#but i cant draw a head or face at all so
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kids nowadays dont even draw bad anymore they watch the same 3 popular art style tutorials til their eyes melt then jump onto their ipad and get fully booked for commissions at 14
#i do get a little mad from jealousy but also their scope is so limited bc all they can draw is muscular webtoon style man headshots#and vtuber style headshots of women usually#but i cant draw a head or face at all so#ALSO on this topic i see so many 13-16yos taking comms and like..is that legal is that allowed???#i feel like when i was those ages it was a big no no#child labor laws for the self employeed very curious
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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axolotl
#covers my face. this is dumb theyre dumb idk what was going thru my mind making this.h#i like this brush tho i think ill keep using it#i had this thought awhile ago that axolotls kind of remind me of macs ears. and i had a nice thought that if wukong ever saw one#he'd say the same thing. and thats why im sitting here with my head in my hands#macaque doesnt know if hes embarassed amused or straight up smitten. its all 3#i have such a hard time drawing necks and shoulders.. mac is supposed to kind of hunch up his shoulders#the way some ppl do when they bow their neck down kind oflike. defensive-tucking in position when theyre making themselves small#i cant really get it to look right so it kinda looks like his head is sunken too close to his shoulders. so i guess ill keep practising#maybe if i brought his head closer to the collarbone it will look better. but i struggle with foreshortening so theres a chance itll#just look like his neck starts at the collar. ughhh#god have mercy if i ever draw hugs. i hate positioning the shoulder i hate hate hate it. 10 dead 17 injured#i have new design note ideas for em but ill post another time#myart#doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk liu er mihou
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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started playing recently so here's my Tav from BG3. Clerics that dabble in a bit of silliness
bonus since im spinning him in my mind:
#cant stop making purple characters oh whatever. next tav will be different i promise..... perhaps#my art#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate tav#bg3 gale#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate astarion#baldurs gate gale#i actually Do Not think he's right for astarion necessarily but i have been Gripping that guy since b4 game came out so im still trying#Gale has been turning my head more tho so? Gale era? i wnt force yall to see a yt man over and over tho making him SA/SEA or latino#tbh i like all of the romanceable choices and then some tho. wyll haters dni! gale boring believers dni!!!!!!#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#anyways this is nice practice for me to draw older characters. smooching virens face hehe i should make his eyes deeper
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hello. i am having severe feverish g/ojo thoughts.
"You mean him severely fevered, or that the thoughts are se-"
Yes.
#thats it thats the post thats all ive got#there is an image of his normally pale face flushed#all the angles standing out with each brilliant curve illuminated from the warm glow#sweat soaked hair clinging to his forehead as his normally playful mask is slipping#tongue peeking out through his teeth as he sucks in sharp breaths trying to retain what little control he has left#the world around him starting to feel a bit further away#he can't seem to quite focus enough to pick individual shapes out from the masses#im so out of my mind right now but i just cant stop thinking about this#if i could draw better... you better believe i would be drawing this...#i might do it anyways but unlikely because the image is so pure in my head and i dont want to dirty it#ANYWAYS im posting this here because uhhhhh well honestly because i just need to say it somewhere its rotting my soul
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Im cooked...
