#i know how to do it but at the same time i cant

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Stuck Here Like Me

Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x F!Doctor!Reader

Summary: in the wake of the chaos, you’re there to pick up his broken pieces. Takes place during 1x13 so spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet

Warnings: depiction of explicit themes, death, grief, panic attacks, blood, hospital stuff, ptsd, age gap (reader is 35, Robby is 50) (no smut but yall better love it)

WC: 4.3k Drabble who?

A/N: omg no smutties??? Who possessed me??? Okay well there is smutties, this just isn’t it. I mentioned before that I started writing smutties based on ep 12 but when 13 came out I just had to write a comfort fic. God this man needs to be held and loved so I couldn’t help myself. The smutties based on ep 12 is still on the works. So think of it as an alternative ending to this one. I started writing this last night after I finished ep13 and i cant believe I finished it so fast. Hope you enjoy being traumatized give Noah his Emmy btw

Staying away from the chaos of the ER was the plan for today. As far away as you possibly could. You did this on purpose. Neither of you had worked on this day in years. You didn’t mind that Robby had made other plans. You were even happy that he was keeping his mind occupied with Jake. You would happily stay home and catch up on some well deserved sleep. Ever since you convinced Gloria to give you that pediatric emergency medicine fellowship, you had been doing overtime almost every single shift. You left at the same time as Robby every night, and that was saying a lot.

So when you felt movement beside you, your husband shifting as quietly as possible, you were very suspicious. You stirred and grumbled almost immediately. Much to his attempt of getting out of bed without waking you.

“Michael.” You muttered into your pillow, blindly reaching for your phone beside you. He gritted his teeth, turning his head to find you squinting at your phone. “Why are you getting up at six on your day off?”

“Ah, busted.” You felt his weight sink into the bed as he leaned over you to leave a kiss to your hair. “They’re down an attending this morning. And you know we’re short staffed so.”

You scrunched up your face, huffing softly as you shifted on your back. You gave him a look of apprehension and he leaned down to kiss the expression lines on your forehead.

“Today? Really?” The sleep lingered on your voice as you rubbed your eyes softly. He clicked his tongue but said nothing. You weren’t shy about it. You were an R2 when the pandemic broke out. How you managed to start, and maintain a functioning relationship was still beyond you. Though you guessed you understood each other’s he trauma. And your marriage has been without issues so far, so you guessed it worked out. Still, you weren’t beneath bringing it up, even if he didn’t quite enjoy it. “Michael I really don’t think—“

“It’s fine. I’m fine, really.” He was firm with his words, loving, but firm, like he didn’t want to press the matter further. A sigh of resignation left your chest and you shrugged, shaking your head at him.

“Mkay. Want me to come in with you?” You sighed, stretching out your arms with exhaustion. Robby narrowed his eyes at you and shook his head.

“Nope. You’ve been working what? Thirteen? Fourteen hours straight? Absolutely not. Sleep while you can. You’re going to burn yourself out.” You hated when he lectured you, the age gap between you sometimes becoming painfully obvious. You groaned with annoyance and squeezed your eyes shut. You hated when he was right.

“Fine, whatever.” You pretended to pout, which he found quite amusing. With a soft chuckle he leaned down to press a kiss to your pouty lips. You couldn’t help but giggle. “I swear Gloria is still punishing me for hexing you with my charms. She couldn’t get rid of me so she’s making me suffer.”

“Aren’t you doing overtime willingly?” He tisked at you as he peeled himself from you to finish putting on his scrubs. He knew that if he didn’t leave your side soon he would forget he has actual responsibilities to attend to.

You scoffed at him, shifting to your side again, “I’m being coerced. She insists that my fellowship is an unnecessary expense and that if it hadn’t been for your favoritism I would’ve had to transfer hospitals.”

“It wasn’t favoritism. I was completely objective and unbiased. You really are one of my best doctors.” He reminded you and you laughed into your pillow.

“She doesn’t seem to agree. She makes sure to remind me every time she sees me.” You rolled your eyes, disdain lacing your tongue. Robby found it almost amusing how you didn’t even try to hide your opinions. He always had to hold back a laugh whenever you gave Gloria side eyes when she came strolling down to the ER to get on his case about one thing or another.

“Yeah, well, she’s a pain in my ass too. Don’t take it too personally.”

“I’ll make you coffee and something to eat, hm?” You suggested, figuring you would spend as much time with him as you could before you didn’t see him for the next twelve-plus hours. He shot you an apprehensive glance, eyes narrowed but you were already throwing the blankets off you. “I’m already up. I’ll take a nap when you leave.”

Robby chewed on the inside of his cheek, clicking his tongue as his eyes followed you out of bed. His eyes never left you, more than happy to be reminded that you were parading around in nothing but an old tee and panties. He followed you out of the bedroom with eagerness, more than happy to follow you around until he left.

“Shit, my sweet and amazing wife is making me coffee this morning? And she’s making sure I eat? Aren’t I lucky.” He chuckled, following you to the kitchen. Your giggles filled the air and he was so in love with the sound it made his head spin.

“Don’t forget hot and young too.” You looked over your shoulder and shot him a wink, snorting at the groan he let out at your teasing words. If you had to be reminded that he was older, he had to be reminded that you were younger, too.

“God, I hope you don’t say that shit to other people. Makes me sound like such a creep.” He sighed out, his freckled cheeks dusting red with embarrassment. You loved to tease him about it. Even though you were already thirty when you started dating. You found it amusing how worked up he got about the logistics. You knew it fucked him up for months when you first slept together.

“If it makes you feel better, I tell people I wanted to fuck my attending.” You managed to hold in your laughter until after your words sunk in, you had your back to him as you made him his coffee, but when you heard him mutter ‘Jesus fucking Christ’ behind you, you bursted into giggles. “You love me. Oh! Can you get me the strawberries and blueberries from the fridge? And the Greek yogurt.”

“Yes I do, unfortunately.” He sighed out a long exaggerated breath as he searched around the fridge. You shoot him a glare, which he took with a chuckle.

“Okay, well, you can starve then. I’m not making you shit.” You clicked your tongue, huffing as you crossed your arms over your chest. Robby pouted, trying to stifle a laugh at the matching pout on your lips.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He said in between laughs as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you to him and he left kisses on your cheek, on your nose, until you broke a smile and giggles left your lips. “You have such a shitty poker face.”

“I do. I can’t resist your old man charms.” You teased, throwing your arms around his neck. He rolled his eyes at you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, successfully shutting you right up. You didn’t protest, you were in fact, very pleased with this exchange. God, you wished he would stay home with you. You didn’t want him to go. You were tempted to jump him right then and there. If you pushed him enough he really couldn’t say no to you even if he tried. But you also knew better. So against your better judgement you relented.

“I really have to go hun.” His words left his chest with an edge, his fingers slightly digging into your hips. You slightly threw your head back, grabbing his face as you whined. “Cmon, don’t do that.”

“I really can’t convince you to stay, hm? You’ll have me all to yourself today.” Your words left your lips softly, quietly. You could almost hear the gears turning in his head, his jaw ticking with each string you pulled.

“I’m gonna think with my head and regrettably say no.” An uneven breath left him, much to his dismay. Your offer was so fucking tempting. But he knew better, he definitely wouldn’t hear the end of it if he ended up not showing up.

“Ugh, I like your other head better.” You gave him one last jab to his sanity before you pulled yourself away to resume your previous task. You heard him groan loudly as he reached for his freshly brewed coffee.

“God, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

Though there was a smile on his face, those soft brown eyes filled with warmth, you knew him well, too well, and you knew there was more hiding behind those eyes, behind the same facade he put up every year. And that sat with you, you carried that worry like a burden, because you didn’t know what truly was going on in his head, what he was thinking. And it made you wish you could just lock him up until the day had passed. But alas, he wasn’t the type of man to hide. Exchanging I love you’s as he walked out the door left you with unease, with anxiety. And you couldn’t shake that feeling.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey love. Lemme guess, you’re staying late?” Your teasing words were laced with humor when you picked up the phone. You had managed to get through your day, though you definitely missed your husband. It was around six when he called.

“Yeah, something like that. Uh, fuck. I’m sorry to ask, but could you come in?” He rushed out his words, a sense of urgency edging through his tone even over the phone. The smile on your face quickly fell and you stilled, stammering over your words. “There’s an active shooter at PittFest and I’m down two residents. Please, you know I wouldn’t call if I didn’t have to.”

You were running to your bedroom for the first pair of scrubs you could grab before he was done talking. Your mind was racing with a million questions, but you didn’t have time to ask any of them.

“Fuck me. You really couldn’t stay home today, huh?” You blew out a breath of exasperation as you threw on pieces of clothing like a maniac. You were thankful you had decided to take a shower before getting started on dinner. Guess you would have to settle for takeout tonight, if you even left the hospital at all.

“I wish I had. Look on the bright side though, I missed you so much I had to find a way to get you here with me.” Though his words were playful, nothing about his tone was humorous in the slightest, there was so much edge to his voice it made your heart sink. As if he needed another thing to make today miserable. Today, out of all days, too.

“You could’ve just asked.”

You were on autopilot, walking to the hospital wasn’t even a conscious thought. You and Robby walked there every shift, it was just automatic. Though you were sure your feet walked just a bit faster than usual because you were walking through those doors and rushing downstairs before your brain could even process where your feet had taken you. You were met with the sight of just about the entire ER staff, day and night shift. Your heart pounded against your chest louder and louder by the second. You spotted Robby talking to Dr. Abbott. His eyes trailed in your direction and he could almost feel a sense of relief wash over him when he spotted you. It was automatic, his feet were taking you to him. He met you in the middle and he pulled you into his chest without hesitation.

“Michael.” You offered quietly, pressing the side of your face against his chest, happily accepting his embrace. You felt him press the cheek against the side of his head, a long sigh of relief leaving him.

“I really needed you. Thank you.” He muttered softly, only for your ears to hear. You nodded.

“You should’ve called me sooner. You’re down two residents?” You asked quietly, feeling the way he tensed under your touch at the question. He half nodded, another exasperated sigh leaving his heavy chest.

“Yeah. Collins wasn’t feeling well, so I sent her home, and I had to send Langdon home, too.” You could hear the slightest bit of edge in his voice at that last part. You frowned, pulling back to look at him with confusion.

“Why? What did he do?” You asked with a frown, having the feeling the reason had nothing to do with illness. His jaw tightened, his eyes drifting away from your gaze.

“You don’t want to know.” He shook his head dismissively, but his tone was anything but reassuring. You narrowed your eyes at him, not convinced by his answer. But he didn’t give you more than that. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

You didn’t want to push it, not right now at least, he had enough on his mind. You simply nodded at him, offering him a half smile as he walked you back to where everyone had gathered. You were met with some confused faces, but also welcoming glances of the familiar ones. You figured they were medical students or interns, since you didn’t recognize the new faces. What a day to be your first day, you thought.

“Okay, this is all hands on deck. That’s why I called for some help. For those of you who don’t know, this is one of our best doctors,” Robby looked at you as he introduced you. You felt almost embarrassed, faint heat rushing to your cheeks but you said nothing. “She’s our emergency pedes fellow, so if you need an attending and you can’t find me or Abbott, find her.”

You felt a bit awkward as Robby continued, now explaining the bracelet system and the colors for each area. You could still feel some confused and puzzled eyes on you every once in a while, but you otherwise ignored it. You figured there would be time for proper introductions later.

Robby and Abbott were done saying their final pieces before everyone dispersed in their own directions. You offered Robby a smile as he left to check on triage. This feeling of unease at the imminent doom that awaited you was making you sick, but you knew this is what you had to do. You eventually found Dana, and you were very distraught by the very evident brushing on her face.

“You didn’t have that last night. What happened to you?” You asked her, your tone alarmed, but you managed to keep your voice down. She sighed, like it was a long story that she had no desire to get into at this time.

“An unhappy patient decided to express how displeased he was with our care.” She states, her tone tired. Your eyes widened, your mouth falling open.

“A patient punched you? Are you fucking kidding?” You scoffed in disbelief and she simply nodded, too tired and burned out to do much more. You shook your head. “Maybe Gloria should fire me. Maybe she can hire better security with my salary.”

“Doubt it. She would find a way to claim we still don’t have the budget for it.” She blew out a humorless laugh, also shaking her head.

