#“oh your irish! im irish too :))” no one gives a fuck about your great great great grandparents

[yippie-madness]

recurrent thoughts of cutting my vocal cords out but unfortunately i would die before i could. sigh.

[fkyumerica]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-WowH0liGfE does she herd

facts about dalmations, oh my god get her to leave

did boy george/amber have the ugliest fucking wife inners and outers

he said it

is her whole body utters for him wtf

marilyn manson officially fucking did it

electrocuted us to steal mcdonalds

and enter in to fuck with his mom and elderly to steal all their money

and the worlds

henry ford is caught

went with 8 girls

then

he was 15

"new town panties"

dont let him surf

started skate boarding to knock out all their teeth

stupid right didnt know i did it

and to them i knocked out all their teeth, now first person they see they will attack and already dead haha i steal your wife

he is his own dad

and fucks his mom

to calm her down to leave

and gets her fat again

family orgies, smells like old people

and the old look is it too mom take off your wig

it will save you, now i wear it and hit old people

sky scraper

The Ride of the Rohirrim live in concert - The Return of the king Barcelona

jo just goes in there and shoots everyone

he pierced my ears and did my hair

that guy isnt the kurgan

he is heartless-kurgan

i dont care

do it

he wants gay old monster orcs to live

im not gonna let them live

each shit came on the ground

gum dots?

really

them?

i ride each of their horses to kill them after

cant run

anddd

we fuck her too

other side

drugs poltergeist cant get up

spirits hold them down

andd

what

they shit on me to give me armor

chariot

those guys were with gandolf the whole time

they burnt giant dads

tried to make their sons gay

i went in the castle and shot men off them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9JR5-ZecCQ he locked us out of our trailers to smash them in half

he always tried to kill alden

showed up as the guitarist once for ac/dc

and i dunno he likes metallica gay right i'll leave him there

i'll let it happen too old ones rape him

pointed at that group instead and move them forward, burnt

but its anyone wild anyways

he would just lie

that guy would get attacked evveryday

the neighbor

it might be clifford

ow ow ow in trailer park boys

did they break my tooth of because of them

probably, small

wheres the dinosaur

what present are they taking and using already

to attaack

and kill, her instead

so we got a dinosaur win a fight

kill her too, say it twice they will send more again

From the shitposting community on Reddit: How to give a kid PTSD

jimhoslovat, meant here are some to mate too and mate your offspring too then they get it they say it

every fkng day i had to kill those people

there it is got that woman oregnant and 5 girls, kidnapped him, she's with him

body bag

kevin/mike/tony was his fake name then he was anthony tscolas and anthony hernandez

and what girls too posted it on my blog

and the video of the apartments they lived in

got two women

let him in when they were asleep

kids need a home stay the night then it happened, she already mated with their dad and hey two women they were stupid it was their wives

of their dads and they were old

looks like her

thanks for the video

what a hooker

points with his thumb hey come oveeer here

and was jeffery's dad

mike's

and

josh's

yea i can stick it in there

judge book

every morning

the website

conquer all

and the boy lives just to be a hooker GET ME OUTTA HERE

I can live there because I saw a car go from here to there and I know its my family living next to me

Shes dead? We’re gonna fuck her  to him to be alive CRAZY GREAT  BREEDING LOVe then him then him then him then him

Their moms got  boys since, Spanish didn’t have a boat to save them, France stole it for it, gay love

Only this group would know the answer to their family feud, that is the show, then they say it after

I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH IM GONNA GO INSIDE AND FUCK HER, grandma is down the street

And why, cause shes got a gross cunt go fuck him he will clean it

Half English half irish I get it, and wait in the sky scraper for old people after, after she lives in it too wtf sit I n the lobby tired I got 4 houses, fred durst. Now he wont be mad at me walked over there he fucked deedee or wtf is not fucking her I got a trend black tshirt right no hats no we’re you, surprise your family with a pregnancy they wont care

I think he told it to that other boy or he was fucking her after, goes for that

I think you did chris, for them to go at me

Scottish army then she got a wedding too, make him look bigger or show up, pregnant by two boys and one guy, Barolo, wedding singer, anyones shit (son)

The wedding singer, fred durst after, or elvis from the wedding, gotta look at a egg nest after and see if I cry, no I left her too, old ladies kissing him he can come back and her mom ripped her face off now we got three in an army keep making them scream after then walk them up to other womens privates and talk to those women from the front we do it gay

mary sue had marilyn manson(switches charles manson in the court room so her son gets out it was keep switching one in to escape prison and a court trial fake judge throw it out what note)when she slept with that older man, same one

[theworldofotps]

Jealous Loving (NSFW)

Pairing: Kenny Omega x Oc Bee Word Counter: 1,850 Description: A night out at the club to celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday, ends in a jealous Kenny giving her some special love.

Warning: 18+, oral smut(female receiving)

A birthday fic for my beloved @omg-im-such-a-masochist wishing you the happiest birthday babe you truly deserve it! Thank you for your friendship, the countless conversations and laughs. Here’s to hoping the next 364 days are the best ones. I hope you enjoy this little smut. Love you so much!💋🧡

Huge thanks to @new-zealand-chic for beta reading this you saved my ass I appreciate you so much love!

Warning if you like Sammy, you may wanna skip this one lmao _________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @damnnhausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsmunsonx @rebellious-desires @thiccc-rider-mcintyre @letsgivethisonemoreshot @mcreignsera @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @cuzimacomedian @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @whenimakeitshine1234 @melblacc @alliwant456 @elevennbloom If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________ Kenny knew he should have kept Bee home this evening and just celebrated her birthday together alone. Instead of allowing the guys to talk them into going to the bar with a group of coworkers. Now here he was drinking a club soda since he was the designated driver and his sweet kitten was out on the dance floor. Shaking her ass with some of the girls, it didn’t bother him that she was having a good time. What did bother him was the group of guys ogling his girlfriend. He was positive that his friends meant no harm; it was the guys he didn’t know so well that he didn’t trust.

 “You okay there Omega? You grip your glass any harder it’s going to bust in your hand.” 

Looking up, Kenny spots his friend Adam Page and shakes his head. 

“Yeah I’m fine just sitting here is all.”

“Is it the way those guys are drooling over your girl?”

“A bit, I want her to have fun, you know because it’s her birthday. She deserves to have a good time but I hate how they’re looking at her.” 

Sipping his drink he scoots over in the booth so Adam could join him. 

“Why aren’t you out there shaking ass with her?”

“The girls said they wanted to have a few dances with her.” 

Nodding Adam turns and watches the group of women. He knew Kenny was feeling more frustrated as time went on. His gaze kept drifting over towards the dance floor. 

“Yeah definitely don’t leave her alone for too long.” 

The two friends watch their coworkers and friends, the song changing to a sensual song. Bee laughed happily as she looked around for her boyfriend. She wanted to get him on the dance floor to enjoy this song with her. Feeling a hand on her arm she stops looking behind her. 

“What do you want Sammy?” “Couldn’t help but notice you were lonely and figured I could give you someone to dance with.”

“Oh, no thanks I’m just looking for Kenny to dance with. But it was kind of you to offer.” 

She says pulling her hand free, she didn’t talk to  Sammy much. Mainly because she couldn’t really stand him but she was more concerned about locating her boyfriend.

“Well, I don’t see him anywhere so come on let’s do a dance before the song is over.” 

He places his hands on her hips drawing Bee closer to him, shaking her head she denies the offer.

“No thanks I’d rather not so if you could unhand me that would be great.” She says, feeling his hand slip down and grab her ass, she goes to tell him to fuck off. When suddenly another arm is wrapping around her waist and pulling her back away from him. Kenny glared at the other man his expression darkening, if looks could kill Sammy would probably be six feet under. 

“Keep your hands off my girlfriend and off her ass before I break every fucking bone in them. Along with your neck” 

“Sorry dude just trying to keep her company, you shouldn’t leave a gorgeous woman like this by herself. Someone may try and claim her for themselves.”

Sammy smirks eyeing Bee as she looks between the two, she had a tight grip on Kenny’s arm to keep him from doing anything that could get him in trouble.

“I’d like to see them try, I’m warning you Guevara if you try anything with my girlfriend I’ll kick your ass and that’s a promise.”

“Come on babe he’s not worth it, we can just go back to the booth.”

Gently rubbing his arm Bee looks up at his face watching as the lights move across his features. She could tell he was pissed and that was the last thing they needed right now, giving a firm tug she tells Sammy to piss off and leads Kenny back towards their table.

“Why don’t we go home?”

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to spoil your night.”

“Hey, you didn’t it’s okay let's head home and spend the last few hours of my birthday alone. Please?”

Nodding he places a kiss on her head. Bee grabs her bag both bidding Adam goodnight and making their way to the car. Holding her door Kenny waits till she’s settled then walks around getting in the car himself.

“Are you okay?”

Bee whispers softly watching him start the car and back out.

“I will be, I didn’t mean to make you want to leave that wasn’t my intention at all. I wasn’t going to come over, and then he put his hands on you and I hated it. You don’t belong to him so he has no business touching you like that.”

Watching as Kenny frowns to himself she sits silently for a moment then leans over and kisses his cheek.

“You didn’t do anything wrong curly, I’m glad you came over when you did. I don’t like anyone’s hands on my waist or ass but yours. You know I’d never go for someone like Sammy, I’m yours and that’s not going to change.”

Settling back in her seat, Bee takes his free hand holding it in hers she knew exactly how she wanted this night to end. She just needed to figure out a way to get Kenny in the mood, unfortunately, she would have to play a little dirty. Spending the rest of the ride thinking they soon arrive back at their house. Slipping out of the car she shoulders her bag and follows Kenny to the front door.

“Glad to finally be home.”

“Yeah me too.”

Kenny nods removing his shoes and placing his keys in the dish on the hallway stand.

“I’m going to get comfortable.”

Bee shimmies out of her dress leaving her in nothing but a pair of black heels. Hearing Kenny groan she looks over her shoulder at him.

“Everything okay?”

“You didn’t have anything on under that thing?”

“No, I just felt like being a bit more free under it.”

Shrugging lightly Bee makes her way towards the stairs swaying her hips with every step she takes. Kenny locks the door and quickly follows after her taking the stairs two at a time into their bedroom.

Bee can’t help but smile when she feels him encircle her waist with his arm pulling her back against him. His lips find her neck kissing and nibbling it as his hands slide over her body. Along her stomach cupping her breasts. He gives both a squeeze rubbing her nipples with his thumbs.

“Can’t believe you didn’t let me know sooner you were bare under that dress.”

“Wanted it to be a surprise.”

She whimpers as her head falls back against his shoulder. Kenny tsks letting one of his hands slide down her hips to cup her mound. His finger dragging along her slit before dipping in.

“It’s your birthday bumblebee, you’re the one who’s supposed to get the surprises.”

He chuckles quietly as he lazily circles her clit. Bee gasps as he walks her over to the bed, his fingers still moving inside her.

“I’m going to spoil you rotten, and I’m going to make the image of that dickhead touching you dissapear.”

Kenny growls picking her up and laying her on the bed licking her wetness clean. Making sure she’s comfortable he parts her thighs kissing the soft skin.

“He could never love you the way I do, couldn’t handle what it takes to make you scream and moan. He could never fuck you the way daddy does.”

“Never never.”

Bee whines, feeling his warm breath fanning over the heat of her. His words were driving her crazy, her want and need made her head spin.

“Going to remind you just whom you belong to.”

As he speaks Kenny’s tongue flicks out tasting the sweetness she offered. A soft groan floats down to his ears as he begins slowly working his bumblebee with his mouth. Her little whines and moans always drove him crazy.

Bee gasps when he parts her lips and takes a full lick of her most sensitive spot. Her fingers reach down tangling in his curls to hold him close. Kenny’s hands rest on her hips as he plays her like an instrument.

Dipping into her core with a sharp prod of his tongue he smirks to himself feeling her clench and whine louder.

“Please fuck daddy feels so good.”

Bee moans clenching the sheets to keep her body from floating away as his mouth worked her into a tizzy. If there was one thing she loved it was the sex when Kenny was jealous. The possessiveness, the need to remind them both that nobody could bring her body to aching pleasure the way he could. Every moment of it brought her to such an earth shattering climax every time.

Her attention is brought back to the present when Kenny swirls his tongue over her clit.

Moaning when she gives a slightly hard tug to his hair Kenny picks up the pace of his mouth. His lips wrap around the sensitive nub as he sucks and taunts her. He couldn’t help the jealousy he felt when Sammy had his hands all over her. But he was going to make sure that by the time he was finished she wouldn’t know what a Sammy even was.

He could feel her body clenching and tightening as he slipped two fingers inside her. Stretching her sweet cunt out, he planned to fuck her right into exhaustion.

“That’s it baby, you wanna cum for me?”

“Yes yes please I’m so close.”

Kenny brings his mouth back down to her nub as he sucks harder, lightly tugging and listening to the moans that left his pretty girl’s mouth.

“Cum for me bumblebee let me hear you scream my name.”

He whispers, continuing his actions until her back arched off the bed. Her walls clamping tightly around his fingers as he worked her through the orgasm. He could see her chest rising and falling quickly. Listening to her scream his name sent a thrill through him. The sedated look on her face when her body went limp made him smile.

“You look so pretty baby.”

He whispers sliding up the bed and laying beside her after he pressed a kiss to her lips. Bee mewls tasting herself on him. Rolling over so she’s laying on his chest she smiles softly looking down at him.

“So are you curly, give me five minutes and we’ll see what other fun we can get up to.”

She winks feeling his cock pressed against her core. He was still in his boxers so she shifts her hips grinding the fabric against him.

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t made that offer.”

Kenny groans as his hands grab her ass giving a squeeze. Bee smirks leaning close.

“It’s my birthday I can offer and take what I want. And what I want is you.”

She whispers before slowly sliding down his body thus starting another round of birthday fun.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 9: Follow The Rules]

Hi y’all, I hope you are all doing well 💜

Chapter summary: Veronica has some questions, Roger has a plan, John has a short temper. 

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, medical stuff, pregnancy.

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​ @hardyshoe​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @sevenseasofcats​ @tensecondvacation​ @bookandband​ @queen-crue​ @jennyggggrrr​ @madeinheavxn​ @whatgoeson-itslate​ @brianssixpence​ @simonedk​ @herewegoagainniall​ @stardust-killer-queen​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

At the wedding, Roger is wearing a cast on his right arm and a dazzling smile...and a white suit that he looks criminally good in.

John is in black, Brian in blue, Freddie in maroon-colored velvet and heavy eyeliner. Veronica’s dress is high-waisted and falls in huge, billowing, shapeless ruffles to hide her silhouette. Her family knows, of course—it’s written all over the tense, grim lines of their mouths and the blades their pale eyes hurl at John—but none of those strict Catholics are going to mention an out-of-wedlock pregnancy in God’s house, nor at the modest reception in the church basement that follows the ceremony.

Veronica’s mother and aunts and sisters are just like her, docile and milky-skinned and small-boned, and you’ve helped them deck the vast room with enough flowers, ribbons, candles, and balloons to make everyone forget this event was thrown together in five weeks and on a shoestring budget. There’s a simple buffet with pot roast and potatoes and vegetables, a live band (some of John’s old friends from high school), and a homemade Polish honey cake baked by Veronica’s grandmother situated regally on a china serving dish. Veronica and John cycle through the tables of guests, smiling and nodding and thanking them for coming, dutifully and yet also seemingly genuinely cheerful.

“The boning is bloody impaling me,” Chrissie murmurs as she tugs at the bodice of her gown. It’s satin and a muted pink, just like yours and Mary’s and Veronica’s sisters’. “If I happen die, wrap me in one of those nice tablecloths I paid for and throw me in a ditch somewhere, will you love?”

“You got it.” You stab a piece of potato with your fork. “This should inspire you to be especially compassionate towards your own bridesmaids! Maybe no horrid shiny green.”

Brian chuckles. “Good luck with that.”

“Are you comfortable?!” Chrissie asks Mary, exasperated, fanning herself with a wedding program.

“I am,” Mary admits cautiously. “But...well...at the moment, I think my dress is a bit...roomier.”

Chrissie moans, dropping her face into her hands. “I always gain when the students go home for summer. My routine is wrecked, all I want to do is read Glamour magazines and listen to records, it’s too damn hot to go walking...and I adore ice cream.”

“I like you just fine,” Brian reassures her.

Freddie snickers as he taps his cigarette against an ashtray. “Yes, we’re all well aware of your anatomical preferences, Bri.”

Chrissie rolls her eyes. “Please do not elaborate.” She’s not offended—she’s far too used to Freddie’s shenanigans to be offended—but she’ll be embarrassed if he makes a scene at a wedding.

“Darling, I don’t care what anyone tries to tell you, plenty of men love a little extra meat on the bones. Particularly the ass bones.”

“We’re in God’s house!” you scold him in a hiss. “You’re going to give Great Aunt Zofia over there an aneurysm if she hears you!”

Roger quips: “Great Aunt Zofia stole the last kielbasa right out of my disabled, ineffectual  grasp, so fuck her.”

You all burst into shocked, uncontrollable laughter. Great Aunt Zofia squints judgmentally at the commotion from several tables away, gnawing on her kielbasa; she’s been glaring at John and Veronica—the Tetzlaffs’ very own fallen angel—since she first ambled into the church. Roger rocks back in his chair, smoking with his unbroken left arm, smirking cockily and basking in the distraction from the real world that the wedding has gifted you all tonight. He catches you watching him—marveling at him, truthfully—and winks.

John appears and rests his hands on the back of your chair. “What’s so amusing? I swear, I leave you people alone for two hours and you’re having all sorts of fun without me, I won’t stand for it!”

“It was a lovely ceremony,” you tell him. “I’d forgotten how beautiful Catholic weddings are, all the music and ambiance.”

“And from what I saw, you knew most of the words.”

“We have a lot of Irish people in Boston. Saint Patrick’s Day is bigger than Christmas.”

