#but its so so so so frustrating in a way that i cant totally put into words

[chrisbesitos]

Okay heres another Ballerina!reader x Dealer!chris idea:

Reader is WORN OUT from recital practice, but cant rest until she gets that ONE specific part just right (totally not projecting) so shes working on it for HOURS at home (even with the bloody feet, belive me, its a regualr thing) and REFUSES to stop

idk if that makes any sense but yea

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀you're in love

( warnings: angst (a little bit), mentions of blood, cursing, fluff.

( synopsis: chris helps you when things get harder and you can't stop practicing your choreography for the recital.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ꒰͡⠀🩰 𝅄 💸⠀͡꒱

Perfectionism. You always were a perfectionist, at school, at university and at ballet. You have the urge to be perfect and thus fuck with your head, because you don't think you can stop until your good enough. Sometimes it seems like you never will be enough and this hurts, causes not only mentally bruises, but physically too.

Well, you're accustomed to this, because it's how your brain works. Even though the pain is killing you, consuming your feet and legs like a plague. Take a deep breath and keep going, that's what you always says.

It's been hours since you're trying to do a step of your choreography perfectly, but for some reason, you can't do it right. Well, not the way you want to do. Your phone buzzing on the floor takes your attention, almost making you fall in the middle of a pirouette, you groan as you lower down to grab. It was Chris, calling you for the fifth time.

"Damn, doll. I've been calling ya', where have you been?" Chris asks through the phone, you huffs opening the cap of the bottle, taking a few sips breathing hard. "What ya' doin'? I'm fishin' some deals, wanna eat something?"

"Thank you, baby, but now I can't." You reply, holding the phone with the shoulder against your ear. You shift your feet, feeling your fingers sore, you groan in pain. "Shit." You murmured.

"Ya' good, doll?" He asks, concerned about his girl. You nod, forgetting for a moment he's not seeing you.

"Yeah, I'm just practicing now." You bite your lower lip, you need to go back to your training. "Uh, baby, what about you brought us some food? I'll have finished when you arrive here."

"Fine, doll, mind if I choose?" You deny, so Chris okay it and turned off.

You finally could go back to your practice, now putting your phone on the mute. You can't stop more, not even for calls. Chris takes more than a half hour to arrive at your place, you didn't even notice when he gets in. The smell of fresh burgers makes your stomach groans, it's been hours since your last meal, but you didn't realize you were starving until now.

"You still doin' that shit? You said you'll be ready when I get home." He says, putting the bags on the kitchen table, he looks at the living room. The couch was out of his usual place, the tv paused on the song of your choreography and you.

You were kinda a mess. Your hair is tied in a messy bun, strands of hair sticking in your sweat forehead and your cheeks red.

"Did you get attacked by a rabid raccoon?" He chuckles, you roll your eyes ignoring him. Chris raised his eyebrows at her sassy behavior, sipping his soda. "Stop that shit, let's eat."

"In a few minutes, I need to finish this." You say, turning the music on again. Chris sits in the corner of the couch, watching you do your choreography. He smiles, he loves to watch you dance, your delicate movements and the way your body moves, drives he crazy. "Fuck!" You scream, visibly frustrated with your dance, Chris frowned his eyebrows, you were perfect for him. He rested his cup on the ground, lifting from the couch to move towards you.

"What's wrong, huh? You were perfect." Chris says, cupping your cheeks with his hands. Tears were pricking in your waterline from the frustration of failure, Chris sighs pulling you closer to his chest, caressing your back with his fingers. "You're doin' great, babydoll."

"I'm not perfect." You sob on his chest, Chris shakes his head moving you to the couch, he sits and puts you on his lap. He holds your chin, making you look at him with your tearing eyes. "If I stop now, I'll not be good enough." You say, trying to get out of his lap, to get back to your practice, but Chris holds your waist, holding you hard.

"You're good enough, doll. You're perfect f'me." Chris said, cleaning your tears with his thumbs. You sniff with a little pouty in the lips, Chris chuckles cupping your cheeks. "You're the best, babydoll." He kisses your nose.

"I don't feel like I am." You whisper, leaning your head to Chris shoulder, he sighs and massages your scalp. "I'm so tired, my feet hurt." You murmured.

"How about you stop for tonight? Tomorrow I can help you with this." He caresses your thighs through the pantyhose.

"You're gonna dance with me?" You ask, lifting your head with a smile on your lips and your eyes sparkling. You always ask Chris to dance with you, but he always denies.

"Of course no, ma." He rolls his eyes, shifting on the couch with you on his legs. You huff, crossing your arms on the chest, Chris laughed undoing the ribbon from the pointe shoe you were wearing. "I said that I'm gonna help you, not dance with you."

"You're so annoying." You say, removing the claw clip of your hair and putting it aside on the couch. Chris tugged off both of your pointe shoes, gently putting on the ground, he rubbed your feet and your fingers.

"I can leave with this." He shakes his shoulders. "Uh, doll? Your feet are bleeding, is that supposed to happen?" Chris asks with a concerned look at you, he frowns his eyebrows when you slightly nod.

"It happens sometimes, it's okay." You say, caressing his shoulder, you offer him a gentle smile, saying that's everything ok. He rubbed your legs, still worrying about your bloody feet.

"Let me take care of this, 'kay?" He kisses your jaw, gently putting you on the couch.

Chris cleaned the blood from your hurt feet, putting curatives on your fingers, he also put ice and massaged until the pain was gone. He didn't let you walk to the kitchen table, he brought the food to the couch and put on tv your favorite show, he makes sure you're comfortable and good. After finishing eating, he ran you a bath with your favorite products — he's favorite also, because he loves how you'll smell after shower — and he didn't let you move a finger, because he does all the work and you don't complain.

In your bedroom, laying on the bed and under the blanket with all of your stuffed animals on the floor, Chris caresses your thighs with his finger, kissing your lips passionately. Your hands resting on his chest, scratching a bit with your nails, a smile grows in your face when he breaks the kiss.

"You're really not gonna dance with me?" You ask, with a little pouty in your lips.

"Not doin' that shit, go to sleep." Chris says, rolling his blue eyes and lifting to turn the nightstand lamp off. The last sound in the room before the silence was the sound of your laugh, before Chris held your waist and pulled you closer.

he's just a boy in love (but he doesn't know lol) ;)

tags ; @lizzymacdonald06 @deliciousluminaryanchor @lushjunkie @sweetreliever @watercolorskyy @ivysturnss @brianna-grace12 @blahbel668 @gabri3la-sturns @strnlxlqve @stvrnzcherries @unknvhx @pvssychicken @all4l0vee @i4longhairchris @sluttybitchformattsturniolo @sophand4n4 @sturniololetstrip2

taglist | masterlist

[that-one-loz-nerd]

Not being good at art is the most frustrating thing in the world

[butchmartyr]

sometimes i get so frustrated about how many transmisogynistic users get reblogged despite their reliable-to-the-point-of-predictability episodes of vitriolic hostility against transfems or absolute lack of care in spreading hearsay about us that i think of making a big blocklist or callout, but its a foolish idea because callouts are only for making a spectacle and Other of someone in order to reinforce norms in the in group. transmisogyny callouts never spread to a large audience for this reason; as a rhetorical tool, they are not for enacting justice.

and even if they could, i stop myself, because they're a stupid way of trying to stop bigotry in the first place. we should be striving to be able to recognize bigoted rhetoric and challenge it ourselves, to stand with the marginalized in our communities, rather than making the victims have to point out The Bad Ones over and over since you can't see. and clearly, you can't see! because i cant hardly scroll this website and see an acquaintance reblog a post without recognizing op as either an open transmisogynistic themself, or a useful idiot for transmisogynists and spreading their callouts. (many of which included private pictures and nudes for "evidence" towards their evil kinks; to make this clear, revenge porn with a coat of progressive paint.)

but time and time again, nobody sees the problem when it happens to trans women. its all a pretense to voice preconceptions of disgust to trans women. they dont really believe that making shitty posts is equivalent to actual sexual abuse, just like they dont actually believe that wearing thigh highs is pedophile-coded, its all just excuses to hate trans women like they want to. for them, its just finding excuses to put in the keywords that turn peoples brains off and play into their bias. oh, sure, i cyberstalked literal years into her private nsfw blog to dig up that nude and match it with a selfie from her main and i put both in the callout im spreading around, but why would that be bad? dont you know she calls her girlfriend mommy in private sometimes? look, i did mental gymnastics to equate this consensual roleplay to real world harm, its totally pedo-incest coded! look, i said shes into raceplay apropos of nothing just to get people pissed at her, but you're not gonna check, right? why would spreading that and her nudes- sorry i mean evidence of her crimes to more strangers and exposing her to transphobes be bad? how can it be sexual harassment when the woman person really really deserves it i promise?

