F1 masterlist | general masterlist | request
You weren’t quite sure how everything started again with Spencer.
One day he was a memory of the past, one of your biggest regrets. The next time he was back in your place, like he always belonged there.
You went on a couple of dates a few years ago, and it would be a lie to say your heart didn’t fall for that boy. Sweet, gentle, the nicest man you’ve ever met. And so beautiful with his always so messy hair, his gorgeous brown eyes that always seemed to look at you like you were one of the seven wonders of the world, and that perfectly shaped mouth that you loved to kiss.
You were sure things could have worked out with Spencer if a) his work didn’t take him that much time—and more. b) You didn’t have other issues in your life you had to deal with before thinking about love.
So you ended your relationship, or whatever it was at that time, before it could be more serious. And you spent way too many nights missing Spencer Reid.
The way he would start every date with a fact that could either last a minute or ten and how you could notice the change in his eyes when he noticed you were truly interested in what he was saying. How he was blushing at any physical contact you were initiating, even in bed after he made love to you. Or even how you never said you loved each other, yet the way his lips would stay longer on your shoulder when you were falling asleep was speaking for your feelings.
You never thought Spencer would miss you just as much.
But he spent months contemplating the idea of seeing you again and trying to convince you this could be good. That he could be good for you. But months turned into a year. And when he celebrated his whole single year on the other side of the country, Spencer read into it that maybe he had glorified love. In all its aspects.
And this conclusion haunted him for years.
To the point Spencer stopped meeting new people and was barely trying to stay in touch with those in his life. He wasn’t seeing his mom much; his colleagues noticed the distance he was building between them, and Spencer couldn’t remember the last time he saw his “friends.”
Because at some point, the fear of losing people turned into a feeling of not being good enough to people’s lives and made him a loner. A sad loner.
That was something you immediately noticed the first time you saw Spencer in years.
Your life has barely changed from your last date. Still the same job, but at a higher place. Still the same apartment, but with a different setting. Still the same person, but more mature.
It wasn’t hard for Spencer to find you. And if he spent a whole year contemplating going back to your place before putting that thought away, the day he truly needed it, it took him a minute to decide it was time.
You didn’t question his presence here when you opened the door. Maybe he should have. But when Spencer grabbed your face after you simply said his name with confusion, nothing seemed to matter.
Not his hair longer than before, not him looking more shaped yet more fragile, not the circle under his eyes being way darker than the last time you saw him. Not that he was eagerly kissing you, something he never did.
You remember Spencer being gentle, taking his time to appreciate every second with you.
No, he was hungry, like each second could be the last with you. For him.
“What are you doing here, Spence?” you finally asked him. You were both lying on the rug in your living room. His eyes were locked on the roof, like he was disconnecting from reality. His arm around your back, holding you against him, was brushing your skin slowly, but he seemed to do that mindlessly.
And Spencer didn’t turn his head to look at you when you, you couldn’t stop looking at him. “I needed that.” Not you. You put away the pain hearing that and tried to see the good in this, that you were the one he went to.
But still, something was different with Spencer.
It would take you a few nights to realize he wasn’t blushing anymore when you touched him. Or that he didn’t seem to have a lot to talk about.
Actually, Spencer wasn’t talking much anymore.
For weeks, Spencer would come to your place at night. Either after a day at the office or when he came back from a case. Usually, when it was the latter, he would even stay the following day to fully decompress from what happened.
You tried to question him once or twice. But Spencer always had the same answer: going down on you to keep you quiet with your question.
It was a win-win situation.
He was giving you pleasure and making you think about something else.
He was concentrating on something else, and your moans were filling his head with other thoughts.
Until one night, the sex wasn’t enough to put his problem away.
You didn’t expect Spencer to come. Two days ago, he told you he had to leave for a case and it would probably last a week. Nothing out of the ordinary. But it gave you the time to think about him and where this was going.
Yet, your bell rang at 10 p.m. Let’s say that dating an FBI agent taught you to not open your door to anybody. You almost played dead and ignored it. But your gut told you to look at who it might be.
You didn’t expect to see Spencer through your spyhole.
You certainly didn’t expect to see him cry on the other side of your door.
“Spencer, what’s going on?” you said, opening your door and immediately bringing him inside. The saddest part was that he let you do it. He didn’t stop you when you took him in your arms. Neither when you brought him to the sofa and sat him on it while you kneeled in front of him.
He was shaking; his face looked red from the tears and the scratching he did with his fingers, trying to take the pain away. But it didn’t work. And hurt him even more.
You grabbed one of his hands to take it away from his face. You tried to ease his joints with a soft caress. You even tried to make eye contact, but it was a lost cause with the way he was closing his eyes hardly, probably hurting himself like that. “Talk to me, Spence,” you whispered, putting your chin on his knee. “Open to me.”
You hated how he pinched his lips together before talking, like he was trying so hard to not break down. “I can’t,” he sobbed. He repeated that multiple times, sounding more angry with himself each time.
But the fact he wasn’t letting go of your hand made you believe that maybe a part of him, maybe just a very little one, wanted to have you. He still came to you tonight, right?
“Why won’t you let me help you?”
This was a genuine question. One that grew over the last weeks. Sometimes, you would wake up in the middle of the night wondering which signs you might have missed when he was here. What did he try to hide from you with kisses and attention that you weren’t asking for? And if maybe you weren’t an accomplice of his troubles by accepting all his treats, knowing it was an excuse to keep everything from himself.
And during these moments, you imagined what Spencer might have answered. That he didn’t want his burden to impact your relationship, that he didn’t want to talk to you specifically.
But you never considered what was coming as an answer.
“…because I don’t deserve it.”
The world went silent.
Except for your heart that just fell on the floor and broke into a million pieces.
Except for Spencer’s sorrow being louder than ever in your small living room.
It was obvious that Spencer wasn’t doing ok. But you couldn’t imagine how broken he really was.
You couldn’t force him to look at you and make him see he wasn’t alone at all. So you put your forehead against his, his sweaty hair sticking against your skin. Your arms wrapped against Spencer so you could hold him against him. You couldn’t believe that this grown-up man, in his thirty, could be a broken kid inside. You tried to hold back the tears.
You stayed like that for minutes; you don’t even know how long. This could last an hour or two if he needed to. You probably could have stayed all night if it meant calming Spencer down.
Little by little, you felt his shaking stop and even one of his hands land on your arm. The pressure of his fingers on your skin wasn’t harder, almost like he didn’t have any strength anymore. It was more like a delicate touch. One that reminded you of the old days, when Spencer was too shy to touch you.
Once you felt he was ready to hear this, maybe not listen yet but at least be able to understand what you were saying, you stopped hugging him so you could grab his face in your hands. “You deserve to be helped. I—who told you this?”
You met the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen at this moment. Couple with his sad smile. Oh, how you wished you could just kiss the pain away for once.
“I just…” he started, with a grazed, hoarse voice. “Every person in my life ends up sad or hurt or dead. I’m a problem. I’m a burden. I don’t deserve someone to take the time to help me, be there for me. I can’t risk someone, you, taking the time to make me feel better if it means losing you at some point. I can’t, I can’t do that again.” You heard the sob in his voice at the end.
