#also can you tell that I really like Tommy and buck together and want them to be endgame?

[supercalime]

Just thought about sharing this frame right here

Do with it what you will

[userautumn]

#something something instead of being her replacement abby is the one who mentored maddie when she started working at dispatch.#they became friends outside of work which is how maddie and tommy meet. long after abby leaves los angeles maddie and tommy remain friends#maddie is there when tommy comes out. tommy is there when maddie gets kidnapped#(and personally gives howie his endorsement. he's a good guy and he thinks he's perfect for maddie)#but somehow his path doesn't really cross with buck until after everything with doug. maddie's in the hospital and tommys lingering outside#her room and sees this kid sitting on the hospital floor. he's shaking and crying and doesn't look like he's aware of either of those thing#he's all bloodied up and tommy *aches*. so he goes over and sits next to him. doesn't say anything. just sits and offers support to this#person who is technically a stranger but who *feels* familiar#and buck holds it together for five seconds more before he's leaning toward tommy and sobbing on his shoulder.#it's one of those intimate moments with strangers that are supposed to happen and then become a memory.#neither of them are supposed to see the other again and they don't think they will because they don't exchange names or anything.#but then there's a welcome home party for maddie and chimney at bobby and athena's house and tommy sees him across the room#and it's like magnets pulling them together. they're inseparable for the rest of their lives after that#tv: 911#otp: eye of the storm

can we please have more of this?????? i am on my hands and knees. i am begging. even if it's just bullet points. it's soooooooooooooo.

you asked so nicely, i will give you anything. <3

so. as i was saying. tommy sees buck across the room, and he doesn't... really know how to react. that memory of him, of them, sitting together feels like something precious. it's something he holds in the palms of his hands and looks at during nights when he's feeling fragile and alone and he doesn't really understand why. or. well. he kind of does. no one has ever... needed him for things like that. no one's ever really needed him at all, but no one's ever sought him out for comfort. no one's ever thought he was made of gentle things, that he could be a comforting presence.

so seeing this kid across the room feels... disarming. it also, irrationally, feels unfair. because tommy was so caught up in his feelings about the memory that he almost forgot it's a memory he shares with someone else.

someone who, apparently, can just show up in his life whenever they want.

he ducks away before the kid can see him. they're outside on the patio. he touches maddie's arm - gently, because he can't shake the sight of her in a hospital bed - and nods toward the house where the kid is still visible through the glass doors.

"who is that?"

her brow furrows. she follows his line of sight and the way her face breaks open into the softest, most loving smile tells him everything he needs to know.

"that's your brother," he says before she can.

"yeah." she turns toward him. "wait, have i never introduced you guys before?" tommy's eyes widen as she waves a hand. "buck, come here."

"oh." tommy is panicking. "oh, we don't... we don't really have to do that."

"hush, it's fine."

and that's all she's able to say before buck appears at her side. tommy clocks the moment he recognizes him. it happens the minute buck lays eyes on him. his face turns this beautiful shade of pink that has tommy's heart practically wrenching in his chest. he swallows, his hand tightening around his soda can.

"tommy, this is my little brother. buck, this is tommy." she looks between them. "it's kind of weird how you guys have never met before."

and all tommy can think of is the weight of this kid against his side. the smell of his cologne twining with the copper stench of blood. the protective arm tommy had curled around his shoulders as if daring the world to try to pop the bubble they'd built around themselves.

"yeah." tommy's laugh is thin, brittle. "weird."

buck recovers first and far faster than tommy himself. he holds out a hand. "evan."

tommy shakes his. "tommy."

maddie raises an eyebrow but before she can ask, her attention is being called away by someone or something else. evan nods his head toward the house, and tommy follows. it's quiet inside, everyone except the kids crammed out onto the cement and grass.

here in the kitchen, alone, it kind of feels like their bubble has made a return. it makes the atmosphere far too close, far too intimate for someone tommy's only shared a combined total of fifteen minutes with.

his breath catches in his chest when evan looks at him.

"so," evan says.

"so."

evan ducks his head. oh, he's shy. without the barrier of maddie's kidnapping looming over them, evan is awkward, and so damn sweet he could rot right through tommy's teeth. his heart twists again.

"yeah, so, listen, about the other day..."

"we don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." evan looks up, eyes wide and surprised. did he think tommy was going to make him? "i mean it. we can just forget about it if you want."

