#but i can also just ramble to my partner
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Top 10: Tumblr vs. AO3
Just felt like doing some statistics with my work!! Comparing AO3 popular fics vs. tumblr popular fics and seeing what I found out: thought other people might be interested as well! Ramblings about patterns and causes are under the ‘read more’ :P
AO3 (by kudos):
Class Outing: BNHA, regressor!Izuku (1247 kudos)
Only Heaven I’ll Be Sent To: Resident Evil, regressor!reader, caregiver!Lady Dimitrescu (759 kudos)
Cold Palms, Warm Heart: Twilight, regressor!reader, caregivers!Alice and Jasper (573 kudos)
The Doctor’s Office: Twilight, regressor!reader, caregiver!Carlisle (403 kudos)
Kitchen Friends: Marvel, regressor!reader, caregiver!Steve and Bucky (336 kudos)
Sound and Silence: BNHA, regressor!Aizawa, cg!Hizashi (321 kudos)
Restrained: Death Note, regressor!Light, caregiver!L (309 kudos)
A Story For Sans: regressor!Sans, caregiver!Papyrus (278 kudos)
Home Sweet Home: caregivers!Carlisle and Esme, regressor!Cullens (273 kudos)
To Weather The Storm: caregiver!Tamaki, regressor!Haruhi (238 kudos)
Tumblr (fics only):
Class Outing (167 notes)
Cold Palms, Warm Heart (159 notes)
The Playtime Solution: Sanders Sides, regressor!Logan (159 notes)
The Doctor’s Office (150 notes)
Sugary Sweet: Twilight, regressor!reader, cg!Jasper and Alice (150 notes)
Kitchen Friends (125 notes)
Only Heaven I’ll Be Sent To (116 notes)
What Family Is: Harry Potter, regressor!reader, cg!Remus and Sirius (116 notes)
Just Plane Overwhelmed: Sanders Sides, regressor!Virgil (111 notes)
Golden Slumbers: Harry Potter, regressor!reader and Harry, cg!Fred (110 notes)
Overall Tumblr Top 10:
Caregiver Valerie Frizzle headcanons & moodboard (409 notes)
Writing Prompts 2019 / 2022 (290/365 notes)
Caregivers Tiana and Naveen headcanons (244 notes)
Caregiver Jack Skellington moodboard (229 notes)
Caregiver Morticia Addams moodboard (224 notes)
Regressor Wybie Moodboard (205 notes)
Caregiver Bruno Madrigal headcanons (201 notes)
Caregiver Jack Skellington headcanons (191 notes)
Caregivers Sundrop and Moondrop headcanons (189 notes)
Caregiver Belle headcanons (182 notes)
This was really interesting!!
Re: overall tumblr top 10: I think it’s funny that my throwaway moodboards are often some of the most popular content on my blog. Things I’m just like ‘ooh I gotta make this’ are mixed in with requests, I think that’s interesting! Ms. Frizzle just blowing away the competition, that’s amazing and I love it. Nothing is even close to how popular she is, and she deserves it. Jack Skellington coming onto the list twice? Come through king, I would love to write a full fic in Halloweentown sometime.
Generally, the more ‘alternative’ characters seem to get a lot more attention on my blog: The Pumpkin King, Morticia, Wybie, Sundrop and Moondrop... Tiana and Naveen really snuck up there though!
Moving onto the more direct fic comparison:
....well this made me realize that I never published my Sanders Sides fics from this blog on AO3, whoops
Setting that aside, fics with angst and plot tend to do better on AO3, while fluffy stories do better on tumblr: Sugary Sweet doesn’t even hit my top 10 on AO3 and it’s one of the fluffiest fics I’ve ever written, coming in at #5 on the tumblr list
On the other hand, Only Heaven I’ll Be Sent To is by far one of my best performing fics on AO3, but comes in at number 6 (tied with another fic) on tumblr, probably because it features a lot of action and gore alongside the fluffy agere elements, same for Restrained showing up on the AO3 top but not tumblr’s.