You opened your mouth to speak, but Spencer gave you the look, one he strangely never gave to you but that you understood immediately, meaning that he still had a lot to say. And deep down, you were happy to shut it if it meant he was finally opening up.
“I was taking care of a kid these days. We knew he might be in danger, so I was supposed to make sure he would be fine while working the case.” Spencer took a moment to continue, but you could only focus on the tear running down his cheek. “He got killed. Because I couldn’t protect him. Everyone around me has something bad happening to them. Even in my job. How can I be such a bad person?”
You started brushing away the tears with your thumb, but Spencer cuddled against your hand. There was something even sadder with this man feeling like he didn’t deserve to have someone yet still craving every attention he could get.
“You’re not a burden, Spencer,” you whispered, and he closed his eyes again. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to go through all these moments by yourself. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be from living such difficult times over and over again. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have someone by your side.”
He didn’t answer. You weren’t sure this was the best decision, but you sat on his knees, trying to be closer to him so you could make him feel less alone.
You thought that if he didn’t want that, he would push you away. But the way Spencer's hands ended up on your back so quickly made you think that maybe he needed that too.
“I can’t and won’t force myself into your life, Spencer, never,” you said, brushing his hair away from his face. “But if you’re ready to try, I can be by your side and help you consider that you deserve to be a supporter. Not only by me but by all the people that love you.”
Again, your words working on him, Spencer opened his eyes slowly. This time, even if the sorrow was still present, there was the smallest and almost slightest light in them. “Because people love you, Spencer Reid.”
As an answer, the only one he could give you, Spencer brought you against him and hugged you as hard as he could. It wasn’t the tightest hug he ever gave, but it was the best he could do. And it was enough. Enough to know that you opened a door in his mind.
You offered your bed to Spencer that night, but he insisted on you staying by your side. He refused to let you know it was due to the fear of the nightmares he had for months now. Nightmares that always had different stories but ended the same way: with him losing someone and being alone.
All he needed was you, and you were willing to give yourself entirely to help him get better.
You didn’t know if you imagined it, but you were sure that when he was falling asleep, holding you against him like an antistress comforter, Spencer thanked you.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid angst#Matthew Gray Gubler#Matthew gray gubler imagine#matthew gray gubler x reader#Matthew gray gubler x you#Matthew gray gubler x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds story#msg#mgg x reader#my writing
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Results of Writing Trade #2!
Trade with: @obstinatejules (actual living angel I think)
Results from the trade!
"To Build a Home" obstinatejules - Chapter 1 - Original Version revna-writes - Chapter 1 - Rewritten Version
"Le Academiae Artes Notoria" revna-writes - Chapter 1 - Original Version obstinatejules - Chapter 1 - Rewritten Version (wow)
overall thoughts
For one, wow, that was super fun. I'm honestly amazed by how well this entire experience lived up to my expectations lol. Part of that is definitely due to obstinatejules being so cool, she was super fun to write with and bounce ideas off of. Plus, I got great material to work with :)
But also, fun aside, it was so helpful??
Writing skills I grew doing this:
Literary analysis and reflection: I spent a long time reading the original and taking notes on a lot of stuff: the characters, their characterization, the plot points, what the piece means, what its themes are, what emotions it is exploring and how, unique aspects of the way it is written, and, 'what unique aspects can I introduce to accentuate and build on this foundation?'
Slice of life / fluff / fanfic genres: I don't have a lot of experience in these worlds, and It was really cool learning about specific phrases, tropes, ways of description, etc., and how to combine them to really make the piece live up to its genre
2nd Person Perspective: very new for me. It has its own considerations- for example, it's much more intimate for the reader, which is both its greatest strength and weakness.
Present tense: as a limited 3rd person past tense girlie, swapping to present tense was hard!! But also really interesting. There really are tense-specific ways to express things that do not work in past tense, and it was fun playing around with those & learning how to make present tense work for me. There is absolutely a different feel to the writing, and as steeped in past tense as I am, I didn't really realize it could make a big difference. I'm excited for the day when I choose to make a story present tense as an artistic choice because of the things unique to it.
Communication skills: Throughout this process with the chapter trades, you know, I'm talking to a bunch of different people with a bunch of different backgrounds, across multiple different generations. So, I'm having to figure out ways for each person to best connect with them, assess our expectations for what's going down, and then also our timeframe, what chapters we want to trade, and then any questions we may have about each other's piece. It's been really good to get me out of my shell, and also, it's helped me relax a little bit and communicate 'more effectively'.
There's also some more nebulous things, like, being intimately introduced to the way someone else writes fundamentally shifts the way I write ever so slightly. I am introduced to brand new ideas, new narrative techniques, new word choices for the same ideas and emotions, and I'm introduced to these in a way that is so much different than how I would see them as a reader.
Anyway, that's enough rambling from me lol.
Writing Trade!!
Hear ye, hear ye, it's time for a writing trade!
How It Works
You DM me, "I'd like to trade!" (or anything else that indicates you want to participate!)
We exchange chapters. I send you a link to mine, you send me a link to yours, we read each other's chapter.
We each re-write the other's chapter! In our own style, with our own approach, but hitting all the same plot points with the same characters.
We exchange the re-written chapters!
Okay but what's the point?
It's a great way to develop your skills!
You get to see how someone else would handle the same story!
You get to share and talk about your story (critically!!) with another author!!
We get to have fun together!! with writing!! (:o?!?!)
I want to do this with someone so BAD, hfdgkjfngkfd!!!! Seriously y'all i am FIENDING to do some cute writing trades.
If you are interested, please DM me!
#writing community#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writeblr#creative writing#writing#writing trade
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We've discussed it with the Scrooges, it only seems pertinent to extend it to our DA couples.
What do we think it was like the first time Emmrich popped a surprise erection around Wifey?
Aaaaah, yes. Hehehe.
Listen, the man is a gentleman with his brushes and razors and fine dressing gowns, but he's still human. Very human, very red-blooded, and very fascinated by the woman who has just inspired such a reaction from him. It's been a while since he's seen anyone serious, after all. ;)
I think it poses an interesting question ... when is the first time it happens at all, and when is the first time Wifey notices it?
I don't want to speak for Guinevere, but I can definitely imagine it happening quite early. After all, these Raven lovebirds move at a pretty fast pace with their first date and second date being pretty spicy (I read your ask like 'DAMN, good for them!'). Does it happen during their first kiss? Hmm. Emm may be a little too seasoned for a kiss to get him at full-mast, so to speak.
Emm strikes me as a guy who won't get that aroused until there is some deeper feeling. Once he starts to think she's the one? THAT really gets him going, in my mind.
What do you see for G'iney, in your mind?
For Isma specifically, I have an hc that it's two separate occasions.
The first time ever is when she slips into the water and he dives in without a second thought to retrieve her.
He pulls her ashore, and she's clinging to him. She's wet (all over, haha), breathless, trembling, and her face is incredibly close to his. When she does look up at him, her expression is one of blissed out relief. "Oh...thank you, Emmrich."
