#but i fucked up and i dont think any of them would want to talk to me ever again
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My thoughts on a certain topic..
** this might reach targeted audience and i might receive backlash but if you’re defensive about this topic then CLEARLY you’re part of the weird “problem” **
nowadays when i’m reading success stories or watching a bit of videos i always ODDLY see the weird obsession with japan. now im not gonna gatekeep a damn country because i obviously don’t care but why is it always on TIKTOK specifically. and sometimes i always see “oh to be a japanese student in japan” or “if i lived in japan i would never want to miss a day of school” NEWS FLASH YES YOU WILL. this isn’t anime?? like you’re not gonna have your anime moment where your “senpai” is gonna bow to you with a letter in his hand asking you to be his “cherry blossom neko kawaii anime boo🥺🥺” some of yall obsess with japan too much to the point where i honestly think you have thoughts of “ugh i wish i was born japanese so i wouldn’t have to be in america” well jasmine sorry to burst your dreams but a’lot of japanese citizens WANT to leave japan. its not always sunshines and rainbows here, the pedophiles go crazy here, cheaters go crazy here, you might accidentally stumble on someone committing ykw.. because of the PROBLEMS in japan. i have japanese in my bloodline since im mixed with a lot but you don’t see me going around “ughh its so fun being a kawaii japanese girl😙😙” that just sounds weird. and again JAPANESE SCHOOLS ARE NOT ANY BETTER THAN AMERICA!! sure the education rates are high and people are smart there but you think you’re gonna have your “o..o..oops sorry ii-i-iku-kun!!” moment? no. the bullying goes crazy. (i haven’t been bullied but thats just from what i’ve seen) stop letting social media fool you with “japan is awesome!!” or “japan is living in 2057” HELLLOOOOOO japanese people are human? so stop treating them like they’re anime characters. same thing when i see a random video of just some japanese girls doing a random trend and suddenly i have to take the heaviest sigh when opening the comments because i know damn well i WILL see “what anime is this..” or “i smell 7 seasons” oh my god shut the fuck up.. its so damn corny..
now i don’t care about the aesthetic pages or whatever but japan isn’t an aesthetic💀 its a damn country and i don’t wanna see “o..oh i just like japan” “but i’ve dreamed of going to japan” honestly i don’t give a shit, go to japan nobody’s stopping you. 100% you will get weird stares after randomly moving to japan and starting the conversation off with “こんにちわ”
WE DONT ALWAYS USE THAT!!! 😭 yall did this shit with china too AND korea and this is insane. now im not saying if you like asia then you’re automatically a weirdo. no. i’m talking about the ones who say; “my type is asian men after watching squid games” “welcome to my vlog in JAPAN with my JAPANESE boyfriend as we eat in JAPAN” .. the fact i’ve seen “become japanese” subliminals is even WEIRDER (watch they come in my comments “oh! mind your business on what people do!”) clearly it’s everyone’s business if it’s publicly posted. now theres no way in hell we’re the same race in every parallel universe out there (uh oh get your hopes up!! you’re japanese in some other reality!! are you happy you weirdo?)
anyways some of yall are weird as hell.
#loa tumblr#loablr#loassumption#manifesting#void state#pure consciousness#tw opinion#shifting#shifting blog
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Trace's Forum Post
By popular demand: the text version of Trace's forum rant that I recited on Eidolon EDM episode 0. I made this several months ago as a way to try and solidify her personality and voice in my head.