You opened your mouth to reply but stopped when you heard a string of voices speaking all at once, you knew it was time for the madness. And you had no idea just how much.

~~~~~~~~~~

You don’t know where your head was anymore. You were jumping from patient to patient like it was a marathon. You had managed to tune out most of the noise, focus on where your hands were. You were helping Langdon when you spotted Robby wheeling in a girl and your heart nearly stopped when you saw Jake following him. Robby hadn’t heard from him or his girlfriend since the shooting started and he was frantic, looking for him every time a new patient was wheeled in. He didn’t show it, but you could tell.

“You good here?” You asked Langdon, his panicked expression matching your own when he spotted Jake. He nodded, ushering you to go. You nearly ran across the other side to find Robby doing chest compression on a girl, and Jake was standing there, refusing to leave her side.

“Jake, hey, are you okay?” You asked him, checking him for any severe wounds, but he didn’t seem to be hurt, despite being covered in blood. He didn’t acknowledge you at first, his eyes glued to the girl on the gurney, you assumed this was the girlfriend Robby had told you took his ticket.

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay, just my leg I think. But Leah is really hurt. Is she going to be okay?” He still wasn’t looking at you, not moving either. You gently grabbed his arm as you made eye contact with Robby. You knew that look. You half nodded, trying to usher Jake back. You hadn’t known him super long, his mom and Robby had already been split for a while by the time you came into the picture. But he thought you were cool and you found his relationship with Robby endearing.

“Robby is helping her right now, but you can’t be in here. You need to get that leg checked. I promise I’ll come find you.” You slowly pulled him back as you called for a wheelchair, he wasn’t budging, understandably not wanting to leave his girlfriend. “Jake, please. Robby’s got her but you need to get checked out.”

You managed to join Robby, and it did not look good. You made eye contact with Dana, and you did not like the look she gave you. You took in a deep breath, clearing your throat as you tried to find your voice.

“Where do you want me?”

“Switch with me.” Robby panted, quickly switching places with you. You resumed chest compressions, despite knowing where this would end. You couldn’t stop the bleeding, and you couldn’t transfuse blood fast enough. But you would keep going until he told you to stop. “Stop compressions. Check for carotid.”

You swallowed, pressing your fingers to her neck. You held your breath, perhaps holding yours would allow you to feel even the faintest beat. There was nothing. You sniffled softly and shook your head.

“I can’t feel the carotid.”

“No femoral either.”

You stopped keeping track of how long you were at it. You were at three bags of blood when you stopped compressions, and again you couldn’t feel anything. Robby shook his head.

“Robby.” You protested, knowing this was it. There was nothing else you could possibly do. There just wasn’t enough time. He shook his head again, the denial evident on his face. You exchanged knowing looks with Dana as Abbott spoke, but he couldn’t get through Robby either.

“Push one more bag of O neg, resume compressions.” He insisted, his voice breaking the slightest bit. A shaky breath left your lips and you hesitated for just a second, but you complied nonetheless.

“Abbott is right. The bullet probably tore right through the aorta. I still can’t get a pulse and we can’t give her another bag.” Your own voice was breaking, sweat starting to fall down your forehead and soak your hair. He shook his head at you, checking his own pulse to make sure the machine worked. “Michael—“

“I know, I know. Fuck, just, let me try this. Please. Hold compressions.” His voice was shaky, on the verge of breaking as he avoided your gaze. You breathed out shakily as you stopped and waited. You could hear abnormal beats, coming and going. And then nothing. There was nothing. Robby kept trying, his jaw tight and he squeezed his eyes shut as he desperately tried to find a pulse. Anything. There was nothing. Your eyes found Dana’s and she shook her head at you. Your eyes filled with tears when Robby shook his head. “We’re done.”

Your breath got caught in your chest as you held it, your own eyes fluttering shut as the realization finally dawned on you. When you opened them again your eyes landed on Robby and your heart sank. You swallowed, inhaling sharply before you spoke.

“Do you want me to come with you?” You asked quietly and he quickly shook his head, sniffling softly.

“No. I’ll go. Just.. Can you take her?” He looked at Dana. She nodded. You opened your mouth to speak again but he gave you no time. He was rushing down the hall as you were left with your mouth open, speechless and distraught. Seeing him like this, it reminded you of what today was. And that feeling made you so uneasy it made you nauseous.

You didn’t know how much time had passed. You got pulled from patient to patient until your head started to spin. You didn’t even have time to notice Robby was gone. And nobody could find him. Those words made your stomach drop. You rushed to where Jake was, you found him still on his gurney, crying. You figured he knew.

“Jake…” You said softly, and he didn’t even bother to look at you. “Jake, I'm so sorry. We tried. We really did. But I need you to tell me where Robby is.”

Jake stayed silent for a long while, sniffling quietly, still not looking at you, “I dunno. He took me to see Leah then he kicked me out. He started, like crying and didn’t come back out.”

Your eyes widened, your breath picking up and your chest started to pound. “I promise I will come check on you but please, try to call your mom. She must be really worried.” You offered him a half smile, your lip quivering the slightest bit before you rushed to the pedes room. God this fucking room was cursed.

Your heart was not ready for the sight you would find. You were frantic as you opened the door and you found your loving husband, the love of your life, in a corner with his hands behind his head, shaking. You choked on your own breath as you grabbed the curtain and covered the door before you dropped to your knees in front of your husband. Your own eyes filled with tears at the sight of him like this. It was like he didn’t even process that you were here, he was hyperventilating, choking back sobs into his arms.

“Hey, Michael. It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.” You held back your own tears as you reached to grab his face. He wouldn’t stop, he was sobbing and crying like you had never seen him do. You didn’t know what to do, you had never seen him break down like this. Your own tears had started to fall without even knowing. But you kept talking to him, you grabbed his face, “Michael, hey, you’re okay. I’m here with you. I’m here baby.”

“Did… Did I ever tell you you have the prettiest freckles? They go so well with your eyes. You have the kindest, softest eyes. I’ve been in love with them ever since I met you. I knew that you were it, I knew I wanted to be with you, all the time.” You didn’t know what you were saying, or when you started to cry, too, but you continued, “I’m right here with you, okay? At your lowest, remember, like in our vows? I got you, I promise.”

You didn’t know what clicked in his head, or what wall fell down in his fragmented mind, but he reached for you, a broken sob leaving him as he found refuge in the comfort of your arms. He sobbed into your shoulder and you held him, cradling his head as you shushed him softly, choking back your own tears.

“It’s okay to cry, you know? You can cry. It’s okay. Just breathe with me.” You spoke quietly into his ear, pressing a kiss to his hair. He held you tighter.

“I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save any of them.” He sniffled into your shoulder, his voice hoarse from emotion. It shattered your heart to hear him like this. You would give absolutely anything to make sure he never felt like this.

“I know.. I know. And I can’t make it hurt less, I wish I could. But it’s okay to grieve and feel like this. Sometimes we need to feel it.” You said softly, breathing softly, each breath you took was slow and steady until his own breath matched yours. You held him there, you let him cry until he couldn’t anymore. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how long he had been holding this in. Years of grief bottled up until he couldn’t take it anymore. “You have saved so many lives. So many people look up to you. I look up to you. And I know you have lost a lot, and that feeling will never go away. But the good you have done doesn’t go away either.”

You lost track of how long you stayed like this. But you didn’t care how long it took. You held him for as long as he needed. You said nothing more as he cried quietly into your shoulder, until he stopped and all that was there was his tight grip on you and his steady breaths in your ear. When he was ready you gently grabbed his face and offered him a sad smile. He closed his eyes as he leaned into your touch, a shaky breath leaving his lips as you gently wiped his cheeks. He opened his eyes to find yours. And as he looked at you, you felt so much sadness seeing the eyes you were so in love with so full of pain. You held his face, your cold rings against his hot skin grounded him. You leaned your forehead against his and stayed just like that. You said nothing. He said nothing. You had nothing to say. You needed this silence. Words weren’t necessary, only grief and sadness was present and that was okay. You would be here to pick up his broken pieces when he was ready.

[k-aemi]

Hai I’m not the person that requested it but, can k humbly request more sae and Rin content with their sister :3 💕

itoshi sae & itoshi rin ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ progression.

smut, dub/non, anal, in/stepcest, manipulation, view it however you want.

part 1

ever since your "training" your nii chans have put you through, you just dont see that progression in your football skills. youre starting to think maybe youre just not made for it, but you loved football you dont wanna quit :(

theyve been training your agility, defense and stamina, you think it has maybe gotten a bit better? well thats what your nii chans tell you, they said youve made so much progress from the training and you should be come the best striker in no time.

but applying the training was never helpful. you still cant run for long, you can never aim properly, nor dribble. why cant you just be like sae or rin! theyre so talented and youre here still struggling even when you started the same time as them.

you vent to your nii chans, doubting their ability to train you and maybe it wasnt worth wasting their energy with you. it wasnt them, it was maybe just you. youre incapable to improve and perform moves that would slightly increase your playstyle.

"i dont know sae-nii...its not working! this training sucks! i-i dont see improvement!" you frown, whining to your brothers about the training. honestly theyre the experts, you shouldnt be blaming their training, but if they cant see improvement, why cant they just change their ways of teaching?

sae can only scoff, while looking down at your figure. honestly why cant you see that youre just not made for football? he hated to hear your whining everyday. but if you did, he and rin wouldnt really have any excuse to fuck you silly everyday. they just love their imouto sooo much.

rin comes in from behind, grabbing hold of your hair to lay on your shoulder, exposing your neck. giving it light kisses to it, trailing down to your back. "you just need some time to develop skills." he eases the thin strap of your shirt to your arm, exposing your boobs.

sae closes in the gap between you and him, firmly grasping your sides before sliding down to squeeze your ass while rin grasped your mounds leaving you to inhale a sharp breath.

"then we have to change our ways dont we? dont worry 'mouto. ill make sure you can really put that training to use."

youre met with sae slurping up your wet cunt while rin rubs his cock between your boobs. your nose is met his with balls as he continues to drag his hips, squishing the soft mound to get more friction.

your hands grip on saes hair, tugging on the strands which does make him annoyed. slapping your hand away to leave him to just eat your pussy out. it makes your body twitch. the way rin niis balls lay on your mouth and sae nii sucking on your clit...your nii chans always makes you do these types of training...way different than theirs.

your focus shattered without warning, feeling something prodding at your tight hole. sae latched off your cunt, his thumb circling around the rim of your ass. you want to close your legs, but sae nii always has a tight grip on your thighs which forces you to keep open.

your protests would only become muffled thanks to rin nii. so its basically pointless to speak. but you can feel his thumb slowly entering in and it makes you squirm. your legs kick in the air to push him away. his lips pressed into a thin line, eyes narrowing ever so slightly before taking hold of your ankles, confining them together with his hand, making you unable to resist his advances now.

he sticks his thumb in and it feels like youre going to explode. its so tight in there, and he knows it. the way your ass blinks and sucks his thumb only makes him intrigued. he wondered how youd react if he pushed further.

you sigh in relief when he takes his thumb out, soon to be met with two fingers entering in, curling up your tight walls. you moan into rin niis balls and he lets out gasps, the vibrations made the pleasure better as he continued his thrusts between your boobs.

sae nii moves his fingers in and out, its difficult to move since your walls clench on him hard, but he needs to prep you for the next level of training. "stop squirming or else you wont be able to take the next training." he spoke with his stern tone. you can only comply, knowing sae nii, hell get annoyed and spank you until your ass becomes red, it always leaves you crying.

"hey, youre gonna put it in there?" rins face looks conflicted, no way in hell he wanted sae to take your first in your tight ass. sae can only scoff, not liking the way rin interrupted him. "shell be fine." dropping a glob of spit on your ass, making you wince from the sudden contact with his wet saliva.

rin sighed in annoyance, knowing he couldnt stop him either way. he latches off your boobs and you feel relieved you can breathe properly again...only for rin to smear his precum on your plump lips. he caresses your cheek, looking down at your already teary eyed face. he had at least some empathy towards you unlike sae nii, but he loved using your body for his and your pleasure of course.

"g'na hurt a bit. just breathe through here okay?" you frown, but you know you have to endure it, sae nii said it will work this time! you have to obliged. meanwhile sae coats himself in your slick, getting every inch of it as a lubricant so it can be a bit easier for him to insert inside your ass.

rin slides his cock in your warm mouth, till his cock shaped your throat<3

he loved how his big cock did that. taking hold of your neck before he starts his ferocious thrusting, making you slobber all over his cock. saes glad rin had already inserted himself in, because he knew youd cry loud when he inserts his cock in.

carefully pushing his tip in at first wasnt so easy. it was painfully tight for both parties. your hands finds itself to rin niis thighs, clawing at it from just the pain of sae niis tip. your body tensed as he tried to force more of himself on you. your legs kick aimlessly and sae can only let out ragged breaths. your ass was so fuckin' tight.

"fuck, its tight." he gasped out, taking hold of your waist, he can hear your pathetic whines and youre probably crying right now. which you are, it hurts so much. hes stretching you out like crazy. sae struggled just entering in, his breathing becomes heavy.

rin soothes your throat with his thumbs, cooing you and telling you its okay. no its not okay! your throat burns and it hurts more than when he inserted it in your pussy!

when sae niis balls would touch your ass, hed pull back and then pushing back in. letting out breaths between every thrusts. god if your ass felt this good he doesnt wanna fuck your pussy anymore, hell just stick to your sweet tight hole<3

the way your gummy walls would clench on him felt sooo good, its like it has a mind of its own, its basically begging him to not pull out, the way it sucks him in was mouthwatering. he cant help but eye the way your hole was gaping because of his big cock. the way it expands has him out of this world, he could look at this forever.

your cries are muffled with rin nii stuffing you full of his cock. its nearly impossible to breathe in this situation youre stuck in. the training always made you sore after every session, they never give you a break. :(

sae does graudally fasten his pace, but not too much, he doesnt want to break you just yet. so its rare for him to go at such a normal pace. hes so close to cumming already, itd be embarrassing to cum right now, but youre so tight it makes it impossible for him not to.

rin niis cock pistoled inside your mouth with such rigger thrusting. his balls slapping your face was so lewd you cant even think straight. everything was a blur as you get fucked dumb by your nii chans cocks. your brain gets mushy and youre not even sure if everything is real right now.

"shit...should be fine if i come inside." he grunts out before fastening his thrusting, your legs kick up from the sudden change of pace and your fat tears fall to the ground. it hurts so much but sae nii is always so harsh on you.

it hurts so much you dont even register rin nii coming inside your mouth, forcing you to swallow him whole. you gag and choke as its forcing its way in. pulling out as he regains his breath. grabbing hold of his cock to smear any cum that leaked from the corner of your mouth back in. you hated the taste...its so bitter and sour!

"s-sae nii...hurts..." your pathetic whines were barely of a whisper, you cant speak properly because of the burn. sae ignores your protests only continuing his rough pace on you, too into the moment.

you sniffle. you need to grab hold of something...anything. "r-rin nii...hold my hand please...sae hurting me.." youd hiccup in between. rin of course would hold your hand, cooing and shushing you to try and distract you from the pain. "s'okay 'mouto. rin nii is here." hed caress your cheek while you tightly squeeze his hand.

"'m gonna cwum...rin nii..." you cried out, saes near his end too, he cant wait to finally feel what its like to cum inside of his baby sister. "k-kiss me nii chan.." youre so cute rin thinks, with a face like yours with those baby doll eyes, how could he refuse? leaning in, he kisses you tenderly, distracting you just a bit from the pain.

"take it all." were saes final words before he thrusts in one last time, releasing his cum inside your walls. and god was the feeling incredible. he grinds on you to ride out his orgasm and its so much better than pulling out, even after using your ass, youre still so tight. he thinks the hole was made just for him.

your finger nails dig deep into rins hand and he hisses, while sae nii helps ride out your orgasm. rin latches off your lips and he admires your fucked out face, your eyes are rolled back and your mouth is slightly left agape. the way your body twitches is so cute too.

sae recovers his breathing, eyeing your overly exhausted figure. flushing his chest on your boobs to whisper to you.

"have you learned anything or do we need to do it again hm?" but thats just an excuse to fuck your ass again.

hihi it took the whole day to finish because i kept getting distracted im so sorry!! i hope it is not too rushed! (╥﹏╥) but hope u guys enjoy this one, last step sib post i swear and i will write a different trope! too many sib requests www, i will tag those who wanted to be tag (≧��≦) ♡ and for those anons who wanted more here ya go! @rinrinniebaby @riinniies

[funsizedshark]

this point has been made before but santos and langdon are 100% written as mirrors to each other and if santos had been a man there would have been 15000000 meta posts about his snark and impulsivity being a cover for deep-seated emotional issues and his childhood but since santos is a woman she's a huge bitch who needs to get humbled. which by the way has already happened multiple times over the course of the past 10 episodes but i guess to appease the masses foaming at the mouth to see a woman crucified we need a full scene of idk robby yelling at her that shes a fuckup in front of the entire ER

[bucktommyboned]

drives me crazy how they keep saying we cant take eddie saying hes straight at face value when at the same time they try to take tommy saying as much as he wants to be hes not bucks last, and him scoffing when buck says eddies straight. these arent the same thing.

eddie is talking about himself. he has the most authority to talk about himself. he knows who he is.

tommy is talking about buck. and tommy keeps trying to attribute shit to buck when he does not have the authority to talk on it. hes not buck, he doesnt get to decide who is bucks last. tommy can decide for himself sure but he cant decide for buck.

and honestly, i dont think some people have ever had an argument where one side is on the defence and the other is on the offence. tommy isnt scoffing that buck says eddie is straight cuz he secretly thinks eddies gay. that has nothing to do with the situation, tommy doesnt give a fuck what eddie is. he cares how buck feels. and instead of saying "i dont feel anything like that for eddie." buck says eddies straight immediately as his defence, leaving room for tommy to think buck might have one-sided feelings which is what tommy is insecure about. and we know buck doesnt cuz later on this man tells maddie he doesnt feel anything like that for eddie.

which is what he should have told tommy instead of breaking the poor guys heart with the most batshit sentence i have ever heard. this whole conversation between these two is the biggest example of a miscommunication trope ive seen in a while.

[datbitchbonnie]

Oh fuck off even fucking implying I don't know EVERYTHING about what it's like the HELL its like being an open and proud Family Guy kin. You should know better than anyone the abuse I face in the real world The punishments I go through almost daily just for not conforming to society like the rest of the sheep in this world. And how dare you criticize my OPEN RELATIONSHIP with Joe (which, yes, IS DIFFERENT FROM POLYAMORY. FUCKING LEARN WHAT WORDS MEAN BEFORE YOU USE THEM.) we've talked about it not only in MY canon but IN THE LITERAL FUCKING SHOW. it's not polyamory between me and Joe I am faithful to him in so many ways I spent so many fucking years of my life helping him changing him making food for him raising his children Joe knows he can't satisfy me sexually because of his disability so how DARE you imply I'm not loyal when you and Peter have cheated on each other multiple times FOR NO REASON BECAUSE PETER CAN LITERALLY HAVE SEX AND JOE LITERALLY FUCKING CANT. Its honestly not your business me and Joe's relationship we have talked about it it's not perfect but don't act like you're all high and fucking mighty because you conform to a nuclear family and we dont and WE FUCKING LIKE IT THAT WAY. and none of this even has anything to do with poly people because ME AND JOE ARENT FUCKING POLYAMOROUS ITS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP which is also incredibly stigmatized and people call us horrible people for "cheating" when its NOT FUCKING CHEATING so because of that and because I'm Family Guy kin I'm actually fucking able to sympathize with people in a hated community but I guess you aren't. well good fucking luck Lois I'm sure all the normies will want to pick you now that you've shunned the "true freaks". at the end of the day were all just cogs in the machine we'll all die and be nothing the same as anyone else. Fuck you.v

no way you're comparing actually marginalized queer groups to FAMILY GUY KINS

Polyamory isn't inherently queer and FAMILY GUY KIN IS MARGINALIZED

[kokii-omii]

Random fun facts with my Twst ocs

(not drawn cuz i dont have my tablet with me rn)

Pan Nikos

He bit a kid once cuz the kid was badmouthing his brother

Is the Heir to the Hermes branch of Olympos

Was the team captain on his middle school spell drive team

likes to cosplay and crossplay

the magestone he has is located on the right side of his headphones instead of a pen like it normally should be

once sent a message via pigeon because his phone died and he was NOT gonna ghost someone because it was just that important (it really wasn't)

his room is an absolute MESS, wires on the floor, foam, blankets everywhere, plushies scattered on the bed, books everywhere except the shelves

used to be in a club called "Bug Collector's Club" before him and jade saw each other in the mountains doing club activities and just decided to merge clubs

the ignihyde first years are low key scared of him because they pissed him off so bad he actually started yelling at them and threatened to leak everyone's search history if they misbehaved again

he has photographic memory

Pan knows how to play the electric guitar, the flute and the lyre