John points at Roger’s cast. “It’s not paining you too much, is it?”

Roger holds his Dark ‘n Stormy aloft, and ice clinks in the misted glass. “Enough of these, and I can’t feel anything. Numb to the world’s many disappointments. I highly recommend it.”

“Noted,” John replies. Roger has pills for his arm, but they only take the edge off. You don’t know that because he’s told you; Roger never tells you that he’s hurting, that he’s frustrated, that he’s afraid. He wears grins and flippant humor like a second skin, shrouding his wounds—both physical and disembodied, old and new—in darkness. Still...you can see all those words he doesn’t say swimming in the depths of his eyes. “I think I’ll hunt down a Manhattan myself.”

“Dad made an impression!” you tell John enthusiastically. “I’ll have to let him know, he’ll be overjoyed.”

“He mixes a good one, that’s for sure. I doubt Cousin Bartosz will be able to compare.” He casts a glance at a perplexed-looking, flame-haired teenager manning a tiny wet bar.

“Booze won’t help you heal,” Freddie informs Roger, checking his reflection in Mary’s makeup compact and fluffing his lustrous hair. “Eat your vegetables. Get more sleep. When do you start physical therapy, again?” Then, to you: “Darling, when does Roger start his therapy?”

Roger sighs. “I’ve got it handled, Fred.”

“Dear, don’t have a fit, I just want to make sure you’ll be ready—”

“I’ve got it handled,” Roger repeats, his tone a warning.

Brian breaks the tension with a toast, his Vesper jangling against Roger’s Dark ‘n Stormy. “I’m thrilled, honestly. Now I’m not the only one who’s ruined a tour.”

Roger grimaces. “Thanks, Bri.”

“Yes, let’s all have a turn,” Freddie mutters, sipping champagne. “Deaky can electrocute himself while fiddling with his amp, and then I’ll...what? Have my foot chewed off by an alligator in New Orleans? Get gored by a wild boar outside Atlanta? It just can’t be a boring maiming, that’s my only request.”

“Alaska has grizzlies, huge ones,” Brian suggests.

“Darling, in what dimension would my luxurious self ever end up in fucking Alaska?”

You shake your head, frowning down into your wine glass. It’s June now, the dead center of a crestfallen year: the rest of the Sheer Heart Attack Tour is cancelled, the record company is furious, and the band is broker than ever. Queen is supposed to start recording their next album—their last album, the record company insists, unless it happens to be a runaway success—in July, but you don’t know if Roger’s arm will be healed in time. None of you know that. You wonder if this really is God’s house, or at least one of his homes, sanctified piles of bricks and glass scattered across the globe; maybe you could ask Him where Queen’s future lies.

Veronica swoops in and dusts an airy kiss onto Mary’s cheek, and then Chrissie’s, and then yours. “Thank you so much,” she gushes. Her high cheekbones are flushed, her watery eyes sparkling. She’s in heaven, sinner or not. Her massive white dress swishes with every step. “We couldn’t have done it without you. And you’re next, Chris! I can’t wait.”

Chrissie smiles. She and Brian are getting married just before Christmas. “Yes, well, time will tell if we’ll be serving Christmas ham or canned beans.”

“And then Mary...” Veronica’s gaze migrates across the table. Mary’s been wearing a ring on her wedding finger since Queen returned from Japan, a simple gold band that once belonged to Freddie’s mother. “What about you, Y/N? Any plans? Then we’d all be hitched!”

Red wine spurts from your lips and you fumble for a cloth napkin. Roger doesn’t believe in marriage, and neither do you; not after only four months together, anyway. And yet...is there some part of you that can’t help but think of papers and rings when you get lost in his eyes, of promises of forever, of some way to tie yourself to him like vessels to a heart? Sure; and that’s a little wonderful, that’s a little terrifying. “Uh, uh, oh, oh no, definitely no plans whatsoever.”

“What bollocks!” Rog sneers. “Really, what’s the point if you’re not religious? Who needs a bloody piece of paper to prove they love someone?! ‘I care for you so much I need the government to know we’re together and the hassle of divorce fees to make me stay,’ what the fuck. I mean, uh, no offense John, Bri, uh...this is all well and good for you, but...ah...”

“It’s just not your scene. That’s fine, Rog,” Freddie says with a tad too much empathy. Mary doesn’t seem to notice.

“But you’ll want children at some point, won’t you?” Veronica asks you, almost pained. She’s not trying to be cruel, you realize; she genuinely can’t fathom the pinnacle of a woman’s life as anything but being a wife and mother.

“Theoretically, sure. One day. Eventually.” You titter nervously. Roger’s good arm circles your shoulders, his cigarette lofting smoke. Oh, but wouldn’t he make beautiful children? You push that thought away. It’s too soon, it’s too much, it’s not in the cards for an impoverished maybe-drummer and his girlfriend; and a girlfriend—with all the intangibility and impermanence that title entails—is all I’ll ever be. “I think I need to travel the world a bit more first.”

John sighs and pats the back of Veronica’s hand. What is that weight in his voice...impatience? Annoyance? “Ronnie, please, don’t bother her.”

Veronica sulks, scraping the old scuffed linoleum floor with her pointy white heels. “I wasn’t trying to bother anyone...”

Mary comes to the rescue: “No, of course not. You didn’t, dear.” She likes Veronica more than Chrissie does. Isn’t she oppressively vapid? Chrissie has asked you more than once. Isn’t she so miserably naïve? Veronica is sweet, sure, but she has no fucking idea what she’s in for. “Babies are wonderful, but they do make things harder, don’t you think? Especially for the mother. You have to be ready to drop everything for them. All your other interests and aspirations.”

“I suppose,” Veronica mumbles. You can tell she’s thinking: What other aspirations?

“But you must be so excited!” You beam up at Veronica. It’s her wedding day, and John’s; it should be happy, it should be optimistic. And you’re learning to like Veronica—less than Mary, but more than Chris—because you know that’s the best thing for John.

She instinctively rests her hand on the swell of her belly; or, rather, where it must be somewhere beneath all those heaps of satin and tulle. Great Aunt Zofia’s glare intensifies. “I’m scared to death, to tell you the truth.”

“Why?!” Mary cries.

“I’m so afraid something will happen to him.” Veronica’s voice is soft, her blue eyes glassy. She’s certain the baby is a boy, claims she had some sort of dream about it. “There’s a lot of bad luck going around for us, isn’t there? And my mother lost four babies. Any time he stops moving, I worry constantly until my next appointment. I haven’t felt anything in days, and I just...I just...” She trails off, staring vacantly across the crowded church basement. She’s trying not to cry, you realize.

“I can try to check for you,” you offer. “If it would make you feel better.”

“Really?” Veronica sounds hopeful, but guardedly so.  

“This is embarrassing, but I carry my nurse kit almost everywhere I go now. That’s why I brought my huge blue purse even though it doesn’t match the dress. You know, you can’t be too careful...”

“Yes, who knows when someone will try something idiotic like jogging backwards down the stairs?” Freddie muses. Roger lobs a pierogi at him. Great Aunt Zofia wheezes out a disgusted huff and crosses her veiny, wrinkled arms over her sagging chest.

“I have a stethoscope,” you continue. “I can’t guarantee I’ll find a heartbeat, but I’ll give it a try if that would help.”

“Would you, Y/N?” Veronica clutches for John’s hand, and he lets her take it without any resistance; but he doesn’t seem to know how to comfort her. He has the same dazed look on his face that he has a lot these days, the same look that Bri and Freddie sometimes get: like they’re on autopilot, like they’re actively filtering through brainwaves to fish out any that wander astray. Roger lands a kiss on your bare shoulder and pitches you a playful smirk, his I’m so proud of my too-fucking-smart girlfriend smirk.  

You grab your purse from beneath the table. “Does God’s house have a cozy private spot somewhere?”

Veronica leads you, Mary, and Chrissie to a small unoccupied room that is used (how pertinently) as the church nursery. The pink wallpaper is dotted with waddling ducklings, cloud-shaped sheep leaping over fences, smiling suns and winged cartoonish angels. Veronica settles into a faded blue couch, and Mary and Chris help her shove aside the massive plumes of her wedding dress to reveal the plain shift she’s wearing underneath. She’s over five months along now, and her entirely unremarkable bump seems colossal on her delicate frame.

You pop the headset into your ears and press the chestpiece against Veronica’s unyielding belly, gliding it over the pearly shift as you try different positions.

“Anything?” Mary asks anxiously.

“It’s not bloody instant, Mary!” Chrissie snaps. “Be quiet so she can listen.”

“No need to be cranky—”

“You can’t find a heartbeat, can you?” Veronica says, her voice quivering. “Oh god...”

“Found it,” you announce. You hold the chestpiece in place as you yank the headset off and pass it to Veronica.

She gapes at you. “You’re just saying that so I’ll stop worrying, aren’t you?”

“Hear for yourself.”

Veronica takes the headset and listens, closing her eyes as the rapid-fire and rhythmic swishing of her child’s heartbeat floods through her ears. “Oh,” she breathes, beaming. “There he is.”

“That’s incredible!” Mary trills. “Can I hear too, Veronica? Whenever you’re finished...”

Mary listens, and Chrissie does too, and then you all help touch up Veronica’s hair and makeup before you head back to the reception. The cake is due to be cut in twelve minutes. As you smooth the short train on her dress, Veronica turns back to you.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” she asks timidly, hugging her belly. “You know...for this.”

“That’s something I’ve always liked about nursing. So many jobs require sorting out who’s right and wrong, casting judgment, assigning punishment. There’s no weighing of the moral scales in medicine. It doesn’t matter if a patient is trustworthy, deceitful, good, bad, worthy, undeserving, if they disappoint you, if they’re the ones who hurt themselves. You treat everyone, you heal everyone. And I would like to keep that part of myself for as long as I can.” You smile at Veronica. “But, for the record, no. I don’t think you’re a bad person at all.”

She sighs in relief, untethering an anchor she hadn’t even known she’d been dragging around by her throat. “Thank you,” she whispers, tears snaking down her powdered ivory cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on.”

“How do you feel about marble lion statues? You know, the ones at the end of long, winding driveways. Rich people’s driveways. Mansion driveways. Or do you prefer gargoyles?”

“Roger.”

He groans, grins, presses his right fist into your palm. You measure the force with your mind, with your muscle memory. He’s stronger than he was yesterday, the day before, last week. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Rog teases. “You’ve got a soft spot for damaged people. Helpless people. That’s why you warmed to Brian so quickly. He was lying there all gaunt and jaundiced and terrified, and you just couldn’t resist, you just had to make sure all his wildest dreams came true.”

“I have a soft spot for self-destructive musicians who end up in hospitals, evidently.” Your gaze cruises over the scar on Roger’s forearm where the surgeons popped his bones back into place, stabilized them, stitched the ragged gore closed. You hate looking at it; you hate reminders of how mortal Roger really is.

“I want lions,” Rog decides. “For the driveway of our eventual mansion. I like the Leo connection.”

“And the Queen crest connection.”

His grin widens, toothy and radiant. “See, I knew you were the love of my life.”

“Come on. Again.”

He winces this time. “Doesn’t hurt a bit.”

“Uh huh. I bet.” You’ve slathered his fresh blisters with numbing antiseptic ointment, iced his arm, administered pain medicine, allowed him the constant sips of alcohol necessary for him to work, to drum, to sleep. But he still hurts. You imagine he hurts all the fucking time.

It’s August now, and Queen is recording their fourth album at Rockfield Farm. You and Roger are sitting by the pool as Freddie splashes around in the clear chlorine-smelling water trying to get John’s attention. John, meanwhile, is lounging on an inflatable raft, wearing black sunglasses and most likely asleep. Brian circles the pool snapping photos with your Canon F-1.

“I have a plan,” Roger informs you as he starts his stretches without prompting. He knows the drill, even if he likes to be difficult about it.

“By all means, enlighten me.”

“Fred’s thing, the weird one. It has a name now.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah. Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“Oh, it’s perfect!” You try to stay out of the band’s business decisions as much as possible; it’s not your expertise, and it’s not your place, and there are already a few too many creative chefs in that kitchen. Still, you love when they share their magic with you. “Eccentric, whimsical, exhilarating. Just like the song. Just like Queen.”

“I’m so glad you approve. We’re going to make sure it’s the first single off the album. And I know exactly what song’s going to be on the B-side. Freddie and Bri don’t know yet, but I do.”

“Sounds like they’re going to murder you when they find out.”

“I’ll convince them.” His grin is crafty, daring. “Picture it: you’ve just finished the incomparable experience that is Bohemian Rhapsody. You’re a newly converted Queen enthusiast. What could possibly come next? You flip the record over. And the virile, screeching, pure rock and roll passion of I’m In Love With My Car is there to greet you.”

“Oh my god, Roger.” You shake your head in mock mourning. “They actually are going to murder you.”

“Listen, love, BoRhap is going to be a hit. I can feel it.”

“Sure,” you agree lukewarmly. You want to be supportive, you really do. But disappointment stings more than resignation.

“It will be,” Roger maintains, unmovable. “And it’ll sell mountains and mountains of singles...and with my song on the B-side, I’ll get half the royalties. Which means we’ll get half the royalties.”

“Which is how we end up with the hypothetical mansion.”

“I’m being serious.” Roger picks up his mini barbell weights from the water-splattered concrete and begins his bicep curls, flinching each time he lifts his right fist.

“Rog—”

“I’m fine,” he insists. “I’m going to make this happen. I’m going to get rich so I can provide for my family. You know about that, you know it’s on my list. And my family includes you now.”

“I don’t need a mansion, Roger.” I just need you. You stare at his right arm worriedly. “Are you sure—?”

“I’m fine!” he shouts, and you recoil. Brian peers over from where he’s taking pictures of blooming purple foxgloves. Instantly, Roger regrets it. “I’m sorry,” he says, setting down the barbells and cradling your face with his rough, bandaged hands. “I have to be fine, you know? I don’t have a choice. If I can’t play, I can’t be in the band. If I leave, John will leave too, and that’ll be the end of everything. Or worse, John will break the pact and stay and they’ll find a new drummer and forget all about me. Sail off into some blissful new future. And where will I be? Moping as I drag myself back to dental school? Becoming a freaking lab biologist? Resigning myself to being some excruciatingly ordinary bloke, someone who climbed just far enough out of Cornwall to know everything he’s missing out on?”

You try to imagine who Roger would be without the band, but you can’t. You’ve never known a pre-Queen Roger. “No,” you say, amused. “You’ll never be just some ordinary bloke. You’re too brilliant, too determined. Even if you do have a dodgy arm.”

He kisses you, and you can feel his lips curling into a smile beneath yours. “So you’ll let me buy you a mansion.”

“If you get I’m In Love With My Car on the B-side, and BoRhap is a hit, and Freddie and Bri don’t smother you with a pillow in your sleep...yes, you can buy me a mansion. Buy us a mansion.”

He winks, his sapphire eyes glinting in the late-summer sunlight. “Watch out, baby. I get everything I want eventually.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s done,” John tells the others as he passes out copies of his new song, the second he’s ever written. There are only four sheets of crisp white paper; as you watch from the studio couch, you wonder what the song is about, why he didn’t mention it to you.

“It’s done?!” Brian yelps. “What do you mean, it’s done?! Nothing’s ever done after the first pass! That’s how it works, that’s how it always works, someone suggests something and then we all dice it and slice it and flip it around and stitch it back together like the world’s most maniacal surgeons, and then, only then, maybe, it’s done.”

You glance up from where you’re sewing an eleventh patch onto Roger’s jeans. “Must we disparage the medical profession?”

“Sorry, love,” Roger tosses to you with a laugh.                          

“It’s done,” John repeats.

“Deaky, darling,” Freddie ventures gently. “We should endeavor to keep our minds open to collaboration—”

“Oh, should we, Fred?!” Bri exclaims. “How extraordinary, you never seem to encourage collaboration when it’s your song on the cutting floor!”

“Okay space boy, you listen here—”

“‘I’m happy at home’?!” Roger reads, revolted. “We’re not the bloody Bee Gees, Deaks!”

John explains measuredly and patiently, as if to a child: “That’s the way it goes. We record it as it is or not at all.”

“That’s not how we do things,” Brian mutters, deep frown lines chiseled through his face as he scans the lyrics.

“Then just fill the album with your and Fred’s songs like you always do, I’m sure that’ll keep me and Roger loyal.”

Brian glares at John. John stares back stoically, his eyes like steel. Brian looks to Roger for support; Roger lights a cigarette and pretends not to notice.

“Darling, please, you’re not being reasonable!” Freddie pleads.

“I need it.” John turns to Roger now. “I need it to stay the way it is.”

Rog just watches him for a while, exhales smoke, shrugs. “Okay,” he says at last.

“Okay?!” Brian howls. “What do you mean, okay?!”

“He said he needs it,” Roger replies simply.

Bri throws his hands into the air. “Bleeding christ! ‘He needs it.’ What rubbish! Do something, Fred!”

“Oh relax, darling.” Freddie sashays to the microphone and points to Brian’s Red Special. “Let’s try it out.”

“But—!”

Roger claps Brian on the back as he trots by him towards the drum kit. “Come on, Bri. Big smiles. Just picture the nice shiny pounds from all those album sales plinking into your bank account. You’ll have fifty Christmas hams at the wedding, one for every guest.”

You listen passively from the couch as they rehearse, trying not to let on that you’re paying attention, trying not to overstep. But you can’t help being struck by the lyrics, feeling the somberness of Freddie’s voice and John’s tentative notes on the electric piano slink into your bones; because it sounds so familiar, because it echoes so many things that John has told you.

When Queen takes a mid-afternoon break and John slips into the kitchen for a Coke, you follow him.

“Hey John?”

“Yeah.” He rests his hands on the dining room table. They’re sturdy and unmarred and completely unlike Roger’s; and you aren’t sure why you notice this, but you do.

“I completely understand if I’m being intrusive, and if I am please just tell me to shut up and I will.”