[the-s1lly-corner]

If you could indulge me, can I ask for something with The Amazing Digital Circus gang, with an s/o who is seen as an anchor for the others? They are strong willed, happy go lucky, supportive, a mediator and ect. Well, could they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode, just crying in frustration and like punching a wall to calm down and go back to acting like nothing happened?

I have a thing with strong willed characters hiding their weakness for the benefit of others.

TADC cast x emotional anchor!reader !

oh ho ho you silly lil fella, you have literally just described my TADC oc down to a T, i am going to have so much fun writing this because im literally just. going to use my oc as a place holder for the reader, just without describing any lore bits unique to them and their design ngl i think i went insane with this one, tally hall music is doing something to me

CAINE:

if you thought you were good at hiding your human despair just know that caine already knows. the only reason i feel he wouldnt initially come to you in your lesser moments of weakness is that he can acknowledge that youre trying to hide this part of you. does he go comfort you, and risk making you try harder to surpress your feelings; risking you to just blow up one day and have your mental state just totally collapse in one go? would you feel put off at the knowledge that in this world you never really have full privacy? that definitely wouldnt make you feel any better. but when it gets to the point where you're screaming and crying in your room and punching the walls he would step in. drags you away from the walls, and if he has to this man will restrain you if it means making sure you stop swinging. hes seen the downfall of many people within the circus, but seeing it from someone he so deeply cares for hits a different way. he may be an AI, but he can still simulate feeling. its a harrowing sensation as he lets you cling onto him. i think he makes an effort to make in house adventures less overwhelming and intense, too scared to push you over the edge but also too scared to leave you with nothing to do to distract you. i think he would stay with you for the night, too

POMNI:

as selfish as it sounds, pomni cant help but feel.. something in her chest. seeing you, the groups beacon of light falter fills her with some kind of fear and despair that she cant put into words. it reminds her that no one is above helplessness, and that at the end of the day youre just as capable of abstracting as everyone else. i think, when she finally sees your fake demeanor finally slip when you thought you were totally alone, she feels bad. i mean shes your partner, and she didnt pick up on any hints that may have indicated your true state of health. i dont think she would try to force you to speak, as much as i want to say that she would try to push for you to talk about how you feel i think her attempts to reach out to you would fall on deaf ears. i think she would put her hand on your shoulder, making you jump back to the present moment. its an awkward gesture, with the jester herself being a little lost with these new feelings... i think you two would just sit in silence

JAX:

similar to pomni, he feels this intense and unexplainable pang at the sight of the most hopeful and brightest person in the circus crumble. ive already said it but ill say it again, its like being splashed with cold water, with how hard that sinking cold feeling hits him. makes half hearted attempts to cheer you up. its not that he doesnt care, its that hes stuck in the shock of seeing the happiest person he knows flip into... this.. for a split second he thought you were abstracting, that pit his stomach becoming colder for a second before he realizes whats going on. ive said this before as well, but jax is not the best comforter, in fact i think he might be one of the worst out of the main cast. but i think so far for the characters ive written for this post, he makes an effort to try to pull you up out of your hole. at least he lets you cry your feelings out, and he wont make you feel bad for doing so

RAGATHA:

stands there in shock like pomni, before immediately rushing to your side and tugging you away from a coat stand you were kicking and beating. hands on your shoulders she tries to snap you back to the present moment, trying to tell you that shes here. any feelings of the helplessness that she shares with the previous two characters is shoved down. this isnt about her, its about you. runs her fingers through your hair, if your digital body has any, and just. rocks you. when you finally calm down enough to be able to form clear words, she reassures you once more that shes here for you. the two of you stay in that position, holding onto one another for the entire night. i think it should be said, but for most of these theyre going to try to keep a closer eye on you and make it a point to ask you how youre feeling. ragatha especially.

KINGER:

it reminds him of queenie. the sight brings back so so so many terrible memories. for a second he doesnt even register that hes standing in the present, standing in your doorway. stuck and frozen for a solid minute before you finally notice him, and you hold each others gaze. finally, you crumble. what was the point of hiding your mounting anguish now that it was discovered by the one you care for most? at the sight of your crumpled form i think kinger would snap back, and rush to your side. he's pause, afraid that you would abstract like the queen, before forcing himself to push through that fear in the back of his mind. a moment where he is not fumbling with himself or shaking; be it because he wants to be there for you or perhaps he still holds some guilt aimed towards himself for not being able to save his old queen, he refuses to leave your side even if you tell him to leave. theres this caution in his actions, mixed with this sort of determination to make sure you're okay. like ragatha, he would make it a point to make sure you're okay long after this incident

ZOOBLE:

zooble would probably be the only one who doesnt make their presence known to you while you're in that state. not because they wont care about you, in fact they care about you a lot. but theyre so unsure of what to do, that they give to you what they would have wanted for themselves, if they were in your shoes. they want to grant you privacy, and to at least keep a shred of the now ruined façade you had been putting on for everyone. if it means keeping it will give you comfort, then they wont take that away from you. they wait outside your door, waiting for the height of your episode to pass before cracking the door open. they dont say anything about what they had just heard, but you seem to know that they know.. i mean they came in so soon after you had calmed yourself down enough.

"are you okay?" a dumb question, but what else was there for them to say? you so obviously werent okay, and you likely werent for a long time. they offer to leave, to give you some time to pick yourself back up, but they also make it clear that they wont go anywhere if you dont want to be alone. the night is tense and awkward, filled with conversation before they eventually broach the topic... i think you guys would develop some sort of secret code. i mean youve been hiding your true feelings for so long, and outwardly saying you need help would compromise that mask you put up for yourself. be it a certain sentence or arrangement of objects, you two come up with a indirect way of asking for security

GANGLE:

she feels so helpless, the most out of everyone. she tries to get your attention, but her words fall on deaf ears, if they even manage to pry themselves out of her mouth. far too weak to pull you away and keep you from hurting yourself, but too soft spoken to bark out a word to draw your attention to her. truly, she feels useless. she isnt able to capture your attention until you finally notice her. similar to kingers part, you fall. she takes an unsure step towards you, hands half raised in front of her as she debates if you want to be touched or not. she settles to sitting in front of you, just barely holding eye contact... she looks down when you tear your eyes away from her. finally finding her voice, i think she would ask if you want her to stay, or if you need anything. she tries to word it the best she can, but she lets you know that she doesnt think any less of you for your outburst. it happens to the best of us, really it does. if you want her too, she wraps herself around you and tries to soothe your shaking form

[nifreti-ii]

Reactions to Day 3 !!!SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS! EFF OFF IF YOU HADN'T PLAYED YET!!!!

Little blurbs from day 3

Mmm bbg, but bbg girl is more frustrated than usual

Nuh uh bean, dont care if its meant to be, that rabbit is being put down. It’s better to just put something out of its misery rather than letting it suffer (bombastic side eye)

THE ANIMATION JUMPSCARE :0 I was not expecting that nice touch :3

OH SHIT! Dont give a fuck about how sweet and caring this boy is, only known him 3 days. The second he yells at me I am in complete panic mode and running ( ✨trauma ✨but like no, the way I genuinely got scared fam) tbh my chest is still tight :<

Jelly fish huh… I bet it’s that immortal jellyfish. He’s not immortal (I assume) but long-lived so I can see it.