It's a painful throb in that moment, when he realizes how badly he wants her. Also, there's guilt. She nearly drowned, and now his anatomy is betraying him by getting hard at the aftermath of the ordeal?! He's nearly ashamed, and pulls away before she can notice.
The first time it happens and she notices? It's after their dinner date. Where he scolds her favorite non-color, lmao.
When they kiss after the meal, I imagine she's pressed back in that chair while he deepens the touch. He leans in, and when she starts gasping his name, she feels it. At first, she thinks it's some Watcher ornament or mage totem on him, but...nope.
Sensing her surprise, he readies himself to pull away, but Isma's hands quickly seize his shoulders.
"It's just ... been a while," she tells him softly, shyly, "Since a man has done that for me. I don't mind. I-I quite like it, actually. I'd also like if we could keep kissing, maybe?"
They don't go all the way (that happens in the coffin for her, haha) but her knee does find a very pleasant spot against his crotch, and the necking that follows is quite superb.
Btw, I'm curious of your opinion: I do see a lot of people hc that Emm and their Rook consummate their relationship on the dinner date rather than the coffin. I think it's fascinating so many people came to that conclusion. i like it. actually, but for Isma, I think he first time with him is in the crypt. (Sorry for the chill, girl.)
#datv spoilers#emmrich x rook#emmrich volkarin#emmrook#emmrook headcanons#ask#quill-pen#rook guinevere vynhalsyne#rook belisma ingellvar
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AHEM. Dooku for 2/3 and 18, 25? Or dealer's choice? Anything you like 👀👀👀👀👀
OH HEY FRIEND :D Thank you so much!!! I answered the first two here <3 <3 but I kind of went wide with 25 so I pulled in some dealer's choice. :D Couldn't resist.
18 How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
It was so tempting to write you a Sifo-Dyas essay here. Please accept this coupon for one unhinged Sifo-Dyas manifesto, to be redeemed at a time of your choosing. <3
But today, I’m thinking about Mace and Dooku. God, there’s a part in that Shatterpoint novel where Mace obsesses over the fact that he could have killed Dooku on Geonosis - he could have gone for Dooku’s head instead of Jango’s, and how much death and suffering would he have saved? And the fact that he didn’t, he went after Jango, not because he didn’t realize the importance of that decision, but for the plain fact that he didn’t want to kill Dooku.
I think two things are so interesting here - of course, I love the way that Mace vouches so hard for Dooku in AotC, and I love all that implies about the personal relationship and respect as colleagues between them. All that it hints about Dooku's post-exit relationship with the Jedi Order.
I also think it’s interesting that the questions doesn't seem to be if Mace could kill Dooku.
Here’s the part where I just pornographically imagine the duel between Mace’s Vaapad and Dooku’s Makashi and make uncomfortable noises. Arguably the two most aggressive forms, I think that fight would be insane. Mace is 6’2/1.88m, while Dooku has a few inches on him, Mace is younger and very powerfully built, so Dooku isn’t going to get his usual default “I can just reach further than you” advantages. Also, the way Mace dominates the terrain - I’m thinking of his duel in Sidious’s office - is going to be a big problem for our Count, who thrives on space in a fight and carefully balancing Makashi’s more delicate aspects with his ability to control the environment via the Force - ie, drop pieces of the architecture on his opponents heads. Cool fucking fight, cooler what-if.
What does the Separatist movement he just started look like if Dooku is captive or martyred?
25? What was your first impression of [Dooku]? How about now?
Well, my VERY first impression of this character was quite negative. Like many fans, I was enraged to find that we were getting this character and not Sith lady concept art (who would turn out to be future Asajj). Old man Sith?! Who used to be a Jedi? NO WE HAVE OLD MAN SITH WHO USED TO BE A JEDI AT HOME.
But when I first became a Dooku maniac, I spent a lot of time working backwards trying to find the actual good person the monster used to be. What was the dramatic tipping point, how much was Qui-Gon’s death a factor, how could Dooku’s fall have been stopped or redeemed?
Now the more fascinating part to me is how an actually good person becomes a monster. To me, that’s actually started to be more interesting than my old fascination with finding some big reason. I love the almost ordinary factors in his slide toward darkness - loneliness, depression, helplessness, the unwanted child compulsive urge to impress the wrong people, plain old sunk cost fallacy. He can be a surprisingly uncommitted Sith. He chains himself to Sidious.
Someone once summed up my one true fix-it fic, “Five Days to Murder Sifo-Dyas,” as “Sifo-Dyas saves Dooku using only the power of his dick,” and while that's funny, they’re right. I really think any very simple change in Dooku’s story could have got him back on track. The fascinating fact is, it didn’t. Dooku's missed connection with his own humanity and goodness.
Talking further about impressions of the character, although maybe this gets into 6. What's something you have in common with this character? territory, is that I’ve grown up with Dooku. Getting into Dooku when I was a kid and now liking the character as an adult, I realize I relate to him fundamentally differently now vs then.
Dooku and I don’t share a lot of personality traits, and I’m nowhere near his age in the films, but now I’ve been a teacher, I know how that rewires your brain. I know what it’s like to be a whole ass adult, but still meaningfully reckoning with your own ugly origin story. And god, am I fucking worried about the end of the world. His problems feel so much more real to me now.
I think both he and Sifo-Dyas have a core trait of “oh my god, what’s happening, why doesn’t everyone else SEE this, I have to do SOMETHING” driving their characters’ actions. And while I obviously don’t agree with either of their actions, I think that’s never been more relatable to me than now in 2025.
#THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME YAP <3 <3 YOU ARE THE BEST KING#god I love this bad old man#dooku#ask game
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⟡ - how they would react to your bad cooking - ateez
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝𓆟𓆝
⋅ synopsis - just how ateez would react if they had to try your terrible cooking…
⋅ pairing - ateez x gn!reader
⋅ genre - crack, fluff
⋅ warning - I don’t think there’s any warnings. If there is let me know :))
word count: 1k
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↳ kim hongjoong 🐿️
Hongjoong takes a bite, and you immediately see his jaw tense. He tries so hard to keep a neutral face, but the way he slowly nods while chewing makes it obvious that he’s struggling.
“Hmm, interesting… you know, I’ve had some bad food in my time, but this…” he pauses, looking at his plate as if questioning reality, “this takes the crown.”
You pout. “Is it that bad?”
“Let’s just say it’s a new experience…” he says looking at your pouty face. “No worries though. I’ll survive” he pushes another spoonful into his mouth almost gagging “so good” he hugs the plate not letting anyone take it.
↳ park seonghwa 🐰
Seonghwa takes a delicate bite, then suddenly freezes. His eyes dart to the others, desperately hoping someone else will save him. After a deep breath, he forces a smile and nods.
“It’s, um… it’s really… unique,” he says, his voice dripping with hesitation. “In a good way, of course.”
You raise an eyebrow. “You’re not fooling anyone.”
Seonghwa flinches. “What? No! It’s perfect! I love how… unpredictable it is. Very bold.”