He chuckles. “You’re never intrusive. Go ahead.”

“I was just wondering...who is You’re My Best Friend about?”

Now his smile evaporates. “No one in particular,” he says briskly. “It’s just a song. Just something to put on the album. Maybe a single one day. A soulless royalties grab.”

That seems unlikely. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He takes a swig of Coke, peers down at the table, traces swirls of centuries-old oak with his fingertips.

“It’s just...you know...well...it kind of sounded like...maybe it was about me.”

He looks up. And for the first time, John levels some of his infamous, razored words at you: “Don’t be such a fucking narcissist.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later, John doesn’t apologize. But he smiles at you over tea, offers to clean off the fingerprints of strawberry jelly that Roger left on the Canon, splashes you from the pool as you sunbathe beneath lapis August skies. And you agree, wordlessly and unconditionally, to forgive him. Because John is your best friend, whether or not you’re still his.

Nine weeks later, Bohemian Rhapsody is released as a single. (And, as promised, Roger ensures that I’m In Love With My Car is on the B-side.)

Twelve weeks later, Bohemian Rhapsody reaches the #1 spot on the UK Singles Chart, and remains there for over two months.

Fifteen weeks later, A Night At The Opera becomes the #1 album in the UK.

Fifteen weeks later, Queen’s future is suddenly crystal clear.

[sunflowerbi]

4 and 26 😳😳😳😳 for the fluffy prompts!!! ✨✨

I DID IT

I finally did it!!

okay okay i really wasnt sure i’d manage, but i did. im not sure how great it is, i think i like it but i’m a bit rusty, honestly. thank you for being patient!!! i really hope you enjoy it lovely! i’ll try to be,, quicker in the future 

ao3 / writing tag  / fluffy prompt list ✨

--

Villanelle woke slowly, lazily reaching for her girlfriend, frowning as she only felt cool sheets and a smooth piece of paper. She didn’t intend on sleeping late, truly, she was going to get up when Eve did, but they’d both been insatiable the night before, and there was nothing Villanelle enjoyed more than a lazy post-sex morning. Except for maybe lazy post-sex morning sex. Either way, she would just bring Eve some breakfast, or maybe lunch, depending on just how late she’d slept. She grabbed the paper, reading it on her way to take a quick shower.

V,

I got a work call early, and last time I tried to wake you up before 9 you started mumbling about slicing open my throat, so I decided to let you sleep. I’ll see you later, baby. xx

Eve

           After letting the hot water wash away any remaining sleep, Villanelle stepped into her room to get herself dressed, opting to steal Eve’s shirt from the day before, tying it in the front and throwing on a pair of black jean shorts to match the bra just barely showing through the white of the shirt. It was nearly 11 so she figured it’d be best to grab a few sandwiches from across the street before heading over to see Eve, hopefully she’d be able to pull her away from work long enough to have lunch at the park right next to the MI6 building.

           It was nice outside, slightly cool with the sun warm against Villanelle’s skin as she walked towards café, ordering their usual lunch, a fake French accent rolling easily off her tongue. She still disguised herself sometimes, the instinct fresh in her mind. The people at the café knew her as Danielle, who spoke with a soft French accent and never had much to say, but the people in the bar down the road knew her as Amy, who spoke with the faintest hint of an Irish accent. Still, more people knew her by Villanelle these days, as she tried to allow herself room to relax. She spent a lot of time thinking about Oksana, letting the name roll around in her head, listening to it fall out of other’s mouths, but it never felt quite right. Oksana was the little girl who was beaten by her mother and by kids in the orphanage who were bigger than her, the little Russian girl who everyone thought would die on the streets high on cheap drugs. Villanelle was not perfect, but it was who she was.

           She smiled as she stepped into the MI6 elevator, fiddling with the paper bags in her hands. She worked here too, now. With her girlfriend, taking down the people who had stolen so much from her. She still got to kill people too, which was a bonus. Eve often came in early, most of her work was still done in the office, with Villanelle primarily in the field.

           “Hi, I come with lunch. I think you should give me credit I showed up at work on my day off.” Villanelle announced as she walked into Eve’s office.

“Villanelle, you fina-” Eve stopped as she turned around, her eyes landing on the blonde leaning against her doorframe. “you finally woke up.”

“Yes, and you are staring at me.” Villanelle smirked, crossing the room and pressing a kiss against Eve’s cheek.

           “Can a woman not stare at her very attractive girlfriend?” Eve finally let her eyes drop, noticing the sandwiches held in her hand.

           “Of course she can, do you think she can also have lunch with the attractive girlfriend? Preferably at the park?”

           “I think she can arrange that, how did you sleep, darling?” She grabbed her bag and powered off her computer, happy for the break from hours of tedious research.

           “Like a baby, which is only natural considering what you did to me last night.” Villanelle smiled, memories flooding her system.

           “What I did to you? If I remember correctly you are the one who waltzed into our room in nothing but a robe and a strap-on.”

           “Fine. I am hungry though; can we go eat now?”

           Eve just rolled her eyes as they made their way to the elevator, allowing herself to stare a bit more openly now that her coworkers couldn’t decide to poke their heads in at any second. For all the shit Villanelle had given Eve about her taste in clothes, here she was, with one of Eve’s white button-downs.

           “You are staring again, rodnaya, is there something on my face?”

           “No, it’s just, I can- I really can’t believe you’re wearing my clothes.” Eve stumbled out, finding it more distracting now that she’d mentioned it out loud.

           “Oh, yes, it surprised me too. It turns out not all of your clothes are completely unwearable, and this shirt smells like you, which is a nice bonus.” She noted, pulling the collar up to her nose.

           “I am going to call Carolyn, take the rest of the day off. I did most of the research already anyway, and I can finish at home.” Eve said, reaching out to fuss with the knot in Villanelle’s shirt.

           “Why do you need the rest of the aftern- ohhh, we are going to have sex. Can we still have lunch in the park? I did not eat breakfast.”

           “Definitely, I think we’ll both need the energy.” Eve answered as they walked off the elevator, taking Villanelle’s free hand in her own. The rest of the walk was quiet, Villanelle with a pleased smirk and Eve biting at her bottom lip, her mind running a mile a minute with different pictures of the rest of the afternoon.

           They eventually stopped at a bench, sitting down to actually eat their food, although Eve took the opportunity to trace patterns down Villanelle’s back, distracting both of them from making much progress.

           “If you do not stop that I will never finish this sandwich, and I think the people over there will call the police if I fuck you on the park bench.”

           “It’s not my fault that you look hot in my clothes.” Eve noted, her fingers now slipping up the back of the shirt.

           “Eve, I have been to a Russian prison, if you don’t think I will spend the night in a cell here for stripping naked in a public park and fucking my girlfriend, you are underestimating me, which never goes well.” Villanelle warned, her voice low.

           “Well why don’t you take me home to strip naked and fuck me?” Eve teased, leaning as close to Villanelle as she could without jumping climbing into her lap, “It would avoid all the prison nonsense, at least.”

           “You are insatiable, a woman cannot even eat her lunch.” Villanelle shoved a final bite into her mouth, standing up and throwing their trash away before dragging Eve behind her.

           “Although, I have a good idea of something you will let me eat.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶😶 Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

[peakytoms]

forgiveness~ tommy shelby

A/N: would you still be surprised if i said this was mostly smut. smut smut smutty smut smut, with just a hint of plot (just a hint since im a smut slut through and through). And i aint even the slightest bit ashamed. This lil piece (lel) features the great dommy tommy and if you got a dommy daddy fantasy then THIS ONE IS FOR YOUUU.

If you like (which i hope you doooo since i know i did) please lemme know, if you didnt....let me know that too but BE NICE THIS IS A RESPECTFUL FUCKING NEIGHBOURHOOD AND IM STILL SENSITIVE YA KNO?

Word Count: 6003!!!! 6003 words of mostly smut AND YES I KNOW ITS PROBABLY HELLA EXTRA @ nonnie SO DONT READ IF IT YOU DONT LIKE LONG AF SMUT PIECES (also who have noticed that my pieces get sunstantially longer and longer everydamn time i post?)

ENJOY!

It wasn’t unusual for Tommy to leave the city without telling you.  Just as it wasn’t unusual that when he did, you would swear to the high heavens that you were finished with him and his antics.  You knew that Thomas Shelby was not the most open man, but you thought maybe, maybe he would have the decency to keep you informed in what was going on in his life.  After all, you were in his life, and when you were with him, he made you feel like you were a big part of it.

It was four days later when you heard he returned.  The bastard probably too preoccupied with work to bother coming to tell you himself. You didn’t want to care that he was back.  The man never bothered to think of you so why should you think of him. You didn’t want to care. But you did. Because no matter how insignificant he treated you 90% of the time, the 10% he did spend with you were the greatest times of your life. Never having felt as special as you did when you were wrapped in his arms.

You thought again to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe it was some really urgent business, maybe he was kidnapped, held hostage.  Maybe he was involved in a fight and lost his consciousness and his memory.  You waited all day for Tommy to find you and give you an explanation.  You waited and waited and he never came.

You were done with waiting.

The march toward Watery Lane did nothing to wane your anger or feelings of hurt. If anything your already strong emotions increased along the journey. You paused just outside the door to the Shelby residence trying to collect your thoughts so as not to forget any of the reasons you hated Tommy Shelby. With your head held high you pounded confidently and loudly on the door. It was only a few minutes before you could hear the tell-tale Tommy Shelby footprints descending the stairs from behind the frame. He was smiling as he opened the door, already knowing it would be you. However, the smile quickly fell from his lips after you marched straight inside the house without so much as a glance in his direction.

You made your way over to the living area, suddenly hit with a wave of nerves, no longer sure that you should be poking and aggravating the feared lion that is Thomas Shelby.

Feelings which quickly passed when you heard him clear his throat in annoyance.

“Have you not got anything to say?” You speak, trying to hold as much conviction as you can in your words, cursing yourself as your words cracked near the end.  

In the brief hesitation of his silence you turn around to look at him. Shocked and hurt you watch him reach into his jacket pockets for his cigarettes and his matches, slowly inhaling the smoke and exhaling as if he had all the time in the world. As if your time meant nothing to him.

As if you meant nothing to him.

“You were gone four days Tommy? What? It didn't occur to you that maybe I would care to know where you were going? That you were going?,” you hurry the words out feeling your emotions starting to get the better of you. “What were you doing Tommy? Did it have something to do with Sabini?”

“It was business YN. And my business is not your concern.” He replied in a bored tone, taking another small inhale from his cigarette and letting the smoke slowly carry itself out of his mouth. His stupid and beautiful and irritating mouth.

“Not my concern,”  you scoffed in disbelief. “Yes, well... what exactly can I be concerned about Tommy?  I’m not allowed to know where you are half the time, not allowed to know who you do business with, I can't know what your business even is involved with! I can't know when you'll be around, if you'll be around… It seems that the only time I’m allowed to be concerned about anything to do with Thomas fucking Shelby is when he wants something warm to stick his cock into!  You want a whore Tommy? You can find somebody else!” You scream out, surprised that  despite the broken feeling you feel in your heart over what you just said your voice held strong.

“What the fuck did you just say?” He whispers back menacingly, finally making eye contact with you from across the room. “This is who I am YN! You knew that when you got with me. My business is my business, not yours. Coming here demanding what- that I tell you everything? Kicking off at me for BEING THE MAN YOU KNEW I WAS! You think I haven't got enough on?! Eh? Is that it? You think I haven't got enough on?! I’ve got my brother, the Italians, the Jews, the Irish, fuckin Inspector Campbell breathing down my neck, and what? Eh? You think I have the time to deal with all this? You want a fight, pick it with someone else, I dont have the time for your childish games.”

“Well don't worry Tommy, there's no need to deal with this anymore,” you said as you emphasized the space between the two of you with the wave of your hand.  His eyes held yours, and as he slowly registered the meaning of your words they darkened with something that was different than anger, but undetectable all the same.

“Oh what?” he countered, his words and eyes hard as ice, “you gonna walk out that door?”

“Yeah Tommy. I’m gonna walk out that door,” you bit back, trying to hold your own under his intimidating glare.

“You are not fucking walking out that door Y/N.” His voice was a warning. Calm yet threatening. The aggression that was laced in his tone tantalizing, sending shivers racing down your spine to between the heating core between your legs.

“You gonna stop me Tommy?” you scoffed out with a laugh. Your eyes testing his.

“Oh I don't need to stop you princess. You're not walking out that door.” The manner with which he spoke was detached from any emotion, his voice as placid as ever, he face clear of any discerning expression. He kept his eyes on yours as he fished out another cigarette, lighting it up and inhaling it twice before he made any further move to speak. He held you there, frozen, as you waited for what was coming next. Knowing from the clench in his jaw, and the way he was fiddling with his cigarette that it would be a long night.  He began to make his way over to you from across the room, walking slowly with the purpose to put you on edge...an effort at which he succeeded. “No...you see, you didnt need to come here tonight, but here you are. You wanted to come, and I’m willing to bet, that’s not the only thing you wanted by coming here,” he said slowly, each step bringing him closer and closer to you, forcing you back into the wall behind you. “Tell me why you came here tonight Y/N.”

Being in such close proximity to him was paralyzing. His scent overwhelming your senses, his steady breath fanning down across your face. Your mind became hazy as you tried to remember why and how you have ever been mad at him. His eyes mesmerizing any rational thought from your mind.

“I didn't come here to tell you any else than ‘fuck you’,” you dared, keeping your voice firm and chin high as you looked him square in the eye.

“Fuck me eh? Well...you could have just asked sweetheart. I would have been happy to oblige,” his lips quirked into a smile. A stupid and beautiful smile on his stupid and beautiful face.  You wanted to scream looking at him—so beautiful and stupid.

“You know that’s not what I meant Tommy. God, I mean, you don't ever listen to me!”

“Oh I’m listening sweetheart. And you know? You almost had me. I almost believed you—coming in ‘ere, guns blazing, screaming at me for what? Not giving you enough...attention? That’s what you need right? Need daddy to give his princess some more attention? Hm?”

“Fuck you,” you spat out. The tone in your voice may have implied one thing, but the way that your back arched into him as he brought his face down to yours said another. Tommy kissed you with a hunger that could never be satiated, his mouth devouring your every exhale, his air the only one your could breathe. When he pulled away moments later he left you gasping, fighting against your lungs need for breath when you were desperate for more of him. You watched in confusion as Tommy took a small step away from you, his hands finding his cigarettes in his pockets and fishing another one out. He watched you under squinted eyes as he lit up and sucked back on the stick, purposely making your squirm under the intensity of his gaze. You could hear the embers of his cigarette burn with each inhale that he took, the smoke billowing out and fogging your vision along with your other senses.

“Oh how you frustrate me princess,” he began, sucking in his teeth as he spoke. His lips quirking back into that infamous small smirk of his as a hint of a chuckle escaped past his throat. “I am… I am a reasonable man. And I want to make sure that you are satisfied... that your needs are well-taken care of. I have treated you well, and yet, despite this, you flip me off—you disrespected me. Am I just supposed to give you what you want? Reward this poor behaviour you’ve exhibited this evening?”

You knew he wanted an answer. Knew that it would make for an easier night if you just opened your mouth and told him what he wanted to hear. But you were frozen. Held captive by the ice in his eyes as he looked at you expectantly. Bringing his hand back up to his lips, he took a slow drag as he waited, his eyebrows raising along with his impatience. Tommy reached his breaking point sooner than you expected, his free hand grabbing hold of your shoulder, pinning you against the wall on your stomach before reaching for your neck and squeezing lightly. The aggressive way he handled you frightened you just as much as it aroused you.

“You really think it’s a good idea to continue to test me? Do you not think you’ve gotten yourself in enough trouble today my little one? I expect an answer.”

His fingers loosened his grip as he waited for you so speak. You could feel him hardening underneath your ass, his hips pressing firmly against you to keep you in place. The delicious sensation of it all making it difficult for you to suppress the smile threatening to fall on your lips.

“I’m sorry daddy,” you whined, grinding your ass deeper into his hips, your body in wanton need of his. “I didn't mean to make you mad, I just–you were gone for so long, and I– well– I missed you. Missed the way you feel… please forgive me daddy.” Your voice was sincere as you continued to speak, hoping that Tommy would take some pity at the thought of how you struggled in his absence.

“Hmm… you poor little bird. I’m sorry to hear that, though you should know there are better ways of asking for my attention. Ones that don’t involve disrespecting me.”

“I know daddy, but this way was much faster. And...well… effective.”

The haughty laugh that escaped his lips made your lower lips quiver licentiously, the heat in your core burning with white light from the anticipation of what was to come. Tommy moved his body so he was level with your own, his mouth biting down into the space where your shoulder and neck meet, sucking back the skin with his lips. Making sure to leave his mark.

“Well princess, you’ve certainly got my attention,” he murmured deeply into your reddening skin. Tommy dragged his teeth along the line of your neck up to your jaw, kissing and sucking his way up to your lips. With your bottom lip between his teeth, one of his hands found your ass— a harsh slap raining down on your cheek. “Careful what you wish for little bird. Upstairs. Now.”

Tommy pressed hard against your ass for a second more before stepping back to allow you to move, wanting you upstairs as quickly as possible. As you turned to look back at him, his stare alone was worth any number of the punishments he was conjuring up behind his cold and hard expression. Your feet ran up the stairs without any further instruction, the anticipation over what was to come something that was tangibly evident between your heated legs. At the sound of his heavy footsteps behind you, you turned around, smiling devilishly coy at him as you walked up the stairs backwards, tripping a few times which earned you a few small smirks and chuckles from his lips. He caught up to you rather quickly, his strong arms enveloping you with ease as he hoisted you up over his shoulder. You squealed with glee at his exuberance as he threw you onto the grand bed that was in his room. Tommy sauntered over across the room, resting his body against his wardrobe as he waited for you to undress, a command which he gave with just a look in his eye in lieu of actual words.