#its jover for me yall#im down BAD#capitalized underlined written in big letters in red pen five exclamations marks highlighted circles and arrows draw around it BAD#we came back on sunday and they were flying back from mexico and they asked me if they could come see me when they got here at like 2am#and i was like yes of course but only if ur not too tired#and they said no amout of sleepy could keep me from seeing you#girl#GIRL!!!#UUUUUHHGGHHHHHH#and AND#the WORST PART#their ACTUAL PARTNER had NO IDEA whether they were coming back to campus or not#BUT THEY HAD MADE PLANS TO SEE MEEEEEE UUUUUHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHH#i didnt end up seeing them cuz they got back literally as their partner walked me home but i got to see them for breakfast the next morning#and then last night we were all chilling in their room cuz they are roommates and their room is sick#and we'd all been sitting on the floor and when their partner left they cuddled closer to me and kissed the top of my head n stuff#the usual#and we chilled and then i went to kiss them and i started with their cheek like usual and they moved their head so i could get their neck#and i started kissing their neck and they held me closer and moved closer so i could get more of their neck and they burried their face in#my shoulder and i had one hand on their shoulder and the other on their thigh (that hand had been there before we started kissing)#and then they moved their head back and i kissed their cheek again and we stopped and smiled at each other but like broooooo#uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh#YOU CANT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE#i think about them ALL THE TIME now and the way they smell and the way they feel and their smile and their eyes#PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO#if the yearning doesnt kill me the heartbreak will if their partner was not aware this was happening and they break up and i loose all my#friends will but yaknow#cross that bridge later i guess haha ahaha heh :/#she speaks!
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Not being good at art is the most frustrating thing in the world
#im such an imaginative person#i have ideas for characters and creatures and landscapes and animations#but no matter how vividly i visualise them my hands cannot replicate it#and the fact that it would take years of practice to draw something i can picture right now pisses me off so much#all of these amazing ideas only exist in my head and not being able to have a proper visual of them makes me so angry#i know art takes a lot of time and effort and practice#but its so so so so frustrating in a way that i cant totally put into words#im willing to put the effort in#but it really frustrates me that i could practice for weeks and see only a tiny bit of progress#i think this is why i struggle to learn new skills#my brain knows the theory but it doesn't know how to put that in to practice#i know how to do it but at the same time i cant#god i hate this#i wish id gotten into art when i was young like my parents and sister#their so incredibly talented and i know it took a lot of work for all of them to be that talented#im a good writer but its so frustrating that i cant have a visual representation of my characters and creatures and world#in a way that satisfies me#anyway thats my rant about art sorry#edit: nearly started crying trying to draw a simple face shape so thats fun
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if horror game in horror genre, then why monster have scary face???? i want horror game!!! NO SCARY FACE!!!!!!!!! only horror game <3
#incoming ramble about scary faces in horror games spooking me too bad#just wish i could like listen to it like a podcast#i get this thing where a very particular genre of images#generally any scary character in analog horror will fit in that genre but yeah like big long distorted mouth realistic eyes usually#can be different tho#but yeah those images get stuck in my head and freak me out in a very intense instinctive almost like primal animalistic way#and when i say stuck in my head i mean i see them every time i close my eyes for hours on end after i so much as think about this image#i am not exaggerating when i say i see that image every time i blink#it’s not as bad if i’m just remembering it as opposed to having just seen it but it can be bad either way if i have a decent memory of it#and this causes intense paranoia#like yknow it’s behind me if my back is exposed it’s right in front of me if i’m in the dark it’s outside my window above my head etc etc#it’s really bad idk what’s going on with me but yeah it sucks bad dude i just have to avoid content like that at all costs#WHICH SUCKS SO MUCH#BC ANALOG HORROR ALWAYS HAS THE BESTTTTTT STORYLINES#IM SO MAD#THINGS LIKE THE MANDELA CATALOGS AND THE FUCKIN OTHER ONE YKNOW THE OTHER ONE HAS A H IN IT I THINK#SOUNDS SO INTERESTING STORY WISE#BUT I CANT FUCKING PLAY IT OR EVEN WATCH SOMEONE PLAY IT BC ID DRIVE MYSELF UP THE BLOODY WALL#EVEN THE MY LITTLE PONY INFECTION AU!!!!!!