"no. i-i mean, i don't... want. i mean." evan huffs in a way that's supposed to be a laugh but falls flat and circles around to uncomfortable, unsure. "it's - my captain, bobby, he's... he wasn't answering his phone that day. and he's... he's more than just my captain, he's like... he's kind of like my dad, i guess. and he wasn't answering his phone. eddie wasn't answering his phone. my sister almost died -" his tongue trips over the word even now "- and i... i needed somebody. and you were there." he looks up at tommy and meets his gaze head-on, and it's at that moment that tommy learns that evan is, was, and always will be braver than he will ever be. "so, thank you."

tommy's soda can has gone warm in his hand. he knocks back the rest of it, if only for want of something to do, and sets the empty can on the counter.

evan watches him throughout the entire thing.

"i don't - i mean - it was nothing. i was just... doing what anyone else would do."

evan turns his head, a little half-shake like it's an argument he wants to have but won't. together, they look out toward the patio. howie sits beside maddie, his arm thrown over her shoulder, her hand on his thigh. they treat each other so gently, like they're both fragile things that deserve to be cradled. it's beautiful. tommy wants that one day.

when he turns, evan is already looking at him.

evan nudges his shoulder with his knuckle. "well, thanks, is all i wanted to say."

tommy shakes his head before the words are even finished leaving his mouth. "you don't ever have to thank me for that." it scares him how much he means it. "but, thank you for..." for letting me hold you, for letting me take care of you, even if just for a moment. thank you for letting me be the type of person i've always tried to be. tommy clears his throat. "just thank you."

evan's mouth turns up into a tiny little smile. he changes his voice to mimic tommy's and says, "you don't ever have to thank me for that."

tommy laughs. oh this one's sweeter than pure sugar, isn't he?

they look back out over the party for only a moment before bobby peeks his head in.

"cake time," he says before he disappears back outside.

cake time it is, then.

tommy gestures for evan to go ahead of him and, halfway to the backdoor, evan turns to make sure he's still following him. how silly. of course tommy's still following him. he's starting to think that this is becoming a recurring theme in his life. evan will march somewhere, and tommy will follow close behind. he winks and gives him a small smile, one that evan returns before he turns around again.

the cake is half-chocolate, half-vanilla, quite literally split in two because maddie and howie are the same in all the ways that matter and vastly different in all the ways that don't. evan hovers at his back and takes a paper plate when tommy offers it. they stick to each other's sides like saran wrap until the evening blends from dusk to nightfall, barely speaking to one another but never straying far from each other's orbits.

it's the damndest thing. years later, tommy still won't be able to explain it. when asked, the only word he comes up with is magnetism, something fundamental and cosmic that always, always pulled them back to each other.

they're the last to leave at the end of the night.

tommy watches from the driveway while evan hugs bobby and his wife goodbye, and then they're alone. it's not awkward, it can't possibly be when they've shared so much yet so little. but it feels... weighted. warm. heavy and scary, like holding a ten pound weight while balancing at the edge of a cliff. one wrong move, and you fall, and fall, and fall...

evan leans against the side of his jeep and faces him. "well."

"well."

"it's getting late, i guess i better leave."

"i guess so."

neither of them move. in both of their hands are tupperware full of cake and enough food that tommy won't have to cook for at least two days. having his hands full is not conducive for what he wants to do. what he wants to do is lean in, breathe evan's air, drag his nose along the line of his neck, and jaw. press his lips to evan's to see if they really are as soft as they look. but. well. he can't kiss someone he's just met.

can he?

"listen." tommy finds his mouth moving without his own permission. "i work down at harbor. you should come by sometime, i would love to show you around."

evan's eyes brighten. "really?"

"yeah. maybe i can even take you up in the air."

"i - yeah. yes, that sounds awesome, i -" he softens. "i would love that."

tommy swallows. his heart hammers in his chest. he clears his throat. "so, ah. it's a... it's a date then?"

evan's cheeks flush that lovely pink again.

"yeah. yeah, i - i guess it is."

a beat passes. tommy really does have to go. his hands are cramping from holding his goodies and he's got work in the morning. but before he can say as much and take his leave, evan swoops in. he presses a quick, barely there kiss to his cheek and then steps back. his eyes are wide, like he's surprised by himself, but he looks giddy. mischievous. precious.

he nods his head back toward his jeep. "okay. i'm going to go now."

tommy nods. his face is on fire. "okay."