Your hands made quick work of your dress buttons, knowing that teasing him would not be in your favour tonight... no matter how fun it would be. Tommy turned away from you for a moment, placing a record in the gramophone to let some soft music fill the room. You halted you movements in confusion, unsure of where he was going with this. Tommy was not so much of a music man— the gramophone in his room present only to humour you on the days he had kept you alone in his house while he went to work. Your eyebrow was quirked up curiously when he turned around to face you once more.

“I want to watch you princess. I want to watch you dance for me.”

You looked back at him in shock, the request that he made so far deviated from any of his usual ones. Even though he purchased and kept the gramophone for your use, Tommy has never seen you danced, never seemed to show any interest for that matter. A sly grin forming on his lips as he walked toward the bar he kept in the corner and poured himself a healthy glass of whisky in his glass. He moved to hand the glass over to you, gifting you his offering.

“Some liquid courage little bird?” he teased, his eyes growing dark as your hands slipped around his to grab the glass.

You licked your lips before downing the drink without a second thought, desperate for some more to further ease your inhibitions.

“Can I have another daddy? Please?” you asked, your voice small and sweet.

Tommy nodded curtly as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Walking slowly over to his private bar, you poured yourself another liberal shot and tipped it back your throat in one smooth motion. Despite how long you have known Tommy, you never really got used to the taste of whiskey—finding the taste much to astringent for your own liking. You refilled his glass once more for him before walking back over to the bed.  He retook possession of the glass and settled in on the sheets, leaning back on his elbows and tilting his head for you to continue with his demand.

“Go on little birdy, start dancing.”

Willing the alcohol to work its magic, you closed your eyes and breathed in deeply. You felt like the room was spinning, though we're not sure if it was because of the alcohol or the embarrassment from the task at hand. Your hips started to sway side to side as soon as he cleared his throat in annoyance, obviously having grown impatient with your stalling.

Raising your arms above your head you turned your back to him, twisting your waist as you swayed your ass in his view. You could hear Tommy maneuver behind you, and as you craned your neck over your shoulder, you watched as he licked his lips and palmed himself through his trousers. His eyes clouded with lust, his mouth practically drooling.

“Take off the rest of your clothes darling, but keep dancing,” he muttered out absentmindedly, most of his attention focused on his throbbing cock that he was palming with his right hand while he tried to loosen his shirt collar and buttons with his left.

With the rest of the buttons on your dress undone, you shrugged the fabric off from your shoulders, allowing it to billow around your ankles before stepping out. Untying your brassiere and shimmying out of your knickers, you threw your intimates to where Tommy was on the bed, eliciting a low growl which turned to a chuckle to escape from his mouth. You watched as he grabbed hold of your panties, his fingers tracing along the lacy edges, inspecting the evidence of your desire you left on them.

He commanded you to touch yourself, his eyes widening with amusement at the sight of how your cheeks blushed red. You could feel the wetness seeping out through your legs as you cupped and massaged your own breasts. Where once you felt nothing but embarrassment, you now felt erotic and sensual, the hungry look in Tommy’s eyes spurring you on further.

“Would you care to join me daddy?” you asked, trailing your fingers down to where you needed them most.

His eyes drank you in but he made no move to get up or join you. You continued your frilly dance as you waited, turning back around away from him as he seemed to contemplate his next move.

“C’mere,” he commanded, his voice sounding as strong as ever. “On your knees.”

Blushing a deeper shade of red now, you sunk to your knees and crawled on your hands towards Tommy, swaying your ass slowly from side to side as he looked on ravenously. He removed his right hand from his groin and took off his shirt, letting his suspenders hang off the side of his waist before he moved to unbuckle his pants.

When his cock was pulled, you found he was already leaking, the tip red and beading with his pearlescent precome. You mouth opened as you reached him, the need to have him between your lips completely overwhelming. Tommy collected his desire with the tip of his thumb and leaned forward on the bed to slip his thumb on your tongue. You sucked on him ravenously, swirling your tongue around the tip of his thumb as if it were his cock. With his other hand, Tommy finished off his untouched glass of whiskey, discarding the emptied tumbler on the floor so he could harshly grab hold of your hair.

“I shouldn't even let you touch me after the way you behaved this evening. I should be teaching you a lesson, but christ Y/N, that mouth is just begging for it isn’t it? And you need this don’t you little one. Need daddy to give you some extra attention eh?” His voice and expression looked sweet and loving, his eyes and lips crinkling into a smile as he indulged you.

Nodding enthusiastically, you hummed around his thumb, Tommy swirling his digit around in your mouth as you did.

Pulling his thumb out with a wet pop, you spoke. “Please daddy. Please let me–.”

“Best get to work little girl, before I change my mind.”

Leaning forward, you took his hot cock into your mouth, humming with assent at the slick feel of his velvet skin against your tongue. As your mouth closed around him, you could hear his breath hitch aggressively, his teeth holding back the guttural groan threatening to escape. Leaning back on his left forearm, his right hand fell behind your head, guiding you however he wanted by the roots of your hair. Your own hands rested on top of his thighs, trying to push back as Tommy forced you to take him deeper.

“You will not fight me little bird. You asked for this remember? Don’t be ungrateful now.” His grasp was painful as he pulled on your roots, ramming the back of your head onto him again and again. You tried your best to relax your throat, to focus on your breathing, but Tommy’s ferocity gave little leeway for any of that. He wanted your mouth, and Tommy was a man who always gets what he wants.

Tears were filling your eyes as you looked up at him, humming a few grunts to get his attention back on you. As his eyes met yours, he loosened his grip slightly, allowing you a brief respite. Emboldened with the ferocity of your passion, you took your mouth off of Tommy, blowing cool air onto the wet mess you left behind. Tommy groaned out a frustrated laugh, his lips forming a grin that flooded warmth straight between your legs. You took him back in, gliding your tongue up and over his veined shaft before he did so. His hands find their way back to your hair, pushing you down once more with no time for adjustment. You throat began to burn as he shoved himself further in. Moans of desperation building but no room to escape.

“That’s it sweetheart, take it all like a good little girl. I bet you’re feeling extra special right now aren’t you?” he teased, his voice raspy and deep and delicious.

At the pace he was setting, it wasn't long before you could feel his muscles twitch under your tongue. His grunts coming out quickly as he fell down back on the bed, knowing you to be more than capable of finishing him off.

You felt it before you tasted him. The warm liquid spurting to the back of your throat in gushing bursts, the overflow oozing wetly against your tongue. Tommy strained to look at you, his orgasm prolonging as he looked at you with his come frothing around the sides of your mouth. Swallowing him back, you revelled in his taste against you tongue, making sure of lick up every last drop as it continued to spill from his tip.

“Thats it my girl...clean up the mess you made. Good girl.” Tommy moaned out, his voice still heavy and breathy from his recent undoing.

Licking up the sides of his veined manhood, you decided to take a risk, helpless against your own ego and wanting to tile him up yet again. Baring your teeth with a teasing smile, you grazed them lightly against his veined and aching skin. Tommy lurched forward, grabbing hold of your face harshly with his deft fingers. His eyes looked wild when they met yours, his own teeth dazzling bright against the animalistic smile he was wearing. An arrogant laugh came up from his throat as he pulled out of your mouth and slapped you across the face. The impact was not exactly hard, but it wasn't exactly soft either. Tommy knew what he was doing. He wanted you to feel him, to be reminded of his strength, his power, his dominion. He wanted to make you think twice about going against him again. But as you began to laugh in his face— taunting him— he knew you didn’t quite get the memo.

“Watch yourself little girl,” he warned, his voice as icy as his eyes.

“Make me,” you countered back, garnering another slap across your cheek, his hand exhibited far more strength this time than the last.

“Christ...you missed me that bad huh? You know, if you want something princess, you need to ask for it, I am a rather busy man.”

“Am I being bad daddy? Maybe you need to... punish me?” you said coquettishly, hoping that would be enough.

Another slap. This one hard enough to move your face even though his other hand holding your chin firmly in place.

Tightening his left hand even more around your jaw, his brings his head in closer, forcing you back up straight on your knees.

“I said you had to ask for it sweetheart. Now tell me... what is it that you want?”

Shivers ran down your spine as you looked at him, pooling the warmth of your desire down your core. With his hand still tight around your chin, his thumb traced the line of your bottom lip. Granting him access you pulled in his digit, holding his thumb between your teeth as you sucked. You pulled him out with a pop, kissing the tip of his thumb between sentences.

“You. I want you. And this hand.... And I want marks all over my body to remind me of you in case you leave me again. I want to be yours daddy. I want you to make me yours. Please sir.”

“Ask and you shall receive princess. C’mon, get up, lay down on the bed and let daddy take care of you eh?”

Giggling enthusiastically, you grabbed on to Tommy’s outstretched hands as he helped you stand and kept you stable on your stiffened legs and joints. Tommy moved you against the edge of the bed, laying you down on the stomach and spreading your legs apart with his foot, shifting your hips upwards with his hands to force your ass in the air.

“Count them out for me little bird,” he said before bringing his hand down on your bare backside, the sting of the impact instinctually tensing your muscles.

“One,” you moaned out, trying your best to wiggle your hips to bring some friction on you aching cunt.

When his hand came down again on the opposite cheek, you groaned out from the pain, each subsequent slap being counted out through gritted teeth.

“Nine–oh god...nineteen. Please daddy,” you begged, trying to find the strength of move one of your hands under your stomach between your legs, stopping when you felt his gentle caress trace over the reddening bruises on your arse.

“Yes my little bird?” he asked back, the smile audible in his voice.

“Help me daddy–please.” Given the position you found yourself in, you had no qualms over the shameful way you begged for him. You couldn't be bothered to think of what you must look like, sound like— not now. Not when you needed him as desperately as you did. All you could think about was the budding fiery sensation building aggressively in your core and nothing else. You needed him, and you didn’t care what you had to do to get him.

One more slap rang down on your skin, forcing a choking gasp out from your throat as you struggled for breath. Before you could count off this one, Tommy forced two fingers into your sopping cunt, thumbing your clit with small circles. With his other hand he held you down, stopping any chance you had of pushing back on his fingers to bring him deeper. When Tommy removed his fingers so soon after shoving them in, you cried out actual tears, struggling against his strong hand on your back as you tried to grab on to him.

Your mumbled moans became muffled as Tommy brought his two fingers to your lips. You sucked them back eagerly, mewling against him as your tongue swirled against him. When he took his fingers back, he replaced them with his lips, kissing you passionately and biting down on your bottom lip.

“Oh how I love you my sweet little bird. Always so good for me...So receptive. I’m sorry for not giving you the attention you deserve princess, but let me right that wrong now eh? Does that sound good angel”

“Oh God, yes daddy–ye–yes it does.,” you moaned out in a breathless whisper, too preoccupied by the thought of his cock deep inside of you to register the words ‘I love you’.

From the corner of your eye you watched him stroke himself with one hand while stroking your back with the other. Tingles radiating from his fingers where they connected with your skin, making your back arch up to meet his touch. You wiggled your hips eagerly, a desperate groan rolling off your tongue as you heard and watched Tommy spit onto his cock. He held himself against your entrance for a few excruciating moments— ever the tease that man.

“Is this what you want little bird? Hmm? Is this what you’ve been waiting for ever since I’ve been away? My cock here inside of you? For me to fuck you?”

He slowly began pushing in, exhibiting impressive control considering how easy it would have been to just slide right in to your sopping cunt.

“Yes! God daddy please, please let me feel you. I want to feel all of you please!” you cried out loudly, your breaths coming out in short, hard pants— you were a bitch in heat.

“Oh you’ll feel me sweetheart. You’ll feel me tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next day. You won’t be able to spend a second this next week without feeling me…”

Trailing off, he pushed in, sinking deeply into you with a guttural groan. Tommy wasted no time as he began pounding into you from behind, his balls slapping against you ass from his vigor. Even though you were laying down on your stomach, the ferocity with which he fucked you sent you bouncing on the plush mattress. Hands gripping tightly around his expensive bed sheets, you tried to push back against him. Needing him deeper— harder. Needing everything he had in every single way he could give it.

Tommy was grunting loudly behind you, digging his hands into the skin of your hips hard enough to bruise you even more, his fingernails leaving large half-moons all over your waist. He knew you were close, hell he knew you were close long before he was even inside of you. Your body tensed up from the minute you walked through his door, desperate and yearning for some relief.

One of his large hands moved across your back as your upper body started writhing beneath him. Bending slightly on his knees, Tommy changed the angle of his thrusts— gasping audibly out at how your body clenched around him as a response. Your screams were filling the room as Tommy kept hitting you from behind, the sounds bouncing on the walls as you came around him. The violent pulses of your orgasm roaring through your body to every single one of your nerve endings. Tommy did not let up, his thrusts never waning even as you clenched and yelped around him.

You were struggling with your arms behind you to touch him, to feel him in some way to ground yourself back down to him. With your hand splaying wildly behind your back above you, Tommy grabbed one. Using his grip on your hand, he flipped you over, sliding out of you far more easily than he slid in. Tommy held you tight against his chiseled chest, quickly finding his way back into your cunt and resuming his pace. With one hand holding your weakened body, he used his other to hold your face up to look at his, demanding that you kept your eyes on his as he fucked you.

Despite his previous confession, there seemed to be no love in the way that Tommy claimed your body with his. His darkened pupils bared no affectionate glow toward you but only a possessive dominance. He fucked you like you were his toy, one of his dolls, but it didn’t matter, so long as you were his.

“Oh god daddy…,” you moaned out. A soft exhale that was but a whisper in his dimmed bedroom. A pledge of submission that echoed loudly off the walls, reverberating back to his ears and to his cock.

Tommy moved to kiss you, his lips hard and rough against yours as his rhythm became more erratic, his legs starting to shake under him. He took everything you had to offer him— your breath, your moans, your tears, which had begun to spill from your eyes from both the exertion and the delicious painful pleasure you were experiencing this moment. Pulling away from your gruffly, he brought his hand back down on your face— the unexpected slap dragging your attention back onto him from the transfixed haze you were falling in.

“Look at me princess. I want you to watch my face as I come inside of you. Keep them open sweetheart,” Tommy said through strained grunts, trying his best to stave off his own undoing as he waited for you. His free hand grabbed hold of one of yours, pushing it down to where your bodies met, knowing even in your blissed-out stupor your primal instincts for pleasure would take over.

Without seemingly any conscious effort, you started manipulating the hot bud at the apex of your thighs, bringing you closer and closer to the edge of another orgasm. Tommy was practically drooling as he watched. His eyes shifting down from your own to the spot your bodies met— watching you as you desperately pinched and rubbed against your swollen clit, your body practically limp and lifeless were it not for his arms holding you up.

The warm pool inside your core suddenly became a flash flood as Tommy wrapped your legs around his waist, granting himself access to drive even further into your body. He held you tightly as you convulsed around him, his eyes wild as they forced and maintained contact with your own. Frantically thrusting into you, Tommy suddenly stilled, milking around her walls. Despite how high you were, you were still able to savour the feeling of his warm seed jolting within you, still able to notice and feel the way his body twitched inside you as he came.

“Christ girl, fuckin’ hell,” he groaned out.

Tommy fell forwards on top of you, your spent bodies collapsing down on the edge of the bed. His teeth bit down on your shoulder as he finished coming inside of you, grunts quietly subsiding as soon as he kissed his way up to your lips.

“You're mine Y/N. All mine,” he murmured gently into your lips, his body still attached to your own. “And I’ll make sure you never question that again my sweet girl. Daddy’ll always take care of you.”

“Hmm, thank you sir. ’m sorry for before, I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did... forgive me daddy?”

“Nothin’ to forgive you for girl, I should be the one apologizing. I took you for granted. But I’m going to make up for it now sweetheart...if you’ll let me.”

“I don't think I can go again daddy…” you trailed off, your voice coy as can be. Your hands finding his hair and gently massaging his scalp with your nails.

“Oh yes you can my girl, you can't deny a man seeking forgiveness can you?. Plus my tongue has missed you, am I’m fairly confident you’ve missed it as well.”

“Well I guess if you put it like that…”

Using what strength you had left, you tried to push his head down, meeting resistance from his much stronger body.

“Give me a minute little bird. You've worn me out just then. I’ll start my atonement soon don’t you worry”

Tagged: @prettieparker86 (if you want to be tagged just lemme know and I’ll try my best to remember!)

[demyrie]

I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult. 

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it. 

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life. 

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us. 

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there. 

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too. 

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

[himbosims]

The Simself Challenge? Is that what this is called? I have no idea. . .

The challenge is basically to make a simself then answer a fuck ton of question so here we are. Thanks @willowbomb and @sim-borg for tagging me. I’ll tag: whoever wants to do this because idk who hasn't done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Taylor

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? My childhood nickname was Tot. My friends call me d*ke and slut though so hey

3. BIRTHDAY? July 23, 2001

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Series definitely The Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Artifacts by Cassandra Clare

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Both i think, definitely aliens. I don't fuck with ghosts and all that because I don't want to die

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Right now my favs are Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Where I live we have five stations, one that plays music from the 30’s all the time, three country, and one that says it plays pop but ends up playing country anyways. So, none.

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Idk man, thats a loaded question. Probably vanilla

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? ??? lit… idk dude I was trying to think of something that's weird but I can't think of anything

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Be My Mistake by The 1975 or Not Warriors by Waterparks

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Serious answer, lunacy (there's a reason its my username) not as serious, I just heard someone outside yell for the chillin’s and I started laughing because that word is great

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  I’m currently listening to From Eden by Hozier

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Shameless, Glee, Shadowhunters, Grey’s. I could go on.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Obviously

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Spiders and needles

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? nothing

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Everything, in seriousness, my selfishness or narcissism,  

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats are my favorites but dogs are cool

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Never have been

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? NOT AS MUCH STRESS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Irl- my friend EJ. Online- @hallowiamshebsims

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Read 23

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Read 23

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Read 23

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I don't remember the last time I was excited for something

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Writing I think

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Hannah Montana, Ned Declassified, Drake and Josh, Flapjack, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Chowder, Rugrats. I'm a true early Gen Z kid

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My girl best friend, I dont tell him everything because i'm a secretive bitch

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Nah

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Read 16

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing, reading, creating imaginary worlds to live in

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I am almost done with History Is All You Left me by Adam Silvera and oh boy that book

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Paranorman: “You’re gonna love my boyfriend, he’s like a total chick flick nut.”

