#i know how to do it but at the same time i cant

[softness-and-shattering]

I was writing tags but I think it deserves main post.

Something I know multiple people to do is get a pet so that you have a life relying on you. You cant do it today because who will feed the cat tomorrow?

And as a bonus, looking after an animal really helps you have compassion and look after yourself. Ive experienced this personally*.

Animals, especially cuddly ones are also super therapeutic. Just holding or touching a warm living creature is really powerful, especially but not exclusively if youre lonely or touch starved. Its comforting. You feel less alone. Theyre affectionate towards you, and that makes you think there must be something about you worth loving because theres a cat climbing on you and purring. It doesnt know about human troubles and self esteem and reputation and work. It knows you are person. You feed it. It sees you every day. It loves you. Youre lovable. Youre worthy of love. This weird creature says so.

This isnt necessarily the right advice for everyone so do think about it; eg dont get a dog if you cant consistently leave the house to walk them. Cats do better indoors, and they need more than just food water and litter change. Brushing, love, play, vet visits etc. I dont know anout keeping fish but that might be easier. You could also try a plant. Its surprising how effecting it is to have a living being with you, even if its just a tiny succulent in a pot that doesnt ever move. Its still alive and thats powerful. If youre keeping it alive thats also an incredible feeling. One time when I was living alone and isolating myself, a friend left me a little succulent at the door when I said I wasnt up for actually interacting. And it made a really significant difference which was so surprising to me, its so small! But its *alive*.

*I once had a psych ask if Id ever had a pet, I said no, he said ok so try imagine. The same way you love a pet unconditionally no matter what it does, try feel that way about yourself. I did not viscerally understand what he meant till I got a cat, who could be a mischievous stinky slippery little shit, and I loved him with all my heart no matter how upset I also was at him. This wasnt something I had experienced before.

Another time Id moved somewhere new and I was talking to my cat about how it must be scary for him, in a new place with new sights and sounds and smells. And then I realised, hey, *Im* in a new place with new sights and sounds AND smells, and its ok if I feel a bit wobbly about it. We can be a bit wobbly and comfort each other together.

Seriously, having a Little Guy follow you around and love you is the best. Pet ownership is one of my best life decisions.

So there is a lot of bad stuff going on right now, and I'm sure there are lots of people feeling hopeless and thinking of suicide. Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years and I have a few practical pieces of advice for surviving that I rarely see in other places but I think have done more to keep me off the ledge than almost anything.

1. Don't feel guilty for wanting to kill yourself. Life can be extremely painful, and you are not weak, a coward, or irrational for considering the obvious way to alleviate that pain. Guilt on top of the rest of your pain will not help, and you are not a bad person. You are going to have to tell yourself this a lot.

2. If you think you might do it, find an excuse to live. This is different from a reason to live in that it is short term and shallow. For years my excuse was that I still had enough money to buy a pizza and I'd be damned if I didn't get my last pizza before I died, and if i still wanted to kill myself after the pizza then I had lost nothing. I swear this kept me alive through some of the hardest years of my life.

3. If you have an online friend you can trust, ask if they would be willing to do check in duty occasionally on your worst nights. It's very simple, on bad days where hurting yourself is a real possibility, ask your friend if they can send you a message at regular intervals, say 15 or 20 minutes, confirming that you are safe. It can be as simple as "check?", with you responding "I'm ok". Being immediately held accountable makes not doing it so much easier. I asked a friend to help me like this about two weeks ago to deal with a really bad self harm day and the difference between trying to do it on your own and simple check ins is astounding. It hurts so much less.

4. You die with nothing left on the table. This is for when it's over and you are going to kill yourself. You have a plan, you are ready, and you want to. At this point you are effectively dead. Which means there are no consequences. You can finally do the thing that you were always too scared to do. Maybe it's quitting your job, or confessing to your crush. For me it was coming out as trans. This is your last ditch effort, so if it blows up in your face and ruins everything it is no loss because your plan will still work tomorrow. You were already dead anyway, who cares if you left behind a bit more chaos.

[blkbbyprincess]

turn up the temp! arcane!vi x blk!reader nsfw

vi likes a girl with a mouth on her; a girl who knows her way around some pussy.

a girl who has the ability to pull a variety of enticing sounds from her throat, leaving her with a sore one after she’s been eaten sloppy.

a girl who's got it all figured out and knows exactly what she wants from you and how she’s gonna get it; with experience of course.

that particular girl would be you.

the same girl she was currently snickering under the covers with in this bastardly wintery weather; all cuddled up on each other like penguins trying to keep warm and prevent catching a cold or worse.

if someone happened to see you two right now, it would be a good laugh; a great one even. it was almost ridiculous how you and vi were quite literally spooning each other trying to get some kind of warmth.

“your feet are freezing you fucker, get em off me” vi giggled.

you’re no better; your hands are freezing my back, you know that? you shot back with a sneer.

“how the hell else are we supposed to warm up if the air conditioning is jacked? i’d like to hear a better suggestion, genius.”

“i meannnn, there’s always one way we both like.”

so there you were, licking at vi’s clit from under the covers with two fingers in her vagina; opening and closing them in a scissoring motion to better stimulate her.

“-fu-fuckkkk, that’s it babygirl.”

Her voice quivered as she struggled to stay silent, desperate not to create enough noise to provoke the neighbors into beating the door down again. but it was nearly impossible to hold back when she was experiencing head of a lifetime.

she often found herself curious about where could you have possibly learned how to eat pussy like this?

she hoped and prayed it was only because of an overwhelming amount porn or something; because if she were to find out another girl had experienced this that she was feeling; she would surely die.

she quickly brought her hand to her mouth, letting out a sharp gasp as your tongue found her g-spot. waves of pleasure surged through her, and she could already sense her climax approaching, even though barely ten minutes had passed.

she was trying her best to hold out for you, because in all honesty, as much as she loved when you ate her out; she hated cumming first; and as slick as you were, literally and figuratively, you made sure she wasn’t able to touch you.

but you never noted anything subconsciously about not being able to touch yourself.

your poor baby was getting so pathetically vocal; it was starting to arouse you to the point where your pussy was painfully throbbing; so you did what any desperate woman would do, and reached back and began to work your fingers into your sopping cunt.

“ohhh s-shittt, i love when you moan in it cupcake, keep doin’ t-that.”

the relentless sounds of your and vi's heavy breathing and moaning made the space beneath the comforter feel like it was comparable to hell itself.

the smell of sex filled the room quicker than a freshly lit joint; and that says a lot about how busy you and vi were getting down. you wanted warmth for the winter, and boyyy did you get it.

it got so intense that the heat was making you nauseous in the head; dizzying, almost as if you had popped a damn 30.

(i cant help but make drug references what can i say i’m a weedhead lol.)

“i-i can’t much longer vi, i-i’m about to-.”

you were trembling in your legs, doing everything you could to hold back from finishing before her. but after all the time that passed since you last hooked up, it felt impossible to resist at that moment.

“it’s o-ok cupcake mmmh me too, cum with me?”

in that moment, both of you reached a simultaneous release, resulting in her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm, an arm draped across her forehead, while you fell beside her in exhaustion.

vi shook herself out of her long, totally inappropriate thoughts and tossed the comforter off both of you, flinging it as far as she could to the edge of the bed.