HA his disguise is so cute! He looks all bundled up omg. SO CUTE AAAAA THE LIL GLASSES AAAAAAAAAAAA. 

THE BLEP! THE BLEEEEP!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

OOOOH THE WAY I CLAPPED YESSSSSSSS!!! I wanna see you again sweetie omg! So CUTTTTE LAJKHWGDKLJAWHGDJKAGHW!

VIDA? They kind of look like alma? OH MYCHEAL MY HEART AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, he totally got jealous didn't he?

Second run

Oh boy he really is not happy, he’s being eaten up by his thoughts, just wanted to be a silly sleeve flapper :<

OH cutie! So cute when he laughs and smile UGH MY HEART!JKLHG (he’d be the cutest inmate) 

Cool weird word in his language ( I wanna know his real name) and cute lil ticklish mushroom boi (he’ll die of giggle) 

Cant knitt BUT I CAN CROCHET : D (What’s in the box, Mycheal.)

Jesus dude! Don't give me a love confession without the word love in it omg MY FACE!!.

Note, to effectively flirt with mycheal, refer to his appearance positively.  His language is cool and weird af, I like it. OMG HIS FACXE SO BLUE OMG A LIL BLUEBERRY AH!

(THEORY) oki, when we step into the mushrooms on the first day and pass out. Mycheal gives us a tea of some sort that gives us control of our body again. When he overdoses us on the brain effecting stuff, we get nausea the next. He gives us THE SAME tea from before and we feel better again almost immediately. AND THEN when we encounter the mushrooms again he gets MAD, yells at us mad. What if… The ring mushrooms are somehow associated with his species (we know through the blog that Mycheal HATES others of his species 0. 0) and maybe why he gets super territorial about them being in his portion of the forest. This green mushroom cutie intrigues me more and more.

[dollcherray]

I LUV UR ACC THEME SO MUCH!!💗🎀

I was wondering if you could do tadc x piano player 😋🙏 maybe morute too? plays a lot of songs by people like Bambi Baker, Cosy St. Jean, and Nicole Dollanganger:3 (totally not projecting…)

Erm I’m a gay bitch so pref femme characters pleaseeee🕷️

♡ ๋࣭ ⭑PERVERTED ₊˚⊹♡

۶ৎ POMNI, RAGATHA AND GANGLE X MORUTE READER ۶ৎ

ᶻz Notes: Hey boo! Ty for the compliment <3 only did for these three because i hc zooble as non binary, so i did the canon girls 🫦 kind of short because im in a hurry to go study 😭😭😭 i apologize dearly.

♡ Type: Romantic, Fluff, Headcanons.

๋࣭ ⭑Song: Perverted - Elita

۶♡ৎ RAGATHA ๋࣭ ⭑

۶ৎ Ragatha is a optimistic person, so she would naturally try to compliment any hobbie you have, doesn't matter how strange or creepy it is, expect lots of compliments directed at your playing piano hobbie.

۶ৎ She would find your style a little bit disconcerting cuz of the "creepy" vibe it gives, but she deals with it for you <3 however... its kind of hard for her to compliment it sometimes, but she tries!

۶ৎ Ragatha LOVES when you play your piano, can be for her or not she would appreciate how you play it, would probably fall in love with you again in moments like these, Ragatha is a hopeless romantic bro.

۶ৎ Finds your musical taste... unique, for lack of a better word, she doesn't really identifies with it but would try to listen to you rambling about them so she could try and discuss with you about it. (she secretly find the lyrics or the music's beat creepy sometimes...)

۶ৎ If you offer to do her outfit and makeup she would hesitate to accept at first, but how can she say no to you looking at her like a dramatic puppy? she eventually gives in. (omg morute Ragatha 🫦)

۶ৎ Play some of her favorite musics and she will go ballistic (in a positive way) she would be so happy that Ragatha will probably dance while you play <3

۶ৎ Is really fond of the idea of asking you to teach it but would go against it since she doesn't think she would be very talented.

۶ৎ Overall: shes kind of "scared" but supportive!

"You look so cute today honey!"

﹏ GANGLE ꒰͡ ͜ ı ͜ ͡꒱

๋࣭ ⭑ Oh my stars.

๋࣭ ⭑ She absolutely adores you and your style, i headcanon Gangle to be an art person so she really likes your hobby, so im allowed to say for you to expect her complimenting EVERYTHING about you when she is with her happy mask, but when she is with the sad one Gangle will be more shy about it </3

๋࣭ ⭑ Kinda like Ragatha's reaction when you're playing the piano, only difference is that she would probably sometimes drift to sleep when you play it, she finds it soothing.

๋࣭ ⭑So yeah, Gangle would probably ask you to play your piano when she cant catch a glimpse of sleep, just play anything, she doesn't really care what you play, she just enjoys seeing you play and have fun with your instrument.

๋࣭ ⭑I think she would be more fond of your style than Ragatha would be and more comfortable when complimenting it, she would straight up say you look like a living doll.

๋࣭ ⭑Gangle would continue to curse her own digital body out because she wouldn't be able to let you dress her in your style (Frustrated Gangle screeching.mp4) but will be happy if you put a little ribbon on her mask.

๋࣭ ⭑She would want you to teach her how to play piano, i dont make the rules (i do) so she could play for you<333 imagine you two playing together your favorite songs.

๋࣭ ⭑ Supportive and loving 🫶🏼😭

"I really love you and your unique traits..."

・❥・POMNI ✮⋆˙

♡ Probably the most nervous and shy of them all, is really supportive but has way more trouble showing it than the other two, even if she doesn't really identify to your style of clothing.

♡ Finds your musical taste peculiarly peaceful, i feel like she would occasionally ask you to play it for her, probably would like Bambi Baker more.

♡ Really applauds your ability to play the piano since she knows that the average person takes 7 years to learn so you have to put alot of effort and patience into it and it honestly makes you more attractive to her how you have such a beautiful hobby.

♡ She doesn't really like the idea of you dressing her but Pomni says yes anyways when you ask her to please you (people pleaser) and then would continue to not dislike it when your done dressing her.

♡ Wouldnt have the patience to learn the piano 😭 sorry gurl but she would almost smash the piano in the 7th try due to nervousness 😔🙏🏼

♡ Pomni could listen to you rambling about your favorite singers but her short attention spam would not allow it 😿

“H-hey nice... um... hair?”

[emerxshiu]

i forgot it was april fools lol. i definitly did not end up sprinkling in a bunch of memes in there, nope, not at all.

I havent checked my dashboard until a few minutes earlier, but now im booping everyone i find in there, its just so damm fun! its kinda sad that its just for april fools, i wish the booping stayed forever like its way too silly i love it.

Oh yeah the drawing yep aight. So uh, i had the idea yesterday and this looks NOTHING like what i had planned, it was just going to be a plain white backgroung, and i was trying to make it look like a pencil sketch (kinda). and simple coloring. but i had a lot of problems and drawing this ended up being really frustrating but im kinda happy with the result even if it difers so much from the og idea.

also here is a clean version (aka no memes)

i tend to change my idea as im drawing so after i realized this was not going to look like i thought, i tried some effects and i came up with the idea of making it look...off.

Backgrounf with saturated colors consisting of red and blue and a fecto elfilis who looks rather dreamy, wich is totally not kinda inspired by isolated isles and high school musical 2 believe it or not (im confused as to how that was present in my mind as inspiration but i guess anything works as a reference) and contrasting with the darker background from how light and glowy i made him.

Fun fact: when i drew elfilis here, they were reminding me of a bunny, so you could kinda count this as a bit of an easter post since im probably going to forget to do something for that.

fun fact 2: this image is based on a fanfic im writing right now, i havent posted it yet, and when i do im pretty sure i'll put it into the Anonymous collection, since what im writing is very different from my usual, i tend to write about my splatoon ocs or sometimes about kirby characters, most of these fics tend to be general with not a lot of archieve warnings and stuff (save for one but that one was very very tame and just had an implication of a character dying at the end) and they're oneshots, most of them, this one is also a oneshot. i just enjoy writing that, but its a little bit....how to say it? bloody, i just have like the start made and its probably going to take me a while to finish, im also thinking of reading it multiple times since most of my works are usually just the first draft. but uh since its quite different and has that im quite scared of the reception it might have when i post it, in fact a lot of times i dont post stuff since even tho i know i shouldnt worry about others, i still do like an idiot, i just cant help caring about what other people think of me. and yeah basically its just not like the usual fluff i write.

next post might be splatoon related since im redesigning some ocs i had, or it might be princess peach showtime because my father got me the game and im loving it

Thank you for listening to my unnecesarily long rambles and Jambuhbye!