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? N/A

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hallowiamshebsims @simmerberlin @willowbomb @pollinationqueen @gunthermnch

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? The ability to always have the money to pay for things

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? My room probably

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? People falling down, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJq4jWSQNd

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? That’s cute

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I have two teachers that are really weird about phones and talking in class so we pass notes instead

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? LOUD EATERS

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I went to a christian concert when I was like 5 so there's that

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope, I live in the south how do you expect me to not eat meat

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Teacher since I live in the south and that's the only jobs beside retail or waitress in my town

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Shadow World, but I wanna be a warlock, not a dumb shadowhunter lol

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m afraid of what's in the dark, which is a hard ass way to say yes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? All the time but im tone deaf so its bad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? If I was sick, yeah. Other than that, I did twice. Once because I had a really bad panic attack right before the bus got to my house and I called my mom claiming I was really sick, and once a few weeks ago because my dog got sprayed by a skunk therefore making me smell like a skunk

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? uhhhhhhh

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? New York City, LA, San Francisco, Toronto, Portland, London. Any big city to be honest

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A dog and three cats

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I sometimes stay up super late and sometimes i'm up really early. And if I can actually force myself out of bed I can get a lot done in either of those times

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Yeah but im gay so its not good driving l

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Everything that wont break in a week

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I don't really have a favorite, I listen to all kinds of stuff

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Uhhhhh, Deadpool, or Spiderman

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Nope

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? It takes a lot to make me angry but when im angry it's bad and I forget what i do when i was angry so i don't really know

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Creative Writing

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Younger sister, younger step brother

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A starbucks coffee last night

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’7 or something

75. CAN YOU COOK? Depends on what i'm cooking

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Books, music, friends

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Racists, homophobes, sexists- so basically most the people in my town (hell what am i kidding, this side of the Mason-Dixon line)

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? One of each

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? I am on the ace spectrum and I am panromantic

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? ‘Merica the brave

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Sheb

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like, yesterday

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? CallMeKevin RTGame The Shane Dawson squad

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sometimes

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?I guess this hell site

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?My mom and I are kinda close, i don't really talk to my dad much (even though I live with him half the week)

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Aussie, British, Scottish, Irish… all of them

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Everywhere that’s not my state and the ones touching it

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 23

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? notta

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, but not crazy religious. I just believe in fate and that there is some type of higher power

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Nasa bitch

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? I have an issue with adrenaline. As in, although i am an anxious person with too much adrenaline anyways I like to do things that give me a rush of adrenaline

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? I can't have my eyes pierced because I'm allergic to metal in the sense of having it in my body

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yep

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Next question

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? I mean netiehr, but i'm not a huge fan of sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? You’ve made it through your worst day before, you can do it again

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think so

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Sytherlin, not surprise

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I’m talking to myself right now

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Nah, my writing is kind alike my diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give people too many chances

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Check the ID, maybe take the money and leave it in a bush or something. I don’t know

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? For sure

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Please don’t  tickle me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Read question 94

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane, but young Alec because I can't be friends with 27 year old Alec

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Scared of needles, remember?

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Doing things for me

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? YES

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Not really but if my future partner wants some i’d be open to talk about it

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My ex-best friend. I used to hate how she never had to try to get good grades or be good at things, she just was

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? All my memories are embarrassing if you look close enough

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? At least twice a month

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Nutruels and black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Sure

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I think I wa son the news once

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I have a lot, “Words have the power to change us.” “perhaps it is because of time that we suffer.” “I remain a work in progress until I die.” “The thing you are most afraid to write, write that.” I could go on

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet

[candylani-draws]

When Evil Conquers YT - Chapter 2

Character List: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/177562446573/when-evil-conquers-youtube-character-list

Cover Art: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/177562290268/hey-peeps-im-so-excited-to-be-re-publishing

Wattpad Link: https://my.w.tt/rTElIdf6MP

Deviantart Link: https://www.deviantart.com/pandaserules97/gallery/67161703/When-Evil-Conquers-YouTube

(READ THIS FIRST!!) Important Notes: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178727812658/when-evil-conquers-yt-important-notes-about-the

Prologue Link: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178859191453/when-evil-conquers-yt-prologue

Chapter 1: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178892439558/when-evil-conquers-yt-chapter-1

WARNING - This chapter uses high levels of offensive language, including insults and nasty comments about these certain Tubers. I obviously do not hate these people, this is just for story sake. If you feel that you are going to be offended by the words here, just skip to the end. Thanks!

Anon: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to announce my purpose for joining this occult!"

He leans down to inspect the pages, then opens the large book to the page he was looking for, a large slam echoed the rooms. In it lies a cell phone, and he pulls it out.

Anon: "Now, as I load my information, allow me to give some context. Most of you are aware of a popular video website called 'YouTube', correct?"

Lucifer: "You mean that stupid website that forbids copyrighted material and is full of pampering, self-absorbed morons?"

Anon: "Yes, exactly! And don't forget about ad revenue!"

His YouTube app has loaded, and he begins to search, both for his content, and in his notebook.

Anon: "Now then, I have four specific specimens who I believe deserve a bit of a punishment..."

Lucifer: "Ooh, what kind of punishment?"

Leader: "Have patience, Lucifer. We cannot have anything done if we rush into it..."

Anon: "Ah, here we are!"

Anon flips over several pages and reveals a large list of names.

Anon: "For 7 years, I've putting all of my time into this YouTube matter, finding out who and what is popular during different eras, and today, I have found the perfect victims. Now, if you look at this list, it reveals YouTubers that I wish to see be taken down by my command! Most of them are the gaming community, just a heads up."

The list was insanely long, and each of the names contained some sort of extra name beside it. From the looks of it, it seemed that Anon wanted to take these Tubers and...change their names? The first 4 caught everyone's eyes.

List of Dumbasses - 2016

1. VenturianTale → Jimmy Casket

2. JackSepticEye → AntiSepticEye

3. Markiplier → Darkiplier, Yandereplier, Authorplier, Googleplier

4. Pewdiepie → Lucius-pie

Anon: "Let's see here, ah! VenturianTale, the first channel on my list! To keep this simple, I'll make a demonstration and start off with the first four names, to warm us all up. If this is a success, we continue this tradition every October!"

He pulls up a video of some brunette man wearing a blue hoodie, screaming like a girl at some stupid animatronic animal jumpscare.

Anon: "Now then, here's out first Tuber, Venturian, aka Jordan Frye, a American guy who is known for playing Gmod and has 2.43 million subscribers. Even though that's not a large number compared to other channels, it still eludes me how a man in his 20s spends his time playing stupid mods with his retarded siblings. Yes, this isn't a solo channel, he has 3 other siblings who are equally guilty of this cringeworthy dungheep."

Random Occult Member 4: "No wonder they only have less than 3 million subscribers..."

Anon: "However, there is something that caught my attention from them during my studies...on their Gmod murder series, Venturian has created an original character named 'Jimmy Casket', a crazed murderer who happens to have some sort of personality disorder. It's a long, boring story as to why that is, but the point is...whenever Jordan plays as Jimmy, it seems to be one of the few times he goes insane and turns into someone else...someone dangerous...someone...evil.."

Random Occult Member 2: "Interesting..."

Anon: "Now, onto our next Tuber..."

Not even 3 seconds into the next video, and several of the Tubers covered their ears in pain from obnoxious singing and shouting. Luckily, Anon came prepared as he grabbed powerful earmuffs during his searching.

Anon: "Is the ear bleeding done?"

Everyone: "TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"

Anon: "With pleasure..."

Anon took off his earmuffs and paused the video. From the screen, and the audio, this Tuber is European man with bright green hair and a VERY loud personality.

Anon: "Our next Tuber is JackSepticEye, aka Sean McLoughlin, an Irish gamer with 12.36 million subscribers. I have no idea how the hell he's able to scream and shout for more than 20 minutes without a sore throat, but that is a gift he should never have been born with. This man is irritating, and he seems to overreact to every little fucking thing he plays! And he's friends with an eyeball that's LITERALLY septic! He's FRIENDS with a toxic fucking eyeball!"

Random Occult Member 2: "Greaaaaat, as if this man wasn't unlikable enough, now he's a gross slob..."

Anon: "...Riiight...now then, despite his annoyance, he also has a darker side to him that, this time, was created by his fanbase. Since his YouTuber name implies that he's all septic, it only makes sense that his dark side implies that he's antiseptic, and it's quite an irony. Recently, some of Jack's videos are giving canon appearances of this alter ego, and it helps give one a glimpse of what his true design looks like..."

Lucifer: "Ooh, now THAT is something I would KILL to see!"

Anon: "...Okaaaaay then...Next up is the pure definition of a manchild. Do not be fooled from his appearance."

The next Tuber who was on screen was an Asian-looking guy with an extremely American accent, red dyed hair, square glasses, and a skin tight shirt, playing some horror game about a rabbit.

Anon: "This here is Markiplier, aka Mark Fischbach, and this is another American Tuber here, with 14.55 million subscribers."

Random Occult Member 3: "Ooh, this guy has quite the bod..."

Anon: "Hey, remember what I said earlier? This person may look handsome on the outside, but inside, he's a scaredy-cat and...a bit of a crybaby...He's also really stupid."

Anon fast-forwarded the video, and the man screamed loudly and flew backwards in his seat, with his jaw dropped to the floor.

Anon: "See what I mean? Oh, and this guy seems to have a weird thing for boxes, considering he's friends with one."

Anon then clicks on another video with the man playing with some sort of small box creature with a big baby face and cartoony hands, and they're making stupid noises and faces.

Lucifer: "How in the hell did he even-?"

Anon: "It's best not to ask right now. Besides, I didn't get to the real meat here. Mark is unique, because he has not one alter ego, but FOUR!"

All Members: "FOUR?!"

Anon went into his photo album and pulled up a collage for 4 characters that looked eerily similar to the manchild.

Anon: "You heard me right, 4 alternate egos! The main one, and the most iconic, is his dark side named...Darkiplier...I know, hilarious. This ego has an interesting history. He originally started off as Mark trying to be "scary" to his audience, and this soon turned to a whole new persona. The last time Dark was seen canonically on-screen was a video named "relax", but I've been hearing rumors about the new appearance of Dark; it consisted something of him being all black-and-white, in a formal suit, and 3D effects..."

Lucifer: "Wouldn't that be cool to see?"

Anon: "Ha, tell me about it. Now then, the next persona is known as 'Googleplier', and this one is pretty recent. From Matthias' video 'Google IRL', Googleplier is a real-life Google machine who can answer any question, along with having an obsession with destroying mankind...to be honest, this one is my most favorite. Unfortunately, Googleplier has a retarded weakness against too many questions."

Nobody said a word, but they all seemed to have some sort of prediction that Anon is, in some way, similar to Googleplier's personality.

Anon: "Third one has a bit of 'style', if style meant a weeb who wants to kill everyone for their lover. This is 'Yandereplier', but I'm calling him Yandere Mark for short. For those who don't speak weeb, a yandere is a character in anime who acts nice but kills peers behind their love interest's back. Yandere Mark actually started once Mark started playing an indie game called 'Yandere Simulator'. Basically, the game is shit, and the developer seems like an asshole. But this persona has definitely intrigued me. To have a fake persona to hide your true identity from the one you love? Seems like the perfect ego to hide crimes."

From the weird smile/grimace on Anon's face, the group was wondering if Anon has dealt with a "yandere" before.

Anon: "Last persona is a lesser known one, but holds great promise. Meet Authorplier! Honestly, he doesn't have an official name besides 'The Author', but I'll be calling him Author Mark for now. This persona was created back in 2013 in a mini-series called 'Danger in Fiction'. Honestly, most of the videos consist of stupid, immature potty humor, but the parts that I find to be BRILLIANT is the character's appearance and his power to write stories to torture his victims. See, with Author Mark, he has a special book that plans out the victim's fate, and he wants the victim to follow it, or else he'll end them faster with his bat."

Lucifer: "Now THAT one is my favorite!"

Anon: "And FINALLY, the last YouTuber on this list is..."

Anon quickly went back to his YouTube app and typed away, and everyone was anticipating for who was the last Tuber.

Anon: "PewDiePie, aka Felix Kjellberg! Not only is this guy the biggest gaming YouTuber, he is the biggest YouTuber of all time, having 48.17 MILLION subscribers!"

Random Occult Member 1: "48 million?!"

Random Occult Member 2: "He could have his own country with this many people!"

Lucifer: "This guy must be rich for playing games all day!"

Anon: "HOWEVER! I must point out that Felix does not play as many games as he used to in his hay day. Still though, he is no exception...the fact that this annoying Swedish man can entertain or cause controversy for stupid games or unlogical statements is beyond me. If there's one thing I cannot stand about him, it's his enormous ego, acting like he's a mighty god. He kind of reminds me another YouTuber, I think his name was Joke Pole, but he's not a gamer."

Random Occult Member 3: "What's Felix's alter ego?"

Anon: "Ooh, now this is a tricky one...see, Felix doesn't have an official persona like the others, especially since none of them have a canon appearance or voice. However, one I did choose is similar to Yandere Mark and Jimmy Casket, where this one is based off a game that Felix played named 'Lucius'. See, 'Lucius' was a game he played back in 2012, and it's about a boy with the powers of Satan; his main objective is to kill his family members without causing suspicion. For a while, people loved Felix playing as this demon-writhing kid, and he seemed to take on the personality quite well, although he had a strange obsession with a beach ball."

Leader: "I see..."

Anon: "And that's everything I wanted to say! I only have these personas, but these people have a SHIT ton of more personas than I could count, a lot of them were fucking stupid. I only chose the ones that caught my eye, which were coincidentally the popular ones."

Lucifer: "The power of shitty fanbases..."

Anon: "And this is only the start...once I make these personas a reality with a special recipe I have made, they will cause havoc, ruin the reputations of these YouTubers once and for all! These are only with 4, imagine what it would be like with every other YouTuber gamer, or YouTubers in general, big and small, destroying the platform and taking down Internet entertainment with it!"

Everyone gasped and stared in awe as Anon caught his breath from all his speaking.

Anon: "So...am I in?"

[jewpacabruhs]

I was reading your tags and please, for the love of God, write a Mafia AU. I haven't been able to find any good ones.

i wanna so bad! i find organized crime fascinating, & i’m also a big movie nerd, with crime films being my fav genre, so im super into that sorta thing. definitely would love to see it, but o boy, maybe ill jus write it myself?? gotta do everythin myself haha

i’d def go the historical route, so it’d be interesting to try to both apply characters that are firmly rooted in 90s/2000s behaviors & beliefs, and stick them in the 1900s. oh, boy, writing historical stuff is a pain. so much research. worth it tho, if it’s done well. aye, and it’ll be cool to try to keep it as nonfictional as possible. like, attempting to insert the kids (as adults, obvs) into crime history. i wonder if i could do tht? it’d be fun. it’s definitely uncharted waters. there’s a lot of potential there.

but, hmm, i think mafia aus are so rare in fandom (not just the sp fandom, but across the board) bc they contradict everything that’s popular in fanfic. mob aus would feature violence, business, finances, and corruption. whereas fics prefer cuddles, leisure time, a world where money aint an issue, and wholesomeness. and considering the majority of fic is written by horny and/or love-starved teenage girls who dont know or care about the aforementioned subjects, it makes sense. kinda a bummer, but understandable. in the defense of like everyone, lmao, those sorta fics take a lot of planning, & aint nobody got time. so i get it.

oof i think a major thing too is how gay-centric fic/fandom is, when the mobster world is undeniably a heterosexual one. thats an issue. shit, i wonder how many gay characters i could get away with while keeping it realistic. i mean, im sure there were gay mobsters, in fact i’ve read about a couple, but the lifestyles did not go hand in hand, lol.