“feeling a little warmer now?” you poke, with your face planted in the sheets; sounding a little muffled.

“on fire cupcake, on fucking fire.” she said contently, wiping sweat beads off her cheeks; reaching over to wipe yours off your neck.

about thirty minutes later, you two were back snuggled between one another, watching “orange is the new black” comfortably until hearing a loud sound that resounded a switch being flipped from outside your apartment and a humming noise leading afterwards.

you both ended up ignoring the noise until you felt a change in temperature a few moments later; finally realizing what the noise from earlier was.

that noise was the fucking heating system up and running again.

[d-oie]

well since she blocked me after begging me for a reply i'll write my reply here, im sure her defenders will send her a ss of what i said. first the comment :3

no one is hating on you nor is anyone saying youre not creative, ive said multiple times that i use to defend you myself and that i love your moodboards.. the original ones that is. i think you're a very talented person liia, but that doesn't take away from the fact you stole/copied/were heavily inspired. this whole thing was blown way out of proportion, you pretend you did these things like finding the images online and somehow it looks the same as someone elses saying that its just inspo but that is NOT what inspo is, ive seen you tag creators like n-americano when you're inspired by them, but what about these? and what about the images you take from others moodboards and have "images edited by me" in your moodboards knowing some arent, if you can credit yourself you can credit others. my post wasn't to turn the whole world against you nor was it to make you seem like a bad person, if thats how people interpreted it then so be it, i have an actual life and don't care if a bunch of people attack me online when i can just power off my device. my main objective was to wake you up. to make YOU realize you're in the wrong, sure it was also to bring light to the situation and let the creators you copied see what you were doing which I dont think is wrong. this whole thing couldve been avoided if you were apologetic, if you just said "hey, i see how these moodboards look very similar along with some of my others, i apologize and this will never happen again." instead you and many others dragged it. i was genuinely willing to hear you out and talk to you in dms but since you blocked me i can't.

my response to your dm

you never clarified you didn't steal from others, those past accusations never came with evidence so you could have easily brushed it off, you saying that you were just inspired and that these images don't belong to anyone isn't what your situation is, inspiration doesn't compare to what you're doing, what youre doing is plain plagiarism. you want to sit here and tell me "i didnt mean to copy" when i can clearly see y-unjins moodboard in yours. i tried to give you my respect since i'm also a "content creator" but you keep giving the same excuse when you know youre in the wrong, then you assume i want to start drama like i live on it, sweetie no, not everything is to attack you, if someone believes you've done wrong and you're not taking accountability for your actions you will be called out. why should i turn a blind eye when i know the hard work someone went through in order to make their moodboard just for you to take the images? im not saying its illegal for people to use one or two of the same images from another moodboard but youre on a whole new level, you're mad i'm posting about this but imagine the creator's you've stolen from. the thing im mostly confused about is why, why would u steal from others creators when one, youve been called out for this before, and two, you're moodboards and dividers are beautiful, so you have no reason to steal from others when YOU yourself dont want people to steal from you and you have your own form of creativity. and again its you talking about how "if taking inspo is copying then everyone would be copying" ... like do you not understand the situation youre in? you know youre in the wrong and this trash ass excuse aint getting you nowhere.

im not even gonna go in on this, if you cant reply to your ask truthfully why would you reply to my dm truthfully? if you were mature enough to admit your wrongs instead of going on a whole rant about why your friends hate you then this post would have never existed. how hard is it to admit your wrongs and start anew? i get it, everyone makes mistakes, but everyone can always own up to and fix their own mistakes.

i guess im evil for bringing the truth to light, if this were to happen to me ID OWN UP TO MY MISTAKES. yes taking inspo isnt bad but if it gets to the point i get called out for copying when i personally believe i was just being inspired by others id apologize and see what i can do differently, since ya know, im at that point in life where i can admit my wrongs, you on the other hand did not do so and tried to pretend it wasnt an exact replica. my post wasnt to bring hate or spit on your name, if anyone sent you aggressive comments then you have the action to report or block them, i cant control what people say, damn i can rarely control what i say, and i dont know where youre getting the idea that i hate you when i never once said that and i actually said this not only once, not twice, not thrice, but multiple times that i use to respect you, you were one of many creators that i would defend with my life, you use to inspire me, now i feel nothing, just disappointment which is what a lot of people feel, that doesn't give you the right to guilt-trip your mutuals, like what your "defender" said, moots are like real friends, once you lose their trust its hard to gain it back, if you really cared you wouldn't have allowed this to get blow way out of proportion and would have just admitted your wrongs, hell when you dmed your entire following list you should have explained the situation to them rather than trying to make them feel bad for how THEY feel about the situation. then you have the audacity to say "dare to tell me to my face rather than being a coward" as if youre not one? you escalated the situation, youre the one who's been sitting on your ass feining for my reply, crying to your moots how they're bad friends for believing this even though theres full blown evidence. im not a coward, i had the balls to post this knowing you'd see it, you're acting as if i was leaving you in the dark, like i didnt think you would ever see this post, like i was plotting on your downfall behind a secret account. "think before acting" how about you follow your own advice before trying to give advice to others. thanks.

i didnt want this to go this far, i believed that once i posted this you would admit your mistakes and change for the better, i didnt unfollow you because i wanted to see you continue to grow and continue to be the amazing creator you are without the copying, but i guess that was just a fairytale and i have to face the reality of randos on the internet not being able to take accountability.

Hi guys, it's come to my attention that someone in the moodboard community known as lil-liaa has been copying / taking heavy "inspo" from other creators like @y-unjins and @iluvrei view more for more info + evidence + my opinions on the whole situation

before i start, i'm not trying to run lil-liaa off the platform nor am i trying to stur up drama, this is just to bring light to the situation as not many people know and many people (including myself) defended her when this first happened, i also want liia to realize that what she's doing isn't right and that she shouldn't just brush off "accusations" like these when there is evidence.

proofs

you can see the similarities as lil-liaa used 3 of the exact same pics as iluvrei's including one edited by the original creator without adding credits to the post.

2nd

here you can instantly tell that the moodboard was copied (lil-liaas on the right being an exact replica of y-unjins), only changing 2 pics excluding the idol change and

3rd / last

lastly, you can see how one lia used the exact same divider (+ didnt give creds), two she uses the same images not only in the moodboard but also in her gif (same pics from y-unjins moodboard including the png)

now, lil-liaa was sent multiple anonymous ask from last year and one recently accusing her of stealing moodboards, although a lot of people defended her last year including me due to the ask having no sorts of proof of moodboards being stolen and no one else speaking on it but now the recent ask she has received included proof and her response to it was very (in my opinion) rude and just sounded like she didn't care.

in my opinion, i don't believe this was just a draft she had premade and i don't believe she somehow got the same exact photos from y-unjins moodboard recommended, i believe since this isnt the first accusation and now there's proof of this i believe she has been copying moodboards since last year when she was accused. i don't believe lil-liaa cares about this, the fact she's stealing from other creators and when she gets called out for it she pushes it off with the same excuses

tags

@miujo @rkkuri @lvioung @ciestial @aeraras @sugarish @gyareii @i-kyujin @daddldee @i-mmaculatus @haerinism @chaeryeos @bloomqi @h-yeoni @p-oisn @bitchey @yeritos @yonkiibums @y-vna @y-urios @fairytopea @shuaver @yeoniis

[drdemonprince]

Regarding the online left and moral OCD, how is that not cancel culture? In all seriousness? I know it's a somewhat loaded term and used as a catch all for a lot of irrelevant shit, but isn't that exactly the same system of values that leads people to send hate mobs after each other in the name of "accountability"?