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

This Song Brought to You by A Falling Bomb (Thursday)

Shut the window love, keep the world outside/I don't want to think about anyone/And the footsteps are getting louder/Drowning out the sound of the rain as it knocks on the windowsill/I'm not answering the phone, let it ring/Lately I've been feeling like a falling bomb/The ground is getting closer and the sky is falling down

"I think it captures the feeling of being so totally overwhelmed by everything going on in the world, feeling completely hopeless about the state of things, both global events and your own life, and just wanting to shut everything out and curl up in a ball alone. there are many interpretations but thats mine. the singer puts so much emotion into it especially live and it feels like a fist is gripping your chest. very beautiful very powerful"

Unknown Mother Goose (Wowaka feat. Hatsune miku)

If a sentimental argument void of distinction is allowed then/I have a heart seemingly on the verge of breaking apart/That I swallowed back down, unable to even burst into tears/Let me scream that!

"Ok so. For a bit of context: this is the last song written by wowaka, one of the most influential and beloved vocaloid producers, before he left vocaloid completely. The song expresses his frustration with the way the vocaloid fandom treated its creators and song producers, not crediting them properly and seeing them just for their creations while also refusing to acknowledge the creators themselves. The song gets intense through the verses, only to get calm again during the chorus and i cant properly describe it in a way that does it justice so please just. Listen to it"

Unknown Mother Goose submitted by @mothocean

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, today yesterday I read chapters 17-21 and I sure have a lot of thoughts about Rhysand now. can you guess if theyre positive or negative? I'll give you a hint, its not the one that starts with a p

But before we get into that, can I just say, why the hell is everything happening so goddamn quickly YOURE ALL IMMORTAL. like, heres a rough timeline of acomaf so far: three months of Feyre being miserable in Spring post-UTM, then Rhysand takes her for one week, then Feyre's back in Spring for three weeks, then Rhysand takes her again for one week, then its less than three weeks of Feyre being back in Spring before Tamlin locks her in the manor and Rhysand and Mor take her back to the Night Court. Its been barely half a year! The reason Im bringing that up is first of all, it very much seems like Feyre is already beginning to warm up Rhysand at this point when that is absolutely not enough time for that after what he did to her. And second of all, theyre already demanding so much of her when everyone except for Rhys hasnt even spent 24 hours with her in total. And she just agrees to everything?? Right off the bat, basically the only way this makes any sense is if Rhysand is mind controlling her

Also, this is only semi-related, but i swear I remember Mor wearing a red dress to their first get-together at the HoW and Feyre not reacting to it at all ?? Also, Cassian siphons, they were specifically like a fire-y red what the hell. Now, was that just a mistake or did Rhysand use his mind powers to turn off the part of Feyre's brain that gets triggered at the sight of the color red so she wouldnt ruin his family reunion? You decide.

Alright, now lets talk about Feyre. Ive had some trouble properly analysing her the past few chapters because I was really focused on trying to figure out what exactly made her so unhappy at the spring court vs why she likes the night court so much when they seem very similar. It seemed like her motivation was flip-flopping all over the place, similar to chapters 1-3, but she already came across as far less traumatized somehow, so it felt weird that she would still have so much trouble really articulating what she wants, even to herself. But then I realized, its not that shes flip-flopping, her motivations are just contradictory; she wants to be an important political player who gets to Do Stuff but she doesnt want anyone to pay any attention to her, which is why having an empty title and no actual power staying in a city full of people who dont care if their high lord is just walkin around right beside them is so appealing

And its really frustrating because its another instance of her just getting what she wants right away instead of having to go through any character development. Shes bad at communicating and instead of even attempting to work on that, she just gets a mindreader for a soulmate, and she cant do smalltalk with nobles in order to earn their respect as Lady of Spring and instead of learning to adapt or putting her foot down and refusing to deal with the courtly bullshit at the cost of her political power, she just gets a leadership position that was quite literally made for her.

Somewhat related to Feyre being bad at politicking, they keep bringing up the fact that Tamlin just wanted her to throw parties and wear pretty dresses and maybe pop out some sons at the spring court and its just so annoying. Of course, much has already been said about how ironic it is when you consider how she ends up in ACOSF so Im not gonna go into detail on that but I did want to mention it. Also, parties and other social gatherings were a pretty important way for (noble) women who were kept out of politics to still participate in them in the past, and even if we take out the misogyny that just suddenly materialized in this book, Feyre cant read, doesnt know this land and barely knows what its like being the daughter of a rich guy, much less an actual noblewoman, of course she cant do much but sit around and reassure people that everything is gonna be alright by virtue of her presence

Speaking of the weird misogyny, its so baffling to me the reason shes being objectified and dehumanized (no pun intended) is that shes a woman whos seen as only good for child-rearing, when it really should be her being objectified and being dehumanized by being put on a pedestal for being the Saviour Of Prythian. It seems so obvious like, Ive been rotating some ideas for an ACOMAF-rewrite AU type thing in my head since before I even started reading this book, and one of the first things I decided was that everyone was gonna call feyre The Cursebreaker and nothing else and she would feel really weird and bad about it. I literally dont think anything wouldve changed if her being objectified was a more personal issue rather than something resulting from systemic misogyny, other than the fact that Rhysand couldnt be a feminist in-universe if that was the case

Now, before I move on to the next thing I wanted to talk about, I wanna quickly explain what I mean by "the misogyny just materialized in the second book" because some people might say "oh, but the first book had misogyny as well" and it definitely did but not to the same extent. ACOTAR was kinda weird because it seems to be a pretty egalitarian world, Feyre doesnt think its weird that a woman is a mercenary and while considering that the Spring Court might have a High Lady instead of a High Lord, she doesnt say anything about how it would unusual to have a woman be a leader, but it has this coating of "period-typical misogyny" over it, seemingly just because its what you expect from these kinds of pseudo-medieval european-inspired fantasy settings

So you still get all women being expected to wear dresses and Feyre being an exception for not wanting to wear one and when Feyre daydreams about getting rid of her sisters, she daydreams about marrying them off rather than daydream about them getting jobs or something. But even with that, while Feyre is considered a bit strange for not wanting to wear a dress at the Spring Court, she still ultimately gets to just wear pants without it being a big deal. And then we get to ACOMAF and suddenly theres FGM thats completely normalized, domestic abuse, women being expected to do child rearing and "continue the bloodline" by default even though children were supposed to be super rare and fae should absolutely not structure their lives around them and Feyre being absolutely baffled at the idea of a political leader having a second-in-command thats a woman. And again, it very much seems like the only reason for that is that it makes Rhysand look better if hes recuing women in general from systemic inequality, rather than just rescuing a single woman from her personal problems

And with that, lets finally talk about my most detested, Rhysand Nolastname. He fucking sucks man. In a past post I made a point about comparing specifically ACOTAR!Tamlin with specifically ACOMAF!Rhys because it thought it made sense to compare Tamlin when hes written as a love interest to Rhys being written as a love interest, but honestly, theres so little difference between Tamlin being written as an antagonist in ACOMAF and Rhys being written as a love interest that it feels kinda pointless now. Like, Feyre is upset that Tamlin wont tell her anything about the politics happening, but is inexplicably fine with Rhysand not telling her what he wants from the summer court, she hates meeting with Tamlins associates and having meaningless smalltalk with them but likes meeting Rhysand's, she doesnt like Tamlin flaunting his wealth but is fine with all of Rhysand's expensive bullshit, literally the only difference between them is that Feyre likes one and and hates the other, again, for no real reason because they are the same. Well, the same in their treatment of Feyre, Rhysand is arguably a worse person who has done and is still doing a lot more harm on a larger scale but Im posting this in the anti-rhys tag so you already knew that

Anyway, thats it for now, this got kinda long but I hope you enjoyed it

[sleepwrites]

I would like to request headcanons with Sun wukong, MK, Mei, Red son and Macaque with a s/o (platonic) who is clever, adventurous, loves solving mysteries and down to Earth.