IM STUPID NO ONE CARES ABT THIS DUMB SHIT HERES IDEAS

i’m thinking 1940s new york. im inclined towards kyman, as u probs kno, but again, the gay thing. huh. maybe i can figure it out. maybe theyre young bachelors, and theyre business partners & fuck around sometimes. we’ll see. anyway. if we’re gonna include all characters….

cartman would pull a goodfellas - he’s of, what, german descent? hell, considering his parents, he probably wouldn’t even exist in this universe. eh. well. he’d def be from yorkville, manhattan, cuz tht was a german neighbourhood. anyway he’d weasel into the italian mob, bc he’d be into the idea of 1) exorbitant amounts of money, and 2) being feared/respected. his authoritah! psh. and someone would notice how smart he is & mentor him, regardless of nationality. he’d quickly make enemies, though, because he’s rude & brash. he’d also quickly become one of the most respected young dons (would he reach that level, without a family? doubt it. he’d have to become a made man, which i believe is reserved exclusively for italians ….. ehhhh ill figure it out. maybe he’d branch out, start his own crime family. that’d be interesting. ooo.) damn, ukno, i think the 40s would make a real interesting character out of cartman. huh. yah, that’d be cool to explore, how that time period would shape him. like i said, he likely wouldt even exist. did the denver broncos exist back then? doubt it

kyle would get wrapped up in the jewish mob (which existed, and which i’d personally l o v e to be a part of lol - if i was born 100 years ago), maybe while trying to protect ike from getting involved? that’d be cool. maybe he’d demonstrate his brains & be offered a job as an accountant or an attorney, and he’d be forced to comply, either bc 1) his fam was threatened if he declined, or 2) his fam was doing bad financially & needed it. maybe both. hell, maybe he avoids the jewish mob & gets involved with the others. MAYBE IKE IS THE ONE IN THE JEWISH MOB & WANTS HIS BROTHER BACK FROM THE ITALIANS. OOOOOOOOO also they’d be from brooklyn, likely, bc that’s where jews were primarily located back then. u kno there was 400k jews in new york in 1899?? including my great great great grandparents. that’s a shit ton of jews lol. lil fun fact for ya. 

wait ok so oof this is hard now, bc the mob was primarily divided into three chunks - the italians, the jews, & the irishmen. there was also the puerto ricans, but that was, like, a different division. i’m mentioning this because nationality was important to mobsters, to all organized crimes groups actually, but south park doesn’t make a habit of mentioning what countries each character’s ancestors came from, lol. so it’d be a lot of writer interpretation. and that’s cool and all, but doesn’t give me much to work with, considering most of the kids are white and likely german/england-descended. 

i could make kenny & butters irish. that’d work. i think kenny’s last names irish, actually. they could be from hell’s kitchen, which had a p hefty irish-american population. maybe i could make stan irish, too. wendy might be able to pass for italian (little italy manhattan??? maybe the bronx??? im tryna think geography lol. for scale.). that’d work, if i wanted to put some stendy in there, bc i love making stan the token het guy, haha. maybe wendys dad marries her off to stan to form an alliance between the italians & irish. that’d be interesting. maybe cartman was rallying to get wendy to marry him, bc he needed to marry someone bc of, like, societal expectations, & she was the only girl who caught his interest. maybe he declares war on stan, to win back the bride he wants. maybe kyles best friends w stan, tht happened somehow, & interjects. goes to meet cartman to discuss a way out - ohhhhh theres my kyman babay!!! oooooo!!!

omg. plot forming. this is def an interesting concept. maybe i can use it as a chance to write a plot-oriented fic that doesn’t rely heavily on ships. that’d be awesome. i’ve wanted to do that for ages.

maybe we can squeeze christophe in as a french immigrant, maybe an associate of someone. same with gregory, but, like, british. that’d be fun. craig & tweek can be somewhere in there, too. associates of cartman or something. maybe they own a brothel. oooh. who else. bebe! maybe she can be a cabaret dancer who someone falls for. nothin wrong w hetero nonsense if it’s done right & if it aint nonsense. yah? maybe she can be ken’s love interest. also maybe token & nichole can be in there somewhere, from harlem?

this sounds fun as fuck, though, def. im really obsessed with new york right now, so maybe writing this could be a love letter to its history. that’d be dope. ooh, and im from las vegas actually, born & raised, so maybe i could do a chapter set there, considering the mob was very influential in the strip’s development. that’d be rad. holy heck. im excited abt this now. gotta finish oboitd asap & get into this, haha.

o shit. i jus realized, like, just how much research i’d have to do. like, not only about organized crime, abt 40s slang & dress, abt new york, abt everything. oooh boy this is a Project

ill get on that eventually haha, im into it now. it’s 4am rn tho so ima sleep, gnite anon

[hellshiremisfits]

The Ballad of Sorrow Creek ~ Chapter 1

Tommy: We figured we might as well tell our story here too.

Seán: Enjoy.

(Tw: mentions of eye-injury and dismemberment)

"...So then I said," Seán finished, "'How was I s'posed t' know that was yer mum?'"

Next to him, Tommy let out a nasty cackle.

"Oh, aren't you horrible men," an indignant voice hollered from the stagecoach Seán and Tommy were guarding.

Tommy slowed his horse to ride next to the carriage's window, tipping his hat in a half-mocking apology at the elderly woman inside.

"Sorry, ma'am, but that's 'ow life is out 'ere."

The woman wrinkled her nose at that, and sat back.

"If it gives y'any peace o' mind, ma'am," Tommy continued, "We're almost in Glenvale, we won't be much a bother for ya anymore."

A hefty harrumph was all he was getting. He cackled under his breath and rode up to Seán again.

"Think they gots the butcher back up?" Tommy started casually.

Seán shrugged.

"Three's a charm, y'know. What? Was Matthews right, an' yer worried 'bout yer reputation?" Seán grinned. "'What Tommy 'Smokin' Ruin' Burke burns down, stays down'?"

Tommy spat at the ground, but before he could respond, the elderly woman poked her head out of the carriage again.

"You two ought to be less proud of your horrid past."

"Sorry, ma'am, but that's 'ow life is out 'ere," Seán singsonged, sending Tommy into another fit of cackling.

Maybe that woman was out to say something to that, but one of the other passengers —a woman around Seán and Tommy's age; and a quite nice-looking one at that— got the word in first:

"What's with those birds there?"

Seán and Tommy turned to look. About five, six hundred yards away, a committee of vultures was circling overhead.

"Them be vultures, miss," said Seán. "Means something's 'bout to meet its maker."

The older woman pulled back into the carriage with visible disgust, but the younger one kept watching the vultures circle in silence.

"Miss Catherine, would you kindly sit back proper," the older woman's voice rang out, and with a sigh the younger woman vanished back into the stagecoach.

The coach rumbled on for barely ten yards or such, when Tommy slowed down his horse, raising a hand to signal the coachman to be alert.

"What's wrong?" Seán slowed down his horse as well, casting a glance around the nearby area, a hand reaching for his rifle. Tommy nodded at the roadside.

"Is that..." Seán began, "...a hat?"

"Yeah. Looks like it's someone 'bout to kick the bucket. Or a distraction, an' we're 'bout to get ambushed."

Seán craned his neck. There wasn't enough cover out here to hide a gang of bandits from sight, but better safe than sorry.

"Shouldn't you help?" Miss Catherine called.

"Waste o'time, miss, truth be told," said Tommy. "If them vultures are circling like that, the poor sod's a goner."

"You can't just leave whoever is out there to those birds," the older woman responded.

"The boys are worried it's an ambush," said the coachman, while reaching for his rifle as well. "So you better keep yer head down an' stop distracting us."

"An ambush from where?" the woman barked back, "There is nothing here but dirt, bushes and a few cacti!"

"Y' would be surprised how well they can hide a human, ma'am," said Seán as he hopped off his horse.

"The hell yer doin'?" hissed Tommy.

"'Tis a nice hat, would be a right shame to let it go to waste," Seán said, then continued in a stage whisper. "C'mon, we're too close to Glenvale for an ambush. Bandits learned better'n that the last two years." He pranced over and picked the hat up, flashing Tommy a toothy grin... which quickly faded as he inspected the item in his hand a little closer.

"Shit!" he hissed, the color in his face draining, and he burst into a sprint towards the vultures.

"What?" Tommy gawked as Seán stormed away, nearly falling off his horse as he turned in his saddle too suddenly.

"It's Quinn!" was all Seán hollered. It didn't need more.

---

It was like looking through frosted glass... or coming up from underwater. Yeah, that was more like it, 'cause Caleb certainly felt like he was drowning while his head was swimming. He felt dizzy, nauseous and tired. So tired.

Everything hurt, and when he tried to remember what happened, all his brain provided was a great big ball of nothing.

There were sounds around him, voices maybe, and slowly the blurred mess gained some dull colours. His head was throbbing like a train engine, and he was certain his innards had been mashed together into one singular innard.

"Hey..." he heard someone say and he recognized surprise in the voice, and then there was a faint shuffling sound coming through the dull ringing in his ears.

"I think he's wakin' up..."

Caleb knew that voice. He tried to search his memory. Ted? Tim? Tom?... Tommy... Caleb groaned, tried to keep his eyes open and focus on the figure taking shape in front and a little above him.

Yes. Tommy. Tommy Burke. He's... he's one of his boys. Something reminded Caleb that this was impossible for some reason, but that something couldn't say why either. He tried to say something, but managed only a pathetic croak.

"How the fuck are y'alive, boss?" Tommy said, reaching up to push sweat-soaked hair from Caleb's forehead. "Where've y'been?"

All Caleb could do was tilt his head a little.

"He's not in any state to answer, Burke," said a different voice, and Caleb recalled it as belonging to Dr. Yeung, the guy who patched him back together more often than should be possible or reasonable.

Next thing Caleb felt was a cold wet cloth on his head, and the blurry shapes pulled back.

"But he's awake," the Doc continued. "Is that the stubbornness of you Irish?"

"It did save 'im his arse often enough," Tommy insisted in an insulted tone.

"Also had me pull several bullets and nails out of it, Burke."

Tommy cackled, and Caleb felt a hand giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"You rest up, boss. Y'gotta tell us where the Hell y'been these two years."

'Hell,' Caleb wanted to answer, and didn't know why. But instead he slipped into a blissful darkness.

---

"Leave it to Caleb Quinn t' vanish into thin air an' come back two years later lookin' like someone used him for fuckin' target practice," Tommy groaned, nursing on his whiskey. It was just after sunrise, and Miss Josie and the new barkeep were hauling out the last batch of the previous night's patrons.

Seán, on the chair next to Tommy, drummed his fingers on the table.

"Yeah, an' I still can't make tails out o' how he did that."

"I dun think that's how the sayin' goes, Seán."

"Maybe... But it's something like that."

Tommy nodded wistfully, looking up at the upper floor's gallery. Seán followed his gaze.

"How often did we sit here, doin' this bloody shite?" said Seán, lips pressed into a thin line.

"Huh?"

"'e's talkin' 'bout ya sittin' here like two dogs waitin' fer their master to get out o' 'is bedroom," Miss Josie informed Tommy as she passed by, ruffling his hair to annoy him.

Tommy grumbled a little, looking after her as she sashayed into the saloon's little kitchen, before he sighed deeply, eyes on his drink again.

"A lot at the start, didn't we?" he murmured, and Seán nodded.

"And then we just gave up."

Tommy nodded back. And slammed his glass on the table before marching upstairs. Seán blinked baffled for a moment, before downing both their drinks and following.

Caleb was still out cold, and Seán found Tommy changing the wet cloth on his forehead.

"Don't think the fever's going down," Tommy murmured as Seán closed the door and pulled up a chair.

"It... will take a while. I mean, he's been put through the mangler a couple o' times now, but never..."

"I know..."

Silence followed.

"Ya think he won't wake up again after all?" Seán finally murmured, and by the sound of it those words took more energy out of him than he was willing or able to muster.

"I... dunno. I mean..."

"Ya two bloody worrywarts can't let a man bloody well suffer in silence, can ya?"

Seán and Tommy looked up, alarmed.

Caleb gave them a crooked grin, chest heaving a little with the effort it took to speak, voice raspy and broken.

"Boss!" Seán nearly lunged forward to pull Caleb into a hug, but thought better of it at the last second.

With a strained and exhausted sigh Caleb tried to stretch, just a little, and found himself unable to hold back a whimper as pain jolted through his body. He closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath, and even that hurt.

"What happened?" he said, cracking an eye open at the two men sitting by his bedside.

"You tell us," Seán said. "Doc Yeung says someone used ya for fuckin' target practice."

"Eh?" Caleb looked down on himself. He needed a moment to focus, but what he saw was not good. His chest was speckled with tiny scars, barely visible, as if something stabbed him with dozens of fine needles all at once. Worse, though a little less weird, were the circular scars around his heart and just below the ribcage, as if someone shot or impaled him there. Did someone use his own bloody gun on him? No, he'd certainly not be alive then. He traced a finger over the scars, his brows furrowed.

"Got the same on the back," Tommy said. "And some on yer shoulder as if someone stabbed ya there a couple o' times."

Instinctively Caleb reached a hand back, his frown darkening.

"How?" he breathed out, getting nothing but hapless stares from his men.

"Charlie said someone pro'bly stabbed ya back in Hellshire an' dragged ya off," Seán tried.

"But we ought to have noticed that," Tommy added. "Even with the whole chaos with the explosion and all."

"Wait, what?" Caleb blinked, and finally looked around. "Where am I anyway?"

Tommy gulped and looked at Seán, who winced.

"Upstairs of Dead Dawg," Seán said. "An'... Boss?"

"Mhn?"

"Ya been missin' for over two years."

Again Caleb blinked, staring into the distance as he sunk deeper into the pillows.

"...what?"

Tommy rose.

"I think we'll need a drink fer this," he said, leaving the room.

Seán looked after him, before his head snapped back at Caleb.

"Should we... wait?"

"Fill me the fuck in, Seán," Caleb grunted.

Seán nodded uncertainly. "What... what's the last thing ya remember, boss?"

Caleb looked drowsy for a moment.

"Hellshire," he grinned. "We did in Bayshore an' the warden..."

"Yeah... 'bout that..." Seán scratched the remains of his ear, which got Caleb to quirk a suspicious brow.

"Spit it out," he snarled, and Seán pushed his chair away. Better safe than sorry.

"It... was weird..." he said, and took a deep breath. And exhaled. He sat in silence, wringing his hands nervously. "I... don't know what happened, y'know. No one does. 'Twas like time went upside-down the moment you wandered off..."

"What?"

"Things went sideways an' right to shite when we hauled Bayshore an' the warden off to the inmates." Tommy pushed the door close with his hip, putting a bottle of whiskey down on the nightstand before he slumped into his chair exhausted. "Ya won't like this, boss."

"I figured," Caleb grunted. "So what happened? You fuckers make it sound like fuckin' Bayshore's still alive."

"It's not certain," Seán admitted, grabbing the bottle to get some liquid courage into his system. "Like, we were draggin' them off to the commons, an'... like ya wasn't with us, which was weird."

"So we went lookin' for ya," Tommy added. "I mean, to think you'd miss that..."

Caleb nodded. He remembered hobbling to his old cell, but for the love of Christ, he couldn't say why. He waved Tommy to continue.

"So, Seán here, I, Charlie, Matthews, O'Leary an' Finley went t' look for ya."

"Which saved our arses," said Seán, taking another swig.

"Aye. 'Cause, we were half-way to yer cell, when a bloody explosion rocked the fuckin' prison."

"Explosion?" Caleb cocked his head.

"Took out a good chunk of the commons an' most people there..." Tommy lolled his head. "I tell ya, that wasn't natural, and ya know I knows me explosions."

"Then the marshals an' shite came in an' arrested everyone who still got anythin' like a pulse." Seán shook his head. "The six o' us made a run for it."

"Doyle an' Hogan were hanged the next morning. Kilpatrick died of his wounds 'bout three days later. The rest was dead when the lawmen arrived."

Caleb let Tommy's words sink in, falling silent again.

"The warden's a broken man, boss," Tommy tried to deliver some good news.

"So he's still alive?" Caleb growled. His boys nodded.

"Went back t' New York or Washington, I think," Tommy said. "But..." he swallowed hard. "No one knows what came o' Bayshore."

"Charlie thinks the fucker's been in the middle o' the explosion an' that's why's nothing left o' him." Seán handed the bottle to Tommy. "An' there wasn't much left o' him to begin with."

Caleb shook his head.

"Charlie's prob'ly right," he said. He was too tired to be angry, he found, and he doubted he'd be so damn unlucky to have Bayshore escape a fair fate yet again. He sighed. "So the six o' you's all that's left o' our little gang?"

Seán and Tommy nodded.

"I mean," said Seán, "They did find us. Tried charging us, too. But no one could tell for certain what gone down back then..."

"Charges were dismissed," Tommy summarized. "An' then the townsfolk what had made a run for it when they saw Kelly's gang draggin' our men into town came back, too."

"Weren't too happy we were still breathin', boss. And didn't know what t'make o' you havin' vanished."

"Can imagine," Caleb said, looking around the room. Somehow seeing it in as good a state as it was in felt... wrong, albeit only for a moment. "And then?"

"Well," Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, "they went and rebuilt the town. An' the six o' us went and... well, rebuilt trust or something."

"Yeah," Seán picked up the thread. "Like, the whole turnin' one's life around thing. Finley's working down at the General Store, making up for chopping the owner's arm off. O'Leary went to California..."

"Looking for gold," Tommy added, and Seán nodded.

"Charlie's with the butcher an' Matthews got married last spring."

"Guess I gotta congratulate him." Caleb smirked. "And you two?"

"We didn't get married," Seán blurted out innocently, getting a snort out of Caleb and an elbow to the ribs from Tommy.

"Though..." Tommy mused, "With all the sex we're having with each other, we're technically..."

Seán all too gladly returned the elbow to the ribs.

Caleb cackled, before coughing heavily, waving the two men to sit back down as they jumped up in alarm.

"Am fine," he said. "But really, what 'bout you?"

"Working for the stagecoach most of the time," said Seán, leaning back in his chair. "That's how we found ya, too." Seán quickly recalled what happened, by now three days before; how they found Caleb more dead than alive just a couple hundred yards from the road.

Caleb listened, and nodded from time to time.

Then he exhaled heavily.

"So y'all got yer lives in order?"

His boys nodded.

"I mean... we tried to continue bounty huntin'," Tommy murmured.

"But with only six of us left, an' especially with you gone, boss," said Seán, swallowing dryly before he shook his head, and looked up at Caleb. "I mean... we did bury you. Sorta..."

"Buried?"

"We held a funeral for ya," said Tommy.

"Had to do something, y'know." Seán looked away, worrying his cuffs.

Caleb sat back again, letting that sink in.

"Are any of me ribs broken?" he asked bluntly, causing his boys to blink at him confused.

"I think no," Seán said, trying to rub his eyes as inconspicuously as possible. "Why?"

Without a real answer Caleb spread his arms.

"Come here, ya ol' wuss," he grumbled, and Seán took the invitation all too gladly, hugging Caleb tightly. For someone who had no qualms strangulating someone with barbed wire or biting someone's eye out, Seán was surprisingly sensible in every other regard. Good to know some things don't change.

Caleb patted the other man's back, and he could swear Seán started sobbing for a moment.

"Alright, now let go. Need ya boys to fill me in on the rest."

Seán sat back and rubbed his face, taking a deep breath.

"Alright so," he looked at Tommy, then back at Caleb, "when the smoke cleared at Hellshire an' all that, an' the dust settled, people went lookin' for ya, boss."