>If you want to go back to Earth so badly, why don't you just move in with a human? There's gotta be a bunch of 'em that'd love to have a dolphin roommate.
this post was written by a human. i have no idea what you get out of browsing a cetacean forum but whatever floats your boat i guess.
and before some asshole butts in goin 'why are you assuming theyre human they could be a manatee or something'
no. fuck no. only a human would be stupid enough to make that suggestion.
in the extremely unlikely event im wrong [which im not because im a genius], heres why thats a really bad idea and you should be embarrassed for even thinking it.
dolphin fans are maniacs. like we all make fun of horses here and their spindly-ass legs and how nothing about their body makes any sense and someone politely chuckling a mile away could startle them into throwing themselves off a cliff. but horse people have nothing on dolphin people. its a whole other fuckin level.
yeah sure lets play this scenario out, lets get all hypothetical. i move in with someone rich enough and weird enough to spend a completely absurd amount of money bringing me back from the moon and also constructing an aquarium for me inside their presumably giant apartment or mansion or whatever. do you know what happens to dolphins in this situation? like, historically? wild shit. dolphin people dont want to just be your friend. they want to make a spiritual connection, whatever the hell that means. theyll spend hours every day talking to you like youre a baby, assuming that if they do it enough, theyll one day wake up to you reciting a sonnet to them. theyll put drugs in your fish hoping to 'expand your mind' and form a 'psychic connection'. theyll do shit with electrodes. and if you somehow do not immediately try to get your smooth ass out of there, its fuckin over for you. youll become a shadow of your former self, doing flips on command and squeaking out the best approximation you can manage for 'i love you, janice' to get just one more treat.
ive seen that shit happen. its fucking bad.
so no, i will not be taking your advice. im gonna get rich and then ill use my own goddamn money to buy a ticket back and then create a sickass aquarium mansion with reefs. and if i really want some human companionship ill just dangle some grant money in front of some middle-aged marine biologists whose idea of a good day is proving that an abyssal sea cucumber hasnt gone extinct yet. they understand what im about more than any 'dolphin fan' and are just as depressed as me.
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Phaindei x Chubby! reader oneshot
Phainon and Mydei are definitely the types who dont care what their partner looks like, if she alittle thick than she alittle thick! Who cares right?
Unfortunately some people care than you realize, including yourself. You started trying to make an intense work out routine for yourself, desperately trying to lose weight, this included jogging through Akenma Market. There were these 2 guys lounging about talking about how they could lift practically anything, 1 of them saw you and stopped you in your tracks.
Guy 1: Hey! Think I could lift you real quick? you dont seem that heavy
you: Uhh, I don- AH!
The guy doesn't even wait around for an answer before practically ripping at your waist trying to pick you up, only to buckle to his knees panting and wheezing, his friend laughing at him
Guy 1: Dont laugh at me! this one is made of bricks! How do you even stand upright when you way the same as the droma's?!
The crowd around you stares, some quietly laughing, some unamused by the 2 "bodybuilders". You were about to run away and cry, humiliated when you heard a voice beyond the crowd.
Phainon Route
Phainon: Do you really think that insulting someone because of your weak capabilities make you any better a man than the rude onlookers of this crowd? Nonsense! I know for a fact that my sweetheart here is not such heavy as you claim, Dont believe me?
Reader: P-phainon you really dont have to- GAH-!
Phainon swoops you up in his arms, holding you in a bridal carry, the onlookers applausing him while the 2 men turn red in the phase
Phainon: Well? Still wanna say that my dear reader is.. "Heavy"? *he spits out with such a smug smile, The 2 men excuse themselves and gallop away, only then does phainon put you down*
Reader: Thank you phai-
Phainon: No more exercise for a week.
Reader: Huh?
Phainon: Im going to make you eat proper and delicious meals so you enjoy yourself, this routine you have currently only stresses you out
Reader: But, phai... im.. ugly like this.. Dont you think?
Phainon: Fuck no! *ahem* excuse my language, but, baby.. My moonlight! You must understand, I love you! I love, every bit of you, frankly I dont want you to lose weight, your perfect with all of these extra essentials, It just means I have more to love! But... I know this is something you want, all I ask is that you atleast let me monitor you
Mydei Route
Mydei: You dare shame our gods by using such foul descriptions against such a divine beauty as them?!
Reader: Mydei?