I hope it's not too detailed. You can omit a few details if you'd like.

Aw no worries! My first platonic request as well! Apologies for the brief response as well! Ps: all of this happens after LBD’s defeat.

Who are you? Sherlock? (Macaque, MK, Mei, SWK and Red Son with a platonic!reader who likes solving mysteries)

Macaque

You showed up at one of his shadow plays and after his show was over you asked to speak with him.

He was suspicious, of course he would be, but agreed to meet you outside anyway.

Turns out you were just a person who was investigating a missing person who was last seen at one of his shows.

He had asked if you were a detective of private investigator but you denied and said you just wanted to help out.

He was confused but intrigued. To put it simply, dude was bored and wanted to tag along with you.

Was legitimately shocked when you solved the case WAY before the police did.

He sends a shadow clone to check on you while your snooping around if he cant.

You fill him in about MK in exchange, tell him if he got involved on something he really shouldn’t have, stuff like that.

All in all your pretty fun to hang around. He likes listening to you ramble about a recent case and how you figured it out. The more complex the better.

Sometimes he would suggest a really dark motive or story for a disappearance and you would just stare at him. He wouldn’t understand whats wrong lol.

All in all, emo monkie boy is a nice to talk to while figuring out who performed a, admittedly impressive, bank heist.

MK

You showed up at the noodle shop one day, frankly you were a nice bit of interest after LBD’s defeat.

Hilariously enough, when you went to the counter to order you ended up interrogating asking him a couple of questions about a stolen artifact, the thief had last been seen eating at the noodle shop before practically disappearing.

Pigsy kicked you out (ofc course) but MK felt a bit bad and met you outside under the excuse of cleaning up the front.

He found it so cool how smart you were! You always noticed little things he couldn’t. He loves how smart you are, you two balance eachother out.

He, like macaque, will accompany you while you go to see a potential lead just incase things get ugly.

Please explain whats going on once in awhile he will get so lost sometimes.

If you get really frustrated about a mystery of your’s he’ll try and cheer you up with a bowl of noodles and some advice.

Coincidentally, his advice led you to solving that mystery, he was really proud of himself after.

Mei

She caught you snooping around her house, plain and simple. You were investigating the infamous ‘Monkie Kid’ and you figured you would start with the girl most publicly helping him.

She was surprisingly ok with it when she found you. She though it was cool and happily told you everything.

She was kinda confused when you looked a little disappointed after her info dump. You explained how you actually liked solving puzzles and mysteries.

She got real sad after that and bought you a butt ton of puzzles to apologise.

She would totally tell you riddles and stuff like that.

Also likes listening to your rants about a recent case, its like ASMR to her lol. Bestie could fall asleep to that.

She’ll drive you around the city to find things and stuff like that. She doesn’t mind too much because she likes to spend time with you.

If you need to go undercover she’ll POUNCE at the chance to play dress up with you.

Red Son

Bumped into while on a walk through the city. You ended up in some trouble and Red just happened to pass by.

He helped you out and you thanked him profusely. Red kinda just rolled his eyes and walked off.

He met you again when he saw you again at a museum (dont ask why he was there) writing something down about another stolen artefact.

You noticed him and waved. He didn’t really know what to do and awkwardly waved back.

He did end up helping with the burglary, you two were the literal dream team. Your smarts, his smarts? Un-beat-a-ble!

Would brag about how you and him could take over the world if you two wanted to. You just laugh and ask if he would supply you with infinite sudoku.

You like hanging around Red Son aswell. He provides a fresh perspective on a lot of your cases.

Over all, angry fire prince is a wonderful partner in (solving) crime.

Sun Wukong

(Sorry Swk fans I can’t think if a meet scenario)

Honestly? Thinks your a nerd at first. I mean why sit around and scrounge for clues all day when you could be out there busting up bad guys?!

After he sees you solve a puzzle in a death temple adventure in less than 5 minutes he admits he thinks your smarts are cool.

Usually watches over you while your walking around a shady part of the city looking for clues.

You taught him how to do a lot of puzzles. Rubiks cubes, sudoku, wordles etc.

No listen, you two are the TRUE dream teams, you being the brains him being the awesomely handsome brawn. His words not mine.

Just imagine for a minute, remember that death temple I referred to earlier? Yeah imagine you trying to figure out a super complex puzzle with Swk trying to stop the walls from crushing you two. PEAK bonding experience I tell you.

He respects your skills, really! But he wont say it out loud. Hes too prideful.

[deadtiredghost]

so i turned a oneshot into a series. and that exploded into a whole thang in my brain but I'm probs not gonna write it any time soon so i am deciding to post some stuff here.

rottmnt Leo centric cause this is all based on a few fics I wrote.

This is just a fun what could happen after the movie outline but darker than I think rottmnt will ever go.

the kraang left Leo with a badly cracked shell and some lasting issues in his left leg - Mikey painted his cane blue

Leo started doing independent research into mystic medic shit after the kraang attack. the team medic headcanon fr and I think CJ would deffo also know medical mystics which spurs Leo on

Leo spends a lot of time with CJ, coparenting fine with Casey after they figure each other out - makeup is the main thing they share in common because Casey has beautiful red eyeliner and Leo has his own beautiful red stripes.

Casey and Raph bff propaganda! they finish off the foot together or smming.

Triceraton arc:

the triceratons are fucking huge in rottmnt, like Leo doesnt come up to their ankle huge, and I see Raph using his hologram things to get bigger to fight, Donnie supporting him like in the kraang fight, Mikey using his super-strength to do damage and Leo initially being all flashy like he usually does but eventually realising that the only way they are going to have any chance is to use his portals to straight up chop the heads off of the triceratons - a CJ and Draxum approved plan.

cue angst and guilt - theyre like, 19, 18 & 17 respectively. they have encountered death before but never actively and intentionally killed anyone.

but like Leo would absolutely live in pain if that meant his family would be safe. and we have seen this time and time again.

#just super soldier problems:

and then the transition from these two alien invasions back to shutting down the run-of-the-mill villain of the week is jarring, and all the bros have a bit of trouble adjusting to non-leathal levels of strength

its good when they're just up against meatsweats or smming cause he got a similar mutation and can take their full force punches while even some yokai just need a gentler touch.

i'm thinking a teenage baxter stockboy is particularly difficult for this chaotic team to deal with because they're loud and violent by nature, while they need to shut off his tech without significantly hurting him

none of them are good at steath apart from Leo and none of them are good at tech apart from Don so to avoid raph eating more metal Leo decides to split the team up, which is met with resitence of course, but Leo is the logical planning guy and Raph and Mikey let emotion cloud their logic more than half the time.

I want Leo to get frustrated at how his family dont quite understand what he is trying to get at - #just ADHD things.

He needs to learn to be better at communicating, but his family also need to understand that he's not trying to procrastinate or goof off, it's kinda hard to explain something, even if its simple, when your brain is going a mile a minute and its so clear in Leo's brain what he wants that he forgets it isn't clear in other's (does that make sense? taking from personal experience here)

I also want Leo to learn in this conflict to stop relying on himself to avoid his siblings being in danger, because while he had told Dr Feelings over and over he got it and he wouldn't - he totally would and still hasnt stopped putting himself down to keep his family afloat.

Don gets an arc! its about being in an unhealthy relationship!

Don dates Kendra for a time. I think canonically Don would have a crush on Kendra, but it's not a healthy relationship and no one in the family likes her, which just allows her to isolate Donnie from their family etc. Kendra doesnt return as a 'villain' just an antagonist for Donnie personally, because the Purple Dragons cant just vanish from the story entirely.

imma give Donnie a Timothy as a friend because I feel bad for hurting them.