teched out his shoes so he could fly

flew into a tree when he was testing it out (always wear a helmet kids)

his love language is gift giving

Peyn Algos

Has a grandma that's fae and lives in briar valley

he visits her for winter break and often helps her with the modern technology

he's his family's tech support

his mother is human and his father is fae, his mother works as an archeologist while his father is a librarian

has an older sister that's a model

has a tamagotchi named Peggy that him and Pan take care of (it was a gift from Pan)

is more magically connected than technologically (he was taught by fae after all)

he fully thought he would be put in Diasomnia given his background, but learned and adapted pretty easily to techno-magic science and stuff within the first month

Peyn's an absolute beast at DDR and any rhythm game

beefs with riddle sometimes

memorized all 810 rules of heartslabyul just so he could argue with Riddle about how absurd they are

he is VERY spiteful

is actually two weeks younger than Riddle (his bday is on August 10)

probably the only ignihyde student that likes PE and sports

his love language is quality time

Ezmond Morado

has rook on his hit list (dont ask why)

has been a genius at potion making since he was 7

the feather on his hair is a quill, he sometimes writes with it

he gets mistaken for a beautiful girl almost every day (deuce thought he was a girl at first)

his mother is a doctor while his father is a botanist

he knows how to draw really detailed plants and landscapes (cant draw people tho)

there was one time a potion brewing went wrong and accidentally turned him into a cat

has beef with leona because he's constantly making krohn do things for him (he literally does the same)

Ace is also on the said hit list (i don't think i need to explain why)

he holds grudges and NEVER lets them go

His love language is words of affirmation

Krohn Luteus

He's fully fluent in squirrel, he sometimes has full on conversations with the squirrels at school

Can absolutely boogie down and groove

he has no enemies 😌

seriously nobody beefs with the guy cuz a. he's built like an absolute unit and b. the entirety of savanaclaw would jump them if they tried anything (the pros of being Savanaclaw's chef)

he's REALLY strong

he could lift Jack, Ruggie and, Leona all at once and STILL be able to run full speed

he was a boy scout

he's also probably vargas' favorite student idk

he's dumb, maybe even a little dumber than deuce but he got the spirit

his love language is acts of service

___________________________

I'll do my yuus next if anyone wants me to

[smoothlikealikeasnake]

Strong Coffee and Sweet Cakes

Chapter Two ‘The Curse of Exhaustion’

Genre - BTS FF, a/b/o dynamics, a/b/o BTS and MC, Ot7 x fem MC/reader, so fluffy, little angst, eventual smut

Warnings - Very fluffy! Angsty themes like loneliness, sadness, light insomnia - let me know if there’s any more! X

Summary - A new cafe near the Hybe building will change the 7 members of Bangtan’s lives forever, 7 alphas in a pack? A recipe for disaster. Until a sweet omega starts to stir up their world with a little bit more sugar and slowly their loneliness dissolves

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Author Notes - Chapter 2 is here! It’s starting out slow right now! I’m mostly focussing on introductions, world building, introducing you to the characters and dynamics of this story so the plot can progress!

Sorry I didn’t post this yesterday like I said, I got caught up longer than I expected to in the day and didn’t have time to write xx

The final scene was a last minute addition and idk why I just love it!

With Namjoons new energy, the producing process seemed to be much easier, atleast one out of three minds was inspired and had some encourgement. But, all things come to an end, by 5pm, Namjoons motivation has deteriorated and the lack of sleep begins to catch up, fast. Its catching up for everyone, Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon have been stuck in the studio for the last three days and only slept once, unhealthy habits that they continue from years ago because three perfectionists, trying to produce an album on a timelimit, all thats in their minds are caffeine and work.

All three are rubbing at their eyes, heads heavy and thoughts beginning to process and thats when they have to call it quits, for the night atleast because without a single present mind, no work was going to be produced at all and theyd be back in the situation they thought they would have had all day, exhausted, drained and unmotivated. Atleast a few hours of sleep is needed right now.

"I cant even think" - Hoseok groans, rubbing at his neck and clicking it as if it will wake him up some and help him, legs aching from being sat for so long

"Neither, maybe this is it for tonight" - Namjoon agrees, slumping in his chair just a little

"Just another hour or two and then we can call it off" - Yoongi mumbles, not even taking his eyes off the computer, more just commenting half passively to encourage them to keep going just a little longer but the thing is, that little one or two hours is a whole lot when you havent slept in days

"We havent left the studio all day, lets just take a short break and then we can keep going" - Namjoons groaning out finally accepting near defeat

"Yeah, you know what, how about we go to this cafe your talking about and just get a drink to bring back" - Hoseok mentions it, curious but also just more eager to get a stretch of his legs because its what he desperately needs right now.

"What do you think hyung?" - Namjoon knows Yoongi could turn around and flat out say no, he doubts it, but he could and as much as they could fight, they are all reaching for the same thing right now.

"Yeah, okay we can take a short break" - Because as much as Yoongi wants to just stay and work, his pack and how they feel both physically and mentally is incredibly dear to him, even if it isnt always openly shown, even if he grumbles out his agreement and huffs, he doesnt mind taking a break for them.

Quickly having one last listen and making sure to save and close the computer just in case, the tired alphas groggily make their way into the biting air under the sunset, 5:15pm. Yoongi doubts the cafe will even be open anymore, Hoseoks yearning for his americano and Namjoon is maybe a bit too excited to go back so soon.

The two who havent yet seen the cafe pause for a moment when it comes into view, furrowing their eyebrows and taking in the scene because they instantly understand the appeal atleast visually, Their warm fairlights and string lamps set up outside lighting up the seating area and the atmosphere is like that of a movie in the moment, they'd seen hundreds of beautiful places in all of their travels but this is different, the small details Namjoon had noticed earlier making their way into the two alphas attention too. The 'Open!' Sign is still flipped how it was this morning, Namjoon sighing out in relief because he really does need the caffeine. Because thats definitely, definitely the only reason he wanted to come back. He too is surprised your open and it isn't too busy inside from what can be seen through the windows, tables occupied but not packed.

The little bell jingles as they enter, the two elder alphas taking moments to observe the inside, inhale the still strong scents of coffee and baked goods and yeah this was starting to make sense why Namjoon liked it here so much after just one visit. And then they see you, instatly knowing your the omega Namjoon mentioned as you bring over the teapot of chamomile tea to Mrs. Han and engage in a light conversation with the sweetest smile gracing your lips. Your eyes flicker to the door at their arrival but you dont stray your attention from Mrs. Han too much knowing your conversation would be short and you'd be back behind the counter shortly.

The earthy scent youd enjoyed this morning briefly fills your nose from across the room and your eyes light up a little, hes back, so soon and with two? other people, other alphas. One is a strong, heavily masculine sort of burning wood smell, theres hints of sweetness underneath, if you were to guess its- marshmallow? but its subtle and oh so complimenting with a hint of whiskey, just a little, its warming and while its a combination youd never imagined before it works so well, like a summer night out in the forest, a wood cabin and a fireplace maybe. The other is musky, the kind of musk only an alpha can have in their scent which can easily be overwhelming, unpleasant even, but its mellowed out with hints of crisp green apples and cedarwood, its lively, masculine and perfectly balanced, refreshing and so alluring. You try to resist the urge to breath a little deeper to take in more of their scents as you listen to Mrs. Han and finish up your conversation but as you begin to walk towards the counter and allow a little more of the scent to invade your senses, you cant help but frown at the bitterness of exhuastion that is laced over each of their scents, its unsettling to you, the type of tainting you really dont like to smell on others and you walk a little faster to take their orders and hopefully make it even a little less bitter.

Namjoons smiling as he approaches you at the counter, looking over your clear window showing off the bakes and noticing how its nearly empty now, just a few of each left, some only having one or two, some actually empty but there it is, the apple and cinnamon pretzel that made his morning and then he looks back up and he wants to coo at you, your hair messier than it was this morning, a little fluffy and your wearing a pair of glasses now, adjusting them on your nose as you approach them quickly, your sweet smile back again.

"Hello! Back again already" - You giggle out and Namjoon goes a bit pink with realising how yeah hed come back under 12 hours after he came for the first time and swooned over your coffee and bakes. Yoongi and Hoseok stand slightly behind him watching with intrigue and taking you in, a little warmth filling thie chest at your soft appearence and voice, they can also feel the shift in Namjoon's scent as it twists just a little stronger and sweeter, your nose twitching in response in a way that they find utterly adorable.

"Haha- yeah" - Namjoon awkwardly laughs out, practically facepalming in his head at the awkwardness in his voice but you really dont mind, its cute to you. Its cute in a way you'd never really thought of alphas like before, his clumsiness in body language and words just making you smile wider. Its so common for alphas to purely exude confidence, overhwelmingly strong and often pride too, which, of course is bad to stereotype but its one youve actually experienced. The lack of those two qualities, the slight uncertainty and natural tinge in Namjoon's actions are refreshing, its welcomed.

"What can i get you?"

"Ill have an espresso- uh the blend from earlier if that isnt too much trouble" - Namjoons cursing himself for not asking what it was because youd been working all day and probably had tens to hundreds of customers in that time why would you remember tha-

"Of course its not! Anything else?" - Ah, you cut off his doubt and awkwardness in a second and hes grateful, incredibly, for how attentive you are, even if you dont have to be at all

"What do you guys want?" - Only then do you bring your focus back to the two behind him and the way they step forward a little, not intimidatingly on purpose, but just naturally makes your eyes widen a little, brain falter for a mere second from the power of their scents but you force yourself to relax in order to listen.

"Ill have an americano " - For hoseok, looking forward to trying this coffee that transformed Namjoon

"A cold brew for me please" - Yoongi mumbles out, just loud enough for you to nod enthusiastically and you tap a few times on the screen and read over the order, routinely about to ask about what coffee blend theyd like but something comes to mind.

At 6am Namjoon had ordered two espressos, looked exhausted, wasnt even going to eat anything with it, hed left with some energy which made you happy but now hes back with that same exhaustion, at 5:30 and ordering more coffee? Its not your place, you havent even known him 12 hours but you cant stop the concern, the gentle scolding you want to give for how it cant be good for his body to have such strong coffee at this time in the day when he should begin to unwind.

Your eyebrows furrow, a little frown settling on your face and all three alphas feel their heart jump when you look back up at them, specifically speaking to Namjoon to hesitantly address your concerns, your breath hitching before you speak because this really could come off as rude potentially and thats so far from what you want but you cant help it, maybe you could atleast suggest something else, just playful concern, right?

Unfortunately it comes out more sad and concerned than you wanted it too. You want to sound teasing but your voice fails you along with your expression and you curse yourself for sounding too pushy but none of them see if that way.

"More espressos? Its evening now and you had an early morning" - Namjoon faulters at your words, lips parting in surprise and he can feel the strings in his heart pulling in everywhich way. You watch him struggle to reply for a moment but then you look at the other two criminally handsome men and one (Yoongi) suddenly smiles amused at your bold confrontation despite not knowing him long at all and Hoseok tilts his head with a smaller smile in further curiosity, waiting to see how this plays out.

"Ah we still have some work to do" - Namjoon eventually manages to get out but he instantly regrets it when your frown deepens, you arent going to argue because its not your place but the lack of approval in your expression has Namjoon spinning back on his words with a hand scratching his neck awkwardly, hes giving in to your every concern and wish without even realising because it feels good to be cared for, concerned for, its not common ehich is odd to think considering the millions of fans who wish them well at all times but this is personal, real, raw concern and its not because hes an artist, not because hes someone you admire but simply because hes human. And thats something that feels new.

"But... what would you suggest instead?" - The way your expression lights up and smile regraces your face is enough compensation for giving up the caffeine he holds close to his heart, this feels warmer, more rewarding. You instantly reply bubbly at his acceptence of your not so subtle suggestion.

"I can make you a mint tea? Its relaxing, less caffeine, good for your throat" - You list off a few benefits happily and its clear youd chosen something you found suitable to him because chamomile was too relaxing, fruit tea possibly too sweet, mint was just right in your opinion.

"I'll have one of those then instead, and uh another apple and cinnamon pretzel please" - If he's going to differ from his usual choice he might aswell indulge in another one of the sweet, filling treats he so enjoyed before, the way you light up impossibly brighter in the dim ambient atmosphere pulls a more permanent smile onto Namjoons lips, he can see you teeter on your feet because he'd indirectly admitted his adoration for the bake.

"Of course!" - You tap it in satified with his change of heart, more than satisfied, fulfilled and warm inside, holding back a purr from showing how much it warms your heart to care for and treat people, especially those who work too hard for their own good which is what these alphas give off.

Your looking over the other two alphas remembering their presence instantly, this could be their first coffee of the day for all you know - you doubt it - given they look the same as Namjoon in terms of exhaustion but you dont know anything about them and your interference with Namjoon's order is as far as you'll push for now so you just give them the same smile you give Namjoon and look over all three as you ask your next question, really trying not to shrink under their strong presences. Its hard to ignore the swell of pride that fills your heart realising not only had Namjoon returned so quickly but he had also - supposedly - brought his friends here too, its an indirect praise that just makes you smile a little wider, your cheeks a little warmer and fingers a tad more fidgety but you try not to show it.

"Anything else?" - Hoseok looks over at the bakes display because Namjoon had ordered something from there and then something catches his eye

"Is that banofee pie?" - One, pristine slice remains under the cake cover and when does he ever resist a banoffee pie, especially one that looks so good.

"Yes! It is" - Your nodding and watch Hoseok pause for a second, heart lips pulling into a tempted smile, nodding to himself and you

"Ill have that slice then please" - The smile widening on your face a little is once again rewarding and Hoseok wants you to always smile like that- even if hes only just met you.

Yoongi has been watching the interactions silently, observing you, the way your so expressionate in your body language and face, saw the way your body lit up like a live wire both times the alphas requested one of your desserts and while he really did want to get back to finish up and finally sleep a bit, he wouldnt mind staying for a while in the cozy atmosphere of your cafe.

"Okay! Is that all for you?" - The three are nodding quickly at your question

"To go or sit in?" - They should go, get their drinks and go back to the studio but something in each of them is tempting them to stay. To indulge. Namjoons looking back at the other two quickly because he knows they said theyd go back but admitedly he doesnt want too and when he looks at Yoongi for his decision and when the man simply shrugs, avoiding looking him in the eyes and pushing his long hair back, Namjoon feels like hes won something, turning back to you waiting and nodding before he answers for the three.

"Sit in please" - You quicly ring them up and repeat what youd told Namjoon this morning, that they can sit anywhere and they find a small corner, three comfortable seats and a window for a gentle, fresh breeze. In your negociation with Namjoon youd completely forgotten to ask what the other two alphas would like coffee blend wise and you panic for a moment, looking back and forth as they sit down and noting the deep sighs they exchange purely from thie minds clouded with stress, you take the decision for yourself to give them the least disturbance, a honey roast for Yoongi and a Medium roast for Hoseok, mint tea for Namjoon with a little pot of honey he can choose to add or not and prepare all of it on a tray with the two treats they wanted.

Meanwhile around the table, the three begin to talk, taking in the night settling outside the window and taking a well needed moment to breathe

"She is sweet" - Yoongi mutters with a confirming nod of his head

"Very cute, caring too" - Hoseok instantly agrees, eyes watching you spin around behind the counter preparing their different drinks, intrigued.

"Yeah i mean i did say" - Namjoon’s eyes are also on you, thinking about how you’d thought about his health before anything else and it was just sticking with him.

"Bold of her to suggest you not have what you originally order... i like it" - Yoongi gives a small huff and smile.

"So we going to finish and go back to the studio"

"Thats the plan"

"We just have to review the last track again, make any last changes, it feels like its missing something but im not sure what yet" - Yoongi tells them with his eyebrows pursed because if any of them are the hardest on themselves when it comes to work, its him. Hoseok's a bit too distracted by observing all the patterns youve decorated this place in to think about what exactly is missing in the track but luckily for him, Namjoon answers.

"I get what you mean, just something small but definitely vital, it could just be the backing vocals we need Jin to record though"

"Maybe" - Yoongi hums out, imagining the song in his head and trying to work out if spending another few hours will even do anything or if Jin's vocals are all the track really needs.

"Choreography is coming along alright, pretty sure we can start to learn it next week" - Hoseok finally refocuses on the work topic and he recalls back to him and Jimin struggling to bring some of the choreograpies together, of course some of them are choreographed by other people but dancing is him and Jimin's passion, it just makes him cringe recalling the pure frustration and tension building when things just dont work or dont play out how they envisioned.

Before anyone can reply, they're distracted by you teetering over, silent on your feet but your sweet scent gives you away, unknowingly lulling some of the tension in thier muscles away, each of them slightly melting into their seats. You entirely focus on putting each of their orders infront of them, repeating them outloud quietly and being careful not to spill anything from the tray. The three watch you, expertly moving each of their cups around one by one with barely a few taps on the table, only then do they take you in further.

Your apron is tied tight on your body, secured with a bow in the back that Hoseok notices, fitting, he thinks. Your hair is tied back but a few strands have fallen from the ponytail and framed your face, the hairs tickling you and making you twitch but it doesnt set you off task for a single moment. Energy seems to bound around you but Yoongi notices the tiniest shake of your fingers and just slightly laboured breathing as your omegan body tries to keep up with the pace you set yourself, its something youve taught yourself to get used to and you have built a significant tolerance to it but at the end of long days like this one, it starts to catch up to you, makes you jittery and has you yearning for your nest at the end of the day more than anything.

You dress simply for work, just in a t-shirt and jeans that are for the most part comfortable but at the end of the day begin to make your skin feel a little scratchy and sensitive, nothing you can help or avoid. They do little to hide the curves of your body but its not something the three men spend time dwelling on because they arent some freshly presented alphas or disrespectful in general. With all of the dishes and cups placed down you quietly repeat everything back to yourself, a look of concentration on your face that makes the three watch you intently, making sure everything is there and when your content you shoot up from your slightly bent position, hands clasped infront of you and expression bright besides the impending tiredness that is due to settle over you soon and they can see it, as much as you try to push it down and only want to wrap you up in one of the many blankets settled all around and guide you to rest. You want the same for them however, and you express that, gently.

"Enjoy! And please do try to rest soon" - You say your last part quieter, hesitant but it’s appreciated by the three, and maybe your words settle in sooner than they'd planned.

You make your way back to the counter and occupy yourself with your tasks but the three can feel you trying to subtly glance over to gauge their reactions, they dont mind, more curious and intrigued more than anything. The sips they all take have them simultaniously groaning, kind of animated, seeming almost fake because it feels luxurious, smooth, perfectly suited to their tastebuds. Your smiling to yourself at their reaction and it only gets bigger when Hoseok tries his pie and his eyes practically gauge out of his head, taking an even bigger bite than before.

They find themselves not drinking and eating for fuel, but for enjoyment, slower than usual and certainly slower than theyd planned. Theyre sinking into their chairs, Yoongis slowly blinking in that catlike manner he has, Hoseoks slumping in the chair and definitely would usually mentally scold himself for how hes acting as if hes in his own home with his head leant back against the chair and manspreading but he didnt really care right now for some reason. Namjoon is feeling particularly heavy, sleepy with the warm, soothing drink youd carefully prepared for him, finding himself running his hands through his hair in an effort to try to keep himself awake. Without realising, half an hour goes by, 6pm and the cafe is slowly emptying, the three half asleep, incredibly relaxed alphas realise they should probably get up, so slowly they do, trying to blink away the sleep.

"So we best get back huh?" - Namjoon gets out, rubbing his eye but Yoongi shakes his head, surprising them both

"it can wait, lets just get some sleep" - Yoongi can practically feel the joy radiating off the two others from his words

"Look at us, taking her advice without even realising" - Hoseok jokes about it but its the truth and walking over to the counter to drop off their plates, they can see the tiredness in your own body a lot more clearly now, trying to keep up with quick movements but your hands are shaking more than before and your faltering in your movements, seeming to forget your actions every few seconds but your trying and its so clear it makes them frown.

"That was amazing thank you"

"Truly" - Hoseok throws in and they see you spin around at their words and muster up a warm smile, wishing them a good evening and telling them to remember your words from earlier playfully. Namjoon and Hoseok begin a slow walk to the door, Yoongi about to follow but he looks at the two, sees them about to reach outside and turns back to you, capturing your attention.