"cancel culture" refers, in a pretty flawed way IMO, to one tactic that people use, not to the wider cultural phenomenon being critiqued here.

like yes, people make public call outs, and they do that for a variety of reasons that cant all be summed up easily -- everything from bringing attention to an exploitative employer or abusive boss to attempting to get an incredibly vulnerable poor trans woman kicked out of housing.

I do not think it's helpful to equate all of those things.

I'm firmly of the position that public callouts rarely work or bring anything but terror to the accuser, so they're rarely worth doing, but there is a HUGE difference between a group of Black trans people making a post calling out the security of the local queer community center for being racist and, like, a mob of anonymous strangers deciding they all hate a mentally ill trans person because of one weird post they made and pressuring others to socially ostracize that person.

like. a callout/cancellation is just a tactic, it kinda sucks and doesnt work mostly, and it can and has also ruined people's lives.

but that's just one part of the larger issue we are talking about here.

we're not just talking about calling people out and cutting them off, we're also talking about performing immense guilt regarding any small human behavior or feeling that has not been morally optimized, splitting hairs over the ethicality of choices so granular as to be meaningless, correcting other people on minute language differences, imposing western/united states oppression frameworks onto completely different cultures and situations, interpreting all vague statements in the worst possible faith, holding a person responsible for any conceivable negative interpretation or unacknowledged caveat to anything they say, demanding the performance of negative emotions such as grief and exhaustion and rage, pathologizing positive emotions such as joy and pleasure, denying individuals any right set boundaries over how they spend their time, convincing people that any moment not spent consuming upsetting information is an abdication of duty, immense focus upon individual effort with little regard for collective power or systemic change, victim blaming, self obsession, self loathing, associating a person's appearance or mannerisms or sexual proclivities with their goodness as a person, a permanent suspicion of the "other," a lack of faith in humanity, and on and on.

so i think it's a lot more complicated and deep than just people making incendiary call out posts online. but then, i did write a book on all this.

[candy8448]

Do you have a recs for fics based on the Apprentice arc?

Ooohohoho yesss, you've come to the right person. I have quite a lot of fics to rec (ive been obsessively consuming and hyperfixating like mad on the apprentice arc in particular):

(Also i consider haunted to be part of the overall apprentice arc so there are a few fics based on and set after that episode)

First you can look at the tag "dick grayson as slade wilson's apprentice" on ao3 and there are hundreds of fics, with every dynamic and characters you could want, these are just my favorites ive read (put very very vaguely in an order going down from my most favorites):

Never Alone

My favorite, its a masterpiece, its amazing! After haunted robin continues to have hallucinations and its a finished longfic that gives a really good look into robin's mental illness and how he is still only a human. I made a whole post about this fic and how its perfect in every way, i have not binged a longfic this long in forever but i did this one in a single reading session because i was completely and utterly gripped

More coherent and detailed but completely spoiler free rambles about what makes this fic so good here i cannot stress enough how this is a must read if you like the arc. I like, really really want you to read this one

The voice and gears of sunset

Oneshot set right after robin is rescued from slade in the apprentice arc. It hits so hard and hurts. Robin's recovery and him trying to connect again with the titans after what he had gone through, the titans being there to help every step of the way. The ending melts my heart

Emotional motion sickness

Oneshot set many years later when the batfam is fully formed and robin is nightwing. A good fic with dick and damian's brotherly relationship and discovering new ways to cope. There is an encounter with slade and that scene fills me with so much undescribable emotion

The fight and the war

Oneshot with the batfam. After an encounter with slade, dick is interogated with his family about the way he responded to slade's commands in the battle and how it could have gotten him killed. Dick is forced to admit what happened back when he was with the titans in the apprentice arc. Very good protective batsiblings in a different way to the other fics

Bedeviled

Oneshot set right after haunted. The spores have a lingering effect and robin presses an emergency distress signal to batman who is there for him

To pick at a scab

Years later with the batfam dick comes to the batcave and his younger brothers have some questions about a sound recording from his time with slade. Dick is thrown into a vivid flashback and the batfam break him out of it and help him talk through it. Oneshot

Reforming Nightwing

Unfinished longfic. The titans never find iut about the nanobots and dick is forced to be slade's apprentice for 9 years. After Slade is killed and dick is able to excape, he goes to bludhaven where he picks up a new civillian name and the new identity nightwing. Meanwhile tim and steph want to figure out who this new "nightwing" and what his connection is to the villian "renegade"

Do you think batman will give me partial custody?

Oneshot. After the apprentice arc, robin returns to gotham. Unable to figure out how he feels about the situation he goes to his parents' graves where he encounters harely who helps him start a conversation with him about the abuse they both faced

The apprentice

Unfinished longfic where the titans dont discover the nanobots and robin has to continue being slade's apprentice. He spends his time figuring out how to get a message to the titans or to batman or to anyone without slade knowing

Just the same

Robin deals with stockholm syndrome and cant help but compare how similar slade is to batman and how in some aspects he is better. The titans are there to help him figure things out. Oneshot.

Next to my robin and some matchsticks

Oneshot set after apprentice part 2 where the titans patch up robin's wounds and talk about some scars he has, some from his time before the titans and some from slade

[rivalswrites]

Hello :3 How would Rivals characters react to their s/o being famous and appearing in ads and stuff (you choose which characters :3) I love your writing and cant wait for more😼

Them and you being famous!

Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

Tysmm! I don't think you guys get how much it means to me when you guys tell me you guys like my writing (I imagine it's the same with other writers?)

I'm feeling the burn out due to school being back in session, but we prevail!! Who's excited for season 1?

Masterlist

She loves it, and is absolutely your number one supporter! Definitely the type to never skip anything you're in online- even if it's an ad for something she's so not interested in. And she's one hundred percent got some sort of merchandise of you, like a cut out magazine that's hung up on her wall with little hearts around your face.

Ever the supporter, she loves coming on set and watching you work. Be it a photoshoot, ad, or film of some sort, she's always there to support and cheer you on (she has definitely got in trouble from the people in charge for being a little loud).

Definitely a bragger, telling anyone who'll listen (poor tippy-toe) about her amazingly beautiful partner that's world famous (in her heart). Can't help but gush over you, it's almost natural at this point to her. Anyone who knows her, knows you and has seen at least one film you're in.

When the day is over and you get home, she's ready to help you relax! She's got a nice warm bath already run, a warm towel ready when you're done, and warm cuddles and movies while you both eat whatever junk you want (to hell with your manager and supposedly “needed” diet).

Overall: She is so supportive, and no matter what it is will be there to cheer you on and help wherever she can!

Fame isn't something huge to him- rather it's not something he pays much attention to. Status doesn't do much for his opinions to people, but that doesn't mean he won't look at your career.

He definitely has a magazine or poster of you in his main office somewhere, even if it seems a little inappropriate for a king to seem like such a fanboy. His sister will not let this go, and most certainly teases him about it.