My Harry Potter fics do way better on tumblr, which is interesting? Maybe Harry Potter fans are still reading their fics on independent forums? Or Harry Potter folks on AO3 don’t cross over much with the agere crowd. (Or maybe they’re just overloaded with /reader fics) I haven’t been actually into the HP community since around 2011 so I’m not sure what’s up there.
Big shoutout to Class Outing for dominating the top of both lists: BNHA is such a big fandom that it makes sense, and I wrote that fic on @agere-fandom-time, which I think got more interaction than this blog: it seems like people are more comfortable interacting with a group-run blog, rather than an individual writer. Or maybe that’s a natural consequence of more writers putting out more consistent content, letting the blog get bigger. I’m not sure! Either way, even if I’m not into BNHA anymore, I feel like it’s a good piece of my writing, so I’m happy for it to be my top spot.
#how do i tag this lol#hark i say nothing#stella babbles in statistics#ao3 stats are one of my hobbies#i love to compare years and fandoms and ships and tags#i have like over a hundred graphs on my computer for different comparisons#i've considered making a sideblog for it#but i can also just ramble to my partner#like a person with a conspiracy board#it's great#links.... so many links
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Just thought about sharing this frame right here
Do with it what you will
#the split second before the lips touch are always my favorite part to analyze like a psycho#sorry about the motion blur#this was a bitch to screenshot but I had to#for science#also can you tell that I really like Tommy and buck together and want them to be endgame?#I’ll hide the next bit in the tags cause some shippers are scary:#I don’t really want buddie to happen#im not against it but there is something about eddies actor#that makes me feel like he’s one of those bros is fine with gay people but not near him#and this is purely my own impression#I don’t think he said or done anything to give that impression#you know how there are certain actors who simply refuse to kiss men because of fragile masculinity#because I’m straight bro#anyway#Back to Tommy and buck#I really like them together and they better have at least one kiss as intense as buck had with other partners in the past#not just a peck like last week to get diversity points#ya know#shmexy kisses#lety rambles#tuck#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911#911 abc#oliver stark#lou ferrigno jr
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I know my ass says this every time there’s a new season but god DAMN, heartstopper is such a good show for teenagers
#the klock keeps ticking#heartstopper#and also before i go on my ramble let me get my obligatory angy moment out of the way#i wish aled was in the show im never gonna be over this i think isaac is turning out great but like#every time i see him it just feels so wrong lol its like. WHERES MY BOY WHERES MY GUY RADIOOOO#okay anyways#i only watched the first 2 episodes of s3 but damn its just like so good at the tone#so good at being sweet but serious when it needs to be#so good at showing healthy communication methods in a way teenagers can practice#and just like saying that hey. your partner is struggling with something and you arent responsible for fixing them cuz you literally cannot#do that and you are literally 16 theyre gonna need much more than this#and this is a part of growing up and having your relationships mature like you will have to go through shit like this together sometimes#and its a lot but you can still show love and support without straining yourself it just takes practice and patience#im so glad a show like this exists for teenagers cuz damn i havent seen anything be this good for that specific demographic in uh#like ever? something thats so good at acknowledging that teenagers have these problems or drink or have sex#without doing some euphoria bullshit#just tows the line so well
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I don’t really ship 87 Ramona (although I do love the idea of them in a QPR) but. If they did feel romantically for each other it would take forever for them to actually get together, if they even do, in sharp contrast to the 2012 “we’ve known each other two hours now we’re committed for life” speedrun. Raphael would have fallen in love years ago but would not recognise this fact once. Mona Lisa is also part of the problem. She has a layer of superficiality she always uses as protection over her true feelings, so how does she even know her flirting is sincere? How would Raphael be supposed to know? She’d overthink it. Also she’s a lesbian so falling in love with your best friend is like mandated and agonising. She’d have accepted her fate and already resigned herself that it’s never going to happen. She’s just happy they’re close to each other. Meanwhile Raphael thinks “huh, I want to marry her” then goes about his day. This realisation occurs multiple times but he never reads into it.