Rat King Arc:

like every villain in rottmnt, the Rat King is a significant issue they have to deal with. He is a human who wanted to discover the mysteries of Yokai and went crazy with empyrean use.

Unfortunately he can mind control rats... cue splinter angst as the family need to fight their father who is trying to kill them.

Big Mama makes a deal with the Rat King for Splinter becuase he is profit. Leo has to deal with her one way or another, so he makes a bet.

Unfortunately for Big Mama Splinter has a really bad back and Raph is very aware of his constant complaining, so he takes advantage of that to restrain him in battle, and then Splinter manages to snap out of the mind control because Raph smacks some sense into him (and some magic) - after Raph got mind controlled they all did some mind-protecting-techniques with Draxum for a while.

This whole Rat King arc is particularly hard on Raph :[

they go home happily ever after with some fun new trauma of their dad trying to kill them.

BISHOP!

next there is bishop, because Baxter is just a kid, he is barely a threat, and Donnie would just wipe any evidence of them off his tech of course? HAHA, nope. because bishop gets involved.

it takes a hot sec before they take Bishop seriously tbh. it was always a fear but as they had gotten more integrated into the Yokai city they had gotten too relaxed, relied too much on Donnie's tech and gotten too focused on their social/academic lives. so the government snuck up on them.

theyre about 22, 21, 20 at this point in time - they have already met Yuichi Usagi, Jennika and Leatherhead, and Donnie and Mikey are currently attending Yokai Uni.

So theyre all settled and "retired" from ninja stuff when disaster strikes and Leo and Raph get kidnapped by Bishop. Time for the pb&j duo to get them back!

Tigerclaw Arc:

I have more ideas involving tigerclaw but those ideas hindge on the ending of the Bishop idea, cause I have conflicting ideas for how it could end.

japanese assassin sent to kill the last few members of the Usagi clan so Leo gets involved and gets a new villain all to himself. (either Leo looses a leg to tigerclaw or Leo had already lost a leg to Bishop and is adjusting to his prosthetic still while fighting tigerclaw) Mikey, Raph and Don meet Kitsune, Alopex and Venus respectively during their trip to Japan and figuring out who has sent tigerclaw to attack their friend.

Haha. I threw Kitsune in there because she is another interesting villain and I would love to see rottmnt Mikey interact with her and slowly realise she isnt one of the 'good guys' and challenge his worlview that 'everyone who helps him must be nice and a good person' - tho i'm conflicted as to whether or not have her as a villain or just a criminal that fucks off to never be seen again

after all this they go get therapy.

Hope u enjoyed, just my brain has been circling these various scenes in my brain since 2024 started and I'll probs never get them onto paper, digital or otherwise.

if anyone felt inspired to write anything with one of these plot ideas in mind, feel free to! Would absolutely love that!

[wings-of-ink]

Doo you ever have a like "its missing something"

Thats what i have while reading ur IF, dont get me wrong okay!!

I absolutely love it, the writing is chef's kiss and the plot i cant get enough of, but it feels like it needs something, a secret ingredient if u will, and i cant put my finger on what it is, its so frustratingly frustrating

😡

As a writer without a professional editor "it's missing something" has become the tag-line for my life, lol. Then again, we have many chapters to go still, and in my experience, the further you get, the more you can taste those missing "somethings" from the beginning.

I've written one full traditional novel before this (and many partial ones lol), and there were things that I just couldn't see until I wrote the end (and continued to see as I go back to keep editing). I think the IF will be the same. Editing as you go is not always the best for that reason.

There are several intentional gaps as well. Some are to allow the reader to fill in bits of the MC and world, and some are to maintain the spirit of discovery. I don't want to let you know the things your MC doesn't know. I'm also not the best at describing things the way I see other writers do, lol. So there's that, my picture isn't totally painted.

So I feel what you're putting down for sure. I think it will get there too. There's been a lot already I've had to adjust, and I'm always looking for ways to make it better. When we get to the end, it will have a good and thorough edit to add salt, ginger, cardamom, or whatever else we're missing to the mix.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! ^_^

[art-of-mathematics]

i need to rant again (sorry in advance).

I feel very sad right now.

As I concretized what aspects I suffer under the most: it is primarily isolation and having nothing to do all day.

so i searched for volunteering opportunities.

(i want to volunteer) but seeing the offers for volunteering work almost being entirely a social volunteering activity made me very sad and frustrated.

and although i find that things like soup kitchen for homeless people are important and i value them - i do not know how i could integrate myself in there to do any activity where i would not just be entirely overchallenged by all social interactions stuffs. while also being bored of the tasks one could do here.

I searched further for any regular or any activities for autistic people or people with huge social inabilities- and it makes me so sad and angry... finding just the few scarce options i have also heard of already- occupational therapy, "work" therapy (which is very similar to occupational therapy), and then thats it for regular options.

for less regular options there is also very few options...

for volunteering work one also needs to be merely self-organized. and damn...

i just wish i had a job that i at least enjoy half of the tasks to do - and anything to do.

i hate being in this shitass huge city and having the same options as someone living in a damn tiny village... or forest.

//sarcastic: in a forest there might even be more options for me to engage with my environment than in this shitasshuge city of additional sensory torture...

it makes me so sad.

it feels futile.

like literally. the isolation and having nothing non-pointless to do make overcoming the shitty trauma far more difficult.

What can I do?

Talking with myself is an option I find even more depressing than just talking to no one for days.

its not even that i slightly like the isolation.

i hate it. i dread it! i prefer to live with some people in a shared flat. but this isolation chamber. i cannot take it.

but i mean: i am extremely privileged for living on my own, renting an apartment solely for myself. But I do not want to live for myself. It is isolating, debilitaing so. In a shared apartment there at least happens social interaction randomly, and I could even do the tasks I do already and would help someone with what i do. But this way its depressingly futile and lifeless.

I feel useless and like a damn burden.

This apartment I am living in is like the final storage facility of radiocative substances: its far away from any engagement places, on a mountain on the outermost edge of the city, with the only function to store and isolate the trash for many years and decades so it will finally fall apart one day, and does not annoy anyone with its existence.

damn. i feel so sad. i have very huge trouble sleeping since a week. i am tired. i am exhausted. breathing shallowly. cant focus. just mind fog. just shittt

am tired but cant sleep

can only complain.

i hate this futile attempt to "pull myself up by my own bootstraps". it is not only seriously energy-consuming, but also futile. But what else can i do?

fuck it. i am tired. yet cant sleep.

and dat thought circle now repeats itself 1000 times until i either get so angry or stressed that whatever might happen - or i might be able to navigate my fucked up mind into a different semi-disturbing thought topic.

i am tired.

yes, you are tired? tell me more about it. does it feel as if u got bread as brain?

yeah. totally. the bread is crumbling.

and what do we want to do with the crumbs now?

perhaps collect da crumbs, put it in a bowl (but not a holebowl) and then insert a liquid and stomp it very hard multiple times until it becomes dough again.

yay. we bake a tiny new brain bread now, dont we?

yeas, we do.

at least in our imagination it is that easy to get into a slightly better mental space - for few minutes - but that is a topic for another chapter.

no seriously. i have to come up with this kind of nonsense all the time because if i confuse myself with this kind of silly nonsense the shitty thoughts, feeling and memories get swirled around - and then they are less painful.

swirling the awful brain crumbs makes them feel as if they are disappeared - but only for the moment when i swirl the shit around. if the brain crumbsmsettle again it all starts to be unbearable again.

seriously this is exhausting. and why? damn why do i have to do this?

arent there more helpful/functional ways to deal with it?

if someone of you humans reading this knows a realitistic other functional compensation method, please feel free to tell me.

I am "am Ende meines Lateins" as that German saying goes. I have approached the end of having clues/ideas. Perhaps I have to accept I approached the invitable: the last station to Burnout and Boreout all at once!

the ring of running in a hamster wheel closes itself as the hamster approached light speed and time began to stand still.

as time stood still, all that was existent was the dead hamsters haunting memories,

still haunting him after he already succesfully died in one of his recursive nightmares.

but uhh. recursive nightmares are of a special kind... i assure you... but dont be sure about anything, thats for sure...