He then glances around the room as if looking for an escape. When you turn your head, you catch him feeding tiny bites to Wooyoung under the table.
“Seonghwa!” you gasp.
“I’m just making sure Wooyoung eats well!” he defends, smiling innocently.
↳ jeong yunho 🐶
Yunho, expecting it to be the best for he’s ever tried, takes a big enthusiastic bite—only for his entire body to freeze. His soul ascends. His eyes widen slightly in betrayal. (he has the look from when he had that brain freeze on live)
But, being Yunho, he forces a giant smile. “So good! Haha! Wow!” he says, giving you a thumbs-up.
“Really?” you ask. You squint at him. “Do you actually like it?”
He’s still chewing, tears forming in his eyes. “No. I like that you made it!”
↳ kang yeosang ⭐️
Yeosang takes a bite, and for a split second, his expression screams regret. But almost immediately, he schools his face into a blank expression. You catch the tiniest twitch of his lips as he forces himself to swallow, but he quickly smiles up at you.
“It’s good,” he says.
You tilt your head. “You hesitated.”
He shakes his head, avoiding eye contact. “No, I didn’t. It’ths thso goodth” he said not being able to swallow the food.
“You’re lying.”
Still not making eye contact, he shoves another bite into his mouth like a martyr. “No, I’m… yeah..” he says in defeat spitting out the chewed food that was building up in his mouth.
↳ choi san ⛰️
San takes one bite and immediately coughs, pushing his plate away dramatically. “Are you trying to kill me?” he exclaims, his voice rising.
You glare. “It’s not that bad. You’re exaggerating!” you protest.
He points at the food. “Then YOU eat it.”
You hesitate. San gasps. “YOU KNEW.”
↳ song mingi 🦖
Mingi takes a bite and freezes, staring at his plate as if it personally offended him. He looks up at you with wide eyes, then looks back at the food as if it might somehow change.
He coughs dramatically, almost choking. “I think… I think I just lost my appetite for the rest of my life.”
You’re about to speak, but Mingi is already shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I really am. But this… this is an assault on my taste buds.”
“Don’t hold back,” you deadpan.
“Never have I been so betrayed,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’ll be in my room… questioning my entire existence.” Then he stands up and leaves the room.
↳ jung wooyoung 🦊
Wooyoung takes a bite, and without missing a beat, he chokes on it. He tries to swallow but then bursts out laughing, though it’s a laugh tinged with shock.
“What the—WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THIS?!” he yells, pushing his plate away like it personally offended him.
“Excuse me?!” you huff.
“What is this?!” he says, looking at you as if you’ve just handed him a mystery package. “Did you actually cook this? Or did you just throw random ingredients together and call it a meal?”
You just glare at him. He then said flicking his invisible hair back “you know if you needed help cooking you could’ve said so”
You were about to start fighting him “next time I’ll just poison your food”
“Oh no your not aloud back in the kitchen” next thing he knew, you were jumping on him choking him.
↳ choi jongho 🐻
Jongho, always the straight shooter, takes one bite and doesn’t even bother hiding his reaction. His face scrunches up in complete disbelief. He stares at you, dead in the eyes, and calmly says, “This is disgusting.”
You gasp. “Jongho!”
He shrugs, unfazed. “You asked for my opinion, didn’t you?” He shakes his head slowly. “This is worse than anything I’ve ever tasted in my life.”
“You’re overreacting,” you mutter.
He looks you dead in the eyes. “If you served this in a restaurant, they’d shut it down immediately.”
“You’re being dramatic-”
“Am I?” He gestures to the plate. “Would you eat this?” You look at the plate then back at him. Jongho scoffs. “Exactly.”
You can’t even respond as Jongho gets up and walks away, muttering to himself, “I need a drink.” Grabbing the nearest whiskey “unbelievable”
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a/n: sorry for my low activity I have exams coming up and everything’s just stressful. So here’s a quick one hope you enjoy it. Love ya 💗.
#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#park seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong#kim hongjoong#choi san#choi san x reader#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung#jung wooyoung#mingi x reader#song mingi#mingi#jongho#choi jongho#jongho x reader#yeosang x reader#yeosang#kang yeosang#yunho x reader#jeong yunho#yunho
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@storm-ismyusername
The idea that the grandparents are so awful that Sarah & Thomas aren’t horrified when their Dad murders them says SO MUCH. (I guess the kids now know Very Clearly what their Dad went through and how he ended up like that.)
Welllll, it's less that their grandparents were completely horrible to them and more the desensitization to death that all citizens of Hell go through, plus the relief of no longer being stuck in that environment. Tom and Sarah's time with them wasn't torturous, just physically and emotionally exhausting. It was such a sharp pivot from being normal suburban kids to going to Hell and having to work for everything (even their relatives' affection) that any sort of return to normalcy was welcome, even if it came through violent means.
How would Vox find out about this situation? How ENRAGED would Vox be when he found out his parents were reenacting his childhood trauma on his kids?
Honestly, it wouldn't be hard for Vox to find out. Once he starts to break into the entertainment industry, it'd be easy to just happen upon or hear about a little theater that has an act that seems a bit too familiar to him and whoops, it's murder time. Tbh, despite his bad experience with it, Vox actually likes theater (or at least appreciates the skill/work that goes into live performances), so he could've feasibly realized what was going on halfway through watching the show.
Vox is a weird, hypocritical guy. I don't think he's against child labor on principle or would even admit that his own childhood was abusive, but ever since they were born, he's been very adamant about his own kids having "normal" childhoods. Part of it is his obsession with social status/norms (he needs to be The Best = society says that children should grow up in actual homes and shouldn't have to work = his children should grow up in an actual house and shouldn't have to work), but there's also a more human part of him that freaks the fuck out at the idea of his kids having to grow up like he did. He had a visceral internal reaction to his dad half-jokingly asking if he was going to get Tommy into the family business mere hours after he was born. He can't even articulate why that interaction gave him a mini-panic attack mixed with rage– it just did. So actually watching that fear be realized despite his best efforts to prevent it... it's not pretty.
Wonder what kind of role and show Sarah could be in? Does she develop genuine interest in theatre or singing after her experience?
Sort of. She discovers that she does enjoy performing for fun (not for work, though), but because of her experience, she now feels like she should be "earning her keep," even though she's. you know. eight. and in Hell. Vox doesn't really interrogate this new interest of Sarah's very hard, partially because he's not a very empathetic person and partially because it mirrors his own experience so closely that he doesn't even think to question it.
Ondine doesn't have a lot of variation in the kind of roles she plays. She's always a precious little girl of some kind because, well, that's all she can be due to her eternal youth. She's very at-home on sitcoms, although those aren't the only shows she's in. She has a view skewed perception of what life as an actor is like though since she's the producer's daughter and is always treated 1000 times better than any of the other cast members.
Are the kid’s personalities affected by their ordeal?
Not significantly. Ondine's a little more outgoing because of it and Fineas is a bit more introverted.
Wow, Vox’s fragile pride is so enormous that he forces his kids to relive his own childhood trauma. So pathetic and cowardly.