#tumblr user bulbabutt got me brainrotting about the blorbos again sigh#87!Raphael being aroace means so much to me but he can find his best friend pretty. as a treat#like I think no matter what Mona Lisa is someone who makes him happy in a way no one else does#he sincerely cares about her and thinks highly of her#whether that’s romantically or platonically is second to just have a sincere connection#they’re on the same wavelength!#Raphael has the autistic instinct to view the perfect someone you could do an improv comedy tour with as his forever life partner#also he thinks she’s cute 💖#I can ramble forever about my thoughts on Mona’s perspective on this too but I should probably just save it for a proper post one day#or the fic I’m working on#whichever comes first AHA
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Folks, it is once again doomed lustful gay t4t aro4aro angstful yearning hours again.
#aroallo#alloaro#I feel like I’m so doomed to ever find the relationship I want#it’s so specific that I feel that no one else will feel the same way I do#i want a partner so bad I don’t feel like I can have a good life without one#but like how am I gonna find another non-ace aro transmasc who wants to have fuck nasty sex with me but also be cute and loving together?#non romantically?#whoops almost forgot the most important part lol#I’d prefer an unlabeled relationship but I’ll be fine if my partner wants a label#I say partner but I wouldn’t mind getting caught up in a poly web as long as there isn’t any romance#grah am I asking for too much? I don’t feel like I am but still#ough sorry for the tag ramble#this has just been bottled up in my head for too long and I needed to get it out
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Please infodump about the JayTimSteph Grotesquerie AU WIP if possible.
OF COURSE i've been thinking about it since i saw the trailer and now it's a little brainworm. (disclaimer i've not watched the first two episodes yet, this is like. solely on the vibes of the trailer. some details might change once i. watch the show depending on if i follow it or just go with the vibes the trailer gave me. which also means there will be no spoilers for the show if you care about that.)
the current idea involves Detective!Tim, Nun!Steph, and Priest!Jason. the vague idea for the plot so far is that a serial killer leaves a *very* artful display of a crime scene inside of the church that Jason and Steph operate out of. Tim is assigned as the leading detective on the case and ends up in a relationship with the both of them as he spirals in madness trying to catch the killer.
for Steph, i want to explore the idea of her father, Cluemaster, being a *very* prolific and artful serial killer who's whole gimmick was sending clues to the police until he was caught when Steph was still a child, and her and her mother were forced to go into witness protection for their own safety, which led her down the path of becoming a nun. it was a defining childhood moment for her to walk in on one of her father's crimes, so when she's the one who finds the crime scene in the church, it *immediately* sends her back to her childhood and she's caught between PTSD-fueled horror and a sick, enticing fascination. she wanted to become a journalist before going into WITSEC but that career was basically all but ruined for her. now she runs the small newspaper for the church and is desperate to write on the first "real" story she's ever had, dragging her into an intense obsession over the crime and trying to prove she can solve it.
for Jason, i want to deal with his history as Bruce. the current idea is that Bruce is Tim's police chief who adopted Jason and Dick from a young-ish age and raised them to be detectives, taking them to crime scenes as teenagers and teaching them the ins and outs of how criminals think. it leads to Dick becoming a detective, but when taking them to crime scenes led to Jason being kidnapped and brutally tortured by "Jack Napier", almost dying. Dick kills Napier to save Jason and it fractures their little family so badly that Dick switches departments to another city and Jason runs away at 17, eventually happening upon joining the clergy. he's the new, young priest in the church who's known for being very pretty but very emotionally distant even if he's nice enough. and he's *pissed* that Bruce is in his church investigating a murder and that no matter where Jason goes, he can't seem to get away from the horrors.