"okay. i - bye."

tommy's face softens into a smile. "bye, evan."

he steps back while evan wrestles with his car keys. evan all but tosses his goodies into the passenger seat and then waves goodbye. tommy watches as he backs out of the driveway, watches as evan waves again before he pulls off. and then tommy's left in the still silence of a los angeles night, a feeling in his gut like something is pulling, tugging, drawing him toward the brake lights at the end of the street.

something like magnetism, isn't it?

[god-i-hope-so]

Buck receives the call from Tommy's captain himself in the middle of the night, during his shift. He's Tommy's new emergency number, he's also been at the center of a recent discussion with Tommy's captain about it, after years of not having a real emergency number except his closest coworkers.

Buck arrives at the hospital, a little frantic, still in his uniform. He knows it's "not life threatening" but bad enough for Tommy to undergo emergency surgery. Captain Garcia meets him near the lobby, his left hand in a thick bandage, his arm in a sling.

"Firefighter Buckley? Evan Buckley? Captain Garcia. I wish we'd met under different circumstances."

"Captain."

"We were on a fire near the station, the structure collapsed, probably due to a weakness we couldn't see. A rebar went through his thigh, lots of bleeding, but he should be okay."

"Should?"

"I'm not a doctor, son, but I know when a man's dying. And he wasn't."

Captain Garcia is clear and to the point, and Buck appreciates it.

Waiting alone in the lobby of the hospital in the middle of the night wasn't on his plan for this shift. He could have called Maddie but it was 2 am when he got the call. He'll call her later.

Then a woman and two very sleepy young children sit not too far from him. While she settles the kids on the seats next to her, their head on her lap, her eyes land on Buck.

"You're Evan, right?" she asks in a low voice.

Buck is surprised, he doesn't know her, doesn't recognize her face.

"I'm Sophie, er, Dan's wife, Tommy's coworker. They were together when it happened. I know we never met but I've heard of you and Philip- Captain Garcia told me you were already here."

She looks at him with kind eyes behind her tired and worried expression.

"It's- It's nice to meet you, Sophie. I'm sorry, I- I don't-"

"It's alright, I know Tommy is a very private man." She sighs. "He and Dan have been working together for seven years now. Dan has always been the kind to easily befriend people but Tommy was quite the challenge when he was transferred at the station!"

Her smile is genuine. She's picking at her nails, her hands slightly shaking.

"Can I get you something warm to drink?" Buck proposes, already standing up. He needs to move, idly waiting has never been his thing.

"Oh, coffee? Thank you."

"No problem. Anything for them?" he looks at the sleeping children, realizing they're younger than he first thought.

"Water, for later maybe, I don't want to wake them up."

"Of course."

His smile feels stiff on his own face. He shouldn't be here, meeting the wife of Tommy's coworker on the cold plastic seats of the hospital. He should be with his team, sending bad jokes and flirty messages to Tommy who would indulge him.

When he comes back from the vending machine, Sophie is typing on her phone and doesn't see him.

"Here you go," he says softly, not wanting to startle her.

"Thank you." She tastes the coffee, makes a face and sighs. "At least you know the job," she says with a small smile.

"I guess I do. But..."

"I know. It's worse sometimes, because you know what really happens." She lowers her eyes on her coffee cup, swirling the dark liquid in it. Her loose braid slowly comes undone, letting strands frame her face. "Let's meet again around a meal, when our men are better, yes?"

Our men. Buck never thought about Tommy that way, as part of "our men". He nods.

"I'd love that. Thank you, Sophie."

He wonders if that's what if feels to be a "firefighter's wife", to be the partner of a first responder, meeting around unfortunate events and making plans for better days. Sophie shares stories about the station in hushed voice, telling Buck about the people there, the others wives and partners, the children, the parties and the solidarity. Of course, everything sounds very familiar to Buck, but it's like hearing stories from another family.

Then he hears Tommy's name being called and for a second, he feels dizzy. Sophie almost gets up with him then smiles at him. He realizes he didn't ask about Dan, but he'll make sure to stay in touch through Tommy.