To be fair to Vox, the main reason why he made that choice was because he felt that if he brought his children under Lantana's roof, none of them would ever get out. The "my kids might not respect me anymore if they see me like this" thing was more of an underlying motive. He doesn't leave the kids with his parents for months/years after being rescued by Alastor like he does in the Cannibal Town scenario. He'll allow his kids to eat people in order to protect his ego, but he draws the line at child labor. Vox is a weird guy.
The shared custody situation sounds hilarious, can we explore that more? So would Sarah & Thomas have visitations with Vox every weekend? Would Vox & Helen try and make their schedules fit so the kids won’t be alone in their apartments? Once Vox gained Overlord status would he kill Helen, give her a penitent & stick her in a decent apartment so the kids could still bust her, or leave her on the streets?
I have no idea how this scenario would work, honestly. It's not entirely out of character since this would all be going on in Vox's early days, before he became his worst self, but I still struggle to come up with ways this could feasibly work without taking an abrupt turn for the dark. It's really for the best that Vox and Queenie never see each other again. Neither of them are going to play nice in the long run and it'll just end with the kids even more traumatized than they already are.
It would be funny if Alastor wanted super friendly and nice to Helen to spite Vox.
Oh, 100%. In any scenario where they meet and he knows that she's Vox's ex, Alastor treats Helen like a queen (except for that one RAM scenario where he casually kills her but shhhh).
@storm-ismyusername
Okay, so, the "Vox's kids die as children AU." I came up with the image of Vox keeping his kids in a fish tank first, but upon further reflection, I've realized that it doesn't really line up with the timeline I've established.
Vox's children were 7 and 10 when he died (1957)
Vox worked under an overlord for 3 years after his death before he broke free, started his own business, and met Alastor (1960)
He and Alastor were friends for 6 years until they fell out (1966)
Vox gained official overlord status 2 years later (1968). By the time Vox had the resources for the fish tank plan, his kids would've been 18 and 21.
The only window of time where Thomas and Sarah can die and still be children is 1957-1961, so it would have to happen when Vox was still in the employ of his overlord. I actually think the idea of struggling single dad Vox is really charming, so let's go with that.
With that background, I'm not sure if Vox would feel the need to do the fish tank thing since they went 15 years with nothing going wrong. Maybe it exists, but Sarah and Thomas aren't confined to it 24/7. Everyone already knows they exist, so they're allowed to move around the tower as they please (they are absolutely not allowed to go outside, though).
Okay, with that out of the way, onto the responses. Gonna answer this in parts: this one is the pre-canon stuff, the next will be the canon stuff, and the third will be RAM stuff.
Ondine & Fineas where they die as kids: How does child Sarah and Thomas react to: 1-Dying 2-Going to Hell 3-Reuniting with your dead Dad (who now has a TV for a head) Would any of their Sinner features be different? Is it weird I can see Vox being more fatherly to Sarah and Thomas than he was in his human life? So when Sarah & Thomas die as kids does Vox find them before or after his big fight with Alastor? If before, what would Alastor make of the situation? How long does Sarah and Thomas fend for themselves in Hell? A few days, a few weeks, a month, a year? Did someone find the first? Did Vox only learn his kids were in Hell when someone was using them as blackmail against him? Did Sarah and Thomas watch as their father brutally murder their kidnapper in front of them? Maybe another Overlord (like Carmilla, Zestial, or Rosie) found them and gave them to Vox because they felt threatening children was beneath them and drew the line at hurting kids. Wait what if Alastor found them first? What would he do with them if he did?
Okay, so Sarah and Thomas die somewhere between 1958 and 1959. They still drowned, maintaining their aquatic theming, but I'm not sure how exactly– could've been from their mother driving under the influence and crashing the car through a bridge's guardrails, could've been just regular drowning at the beach or something. Their mother survives, so they land in Hell alone (I have no idea what an 8~9 and 11~12-year-old could've done to get sent to Hell, but let's just move on).
Not sure how Vox finds them. In the main AU, they found him by recognizing his voice in an advertisement and seeking him out, but at this point, Vox is just some random nobody. Let's just assume he got extremely lucky and happened to come across them 1-30 days after they first arrived but before anyone else thought to scoop them up. Vox is horrified that they're dead and in Hell and privately swears to permakill his wife for letting this happen if he ever sees her again. He brings them back to his shitty little apartment and starts trying to figure out how the fuck he's supposed to care for children in Hell.
Despite the circumstances, Vox is actually a better father in Hell than he was on Earth. He has nothing to his name other than a shitty errand boy job, a tiny apartment, and his two small children, who he thought he'd never see again. While the stress of having to provide for them is a beast, losing everything sort of forced him to get his priorities in order. They become far more tight-knit than when they were alive, as Vox is forced to spend more time with them and get creative when it comes to meeting their needs.
It's all quite the adjustment for Thomas and Sarah. Dying and trying to survive on the streets was as traumatizing as you'd expect. Reuniting with your dead dad and having to adjust to living in poverty is also a lot to take in. Every day, they're stuck in a one-room apartment with gunshots constantly going off outside and explicit instructions from their father to be as quiet as possible and not open the door for anyone– very different from the upper-middle-class suburbanite life they were used to. Eventually, their dad will come home with cheap food, they'll spend time together for a while, and then they all curl up together in their singular bed and try to sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat. It's not a comfortable life, but it's definitely more intimate than how things used to be. Thomas starts letting go of some of his resentment of Vox since he can tell he's actually trying now, and Sarah's view of him as A Good Dad, Actually solidifies.
Eventually, Vox secretly kills his overlord, starts his first business, and is taken under Alastor's wing. Things become more comfortable for the three of them, and Alastor becomes something akin to a weird, kind of fun uncle to the kids. Things are looking up for the family as Vox starts to build power and wealth. It's horrifying for the kids when Vox comes home one night without a head and swears revenge on Alastor, but that incident only adds to Vox's upward momentum. After ten years of struggling in Hell, Thomas and Sarah (or rather, Fineas and Ondine) find themselves back in the lap of luxury as their father claims the title of the Overlord of Television.
#oc posting#not super satisfied with some of the writing here#but i wanted to get at least one draft done today
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Sorry, it's me again. There's this thing that has been...whispering in the back of mind since I read this post for the first time. Nigel wrote: "... I removed a rat's heart and pretended to be disgusted" Why on earth would he feel the necessity to PRETEND to be disgusted in front of Alex?
I've taken a minute to answer this because it's a very good question but difficult and complicated to answer within the context of the film. For those who aren't sure what you're referring to, please see this post transcribing Nigel's notes.
The short answer is: I don't think the people making the props were entirely consistent with the character as scripted. I think most likely they were given some general directives (such as "make sure it highlights the words "egocentric megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur") Outside those few directives, they just sort of let their poetic license run free, injecting their own ideas of a what a "fucked up weird guy who dissects animals" would say into the text, and creating a different version of Nigel than the movie presents us with. The worst example of that is the newspaper article in Alex's book--which doesn't make ANY sense in the context of the film. No one really expected crazy fans to obsessively pause the movie and use photo enhancing techniques frame by frame to determine what was written in his journals or the text of the article, so I think there was a lot of leeway and perhaps some laziness when it came to the props.