and for Tim, he's the young new detective in his department who is *entirely* unaware that he's been taken under Bruce's wing bc Bruce is treating him as a surrogate replacement for Dick and Jason. haven't fully decided his backstory yet, but it'll likely be similar to canon with losing his mother and father. i kind of want him to be lost and lacking a sense of direction. very gifted in noticing patterns and detective work, but it's clear he doesn't *really* want this job. and when he's assigned as the lead on a case that feels *way* too big for his experience bc Bruce is showing clear favoritism, he's forced to go to Steph for help, which leads to Jason ending up wrapped up with them too.
despite how heavy the plot *sounds*, i honestly want this fic to be like. 40% porn. like the show i want to explore a lot of fucked up sexual interests in Jason who's punishing himself for it, Steph being too interested in things for her own good and desperate for a taste of what "real life" feels like, and Tim just being incredibly repressed. like i want the line between horror and erotic to feel like a jumprope. lots of fucked up sex balanced with like. them actually trying to catch the killer. and then of course the emotional aspect of how Jason's baggage with Bruce works into all of it. also want Tim to have a mild hero worship for "the great Detective Dick Grayson" while being clueless that he's Bruce's son and Jason's brother. i sort of want it to be Steph-centric, but still have POVs from Tim and Jason just to round out their emotional arcs. i haven't fully decided everyone else who'll be in the fic but i know i want Cass to be a fellow nun and friend of Steph's, Babs to also work at the church, Helena to be Tim's favorite coworker, and possibly for Damian to be around somehow. those roles will probably get more fleshed out when i. watch the damn show tho.
anyway TLDR: religious imagery, body horror, kinky sex, and a mystery that might break everyone psychologically once they get to the bottom of it. i have some very specific scenes and dialogue planned out. probably cannibalism as a metaphor for love thrown in there too. idk i just want these three to be as fucked up as possible and unhinged about each other but fighting their repressed side with their unhinged feral side. and since it doesn't exist by god I'll create it.
#necrotic answerings#necrotic works in progress#jaytimsteph grotesquerie au#<- temp tag until this fic gets a real name#jaytimsteph#when i shared this idea with my partner they were like. this should just be an original book#and yeah they're right but given it's derrivative of a show i don't think it *can* be. ergo. fanfic.#and i'm *already* writing one fucked up romance book with serial killers and a nun okay i've hit my quota.#but tysm for asking about this anon i was so excited to talk about it.#also! one scene idea i have in my head involves the three of them getting attacked#and jason killing the attacker with tim's firearm. which tim basically snatches from him and takes the blame for the kill#and even tho he's in the clear legally bruce sitll forces him to do a psyche eval that he hates.#and meanwhile jason asks tim to “punish him” not bc he killed the guy but bc he *enjoyed* it.#very fun scene for like. the descent into madness of the three of them getting more and more unhinged trying to solve this case.#like how far are they willing to go type shit#also i have a *lot* of sex scenes planned.#don't ask me who the killer is i haven't decided yet#i'm leaning on it being someone connected to tim tho#just to flesh out his backstory more. so we'll see#anyway i'mso happy to ramble about this fic idea to anyone who wants to ask more about it bc it'll help me develop it more#i've got the basics down but i'm an outline girlie at heart so i need evertrhing planned out for it to work yk.#this is my petition to make more ppl care about jaytimsteph. they're so cool i swear.