"Take care of yourself, hm? Get some rest" - Yoongi's quiet, making sure no one else can hear and his tone is soft but assertive, a small frown on his lips, you stare for a moment a little shocked, opening and closing your mouth like a fish because you hadnt realised anyone else could see the indicators of your tiredness but his expression made it clear he had noticed and he cared. You like to show care to others, it makes you happy but oddly enough, you dont often recieve the same, not that you ever expect it but just as an obersvation. He makes you stutter and blush, warm inside and all you can do is nodd furiously with a smile and a quiet assurance that you will.

Yoongi nods back, huffs in satisfaction and your small interaction plays on repeat for the rest of both of your nights. Yoongi revels in your sweet reaction, the "i-i will" you let out even if the surprise you showed unsettled him, the pink tint of your cheeks is cute, the fluster different from your confidient and bubbly personality he'd seen before that but he wanted to see it over and over again. Hes unknowingly smiling as he leaves until Namjoon and Hoseok ask him why he looks so giddy, brushing them off and telling them they should all get home and sleep, which they do without a second thought.

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Your cafe is open early and late everyday, 6-6:30 monday to saturday but thats exactly why your friends are vital to any sort of success you have because without them, you simply wouldnt be able to run the hours you do. Mondays you do the entire day, along with wednesdays and fridays, one of the three will always be there during rush hours to help but for the most part you are set to work the entire day. Unfortunately, the long hours completely take it out of you and you also have to do the baking so to manage, you focus in the kitchen on Tuesdays and thursdays, maintaining prep for the rest of the week and having time to recharge whilst one of the others take front of house or two of them somedays. This way, you have much shorter days on those days and get the rest you need, you get to sleep in and leave so much earlier too.

Its essential - the rest - because as an omega you naturally crave and require more sleep than betas and alphas, its in your genes and although you absolutely use every ounce of your energy and some to work as much as possible, it does catch up to you. A lot of days youll walk in to your home, barely functioning and b-line for your nest, sleep an insane amount without much time to yourself. Of course you get breaks during the days you work long hours and you'd recently hired some part-time staff to help throughout the day alongside Yuqi, Soyeon and Soojin and its taken some weight off of you but you still often find yourself in the exact same position as you are today.

Not having a pack as an omega is hard, most would find it impossible but your situation isnt something youd change in desperation, your not in a pack by choice, not by force because your entirely waiting for the pack that feels right to invite you, if that day ever comes. It's hard because you crave the comfort and safety betas and alphas - especially - naturally provide to omegas in their pack, the ability to exude their scent in waves to lull their omegas into a softer, less anxious state - which you often get - and in return omegas are naturally nurturing, calming to those around them and balance out a pack, taking away stress.

For you, after a long day you begin to get jittery, shakey and lose focus in moments, you get out of breath incredibly fast, your eyes grow heavy, your mind slows down and tasks that would usually be simple become incredibly hard. You do your absolute best to hide it, to never show it infront of customers or even your friends but sometimes your friends notice and silently come to your aid just a little more than usual, something your grateful for, incredibly. No customer has ever noticed it though, atleast never enough to ever comment on it but Yoongi did and it made you freeze up, almost like making your mind catch up with your body and you felt even more sluggish than before but for some reason, it felt- okay? It would usually make you frustrated but today it felt okay to let yourself be tired, okay to be a bit more lenient on yourself.

After closing up, your walk home is slower than usual, not forcing yourself to keep at a pace that makes your muscles burn and lungs scream. You have the same issue as usual when you get in though, entering your own cozy space puts your body on sleep mode, tells you your finally in some kind of safe environment so you make yourself a quick dinner, half asleep already and moving sluggishly and as soon as its down, a quick shower so you dont get your nest dirty where the hot water feels especially scalding on your sensitive skin, sometimes makes it a little irritated but it all is well when your nest comes into sight.

You barely throw on your pajamas before bounding into the soft cocoon, purring in an instant, body finally allowed to properly rest, clutching onto the variety of blankets and not attempting to even check your phone because your hands are shaking too much. Somehow youll manage to put on a show to watch for .5 seconds before descending into a deep sleep but most nights its unfortunately interuppted. Not by anything but yourself, thats another reason beta and alpha pheromones are essential for most omegas, they help you sleep and stay asleep. Without, you end up waking up multiple times in the night without reason and its annoying along with incredibly tiring. Jolting awake isnt new to you, just not exactly what would be the ideal situation with how hard you work everyday.

Bangtan's pack experience the same, work long hours everyday, hardly see a few weeks of break a year - if anything - and in the time they do have to sleep, they struggle, tossing, turning, jolting awake. They put it down to the stress of their idol life but deep down they all know theres something else factoring in, the absence of something theyve yet to find. Its gotten especially hard for them recently, back from the military. Before, they could bury themselves in military tasks, exhaust themselves into a slightly deeper sleep, just as they could usually do before from their idol activites but now? Its started to stop working, as if their bodies have grown immunity to their tactics and are still pushing for something they dont know. Between consistent stress from the comeback, catching up with everything theyve missed and having to become accustomed to their pack/group life all over again - which theyd never imagined would be so hard to do, they never noticed just how routine it all was until they split apart - their bodies are in overdrive and their emotions? Yeah, not great to say the least.

The songs their writing themselves are getting more and more negative, forcefully positive in some cases but its so fake that it just feels wrong. Their unhealthy habits become more and more frequent, hormones are all over the place and their struggling, possibly more than ever. They bought a penthouse recently, collectively, its huge, big enough for all of them and they claimed they can stay there during group activites for convenience but realistically they share comfort in eachother, not just because they are a pack but because they share this deeprooted loneliness that those around them won't understand.

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"Is it hard? Being an omega, not in a pack?" - Yuqi asks, blunt as ever and you know she means no harm, no intention to upset you at all so you take it with no offence even if Soojin elbows her hard for how she says it

"I dont know, i guess it was but im used to it now" - Theres not a hint of solemness in your voice, no search for sympathy because this is just how it is. It still makes the six - Yuqi, Soyeon, Soojin, Shuhua, Minnie and Miyeon (your friendS for years now) - cringe and frown, always ones to be concerned for you no matter how much you try to brush it off.

"You always have any of us you know?" - And you know Soyeon and the rest of them mean it, you shove another mouthful of rice in and smile through your cheeks with a nod, if you need them theyre only a call away but you understand why they're concerned, Alphas and Betas such as themselves have a significantly easier time without packs because they genetically arent as dependent on others usually.

"Aishhh always getting solemn Soyeon" - Miyeon scolds, nudging her because you clearly wont speak more on this topic, you never do, its a jar you dont like to open, one filled with old memories and Miyeon knows that.

"Sorry sorry- So, hows Leila, Shuhua?" - Ah this is a happy topic, Shuhua's neice, a little omega who isnt even one yet, the baby she sontims brings to your cafe when she babysits and just has you gushing and fretting over every little thing about her. Everyone can feel you brighten up, your scent sweetening as the hint of strawberry thickens balanced with the sweet cream.

"Yes! How is the little potato" - Yuqi asks and you push her shoulder with a playful frown, scolding her for teasing the cute baby. She does have the most adorable chubby little face and hands and legs and just everything- a little marshmallow if you were to compare her to anything but Yuqi liked to call her a potato

"If you keep calling her i think Y/n's going to explode one day Yuqi" - Minnie playfully teased and faux pouted at you but Shuhua brushed them both off, just continuing

"Anyway, she's great! My sister said she Doesnt let go of the blanket you gave her Y/n" - Thats the other thing, both Shuhua's sister and her husband are beta and alphas, Leila is an omega, its a rare occurence but far from impossible. They have barely any omegas in their family and no matter how much research they do sometimes they still struggle or Shuhua will struggle will babysitting but thats where you come in.

You understand, you can understand in ways alphas and betas cant because your an omega and while she isnt your daughter or related to you in any way so you dont know her every tendency like her family do, you can help in some cases. Like a few weeks ago, when Shuhua had come in with her and you'd been working in the kitchen that day but youd whizzed out, flour all over your apron and rushed over before youd even heard Leila's first cry because you could sense the distress before they all could. Soojin had stared in surprise as you'd practically sprinted past her and reached the two just before Leila began to cry and saw Shuhua's face morph into one also of distress because she was fed, changed, being held after not wanting to crawl or walk for the moment, all of the things shed routinely check, indicated that Leila should be just fine and you knew that Shuhua had obviously done everything right but you could feel and see some unresolved discomfort.

You didnt know what from, but it was the kind you'd get when you just needed an extra layer of comfort when you were younger especially, its how you ended up with a collection of soft blankets to bring with you to places - which now are carefully placed in your nest after years of wear - its a hunch but it was worth trying and you'd wide eyed rushed around, to your small office in the back, past Leila and Shuhua and Soojin again, practically throwing blanket after blanket out of the box you have kept in the office, unscented new blankets that you kept just in case until you found the exact one you were looking for, its soft, crotcheted so she could slip her fingers through it easily, long enough for her to drape over her body for years to come and with a quick feel yourself, you just knew it was right so without another word you were draping it over her and gently encouraging her hands to hold onto it, her wails soothing until a wave of tiredness settled over her and she was asleep with pink cheeks and sniffles within just 2 minutes.

Shuhua had looked at you in pure astonishment, even though shed watched you be especially nurturing to omegas before, those in distress, discomfort, just a little sad or even those who you just sensed needed it but Leila couldnt even speak yet you'd just known and back to now, it fills you with joy and warmth that youd made the sweet little thing happy.

"When doesnt our Y/nie know best" - Soyeon exclaims dramatically, hand over heart for added flare and everyone laughed at her tease while you grew red cheeked and shoved in anoher mouthful of meat from the hotpot youd all gotten. Every friday night youd all go out for a dinner at the same restaurant in the area, a smallish one that just did the absolute best hot meals ever. You were exhausted every time but you kept it together throughout the day and evening because you look forward to this time with them, its rewarding after a long week and you cherish it. Absentmindely, the six always pick up on your needs, never forgetting to pick up the blanket from your office chair to drape over your shoulders or lap for that extra layer of comfort you just need after the day and they make sure your drink is always topped up, usher you into the middle of the booth between them and make sure you always walk home with someone even if youd tried multiple times to resist their fussing, they just know you, and they care.

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"Jungkook why have we just got a huge delivery of pillows, blankets and duvets?" - Seokjin asks over the phone watching as box after box gets piled into the entry way of their penthouse, utterly confused when he read the box contents on the top of each one. Its absurd, the place is already decorated.

"I just wanted them hyung..." - Jungkook quietly mumbled out, he cant explain it to Seokjin because it sounds silly, he just got an urge, he felt an itch and he scratched it. Seokjin was running his hand through his hair seeing more and more come through the door and just standing in utter disbelief.

"What are you even preparing for?! An apocolpyse? The biggest movie night known to man? Have you suddenly turned into a bear and not told us your preparing to hibernate for winter?!" - Seokjin rambles into the phone, words spitting like fire.

"Hey i get it, the place definitely needs to be cozier" - Jimin agrees from Jungkook's side of the line, adding to his purchasing choices and Seokjin just cant believe it because in what world would they need anywhere near this much?!

But whats the point in arguing when Jungkook already sounded scolded and sad, its been hard for them lately, theres no point adding to the stress. With a deep sigh, Seokjin just bites his lip and nods to himself, mentally agreeing with the new arrangement.

"Do you want me to arrange them or just put the boxes in your room?"

Just two nights before, Jungkook had been browsing on his phone when he saw a tiktok of an omega preparing their nest, so many blankets and cozy things and his body went on autopiled, he acted without a single thought for some reason and for the next three hours, he ordered every type of blanket and pillow he could find on the website the omega linked for their primary usage, of all different materials and sizes without much of a plan at all. It was also clearly out of place for Jungkook because he barely ordered anything in black, white or grey, more white than the other two but everything else was mainly soft pastels, a few brighter pieces here and there. Its odd, but he let it happen because in the state hes been recently, he just needed to do something that felt right and it also felt right to order it to the penthouse and not his personal house, so he did. He didn't want to explain how the urge clawed at him until he gave in, how afterwards he slept better than he has in a very long time because theres no logical explanation for it.

Except there is, Jungkook is instinctively preparing for a omega to enter their lives and he doesnt even know it.

Thank you so much for reading I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Hoping to get the next one out very soon xx

Please let me know what you think! My asks are open and I try to reply to comments as fast as I can

Side note, I watched Are You Sure for most of the writing of this, not relevant but I just did because I love it.

Mwah 💖

ཐི♡ཋྀ

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Taglist : Open! Just lmk if you’d like to be added x

@m00njinnie @imeverycliche @kiki-zb @meowforluv

[crushedsweets]

Which songs would you pick as theme music for each of the Creeps?

i'm picking songs from MY daily playlist, which is mostly indie love songs - so these arent entirely accurate, but i think it forces a unique perspective (and im far too lazy to perfectly curate a song per character)

TIM is fast car by tracy chapman; "maybe together we can get somewhere; any place is better; you and i can both get jobs; and finally see what it means to be living"

BRIAN is 4runner by brenn; "i see you're still doing the same old; hanging out with people like me; you know i'm trying to get a little bolder; so, this town is where i'd rather you be"

TOBY is king for a day by piece the veil; "won't you push me for the last time; you want a martyr? i'll be one; now i dont want to feel a thing anymore; im tired of begging for the things that i want; im over sleeping like a dog on the floor; imagine living like a king someday"

KATE is hammer by hana vu; "are we gonna make it? cause i have to; i don't wanna be here but i do; and i run away cause i ruined mine; and i fall asleep cause i get so tired; and its hard to say what the trouble is; ill run away til its all behind"

NINA is cologne by beabadoobee; "at least leave the scent of your cologne; i'm not done yet; please, kiss my neck; lets go for another round; i hate what this song is about; am i attractive? tell me, am i good enough? lately i've been on an off; i think ive hurt too much; think i'm gong to explode"

CLOCKY is tell me its okay/im not angry anymore by paramore; "maybe its been years since i genuinely smiled; and maybe its been years since i wanted to be apart of anything, but lately i've been good, you know, i've actually been great; man, i even laughed a little today, oh so strange"

JACK is the dead coming talking by roe kapara; "feel the worms eating holes through my mind; light regrets that'll kill me in time; walking backwards is always a guess; distance faces burn holes in my chest"

LAZARI is my mother wants me dead by carolesdaughter; "nobody can say they know me; i know my mother wants me dead; i cant trust you, i know you bleed blue"

BEN is hot rod by dayglow; "my memory is not like the other one; maybe i'm not all that you thought; we don't move like we used to do; maybe you're not such a hot rod"

SALLY is oysters in my pocket by royel otis; "oysters in the pocket; not that we are selfish; we just haven't learnt much; send me on my bicycle; the chain is all rust"

JANE is lucerene by richy mitch & the coal miners; "i fervently want some time alone; no wine, no elixir, no spirits can make me whole; i say it with pain; i don't know if im in the right yet; still some burnt blood remains"

JEFF is scrawny by wallows; "still wear the same shoes i did back then; i dont think theyve ever been untied; dont care to watch the story unfold; hate feeling like im not in control; now tell me im a scrawny mother fucker with a cool hairstyle"

LIU is didya think by arlie; "never thought you'd be the kinda guy to get a day job; never thought you'd be the kinda guy to take a safe route; so why ya sittin around? did ya think it'd be easy?"

DINA is my bodys made of crushed little stars by mitski; "im not doing anything; my bodys made of crushed little stars; would you kill me, jerusalem? i should tell them im not afraid to die"

ANN is baby you're a haunted house by gerard way; "better find another superstition; your heart will stay forever; when your last remains are few; ill be the ghost inside your head when we are through; sometimes you scare me; and i'll find a way to scare you too"

LULU is stella brown by jelani aryeh; "i don't know what to talk about; how has my head just hollowed out? spend my time awaiting, lying; patient inside this racing mind; i'm too precautious and i often doubt"

[pandoraroid]

(nearly) live reacting to Pack Smash Tournament II: The Remix

i dont get shit about smash so a lot of shit probably went above my head 😃

Warning Spoilers Ahead!!!!

milo is appalled?? shocked?? that asher has a spreadsheet for the whole thing

david shares in his astonishment. bro (asher) is locked in he does not play about the tournament !! (haha get it... doesnt play about the tournament.... i'll see myself out)

david: "that's my laptop"

milo: "and that's my hat from two solstices ago!"

THEYRE SO SIBLINGS LMAAAOO

asher: "uh milo, sam says he's hungry byeeee"

bro pinned it on the vampire. the one of two (well three) guys who dont need to eat. genius.

BABE AND SWEETHEART LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF. MORE MATES BONDING SJDGJDVD

milo: "what are you eating sam? (proceeds to list off all the foods)"

sam: "milo im a vampire"

the fact that asher got milo to shift his attention to sam, whether or not he forgot he was a vampire, and milo also probably forgetting that is HAHEFSBDFV

milo: "nobody's going hungry on my watch" THE IMPLICATIONS!!!! somebody shoot me.

vincent: "then i hate to see what quickly going insane looks like" VINCENT BABY LOOK AT ME AND YOU'LL FUCKING KNOW

the reference to the summit 😭 im fucking deeaadddd

david: "i know i've said it before but, if there's anything we can do for the two of you you've got it" MY POOR TENDER HUMAN HEART. that wasnt meant as a jab at... yknow

NOT ANGEL AND DARLIN HOARDING THE BROWNIES (same)

NOT LOVELY JOINING THEM??? (would)

asher: "babe give me the glasses" BLIND ASS FUCKER HHAHAHAHAHHAHA same. haha ass fucker... well 😏😏

vincent: "always a great sign when you're stunned by your own success *giggles*" VINCENT UEHSIBDCV SIJFUHBD that was so cute omg

asher: "how many times are you gonna kick me in the head david?"

david: "how many times are you gonna roll onto my feet?"

milo kissing sweetheart as like a comfort thing :( the way the gun appeared into my hand IM KIDDING

milo: "not the victim blaming"

asher placing milo with the two vamps... that was a targeted attack wasnt it

milo: ur majesty? ash i dont know if he still calls himself a prince anymore!

ash: i had limited material to work with!!

vincent: it's a great name asher dont worry about it

sam: "hey milo look you're in the background" BYEEEEEEEE

the way my foot stepped off the building /POS I SWEAR

THE TRASHTALKING BETWEEN ANGEL BABE AND LOVELY. FUCK I NEED TO HEAR IT

milo: "LISTEN GRAMPIRE-" CACKLING WHAHHAHA

judging by asher's reaction im guessing babe told him to shut the fuck up THEY ARE LOCKED INNNNN BROOOO

NOT ANGEL HITTING(??) ASH WHAHAHAHAHAHA

sam: "holy shit darlin i actually won" LEMME KISS YOU MWA MWA MWA MWA YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN

asher: "ONLY SLIGHTLY FLAWED COWBOY HIMSELF - SAMUEL COLLINS!!!" SLIGHTLY?????

vincent: "i dont think he's gonna survive the night"

david: "Sam?"

everyone watching david and sam fight ARE LOCKEDD THE FUCK INN or at least i imagine angel and darlin doing the shit talk for their manz

vincent: "Asher"

SAM WINNING AGAINST DAVID HOLY FUCKK

sam: " i cant believe i just fucking did that" i can HEAR the disbelief and the smile in his voice DHEFSAVNJ

milo to vincent: "you got so much recovery and i got none"

asher: "dont get hit them you wont need it"

milo: "oh stellar advice lemme write thaat down" HAHDWEHBSCXA

milo: "next time give me one of my mains"

vincent: "who's that? pichu?"

had to look up what the fuck a pichu is but LMAAAOO

vincent: "you got this lovely *kisses* beat his ass" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

vincent: "it's the home court advantage it has to be*giggles* *kisses*" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sam: "i get to see it twice"

milo: "i wanna be mad but he's so earnestly happy"

oh samuel collins i love you

babe and asher facing off ToT

asher: "honestly i have no idea how im still in this"

milo: "neither do we"

babe DECIMATING asher. put the relationship on pause for sec It's On Site.

SAM WON YAYAYAYSYAYAYYAY

vincent: "am i rooting for you sam? what does the equal opportunist say?"

IMMEDIATELY GOING IN FOR THAT KISS WITH DARLIN THAT'S FUCKING GOLDDDD

that was indeed fact gold

milo: everything?

vincent: for what it's worth milo, when you all leave for the solstice, he has to hear everything.

david: everything.

vincent: everything.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA

i still dont understand a thing about smash i love to see vincent and lovely get included and sam winning. it's a good day to be a vamp lover.

[wtfforged]

how are your shapes so good. does it just come to you naturally or do you have some super secret resource or what? i love your shape language and i'm gonna try to improve mine so if you have any tips that would be greatly appreciated 👍although i get youve been drawing for a while and this stuff can kind of just be ingrained into you so if you cant really think of any thats fine too. love your art!!

HI THANK YOU i went on a super rant so im gonna hide it all under a read more lol