"No one b'lieved you'd jus' run off," Tommy added. "But there was no trace o' ya anywhere."

"You... were jus' gone."

Caleb looked at the two as Seán said that, an annoyed snarl twisting his lips.

"Alright, spit it out. There's more bad news, ain't there?"

Tommy took off his hat, running shaking fingers through his hair.

"Well... yeah... But I dunno if you wanna hear it."

"Hit me, Tommy. What with what ya told me so far, how can it get worse?"

"We didn't get all of Kelly's gang," Tommy admitted, "Including Kelly. They slipped out in all the chaos."

Caleb stared into thin air, lips pressed into a thin line. His boys knew better than to say anything more, but instead shuffled out of the room. And Caleb, downing what was left in the bottle, wondered if he could mark this shite up as his own brand of 'Luck O' The Irish'...

---

It took about a fortnight for Caleb to get back to his feet.

Having to stay in bed after such an ordeal had its advantages, like being able to remotely sort one's thoughts, and get some much needed rest.

Tommy had telegraphed O'Leary at some point, and the rest of the former Hellshire Gang had come by to say 'Hello' as well. With the exception of Finley, who was out of town for weeks now, as Caleb had learned.

Some of the other townsfolk seemed curious about him as well. Not that they actually came up to his room, but he saw some of them staring up at his window, and sometimes, when the saloon was quiet, he could hear them talking about him downstairs. Caleb was no fool. He knew some of them would gladly drag him to the gallows.

He knew people had always been wary of him, and that he was hardly welcome in town. The rest of his posse had done their fair deal of repenting, but him? The best he could do was stay in his room. Let them think he wasn't recovering as well as he did.

But after two weeks, that didn't cut it anymore. Caleb was getting restless. Tommy was the first to notice, and as they had just been having sex Caleb wasn't really in any position to deny it. And it was Tommy who suggested Caleb should talk to someone about it. Someone not him, Seán or Miss Josie.

So here he was, standing rather uneasily in front of the little church.

Inside the evening mass was held, and the entire little chapel fell silent as Caleb walked in.

Somehow the feeling of not being welcome here hurt more than any other occasion. A moment of awkward silence passed, before the preacher cleared his throat.

"Mr. Quinn, if I'm not misinformed. If the good Lord led you here, I'm pleased to have you with us."

"Thank you, Father," Caleb murmured, slowly taking his hat off and keeping his eyes down as he shuffled into the pew at the back of the room.

He only half listened to what the preacher was saying during the mass, murmuring along to the prayers, occasionally lifting his head to see if any other churchgoer was watching him. And they did. And he couldn't blame them.

Mass ended, and the preacher saw his flock out solemnly, till only Caleb remained, still hunched over on the bench, lost in thoughts.

"You are one of the last people I expected to see, Mr. Quinn," the preacher said, standing next to the bench. Caleb nodded him to sit down.

"Can't blame ya, Father. There been some what said it'd be more likely to see the devil in church than Caleb Quinn."

The priest nodded.

"But you are here now," he said, looking at the cross above the altar in thought. "May I inquire why?"

Caleb thought about it and sighed.

"I think I hoped y'could tell me. I'm feeling haunted, and I can't say why. I never felt like this before."

"Are you looking for forgiveness?"

"I'm beyond redemption, Father. I know that much."

"Do you yet seek it?"

Caleb scratched the scar on his neck.

"I... maybe..."

"If you honestly yet seek it means you're not beyond redemption to me."

Another sigh from Caleb.

"Yer new, Father."

"The town needed a man of God. You shot my predecessor."

"No. That was on Kelly's gang, not mine." Caleb rubbed his face. "It doesn't matter now, does it? We almost wiped out the town."

"That you did. And then the good people of Glenvale rebuilt it. Even what was left of your posse joined in."

Caleb quirked a suspicious brow at the preacher.

"Yer makin' it sound as if ya think I'd actually be forgiven."

The priest shook his head.

"Don't get me wrong, Mr. Quinn. I trust in the Lord to deliver justice. If the Lord sees it right for you to be forgiven He will guide you there. If not, He will lead you to the gallows."

Caleb nodded bitterly.

"Father?" he whispered after a while.

"Yes?"

"I..." Caleb chewed his lips for a moment. "They say I was gone for two years."

"So you were. I ought to know; I, in lack of a better word, buried you. Over on Lazarus' Heap."

Caleb's lips twisted into a tired smile.

"So I heard. Ought to be bad luck, being able to visit one's own grave."

The preacher smiled, amused.

"For all I have heard about you, you are still going to do it. But maybe it will give you closure."

With that he rose, and Caleb was alone with his thoughts again. Until he got up, too, turning towards the door, and being a little surprised seeing another visitor to the church still sitting there, just in the shadows at his blind spot while he'd been talking to the priest. Caleb furrowed his brows at the sight.

A man about his age, maybe younger, burly, his head down in silent prayer. Caleb tried to spot anything alarming about him, but ultimately wrote him off as another churchgoer with too much on his mind.

He turned, heading out of the church, turning at the door one more time out of curiosity.

The man was gone.

[yourjughead]

Wrongside of the Tracks

Synopsis: Jugheads life is changing. He has just about gotten his social worker to agree to letting him stay in the same school with Betty and his friends but still...hes gotta make friends on the Southside..some more than friends and others far less than friends

Pairing: Jughead x reader

Warning: None..swearing actually i guess

A/N: My first fanfic ever. definitely not great but Im hopefully only going to get better....hopefully. REQUEST ARE OPEN and feedback or addition ideas welcome. Sorry for any grammer or spelling mistakes, my brain thinks in Irish

NOT MY GIF. CREDIT TO OWNER.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3rd Person

“Welcome to the wrong side of the tracks little boy” a brooding, beastly, brutish (definitely too old to still be in high school) almond haired boy echoed hovering over Jugheads ear threateningly. The Whyte Worms glowing sign bounced off the raven-haired boy's mist coated locks. “So FP’s little boy just falling into our laps, what a gift, ey boyos?” his menacing eyes looking Jugheads body up and down as his friends snicker and sneer behind him closing in. “Listen I...I don't want any trouble, I'm just grabbing something for dinner” Jughead attempted to puff his chest out to appear bigger than he was. It had been a rough few weeks between his dad and moving house and fighting your social worker to keep you at Riverdale High a little longer and Betty being impossible to reason with...just in general. “Well you just walked right into it…” the leader lifted a fist as Jughead braced for impact. “HAHAHAHA GOT YA DUDE! Hah you should have seen your face! HAH names Ryan Colt” Ryan was hunching over holding his stomach laughing along with the chorus of “gotchas” and laughter behind him. “Oh..hah... Hahaha” Jughead felt the tension release in his chest and a low laughter came cautiously along with it. “Oh dude, that was great really great” he laughed further “what? Did you think we were Eastsiders or something? Members of the East-side Eagle? AHA nah dude you're one of us now, come on we're going to Mamas near the cove” he bellowed (yes yes i know Mamas i know i know shush). Jughead noticed the looks of disgust at the mention of long time rivals the East side Eagles. He didn't know much about the rivalry, just that it started before he was born and he had just guessed it was over territory or a botched deal. “Hey hey Ryan don't mention those bird brains in front of us” someone from the back slurred. “Yeah yeah whatever anyway F.P JR, by the way that's a lot of letters you should consider getting a name, come with us to Mamas” “umm sure and actually it's Jughead Jones” “HA! Jughead Jones? We should just call you JJ” “Oh no don't call me JJ, Jughead is my name no more no less” “why not J...oh shit wait wasn't that kid who was slaughtered at your school named JJ, sorry dude so c’mon ‘nough chatting let's go” Ryan swung his arm around jughead and pulled him into the group in the direction of the Mamas. Little did he know that it was there that he would meet you.

Jughead compared Mamas to Pops the minute he put his foot through the door. Instead of red finishing, blues and greens adorned the small L shaped 60s diner. Ryan and co dumped themselves at the far end of the diner. “Listen I’m just going to go to the bathroom...where is it” “no hassle Jughead, round the corner there”. Jughead ambled round the corner of the dinner and right smack bang into you coating you in a fine layer of pasta “AH JESUS! WATCH IT! MY GOD HAVE YOU EYES!” you screeched attempting to pick yourself up from the cold grime smeared tile but slipping back on sauce. “Oh shit sorry sorry I'm so sorry” he stuttered as he offered you a hand which you instantly declined. Sweeping the remaining food off yourself you stood and glared into his eyes with fire. Even though he knew you were mad he couldn't help but notice your beautiful features. “What? What are you staring at? Is there food on my face?” you say as you rub the back of your hand along your face. Jughead dreamed he too could do the same one day. “ Well I mean at least it'll come off unlike this” you say looking down at your ruined vintage Metallica tee. “Heh...um no sorry...cool shirt by the way” her face softened at this “yeah you should see it when it's not covered in Dolmio” you joked. Your smirk made his heart sing a little, not enough for him to allow it show but enough for him to acknowledge it. “Hey Jughead did you fall in or something” Ryan snickered as he rounded the corner and threw an arm around Jughead. Jughead was beginning to hate that. “Oh, Y/N” he began. Ryan removed his arm from around Jughead and stepped in front of him “what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here Kitten, you especially should not be talking to Jughead, hm?” his tone seethed with hatred. Jughead looked over Ryans shoulder and could see the anger starting to rise again in Y/Ns beautiful eyes. “I'll go wherever I want and talk to whoever I want alright Ryan? Now back off and go back to your little nest of goons” she said through gritted teeth. The two glared into each other's eyes, neither one breaking away “ummmm okay alright umm come on Ryan let's go back to the guys” Jughead interjected between the two attempting to break the growing tension. Ryan grunted in return “ Yeah ryan, go back to the guys” you snarled “Besides, Id love to stay and chat but I have actual plans tonight instead of just being a waster, you wouldn't know what that's like Ryan, you should try it some time” you remarked as you push past Ryan bumping into his shoulder as you go. Ryan keeps on staring forward where you once stood as Jughead follows your movement towards the door. You turned your head and met his eyes giving a small smile and pushed through the doors into the chill of the night. “Ryan...what the hell was that about”. Ryan remained fixed on the wall. “...Ryan…” Jughead moved to put a hand on his shoulder which he promptly shook off as he turned to look at Jughead dead in the eye “You.stay.the.hell.away.from.her. Got it?” he threatened as he stepped in closer to Jughead, towering him. “What….what do you mea..” “what don't you understand?!” Ryan cut in as he jostled Jughead back a few steps with his forearm. “stay the fuck away from her. Im warning you.” he barked as he strutted off hands in his pockets.

[avengerdragoness]

Sentence Starter Masterlist

Batfamily:

Jason Todd:

“You deserve a world without this”

"Guns? Ha! Last I remember, you had string bean arms!"

“It’s not that funny.”

“I know you liked it when they were hitting on you.” "If you would do it I would like it better" "Wait, what" "What"

"If you're not there when this baby comes, I'm going to take that gun, and shove it so far up your--"

"open it" "can you say please?"

"real smooth, tripping over air"

"Alright guys time to play truth or dare"

"well, that was... interesting"

"where have you been"

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”

“After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”

"I know I said I’d get up with the kid in the morning but I’m hoping you can’t tell I’m fake sleeping and hoping you will do it instead"

"It helps that my competition is attractive."

“I’d die for you. Of course, I’d haunt you in the afterlife but really, it’s the thought that counts.”

"I bet I could beat you in wrestling match"

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

"Yeah, because fighting crime wearing the colors of a traffic light is soooooo stealthy."

“I met your parents and your mom was flirting with me. "

"I am not jealous, I'm territorial. Jealous is when you what something you can't have, territorial is protecting what is yours."

"Get over here, Jason 'Crush Me With Your Thighs' Todd!"

"ITS PLATINUM!!!"

"Wait, you're not a virgin? do you even stay awake long enough for sex?"

"you can't just go around killing people"

"So tell me: do all vigilantes lurk or is this just a part of your unique charm?"

"Am I really gonna be a father to an actual human being?"

"Put the water balloon down."

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

Dick Grayson:

“I did a pregnancy test.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

"What do you mean I can't stay up until 4 am reading? You've stayed up later risking your life in a ridiculous costume!"

"If you sing that song one more time I will fight you"

“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

"I swear to god if you don't get off the chandelier right now"

"love first of all  if you're wearing that kilt to slag me off for me Irish heritage I'm not one fucking bit impressed and second KILTS ARE FUCKING SCOTTISH ugh but you do look the ride in it , i have to say wait there I'm posting a pic of it this gonna be great craic"

"IVE BEEN STANDING IN THIS SHOP FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN SMARTIES OR SKITTLES DONT RUSH ME !"

“What do you want me to do with this?”

"You know you have to worst name ever"

"Where do you run off to every day?" 

Tim Drake:

“Is there a problem?” “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”

"No, nothing's wrong, I was just fangirling, carry on."

"You should know by know that if you leave your cape laying around, I don't care if it's for 'superhero business', I'm going to wrap it around myself like a blanket."

“You drowned my makeup in water so I used my key to scratch all of your video game discs.”

"stop it, stop whatever the hell your doing"

'please stop staring at that stupid computer and talk to me'

"You're not meeting my boyfriend, Tim, because I'd like to date him a while before my brother kills him."

“This is your twentieth cup of coffee are you trying to break a world record or something?“

"I found you passed out, face down in a pile of coffee cups, are you ok?"

"You have to be cheating! No one is that good poker!"

"There's nothing wrong with taking a break"

"You should really get out of the house more, I almost attacked you thinking you were a vampire. And no patrol doesn't count, get some sunlight."

Damian Wayne:

“Damn, when did y/n get hot?”

"We’re camping and you think you lost the kid but they’re napping in the tent and I’m not telling you yet so you watch them better next time" 

"Damian, are you sure your dad is going to be ok with us sneaking a monkey into the Manor?"

“Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”

“His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”

“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

“Do you ever follow directions?”

"dami ..I can't find my reading glasses have you seen them ?"

"I was trained by the masters of the League of Assassins and Ra's Al Ghul himself I DO NOT SING"

"we are not going to steal someone's dog"

"i'm allowed to be obssesed with you, im your husband"

"Why is there a deer in the mansion."

"I'm better at handling swords than you"

“So that’s why you’re always gone... you’re fighting crime in tights...”

"Wait... are you actually trying to stab me with a spoon?"

"Do I have to?"

"Don't worry beloved my family will love you, if anything I'm worried about them scaring you off"

Batfam:

"Not to point out the elephant in the room, but is that a literal elephant in the room?"

                   <-------------------------------------------->

CW DC:

Barry Allen:

"Cisco I don't need you to hit on them for me."

"I don't care how much a speedster needs to eat, you touch my food, and we're going to have a problem."

"everyone can tell you lover her, it's obvious"

“im NOT jealous, but he was flirting with you"

"I'm so sorry to disturb you but....I ran out of toilet paper"

Wally West:

"you like her, don't you!" 

"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it"

Oliver Queen:

"are you jerking off or did you just find another book?"

Mon-El:

"Are you really jealous of a dog?"

"Mon-El, stop trying to make me blush, you jerk!"

Winn Schott:

"Winslow Schott, you do *not* get to saw I'm 'crabby' right now. If I seem to be in a bad mood, it's because *someone* decided to drag all the way to the DEO, first thing in the morning before I had a chance to have breakfast, without actually giving me a reason!"

                   <-------------------------------------------->

DC (Other):

Billy Batson:

"I'll give you your precious hoodie back, if you say the magic word!"

"How hasn't Bruce Wayne adopted you yet?"

"So...what happened EXACTLY?"

"y'know when you sneak around like that to transform you look super shady right?"

"You snuck into my room in the middle of the night to tell me something that could've waited till morning, woke me up by tripping over a small pile of books, and almost broke the most expensive thing I own. Remind me again why I shouldn't immediately call the cops on my best friend?" 

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Young Justice:

Wally West:

"I'd like to remind everyone to refrain from eating my food"

"I think you're just jealous cause you don't have magic powers! Or maybe you don't believe cause your so dependent on your precious science to explain everything!"

"I don't speak science, think you can translate for us non-nerds?"

Bart Allen:

"You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to him"

"I'm from the past...I knew your cousin"

"We're about to die!"/"Comes with the job!"/”You're not helping!"

"You can't be serious"

"Hey, could you help me go over these case files-...you do not have a shirt on..."

"Who do i look like, Batman?"

"How are you always late?"

"Give me back my book!! You better not spoil it!!!"

"YOU CAN SING?!?!?!?!"

"You look good in yellow"

"I promise to tell you where your snacks went, if you promise not to get mad."

“are you sure about this”

"please don’t make me say it" 

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Marvel:

The Avengers:

"oops they saw it, well surprise I guess!"

Peter Parker:

"Don't be such a nerd Parker, we need to keep this professional and intimidating."

"You're that Bug Boy Jamison keeps talking about"

"You're an arachnophobe?"

“You're gonna get me killed!"

"I dare you to kiss him."

"Explain your powers to me again"

"Could you just get me down from here?!"

"These aren't even quips! They're just bad puns!"

"I cannot believe you of all people got us detention! I always thought it would be me."

"There's no such thing as bad publicity!"

"So, what's up with BugBoy over there?"

Steve Rogers:

"When were you planning to let me know what happened?!"

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Voltron:

Shiro:

“I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”

“You’re so determined to protect yourself and your feelings, but what about me?”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

"i lost our baby"

“Are you hitting on me?”

"...Why did you throw confetti in my face?"

Lance:

“I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

"Please tell me you aren't washing a metal, mechanical, slightly magical lion with soap and water?"

“How did you even get that there?“

Keith:

"How in the world did I get you to like me back?"

“I thought it was a good idea at the time, but it now occurs to me that I was horribly wrong.”

“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” "No, Dumb-ass I'm in love with you"

"I can't believe you talked me into this."

"Keith, I love you, you know I do, but *please* tell me you didn't actually jump out of an airlock to get your lion."