Even though he's a busy man, he always makes time for you. He'll go to red carpets with you if that's something you do, he'll sit down and watch movies you star in during his free time. He'll even go out of his way to watch a dumb laundry ad you make a two second appearance in, because he loves you so.

While he works hard, he knows you work just as hard as he does- and he respects that. At the end of the day, the two of you will sit and relax with a nice dinner, cuddling up after in silence. He'll probably be reading a book while you do whatever you want- as long as you stay by his side until bedtime. Sometimes he'll stray from the pages and to your face and he'll think to himself- yeah, they're gorgeous, the world was right to make you famous.

Overall: He'll support your career from the sidelines, as much as he can. He loves you, and while he's busy, he makes time to see you bloom like a beautiful flower.

||•STRICTLY PLATONIC•||

She's totally freaking out when she finds out!! Like oh my gosh, her best friend/found family is famous? She knew she recognized you from somewhere, it was totally from that one movie you did! It's one of her favorites, you know.

All the time she'll ask you what it's like being famous like that, like yeah she is too but not like you are! Always asking questions about how the filming process of movies and even ads go.

Absolutely overjoyed when you invite her to join you on a photoshoot set, like omg yes she wants to see you strike some poses! She'll even try and copy you behind all the cameras and crew men, the smile on your face in those photos are definitely real. One time you asked her to join her for a photo and she basically popped like a balloon, she was so honored. (And yes, she reacted the same way when she saw those pictures were actually used in a promotion or magazine.)

Overall: She is so so supportive!! You're someone she looks up to and definitely has merchandise of you and posters up in her room.

He's used to it- fame. He's famous himself, why should he care if you are too? The mentality definitely isn't the best, but give him time- relationships are difficult for him. He'll get there eventually.

Has, and will always, go to red carpets with you- whether he got the invitation or you. And he only makes sure you two are in the best clothes money can buy (and he's got plenty to spare). The two of you are always the best dressed and most elegant people at the function.

All of your films or shows are on his watch list, and he watches them while he works. He's got an AI system that keeps track of any news about you (films, photoshoots, etc.) and notifies him about anything new. He's obsessed with you!

He definitely points you out in any type of media no matter where you are, and probably sends you a picture of it. Everyone around him is so tired of him pointing at a screen and yelling about his partner.

Will absolutely pay paparazzi to take pictures of you so he can keep them for himself - is that weird? Yes, but you probably do the same…

Overall: Loves your career and always keeps track of everything you do. Always supportive about whatever it is you do. Definitely the Internets otp.

Oh my god, yes! She gets you, and you get her!! The two of you definitely have each other's merch and often wear shirts with each other's face on it (paparazzi can't get enough of that).

Collaborations are always on the table, no matter what it may be. Photoshoots? Tell her what the theme is! Movie? She'd love a cameo! Want to do a collab song with her? It'll be the most cheesy romance song ever!

Your managers are so goddamn tired of you two asking for some sort of collaboration that they don't even check anymore- do whatever you want.

The Internet loves the two of you! Fan edits of you guys are insanely popular, especially when you guys do interviews together. Fan art and shitty fanfiction is extremely popular too, and it's adorable.

After long hours at work, the two of you sit on the couch in the most comfortable jammies you have and eat anything you want! Watching some god forsaken show with a horrible love triangle plot.

Overall: It's great, having someone by her side who knows how she feels about being famous. She loves hanging out with you, be it for work or at home.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way

"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"

"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"

"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring

[hanta-seros-wifey]

ruined myself because of you (k. bakugo x f!reader??? ends up as s. todoroki x f!reader)

synopsis: bakugo & reader are super close and flirty. bakugo’s girl gets the boy first, and youre left to swallow yourself whole, diving into unhealthy habits for a hero in training. kirishima, sero, todoroki, and yayorozu help you get bakugo off your mind. jiro, kaminari, and ashido tell bakugo, but you’ve already gotten over it.

WARNINGS: mentions of mental health, eating disorders, & slacking off in hero training

1 MONTH INTO UA SECOND YEAR: MAY

you pat bakugo softly to get his attention. he turns around and gives you his undivided attention as you rambled on about something before aizawa came in for homeroom.

“training later?” you asked him and he nods agreeing. mr. aizawa walked in, tired as always. he lets iida and momo take over as he knocks out in the corner of the classroom for the next hour.

classes went by as usual and you happily skipped next to bakugo on the way back to the dorms. “quit skipping” he mumbles out a small smile poking out on his lips as he watches you. it amuses him.

you quickly grabbed your training bag and met up with bakugo in the common room. you walked to the gym together and sparred for a good couple of hours.

bakugo winning obviously and gave you tips on what to do next time. you both walked back to the dorms, sweaty and tired. you said goodnight and went up to your dorm to shower.

kats 🧡

you did good today dumbass, same time tomorrow?

you replied back with a yes and he reacts with a thumbs up and sends a goodnight message. you clutched your phone to your chest and giggled softly.

2 WEEKS LATER

“bakugo can we watch a movie?” you asked him on your way back to the dorms from training. “sure” he mumbles out shifting both gym bags that are over his shoulders.

“what do you carry in here princess?” he huffs out dramatically. you giggle walking ahead of him slightly. his lips turn upwards at the sound of your small laugh.

“lots of clothes, other stuff” you shrugged your shoulders smiling up at him. “what movie we watching sweets?” he asks and you walk backwards looking at him.

“how do we feel about tangled?” you smiled and he only looks at you. “sure” he says and you smiled wide nodding your head in excitement.

“yay” you giggled and he smiles fully now. “you are something else huh?” he stops walking and drops both of your bags on the floor.

“what do ya mean by that kats?” you said and he tackles you in a hug. his hands find your waist, gripping you tightly and you let out a shriek, you arms immediately going around his neck.

“aww so katsuki bakugo can be affectionate” you teased running your hands through his hair. “shut up” he says burrying his head in your neck.

3 DAYS LATER

“hey sweets?” bakugo calls out for you as you lay on his bed, while he finishes up english homework at his desk. “hm” you hum sitting up to give him attention.

“would it be a bad idea to train with our classmates?” he asks putting his pencil down and turning to look at you. “not at all” you said and you tilt your head to the side.

“its just-“ he starts but cuts himself off. “just everything after the war. i died like i cant believe i died. i was dead for i dont know how long. i realize i cant be putting off my other classmates, they earned their spot here too” he says and you smile.

“thats great kats, its a good idea. talk to them about it” you encouraged and he nodded and thanked you. “seeing you die in front of me” you started and looked at him.

“it broke me, and im so glad they saved your life on the battlefield” you said getting up and walking towards him.

“i heard pink cheeks was on the brink of death. wonder what it felt like for her” he said shaking his head. “i heard her quirk expanded” you said and he nods his head.

“heard it from jiro” he says and you remember jiro was in the gunga village. “enough of that just wanted to know if it was a good idea or not” he says and you threw yourself on his bed again.

he puts his pencil down again and gets up. he stretches and looks at you. “dont think about it katsuki bakugo” you warned and he smirked and threw himself on top of you, laughing.