It's hard for me to come up with an IN character justification for Nigel to have written that, because it doesn't gel with my observations of him as presented in the film. The journal entry itself is written before he is kidnapped by Alex and the dynamic of their relationship shifts. This IS the entry that made Alex angry enough to kidnap him and teach him a lesson in the first place. This is the Nigel who barely responds to Alex's confrontational anger over the dissection in the dorm room, the Nigel who seems to be completely unmoved by or even very aware of how his actions might impact others. He doesn't care enough to even consider what effect he has on others, and even if/when he is aware, I sincerely doubt he'd bother to *pretend* anything. Nigel doesn't seem interested in pretending to be anything other than what he is, a defining trait that causes him a lot of problems.
Later in the movie, Nigel does shift a bit into a more puckish role. He fucks with Alex in a variety of ways, very noticeably in the train scene when they're going to visit his secret room. He's playful, mischievously antagonistic, poking and prodding Alex and seeming to enjoy his discomfort. This demeanor is more in line with the kind of guy who might write about deliberately messing with his roommate's head. But I still don't know why he would feign disgust in the middle of the dissection given that he's been dissecting animals regularly and Alex would have no reason to think he's grossed out by it.
I suppose if we apply that puckish attitude backward and say that Nigel was already trying to mess with Alex even before the kidnapping, we could sort of squint our eyes and imagine him being very over the top Fake Disgusted as he waves the heart around in Alex's direction. I still don't find that very likely, but it's the best I've got.
If you wanted to, you could use this as part of a theory that Nigel was the real instigator all along and had been intending/planning to manipulate Alex from the moment he was transferred to the school and forced to share a room. In such a reading of the film, all of his behavior could be seen as pretense in some way, including his initial lack of reaction to Alex--calculated to rile Alex up, put him off balance, etc.
I don't personally buy in to that interpretation, just as I don't buy into Alex being the sole instigator. I think either reading ascribes far too much power and control to these teenagers, however intelligent and manipulative they may be. But if you want to go that route, here's a supporting piece to add to your puzzle.
Thanks for the ask and I hope this rambling mess makes at least some sense!
EDIT: please read my reblog of this post. @silhioutte pointed out the very obvious mis-read of this line.
[Like Minds Masterpost - Main]
#the things i do instead of my actual job#like minds#nigel colbie#alex forbes#murderous intent#like minds 2006#like minds analysis
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Triple question here (started as one, then I got to thinking).
We've all seen Bhaalist Drow (that man can get it), but what would an Absolutist Drow look like? How'd he turn out if he controls the Elder Brain?
Alternatively, what would the dynamic between Bhaalist Drow and Ascended Astarion be like? Or AA and non-Bhaalist drow?
This is kind of a cop-out, but the supposed aftermath of the "control the brain" endings are really boring to me 😭 don't get me wrong, the actual cinematics and lines since patch 7 are AWESOME, but I can't think of any interesting followups after you become the literal absolute leader of the whole Sword Coast, y'know? Maybe that's a failure on my part.
Which is why in DU drow's evil ending I canonize that he can't fully control the brain with the stones - but he can keep it UNDER control and therefore uses it as a bargaining chip to further his own political games on the long-run and govern with fear.
Regardless of alignment, post-amnesia DU drow is always strongly opposed to the concept of the Absolute and relying on a more powerful force to achieve his goals (besides his own father). He used to be on-board with it pre-game, but that changes after everything that happens during the campaign and ESPECIALLY once he finds out how Orin used it to take him down.
So, basically, it's hard for me to come up with an answer to your first question because that would have to be a very different character. There isn't really a version of himself where he becomes that specific brand of evil without Bhaal's influence - even without Shadowheart or Jaheira to lead him down a slightly better path, a redemptive DU drow is more likely to become a full on murderer and cannibal rather than want to strip the earth of the ability to fight back - that's half the fun of it, after all.
As for Ascended Astarion, that's another branching path in this story that I'm still planning on exploring 😇 similarly to how we occasionally dip into the Bhaalist timeline for the drow.
An universe where both AA and Bhaalist DU drow exist would be tricky, since AA gives a tav the ultimatum of either being turned into his spawn or ending the relationship. I realize I could retcon this, but I don't want to - it feels core to that version of his character to want to have control over his partner IMMEDIATELY, and take the rejection as a betrayal. "Normal" DU Drow would never accept to be turned into a vampire spawn - Bhaalist DU drow would take the offer alone as an insult, not to mention do everything in his power to keep Astarion from ascending in the first place.
So, a romantic relationship between Bhaalist DU drow and Ascended Astarion simply wouldn't survive. In fact, I think they would very shortly after kill each other because of the ever-competing size of their egos.
Things wouldn't work too differently between normal DU drow and Ascended Astarion, save for the fact that DU would leave him alive and (hopefully) vice-versa. The person he fell in love with isn't there anymore and now encompasses everything he finds most irritating and off-putting - the exuberance, the pompousness, the thinly veiled desperation - he would lose his patience with AA right off the bat and from that point on they could hardly be in the same room together. Fortunately, Shadowheart and Jaheira would be around to keep DU drow from going off the deep-end after that.
There is one timeline where Ascended Astarion could really thrive, though:
I haven't gone much into the third possible outcome for a Dark Urge yet, but it is one where A.Astarion proposition would seem a lot harder to turn down - if not be the only choice he has left.
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Religion is bad now, just because???
I find it pretty funny and sad that of the very few people Bells Hell's actually asked and genuinely interacted with about what they should do who had ties to the gods. It was the Mighty Nein and all three of Caduceus, Yasha and Fjord talked about how much they meant to them and helped them.
Caduceus even going so far to say that he asks them to do, "What's kind".
Fast forward to the finale and Laudna is confused and even angry that people are mad at them stating they "saved them". As well as Ashton literally insulting them essentially calling them lazy for "Not wanting to work on themselves" as a person who had barely began to work on themselves.
These people are not kind they're not heroes, they are the villains when all things are considered. I wish the campaign would have highlighted/explored these themes more because right now it just feels like unearned self righteousness with minimal consequences or push-back from the world they just dismantled (for the worse imo but that's for another long form post).
It's hard for me to root and agree with the perspective of a group of people who barely interacted with religion. This should have been a significant element of the plot for the campaign but was somehow rarely engaged with by the party and yet they claim to be the heroes for mortals? So of course it makes sense Laudna is confused, she and frankly the rest of BH are genuinely unaware of what they did or even why they did it, even if conceptually some of them understand it.
It's like watching a child come into a gallery and destroy all the art because of a negligent parent. Then when confronted you're told by that parent "It's okay they don't understand what they're doing, it'll be fine" with no chance for a resolution.
For many of us as longtime viewers, we have a plethora of previous content that has shown religion in Exandria as a generally neutral/if not positive element. So many of us are sort of confused as we're being told actually it's bad and needs to change without really showcasing why and the people who did it just get to live happily ever after.