The crowd goes quiet, fear settling from Mydei's trembling aura
Guy 2: Whoah! M-Mydei??!
Mydei: You wanna repeat what you said now that im closer in earshot? *He says grabbing the first guy*
Guy 1: U-Uh... I uh.. s-said that they weighed as much as a Dromas??
Mydei: Oh really? *with one hand he effortlessly picks up your chubby body and plops you on his shoulders* Or your just too weak to be a real man~ *he smirks triumphantly*
The crowd gasps, then roars into applause, ashamed, the 2 guys run away.
Mydei: You confuse me as to why weight is such a problem. Your fine just as you are *he says finally putting you down*
Reader: Oh yeah? And just how do I benefit you when im so... round?
Mydei: Pillow, for 1~ *He says smugly*
Reader: I.. Shut up.. -//////-
Mydei: If you really are serious about losing weight, atleast let me train you, make sure that your healthy. *His words laced with adoration and genuine love, kissing your forehead tenderly*
Phaindei Route
Mydei: You dare shame our gods by using such foul descriptions against such a divine beauty as them?!
Phainon: Do you really think that insulting someone because of your weak capabilities make you any better a man than the rude onlookers of this crowd? Nonsense!
Reader: G-guys, please, its not that ser-
Mydei: Of course its serious. You are NOT too heavy.
Phainon: I strongly suggest you take back such vulgar words against them, what would our gods think of your behavior?
Guy 1: Why are you 2 so upset about it, if you think you can lift them no prob, YOU TRY IT!
They look at each other, smirks eminent, before Phainon swoops you in a bridal carry, as you try to process the situation your hoisted into the air more as Mydei carries you both on his shoulders, none of them breaking a sweat
Phainon: Ha! Just like old times eh Mydei?
Mydei: heh, seems ive gotten even stronger!
The audiance roars into a screaming applause! And the 2 guys dont dare to look up, silently disappearing with the crowd.
Tribbie: aww! they really love reader!
Castorice: Such a thing is very warming.
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killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
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tbh i feel like the best case scenario for benrey would never include gordon stepping in as some kind of therapist or guide for him. neither of these people are good at communicating, ESPECIALLY not with each other, and realistically if that situation ever occurred they would end up exploding each other with their minds within the first week
#Which to be frank would be funny as hell . but it would not be good for them lol#i dont think anyone could be benrey's therapist (he is benrey) but like if anyone were to be of any assistance to him#it would be tommy and coomer. as the only two people who are 1. willing to put up with him#and 2. will not make him actively worse (i love bubby but Come on man. Come on man)#gordon MIGHT allow benrey to stay in his house (if only out of fear or acceptance that he just Isn't leaving)#but it would probably be a long time before he was even willing to say anything to him#and much longer before he was willing to talk about them being kinda fucked#i appreciate fix-it type stuff but like. these people are not going to be willing to communicate with each other#as soon as they meet again#Do whatever you want forever of course im just saying shit#hlvrai
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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recurrent thoughts of cutting my vocal cords out but unfortunately i would die before i could. sigh.