#I HAD TO BLOCK TAGS/KEYWORDS FOR MLP INFECTION ACROSS ALL PLATFORMS BC I GOT MY SHIT ROCKED BY TWILIGHT FUCKING SPARKLE#LITERALLY FURIOUS I LOVE THAT SHIT IT SOUNDS SO COOL BUT I CANT LOOK AT ANY ART FROM IT ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT IT GETS IN MY HEAD#ONCE I SAW A GOOD OMENS VIDEO AND IT WAS JUST A CUTE LITTLE DRAWING OF MURIEL!! CUTE SWEET PRECIOUS LITTLE OFFICER OF THE LAW!!!!#AND THEN AT THE END IT FLASHED A FRAME ALL CLOSE UP WITH THEIR FACE ALL TWISTED AND DISTORTED AND ELONGATED#SOILED MY BLOODY BREECHES I DID. CRAPPED MY BLASTED PANTALOONS I DID INDEED.#SAW THAT WRETCHED COP BEHIND MY EYELIDS FOR THE NEXT 45 MINUTES I DID.#THE WALTEN FILES THATS THE OTHER ONE#NO H IN IT#CANT WATCH IT YHO SO WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT THE H
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I just had a dream where Odile adopted Aubrey and she grew up a lot happier and then Aubrey was living in this fancy looking place that Odile entrusted her to cuz she still goes on journeys so she'd visit Aubrey from time to time. And this dream also gave me a beautiful black woman character that I'd never seen before and is most likely my brain mashing together stuff that I've seen throughout the day and decided: Alright, this will be a gorgeous black woman. And yaknow what? So real of my brain to do that.
#aria rants#also in that dream aubrey was hiding from odile the majority of the day cuz she was preparing a surprise party for her birthday#so aubrey would send the servants to odile with letters that's just her tryna get odile to go everywhere BUT the rooftop#until odile just stayed on the rooftop bench anyway cuz tired from that weird adventure in the mansion guided by aubrey's letters#and then she heard voices nearby and hugged aubrey from behind as a surprise greeting and its just a really sweet dream#thats also when i saw the lady which was called the head housemaiden but thats definitely not euphrasie#she has short auburn curls (which im PRETTY SURE is the same colour as the orange autumn tree leaves from biomes o plenty mc mod)#and she has a reaaally cool pair of earrings which are big hands that looks like its holding her face (like the art from inochizuna mv)#the right hand was pitch black with stars on it (like the hands of my design for The Universe)#and the left hand was a deep red (like the red hands from omori). she also has the ability to see the future which was a bit#of information odile gave me when she wanted to sneak up on aubrey. she saw the ''head housemaiden'' and thought:#''she mustve foresaw my arrival'' cuz the lady looked back at the place odile was hiding and smiled#im soooo drawing the design. im gonna be having another oc and its all my dreams fault i cant believe it
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Why do I say things like this. Like what was the need. Why do I feel the need to jinx myself. What was the reason.
#lol just looking thru my drawings and i saw that tag#and im like YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT IM BURNT OUT! I BLAME YOU(catie from that specific day)#anyways trying to draw nando and ITS NOT GOING WELL YKNOW#i still really struggle with drawing real people#seb is okay bcs ive drawn him the most and like have stared at his face for hours so...familiar...yeah...#and i do in fact look at a fuckton of nando pics BUT GOD HIS FACE IS SO DIFFICULT#he just has very like odd features i guess. AND HES VERY HANDSOME FOR IT but god they do not lend to easy drawing#i miss oc drawing where theres no accuracy really required since its all from my head#not that im never drawing ocs again. theyre still my beloved but i dont rly have any ideas atm for them :<#wanna draw rüß as an f1 driver tbh bcs ive been maladaptive daydreaming about that for the past few weeks#but as you know im somewhat allergic to drawing racesuits 😭#also im wondering if drawing chibis so much fucked up my sense of style bcs now i struggle sometimes w proportions#i just. dont want to be burnt out anymore. i know its something you cant really force yourself thru#and also that you shouldn't force yourself cause it just makes it worse but#idk. i wanna draw so badly 😭 and i do it and sometimes it works out and sometimes im just staring at the screen like. oh.