it does come a bit more naturally to me just because i dont really understand how to draw things WITHOUT breaking them down into shapes (especially since i was drawing robots for so long lol), but i also think my artstyle just naturally got more shapey as i tried to have more fun with art and especially as i started incorporating what i enjoyed from artists i like. an obvious example would be oda's art throughout one piece since i genuinely do think my art took a big positive turn as i started reading it lolol. i have so many screenshots of panels i enjoyed or thought looked cool cause he really is just a master at it all- i especially like the way he uses the line of action, shapes, motion, and expressions, and try to study them a lot. i also looked at some of my favorite artists, like bucketofrobots, monstyra, estridd, aciescoutex, or onebadnoodle to name a few who inspired me. Dont tattle on me btw this is our secret.

so first tip is just See how others be doing it. but that can be for literally anything in art not just shape- thats just how i started. im a very monkey see monkey do kind of person

second tip! is literally to break stuff down into their simplest shapes and action lines. which sounds redundant tbh when i type it out but i mean it. simplify things down to their bare components- especially with the parts you want to emphasize in mind- before you build on them (if you build on them at all ofc). heres some examples of some of my sketches when i do make them, and some with outlines for ones that i wasnt super clear/clean about. i literally will block out and break down the forms into simple shapes, even using lasso tool like in the second image first (especially if i really dont know what to draw pose-wise). sorry a lot of these i was playing with perspective but those or drawings where i have a very specific or difficult pose in mind are just the only pieces where i actually have a sketch layer instead of just jumping right to coloring my sketch which is what i do most of the time

and when i say "parts you want to emphasize", im thinking especially with motion or certain parts of a characters design, like really pushing those shapes so that its visually clear What Is Going On. for example, in the 1st sketch above, i wanted to emphasize that zoro was like, sliding in and about to unsheathe his sword in a really cool combat-y pose. or in the 2nd sketch, the character is supposed to be sort of mid-jump so i left some space around him and exaggerated that movement, as well as his thing being that he has cool giant punch-y gauntlets and is probably about to punch some baddie, so i put that right in the camera. and the third is the same, i wanted to exaggerate the running movement as well as the creepy hand since those are important to that character. and here in this fourth image below i wanted to emphasize one character being too pushy and overly friendly, while the other is very uncomfortable about it, so i really played with one leaning into the other and the other leaning away, etc etc you get the idea for the rest of the examples that i redlined.

im sorry if this doesnt make much sense or is hard to read because its too wordy. im not very good at wording stuff right especially with explaining my thought processes. im a bit too much of an instinct type person so it feels like when i explain stuff i just go "and then you go bwaaahhh! and booom! and babam!! and thats how i do it".

so if this sucked heres a post by EtheringtonBros thats kinda similar to what im saying, and a youtube video from fourleafisland that also, is kinda similar to what im saying and has very good points!!!!!!

thank you again!!!!!! sorry this was so long. hell i even wish it was longer just bc i really wanted to include some aforementioned oda screenshots but i got embarrassed of how many of them were just zoro and gave up on searching and i didnt wanna take much longer on this cause im already late to gaming with friends help. just open the manga yourself and look at whenever he draws sanji or luffy. theyre both extremely shape.

[meowdy-all]

Fic idea! When jayce and viktor disolve into the cosmos they like...become the arcane. Two halves of a whole, yin and yang. And when they merge, they become the universe/arcane herself.

Cause Mage viktor is...pa mage yk? And Viktor basically ascended to godhood. What's one more step? Boom, they ARE the fabric of the univers and magic.

So they disolve into the universe and become AwareTM of every timeline, possibilities, the forming of stars and planets, and culture in an instant. They see the rise and fall of gods, of counties and cities, everything in the span of an instant. They are here together, not better than they ever were, still the same, just with more power and awareness and love than they ever had.

And then they get dropped right into them being arrested after they make hextech. So now you have Jayce and Viktor who have the will of the arcane at their fingertips and the entire universe in their brains that have just been dropped into a grad student and an assistant and are actively being arrested. Cue minor meltdowns in their cell bec omfg we wove the fabric of the universe, WE made the magic this whole time? So they use the skills they have to help Zaun while also playing the council. Water filters air filters, they're going to actually help this time instead of letting their dream be corrupted, and it will actually work bec they have the very fabric of magic and the universe in their hands. When they figure out how to use it.

Jayce has to relearn all of his notes on magic bec Cosmic Jayce was crazy and some areas of magic have such insane rules that cant even be applied in his mortal body what was he thinking? And Viktors notes are no more help to himself or hayce either.

So they have to relearn their magic with mortal limitations, which is kinda difficult when you're used to making stars and black holes with a thought and a wave of your hand. There's a lot of nosebleeds and migranes.

While they relearn their magic (and their bodies *wink wonk*), they also take to tutoring Powder and Ekko after they adopt them (sue me, i love that trope)

Idk how that fits in here, but im a sucker for Jayce being ekkos older brother figure, and i think powder and jayce should be friends. and i think viktor would love ekko even though he chucked an anomaly at his face. Jinx and viktor are self-explanatory.

Its a fix it so everyone lives. The explosion still happened but vanders actually fine so are mylo and claggor (yk jayce and viktor control the magic, even across the distancehe could remive the magic from the stone, they know the explosion has to happen but it doesnt need to kill anyone else), vi didnt get arrested. But vi still hit powder and called her a jinx. Powder runs away, jayce and viktor are already on their way to zaun bec they Know. They run into powder (for some reason she trusts them) and they go get ekko and help him too.

A few months later, powder is in therapy (so is ekko tbh) , she still introuces herself to people as Jinx, but Jayce, Viktor, and Ekko call her powder. Jayce helps when Powder has her moments considering yeah hes been through the same thing, he cant really hwlp, but he can comfort (the whole reason i want then in the same place anyway i love them both)

Vander and Vi have been looking for powder since. Eventually, once the water filters and air filters get made, Silco and Vander make up; and silco joins them in searching. Jayce and viktor have made their own connections in zaun, and while some people are suspicious of help from a piltie at the start (esp silco and vander) the years of efforvtheyve put in to help has given them a reputation. Eventually, powder and ekko start a project to bring more light to zaun. They start by making prototypes for street lights. They decide to do their big project reveal; and this time, Zaundads and Vi decide to go. No one knows what they're revealing, but they've never had a presentation this early. Hell, the last presentation was for their streetlights. What else could the possibly have?

Zaundads sees Jayce and Viktor standing to the side, vut a flash of blue hair catches their full attention. Right there, getting everones attention, is a girl with a single calf length blue braid. And before their brains can catch up, Powder starts her presentation!

When it's finished, powder leaps off her improvised stage and striaght into jayces arms where he spins her around. Then, he pulls her and ekko into hugs. They can faintly hear Jayces 'im so proud of you' over the loud murmurs of the crowd. They see viktor come over and eatch them all hug again.

When it's over, Zaundads and Vi are watching in shock. They've spent years looking for her, and she was this close? How many times had vi run past her, or just missed her?

This was really supposed to be a 'we need more jayce being a magical girl, how about i make him one half of the most powerful entity to ever exist'

[k-aemi]

blue lock ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ doctors note.

obsessive behavior, a bit erotic but no smut, self-harm, use of force, multiple mental illnesses exposed, some mischaracterization but its for the plot pls forgive me :<, traumatic events(?)

a/n: haii so this might not be accurately correct im no expert in this category but if you guys catch any mistakes ive made pls tell me thru asks or message me ^^ id like to improve anything and fix.

this is part 1! i will be writing more if you guys like it

for context youre a psychiatrist that works by yourself....kind of. its sort of a family business owned thing. but youre the main worker with the degree, your family was just there to assist you with checking in patients and cleaning around the small facility you owned.

though, it did seemed youd have to relocate else where, you were barely getting patients because of the unknown location you were at, and judged from the outside. just because your place was small doesnt mean you sucked! you were top of medical school!

just on a random day you get over 10+ appointments. you werent sure if someone had mis-clicked and meant to only add one. but there were a list of names, and all their information...

you werent even sure what to do, you dont think youve gotten this many patients at the same time before, possibly 3 at best and that was all.

the one who even assigned all of them to you was some person named Ego Jinpachi. youve heard of him, hes one of the workers of blue lock wasnt he? that football facility not too far from your place. youve found out hes bringing in football lunatics whos suddenly lost their minds. he says if you can, keep them confined in here until theyre able to function properly. this isnt the mental asylum!

he told you hes only chose this one because of the lost of money due the change of behavior in his players, investors soon losing the interest in investing in blue lock. he only has so much to spend. not even the doctors at blue lock can help cure or bring their self of sense back.

so he asks you, which of course youll get two percent of what blue lock makes as soon as his players are back in top notch shape, which will make blue lock shine again.

you have no choice but to accept, this is your job anyways! its time to show your full potential!

patient #1: isagi yoichi.

checking in on isagi yoichi. who is dealing with severe anxiety. as hes constantly overcoming obstacles to try and exceed his performance, success and ability to meet beyond expectations. this always leads to him overthinking and anxious in high pressure situations.

he must becomes the best, but he fears falling behind his peers. he sets these expectations himself. his anxiety could worsen if hes pushing himself too hard, he wont be able to take care of himself for the future.

poor boy, always comparing himself with the geniuses surrounding him, he self-doubts himself, he thinks if he cant live up to their level, he cant be number one. he wants to be the best, he wants someone to recognize his talent in order to keep his drive to become number one striker. even an ounce of feeling ignored by the dominant players on field, he doubts his worth in football.

he was only the stepping stone to evolve rin and kaiser? he hates it. it feels like hes left alone in the dark. he wants to be the best, even with his best efforts, he cant do it! only there to unlock others potentials...but what about his?

getting to know him better, you fully understand as he warms up to you. you know the feeling of being left out, having that passion but never recognized for what youre worth for. he looks so drained and you feel so bad about it, for a doctor you feel like you get more sentimental than your patients.

he thinks youre always so patient with him, you would never pry into him forcing how he feels, or force positive thoughts into him. you patiently guide him through it and makes sure to take it step by step. sharing methods that could help with the anxiety.

your voice is so soft and youre not too much for him to handle. he thinks your presence is calming and warm, like he can forget all of his problems with you in there. every time you see a little improvement in his anxiety, youre always there to validate him. you just think with the praises, itd help motivate him!

oh and it does. to the point he lives for your validation. he thinks its a change of pace since youre no competitor from blue lock. he thinks of you as a safe space. you listen to him with no judgement, even when he thinks his diagnosed anxiety was for a stupid reason.

you view him not just as an athlete, but someone with emotions and vulnerabilities. he thinks thats the charm of you. he doesnt even notice it himself, but he starts to depend on you to make sure he doesnt feel rejected from society.

whenever youd come into his room to ask your daily questions, hes always asking further "are you happy im doing well..?" just to hear your sweet praises fall into his ears. hes love to hear it from you. thats his only source of living comfortably right now.

"yes 'm so happy 'ichi! im so excited to see you back onto the fields!" you clasped your hands together. the way the nickname rolls off your tongue makes him feel hes important to you, normally when someones important to someone, they love them right? you love him dont you? just as much as he does?

"[name..] you care about me right...? like a lot?" hed randomly ask you when youre checking up on him. it was very out of no where considering you were talking about the very famous franchise kamen rider shows. "hm? yeah care about you s'much!" you flashed your sweet smile at him.

your presence feels so warm...he...he wonders what its like for lovers to kiss is like, which is what he assumes you are to him. he cups your cheeks, staring intensely at your lips. youre a tad confused, you wondered if he just wanted to grab hold of something. not until you see him lean him and your eyes widened. coming back to your senses, you hands came in between your lips and his, stopping the kiss.

isagi can only look so confuse. what are you doing? youre his lover arent you? he can kiss you. why are you refusing him? his affection? are you rejecting him?

"i-ichi...what are you doing..?" you awkwardly back up and you see his gaze darkened. "this is what lovers do right...? we have to kiss. or are you rejecting me like everyone else does. am i just a background character to your story too?!" he lashes out on you.

"no no-what-lover..?" you should of perhaps saw this coming, in some rare cases it happens. your trance of thoughts were interrupted when isagi knocks down the vase on his nightstand.

"fuck-! knew it. fucking knew it. youre just toying with me too huh? youre rejecting me." he growls. the vase shatters you hurriedly try to pick up the pieces, youre scared isagi might try to hurt himself with these shards, if you dont take action fast, hell do it, so youll pick it up with hand first, the broom is kind of far and if you come back to him in a worsened condition, it can only lead to the bad.

you cut yourself on accident and you hissed at the pain. isagi immediately notices, grabbing hold of your finger...looking at it intently.

"u-uh ichi..?" you try to retreat your hand from him, but his gaze leaves you fazed. those eyes of his were so scary. isagi licks the blood that spills from your finger and licks it tenderly. sucking on the digists, tasting your precious blood which he thinks is sacred.

"i love you so much [name]...you feel the same way dont you..?"

patient #2: bachira meguru.

focusing on bachira meguru. a bit energetic...well thats probably an understatement, he really is energetic. studying him for a while it seems he has borderline personality disorder.

bachira who longs for deep connections may connect to fear of abandonment. he always struggled with loneliness and was always called weird by the other kids. as a coping mechanism, it led to him creating his "monster" he talks about to deal with the isolation hes faced.

he has an intense fear of being alone, even if its all in his head, he hates it. hes really dependent and have a strong sense of attachments to certain indivduals, just like isagi. he saw isagi as a crucial part to his well-being, knowing he can play football with him, hes like him, he has a monster too.

he yearns for someone to understand him. creating a sense of acceptance and validation from others. if he cant play football with anyone else, who else can but his monster..?

he doesnt even know who he is, he relies on others to define himself. just like how he relies on isagi a lot. whenever he sees isagi becoming more independent in his plays, he feels left behind because he thinks thered be no one else to play with him. :(

without the monster inside of him, he doesnt know how else to see himself. hes sees himself within that monster, without it, he struggles to find his true self.

whenever you come to visit him, hes always mentioning the monster to you. saying he wants to play, but you must help him get better first so he can succeed without the monster!

of course, you always ask him about the monster, you want to slowly try and make him self aware he can build other connections than his inner monster. you try to understand what triggers or triggered this abandonment, and when he tells you, you start to tear up on the inside!

you tell him to jolt down whenever he feels lonely or abandoned. or when his monster appears, what does it say? what does it do to him? giving him a little journal and a cute little pen with a sunflower on top to match his golden locks that touch the tips.

"you can tell me anything in this journal ok?" you flashed a smile at him. and he finally feels like youre the only one who understands him and this monster. honestly, if you were trying to make him to stop depending on the monster, hell just depend on you instead, thats the only reasonable thing to do right?

he sees you as a special person he doesnt want to lose. youre always so caring and give him the comfort he needs when he crys in the middle of night, saying he just feels so alone, he needs you to be there for him :(

hes never had this sort of comfort before aside from his mom. but having you and going through the process with it, he thinks this is what love feels like. he was always too silly to form a crush on anyone, or to even get a girlfriend, but with you by his side, this was definitely the love he yearned for, you understood him better than anyone. youre the only one for him.

he thinks whenever you visit him, its like going on a date! youre always coming in looking so pretty (you dont even have makeup on and youre in casual clothing www) for him and you look so happy to talk to him just as much as he does, he loves his doctor girlfriend<3

you dont even realize hes falling in love with you. you just think its his playful manner and excitement! youre so naive. what the hell did you mean you didnt know when he told you "you know if you werent my doctor id totally make you mine! kidding.." sticking out his tongue, hes so silly you just laugh.

sometimes hed randomly text you things outside of professional settings if you werent available right now, either out food shopping or helping out family matters. not that you mind, but itd be super random. "i drew two dogs. its us! :D”

even when hed say some "weird" things you suppose, something along the lines of him complaining why you have other patients. he tells you to just tend to him! you can only raise your eyebrow in confusion. "you do know its my job right?" you giggled a bit. "mmm... dont care. youre my doctor. and i hate sharing."

bachira always comes up to hug you first thing when you open the door to his room, he hears your footsteps from the hallway so he just stands to the side and jump at you when you enter in.

"[name]!!!" he nuzzled against your neck, the thud was so loud you think your sister probably heard it like 3 rooms away. his head rested above your chest as he rubbed his face on it, holding you tight around the waist.

"megu...stop doing that! im gonna get a head concussion one day!" you playfully bonk his head and he let out a soft grunt. he only giggles before inhaling your scent. god he loved this smell, it was at least better than the smell of antiseptics and disinfectants, it made his head hurt a bit.

"but missed you s'much.." he pouts. how did you not see the signs? you let out a content sigh, flashing a smile to him before patting his head, ruffling his hair. "sorry sorry, i was really busy. lets get you checked up yeah?" he nods eagerly. getting up to help you by handing his hand out, you grabbed it as he pulled you up. you never really realized how tall he was, judging by looks, he doesnt even look that tall!

but your trance of thoughts is immediately interrupted by a soft pair of lips on your cheek. did bachira just...? you back away, rubbing the part he kissed.

"im so excited for our date! were gonna talk lots and lots of things!" he grips your wrist, dragging you to the stool next to his bed. but you didnt budge an inch.

"hmm whats wrong? why do you look so upset?" he leaned closer to you but you back away. he notices this and doesnt take it so lightly.

"why are you avoiding me now..? do you think im weird? do you see me as a monster?" he starts to overthink it, as he clenches onto your shirt with a pained look. whats with this sudden demeanor?! you were never like this...so why now? was it the kiss? he thought you loved him so he thought you wouldnt mind!

"of course not megu...but you really cant just-" youre interrupted with a kiss on the lips. he didnt want to hear it. he was too dependent on you already, and youre gonna leave him like you guys had nothing? like you didnt have a single ounce of feelings for him either?! hes furious. how could you.

"dont leave me now [name]...please...i need you."

patient #3: chigiri hyoma.

onto the next model-uh patient. chigiri hyoma. seriously did he come from blue lock? he looks like a model with that beautiful hair of his. you accidentally mistook him for a woman! recording his actions and behaviors, you assume he suffers from ptsd, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

you found out that he had a acl tear and it was a traumatic event he just cant seem to forget, it nearly destroyed and shattered his dreams of being the best striker. sure he recovered, but this shaped his behavior and caused him emotional distress.

he was most confident in his speed, and for it to just be taken away from him again makes him scared. it would mean losing who he was as a player. stripping away that confidence and sense of security. poor baby.

hed never told anyone about this event. making it even hard to process having to bottle up is fears. even with his body healed, his mind didnt, still facing the fear and hesitation. :(

that traumatic event always replay back in his mind, and the words of his doctors still echoed inside of his head. hearing those devastating words that of he were to tore his acl again, his career of a soccer player is over.

whenever out on the field he gets the image of the injury happening, which he hesitates to show his full potential. whenever hed see someone to fall or hurt their knee, he cant help but feel that trigger, causing fear. it reminds him of what had happened and he cant escape from it.

just even thinking about running full speed, he hesitates and starts to hyperventilate. he gets so scared, he doesnt want to quit, he wants to keep playing! it gets so bad to the point hed have to be switched out with another person.

all he can do is run away from his fear, he wants to protect himself in order to keep playing. but how can he keep it up if his speed is what defined him? he wants to, but hes too scared of the risk.

he sees his strength in his speed. without it, hes nothing. hes nothing worth more than lead. he hated the feeling. the feeling of being weak, the feeling of being so scared. he hates himself. with his hesitation, he cant help but always feel like hes dragging his teammates down.

because youre his doctor and not one of the blue lock competitors, he thinks it might be alright to just fill you in, but he ended up telling you everything, and how he felt. he even cried, knowing he was weak after he lost his sense of self.

you sob listening to his story. youre determined to make him feel like he will be the best without having to worry! youre the first person hes ever told anyone outside his family. you give him the reassurance youll never tell a single soul about what happened to him.

to start off you think itd be best if you can help change his mindset! you help him challenge the negative thoughts that may occur in his head with confidence! "sure your speed is your gift, but its not the only thing that defines you! you need to remember just because it happened once, it wont happen again!"