.. and that, my dear human beans, that is true irony.

legendary.

at least i can laugh about it - somehow. anyhow. whatever.

[inkbedou]

L1X14N - ADS!Lix

and finally, also made by me, we got ADS!Lix; L1X14N!

a quite literally perfect android fighter tasked to protect the humans in the Invincible II and their colony. although maybe 'perfect' isnt the right word...

more info about him under the read more!

is an android!! look at the robot go!!

very quiet, kinda nonchalant and standoffish but never in a cool guy type way, more like aloof, i guess? his brain is full of elevator music

has emotions, and he can detect he has them but not really what they are or mean

like i put in the ref sheet, i imagined he'd like making music with music pads or midi fighters, but of course only when he has time

ok, so i might have gone a little crazy with this one but HEAR ME OUT

i imagined that if he were to be a part of the story, that in some alternate universe L1X would realize that all the wormhole buisness happens because of Engineer. and as his job is literally to ensure the safety of the colonists, he decides to jump into the wormhole looking for Engie. this chase would get more and more frustrating tho, as L1X can find many Marks but not Engineer, and stresses as the more time he takes to find Engie, the more that the colonists will be hurt/traumatized. not to mention the betrayal, i mean, L1X would probably think that Engie meant what he was doing. In the end tho, i imagine that he wouldnt have a big part in the ending (i like that the captain and Engie have their moment), but that after all of it got resolved that he'd still remember everything that happened, so i guess more trauma for the poor android :(

his cat companion is a white oriental shorthair named Sequilho! sequilhos are brazilian cookies, i have this vid from Dylan B Hollis that shows the recipe, its so simple i should really try them sometime :D https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9rPCwLZ42Kg (recipe video)

and poor L1X is completely in love with this cat. if it sits on his lap he feels so much emotion towards it he cant bring himself to move it. he has a back pocket on his pants specifically designed for the cat to sit in while he works. you cant get it away from him.

someone who worked on him once tried to take the cat away from him and he lost all will to live. Engie and Gunther had to go get the cat back so that L1X could actually work again.

idk why i designed him to look kinda like a porcelain doll, but it looks pretty cool! tho obvs he's made of some stronger material XD also, he's made to look kinda weirdly human, so his "blush" is painted on.

the light blue lights are illuminated parts that show the inside of the wiring. whether the color can be changed to others like those rgb lights remains to be seen.

and finally, his weapon of choice is usually his two laser guns, though he knows how to fight with any weapon B)

aaa these three were so fun to do, im so happy with how they came out! although i have to admit there was a fourth idea that never really went anywhere. cause if we got lix in all areas of the ship, an alien!lix isnt that farfetched. it wasnt a bad idea at all, i just didnt have a good idea for it, but it could totally be made XD! maybe someday ill make it...

[yb-cringe]

im sorry to bring discourse into your ask box but you're entirely right like. it's part of why i never got into ranchers (and only just started properly liking flower ranchers) cus fics and art always characterized scott as this like… terrible partner? like scott teasing jimmy was, to me, a way of showing affection? and he never legitmately berated him for anything. why does scott get so mischaracterized in ranchers fics that DONT also include him as major part of the story?? whether it's him getting shipped with the ranchers or not, like?? he was a GOOD husband, he LOVED jimmy and jimmy loved him??

no no youre good i brought it up So totally fair game

Yeah i completely get you- i said already but yeah i just cant get into ranchers because for some reason theres an air of ‘okay but if you do scott needs to be characterized as an evil abusive ex’ which rubs me the wrong way because no????

its just Wrong because thats not what happened at all. youre right the teasing was lighthearted if not a bit sassy at best but /everyone/ does that with jimmy and grians even said that his friends! hate! being! called! bullies! when theyre completely within jimmys boundaries!!

3L scott was no different! in fact he was the most avid jimmy fan during 3L! ive even made jokes that 3L scott would beat up empires Scott for how he treated him because hes THAT protective! he put himself in physical danger over and over again to keep jimmy safe and to eventually avenge him after his death.

his world went grey without him, they named cows together, scott framed his gifts and baked him cake and stood by his side when he turned red despite the obvious danger that would put him in because he loved and cherished him Completley and to have that all cut away CONSISTENTLY as a fanon concept down to ‘he said jimmy house ugly once :(‘ is just.. /frustrating/.

[frusciantehoe]

Lay me down in sheets of linen

You were standing near the stage during the chili peppers gig, and although John was one of the best guitarists you had heard, this gig wasn’t his best.

First, his guitar strap broke off his shoulder, in the middle of a solo. He had gone from being tilted back, eyes closed and lips parted, to an awkward, fumbling man in the matter of seconds. Not the worst thing to happen, but you wouldn’t have liked it.

Next, his pedal board stopped working. you could see how frustrated and upset he was becoming, he seemed so excited for this gig, and you were so happy for him, pressing kisses all across his face backstage before they started playing, it hurt to see this all go wrong for him, you knew how much of his soul and energy he put into every single performance.

Lastly, a string snapped on his main strat he was playing, it was like he snapped too. You could see the rage in his eyes as he stormed off stage, ignoring the pleas from Flea, Chad and Anthony. The crowd began booing him and the band, or begging for them to come back. It was too much.

You followed after him, trying to catch up to his giant strides. You were extremely worried, your mind racing with thoughts of what he could do, or more specifically what he would. You were never scared of john, no one was once they really knew him, he was such a gentle man, even though he was apart of a band full of overly macho men, and their macho fans. Once you got to know him, he was the sweetest and kindest man you had ever met, he would do anything for you, and you would do the same for him.

“John-“

“Just go away y/n, please, i need to be alone”, he replied, leaving before you could answer and locking himself in his dressing room.

You stood outside for a few minutes, alone, once again. You didn’t know what to do. Should you knock? Should you leave him be? Should you go get the others? Your thoughts were interrupted by loud footsteps and yelling.

Anthony was fuming, obviously. When would he ever miss an opportunity to criticise your boyfriend? He pushed past you, practically shoving you against the wall!

“Greenie, get the hell out here, now, you fucked up our entire set!”, he yelled, pounding on the door.

“Man, calm down, his guitars acting up, you’d be pissed too in his situation”, flea retorted, “John, come out, we can still go finish the gig”

You knew how much John hated when Anthony called him greenie. At first you thought it was just a playful nickname, like how everyone calls Michael ‘flea’, but you soon realised it was a way to make John feel small and inferior. Anthony would often do things like that, he would call John weird, or a freak, or just be a total dick to him, because he knew he could get away with it. It enraged you.

After more yelling for a few moments, from anthony mainly, John opened the door and pulled you inside, before quickly shutting and locking it again. He looked so frustrated and upset with himself, it broke your heart a little.

“Johnny, it’s okay, it was just a few mistakes”, you spoke softly, cupping his face with your hands and kissing his forehead.

“No, its not, i’m such a fuck up, i cant even play properly anymore”

“Don’t you dare say that”, you quickly countered “you’re an amazing musician, even bowie made mistakes, it’s natural and human, johnny”

He pulled away again, for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight, you hated when he shut you out, all you wanted was to help him feel better.

He was quiet for a bit, while you awkwardly stood at the door, once more not sure what to do, why was this so complicated?

Slowly, you walked over to him, putting your hands on his shoulders from behind and resting your head on his back. neither of you spoke, you didn’t need to.

Your hands slipped down his back slowly, feeling his skin and muscles. You always loved the way he looked without a shirt, who wouldn’t? The way his muscles gleamed from his sweat and the reflection of the lights on stage, or how soft his skin looked while you lay on his chest after the two of you made love.

“Let me help you”, you whispered to him, moving so you were standing in front of him. He nodded slightly, and if you weren’t so focused on him, you wouldn’t have noticed at all.

His hands came to rest on your waist, and yours were in his hair. Slowly, you leaned up and kissed his jaw, then both his cheeks and finally your lips met in a soft kiss. Your eyes fluttered closed and you kissed for a few moments, relishing in the moment.