1 MONTH LATER: JUNE

it first started off with bakugo standing you up during training. you sat on the gym floor stretching, waiting for bakugo. 10 minutes had passed and nothing. you texted him and no response.

you sighed and laid on the floor. your phone dinged and you looked at it.

kats 🧡

shit sorry, something came up. rain check?

you

sure, its fine!

left on read. if only you knew that was the beginning of it all. on multiple occasions he would leave you there like an idiot and it wasnt until kaminari came in one day and told you where he was.

“he’s with ochacko” he said stretching as he came in to train with you. he felt bad that this was happening and decided to fill in bakugo’s spot.

“why’s that?” you asked him and he shrugged. “they seem to be getting close” he says standing up and pulling you up with him.

you trained with kaminari for three hours before calling it a day. you texted bakugo and he left them all on read. you decided to leave him alone, but your chest ached. “he’ll come around” kami reassured, patting you on the back.

a week later and this behavior was still ongoing. you now started walking to class alone. you sighed as you walked down the stairs and out of the common room. you walked into the classroom, greeted your classmates and sat in your seat.

you slouched down as you groaned and leaned your head down on the table. “oi” you hear and you lift your head up. you look at bakugo as he sighs. “‘m sorry for standin you up” is all he says. “been training with pink cheeks ‘s nothing personal” he says to you.

“you didnt have to distance yourself” you mumbled out and he rubs a hand over his face. “training tomorrow?” he asks you and you look at him. “promise not to stand me up?” you said softly and he nods. “even buy you food” he mutters out and you nod.

“deal” you said and mr. aizawa came in and told you guys to get your hero costumes and meet outside for training. you grabbed your case and walked to the locker room. as you and the girls change you notice a chain that ochako seems to have somewhere on her hero costume.

its small, you’d almost missed it altogether. you brushed it off and closed your locker and walked out with momo, jiro, and mina. mr. aizawa paired you up to spar with others. he paired you up ochako, great.

you watched your classmates spar with each other and before you knew it, you and ochako were up. you knew you were going to be bad today, you hadn’t trained properly in weeks.

you stood across from her as you looked at yoir friends. they sent encouraging signals and you smiled weakly at them. mr. aizawa could sense something was wrong and before blowing his whistle he pulled you aside.

“are you okay?” he asked you as he glanced over yoir figure, cautiously in worry. “‘m fine mr. aizawa” you said rubbing your eyes. he only sighs and signals for you to get ready. he blew the whistle and you immediately activated your quirk.

telekinesis came in handy when you were in focus. she lunged at you and you lost focus and she pulled her “gunhead martial arts” move on you, pinning you to the ground. she was declared the winner and you lay there on the floor, frustrated and embarrassed.

you winced slightly as you held your side as you sit up. “im sorry did i go to hard?” she asks sweetly and you only lift your hand up to signal her to be quiet. “‘m fine” you said wincing slightly as you got up from the floor.

sero came over to help you after seeing that bakugo wasnt going to do it. “you okay?” he asks as he places a hand over yours, where your holding your side. its then he feels it. worry flashes over his face, but he quickly covers it up.

mr. aizawa catches on and instructs you to sit down on the floor again. “on a scale of 1-10 how bad is the pain?” he asks touching around the area and watches as you wince in pain. “9” you manage out and he feels a certain spot, confirming his suspicions.

“okay iida, yayorozu i need you guys to stay here while i take y/n to recovery girl” he announced and they immediately stepped up to their duties as class president and representative.

todoroki looks at you worried. mr. aizawa leaves with you in his arms as ochako stands there, distraught. “did i just?” she trails off as tears welled up in her eyes.

izuku takes a step forward, cautiously. “hey its not your fault” he reassures her and she nods her head. she looks at bakugo and her body moves towards him. he extends his arms out to her and pulls her into a hug.

the whole class is shocked, but doesnt say anything until all might arrives to continue the class as intended.

2 MONTHS LATER: MID AUGUST

“hi kats” you smiled up at him as you both walked to the elevator of the dorms together. he grumbles a hi out as he hits the buttom to the main floor. it was dinnertime and ochako cooked dinner today.

“what do you think is on the menu tonight?” you asked him and he only shrugs. you left it at that and the elevator dinged, the doors opening. you were immediately met with the smell of food and the chatter of your classmates.

class 2A seems to be lively tonight as you and bakugo went separate ways. you met up with sero, kaminari, and jiro. “and bakugo?” sero asks you and you point to him.

“he’s acting a bit weird no?” he asks you and you shrug. you watch him grab himself a plate and dismiss himself off to his room, thanking ochako for the meal.

thanking ochako? you thought to yourself. “okay that was weird” kaminari commented and you nodded your head. “lets drop it yeah?” you told them and moved to sit on the couch, suddenly not hungry anymore.

sero, jiro, and kaminari see and exchange glances between each other. they’ve noticed bakugo’s behavior towards you recently. standing you up for training (sero, kaminari, and even todoroki always stepped in to make you happy), ignoring your messages, stopped walking to class together; everything.

everyone eats happily as you sit on the couch, feet tucked in and you’re on your phone. midoriya sees you and he calmly joins you. “hey! theres some leftover if you want some!” he says giving you a soft smile.

“thanks midoriya but i think i’ll skip out on dinner tonight” you said standing up, your classmates watching. they’ve noticed everything. you all live together, they pick up on things around here.

“come on a small plate” sato says and extends his hand for you to join him in the kitchen. you sigh softly and take his hand and he leads you to the kitchen. its kind of known that you have feelings for bakugo.

“hey everything will work out okay?” sato says placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, comforting you. you nodded your head and thanked him. you bid a goodnight as you quickly made your way up the stairs and to your dorm.

on the fourth floor, you dumped the plate of food into the trashcan at the end of the hall and walked the remaining flight of stairs up to your room. bakugo was on his way out and saw you dump the food out.

3 days later, theres a knock on your door at 9 pm. you move to unlock ot and you see bakugo standing there, bags in hand. “can i help you?” you asked softly rubbing your arm in order to soothe yourself.

“hungry?” he asks holding the bags up and you eye them. “not really” you said shaking your head and he sighs. “can i come in then?” he asks you and you hesitantly nod your head.

“look im sorry” he starts off as he places the food on your desk. he looks around your room and then at you. you look tired, exhausted, thinner. “i’ve been a shitty friend i know” he says and pulls your desk chair directly across from you where you sit on your bed.

“i just thought training with our other classmates would be a good idea, you know this” he shares and you smile at that. “well im glad youre getting along with the others” you stifle a laugh and his lips turn upward, amused.

“you seem to be getting close to others though” you commented quietly and he sighs. “pink cheeks is just a friend” he says and you look at him. “dont lie to me” you stated and he nods his head. “i know” he sighs again.

“you can tell me if somethings going on between you two, who am i to be mad at? im your best friend i’ll be happy for you” you said trying to smile. he thinks your words over and shifts his body more towards you. "well actually there is" he started and you listened intently.

"it really did start off as training, but the more i trained with her, the more i realized i began to have feelings for her" he says and you nod indicating you are following along.

"so i asked her out on a date, and so far we have gone on 3 of them" he smiles and you forced one too to seem happy for him. “im making it official on our next one” he says calmly and you smile.

“way to go!” you pushed his shoulder lightly and he looks down, smiling. “your rib okay?” he asks nodding towards your rib where ochako broke it on accident. “mhm” you nodded.