#who knew people being weird about my accent would have negative affects#also dysphoria but its mostly the accent stuff#its either strangers (a lot of the time adults) calling english accents sexy or whatever or people mocking me#(and doing so with the wrong accent)#next person who does either is getting screamed at#these people do not understand me#i dont even have a accent that different#but apparently its all difficult#ive had like. one american close friend irl#i cannot fucking take them going on and on about my voice#and they always think im australian and then argue about it and then when they give in its all “british accents are so beautiful/hot”#you dont know what a british accent is#you just spent five minutes arguing about my accent#and if they dont argue the second guess is just as stupid#“oh your irish! im irish too :))” no one gives a fuck about your great great great grandparents#you cannot claim to be irish and also think i sound irish your an idiot#can people just shut up#its not that interesting#and they can't understand me a lot of the time or something because they haven't heard more then 3 accents their entire life#sorry im not the bbc but apparently that's difficult too#i hate it here so much#“do you live here” wtf do you think im doing in this empy suburb if i dont live here?#and im not even immigrant enough#i want them out#i want to rip them out or get out of here#spring cannot come faster#i like my accent but i cannot be doing with having to switch to what everyone want our of me#switching the language on every assignment i do arguing about the way i say words arguing about where im from like i wouldn't know#even my parents dont like the way i talk#“do we got any” is some sort of crime apparently
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#personal#sometimes i wish i knew what it was like to be someone people want to talk to#or at least had students who could listen to what i say for just five minutes#god i hate yelling then they say thats all i do when if i talked normally no one fucking listens#then i take it way too hard when they say they dont like me when at least i stepped up to take their class#a class that had already ran off one teacher#but no im too useless because i actually make them do work and tried to have rules#last year was hard but at least i felt fulfilled by the end of the year with all my classes#i have never craved the end of the year so much or as much as i have this year#its not even both classes either its just this one that makes me dread working with them as much as they apparently hate me#sadly i can understand why their teacher left#and i know im not the best replacement since im learning how to teach them as they learn from me#but im just tired#its only a month left but i am so ready to never see any of them again#but depression does as it does and makes me question if im even good enough to get another job#one actually teaching my correct subject that i love#i hope like hell that i get a job and one i really want because i dont want to have to come back to this school#*it has the most substitute jobs#i dont like being loud even if no one believes me i dont like being mean though i know when i have too i just dont feel good enough#if i was i think i would have a job by now i mean im 28 and its been 5 schools in 5 years#sorry being sad on main#if you read this#thanks
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"that sounds tediously boring"
gnome beat the game
here they are on the boat
#SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!!#they are so precious to me i dont know what i would do without them#ive been insanely emotional about them since last night#i wish you could see how the other characters are doing before the credits#thats my one gripe i wanna know what shadowhearts up to#SHOW ME THE CELEBRATION YALL KEEP TALKING ABOUT !!!!#i want to see them happy and hanging out and smiling :(((#also im sure theres some way to avoid this but karlach does live in their basement and they do feed her brains#all in all its a pretty good set up#shes not gonna explode any time soon and theyre all roommates#could be worse#i do mean she volunteered to turn illithid btw and from where i was standing that looked like the best option#she looks a little weird now but thats still my Best Friend karlach#im sure lae'zel will visit on holidays....#shes like the cool aunt you only see for family reunions i think#ALSO HEY LARIAN ? I ROMANCED THE FUCK OUT OF HALSIN !!!! I SHOULD GET AN EPILOGUE SCENE WITH HIM TOO !!!!!!!#i shouldve brought him with me but gale...... the carefully crafted narrative that lives only in my head........#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion fanart#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin#bg3 tav#my art
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my existence makes me feel awful for my family