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every time I see a “it’s actually totally fine and nbd to have sex you don’t enjoy and are uncomfortable with because your partner wants it and you want them to be happy, as long as you’re giving uncoerced consent!” post I lose a month off my lifespan
#can /some people/ do this and have it be healthy for them? sure#but this is the overwhelming pressure both in a relationship and from society#and ime at least it has fucked me up a lot#to have sex i technically gave uncoerced consent to#where i was uncomfortable and unhappy and doing it to try and make my partner happy#bonus points for ‘it’s just like any other activity! just like you can watch a movie you don’t like for the sake of your partner#you can take a few hours to have sex you don’t like for them’#like come on now.#sex is not in fact psychologically identical to movies for most people#when i was a kid my school often made me watch movies I didn’t like or want to watch#you can say this isn’t ideal but#surely you can see. how this is different. than if they had made me have sex i didn’t want.#whatever WHATEVERRRRRR i know the sentiment is helpful for a lot of ppl#and i probably go too hard in the opposite direction#but im not framing myself as a wise advice giver im just rambling in tumblr tags abt my issues#if i were giving advice. well personally i would try to be more nuanced#than ‘don’t worry about it! it’s fine and normal to have sex you’re uncomfortable with and if you disagree you’re acephobic’#but that’s just me.#therapists dni#oh also I agree that people shouldn’t have to fake ‘normal reactions’ to sex#or to try and have orgasms if that’s unrewarding for them etc#im stone! its complicated! i get it!#but you gotta be careful to give the message ‘it’s complicated’#and not just. encouraging ppl to do things they’re genuinely uncomfortable with to make their partner happy.
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Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything
#rambling about my guy at 3am#its so so sos so important to leo's lore that he wishes he had freedom from the legions while still being inherently loyal to them bc he#cannot break the loyalty that is so fervent in his culture's belief so he doesnt leave and instead tries to be the change he wants to see#in savoring life and preventing reckless deaths and maybe one day allowing for more connections between the charr re their relationships#while also battling with the fact now that he has these chances hes not actually prepared for him#hes defensive about Aurene and he takes a while to admit his feelings for rytlock because of these#does this makes sense me shaking the camera do you see my vision he makes me insane#hes so tired hes sooooo tired but theres this constant weight on him at all times its just not a world ending one but a personal one#javi gw2#leonard echowatcher#this isnt even ABOUT being diallusioned with how the legions disregard lige and treat their soldiers as a numbers game bc thats an entire#different problem this is just abt his more personal struggles.#god i remember describing all his interactions with rytlock (intimacy wise) were all very passionate bc he didnt know how to allow himself#to be vulnerable and gentle#or rather hes scared to be bc its not natural to him#so when they see each other again and leo IS more gentle with him in private that is a huuuge deal#also im definitely not conflating romantic and platonic relationships bc those can be just as important#so im directly speaking about more intimate relationships or regarding whatever leo viewed himself wanting#which was like a partner and a family#sound the alarm this hardened soldier secretly dreams of a domestic fantasy he will never have#is esentially what it is#leo was made to be bbq dad who cleans gravestones and plants flowers for the feceased and is forced into [the entire plot of gw2]#sorry im rambling okay bye
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introducing the shipname blue hydrangeas for me and my f/o…!!! a little rambling about the decision under cut as well and well. in the tags
with the different vivid colors of hydrangeas, each come with their own special meaning in flower language as well!!! i think it’s very important to keep in mind when researching about such language is that they can be different between cultures/not all cultures have the same meaning for a flower (it’s super duper interesting to me that going through victorian era(?) flower language books have hydrangeas in general noted as ‘boastful’ with how little seeds it gave compared to how much flowers it has… and not only that but men sent it to women who rejected them to imply their frigidity, which. is so mean actually.).