“you and tape face seem to be getting close” he teases and you roll your eyes. “nah sero’s not who i have feelings for” you shook your head and he looks at you. “then who?” he pushes and you shake your head.

“dont tell me its icy hot” he teases and you nod to go along. “yea its icy hot happy?” you smile as you lie to him. “well he’d be stupid not to go for someone like you” he says standing up. “‘m leaving that here. eat up will ya? im worried” he says pointing towards the food.

“yea yea” you wave him off and he leaves. you sigh, locking you dorm door. you throw yourself on your bed and stare at the ceiling. you see why ochako. you turn on your side and eye the picture of you and bakugo you have on your desk.

you cry yourself to sleep that night.

1 WEEK LATER

you were studying with your classmates in the common room. ochako and bakugo just got back from somewhere (a date most likely) and they seemed giddy. they joined you all in studying. you sat with todoroki as you worked on math with him.

a message came in from bakugo and you glanced at it.

kats 🧡

ochako and i are official

you froze seeing it. todoroki picked up on your tense stature. “is everything alright?” he asks putting his pencil down. “mhm” you manage to let out, tears threatening to spill. you turned your phone upside down and looked at shoto.

“‘m okay sho” you tried smiling, but he could sense something was wrong. “im worried about you” he voices his concerns. “im alright” you said getting up and grabbing your materials.

“where are you going?” kaminari said as he looked up from his art history textbook. sero chimes in, “yea dude were all having a good time here, whats up?” he asks concerned. all of your classmates are now looking at you, encouraging you to stay.

“im okay guys really” you said smiling at them. “were all worried about you” ochako spoke up and everyone stopped talking and looked at your reaction. she got up and walked towards you, extending her hands out.

“you’ve been off since that day i accidentally broke your rib. i’ve been worried about you. you look tired, exhausted even, you’ve been slacking in hero training, and you look thinner. please let me lend a hand” she says and you eye her hands.

you know its not her fault. this will never be her fault. you look down hiding your eyes. “im okay really” your voice cracks and she stares at you. you gently take one of her hands. you let her pull you into a hug and your classmates exchange knowing glances.

bakugo finds it amazing. his girlfriend and best friend getting along. he smiles at the scene infront of him. sero and kaminari look at him and roll their eyes at their idiot of a friend.

“im tired” you said quietly and bid a goodnight to everyone. you slowly walked towards the stairs and you tripped over your own feet, landing harshly on the first stair.

todoroki is quick to help and helps you to your room. “are you sure youre okay?” he asks you and you nod your head yes. “just tired shoto, i promise” you said and with that he leaves, making sure to turn off the lights and close the door.

you cry yourself to sleep again that night.

2 MONTHS LATER: OCTOBER

about 2 months after bakugo told you he and ochako were official, it only went downhill from there. you completely distanced yourself from bakugo, even requested mr. aizawa to switch you seats with midoriya.

you sit in seat number 9 now, infront of sato,behind kirishima and next to tokoyami and iida. you went on about your usual days, you went to class, trained, hung out with your friends, repeat.

aizawa let the cases come out of the wall as he said you all have joint training with class 2B. you picked up number 18, as they havent switched yours and midoriya’s hero costumes yet.

you made your way to the locker rooms, class B in tow. you all made small talk together on your way there, separating to get changed. you talked with setsuna and jiro as you changed into your hero costume.

it’s evidently baggy on you, but you shrug off the looks sent your way as you tie up your heeled boots and walk out of the locker room. jiro and setsuna followed after you, still keeping conversation.

“hey guys!” setsuna says as she waves at some of her classmates. you smile at them and wave to them as well. you walk towards bondo, tetsutetsu, honenuki, and awase.

“hey everything okay? your costum-“ bondo says and is cut off by honenuki slapping his head. “sorry about that” he says sheepishly and you only nod your head. “here” he mutters and pulls out two hair ties. “tie it to cling to your body better” he says shyly, extending his hand out to you.

“thank you” you said taking them from him. he helepd you and you thanked him. “y/n” mr. aizawa called out and you walked over to him. the classes awaited for further instructions as they looked at the both of you.

“you sure you want to do this today? you can always sit out if you want” he says cautiously. “i can train today dont worry mr. aizawa, i appreciate it” you smiled at him and he looked at class B’s homeroom teacher, vlad king.

“are you sure?” he pushes and you nod your head frustrated. “im fine mr. aizawa!” you snapped and immediately shut your mouth again. “im sorry” you whispered as you looked up at your teacher.

class A and B exchange glances as they look at the interaction between the 3 of you. kirishima covered his mouth in shock as your classmates look at you.

“she’s gone nuts” mineta says and tsu shuts him up with her tongue. mr. aizawa sighs and waves his hand to dismiss the behavior and tells you to stand with your classmates.

you stood, sandwich between shoto and kirishima. a hand wraps around your waist in a comforting manner. you look down to see todoroki did that. he doesnt look down at you, but theres a hint of a smile on his face.

“we’ll have y/n form her own team” mr. aizawa said as he turned to look at you. “remember 5 only, we want you to be comfortable” he says nodding his head and you stepped forward.

“shoto” you mumbled and he was immediately by your side. you looked over your classmates and had a hard time choosing. “toshi” you waved shinso over and he stood on your right. “yaomomo” you smiled up at her and she stood next to shinso.

“one more” mr. aizawa said and you looked over once again. your eyes landed on bakugo and for a second he thought you were going to choose him. he was the one you did most of your previous training with.

your eyes moved next to him and called out to the yellow-blonde boy. “denks” you nodded firmly and he joined your group high fiving you. “what a gnarly team” kirishima said clapping and you smiled.

“dang they got fire and ice, creation, brainwashing, electrification, and telekinesis. we’re screwed” sero whined putting his head in his hands. “shut it tape face” bakugo grumbled, bothered.

ochako looked up at him and placed a gentle hand on his forearm. he relaxed at her touch and his frown went away. the two classes were assorted into their teams and soon it was time to start drawing who’d go against who.

team l/n was up for round 3 against team monoma, who had juzo honenuki, setsuna tokage, yosetsu awase, and sen kaibara. you watched the first two rounds go by with team uraraka vs team kendo in the first round and team ashido vs team tetsutetsu in the second round.

team uraraka consisted of midoriya, sato, tsuyu, and hagakure. it was honestly a pretty great team. bakugo watched you from afar as you conversed with your team.

“good luck out there” honenuki says as he passes by you. he holds his helmet in his hands and you can see his face. “thanks juzo you too” you smiled at him and his cheeks turn slightly pink.

he nods his head and walks off, happily. “oh he definitely wants you” denki teased and yaomomo gave you a smile. “wait really?” you frowned as you looked at honenuki. “duh” shinso said and you looked up at them confused.

“dudes been dropping hints since our first year, after the sports festival” denki said and you start clicking the pieces together. you looked at todoroki as he looks at the ground, avoiding your eyes.

“well im not interested in him” you mumbled and frowned. “he’s really nice but i dont have feelings for him that way” and they all looked at you.

“its bakugo huh?” shinso spoke up and you all exchanged glances. “you know he’s an asshole for what he did” he started and you looked up at your purple haired friend.