hes never even thought of it like that, this whole time all he could think about is how hell destroy his body, and that stops him from showing his full potential.

you guide him through training to increase his comfort with getting used to full speed movements to boost his confidence his knee is strong and the past wont control him anymore! you give him some methods and techniques on to calm his anxiety before matches so that he wouldnt be so hesitant anymore.

you hope hed focus on the present, than cling onto the repeat of the past.

knowing youre the first person to know about his knee, you understand the weight of his trauma and you see past the talent he was gifted, he was more than just a speedy person! thats what he enjoyed about you. he feels like youre his safe space.

he gets these stir of feelings, hes confused on what it is. it happened when you told him..."you dont have to prove anything to me! whether you run or not, youre still the chigiri hyoma i know" followed by a giggle. what...what was this burning sensation in his chest. he cant wrap a finger around it.

he feels like around you, he can show his most vulnerable state. whether hes crying, angry, or scared. he can show it all to you without feeling judged. that always led to him wanting to seek your reassurance all the time. outside of football, he can be himself if youre around.

he loved how you were able to help him overcome his fears, even if it took a while, all throughout his whole years of liviing he was able to feel better about himself. due to his avoidant ways, he feels such a deep connection with you, causing him to think, maybe this is the feeling of love. he may thinks its admiration but he shrugged that feeling. its definitely love.

he starts to take mental notes of the little things you like or do. oh you prefer to use the air fryer than oil fry your food? its noted. you like to pick out the tomatoes from your burgers because you think the texture is gross? hes got it down. you like this certain movie at this specific time? you know it.

he loves your approval. everything you say to him puts in a trance really but he specifically loves whenever you help train his knee, seeing his progress, you tell him, "im so proud of you hyo!" his heart will always skip a beat.

he thinks the only patient you should tend to is him. i mean...you look like you enjoy his presence a lot, it means youre his favorite right? thats what he sees at least. so whenever youd leave his room, hed just mutter under his breath. "arent i better than them..?" with his furrowed eyebrows.

he knows the rules, he cant be a patient that falls in love with his doctor, but can you blame him? youre so caring and nice to him, its such a reliever from all of the egoists from blue lock. you dont think hed at least build some sort of dependency on you?

"alright hyo! im so happy youre recovering, i know its a long process but just some progress is a lot!" clasping your hands together to show your happiness. he knows its genuine, i mean you cant fake a smile like that. its so warm...youre like the sun to him.

"[n-name]...." he suddenly called out to you as he was sat on the edge of his bed, gripping onto the sheets with fear. he wants to tell you how he feels. i mean, you could potentially have feelings for him too right? theres no way a doctor is this nice to their patients unless theres one reasonable explanation. you like him too.

"yes hyo?" you didnt look up from your clipboard, jolting down some notes and writing some important details. you can hear some slight hesitation in chigiris words. but didnt really pay no attention to it.

"please just...listen...i..think...no scratch that..i know i have feelings for you." he would rub the back of his neck, slowly trailing his gaze from the ground to your eyes. he hated being vulnerable but for you, and for this opportunity, he couldnt waste it. he loved you so much.

you can only just stare at him dumbfounded, your pen dropping to the floor. you didnt expect him to openly express his feelings. you didnt even think he would have feelings for you. he most of the time had a stoic face to him, it was kind of hard to read him, but you still got through him.

you struggle to say the words you want to say. youre an extreme people pleaser and youd hate to hurt another patients feelings. "im glad youre aware hyo, but as your doctor, its a built on trust on your healing process. if i crossed that line, id be failing you. i wont dismiss or disregard your feelings like its nothing, youre important to me and i care deeply about you." you frown at him and you can see his eyes lower as his lips quivered.

you figured hed try and undestand, but he just persist, and it maybe fueled his anger. "so...thats it? just because...of some fucking stupid rule? is this your excuse? just fucking tell me you dont love me. at least make an exception! for me!" he lashed out and you kind of get scared. youve never seen him raise his voice at you. he hyperventilates as he continues with his fuel.

"you cant just tell me, just because youre my doctor...youre telling me we didnt have a thing going on? because it sure as hell didnt feel that way. i cant just pretend youre werent the only person who truly understood me! tell me...how to do that." he walked up to you, hovering over your figure.

you didnt dare to look at him, knowing youd be met with his cold gaze. you just bit your lip and clutched your clipboard in anticipation. until he took hold of your shoulders leaning down to your level and meet your eyes.

"fucking tell me [name]!" his eyebrows furrowed as his teeth grit. youre so scared, you feel threatened, but youre not sure what to do, hes much stronger than you. theres nothing you can do in this situation.

when he sees your trembling figure, he loosen his grip on you and sighed. hesitantly wrapping his arms around your neck when he sees you wince a bit. he soften a bits before letting out a content sigh.

"'m so sorry...didnt mean to... i love you, you know that...?"

patient #4: itoshi rin.

the brother of itoshi sae, itoshi rin. you could of swore you treated to itoshi sae once. but thats for another story. judging by his actions, you think hes suffering from depression.

this patient sure was a bit difficult. he rarely talks about his feelings. instead its mostly hatred he expresses it as. hes always talking to himself, "its not enough.." repeatedly you dont even know if hes aware youre still in his presence.

when he wants to get away from the suffering, he fixates on sae. he hates the way sae just did him like that, seriously his only goal was to play football to become the second best aside sae. now he wanted to change? he doesnt matter in saes life anymore? how could he. how fucking dare he.

he cant express his sadness so easily. even if he tried to, it turns into anger, lashing out on others. but he doesnt mean it, it just happens. he doesnt mean to push others way.

hes so harsh on himself, he thinks every loss granted feels like a personal failure, making him hate himself even more. when you had first tried to help him, he could only scoff to himself. "dont ask me stupid questions." you kind of cried from that harsh tone but dealt with it (www).

hes always keeping his distance. hes so focused on winning, he barely express genuine joy and rarely smiles. but its not like he wants to. he wants to prove himself the best of the best, after what had happened with his big brother. hes terrified of being betrayed again. he cant just let people walk into his life, just to be betrayed.

he will never allow himself to feel good enough. every failure and loss of his will only increase his self-loathing. he pushes himself, pass his limit, to the point hes at the passing out point. but he must do what he must, hell never rest. you know his excessive training? he thinks for not being strong enough hell punish himself with it. thats why hes so well built.

hell never waste time, meaning he runs to little to no sleep. how could he when he has people to exceed. he must train harder than ever before, push his limits. when you question why he does that he gives you an annoyed glance. (makes you cry on the inside) "only the weak rest. i dont have time for that."

he cant ever forget that night. how could he? its a wound hes not able to stich up. rin hates sae, but on the look of his eyes, he yearns for saes validation. it only fuels when he praised isagi. shattering rins heart. he cant stand it anymore.

no matter how much he can do, hell never be better than sae, he never feels enough. he thinks the reason why sae is gone is because hes too weak, it hurts, it really fucking does.

though rin was a difficult patient to get a hold of, you never had the thought to give up, everyone has their breaking point, even for someone like rin. youd be so patient with him, even if it felt like everyday was a failure to try to get him to open up.

rin hates how persistent you are. he hates being vulnerable towards others. but you never shut up do you? why cant you just give up. but this feels all too familiar. still persistent yet no where close to the main goal. he can only punch the wall, leaving a hole in the room hes assigned in.

you think the most effective way to help him was to challenge his toxic thought patterns by questions. "if you think losing makes you worthless, why do people respect those who lose but improve?"

rin can only halt for a moment and rethink his harsh self judgement. he tries something to counter it, but nothing comes to mind at first.

rin never directly told you, but you can imply someone important has either left him or betrayed him of some sort. was a friend? girlfriend? parental figure of some sort? youre not sure.

"who is this person you wish to surpass? i noticed you tend to say "i will destroy him." you had hope this could maybe expose his intentions? but rin only scoff.

"that man...i swear ill destroy him hell regret everything he said to me that night.!" he raised his voice. honestly you dont know who else can it be.

"is it perhaps your older brother, itoshi sae?" and his ears perked up. you notice his change of behavior. guessing it was him. "why did sae leave you?"

"theres nothing to talk about."

"then...just hearing his name, why does it make you angry? if he didnt matter, you wouldnt care." and rin cant even run away from his feelings. he knew he had to confront them sooner or later.

rin only knows how to push himself, he doesnt have any healthy coping mechanisms. poor boy. rin would sometimes refuse to talk to you, only resulting to telling to him to write down his feelings to realize whats going on and see that hes actually harming himself.

as he writes his feelings down, he starts to read aloud what he writes to you and your heart lights up, youre so happy hes able to warm up to you even after a whopping of two weeks. once you validate his feelings, he finally learns...maybe allowing being able to express himself doesn't make him feel weak.

though you did need to help his other unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as not getting enough sleep and punishing himself for being so "weak". youd give him advice to try an improve those coping methods. "if youre trying to improve yourself please dont push yourself. you need to recover too. you need to take care of yourself okay? in order to beat sae." at least to match up with his goals to motivate him to change his unhealthy ways.

rin generally thought of you just as a doctor who has to tolerate with his issues. hes emotionally distant and refuse to acknowledge any pain or feelings. but just seeing your ways of helping him puts him in a sense of comfort.

youre always calm and non-judgmental, someting rin isnt used to, due to the environment hes in and because of his brother. with you around he feels like he can slowly open up. not fully but just...slowly.

the more he talks about sae, the more he expresses his struggles. throughout his whole life he was incapable of expressing himself, but with you around, you create that space for him to open himself more.

the more and more he talks, he doesnt even realize it himself. he just lets himself go, is it because youre here? he feels like time goes by fast when hes with you. he finds...comfort within you.

as your job, youre always here to remind him to care for himself, something he heavily struggles with. whenever he seems to be so stressed out, you give him the upmost attention which rin doesnt realize he likes when youre showing your concern for him. at first he feels its weird when he receives your comfort, but he lets down his guard with you within time.

sometimes when he realizes hes becoming too close to you, he wants to push you away. well he does. when youre trying to pry his feelings out, he just makes excuses to end the session early, or just refuse to talk to you.

even with his refusal you dont give up on him, which is what he hates. whenever you keep up at it, he feels sting at his chest. he cant even describe what he feels. was this a bad feeling? good? scared? he cant get a hold of it.

its subtle but he does show he cares for you too. he would notice the eyebags under your eyes and the way you would slur your words a bit in sessions. hed only get a bit ticked off, "stop pushing yourself so hard. its annoying seeing you like this." honestly its so unexpected of him, but you just figured hed want a more professional doctor instead of a tired one.

sometimes when he does catch on with what he does, he tries to distance himself, skipping sessions to see if the feeling will go away. but it only worsens and lingers, he wants--no, needs to see you.

at a session, he does seem to be uncooperative, not like its anything new, but you do see that somethings been on his mind. you wonder what could it be. "everything alright rin? you seem to be on edge today. whats bothering you?" you cross your legs tapping on your clipboard.

rin can only scoff with his jaw clenched. just seeing you made him even more frustrated. "obviously. you." you halt your movements in confusion, oh no did you do something wrong as his doctor?

"me? im sorry can you recall what you dislike?" you leaned back on your chair in anticipation of his response. "i hate it. its confusing. i dont get why i always think of you. why i feel like i cant stand being here, but also the idea of not coming back. i dont know anymore. everytime i leave this room, its like i leave something behind. and i dont want to go." clenching his fist as his gaze falls to the floor.

you think hes just expressing his frustration, only until his words hit you cold. "its more than that. I-" you cut him off. you already knew what was to come. "rin please. i care about you, but i cant be that person for you. i am only here to better your wellbeing."

he didnt like that answer. it only fueled his anger in fact. slamming the table in front of him before angrily scurrying off. "rin!" you called out to him, but hes already left your office. you can only sigh frustratingly before continuing to note down some information.

its late at night. and your up in your office, just up to finish some work for the other 10 patients you need to tend to....its such hard work! only until someone opened your door and it was so unexpected you jumped. but its only rin, and you sighed. "rin? your session was over hours ago."

he can only click his tongue before walking up to your desk. "i needed to talk." he says with his stoic face. "you know its late, i cant make exceptions." now standing in front of your desk, the only light that emitted was from the door, and the white from the computer screen. "you do it for other patients." he shifts his gaze to the side.

"rin, if its about that-i care about you as my patient, but thats all there is to it." "i know." you frown, you hated confronting your patients, it always felt so mean but you had to! "then why are you still here?" rin can only clench his fist. "because i dont believe you."

his eyes flickered with determination and desperation as he grits his teeth. "if you didnt feel the same, you wouldnt care this much. i know it. i know you can feel it too, dont you?" he really did try to make you admit you did have feelings for him. you dont even know what to do anymore! "you treat me different than others."

"i treat my all my patients equally."

"liar. you hesitate when you look at me. you dont do that with others! i know how you look at me." he kept eye contact with you, slowly walking to your figure.

"Rin-"

"youre scared how i make you feel." he interrupted. "you think you know how i feel. but i know exactly what it is." his arm would reach out to caress your cheek, but you grip is wrist. his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

"rin, i care about you a lot than you think, but not in the way you want me to!" but he could only swat your hand away before taking hold of your cheeks, as he forces you to stare at his teal eyes.

"liar. i know you feel it. the connection we have. its stronger than any other patient you have." he closes in. you turn to face the other direction, avoiding his ways with you.

"stop refusing me already! look at me." he whispered to you, in a calmer tone to convince you. but his patient wears thin. he was always impatient. "i said look at me!" forcing you to look at his eyes. fear in your eyes, youre scared he might hurt you at this point.

"thats a better look for you." eyeing your lips, he feels some sort of excitement, that flow. your lips quivered, but its okay, rin will comfort you now, its to repay you back for everything youve done for him.

he leans in kissing you. his knee rested in between the negative spot in the chair, as his arms rests on the sides.

"see..? this kiss proves our connection."

patient #4: mikage reo.

from the mikage corp, reo mikage. for such a once bright person hes so gloomy and unmotivated now. hes always talking about your other patient named nagi seishiro. was there some sort of conflict between the two? the way he talks about him leaving, it seems like he has dependent personality disorder.

reos entire motivation for football intiailly revolved around nagi it seems. he always believed they could achieve such greatness together and that nagi was his treasure. he fixates a lot on their relationship and uses that to define his own worth.

but thats when his whole world shattered when he left him for isagi. really, was he not good enough in nagis eyes to partner up with him? he struggles to cope after that whole event. hes not confident in his ability alone, and refers himself nagis partner only, not as a person himself.

you know how he lost to isagi and nagi? and when nagi didnt choose him? he panics so much when nagi chooses to move on without him. he feels lost and betrayed. why didnt he choose him? the way he pleaded nagi just shows the fear of him being left behind. he doesnt want to succeed by himself, he wants--no...needs to do it with someone by his side.

observing reo more, he seems more of a follower than a leader himself. always relying on nagi rather than himself as a striker while lacking the self confidence without his partner. he feels as if hes not enough on his own. showing that part of his dependency needs.

he feels distressed when he thinks nagi will leave him behind and abandon him. he doesnt know how, but he just wants to keep nagi close to him. he was always perfect with everything, but he cant even keep his relationship perfect with nagi.

he needs nagis guidance in order to succeed, whenever out in the field, he looks for nagi for confirmation or approval of some sort. showing that lack of confidence in his own judgement.

he does have goals of his own, but he buts his own needs behind nagis. he finds nagis well being more important than his, he sacrifices his needs to make sure nagi feels secure, even neglecting his own desires. he lets nagi take control of situations because hes scared getting into conflict with nagi :(

taking all of this, you figured why not focus on increasing his self-confidence and help with emotional stability! though you did know this would be a difficult challenge as a lot of people struggle with that.

his biggest issue would be his worth and purpose to other people, which in this case was nagi...you would help work on building a sense of self outside of relationships! you would try to make reo aware of his dependency on others and talk about his own strengths when playing football, or just any personal achievements since he was good at anything.

you encourage him to make decisions alone! you start off small though, since nagi isnt there to decide for him, you think it will help build that individualism. you ask for what kind of meal would he like to eat, not what nagi would want. and then youd start with what would he want to do after he has won the world cup. something along the lines of that!

you do take note on what he told you how he felt during nagis "betrayal", you do believe he has a fear of abandonment. so you would try to suggest and develop coping mechanisms for him! you would try to prove to himself he can handle it, control is emotions, and communicate his needs without fear!

you teach him to set boundaries, so he isnt so dependent on one person or fixate on it. but you feel like you just made it worse.

hes never received such emotional support for his feelings, he thinks the way you treat him like hes so delicate makes him feels such things. youre one of the first people to listen to him, guide him, and see him more than just the mikage kid from a rich family who can do anything. but you see the side where hes most vulnerable.

he feels less alone venting his emotions to you, he develops that attachment. somewhere close where nagi lies.

he loves your reassurance that you give when he tries to work on his independency. but its not like you do that to make him rely on you, you just want him to be more confident in his healing progress! "Reo, you can do this, you dont need anyone to be strong." youd flash that sweet smile of yours and he gives you a soft look. "you really think so..?"

the more time you guys connect, the more he just sees you more that go beyond that patient-doctor bond. he admires the way you talk, the way you comfort him, and your sweet smile. hed always be in a trance when you speak because your voice is so soft, sometimes he doesnt even realize you asked him a questioned and youd have to shake him to come back to reality.

"reo? you okay?" you raised your eyebrow in confusion and concern. but hed only be startled, avoiding your gaze. "y-yes...just thinking." hed cover his mouth with his hand with such a flushed face. just from that moment, hes not just attached, but in love.

but hed always tried to reject that possibility. no no, hes not in love, he just really appreciate you for trying your best to help him...yeah thats it. he justifies his feeling as you just doing your job and you help him a lot. like when hed want to talk to you more often than scheduled sessions...or when youre so kind to him. sure everyones been super friendly with him, but you were just so different from others.

finishing up your session you click your pen and settle down your clipboard. "reo, youre making such great progress! you should be proud of yourself!" you clasped your hand together with that cheery face of yours. reo really didnt care about feeling better anymore. he just wanted to be with you at all times. sometimes he might even slip up to make his feelings for you obvious, but your naive self just take it as him still in the healing process.

he wouldnt want to try and make it obvious, but how could he make it known that he did love you? ah, thats right. money! hes rich, he can basically use that as a way to win your affection, its worked on others, itll work on you too.

at first hed test the waters, buying you such expensive gifts that not even you can afford or would even have thought of buying. designer clothes, watches, or some sort of vacation, telling you that you deserve a break from your hard work. (the trip will just be you and him www).

hell donate to the clinic, he tells your family members to keep it a secret from you because he doesnt want you to know hes funding your workplace, youd probably just try to refuse the money, but he just wants to make your life easier! and by that...he also wants to help with any bills you have under your name or debts you need to pay off like medical school.

he thinks its his way of showing his newfound "love" to you. everybody loves money dont they? its perfect. whenever hed suggest giving you an abundance of money, you just refuse, shaking your head.

"reo, i cant accept this," youd frown while crossing your arms.

hed get nervous from the way you react, why are you rejecting his money? no one ever has. "just let me do something nice for you. its a way of repaying back." hed laughed it off, but hes so scared you might catch on. whenever you reject his gifts, he gets so frustrated. he thinks even his money isnt enough for you. or was he, himself whole wasnt enough?

if you werent going to tend to his advances, he might as well just...say it to you right? hed gaslight himself into thinking maybe you wanted him to directly say it, maybe thats why you refused to take anything from him.

"alright reo, thank you for your time today! im glad to see you almost in shape and youll back to blue lock!" seeing you stand up from your chair, hed take hold of your wrist, not budging.

"[n-name]...i know this is very sudden. but." he stopped in his tracks, standing up looking down at your figure before taking both of your hands in his. hed inhale a breath before making eye contact with you again.