blue hydrangeas i believe they’re not seemed as the happiest kind of flower with being given as an apology (stemming from the japanese myth) but i mostly see the flower for its meaning of deep gratitude and understanding which absoluutely applies to s/i (or. well. me but i’m too embarrassed to use the word ‘us’ uuumm) and f/o…!!! sincerity i think is a meaning the flower heavily carries as well and being true to someone like that and having that kind of connection really is what the highlight of their relationship is with what both have been through and stand for. f/o is not extremely trusting, and being laid bare open to someone like that is very unheard of to them until they have s/i in their life and slowly develop a sort of closeness towards him. s/i is somewhat similar to f/o but different in a way that their honesty is quite warped when it comes to people (i’ve mentioned him being a sunshine type of character but there are layers to that, in the way that he finds his truer and more negative emotions irrelevant and keeps the sunshine mask on as he grew more used to it & finds it much easier basically) so the type of relationship for the both of them where they can genuinely be themselves with their guards down is something really special
in a way both are extremely grateful for each other as well for walking into their life and wouldn’t have it any other way
#yeah i was. going to go on more but um LOL#‘a little rambling’ he said. a Little he said. Bro that is Not little#AND IM SORRYFOR THAT. LOL. a little too long i think it’s just my sleepy thoughts#if anyone ever did read the whole thing though i appreciate you with my whole heart. thank you#super hard to articulate my thoughts a lot sometimes#also arent i so smart for the drawing. literally nothing can give away who the hell my f/o is. im literally so smart and they should kiss m#Moving on. actually deciding what the shipname was going to be was super hard though#because i thought of ‘the prince and his partner’ at first but prince is just a petname f/o uses on s/i so…#❥ blue hydrangeas#❥ vels ramblings#self shipping#self ship#my art#self ship art#extra thing but if i got any info wrong you’re free to let me know i didn’t go too much in detail as well abt flower meaning so
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I had to file a missing claim with USPS on Saturday but I fear my Barnaby plush has been lost for good...
I am very sad!! I have to wait more to see if they find it, but I doubt Makeship will be able to send a replacement. (I don't think they would make extras, but who am I to say!)
Normally I am not this emotional of things, but I have been through a lot recently! My Grandpa has metastisized cancer, and we all know he doesn't have long.
I also got him for myself as an early (now late) birthday present to myself. My heart aches!! Poor puppy, lost... Lost lost puppy...
#I don't like rambling on publicly about this stuff but its been a time#and gives some explaination to where we have been!#And why we aren't very active#also other things like my partner's little sister getting back surgery yesterday#shes Okay!! We're just cleaning up the house to make things a little easier for when shes back#just a lot... so much happening...#I just miss my poor barnaby plush! I wish i could hug him#To let me snuggle a little pooch and have him crack a joke or two to make me smile#hopefully he can be found... i just worry because USPS never marked him as received from their shipping partner#auggggh#nothing to be done#its out of my hands ive done what I could#dolly's rambles#barnaby beagle#barnaby b beagle#makeship#barnaby plush
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Did Night Swan favor Mihaly compared to the others at all in Tainted City/Mirrored Walls canon? Was there any relationship between them? I can’t stop thinking about that scene with them in the first chapter of MW when they bury the pin- really intrigued how that setup will pay off! Did/does (If she’s alive??) she view them differently than the others because of some connection, or their raw power? You seem to be setting them up as one of the more powerful of the just dancers, so just wondering if NS saw that too.
I’ve loved both stories, and you do such a great job of balancing so many characters (like them!) while keeping the Wanderrose focus!
Thank you!!! And this is a very interesting question 😈
When they were all Night Swan’s generals during Tainted City, NS didn’t really have much of a “favorite”, per se. Wanderlust was the one she was most excited to have gotten her hands on and she did have some kind of affection for Sara because Earth girls(I think if she were to give up on getting Jack, she might have taken on Sara as her new heir), but other than that they were mostly all on the same level. They each had a specialty she’d exploit for different purposes.
Wanderlust was mostly for political power. When you’re trying to take over the world it’s great to have the prince on your side telling everyone their queen sucks and they should bow down to you. Sara was the unhinged wildcard one. I got big Quinn vibes when I wrote her. There’s just something so fun about “peppy girly girl who will cut you while smiling and giggling like a maniac the entire time”. She’s scary. Brezziana was the brawn, she just wanted to punch things and break bones. Mihaly was the brains. They have the most knowledge of the flow and could strategize the best.
Beyond that, NS mostly saw them all as equal stepping stones in getting to her son. She initially thought taking all of them would make Jack surrender and join her, but when that didn’t work she realized they’d make great weapons anyway.