“how so?” you asked and he looks down at you, meeting your eyes. “you guys flirted, very obvious. then he suddenly picks up interest in uraraka? he was too pussy to say he had feelings for you, wanted you to do all the work. uraraka made the first move did you know?” he said and you looked at them.

bakugo and ochako attached at the hip. it makes sense. “i dont care anymore” you shook your head looking down. “okay you know you care, honey” shinso said tilting his head to the side.

you stared back into his violet eyes. “drop it toshi” you said firmly and he raised his hands up defensively. “just saying” he muttered and looked to the side.

“round 2 is now over! team tetsutetsu wins!” present mic said and you looked at your group. “ready?” you asked them as they got up from their sitting positions.

“i got you okay?” shoto said as he got closer to you and put one hand carefully on your waist. you smiled up at him and nodded. “thank you sho” and he smiled down at you. he kept his hand on your waist as you walked by both classes.

“good luck” monoma taunts and you stick your tongue out at him. you knew he was joking around, he still likes teasing you guys. bakugo watches iida’s hand on your back.

“icy hot is so into her” he mumbles to kirishima and sero with a smile. kirishima and sero look at him with a deadpanned look. “what? she told me she’s into him” he defends and the boys look at each other.

“roki’s got her” sero says and scoffs while turning away. “hey jiro ashido” kirishima spots his friends and the boys walk towards them, and away from bakugo.

the round started and you stuck by todoroki the whole time, not wanting to get separated. you were doing great with your team, amazing. denki managed to take down awase and lock him in the designated prison.

you were struggling with setsuna as kaibara was protecting her the best way possible. not to mention her quirk is amazing. monoma was copying quirks left and right and with denki’s quirk, he was able to take down yamomo.

shinso, using his persona cords, brainwashed kaibara and he stopped, frozen in place. “hey kaibara i didnt say anything!” setsuna yelled out spotting shinso on a near by building.

you stayed afloat, avoiding the ground as honenuki was softening it.

you had 10 minutes on the clock and right now both teams were tied. monoma managed to copy your quirk earlier and flew up to you.

“hi y/n” he waved at you with a smirk on his face. “class A has been having some troubles” he starts and you look at him confused. “were just fine” you shook your head and he laughs. “bakugo and uraraka” he says and your eyes widened.

you are so glad you arent mic’d up for this. as your classmates fight below you, you’re here floating in the air having a conversation with monoma.

“he’s an asshole” he says and you only stare at him. you lunged at him ready to take him down and he reaches out placing his hands on your shoulders.

“im not one made for close combat” he says as he sends you tumbling down a set of pipes. “you asshole!” you yelled out as your back hit multiple pipes on the way down.

you landed on the soft floor, thanks to honenuki. he softened the ground for you as you laid there, unconscious. mr. aizawa immediately called off the round and everyone deactivated their quirks.

“y/n!” shoto ran towards you as your friends surrounded you. “its a draw!” present mic said as your classmates look at the screen in worry. sero, kirishima, jiro, and mina move towards the screen.

“monoma cheated!” sero yelled out as all might shook his head. “they werent that far off the ground, she’s fine” he said gently as they wheeled you out with recovery girl in tow.

they wheel you off as she pulls all might, mr. aizawa, and vlad king off to the side. “the girl is extremely thin. the fall made her ribs crack. i can heal her just fine” she says with worry.

she looks at aizawa who has a guilty look on his face. “you shouldn’t have let her participate. talk to your students. find out whats going on with this poor girl” she says shaking her head and walking off to heal you.

bakugo watches the interaction and looks at the floor. he needs to figure out whats happened to you.

that same night, mr. aizawa called for a meeting in the common room. you sat with todoroki as you played with his fingers. he looks down at your hands and smiles at your touch.

once all 20 of you are there he starts. “i need everyone to tell me whats going on” he says immediately cutting to the chase. “she may not want to fess up and tell me, but as her friends if you know and want to help her out, please do tell whats going on” he continues as he gestures towards you.

the class stays quiet, all giving glances to each other. “i know you know” mr. aizawa says towards sero, kirishima, mina, jiro, and kaminari. “its truly not our business to tell sir” jiro said quietly and you look at mr. aizawa’s expression.

you come up with a lie. “i wanted to lose weight cause i felt too beefy for a girl” you said quietly, still playing with todoroki’s fingers. “i thought if i was thinner… i dont know, im sorry” you said tears welling up in your eyes.

mr. aizawa knew there was more to it, but he wasnt going to press it. everyone else knew the real truth, apart from uraraka and bakugo.

“everyone off to their dorms” he says and everyone gets up. you stayed seated on the floor as mr. aizawa signaled for your friends to stay, even bakugo.

once the common room was cleared you sat there, head down. “y/n i need the truth so we can help you” mr. aizawa started crouching down to meet your eyes.

you looked back at your friends and sighed. “sero” you motioned for him to come to you. he crouches down and you lean in to whisper into his ear, cupping it so no one could read your lips.

sero nods and you give him a nod and look at your teacher. sero stands to his full height and gently pulls mr. aizawa off to the side. “seriously whats going on?” you hear bakugo tell you and you simply ignore him.

mr. aizawa dismissed you all and you followed sero and todoroki back up to the fifth floor.

1 MONTH LATER: NOVEMBER

“oi dumbasses!” mina, jiro, and kaminari heard as they turned around to see bakugo was heading towards them, his phone in his hand.

“where’s y/n? cant get ahold of her” he says waving his phone in the air at them. “she’s probably with todoroki at therapy with present mic were not sure” mina answered and he nods.

“am i blocked or something i tried contacting her through instagram too cant see her profile” he says unlocking his phone and going to her profile only for the “user not found!” to pop up.

“let me see” jiro says taking her phone out and finding your profile with ease. “seems like she did. i dont blame her honestly” she shrugged putting her phone away and linking her arm with denki’s.

“huh?” he says and looks at the three of them. “you see the state she’s in bakubro?” denki started off sarcastically. “its because of you” he continued and bakugo’s face contorted into one of confusion.

“i dont get it. you guys flirted, acted like something was there, dude she watched you die!” denki yelled, now getting angry. everyone in the common room looking at the interaction.

uraraka listened intently. “and now that you went off training with uraraka all of a sudden theres feelings?” denki kept going, mad. “was it cause uraraka made the first move? y/n was waiting for months on you to make a move, it absolutely broke her to see you distance yourself from her, someone she loves!” jiro rubbed his arm to soothe denki.

“you cant be more stupid man, she loves you” denki said more calmly now. the common room goes quiet and bakugo stands there dumbfounded. he drops his phone and looks at the three of them in confusion.

“i made her like that?” he mutters out as he glances towards the floor, tears stinging his eyes. uraraka looks from afar as she stands with tsu, iida, and midoriya.

“i never meant to hurt her” he says shaking now. “fuck” he mutters out, his hands flying to his hair as everyone looks at him, concerned etched onto their features.

the sound of giggling can be heard, your giggling as you and todoroki walk back in, hand in hand. your laughter dies down as soon as you enter the tense atmosphere.

“whats wrong?” you ask out with a small smile as you look at everyone. your eyes land on bakugo and your face contorts into one of concern.