#i want to also finish the pt 2 to the boy king ficlet. i always randomly add a few paragraphs to it#blah blah anyways just thinking. i feel a bit frustrated and unfufilled atm i guess#like that feeling in your chest of tightness. its the worst. i wanna throw something or break something i guess#PLEASE JUST LET ME DRAW MY PORTRAIT OF KING NANDO IM BEGGING#he'll be so pretty okay 😭😭 i just cant get his fucking face right#ignore me ignore me. catie is: going through it#i miss the sense of urgency that drawing before my flight gave me#i like having that sense of incentive and deadline. like: you genuinely need to finish this right now.#if not then its me creating meaningless deadlines in my head that actually make me have worse burn out 🙃#i love how before texas im like i am going to finsih all my wips!! anf then finished exactly: zero#catie.rambling.txt
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have a tokyo meetup wip
#reezdoodles#knb#trying so badly to beat the same face allegations actually#momois taking the picture because otherwise they wouldnt be doing this#kagami going 'hey midorima rest ur head on mine so we can all fit in the picture'#midorima being like 'no thank you. i will stay standing.'#'but then we cant fit ur too tall--' 'not my problem'#midorima bends down a bit and only momoi notices but she doesnt say anything#IM DRAWING ONE W FIVE OF THEM I PROMISE
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most agonizing activity in the whole wide world is working on a gay/horny drawing and getting too flustered to keep looking at it every 5 minutes. and im trying to work on TWO (2) of these right now so you can guess how thats going
#yes i can think about sugihen mermaid in a manhole au all day and openly post about it but DRAW it???? insane#henmi is literally looking right at me i cant do this. i managed the last weird drawing by not looking at his face 90% of the time. but the#sketch stage is the hardest part cuz i need to make sure his head isnt too big compared to his body of course#im gonna have a great time when i get to rendering the pus yayyyy i <3 drawing pustules. im normal. but his gay face. looking at me#dont even get me started on ienaga. objectively less weird by a mile. objectively entirely normal. but ummmm shes so 😳 im shy#og post
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ANOTHER DEATH BY INMOLATION???? ENOUGH!!!!
#really happy about being wrong about oden. normally when you see something is badly written it is true but here oden being alive being bad#writing was a trally a gotcha moment.... well unlike with pell and laki and wiper..... and conis' dad....#ashura....... and kanjuro is still alive...... this man deserves an execution#is this orichi??? the beheaded one was a kanjuro drawing too???? jesus#orichis fruit is a dragon with a lot of heads.... maybe he can regrow them lmao....#omg double hakai.... goodbye my brave soldiers.... ZORO?? ENMA IS A GODSEND YOU OWN ALL YOUR LIVES TO HIYORI....#zoro got hurt and luffy is on the offensive again..... exactly..... YES RED ROCK!!! BUT DON'T MISS!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1025#oden and kin on a flower field..... okay......#luffy stopping the attack meant for zoro.... oof#kaido's face knowing this was gonna hurt....#kid and traffy catching luffy too..... everybody loves luffy.....#how can luffy just stop kaido's attack like that's insane....#the others attacking big mom... that was such a big brain move.... they made teams here... luffy and then the brains (everyone elseÑ#jesus. that was something else#luffys giggle and smile when kid and tragfy catch him... he is so happy when people are there for him..... he loves fighting with friends :)#episode 1026#OMG GOODBYE BIG MOM!!!! SHE IS IN THE SEA I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!#TRAFFY RATHER LET THE MISSION FAIL THAN ONE OF THEM DIE??? OMG#HOW IS PROMETHEUS IN THE WATER?????? FUCK OFF!!!!#they are bullying zeus lmaooo INTERNAL FIGHTING!! INTERNAL FIGHTING!!!#luffy knocked out and atill looking at kaido again.... ooff#this is insane. luffy just saved zoro and told him he wont need to die and here he goes again. oh this time i migh fr die. take care goodbye#the bleeding... oof THE SCAR JUST AS THE ONE HE HAS.... goodbye zolo..... rip bozo... don't fall like that man..... ass up like sanji...#he got a 2x1 hit..... goodbye law too.... kaido's eye when he notices luffy is up again.... also haoshoku..... i dont wanna look it up.....#nvm is the conqueror's haki.... i do not remember the og names AT ALL#episode 1027