TLDR in Tainted City, no, I didn’t really intend for there to be more of a connection with Mihaly to NS than there was with any of the others. When it comes to Mirrored Walls, on the other hand, that story’s not over yet. So all I can say on that end is wait and see 🤫
#that was way more info than what you asked but what can I say I love to ramble#and I honestly didn’t think too deeply about the generals’ dynamic while I was writing tainted city so#it was fun to think about#sorry that mostly boils down to ‘shh no spoilers’#but also not sorry#I actually just finished another chapter of mirrored walls today so that’ll be up as soon as my partner gets time to beta read it!#just dance#just dance 2024
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i know I said I was gonna stop posting about it so. sorry about this but
like I've said multiple times. I'm sapphic. I use the label along with pan, as well as the label achillean, because those are the ones that define me. the reason I use(d) the labels dyke an fag are, again, because they define me. I shouldn't have to explain my labels to strangers on the Internet who likely don't know the first thing about me
so I'll probably put it back at some point when I feel more comfortable and all anons about it will be deleted. thank you for your time
#cat's rambles#also !! the argument about it being a lesbian slur !! no !!#if you were walking down the street with your girl partner they're not gonna care if you're#lesbian or bi or sapphic or a girlkisser they're gonna call you a dyke either way if they're homophobic#and it's really just. a label . you can use slurs as labels#okay I think this will be my last post about this thank you for your time sorry
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i'm aroace, sex repulsed and don't get traditional romance or find the need for it, but I still often think how it would be neat to have a gf/partner for other purposes that arent romance and sexual. but it seems impossible to make someone want to date you if you take out those things????
sometimes I think it would be nice to have a gf to do cute gay cosplay photoshoots with. there would be mouth smooching and you usually can't do that with a friend and I don't really want to either, so a gf would be useful for that.
then there's hating showers because they exhaust me and it would be nice to have a gf to wash my hair and stuff for me??? can't call up a friend to do this every time I need to shower. that won't work and I doubt they'd want to/be comfortable doing that.
most friends will end up putting all their priority into their partner and/or family they create. I want someone that will make me their priority and not run off with someone else they start dating and abandon me??? something like that. their priority is cleaning our home together, hanging out together, going shopping and other domestic/partner stuff. they don't do that with someone else or use me temporarily until they can find a partner. so it's essentially dating/being partners. but it looks different from your typical expected romance and partnership.
doesn't matter how aroace I am, I have accepted that a relationship is beneficial in many ways and there's certain things that you can't expect friends to cover and they can't fill. but I have zero interest in looking for a partner in traditional ways that requires small talk/flirting/dates/etc. so that makes me realize i'll most likely not trick someone into partnering with me lmao
the internet seems to call this kind of thing "queer platonic relationship" (did I remember it right?) and you just need to find another sroace person to do it with. but either way, there's no textbook to study for how to get that and where to find these people. it seems harder than the puzzle that is regular dating tbh.
there's that saying "there's other fish in the sea" but i'm a worm in a puddle the other worms got out before they drowned. there's no fish here lmao. my options are so limited that I haven't met a single option yet in my life. there's barely any chance the first aroace person I meet irl will be compatible, or the first compatible person will accept a relationship with an aroace. you know what I mean? any other aroace that's interested in some kind of relationship/partnership and feel like you don't get that whole sea to choose from like everyone else and only have a dried up puddle? 😅
#lee rambles#asexual#aromantic#aroace#im not desperate and not looking. it's just a passing thought sometimes....#when it would be convenient i think about it. like how convenient it would be to find a canadia partner so i csm move there#and move in with my 2 closest friends#and the cosplay thing. that comes up a lot because i currently have a big interest in doing more cosplay stuff#i know i say i dont get romance and flirting stuff but sometimes when i observe others or see it in media#when someone does flirty things to their partner ans the partner gets flustered like a girl calling her gf cute and she gets shy and blushy#sometimes i want someone i can do that to because it amuses me to see people react that way and i like to be amused and make people react#to things lmao. another good use for a gf/partner#not sure if that means i do have some interest in that stuff or if it doesnt count because my reason for it seems different than usual 😅#ALSO. its so hard for me to tell if i truly want a relationship/partnership or if its because society and people around me make me feel like#i have to?????? amd im making uo excuses for why i would need it or would benefit from it? so that i can fit in or something???#i genuinely dont know which one it is and i hate that. could it be a bit of both? i suppose so....hmmmmm
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Holy shit! Maka & CRONA'S VAs??!!!