C3's biggest crime to me was despite focusing on plot so much at the detriment of the characters, we rarely ever explored the dozens of interesting elements that something this big should touch on. In fact many of those elements only got slightly touched on in supplemental content when answering questions outside of the game and the others either were ignored or shrugged off until the very end of the campaign.
I say all of this as a long time atheist too so I don't even particularity have any connection to religion myself. I don't even mind how it all ends up as a concept I just think they never sold to me (and many others it seems) why we should agree or care.
It was an ocean sized plot with the depth of a puddle.
#critical role#crspoilers#cr spoilers#bells hells#mighty nein#cr campaign 3#fjord stone#yasha nydoorin#caduceus clay#laudna#ashton greymoore
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Severance - two in one
With the developments in the Mark S / Helena relationship in 204 we've seen the debate begin to really hot up regarding the ethical questions of having two people inhabiting one body - what that means for bodily autonomy, consent and freedom. All of which are nuanced and complex, and despite how hard we might want to boil them down to a binary good/bad explanation, I don't think it's actually possible. These questions are way too big for that.
But one reflection I wanted to offer is around the conscious / subconscious dichotomy presented in the show. Ben Stiller, Dan Erikson, and all of our actors talk about how both the Innies and Outies share a subsconscious. That this is where things bleed through - and Irving B's dreams are the key example of that. When he falls asleep in the office, these are the moments when elements from his Outie life bleed through - most catastrophically (or wonderfully depending on your perspective) in 204 following a full night of sleep and that incredible nightmare that pushes him into action. The subconscious could also be understood as the seat of instinct, personality, and drive - and again, we see this reflected in the behaviour of both Innies and Outies.
However, alongside this conscious / subconscious separation (in which we might better describe the status of the severance procedure as creating two consciousnesses in one person), we also have an memory / emotion separation. Petey talks about Mark S coming into the office with red eyes. He describes the process as "you carry the hurt with you, you feel it down there too. You just don't know what it is." So the concept is that severance cuts out memories - specific ones to the person, not the memory of which US states are which, or how to tie their shoelaces - but not emotions. So emotional hurt is carried from Outie to Innie and vice versa. But this also will extend to other emotions - love, fulfillment, satisfaction.
This rings extremely true to me as someone who works with elderly people, and often people with dementia. This is only a very superficial description of how some dementias can work, but in general terms these people are increasingly cut off from their memories, firstly short term memory, and then those longer term memories all the way back to forgetting how to die their shoelaces. This is why you might speak to a person who can't remember what they had for breakfast, and yet can remember in crystal clarity the picnic they had with their brother when they were seven. For these people, similarly to our fictional Innies and Outies, emotional memory isn't similarly cut off. These two parts of the brain are separated already. The hippocampus (memory) is separate from the amygdala (emotion), and feelings can be retained while the source of those feelings are forgotten.
This is one (of many) reasons why it's so important to continue to support, visit and love those we know who have dementia. Because although the source memory may immediately fade, the love remains. The feeling of safety and stability stays.
I just love that we have a show out there right now doing what Science Fiction can do best, exploring a real world concept in a fictional world that allows a new perspective on that exploration.
So severance might be:
Two identities / one person
Two consciousnesses / one subconscious
Two memory stores / one emotional core
Or an interesting combtination of all three. And the core question remains of course, as it always has, 'what makes a person'?
Bring on the nuance.
#severance#severance meta#severance spoilers#mini-essay on the nature of memory#dementia#working with people suffering from dementia can be extremely hard but also extremely rewarding#and i just want to underline for all people everywhere the abiding and transformative power of emotion and most especially love#and of course i carry that in a christian context because i'm a priest and what else am i going to do#but whether you have a spiritual / religious context or not the heart of this remains the same#love transcends
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someone took my night owlness from me
#☆— yapping#so sleepy and it's only 1 am#i've been sleepy all day today#more so than usual unfortunately#kept taking naps at like 9 am 10 am 11 am 2 pm#probably some other times too but yeah#i could not stay awake for the life of me#took a 20 minute nap that i just woke up from#and now idk what to do#raging headache all day today tho#worse than normalll#it truly feels like my head being pounded into the wall#i need to think of an answer for zevie too#very interesting question has me thinking hard#but my brain cant work rn#oh well that's what the weekends for anyways#gonna sleep for half the day yippeee#hopefully hopefully#maybe gn idk might pass out rn
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪♫#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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This is a pretty dumb question, but you're an interesting person so I'd like to see your perspective on it. I realize people tend to give flack to people in the fandom who enjoy games made by Deck Nine, due to their games usually suffering from the same issues and because the studio itself has the Nazi and sexual harassment allegations ehich are of course problematic. I don't think people who like DE and True Colors deserve harassment, you and other people definitely don't deserve harassment. If anything you seem to have far more grace and give it to far more than other people have. I guess I'm really wondering how do you go about navigating the conversation that is Deck Nine? Do you think it's s good idea to seperate the art and the artist, or do you have an alternate interpretation of it?
hello! thank you so much for the question ( which is not at all dumb, by the way! ), because i think deck nine’s mistreatment of employees is important to address whether one likes their lis games or not. i’ll preface this by saying that i rarely ever get involved in behind the scenes production for medias i consume, mostly because it never enriches or devalues the experience for me. there are, of course, interesting things to discern from the creators ; you can easily find out why maybe the latter half of a story fell flat, or why certain characters disappeared, and a bunch of fun little details like that … but that extra knowledge is merely icing on the cake for me, rather than a part of the cake itself. while the people behind a game are important, i’ve always put more weight into my own interpretation of events, which can either align with author’s intent or not. to me, media is always what you personally make of it, and as a very queer person in an extremely straight world ( whose opinions hardly mesh with fanon takes held as gospel ), i’m used to crafting my own stories within works that aren’t exactly what was meant to be displayed. don’t get me wrong! i’m well aware of the canons i indulge in! i can easily find out what a lis game was trying to accomplish ( given how unsubtle said games are ) i just might add my own spin or flavor to it. i think everything ever made exists to be interpreted in multiple ways : so pouring over companies and the conditions behind them aren’t exactly on my to-do list.
however, i am well aware of deck nine’s mistreatment of employees. i’ve read articles discussing true color’s shitshow and i follow a former double exposure writer who was laid off, one who has no qualms complaining about it and the impossible work conditions they were under. it is all very bad and very true, and that deserves to be acknowledged. anytime i defend double exposure ( or before the storm, or true colors ) i am never defending deck nine as a company! i do not care for deck nine like that, nor am i inclined to give them grace … the sympathy i give is always towards the actual employees, especially the writers of said games, whom fans are excessively cruel towards. it absolutely disgusts me when fans claim that the writers of de deserved to be fired before christmas because they did a ‘bad job’ -- when the reality is that the writers are phenomenal people who did their best to make a game and characters worth caring about. the flaws of double exposure is entirely based on how deck nine refused to let the writers breathe! they had to change the story seven thousand times because deck nine wasn’t happy, and because deck nine was betting on making a sequel, much to the dismay of said writers.