"i see you more as my doctor [name]. you make me feel like i could be the person i truly want to be..." hed caress your hands with his thumb. he thinks he just made it worse for the both of you. the silence is heavy as you stare at him in disbelief.

"im glad i can provide that space for you reo, but you cannot do this, nor can i accept any of the gifts you give me." reo can only frown, his desperation clearly showing.

"why? because im just a patient to your eyes? i can be more than that. you can quit your job and ill provide the money for you. you and your family!" he tightens his hold on you and his look is pleading. but you can only shake your head in refusal. "i must remain professional reo."

after that confession reo would pretend like hes fine, but thats because he was embarrassed and sadden. but its not like hed give up, he just wanted to give off the impression that he didnt care, but he did.

"to think someone could reject me, its refreshing." hed smile it off but you can only sigh, it just seems like hes trying to remind you of that.

he thinks to himself that if expensive gifts wont work on you, hed switch to personalized ones. like a favorite show you mentioned, he would buy merch and give it to you. or if you mentioned a book you wanted to read but never had the time to go buy it, hed buy it for you alright.

hed try to make it hard for you to completely cut him off by just spending an abundance amount on the funds, donations or buying out your workplace...

hes always offering to help, but even when you did refuse hed just play it off as being generous, but really he just doesnt want to give up on you.

he resorts to more desperate measures without even realizing it. "youre the only person who sees who i really am. if you leave too...whats left of me..?" hed caress your hand with his thumbs. lifting the hand to give a sweet gentle kiss to it.

"reo, you have to learn how-" he cuts you off, pulling you in to take hold of your waist.

"why do you fight so much? you care about me, i know you do!" your hands lay on his chest to try and push him off, but he wouldnt budge even a bit! "not in the way you want me to reo. youre my patient." hed stay silent for a bit, biting his lips from your response until blood was drawn. only to let out a bitter laugh.

"so im just another patient for you? just another worthless being you have to fix?!" hed squeeze you tighter, until your bodies connected. "youre not worthless reo. and youre important to me, but it isnt right to do this." youd frown hoping he can finally understand the situation hes in right now.

"then why does it feel like youre the only thing keeping me together..?" hed rest his forehead on your shoulder with his voice cracking. "please. just let me love you. youre my treasure."

this took forever to write and think out i hope it is okay to you guys! since it is not smut i feel like it will flop ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

[n0odlz]

NCC x ETC Headcanons

(No, these are not romantic (눈‸눈)

✦Family Ties

Bill & Aaron

• Do NOT let these 2 near each other. It's only gonna cause trouble for everyone. Christmas dinners? Tuh, as if! Thanksgiving? Forget about it. Heck, even a family trip to the water park! Just go ahead and check that off the list right now..

• Bill and Aaron are cousins, which was only found out after Bill and Aaron got into some huge fight about comics and how underpaid the artists are. Somehow, Mrs. Dickey got ahold of this information and immediately told Bill they were related.

"William, that is your cousin! You two should not be fighting."

"Mom, WHAT? I-... I-.. YOU- YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! "

"Enough, William. I don't have time for your bullshit, especially since we'll be having a family get together this Friday. Don't want your aunts thinking I'm a failure of a mother, do ya?"

• Aaron is obviously older. And you'd think any time something goes wrong, the adults would blame it on him since he knows better. Nope! It's always Bill since Aaron could do no wrong 😇!!1! 11

• The only reason they could ever like or admire each other is because they both lead clubs. Aaron is the whole reason Bill even started the Eltingville Club and any time Aaron brings up the fact that he was totally inspired by his older cousin, Bill denies it with his whole heart.

Jerry & James

• They're brothers! How cute! Well.. No! Maybe when they were kids- actually, no. They've been arguing pretty much their whole life. Probably worse than Bill and Aaron. They're cousins, so they don't even see each other that much. Jerry and James is a WHOLE other story.

• Every fight starts because James is "Older and stronger" and there's nothing Jerry can do about it. James being such an asshole is what made Jerry into one too, no matter how much their parents tried to intervene, nothing would work.

• "Extract the problem" is what Jerry's therapist would say, but how can you extract the problem when you're literally forced to live with it till you're 18? Guess you'll just have to tough it out then, huh?

• (Based on what Mr. Dorkin said) Jerry would've probably turned out fine with a brother. He wouldn't have needed to hang out with the club as much (or at all). But that would only be if he had a little brother. See, little siblings would be easier to handle, especially since they're still growing. They're small and easy to train like a puppy, they've got no real interests or personality so it'd be up to the older sibling to influence them in the way they want! Now older siblings? Don't even think about it. "Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?" Well unfortunately, James isn't a dog. And he can't be taught new tricks either.

• If you're wondering why these two have different last names, don't worry, their mom is not a cheater 😸!! Their mom and dad couldn't decide who's last name to give the kids so they decided to give Jerry his mother's maiden name and James their dad's last name

• James obviously makes the million year old "ur adopted lmao" joke on Jerry just because he doesn't have the same last name as everyone else in their family. At some point when they were younger, James SOMEHOW convinced Jerry he was genuinely adopted. I mean.. How the hell do you even pull that off? THEY LOOK IDENTICAL!! DOWN TO THAT FUCK ASS BOB 💔

─────────ೋღღೋ─────────

This is HEAVILY inspired by what anon said in this post (anon, if you come across this post YOU'RE VERY INSPIRATIONAL)

(Also where I got the Jerry sibling thing from)

[481mclarg]

Male reader who's been inlove with lando since they were in diapers (their moms are bffs) and lando who's the only one to not know about readers love, its years before lando (year before oscar gets into mclaren) who has an inkling about how reader feels about him, he brushes it off thinking its nothing but does take advantage with the info that reader would basically do stuff for him if lando asked (max f was the one who pointed out reader does this hoping that theyd put him out of his misery and date already) (lando doesn't do it very often, uses it to get reader to change plans for flights so they can go where lando wants to go or guilt reader into coming to his races when he should really be focusing on college things and the like *also note that before that year he use to do it too even if he didn't know it*), it goes on like that with lando taking advantage of readers love and kindness till reader 3/4 of the 2023 season in, reader ever so slightly separates himself from lando giving him excuses like a lot of projects to catch up on or saying that his phone had died since he was craming for an important test and by the end of the season reader and lando aren't speaking this follows till next season (not counting the times their familys force them together unknowingly, lando during these outings is really just talking to himself with reader just nodding and hmming at certain points) where lando invites reader along with both their familys to watch him race, reader cant really say no since classes have barely started for him and this is where oscar comes in reader who is very much still trying to get over lando meets oscar and is just blushing up a storm with how subtle oscars flirting is, lando who turns to talk to reader see's this and his face suddenly looks like it bit into a lemon with this weird feeling in his gut when he see them exchange numbers this basically leads to lando thinking he's jealous of reader getting along with his teammate so well (really its the other way around) so lando makes it his mission to get to know his teammate better (since they've only spent a year as teammates) which leads to him falling inlove with oscar (even with his unresolved feels for reader) which he realizes 2 races after the halfway point of the season, he also doesn't realize that oscar and reader have been really close till it comes out their in a relationship, which makes lando hella conflicted because he thinks their hot together and because he was hopeing to get with oscar himself (hopeing to get with reader too but he's ignoring those feelings) anyway in the transition from the 2024 season to the 2025 season lando comes to the realization that he and male reader haven't spoken since that last family function he attended, which leads to him realizing readers been inlove with him and vice-versa, which leads to them making up but reader is happy with oscar so he won't cheat on him with lando or ask oscar if he wants to add a third its not till oscar asks reader if he's still inlove with lando and reader looks at him shocked and then like a kicked puppy when he says yes which reader goes on to ramble that he wouldn't cheat on oscar in which in that moment oscar kisses him to shut him up which ends up with lando be tentatively added to the relationship in 2025.

–🍑

✶ I do. Me too. Me three.

"Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?"

                                                                                "Yeah"

★ Lando Norris × Childhood Friend Male Reader || OP81 × Male Reader × LN4

☆ idiots in love (but the idiot is Lando) (reader is pretty idiot too) (Oscar is chill). || WC: 3114.

Warning: idk how to label this. it's like friends to not speaking to lovers (oscar ver.) to lando being a confused wet cat to lovers³ & there's a tweet too. (my god this is long asf I didn't notice it was that long)

« K » Sorry for the delay. Surgeries r more painful than I expected. But I make this long kinda compensation? (In fact, it's just bc I love landoscar × reader).

🍴 you, oscar & lando fr.

I hope yall enjoy it :)

          Your family has always been friends with the Norris. Your mother has been friends with Cisca since they were young. You grew up with Lando, best friends since birth.

          Always by his side during karting, spending your weekends watching him or the Formula 1 races, dreaming about seeing him on the grid. Always together for everything.

          No one knew you like he did, though there was one secret you were never able to tell him. You were in love with him.

          Even if it's something obvious from almost everyone around you two, Lando never seemed to notice.

          You didn't know how to feel. Some days, you wanted him to notice, wanting to be around him as much time as possible. Other days, you just wanted to disappear, to forget him and your love.

          At some point, you were so obvious, trying to make him understand. He started to think it was strange how close you were with him. Like, there was something different. You have bad news for him? A secret? You get yourself in trouble? Want to ask for a huge favor? Do you want something now that he's an F1 driver?

          Anyways, he was happy because you accepted anything he said. He wants something? You could get it for him and even pay for that. You were so in love, trying with all your strength to make him realize how you are feeling.

          Your grades get lower and lower, even missing some classes because Lando asked you to travel with him. You tried to focus on the happiness and enjoy the vacations, even if you have to ask your classmates for the homework or some notes.

          The only one who was witness of all this was Max Fewtrell. Friend with you two since karting, Max was the closest person who actually knows about your feelings and talks about it.

          He encouraged you to confess, and you were pretty sure he talked with Lando too, but those talks never came to anything.

          In fact, Max wasn't as subtle as you were thinking. He literally said to Lando how obvious your crush on him was, asking why you two aren't dating already. Lando ignored it, following what had already become a routine for you.

          A routine that you repeat until August. You were tired, every flight, every favor, every event or race you attend with him. August was the first time you actually denied one of his plans.

          "Sorry, I need to stay at home and finish a really important project." It felt... liberating. Refusing to keep running behind him and spending the weekend on yourself.

          You finally had some time for yourself again. To think about yourself, your life, your studies... About whatever you wanted.

          That weekend opened your eyes to everything you were missing by chasing someone who was living his life just fine without you around.

          What started as excuses about not being able to go out together because of homework or projects began to turn into lies about having to turn off your phone in class or being in exams so you couldn't answer his calls or texts.

          You used to share all your schedules with him... Maybe he never cared about you after all?

          You two only see each other at those dinners organized by your mothers, who had no idea what was going on between you.

          Your families continued watching the two boys who spent hours talking to each other, without paying attention to the fact that only Lando filled the silence, while you buried your face in your plate, wishing it was time to leave or being able to excuse yourself with being sleepy if were at your house, so you could disappear into your room.

          Lando, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice the changes either. Or rather, he insisted that you maintain the dynamic that you had sustained for so many years.

          That's why he decided to invite you and your family to the Australian GP.

          He knew that you love all the Australian GP vibes. The people, the circuit, the story. Australia is truly special to you.

          Maybe, starting this weekend, it will be a little more so...

          In 2023, you never had the time to sit and have a good time at a Grand Prix, but this year, you decided to enjoy a short vacation with your family. So you found out about everything McLaren was preparing for that GP since they had an Australian on the team.

          Oscar Piastri. You obviously knew about him, but you hadn't had the opportunity to meet him in person or talk to him.

          Until that weekend, Oscar was simply Lando's teammate. Someone your friend mentioned occasionally when talking, someone you only saw in Instagram photos and on telly. Someone you thought was much more serious and reserved. But that weekend, any previous notions of Oscar were shattered by the Australian himself.

          He seemed a little nervous when he came to introduce himself to you and your family, but when you two had a few minutes alone after qualifying, he was much sweeter, more talkative, and... flirty?

          You didn't know if it was your imagination, but on Sunday morning, the situation was similar, with Oscar talking to you and even suggesting having dinner together after the race or something.

          You can't say no to that. Oscar was so nice with you, so sweet, so... what you needed.

          Then, you two exchange numbers.

"You can go back to your hotel and think about the plan. Call me when you make a decision. "

          You could decide if you didn't want to go? Wasn't dinner a plan you couldn't refuse?

          The families were happy, thinking the three of you would be friends— Lando didn't seem to like the fact that you were talking to his teammate.

          He hated it, hated seeing you two together. Why did you talk so much? Why does it bother him so much?

          Is he... jealous?

          Lando didn't understand; he didn't know why he felt that way. Why did it suddenly bother him that you were talking to his teammate? Why would he be jealous?

          Things at McLaren had been complicated lately; Lando's mind was a mess. He decided to blame it all on those problems, settling for the belief that he was jealous that you got along so well with his teammate.

          Yeah, that must be it. Not because his teammate seems more like your friend than he is. Nah.

          That led Lando to decide he's going to be the closest with Oscar. In his mind, all this plan to become Oscar's best friend before you make sense— Well, he didn't want to think about it much before putting it into practice.

          The whole situation was weird for the three of you.

          Lando was no longer asking you to travel with him. He even suggested you stay home to focus on your studies. Instead, he was trying to spend all that time with Oscar, under the guise of bonding so the teamwork would be better (since McLaren decided on this strange philosophy of not benefit one over the other, only to end up messing both strategies).

          Meanwhile, Oscar and you keep in touch through text, sometimes mentioning how strange Lando's behavior seemed to you (with whom, by the way, you had almost lost contact).

          You weren't sure how to feel; none of the three of you were. You had talked to Oscar about your feelings for Lando, but by mid-year, you didn't believe you still had those feelings for him.

          Oscar was very clear about what he wanted from the start, and he let you know, and that he would respect your timing and decisions. He didn't want to force you into anything, nor did he want to be a replacement just because you couldn't be with Lando. It wasn't fair to any of you.

          The real problem came after the Dutch Grand Prix. Lando was confused about his own feelings, having to deal not only with the hate but also with his newfound crush on Oscar and that strange feeling toward you. He cannot put a name to what he feels. Guilt? Is it still jealousy? Nostalgia? Sadness?

          God.

          Had he fallen in love with Oscar? How had that happened? He wanted to be closer to him, yes, but—not like this.

          What should he do now? Should he tell Oscar about his feelings? Hide them? Pretend he couldn't stop thinking about you too? Well, that was all he was doing, although he found himself bringing your name up in conversations with Oscar more than once, so he could ask about you, since you two hadn't been talking lately.

          Oh!

          Since when are you two THAT close?

          How did he never notice? How did it happen? When? How did he never consider the possibility of you two dating? How could he have set his sights on getting to know Oscar better and missed such an important detail as whom he was dating?

          The worst part is... he didn't feel sad.

          Or not the way he'd expect to feel after finding out his crush is dating someone else, his ex-childhood best friend. It's like, yeah, he's upset because he wants Oscar for himself, but... you two seem so good together.

          Lando has known you your whole life, and he knows there's probably no one better in the world for you than Oscar. He can't blame you for falling for him if he himself recognizes all his positive traits and wants to embrace those that aren't so good—even though they seem nonexistent.

          It got to the point where even he wasn't sure which of you was his crush. He felt like an idiot looking at the two of you, watching you talk to each other from afar, one moment wishing he was you so he could be with Oscar, and the other, even more confusingly, wishing he was Oscar so he could be with you.

          Since when did he feel this way about you too? He was exhausted.

           Thank God winter break arrived, leaving him a couple of months free from worrying about the team, races, and all related to work.

           It was then that he realized that, amidst his internal drama, he'd stopped talking to you both. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a conversation with you, probably since the last dinner your mothers organized... more than half a year ago? Shit.

          He couldn't stop thinking about how such a long-standing friendship as yours had been ruined, how he'd lost his half-best friend/half-crush because he was an idiot. How you had forgotten all those innocent childhood promises of being lifelong friends, just like your mothers.

          He needed to fix that. He needed to have his best friend back in his life, no matter who you were dating. Before you were Oscar's boyfriend, you were his friend, he wants to get that back.

Lando: are u coming to the nxt dinner at our house? You: I don't know yet Lando: Can u pls come? I want to talk

          Him asking you to please come seemed strange to you. What did he want to talk about?

          You were nervous, not only Lando but your parents expected you to go, since you'd missed so many of these functions. You were busier with classes or hanging out with Oscar than spending time with your family.

          You arrived, not knowing what to expect, texting Oscar to try to distract yourself from the nervousness while you waited for Lando to stop staring at you from across the table and finally come over and talk to you.

          He was nervous too, it was so obvious.

          In the end, after a couple texts with Max Fewtrell telling him to sort things out once and for all, he managed to gather the courage and approach you.

"I'm sorry." "Why?" "I— Uhm... I don't know." "Huh." "No. Wait. I mean—"

          After all, everything turned out better than you expected. Lando was able to explain what he thought about your friendship and apologize for how things had turned out over the past few years, acknowledging his mistakes and wanting to know if you would let him fix things.

          It caught you off guard, no doubt, but you appreciated it. You had that nagging feeling of having left things unresolved with him, and even if you could say you'd managed to forget completely the feelings you had for him, now you felt like you were healing that wound.

          When you told Oscar about this, he was happy for you. He knew the history of your friendship, and he was more than happy that you could feel happy and truly comfortable in the McLaren garage again.

          Nothing made him happier than seeing his boyfriend & his teammate friend be friends again.

          What didn't go unnoticed by Oscar was that not only did your friendship return, but also the affection you had for Lando.

          During the conversation you had with Lando, he also finally came to understand that what he felt was love, and you hinted to him that you'd been in love with him your whole life.

          Your whole life, until Oscar came along.

          This discouraged him, and he continued to distance himself a little. You didn't find it really strange; you thought you two were just rebuilding trust, but Oscar could tell there was something else going on.

          You were happy with Oscar, and cheating on him never crossed your mind, but there was something in your heart that kept bothering you.

          From Oscar's point of view, Lando looked like a wet cat waiting for someone to come and give him some affection, while you looked at him with pity, hoping Oscar would give you permission to bring him with you.

"You still like Lando, right?" "Huh" "It's obvious you still like him" "Sorry— I still love you too— It's weird to explain—" "I like him too" "HUH"

          You tried to give him some explanation, reiterating several times between babbles that you still love him, and that you don't know what to do because you don't want to lose him, but you also don't think it's fair to have feelings for someone else, for his teammate, your best friend, and because of the history that Lando and you have and—

"You kissed me" "You were mumbling too much, I don't think even you understood what you were saying" "I just told you that I like Lando" "And I think I like him too" "But I still like you, Osc" "And I still like you too"

          A long conversation followed, where you two questioned each other about everything from how was it possible that you two were in love with the same person at the same time to why Oscar was bringing up this topic right after the Australian Grand Prix.

          Like, yeah, his home race sucked for him, but how could he move on so quickly?

          Anyway, it took you two a couple of days to figure out what to do next and understand what would happen to the relationship and what you were about to propose to Lando.

          You didn't consider it an end, and things between the two of you weren't going to change. It was more like… continue what you had started. You believed that even if you two hadn't started dating, you would have gotten to this point anyway.