The surgeon is in a hurry but takes a few minutes to explain what she did and what will happen next. Tommy will be fine, his leg will recover but the muscle has been badly damaged and it'll take him some time to go back to his daily routine. Even longer before being able to go back to work.

The room is quiet when he enters, safe for a regular and reassuring beep. Buck hesitates a second, seeing Tommy like that feels crushing, even if his sleeping face looks relaxed. His fingers slip into Tommy's hand before gently squeezing it. Feeling his warmth on his palm soothes his nerves.

"Hey, babe."

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

Listen, can we get recognition of the son and father relationship in s8 please.

"Huh." Hens eyes follow the back of Bucks retreating back as Bobby looks on as well. "I thought he would have a bigger reaction than that. He was so desperateto get rid off Gerrad." Hen pondered, looking at Bobby who had stepped in the station now fully back as Captain of the 118.

Everyone had celebrated at the news...

Except Buck, who was subdued at best when Bobby announced he was back at the helm of the station.

"Wonder what that's about." Bobby frowned, his stomach already churning at what was to come.

What came next was nothing.

At least nothing from Buck.

No chats, no hugs, no smiles, and no interest in cooking for the team or even helping Bobby cook.

Buck was fine when it came to communicating during calls. Ever the professional.

Too professional for Bobby's liking.

And it didn't go unnoticed by the team.

He had tried to approach Buck about before the end of the shift during his fourth day back but Buck had rebuffed his efforts to talk.

They hadn't talked since he came back, Buck wasn't even talking during team dinners.

Sure he would talk to Eddie, Hen, Ravi, and Chim- all smiles and laughter with the team.

But it was just silence with Bobby.

Bobby had it by day 7 of his return and vowed to actually confront Buck at home.

(Bobby refused to be upset about not realizing that Buck had moved in with Tommy at some point. How had Buck not told him that? That was a really big life changing decision and milestone)

(Of course Bobby had missed the irony of him being upset at Buck)

He drove the extra 40 minutes from DTLA to Silver Lake, he had thankfully been able to find Tommy's address through some old work emails.

"Bobby? What are you doing here?" Tommy asked once he opened the door.

"Is Buck here?"

Tommy's jaw ticked at that, "He's out for a run, should he back soon." He opened the door wide and stepped aside. "Come in."

Bobby nodded in thanks and came into the house. He had to admit to himself, he and Tommy weren't close. It always felt as though they both were keen on putting a wall between them, that line between being professional and overly friendly. Bobby knew why his own reason for doing so, it just took for Buck and Tommy to be dating for him to put together Tommy's reason for the wall as well.

He didn't know what to expect when stepping into Tommy's house. But it felt warm and lived in, it was neat but there were a few knickknacks here and there, pictures of random sites and people with Tommy (including a lovely framed photo of Tommy and Buck at the awards ceremony), and a lot of plants.

He also noticed a few familiar items that he was sure belonged to Buck.

"Can I get you something to drink? Juice? Tea? Water?" Tommy offered, leading them towards the kitchen.

"Waters fine, thanks." Bobby took a quick look around the kitchen, taking a seat at the kitchen nook table.

"So...any particular reason for the drop in visit?" Tommy asked, sounding blase as got three glasses of water, setting aside one on the kitchen island.

Bobby nodded and gave out a meek thank you as Tommy sat from across him.

"I-uh, I'm not sure." Bobby admitted, he looked up at Tommy quizzically. "Has Buck told you anything? I mean, has he been different recently?"

Tommy arched a brow at that. "Bobby, if you're asking if I know why Buck has been giving you the silent treatment at work, you can just ask outright."

Bobby's eyes widened and he knew his mouth was hanging open as well. "So you know the reason then?" He asked the other man cautiously.

Tommy nodded, twisting the glass between his hands.

"Can you tell me why? I've been trying to figure it out but he won't talk to me." Bobby pleaded, "He's acting weird around me. He doesnt want to talk, doesnt want to help me out with cooking duties. He doeant even call me Cap anymore."

Tommy nodded sagely. "I know."

"Can you tell me why?"

He watched as Tommy looked crestfallen at that and sighed before explaining to Bobby. "No, because it's not my place and Evan knows he can trust me. And as much as I respect you Bobby, I respect my boyfriend more."

Bobby pressed his lips together, mildly annoyed and impressed that Buck had found a partner that had his back like this.