#they really wanted someone so much better. im 21 ive done nothing with my life and i cant tell anyone im disabled#mum hid it from everyone but her entirely and now i cant say a thing or ill get her in drama and ill have to keep lying anyway#i had to lie about all the abuse and they saw through it but i still have to lie anyway for all of us i cant say i dont have a job#bc i have no id no nothing to my name no bank account no literally anything and that i have to take care of mum bc they would all just get#mean and give me a million questions and yell at me and dad already stopped talking to me for weeks bc he wouldn't listen when i was trying#to say the id stuff is convoluted ''why cant i just get it with you'' LEGALLY I DONT EVEN HAVE A DAD BC YOU REFUSED TO BE A PART OF IT AT#AT FUCKING ALL AND MUM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE AND DIDNT WANNA HIT YOU WITH SINGLE MOTHER TAX#I DOCUMENT WISE JUST STOPPED EXISTING I HAVE NO SCHOOL CARDS EVEN LIKE NOTHING AT ALL SHE LOST MY BIRTH CERT BOTH OF OURS AND I JUST?????#im sick of getting into fights about everything. my granddad is dying and i barely see him because dad doesnt like me anymore and its scary#trying to talk to him at all bc he'll yell if i stutter he'll yell if i tell him ive gone out snywhere at all he thinks everyone in the#world is just drooling to assault me but he's violent and scary so i cant tell him that anything has ever happened to me bc the one time i#even just vaguely told him someone wasnt nice to me he threatened to tie them to the back of his car and he's attacked my stepdad with a#screwdriver and thankfully he wasnt hurt badly hut like. im so scared of my dad. and it breaks my heart bc he used to be so gentle to me.#hes always had a bad temper i have haunting memories of him chasing me and mum in his car but he never once hit me. but the more i remember#the more i realise that he fucked me up honestly just as bad as mum did. im constantly scared of getting yelled at i cant be loving with#anyone not sincerely bc im terrified theyll leave me theyll hurt me and im always proven right and i miss my best friend and i miss my dad#i wish i could tell him about anything in my life i wish i could tell anyone anything all the secrets all the expectations n the way i know#everyone views me is killing me inside my family thinks im fat lazy selfish worthless dull stupid they think i dont even like seeing them#but they actively push me out every single occasion i see them i barely even have any photos with anyone i never get happy birthday messages#or calls or anything they all just forget i exist until they have to remember and i cant trll them any of my life bc ill get yelled at by#dad or called a liar or ill have one of my deepest secrets spilled to the entire family while im sleeping again.#whatever sorry
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WHAT THE HELL NOBODY EVER TOLD ME TWO OF MY FAVE VILLAGERS GOT A LINE STICKER TOGETHER. ive loved tabby for YEARS like since 2019 at LEAST. and these stickers are from 2018 how did i not know !!! i love tabby and boots so much 😭😭😭 TABBY AND BOOTS ANIMAL CROSSING I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH OOMFS FOREVER AND EVER
#im so happy any official content of tabby is awesome shes my fave i looooove her so much SHES SO SILLY!!!#and boots was one of my starting residents on acnh so he holds a special place in my heart#in case anyone was wondering which im sure you were not. my other starting villager on acnh was rocket and shes soooo silly i love rocket#not enough people love her like shes so silly. u are all HATERS#anyway i love talking about my acnh villagers I WISH I HAD MY ACNL ONES WRITTEN DOWN. the only ones i remember are tabby and kyle#but my acnh ones atm (and when i say atm i mean they will be probably til the end of time)#are my guy sherb (found on one of the ticket islands)#stiches (who i also found on an island i think?)#chai (i have her amiibo card shes so cute.)#tammi (another island find)#stella (man i really did just take the first villagers i found on an island and kept them huh)#rocket and boots (starter villagers)#tabby (I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TRADE HER TO ME ON REDDIT I THINK? and then they were like oh if shes ur fave u can just have her +#like for free. AND THAT WAS SOOOO AWESOME)#bea (i think she was also a ticket island thingy find)#and finally... tom (ok he has a fun story.#i think it was margie who lived on my island at the time and listen she was SUCH a sweetheart i wanted to keep her forever#(she replaced drift who i found on an island and he was mean to me so i have beef with him. still. like four years later.)