“they told bakugo” sero says and you look at jiro, mina, and kaminari. you glance at uraraka as tsu wraps an arm around her shoulder.

you look up at todoroki and give him a small smile. you squeeze his hand and he squeezes it back in understanding. you slowly move towards bakugo and gently take his hands away from his hair.

“lets talk yeah?” you ask him trying to meet his eyes. he realizes its you and his breaths start to slow down and he pulls you into a hug.

“i never meant to hurt you” he mumbles into your neck as you stroke his hair. “i know kats” you said choking on a sob. you pull away and keep him at arms length.

“but see im okay now” you smiled up at him and wipe his tears. “i learned to accept it and im happy for you truly” you started and he nods his head.

“im okay, look im doing good” you said indicating your figure and how’ve you brought up your weight by a little bit. “and look, me and todoroki have finally decided to take the next step” you said turning to look at shoto and he smiles at you.

“everything is okay, i promise” you said sincerely and he finally calms down. “im blocked” he says and glances down at his phone. “kats i blocked you a long time ago, i’ll go ahead and undo it” you said slowly releasing him from your grip.

“youre the first boy i’ve ever grown to love, but i moved on. my feelings for shoto are so real, like yours for ochako” you said and he nods his head. “love that girl” he says sniffling and looking down at the floor to hide his small smile.

“best friends?” he said holding his pinky out. “best friends” you said and completed his pinky promise. you hugged it out and laughed. “were dumb arent we?” you giggled as you pulled away.

“so dumb” he confirms and laughs with you. “yay they made up!” kirishima says throwing his hands in the air as everyone erupts into laughter. “class 2A group hug!” kirishima yells out and they all tackle you and bakugo.

5 MONTHS LATER: APRIL

the start of your third year at UA high school has officially begun. one more year until youre a pro hero. how exciting.

you laugh at something tetsutetsu says as todoroki sits next to you, hand on your thigh. you’ve slowly gotten better as the days went on. you and todoroki have officially begun dating.

“okay now thats stupid!” bakugo shot up at something monoma did and ochako laughed lightly pulling him down. “get used to it explosion boy” honenuki teased and you all laughed.

you were playing an american game pony introduced you guys to, uno. bakugo was losing terribly, always drawing cards. you giggled as you leaned into shoto, his free arm going around your waist.

you hide your cards from him and turn to look at him. “dont look at my cards sho” you giggled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “just holding you close” he muffles and you smile.

“shoto your turn” tetsutetsu says looking at him. the pile had a red 5. shoto looked at his cards and plopped down a blue 5. you put a blue 6 and sero put down a blue 8.

monoma snickered and glanced to his left to look at bakugo. monoma places a +4 wild card and bakugo throws his pile of cards claiming he doesnt want to play anymore.

you all laughed and threw your cards down, calling it the end of the game. honenuki put them away and you all sat around class b’s common room. you and shoto sat on the floor as you all laughed and talked together.

“you know this is nice” ochako said leaning into bakugo. “being able to talk to each other, no class rivalries” she said glancing at monoma for a split second.

you laughed and nodded fist bumping her. “lets talk agencies” kirishima said eagerly as he held mina close to him. “denki and i’s agencies are going to be right next to each other one day” jiro said looking at denki, lovingly.

“kirishima and i are doing it together” bakugo said looking at kirishima. “then that means ochako and i open ours together” mina winked at her and she winked back.

“count me in on that too yea?” you said and the girls nodded their heads excitedly. “sho how bout you?” you turn to look at him and he looks at you. “i want the name to commemorate my family in a way. for touya” he starts and you all look at him.

“dad passed his agency onto me after he retired and im switching the name” he concludes as he looks at his friends. “way to go sho” you muttered to him with a smile and he smiles back at you.

you kiss his cheek and he blushes instantly. you and bakugo looked at each other as he sat across from you. he nods his head at you with a smile and you do the same.

best friends forever was the deal. best friends forever.

[that-one-loz-nerd]

Not being good at art is the most frustrating thing in the world

[hinamie]

10 years later

[milkbreadtoast]

idk how i want to draw him yet and not ready to make a srs attempt but here's a bad kdj phone doodle lol🚶🏻

[youngpettyqueen]

grabbing people and going look at me. listen to me. its not "omg the Doctor is finally gay now!!" the Doctor has been queer this entire goddamn time. 9 kissed Jack on the lips in 2005. 10, 11, and 12 openly discussed being attracted to men. 11 ALSO kissed men on the lips. 13 was in love with Yasmin Khan, and openly expressed attraction to women. 14 openly expressed being attracted to a man. these are just off the top of my head I may be missing things

the point is that 15 is not the first Doctor to be openly queer and he is not the first Doctor to become romantically involved with someone of the same sex. stop believing the headlines from Disney that this is the first time the Doctor has been queer onscreen. we are NOT letting them take credit they dont deserve

[dykedvonte]

I genuinely don't think Curly would be as caring for Jimmy as some people depict him in aus where Jimmy gets stuck and burned rather than Curly.

I feel like the realization would truly hit in that moment of what Jimmy did and how bad it was as Curly desperately tries to get him out of the cockpit. He's trying to break in to save Jimmy, but is he? All the thoughts in his head; Jimmy's trying to kill them all, Jimmy's trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy raped Anya, Jimmy's going to die trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy trying to kill them all because of what he did to Anya, and sort of a final Jimmy did this. Is he trying to save him or trying to figure out why? Trying to finally make him take accountability? You can't hold trial for a dead man. Does he want Jimmy to die? Not really, but it'd be easier than figuring out where they go after this. After they drag him out and get his set up in medical and Jimmy refuses to look at anyone but him.

He's the only one who is truly willing to care for Jimmy. I don't think he's keeping him alive for the same reasons, just he can't bring himself to put him down. He wants answers, he wants to be mad. This is the first time he can talk to Jimmy and not have anything spun back at him but he can't get a response. He's never really been able to but for the first time Jimmy actually has to listen and he'll never know if he's actually listening to him this time. It reminds him too much of not understanding Anya. Anya has to care for him and he doesn't want her too, she shouldn't have to but they can't just let him die, can they? Should they? It's easier than hearing him in pain but that's a reminder he did this... even if Curly allowed it to happen.

No one seems to have thoughts on it but him and Anya. They know the reason he crashed the ship but they don't get the logic. Anya does actually, but Curly has to admit he does to. Has to admit he's always known Jimmy's logic behind things, things that need to be "fixed" but he's always taken responsibility and fixed it himself. The first time he really let Jimmy take responsibility and he couldn't, he can't fix anything and Curly know he can't either. He looks at Jimmy and sees every mistake but now he's wondering how many of Jimmy's he's been tacking on to his own. How different are they?

What should he had done to stop it? Maybe this should've happened to him...

Curly doesn't like those thoughts and how they only come when he's stuck with Jimmy, like he's always done to himself. He's way too gentle when he gives Jimmy his pills, too mindful of teeth that always gave him hollow smiles. A tongue that always told half truths, while he held his own. He holds his jaw too kindly and thinks about all the times he's clenched his and smiled for his friends sake. For Jimmy's sake. Jimmy still swallows the pills and struggles, whines like it's not his fault.

He hoped it hurt.

And he's a little scared that he's a little too okay thinking that.

[skitskatdacat63]

"We need to find more performance, I think we've underdelivered in the last three events."

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

heeyyy gaaanggg

the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.