People might think that being with a “rockstar”, you were constantly fucking, which wasn’t true. Being on the road you rarely had any time to even kiss for more than a few minutes, and fucking in a bathroom or very quietly while Anthony Kiedis is snoring on the bed beside you gets old very quickly.

His lips moved more firmly against yours, and you backed towards the vanity, hands moving out of his hair and down his chest.

“John..”, you whispered against his lips, squealing as he picked you up suddenly and gently set you on the vanity. You instinctively spread your thighs so he could come closer, your dress riding up over them. His lips moved from yours to your neck, pressing kisses to your skin and sucking bruises into the muscle.

“You’re so beautiful, especially in this dress, baby”, he whispered, pulling the straps down your arms and the neckline down past your soft breasts. John always knew how to make you feel good about yourself. About the size of your thighs, or the curves of your hips and waist, or your nose. He made you feel like the most prettiest girl in the world.

“I know, it’s your favourite”, you smiled at

him, your lips parting as his wrapped around one of your nipples, sucking it into his mouth. Your hand rested on the back of his head, fingers tangled in his hair as he sucked on your tits. He slowly moved down, kneeling in front of you and pushing your dress up over your hips. He looked at your panties, seeing you had soaked through them in the centre.

“You’re soaked”, he cheekily stated, looking up at you with a grin on his face.

“Please, John”

“I know, sweetheart, I’ve got you ”, he leaned down so his head was between your silky thighs, pressing his tongue flat against your clit through your panties. You gasped sharply, trying to stay still at the sudden contact, your hips failing miserably as they instantly bucked up against his tongue, causing him to let out a quiet groan.

He slowly slipped off your panties, his eyes falling onto your pussy for a moment, then back up at your face. His eyes were full of intensity, that you couldn’t put your finger on what he was feeling. Suddenly you felt very small and insecure.

“What? Is something wrong?”, you quietly whispered, worried that you had done something wrong.

He quickly shushed you, bringing his hand up to your velvety smooth folds and pressing his thumb to your clit, rubbing slow circles over the bud.

“You’re so, so beautiful, it makes me go crazy”, he whispered back.”I can’t wait to see you cum”

Your breathing picked up a bit, hands flying into his soft brown locks as he buried his face between your thighs, teasing your entrance with his tongue while his thumb continued to rub your clit. You bucked your hips up again, closing your eyes and whimpering quietly as he pulled his thumb away from you and slowly flicked his tongue over your clit.

John always put your pleasure before his, not just sexually but in every day life too. He would have you cumming on his fingers for the third time before he even had his boxers off, which you both loved and hated. By the end of him fucking you, you would be completely exhausted, barely able to cuddle for a moment before you practically passed out in his arms.

He rubbed his tongue over your clit in slow circles, holding your hips down as you rutted up against him. John brought his fingers up your thigh towards your entrance, rubbing over it with his fingertips in time with his tongue.

Your moans grew louder and higher as he applied more pressure, fingers gripping onto his hair while you whispered his name just loud enough for him to hear, loud enough so he was the only one who would hear you say it this way.

“John, I’m-“, you moaned out, arching into him as his lips sucked on your clit. Your thighs trembled and you threw your head back, the pressure in your stomach becoming to much to hold back

John didn’t pull back for a second, letting you ride out your high on his face. After a moment, slowly he pulled away, pressing kisses up your inner thighs, stomach, breasts, neck all the way to your swollen, plush lips. You kissed him back weakly, already tired from him eating you out.

He slowly pulled away, looking at you with such love and affection it made you feel weak.”I’m sorry for being such a dick earlier, it’s just.. well, you know how much this means to me.”

“I know, it’s okay, i would’ve done the same probably”, you softly whispered back, reaching up to cup his face.” I love you”

“I love you too, sweetheart”, he replied.

He leaned down and rested his forehead against your cheek, his hands caressing your bare waist while yours moved back into his soft brown hair. For a moment you were both quiet again, bathing in each other’s presence and warmth. You wished it could be like this all the time, that you could both live in your shared bed, with only a guitar by the nightstand to accompany you two, that’s all you needed. Each other and music.

Your hands moved down to his shoulder blades, hand’s caressing his skin while your lips found his again. You sat up from the vanity and held his hand gently, leading him over to the couch by the door. He sat down and pulled you to him so you were standing between his legs, stroking his hair as he rested his head on your chest. “You okay?”, you questioned quietly, moving your fingers through his hair soothingly. He nodded, humming in response to you and burying his face in your chest. You moved onto his lap and held the back of his head, kissing his lips.

John melted into you completely, his hands wandering down your body to your hips, pulling them to his own. This is just what he wanted needed right now, the tour was putting him under so much stress and pressure, playing shows night after night. All he wanted was to be in your arms, to feel your soft, tender hands in his calloused, hardened ones.

“I love you, I love you, I love you”, he said, over and over again, moving his hips against yours the tiniest bit. You could feel how hard he was getting in his pants. His hand’s pulled away from your hips to unbuckle his belt and pull down the fly of his jeans.

You glanced down at his cock, it was leaking tiny beads of precum, the tip was almost red.

John lifted you up a little bit so he could line himself up with your entrance, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder as he did.

“Ready?”

“Mhm, please, johnny”

Slowly and gently his cock slid into you, causing you to wince at the stretch. You and John had sex many times before, but it always hurt a bit, he always made sure to be as slow and careful as you needed, he didn’t want to hurt you.

“You okay?”, he whispered against your ear, pushing his hips up a little bit more until he was fully inside, biting back a groan.

“Yeah.. god, you can move now, johnny”, you practically whined back. Your hands moving to grab onto his shoulders, nails pressing into his skin. John slowly moved his hips upward into you, drawing a moan from your lips. John rested his head on top of yours, quiet pants falling from his mouth as he slowly moved faster.

Your bodies moulded together perfectly, like you were one, two souls faded into each other. You both knew everything about one another, every thought, secret, idea. You were the reflection of each other, in good and bad.

Your mind came back to the present, to his body against yours and his cock inside you as he moved a little harder. He kissed your neck and gripped onto your ass gently. You moaned his name, hands running through his hair and fingernails scratching over his scalp lightly.

“Look at me, sweetheart, cmon”, he moaned out, wild strands of hair sticking to his forehead. You looked up at him, trying desperately to keep your eyes open.

“So pretty, so good, so beautiful”, John breathed out, his eyes locking onto yours as he started fucking into you faster, his fingers digging into your hips hard enough for you to find small circular bruises on them the next morning. You tossed your head back and moaned higher, eyes closed and lips parted. You felt the familiar warmth in your lower stomach building up, causing you to grab onto John’s shoulders to steady yourself, whining out about how good he made you feel.

“Let go, baby.. fuck, cum on my cock”, John groaned and snapped his hips up into yours, his jaw dropping as he felt you clench around him. He looked up in awe as he watched you hit your peak, hands cupping your waist to brace you.

He moved his hips faster, satisfied that you had your own release but now he was craving his own (although he would’ve loved to see you cum all night).

“Cum inside me, please John”, you whispered against his shoulder, sweet moans escaping your lips as his cock hit all the best places.

His eyes practically rolled back once he came, jaw clenching and grip tightening on your waist, groans and moans coming from his mouth. You kissed him and he kissed you back with all the love he had in his soul. Slowly you pulled away and rested your head on his chest, tracing the tattoo on his left arm with your fingertips, like he was a painting. He was all art and music, even his body was covered in it.

After a few moments of soft words and kisses, you got off his lap with shaky legs. John quickly got up too and grabbed a few tissues, kneeling in front of you and holding you steady as he carefully cleaned you off.

“Thank you”, you spoke, biting your lip as you looked down at him, shivering at the feel of his hands caressing your thighs.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart”, he smiled up at you, pressing a quick kiss to your thigh, causing you to giggle before he got up and kissed you on the lips.

Your hands cupped his face once more and you pulled away from the kiss, looking at him with a small smile.

“Wanna go fix your guitar string?”, you said.

“Sure, as long you let me play later”, he replied, a grin on his face again.

“Hm, maybe”

Of course you would.