#but them tom showed up as a camper and i got this crazy hit of nostalgia and i remembered my guy tom was in my childhood city folk town#and i was like. I MISS MY BOY. COME BACK TO ME. so he moved in)#umm only other villager we had was chadder which i think my little brother picked when we shared the island#i think i remember him saying he got chadder because of dantdm...? i dont remember the details#but i got the sanrio amiibo cards which i need to stress i had wanted for YEARS. i was so fucking happy when they got a rerelease#to the point where like. i couldnt get them at first because they sold out super fast. so#i bought them from someone in twitter dms im so serious. and it fucking worked thats how i got them#anyway i wanted chai to move in because shes my fave of that set (i love cinnamoroll) but i needed someone to move out#which i always get so sad about :( but my brother offered to take chadder so i felt a little better abt it#and then i think we forgot to like. have him come get chadder in boxes. so chadder went off somewhere hope hes living a good life#thats it i think. i wish i kept a list of all my villagers ever but considering ive been playing for a decade or so now that would be. crazy#muffin mumbles
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hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now
#like i know i know im sad and hurt but in my heart even the worst breakup friendship or otherwise can kill my hope#like i know this is gods plan for me this is my arc but god it's getting worse and harder everyday#i thought nothing could be worse than yesterday but i hadn't lived today them#then*#i need to talk to someone so bad oh god sl yesterday i had the exam right#and like i don't even know what happened i thought i was going to fail even after giving my 2000% studying#for like 10 hours a day for 15 days for this one exam#and i was panicking and shivering so bad that my heart felt like it would fly out of my chest it was beating so hard#and so fast it didn't even beat like that when i climb too many stairs#and i tried to deep breathe but nothing worked it was so scary like yeah i get stressed sometimes#but this was another level so scary i was nauseous too#and then i clicked submit and i got 82!!!#when i was so sure i was gonna fail because i was only sure about 54 marks answers and the passing was 50#and i got really happy and relieved and then i realized. oh. i don't have anyone to tell#like yeah i told my dad and he was like oh cool ofcourse you did very good#because he doesn't GET it that im not smart anymore and 10th cbse is not an accurate measure of intelligence#he wasn't even happy or surprised he was like well nice obviously#and that's it. i didn't have anyone else to tell#granted i hadn't even told anyone i was giving the exam. i mean i say anyone as if im swimming in friends#only have one. two if u stretch. and i didn't say. cause like idk doesn't really seems like anyone cares#and aah stupid emotional me before the exam i was feeling sad and trying not to panic (??? why??) and CRY in the car because i was thinking#that how my mom always drops me to exam centres and we talk i play music and when im getting out she says all the best beta#and the beta. wow i typed this and immediately have tears in my eyes now. i don't even understand why but#idk i made it up to be a little tradition in my head and i really wanted to call my mom and say mom pls can u say all the best#to me now bc i think ill fuck it up and im really scared and maybe if u give your blessing it'd be okay. but then i thought how embarrassin#it wld be if i failed. bc we don't have any kind of rship my mom and me. and then when she heard i passed from dad she didn't even call me#or anything. thank god i didn't do all that drama but fucking hell. this is all just for me right nobody cares not my parents#and it's too difficult im crumbling under the pressuee but i have to grit my teeth and do it or ill never be able to get out of this house#and i know ill find people when i do get out. but in the meantime. please god ji just one person idc who girl boy friend or love ANYONE#ik it's weak & ik i shld be enough on my own. but pls i just CAN'T.they dont even have to put up with me they just have to care a bit
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people on death note tiktok are so stupid. i dont like that ship either because its extremely out of character NOT BECAUSE ITS TOXIC????, DIE