“Why are you staring at me like that?” 

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid:

"i need you to breath in and out with me, this anxiety attack will pass, i......"

"I don't care what you think you know, Spence, I'm *not* ticklish!"

"God, I hate profilers! You can never keep a secret from one."

[theskyexists]

the biggest problem i had with the dragon prince is sokka’s voice for callum and the irish accent for rayla. i just cannot take it seriously

warming to her accent, but callum’s voice is just - arghghghghg

also though the king is super cool, the way he tells the story, the humans were just super shit.

ok that heart to heart was better

the fuckin naruto run lol

finding it more palatable now i know viren’s not an actually evil dude, just using dark magic is all

but episode two has got wayyy better pacing

Claudia turns out to be hella powerful and i love that

lol wtf. that line just launched millions of harrow/viren ships

(if the egg wasn’t destroyed why didn’t viren TELL harrow. viren is a shitty friend alright. edit: im thinking, was it claudia?? but she would have been too young. edit edit: viren IS a power-hungry dude, but WHY? what the hell does he want)

how did Rayla INSTANTLY decide to align herself with callum and ezran against renaan??? when he refused to back down. she seems thrilled at fighting him! what the fuck!

the scene-changing feels super unpolished tbh. it’s very realistic - and therefore not super conducive to smooth storytelling. callum goes to see the king like three times in a row. it’s like using the same word over and over in a piece of writing

gotten used to callum’s voice

all callum does at the top of the tower is fail to talk with his dad, lose his voice to viren, get it back, be convinced viren is a villain, get no response to calling his dad, dad, abandon his dad for no reason i can really see.

the plans all fail. viren lashes out and thinks callum is a shitty commoner (lol)

i dont really fuckin understand how from this mess, callum concluded that neither harrow nor renaan would want to return the egg. so little trust in harrow. and yeah, renaan wants to kill harrow, but then rayla goes against him for no real reason - to... distract him from killing harrow - which she shouldn’t particularly care about So Much (if she’s thinking about a feud, then have her reference Callum’s point) and which isn’t worth sacrificing her life for, and which won’t stop him in the long run, and even if she did, she’s willing to go back to protect him AGAIN for ....callum? i don’t get it

like, just go up there with the egg, show it to them elves, show it to harrow. ?

tonally this is fucking weird because they’re like, team-bonding about having a quest now while up in the tower right NOW all their adults are fighting each other to the death lol

ezran has gone from annoying to adorable though

SO ALL THESE GUARDS ARE DEAD!!! AND ALL THE MOONSHADOW ELVES ARE DEAD!!! (i guess?? they weren’t as invincible as they fucking said?? wtf??)

oh right Harrow, IS dead. but not really because clearly and obviously Viren did something.

hoping: that this mess resolves itself in the next episodes as the adopt a travel format.

i can’t tell exactly what makes the narrative so messy. but it feels extremely messy. i need to think about it. i think it’s because it seems super counter intuitive how all these kids are responding to the circumstances

i know they’re trying to be nuanced and create ambiguities. but i don’t know how to feel about it

they still had guards left? to carry the coffin? lol

not sure why mourning the king has to be cut short because of war. like what are they gonna do, the guards dead, apparently zero nobles in this ‘kingdom’, the princes both LOST LOL

and claudia and the brother are both completely unaffected by Harrow’s death. they’re like: damn so tired ugh im gonna have a sip of coffee in this highly sad procession. they don’t give a FUCK. oh callum and ezran are dead ? these kids shrug - i was kinda friends with em but whatever

jfc

lol CLASSIC villain, im gonna usurp the throne now Viren. what the fuck is up with him. one moment he’s like, gotta save YOU! the next he’s like, gonna get me some power

i just canNOT get a read on these characters. i know they’re like supposed to be 15 or something. but can’t tell if callum is responsible or reckless. and rayla seems like such a SUCKER one moment, and the next she’s all chagrined, one moment tormented, the next, thrilled at betraying her people.

also i CANNOT deal with the sense of humour in this. like lets spend time on recounting a stupid dream? WHO CARES. rayla comes in, oh i was so taken with your insecurity lets risk EVERYTHING. i mean??? what a LOSER. why would she give in??

‘no more detours alright?’ THEY ARE GOING ON THE FIRST DETOUR EVER AND  SHE’S OKAYED IT

this winter lodge is like, a tiny house. this king is not very rich. it’s an early king?

there are NO servants in the whole damn castle OR in the winter lodge. just soldiers, always soldiers. it’s just ridiculous. it’s frozen all over again - ROYALTY IS SUPPORTED BY A HUGE UNDERCLASS THAT DOES THE DAY TO DAY STUFF OF LIVING. (apart from it ruining realistic worldbuilding, it also feels like it just forgets about/erases the truth of everyday life, of peace, and of the unprivileged classes)

‘it won’t work, humans and elves don’t trust each other’ - uhhh ok, but why is Callum so sure of this. he has no experience

why has rayla just been ducking around the rafters and running around the roof. could just have chilled out. i appreciate that they wanna show off her cool parkour but it’s been already three times that they play her running around like a very quick ninja as ‘cool! oh wow! stakes!’

SO AMAYA JUST FUCKIN WRECKS RAYLA. i hate how literally every fight in this makes me think: great, now these two idiots are fighting each other for no real reason

OMG ELVES HAVE ONLY FOUR FINGERS?? ok thats a very cool little thing

i know this is like super on the nose storytelling like - hey actually FIGHT racist stereotypes, using them doesn’t fuckin work

but it’s so grating

lol - nobody saw the hostage bullshit comign? nobody is like, hmmmm these boys are going along with this girl suprisingly voluntarily

yeah so harrow’s spirit is definitely in a bird now. did nobody notice that just before Harrow died, he flailed about like a bird?

i can’t keep going

[swearronchanel]

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER 6.07

AHHH OMG, I was out all day & Actually MISSED the NEW episode like wtfff?!!? it was TOrture!! & I literally had to delete twitter and Tumblr off my phone because the devil himself would’ve tempted me lmfao😭 I love spoilers but not when everyone has seen the episode but me! it’s okay though I had some rum chata to distract me lol, which is just rum and horchata which is the Hispanic version of Horlicks so, At least I was in the CtM Spirit 🙃

Anyway I’m finally getting to watch it so here we go ..

shit I’m so nervous and I haven’t pressed play

why is my heart beating so fast omg

i usually skip the intro but I’m legit not ready

PHYLLIS !! 💕

damn Vanessa already hinting at what’s to come

Baby Susan so precious omg!!

No lie one of the prettiest babies I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen lots of ugly babies and lots of cute babies, I’m qualified to judge.

“Courage and resilience will matter most of all” 😭😭ahh omg

My spirit animal and campion Phyllis deserves nothing but the best I’m not ready to see her hurt

SHELAGH GETTING EXAMINED 😭😭💕💕 MY HEART IS BURSTING & her belly is so big omg!

CRYING SHE STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS HAPPENING ME EITHER BBY 😭 like holy shit I’m still not over it.

But I’m going to binge series 6 with my mother when I’m home Saturday and can’t wait for her to watch because she wanted to see shelagh have a baby & also she doesn’t know what tf has happened 😭😭😂 it’s been a crazy series! She will be s h o o k

“I know I’m just not a very relaxed sort of person” SAME but BBY RELAX 😭💕

LOL I WOULDNT HAVE READ IT EITHER

That was a cute moment with Babs and Shelagh!! But still wish it was w/ Trixie though 🙁 also it didn’t seem like a “heart to heart”? was it supposed to or was I expecting too much

Aw Rhoda 💔

what a ignorant ass teacher though, I’ll  FIGHT HER REAL QUICK

BOY OR GIRL??? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW UGH WHAT IS BABY TURNER??!

ugh Shelagh and Patrick’s faces 😫 I hope they don’t feel guilty for having a baby

But also why does shelagh have to keep wearing the same things lol, I feel cheated of all the cute maternity looks she could’ve served instead

“Having to explain” poor Mrs Antoine UGH THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY, THERE’S NOTHING TO BE EXPLAINED   I’m mixed, Hispanic and white not black and white but still my dad is tan & we’ve been places where people have given my parents the dirtiest looks and have heard a nasty comment or two & it BOILS MY BLOOD

Omg the Antoine boys are precious

TRIXIE 😍😍 my bby looks good!

PHYLLIS IN TROUSERS HELL YES

UM VALARIE CAN U NOT BE RACIST

I swear if she says anything more I’ll lose my shit

“No one can really choose who they fall in love with” BLESS U DEELS

Bless Phyllis for making sure those cubs don’t grow up to be as ignorant as their parents

“I surmise the puller of teeth is intended to admire it” SISTER MJ IS A GEM

LOL SISTER J WANTS HIM TO COME THROUGH

SISTER WINIFRED WITH ANOTHER PRICELESS FACE IM DEAD

A bassoon? Lmaoo what the actual fuck Tim

Oh it’s for girls ofc LOL give him a girlfriend already, I’d get such a kick out of it. & Patrick could make another dad joke and say like take a lesson from me I legit beat God over a woman’s heart

The Mullucks fam 😭

Patrick with Susan omg aww

Trixie looking like a b a b e I’m dead 😍

“You’ll look like you’re trying to hard” DELIA HAHA OMG SHE GETS LIKE ONE MIN OF SCREEN TIME BUT SHE ALWAYS HAS GOOD LINES

I need Trixie’s everything, no joke. HOW

But I’m dying my hair blonder this week don’t play

Ah my bby shelagh again 😍💕

I feel so sorry for Patrick like this wasn’t your fault

LMAO SISTER WINIFRED CANT CONCENTRATE IN COMPLINE  SHE IS ANNOYINGLY PRECIOUS

She’s scared to take her driving test aw 😂😂 same like I have my permit but I’m scared to fail the actual driving test

“Oh I have a soft spot for the Antoines” PHYLLIS TIENE UN GRAN COROZON 😭

Omg Mr and Mrs Antoine are so cute too, dios te bendiga 😰

Christopher being a flake wtf no me gusta

Sister W is in on the drama like Sister B was, am I right??

LMAO HER RUN

Prosthetics are so wild, my abuelo has a prosthetic leg and I was so interested when he first got it. But also I’m going to hell for being evil because I joke around way too much when he’s extra senile

“People call my kids hair frizzy, but I think it’s beautiful” MY HEART😭💔 literally my mom was the same with me. Defensive over my curls - even tho my hair is frizzy sometimes😭

The song though, took me a second to process but that’s my bby shelagh’s song ?? Ummm wut

lol sister Winifred hella late, let me guess this will make her want to drive?

this prosthetic place is so great wow omg

damn it Bernie

PHYLLIS LOVES THIS FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM ALL OMG 😭😭

GET THE RUM ! or I will lol

ah never mind

LOL SISTER W AGAIN & PHYLLIS SHAKING HER HEAD

the question is, does/has sister Winifred drink/drank ? she seems like a light weight

fuck is this when it’s gonna happen

I’M NOT READY DAMN IT

damn Bernie..

UGH MY HEART IS RACING IM SO ANXIOUS AND SCARED AHJXKWLXM

HOLY SHIT OMGGGG

THAT WAS SO HARD AHH OMGG

IM FUCKING SCREAMING

Phyllis is in shock o h m y g o d

I can’t process this either

OMG I CANT DEAL

PHYLLIS IS SOBBING, IM SOBBING WTFFFF OMGG 😭😰😰😰💔💔💔

MY FUCKING HEART

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OMG

AW SISTER W ASWELL UGH WTF I SHOULDNT FEEL SO MUCH

LMAO OMG THANK U FOR COMIC RELIF

TIM SUCKS LMAO stick to the damn piano boy

PATRICK AND SHELAGH GIGGLING OMG MY HEART IS OKAY NOW 😭😭💕💕

SHELAGH AND PATRICK BEING SO CUTE IM CRYING

DAMN THALIDOMIDE

DAMN THAT CAR UGH  

DAMN IT ALL

LOW FUCKING BLOW BERNIE THAT WAS NOT HER FAULT

BABS TRYING TO COMFORT PHYLLIS  IM CRYING AGAIN

SHE IS SO HURT, I AM SO HURT, IM A BLOODY MESS OF TEARS. IM SOBER AND SAD NOW & THERE’S MASCARA In MY CONTACT LENS & MY 3yr OLD GREMLIN LITTLE COUSIN IS KICKING ME (lol he’s laying next to me)

AND CARRIE CRYING NOW OMGGG NO LENNY WONT DIE STOP

“That lovely gp of yours” lol does everyone have a crush on Dr Turner but me? Lol don’t come @ me pls I’m sorry I know people love him 😭😭 Im here for Christopher and Tom But He is handsome, just in an older man way Lmaoo guess it’s cause he could be my dad 😂 lol he’s older than my dad

I’d take him as a sugar daddy real quick though. I need my tuition paid and he is so sweet😏 😭😂

So it was a scarf, hmm I thought trixie was gonna find like stockings or something

“Not Hermès but something very like it” lol how does Trixie know what Hermès feels like on a nurses salary?

Valarie is on my nerves & she’s had like 2 mins of screen time Lmaoo I’ve liked her until this episode. I hope they don’t ruin her for me

“But I’m a member of the institute of advanced motorists”  UGH PHYLLIS IS A GEM WHO DOES NOT DESERVE THIS !! SHE IS THERE FOR EVERYONE ALWAYS, SHE ALWAYS DOES GOOD WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO HER?

Aw Sister Winifred

Oh Rhoda 💔💔she’s such a great mother

MY HEART, THEY WERE WALKING AWAY FROM BEING TEASED

BLAME THE RACISTS, IT IS ALWAYS A VALID BLAME

YES PHYLLIS IS A GOOD WOMAN! 😭😭

Tom trying to comfort Phyllis😭😭

“You’re fond of your meat, and our views on God and His existence are divergent to say the least, but we both follow vocations…. so if you caused harm to someone else, even inadvertently would it not make you question what everything in your life has come to stand for?” I’m c r y i n g

“I, a rational woman, have no one to question but myself” 😭💔

IM REALLY HURT

“Sometimes cheering people on the sidelines doesn’t help”

my bby killing it 😍

Why you being a flake Christopher? go ahead man tell her about your kid

BRUH YOU DONT TELL HER LIKE THAT LMAO

he’s divorced ah, thought it was out of wedlock. I don’t care though haha

NO DRINKS FOR TRIXIE, TELL HIM BBY.. in your own time of course 💕

BABY SUSAN SO PRECIOUS

Fred brought her car ugh And Phyllis is still so hurt as am I 💔

This lady is so sweet! I hope she and Rhoda become friends right now

DID SHE TAKE DISTIVAL TOO?

lol wait where are the Turners I miss them??

“.. and the words ‘Nonnatus house this is not a midwife speaking’ are most unlikely to reassure the caller” SISTER MJ!

YES SHE DID OMG. I need them to be best friends omg 💔😭

“Nothing was said, nothing was done” 💔💔

PHYLLIS LOOKING AT THE CAR

SISTER MJ IS GOING WITH HER MY HEART OMG

my heart my heart

aw the mullucks'😭 ofc IT WASNT YOUR FAULT!

SISTER MJ IS A GEM 💕😭 & PHYLLIS IS JUMPING BACK IN

TWO GEMS 😭💕 but also if this was the birth they meant that sister MJ was involved in ill be lowkey sad, but we shall see next week if she’s randomly with Shelagh when she delivers

Trixie serving more looks 😍

Aw my bby 💔does she tell him about her alcoholism at the end of this ?

Also what are we guessing about Valarie rn?? she has a secret? tragic backstory to be unlocked? what ? She gay?

Aw the mulluks’s again! All so sweet💕 & YES LYDIA BE FRIENDS

ugh Christopher looks good af😍 and that car yes

YES TRIXIE 😍 my girl looking good as well

SHE TOLD HIM 😭 IM CRYING IM SO PROUD 😭😭💕💕WHY DO I FEEL SO PROUD FOR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER??! I love her

Oh shit Patsy’s dad is dead. I assumed that was coming

Phyllis reassuring Delia awww

PHYLLIS BACK AT THE CUBS 😭 MY CHAMPION AND SPIRIT ANIMAL BOUNCING BACK

Lenny’s speech omg brb crying

The support group for thalidomide victims omg my heart

I was cryin before and now I’m crying more for this Irish lady

Omg side side side note there was this cute old interracial couple that seem like my parents in 20yrs in JFK yesterday that were so precious and sweet and we’re talking to me the whole time waiting at the gate & then there was this sweet Irish couple who were confused about the time difference and I helped them out and then when we landed they helped me out looking for my bag so now I have much more faith in humanity because usually the people in NYC airports are angry new yorkers who don’t care lol like me (jk)

“There’s no rule of life so simple or so true ..” 😭😢💔💖

Thank u Vanessa I’m so emotional, show me next week 

Bonus: next week

OMG PHYLLIS HUGGING SHELAGH OMGGG. I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED TO SEE THIS

PHYLLIS BETTER DELIVER THE BABY I KNOW I WANTED TRIXIE BUT IT DOESNT SEEN LIKELY AND SO INEED PHYLLIS (sister J too ofc?! She was barely in this past episode)

MY BBY SHELAGH’S TUMMY IS SO BIG IN HER UNIFORM OMG SHE’S SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HER I MISSED HER THIS PAST EPISODE

BUT OH MY GOD BABY TURNER IS COMING HOLY SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL

HERE COMES THE PILL READY OR NOT #LETSGETIT1962

Lol oh shoot I didn’t take mine yesterday or today brb

AW DELIA

WHAT IS SIGNIFICANT ABOUT BABS SLEEPING I NEED TO KNOW

Lol idk why but even though I like Tom and Babs their relationship just doesn’t do anything for me😂😂 like I don’t give a shit? They’re cute but idk it doesn’t cut it. Like they’re just there and I’m like “aw ok”

OMG I CANT WAIT WHAT WILL HAPPEN ?! I NEED ANSWERS

I will die next week. For real.