          The Japanese Grand Prix was the chosen one. More because you couldn't wait any longer than out of convenience. You two couldn't stand seeing Lando keep getting discouraged and forcing himself to draw the line with you both.

          You tried to find a convenient time, although it was difficult considering how little free time they had. Next up was Bahrain, a country you weren't traveling to, so you wanted to hurry up and have the talk that same weekend.

          You also didn't think you two could endure another week without clearing things up.

          In the end, the moment presented itself at the most inopportune moment, the one you had said you would avoid so as not to add pressure during the race or qualy. Saturday morning.

          "At least it wasn't on Sunday", Oscar thought as a consolation, while he watched you panic about the direction your conversation with Lando was taking.

          The three of you were in Oscar's hotel room when Lando started talking about you as a couple after you mentioned an activity you wanted the three of you to go to.

"You should go alone. Couples usually go there." "It's okay, Lando. We can go together." "No, seriously. I… I think I should stop joining all your couples' plans, you know." "We like it when you join us, Lan." "I know, but— I don't think it's good… I— My feelings..." "Lando..." "I don't want to— Sometimes it hurts to see you together. I know there's no hope, but—"

          Oscar made him shut up the best way he knew how.

          Lando watched you in horror as Oscar pulled away from him, and before he could put enough words together to form a single apology for you or a question for Oscar, you kissed him too.

"You can join as many couples plans as you want, Lan."

          Since then, Lando never left your side, spending time cuddling and clingling you both, if you couldn't all squeeze in together wherever you went or while you were at college.

          McLaren's strange strategies and bad race results no longer affected him as much as they used to because he knew he would always have a boyfriend available to cuddle up with and cheer him up.

          Which sometimes meant double work for you, but you really enjoyed having them both with you, so you wouldn't complain. That also means double celebration, and it tends to happen very often lately, so everyone enjoys it.

          Although it can be a little tiring at times, you wouldn't change them for anything in the world.

          They also enjoyed spending time together much more, just as they enjoy spending time with you. Sometimes they're just there while you study, muttering things you've read in your notes or the texts on your assignments while you try to understand them, but they're a good support and a timer so you don't push yourself too hard.

          They make sure you take a few breaks a day to eat, drink, sleep, and kiss them a lot.

          You no longer skip classes or fall behind on projects. Finally feel at peace with yourself and your feelings, and you're happy to know that the two people you love love you back & each other too.

100 FOLLOWERS EVENT

481MCLARG | 01 . 04 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[fictionfixations]

OH MY GOD GUYS I GOT THE ANAKT GARDEN SET AHHHHHHHHHH

warning for major alnst spoilers ofc

I KEEP TAKING PHOTOS THE WRONG WAY AROUND 😭😭😭😭

okay im gonna summarize information

you get these id cards the main peeps of them their birthday blood type number signature fingerprint who their guardian is (i cant tell the difference between them on the card it looks the same to me but idk maybe its alien language)

and it also says what dorm theyre from

mizi till ivan and sua are in buru flower rooms although different ones

(all in buru flower room. sua is in x, till is in c, mizi is a, ivan is d)

meanwhile luka and hyuna are in different rooms which makes me believe its by like year(s) and based on when they graduate from anakt garden or something like that? i forget

according to an interview (of sua and ivan) they're from the 50th anakt garden class

hyuna is chala flower room a, and shes also the only one without a signature

interestingly enough luka is the only one without a letter after the room which i think is because of how im pretty sure hes like a clone or something? like like made and there were many others of 'him' that were made until they found the perfect him to use? im like 70% sure his guardian has also implied it or something in one of the interviews? i think it mightve been regarding either the top three or before luka vs till

i use a translator app and go through it and then (usually) mainly share ones about ivan (as hes my favorite) and include other interesting stuff that doesnt have to relate to him

also there will be some things i just dont mention

well ive only done it once and for like the art book lmfao but yEAH

i keep forgetting which page i read it from so this time im gonna write this post while looking through it to make it easier for me haha

skimming through it though i do see some stuff i think they've posted on the twitter and patreon before though i DO remember there was this one that was blurry and i think i saw it in full here

be warned translations may not always be 100% accurate cause for some reason i take a CLEAR photo of the text and then i take another but zoomed in to more specific parts of the text and it changes the translation so im just sat here like what why does having more context make it worse sob

(future me here what do you mean i can only translate 50 images a day 😭 maybe its my bad for taking so many pictures of the same part but sometimes it translates differently when i zoom into specific parts that make more sense so on parts im confused on i do that a lot)

also in the previous post i tried rephrasing it a lot but at this point its really not gonna work with this

Mizi (1) Her guardian sent a 'lullaby tape' and 'deep sea mood lamp' to help her sleep. She called it 'Shine' or something? I can't be 100% sure but she whined to a teacher about missing it and thus that was sent over.

Mizi/Sua (2) Sua helps Mizi study, and sometimes reads to her, and everytime she does it, "I feel she creates an unknown world for me."

Sua/Mizi (1) Sua was shy and didn't laugh much when entering Anakt Garden, but after meeting Mizi, she laughed a lot.

Sua (2) Children in the Anakt Garden have become more interested in the opposite sex. There are rumors among the children that there is "a tree that can succeed if you confess". Sua seems to be popular with boys as she often goes under the tree.

Sua & Ivan (3) Sua was chosen as an Outstanding Child alongside Ivan in Anakt Garden, an honorable title given to a child who sets an example for others every year. The two will be interviewed and included in ALIEN STAGE MAGAZINE VOL.2.

Sua (4) Recently, Sua's been practicing hard enough to stop crying(?). When asked why, Sua said, "I have to practice more because it's my dream to be on stage with Mizi."

😭i cant tell if its a mistranslation or if its a 'i know the truth about alnst so i want to practice not crying while on stage with her' or something

Till & Ivan (1) Today, Till fought with a new kid named Ivan. He is an aggressive child, so he needs regular education at home. Fortunately, Ivan has generously forgiven him, but I will do my best to prevent this from happening next time.

Till & Ivan (2) Till's theoretical grades have improved a lot! Practical tests are always perfect, but theories have always been weak. In particular, his grades in Religion and Music, which were his most vulnerable, have risen markedly. Is it because some kid has provoked Till recently? He's very competitive, so when he has an opponent he wants to win, he burns!

It's not stated but y'know I'd think it'd be Ivan 💀.

Ivan (1) Ivan is significantly less talkative than other children. He may have a slower language development than other children because he's adapting to a sudden change in environment.

Ivan (2) For an art class on the theme of "The Most Memorable Moment of Life", Ivan painted a sky full of shooting stars on the paper. Each star was drawn carefully, and his concentration was so focused it was like he was being sucked into the paper.

For that I'll refer to the scene back in Round 3 and my post on the artbook where it explained more on Ivan's thoughts and how the shooting stars meant to him it was

(10) in the slums, when being held over like the edge due to the anger of a dealer, he faced the fear of death at such a young age that it stuck with him, that death was always near him. the shooting stars that then appeared stayed with him unconsciously (the translation it gives me is “the ecstasy faced with death took place intensely in Ivan’s deep unconsciousness.”)

Ivan (3) He often observes his facial expressions in the pond before going to school in the morning. I feel the one translated on the patreon (free) has better translations but it only shows a few not all and I remember reading this one as one of the ones included.

Ivan (4) Although Ivan is mature for his age, he is the most childlike when he is with Till. (they fight a lot)

Hyuna (1) Hyuna is a child with gentle charisma. She has a high sense of responsibility, so she takes the lead as class president and takes the initiative in all activities. She does not hesitate to do good deeds, such as actively approaching children who do not fit in well with the Anakt Garden activities, and she is a role model for all children.

Hyuna (2) Hyuna, who loves singing, always sings in front of the children during compulsory playtime. Yesterday, she stood at the base of a tree and sang "Anakt's Lullaby" in an impromptu arrangement, and Hyuna's changed lullaby was popular at "Anakt Garden" for a while.

I've heard people theorize that Wiege is that lullaby.

Hyuna & Luka (3) Luka was hiding in a tree and looking at Hyuna, as if he wanted to play hide and seek with her. Hyuna saw Luka and invited him to play with her.

I usually format it based on whose referred to first but I actually cut off a part of it and its about how Hyuna is popular and then it mentions Luka and then I have no idea what's being said I'm using two different translator apps and they both don't make sense. Perhaps the idea is something like, 'the lonely child Luka, who also excels at Anakt Garden, even memorized her name.'

The translations it gives me call him an only kid, the best in Anakt Garden, and then continues with ", Is Hyuna" or "memorized her name" so above is my best guess tbh 😭 Reasoning? Since idk what they meant by only kid, since it mentioned in the beginning how Hyuna was popular, then if I compare then he was probably lonely (there is also art of him by a tree alone staring at Hyuna who is surrounded by many others), he was also good at his studies and so was Hyuna, and I added even to emphasize that ah Luka didn't really interact with people but Hyuna ended up catching his attention (thus he was staring at her).

Luka (1) Luka always practices until late at night. If there's even a singular thing he can't solve he immediately asks the teacher a question.

Luka (2) Luka won first place in the Anakt Garden singing contest! The children were moved to tears when they heard Luka's crying. The crying sound is clear and sweet, and moves the hearts of those who listen to it. There is a jinx that if you win first place in the Anakt Garden singing contest, you will win Alien Stage, and our teachers are expecting that Luka will win Alien Stage. It is so exciting to imagine Luka growing up day by day.

if I recall Hyuna was second

ooh thats scary the art. dude i didnt even realize there was someone behind him.. its luka whose holding up like a paper and theres two large hands on his shoulders and theres a person in black behind him but theyre so big you cant even see them just their arms and torso wtf 😭

Luka (3)

Luka complained of persistent headaches and hyperventilation during the night.

Physical examination results show abnormal blood flow and lack of oxygen in the body. There is a high possibility of congenital heart disease.

Luka's voice change begins. Intensive care is required to prevent damage to his crying(?) voice. Tea and nutritional supplements that are good for voice will be included in his diet.

one translation is 'crying voice' and the other just translates voice as crying

😭😭😭😭😭

also i cant be 100% sure the translation is right calling it congenital heart disease idk korean and the apps can be inaccurate so take it with a grain of salt

Luka (4) The end-of-mouth evaluation grades have dropped by 10 points compared to the previous month. Although it is a small drop, in order to prevent this, we plan to select excellent teachers from the Anakt Garden and provide intensive management. We also request periodic discipline at home to prevent Luka from being distracted.

i kind of hate luka but dude this is really making me feel bad for him holy shit 😭 wtf

now its i think graduating from anakt garden and writing messages to people um its a lot of text so idk how im gonna tackle this

MIZI

(two attempts at writing 'Mizi' are crossed out) Hello Mizi, (crossed out) Hello Mizi! You sing really well! If there is an angel, wouldn't it be right here? (crossed out)

I prepared a song for you (crossed out)

Thank you for giving me a recorder when I was little.

It's my only treasure (crossed out)

It's really sad that you're already graduating from Anakt Garden.

Actually, we could have become friends at any time, but I just didn't have time. (crossed out)

How are you. Hi. -Till- ---

What kind of place is the ocean?! I want to go play later too~~! ー????? IDK WHO THIS IS google registers it as jp characters and i think thats wrong so..ー

---

My dream, to Mizi Mizi the jellyfish girl (??) The day we were lying in the Anakt Garden meadow and looking at the stars together You became my dream. Is that why? The time I spent with you felt so precious to me. I have a lot of things I want to say. I feel complicated. (crossed out) I don't know what kind of world will unfold if I leave Anakt Garden, but I hope you will always live as green and free as the sea of summer. I believe this is Sua as there's a part mentioned earlier where Sua and Mizi liked watching the stars together and would sometimes fall asleep there instead of going back to their dorms (i did not mention this earlier thats my bad)

---

Mizi! It seems like you are a child who really loves singing. I am glad I was able to enter Anakt Garden with you and listen to your songs! I hope you will be successful after you graduate! -????-

the characters of the name are not even registered google keeps thinking its the letter m

---

You're so cute because you're quirky and lively! -?????-

---

Thank you for always greeting me brightly every morning. Thanks to your bright energy, Anakt Garden life (?) I think it was fun. Good luck for the preliminary round, and see you on stage. -Ivan-

(at good luck he said 'cheer up' or '힘내' which has like a lot of meaning to it and can be like 'hang in there' and is something Till taught him to do and I think he also said it to Till in an interview I think before their round happened, i just used good luck cause its easier to understand and cheer up in english doesnt have as much impact without that context)

yeah here and there was also the comic by what i meant him like learning it from till

---

.....i have to do this three more times........... hahahahaha hang in there me ....today i learned if you hold the button that takes a picture it will suddenly take multiple pictures of the exact same thing. 💀

---

♥️ SUA ♥️ MIZI (there are multiple hearts drawn over the page and MIZI is written next to SUA with a heart)

(mizi says a lot and as its handwriting its hard for the translation apps to decipher it from the image so bare with me for any errors)

Hello Sua! How are you? Did you know I would say that?? I can't believe you're already graduating, from Anakt Garden. Now that I'm asked to write something like this, I don't know what to write… If I had known this would happen, I would have taken the writing class harder! Then I could tell you everything I wanted to say!! Craft (this is scribbled out) Well I'll put all my memories in this letter ♥️ A moment I was thankful for Sua ♥️

Thank you for secretly eating cherry tomatoes for me when I was a kid and hated vegetables. Thanks for taking my prank well!

Now that I think about it, I think I played a lot. Thank you for helping me with my homework every day. Thank you for always listening to my worries Thank you for handing me a handkerchief when I was crying Thank you for silently comforting me when I failed my test

Thank you for always singing with me Thank you for appearing in my life I'll stop talking here, because we're always together! My dream. Sua, I love you!! -Mizi who loves you so so much-

GUYS IM GONNA CRY

---

I actually still like you. Even though you rejected me, can you think about it one more time? -???? no idea who this is-

dude can you read the room her girlfriend literally took over more than half the page 😭😭😭😭

---

I don't usually say this, but your voice is nice. I hope you do well in Alien Stage. -Till-

---

As an Oustanding Child, alongside you, I'm glad I was able to put my name on the list. I'm sorry we didn't talk much. You've always been an excellent kid, even (maybe 'when you're at') at Alien Stage(?? I can't tell) You'll get a good result. -Ivan-

---

IVAN

Hi! Ivan! I'm Mizi! You're handsome like a prince, you sing well, you study well… Why are you so perfect?! And Sua too… Are there only perfect kids around me!? By the way, I saw your stage costumes were all black a while ago, but I think you look better in white than black! How about wearing white on stage? I'm looking forward to a great performance! -Mizi-

NOT HIM DYING IN WHITE THOUGH. you know what. i bet. i bet he thought huh maybe till will think i look good in white. and then he wore white. AND THEN HE DIED

---

I don't know what to write because I don't remember talking. Take care. Bye. -Sua-

DAMN. girl you know on his stats in the art book he sees you as like a sister right 😭😭 (who am i kidding ive seen your stats too)

---

By the way, when is your birthday? I've never seen you have a birthday party. -just expect me not to include names of anyone not from main cast because I won't be able to tell if it's a mistranslation-

I just envied you so much. That's why I wanted to get close to you. -???-

Actually, I liked you, but we never talked to each other. Take care, goodbye -???-

---

Were you the one who stole the pencil back then? -Till-

😭😭😭 i think theres a note somewhere i dont think i read it in this one but in a previous alnst post about ivan stealing tills things and then returning them because he wanted praise or something

i cant recall if the pencil thing is related to him or if it mightve been related to mizi since sometimes the translation app gets pronouns wrong but i think there was a mention of a stolen pencil and it being returned to someone in here i just dont remember what page. dammit.

---

You are so perfect that it's hard to approach you.

-???-

---

TILL

Hi! Till! You're so good at singing and composing The lyrics and composition are so (she crossed out a word that looks similar to something she then says but I can't tell what it is) I'm so, so jealous of you for doing so well!! I often think of the song you sang at the Anakt Garden Song Contest Come to think of it, you got your ears pierced not too long ago, it looks really good on you! The guitar looked unique on the stage Are you taking it with you? For this performance I'm really looking forward to seeing your performance~!! Way to go! -Mizi-

---

When we were young, we fought a lot without thinking, but now that I'm older, I think I can be a better friend than you think. It seems like separation comes too quickly. I knew it wasn't useful, but I felt a little more intense with you. (crossed out) I hope you remember me. -Ivan-

---

I still remember you getting dizzy and falling over while headbanging at the Anakt Garden singing contest. It was really funny… -???-

---

I'm sure you're talented

-Acorn-

WAIT ACORN??

wait you can see part of the graduation messages on the patreon OH YEAH that was where i read the part of sua's and there was just this whole part blurred out (mizi to sua)

you know what im gonna ignore messages from anyone not of the main cast at this point idk why i did it for so long 😭

wait shit i forgot what i havent translated now 😭

---

Take care. See you on stage. -Sua-

---

IM DONE

OKAY

NO MORE

😭

[cesussy]

songs(well, mostly lyrics) that remind me of aventurine <3

JAKSJKAJAJA kinda nervous this is my first post on tumbrl so ahahjaus im so in love with aventurine i cant stop thinking about him lately💔 so some of these might sound delusional😭(but i like to think that i understood his character right so.. 😌) ALSO!! i doubt anyone is gonna see this but let me know if you'd like some other character from star rail<3 (or genshin, zzz etc, i have the games i like on my description profile, but you can just ask and if i know the character ill try my best to answer😌)

back to the topic<3(songs down bellow):

Million Dollar Man - Lana Del Rey

"You're screwed up and brilliant, look like a million dollar man.. so why is my heart broke?" - this song reminds me sm of himmm, the whole idea of a man who is so fascinating but so distant and cold at the same time, like the kind of person you can watch but never get too close

"You've got the world, but baby, at what price?" - i think this fits well with everything he had to endure only to work for the ipc.. you know, like, the idea of an illusion of freedom, he has money and all, but.. is he really, truly, free?:(

Big Spender - Peggy Lee

"The minute you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction.. A real big spender. Good lookin', so refined.." - ok i really have no explanation for this one, i think it speaks for itself😭

Luxurious - Gwen Stefani

"Working so hard every night and day and now we get the pay back, trying so hard, saving up the paper, now we get to lay back" - this one i feel it more, like, in terms of vibes, the whole sensual vibe, the song having the whole theme of working for money but it still has a rich vibe to it, you know?

Money Power Glory - Lana Del Rey

"I want money, power and glory, I want money and all your power, all your glory" - you'll see a lot of Lana, but I really think he fits with some songs. as for the lyrics, the song itself doesn't fit with his lore totally, but i like the chorus, i think it fits with WHY he likes the idea of having money, back then when he was a slave.. he meant nothing to the world. now that he has it, he is considered powerful.. glorious. i like to think that he understands this mentality, how much, unfortunately, money controls the world

"My life, it comprises of losses and wins and fails and falls" - i think this really works with his luck, how he always emerges victorious even after so many hardships he has to go through

Beneath the Mask - Lyn

"I'm a shapeshifter at Poe's masquerade, hiding both face and mind, all free for you to draw" - it feels a little silly to put a persona song on a star rail post😭 but i feel like beneath the mask works so well with characters that don't show their true self(haha did you get that) to the world, which works so much with the flirty, confident persona(im so funny) aventurine puts on, the "mask" he so created to conceal his feelings

Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Rey

"Think I'll miss you forever.. Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky" - this line doesnt really work with him😭 but it plays in my mind once in a while while thinking of him<3 especially in the (!! spoiler for the 2.1 quest? !! tho i think everyone finished it already) quest where everyone thought he was dead

Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold

"Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you're not really happy, but you don't wanna die? Like you're hanging by a thread, but you gotta survive 'cause you gotta survive.. Like your body's in the room, but you're not really there? Like you have empathy inside, but you don't really care?Like you're fresh out of love, but it's been in the air.. Am I past repair?" - i actually found this song on an edit on tiktok with him and i think it fits so insanely good with him. i recently saw(again, spoilers for 2.2 quest?😭) the messages he sent to the trailblazer after argenti rescued him and i noticed he told the trailblazer something like "but i survived, and im happy about that". i cant tell if he was being sincere or not, but id like to think that he indeed was happy to get the chance to keep going; i like to imagine that aventurine has an interesting view on death, he doesn't fear it and he probably wished more than once he could just vanish, but i think he accepted that he still has a long journey ahead of him

The Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco

"I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall" "I'm cutting my mind off, feels like my heart is going to burst. Alone at a table for two, and I just wanna be served.." - the first line fits so well with whatever happened with him and acheron and that whole black nihility hole; as for the song itself? the lyrics dont exactly fit, but the whole vibe is so him<3

i also made a playlist with some other songs as well if youd like to check it out(not all fit lyrically, ive added some just for vibes), you can check it out here!! aaand let me know if you have some songs that remind you of him! id be happy to listen to them<3