i, personally, do not understand people who hate before the storm, true colors, and double exposure simply because deck nine made it. while i support acquiring games illegally so as to not support corrupt companies, i think you should give these games a try regardless. many of the employees on deck nine who suffered through sexual harassment and general abuse have said that it brings them joy to see people love the games they worked on, or the characters they helped create. many have said that the writing that is praised in these games were decisions marginalized people on these writing teams fought for. the people deck nine has abused do care for the games they’ve created, and care for them passionately! :
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the last two screenshots are rather important to me, as they prove that the writers do indeed understand the life is strange games and franchise. many claim they don’t, but they do! and they’re the ones who have fought to keep lis as lis as possible. they love these games and tried to do them as much justice as they were allowed. this is always important to understand, in my opinion.
so, where does that leave me? i think how i approach deck nine’s games is that i approach them as i would any other, out of respect to the employees who gave these games their all despite deck nine’s toxic environment. perhaps i’m far more lenient on the mistakes inherent in their games because i know the writers couldn’t make the games how they wanted, which would’ve probably be leagues better than the ones we got. i appreciate what these people fought to include ( like the topics of racism, empathy, and queerness ) and i condemn deck nine for what they’ve done, but i don’t condemn the poor employees for doing the best they could under impossible circumstances. their works are weak and aren’t even close to perfect, yet i find extremely enjoyable content within said works anyway. these employees have explicitly stated their thanks and desire for people to enjoy these games, so that’s what i shall do! it’s less of a ‘seperate the work from the author’ and more of a ‘the author isn’t just some soulless company, the author was people, queer and poc and otherwise, so it’s fine to acknowledge the abuse they faced while still connecting to their games as they have encouraged us to do.’ deck nine sucks. and maybe their lis games suck. but i find it more important to respect the victims behind the games who have made their opinions clear rather than feign activism by hating the games these victims poured their blood, sweat, and tears into, all while claiming i’m hating these games for said victims. that’s just my opinion, though! people can always do as they like, but this is how i deal with deck nine’s toxicity while also engaging with the lis titles they’ve created.
#my posts.#life is strange double exposure#deck nine#very flattered you think i’m an interesting person!! and this was such a great question to ask thank you so much#i agree that nobody who likes lis:tc bts or lis:de deserves harassment. imo nobody deserves harassment ever#but i digress! yes deck nine is the pits and i don’t care for them at all. awful company. blegh#i also want to say that i afford lis:de a lot of grace mainly because the reception of the game is overwhelming negative as well#people read the entire game in bad faith because they cannot stand it#so even though there is plenty criticism i have for the game itself … i rarely air it publicly. i’m not contributing anything new by saying#the game is flawed? people have nitpicked it’s flaws and created new ones to hell and back. it has become an echo chamber of negativity#so i’m more inclined to talk about it postively. while defending it when the criticism borders on unfair#or when random tumblr users get piled on for voicing their postive de opinions. which sadly happens often#my nature is that i inspect how fandom treats a certain thing and highlight what isn’t talked about#if a game is prone to being erased of any flaws … i talk about its flaws. if a character is seen as a monster i discuss their humanity. etc#i approach lis games the same way. i do not need to defend lis1 because everyone does that for me. and so on so forth#so i do want it known that i have my gripes with lis:de. i do not think its perfect nor have ever claimed as such#my grace is simply that — grace! i am lenient and forgiving because de is hated to excessive extremes#and a majority of fans have been ( sadly ) rather cruel and callous towards the real people who worked on it. which i find disgusting tbh#if you ever celebrate real life marginalized people getting fired over a fictional anything … you need to take a long hard look at yourself#many people use deck nine’s toxic environment as an excuse to hate and it’s obvious given the treatment towards de’s writers in particular#most of which are ( again! ) queer or poc#anyway!! i hope this makes sense?#tldr : deck nine sucks but i will still engage with these games since the victims in question encourage us to do so
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2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearning….the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
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I love that the bg3 guys are all written to have this intense adoration of karlach and lae’zel’s abilities to absolutely eviscerate their enemies. they’ve all got the same taste in women, which is “she could gut the big scary man chasing me, and then princess carry me to safety in her blood spattered arms.” and I respect and relate to that, as a bisexual man myself.
#bg3#thoughts about media#I actually love all combinations between any of the guys and lae or karlach. all very good pairings.#honestly hard to choose a fave... but I do quite like wyll & lae and star & karlach.#idk. something about a guy exiled by his own father and then alienated by fiend’s blood with a girl entirely outcast by her people.#in both cases they are punished despite doing the right thing all because they questioned someone of a lawful alignment.#and then star and karlach... both stripped of their autonomy and treated as nothing but a means to an end...#and the unique romance cutscenes they can get with each other!! actually so sweet.#but don’t get me wrong. I still do love all the other combos too.#and it goes without saying that lae & karlach is a great pair too. nothing like a warrior’s bond.#meanwhile my approval the m/m ships is...well. limited.#I love wyll & star together. I like gale & wyll. I am okay with halsin & any of the boys...but he has to be written better.#and by better I mean give him a little more character and make it less about sex only. because the game largely reduces him to sex alone.#no shart mention because I never take her anywhere unless I have to.#sorry. I do not hate her but she just isn’t interesting to me.#and although there’s writing to acknowledge shartstarion as a possible pair.#I think it’s the worst companion/companion pair and I refuse to think about it.#I mean seriously. it’s a combination of two polyamorous bisexuals and yet the pair feels heterosexual.#please don’t to that to my darling vampire. let him be princess carried by the hot warrior gals.
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thank god im not a journalist cus the amount of eye contact would kill me
#watching a vale interview for research. seeing how he talks and acts for fics from his pov#lots of hand movements. high lilt in his voice. lots of explanation. leads you through a story. very interested in conversation.#hes explaining smth rn and istg it is not related to the question at all. it's interesting i like it but was that the question bud#the question was 'how have you seen RIDERS change over the years? example pedrosa and marquez' and vale went 'ah. 2005 and 2019 are very#different bikes. theres more electronics now.' hes just answering what he wants girl get back on topic 😭😭#NEVER wants to talk about marc thats another observation.#'i come from an era of drinking and cigarettes' funny guy#subtle insults....idk if he means it to be insulting but eh who knows he has a specific tone#it was a question on evolution and how he adapts to riders of the past and riders of the present actually im stupid 😔 sry technically he DID#answer it was just odd jajajaja#great passion for motorcycles :)#atp this is just notes#why are his legs so long. sry. thats mean but why are his knees so far#i feel like he has a tendency to get very very close to whoever hes talking to. kinda a 'i AM interesting in what youre saying. you are#interested in ME' and i think thats very intriguing. lots of movements lots of leaning#i fw his earring so heavy bro i love his stupid one earring#hes so good at conversation wow#luca mention :))#ok yea hes literally abt to fall out of his chair thats how far hes leaning into the interviewer. they know each other so im not too#surprised but eh#he loves to explain loves to talk he really is so compelling. hes a storyteller. and very very italian#interview is valentino rossi uncut from 2019. its on the motogp youtube channel#need to see him do small talk. or just a little conversation between friends but idk italian so that may be hard to find#yap sesh tag#motogp
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