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#letting go. rather. been doing things in a day lately.#if it goes past 2 days im not allowing it. bc i need to stop obsessing over everything.#so ofc i took the time to have my daily doodle be bullshit as always.#i do need a break tho. pain bad. very bad. need to charge up bc this month is fucking busy. need to stop drawing .#ghost stories quote popped up in my head with this one. it is what it is.#irony of this one. forced myself to draw something about trying to quell the Perfectionist demon in a single day.#acceptable.#fk#m fk#c-c fk#i honestly cant remember the last time my pain was at a 6 or lower. its just been. 7-9 range for months now. im miserable. its whatever. i#kind of doubt i'll ever be that low again at this rate. its like. 2020 all over again. i cant. take it.#kinda hopeless but still here unfortunately#future isnt scary. its terrifying. its petrifying. dont want to live in this much pain anymore#sigh.#thats why doodles done in one day are good. less stress on drawn-out things.#hard for me tho.#ngl tho i found it unreasonably funny drawing this. i was quite physically cracking up imagining like. ok. youre quite literally choking to#death. and your face is all red. but only one half on account of the Syndromes. idk. idk why i found that so comical. i couldnt contain#my shit. so much so that i almost became the very picture i was drawing. bc i began to choke on the pizza i was eating. only for a#fleeting second. but still. saw my life flash b4 my eyes.#also a firm believer that pretentious artists are fucking stupid and annoying and at times quite ableist. and i personally revel in how i#literally am just like.oh. my anatomy i drew looks fucked up? botched hands? flat collar? asymmetrical eyes? like jokes on you. those thing#in my irl LEGIT are like that so technically my 'wrong/bad' anatomy is correct. suck it. however me drawing the brachial region vs me#drawing anything else is silly.#bc the amount of knowledge i have for the anatomy there specifically in comparison is so much more vast. so like i hyper render collars#and necks. meanwhile whenever i try and draw anything else im crying bc its such a struggle due to the fact that i dont fucking understand#how these other places work.
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...
#stumbling through one moment to the next like ive just been hit in the face#which is to say disoriented. punch drunk. adrift in a sea of mental vertigo#to steal a phrase: emotional motion sickness#i dunno. its just a very specific feeling when ive burned thru all my steam and am moving purely on compulsive action#like someones dragging me forward by the hair. i start to peel apart. im moving but without thinking actions into being#ill be in the middle of an action and my brain catches up. oh? where am i? what am i doing? ok i guess im on autopilot#thats fine i guess. and i start slipping out of my body. which isnt so bad until im trying to draw and then i cant bc my attention keeps#sliding away. i cant draw when im not sitting in my body.#im in the 3 day lul between taking measurements. this is my break. i say as i stay here from 7.30 to 5.30 bc of the other things i have to#do. and i haven't got the data ready for a meeting tomorrow so fuck the rest of my day i guess#ugh. i at least accomplished some things yesterday. but im in a standoff between saying fuck it and paying for an apartment vs waiting to b#contacted by student housing when there's currently a waitlist. i just wanna kno i have a place to go#also ive fucked myself over on another thing i havent done and dont kno how to start. uuuuuugh.#when i take my headphones off my brain has a lag that sounds like static and whispers#y am i doing this to myself? given the choice to make it better or worse i choose worse at each turn#so here we r. worse and worse and worse. have i fucked it all up? maybe so. well see#i have to go in tomorrow too. and i have a meeting Thursday. and thrn were back to 11hr days until Tuesday#then if i have to attend a birthday party my head might fucking explode#unrelated
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