#txt#ask to tag#the vast majority of relationships in death note are toxic regardless of if its romantic platonic or familial#IS DEATH NOTE TOO PROBLEMATIC FOR YOU NOW??#fucking stupid 😭#IF YOU HAVE TO HATE AT LEAST FO IT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS#i saw someone say ->#m.ikami/light is toxic THE AGE GAP!!! if they met at 18 yo and 22+ they should NOT BE SHIPPED#<-#WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING ONNNNNNNNNNN.#ARE YOU STUPID#ITS NOT FUCKING REAL AND ALSO?????? ???????????? oh my god#youre stupid#mika.mi can be interpreted as having romantic/sexual infatuation for livhf THAT IS IN CHARACTER AND ENTERTAINING#IF SOMEONE DECIDES TO BELIEVE LIGHT WOULD ENTERTAIN THAT IN A MANIPULATIVE WAY OR WHAT HAVE YOU. THAT IS OKAY.#REGARDLESS OF AGE LIGHT HAS THE MIST POWER IN ANY RELATIONSHIP HE COULD FEASIBLY BE IN BECAUSE 1. HES KIRA AND 2. HES A FUCKING GENIUS????#HES ONLY SURPASSED BY L AND NEAR. FUCK YOU STUPID PEOPLE 😭 STOP TRYING TO MAKE HATING A SHIP A MORAL THING?????? HUH#THEYRE LITERALLY NOT EVEN REMOTELY PEDOPHILIC#OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. YKNOW THEY ARENT INCESTUOUS#and i dislike l.awlight for a billion reasons my number 1. being that i dont think its in character for them to behave in the kind of fanoni#sed way a lot of ll shippers do. NOT BECAUSE ITS TOXIC... NOT BECAUSE 'LIGHT LITERALLY KILLED HIM.' SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭 SHUT THE FUCK UP#i hate tiktok i hate STUPID IDIOT D.EATH NOTE FANS WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF GHEM.#id love to make a post on tt abt this but i dont want to ostracise myself even though these people are fucking stupid#ohh but its abusive ohhh ohhh ohhhhh the power dynamic ohhh#I DONT CARE. IF ITS ENTERTAINING GIVE ME MORE??#out of every dn ship m.ikami/light is the one that appeals to me the most#'he manipulated him!!' GOOD I WANT MORE.#the m.ikami/light hate is actually the most bizarre thing to me HELLO. WTFFFFF WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
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I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman
#rat rambles#did I ever actually make a proper isat talking tag? I don't remember but erm#stars posting#anyways dont count on me committing to this au too hard since Im mostly eternal gales brained rn but I am rotating ideas in my head#shes always interested me deeply as what am I if not a sucker for women who are mostly silhouettes of a character#I was mostly just thinking abt other ppls aus where she is also looping and was thinking abt how fucked it be for her in general but also#how much more fucked it would be for her if it was Only her looping#because as far as she would know theres straight up nothing that can be done to fix this and shed be stuck in a hell of what shed be sure#is her own creation#and then I thought to myself. what if she then accidentally did a loop while trying to fix it#and then my brain also said but what if loop was also there#so I did some mental gymnastics to ignore the possible problems and decided to take an extra spin on it and just sorta add her to the main#party by having her have basically wished to be able to help them defeat the king to make things right and her getting dropped earlier#on in the adventure so I can fuck around with potential character dymamics more (cough cough siffrin)#and for the actual loops I think it'd be funny if she could remember just like loop but was fully convinced that she was looping alone#so itd be siffrin and her acting at eachother trying to hide their seperate breakdowns while meamwhile loop is just staring at her with a#whole heap of mixed emotions but mostly the confusion of who the fuck is this guy???????#and sif is just like yeah thats secret. shes a powerful craft user who's craft experiments backfired and fucked up her body. duh.#and loop just Knows that thats not true but they have no real way to bring it up properly without drawing too much suspicious#oh yeah and Im calling her secret for now. in my minds eye shes like constantly putting on different fronts in hopes that one of them will#stick but shes been able to get away with it by playing up her belief in change to a cartoonish degree#shes really trying to be strong and not raise suspicion since she does want mirabelle to be able to learn and grow from this just the same#as her own mirabelle before and just wants to be able to fix the broken wish by being there to defeat the king herself#which she had already convinced herself was the reason the wish broke since she was the one stuck remembering#I should reword it to that probably because saying shes the one looping isnt Wrong but asside from sif not remembering it still entirely#revolved around him she was just the one forced to deal with it without any real way of learning how to fix it#and while she never figured out the entirety of the sif stuff it was always him taking to her that reset the loop#so she has. complicated feelings on him. she doesn't want to be avoidant or distant or to dislike him! and as time goes on she does grow to#like him a lot! but its just. hard to look him in the eye sometimes.#and then theres the horrors of the actual main game starting and the slow but horrifying realization of how badly she fucked up
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