#my ramblings#I mean I know it's kinda expected that Maka & Soul's VAs return to voice a promo for this 20th anniversary exhibition thing-#-but I never really expected Crona's VA to come back and take part on this promo thing. it's such a treat! I was maybe expecting Kid's VA-#-cuz afaik Mamoru(Kid's VA) is still active in the voice acting career plus Kid is part of the main cast#don't get me wrong. I TOTALLY LOVE hearing Crona's voice again and it was such a pleasant surprise. it's just... idk well unexpected for a-#-minor character (later 'villain') to be the 1st one to make a come back voice alongside with the protagonist instead of one of the main-#-party Maka teamed up with like Kid or Black Star#what does this mean#well.. maybeee?? Kid along with the Thompson sisters and Black Star along with Tsubaki will have their own part in promoting this later on#assuming their VAs would also make a come back#so lack for a better reason they partnered up Maka & Crona for this promo taking account of what happened in the manga and how meaningful-#-their bond is to the story. sooo... safe to assume CROMAKA CANON!!!#lmao my brain is so fried im sorry#this doesn't makes sense. I'm literally just rambling#tho I wish I knew what they were saying...I heard Crona's VA saying 'big chance of (something) is going to be held'#and Maka saying 'Ohkubo-sensei (something something) special video' lol that's as far as my limited JP can understand#I wish there was a transcript or a translation of they said (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ
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🥺🥺🥺 my partner sent me $100 randomly with the message "treat yourself" and when i asked him what it was for he just said "you deserve it"
Y'ALL THIS MAN
#what's the non romantic form of being in love#bc that's me rn.#i love this man so fucking much#i would kill for him. i would die for him. either way what bliss#he's actually everything to me#him and my cat are my world#(also mushroom)#i love my partner so much#i'm so so happy i get to spend my life with him#he's everything#i love him#don't mind me just being sappy on main#i went and bought stuff for dinner with it bc i wanted to make him something for dinner tonigut#bc he has to work but it's a gorgeous day and he's sad he can't be home#so i'm surprising him with ceaser salad and pulled pork sandwiches on cheese buns#and i also bought alcohol so we can sit on the patio and have a drink with dinner#he spoils me and i spoil him 🥰🥰🥰🥰#i love it#my partner#personal rambles#not stargate
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since the stage has a 2nd gen in cast it made me revisit who i think could be leaders of a 2nd gen hypmic cast based on connections to current leaders lol
#vee queued to fill the void#my head is still stuck in khr land so no stage dh rambling today lol but i hope the old thought can suffice lol#dh has such a self contained story idk who else it could be but if it’d be nice to see rosho’s brother if he’s real and not just for the bit#and it’s the joke that brought sasara and rosho together so that’s how it influences sasara lmao#i added alt text of who these guys are lol but idk if it’s there at all so it’s:#samejima ichiro’s first partner yagumo samatoki’s first partner hanabi ramuda’s influence#yotsutsuji lol rosho’s maybe maybe not non existent bro lmao and ren the guy kuukou helped#i kinda want kubiki as a leader but i have mixed feelings about kubiki being a leader and not rio lol#like on one hand kubiki gathered their old team and has been operating it in the shadows#on the other rio deserves to be a leader tbh lol iojaku passed the torch to him too#but i also like having old antagonists as leaders so wwyd lmao
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