Bobby rubbed his face tiredly, shoulders slumping in defeat as he mumbled. "Yeah."

"Safe to assume he's doing his job, right? Responding to calls and orders." Tommy leaned back in his seat, arms crossed. "He's talking and treating you the way he typically would with another captain. You put on the uniform, respond to calls, take orders, and go home."

That had Bobby sit up straight. He felt a weird sense of deja vu at the words- he was unsure if he had said the words before or if someone else had. It felt familiar and bitter all at once.

Tommy looked at him with an imploring expression.

"Because this is a job and not a family." Bobby finished hollowly....

He had said the same thing to Tommy and the rest of the 118 when he had started as Captain.

He said the same thing a few times to Buck too after Buck had started at the station, but it never stuck.

Buck had wormed his way into Bobby's life and heart. Despite trying for all the years to make sure he had never treated Buck differently, he knew he had a soft spot for him.

Athena knew.

Hen knew.

May even knew.

A part of him knew that Buck was aware of it too.

Which was why Bobby was at his ropes end in trying to figure out how his relationship with Buck was now at the step before first step.

It was though they had pressed the reset button on their relationship it this time, it was Buck making sure that they weren't a family.

"Exactly." Tommy pointed at him knowingly, a sad smile that had Bobby feeling more guilt ridden for their relationship.

"Tommy, I-Im so-"

"Y'know the one thing I admire about Evan? Is that he's selfless and resilient as hell, but he's not gonna force someone to love him and he's not gonna settle either. It's either all or nothing, which I definitely appreciate because I want it all with him." Tommy's smile was fond, "I know Evan cares for a lot for the people he considers to be his family, I just wish that they thought the same for him."

Bobby frowned at that, thinking hack to the times where he and the others had been there for Buck when he was hurt.

He was about to retort back when he heard Buck's voice and foot steps approaching them, "Hey baby, you wouldn't mind if we skip the movies toni-"

Buck froze on the spot, his demeanor switching quickly to something darker and moodier as he asked Tommy "What's the captain doing here?"

Both men stood up but only Tommy went to Buck's side.

"He wanted to talk to you." Tommy explained gently, he rubbed Buck's back in comfort. "I know you're pissed but it might help to talk to him. Even just to get closure." Tommy advised.

Bobby frowned at that, still unsure to what led to Buck essentially giving him the silent treatment.

He watched as Tommy whispered something into Buck's ear and saw how Buck's eyes widened and hardened again. His looked straight at Bobby with a disappointed frown.

"Just talk to him." Tommy pressed, "You might get some answers you've been wanting to get." He kissed Buck on the temple ans squeezed his hand, "I'll be in the living room if you need me, okay?"

Buck nodded, letting their hands linger and trace over their arms as they pulled away. "Okay, yeah."

Buck licked his lips, rubbing his face tiredly with the bottom of his shirt. "You really don't get why I'm so angry at you?" He asked Bobby, his voice heavy with confusion, hurt, and frustration.

"No," Bobby stressed, waving his arms out in frustration. "Honestly Buck? I don't get where any of this is coming from. I figured you of all people would be relieved that I would be coming back."

Buck nodded, not in agreement but just because as he slumped down in the seat that Tommy had vacated.

"Yeah," Buck sighed, "but that doesn't undo what you did, Captain."

It was the Captain that did it.

It was the final straw.

Bobby slammed his hands against the table. "Damn it, Buck. What the hell did I do in the first place? What exactly?!

Buck took a deep breath in, his blue eyes dark and wide but his voice was rough- on the verge of tears as he told Bobby "You were planning on leaving and you didn't even bother to tell me."

For all the bubbling anger that Bobby had felt, it only took Buck's shaky voice to break his demeanor.

"Oh."

[wannabanauthor]

I want a slow burn BuckTommy fanfic.

And I mean slow burn.

I want them hanging out, grabbing a beer, going to the movies, and spending time with Eddie.

Then one day, Eddie asks Buck if he can drop something off to him at Tommy’s house. Buck knocks on the door when he gets there and is greeted by a shirtless Tommy.

Tommy says they’re sparring in Muay Thai, and Buck’s like “can I watch?” And then spends the entire time salivating over Tommy without knowing what he was feeling.

Buck convinces himself that he’s only admiring Tommy’s body because Buck is also a fitness enthusiast.

Then Eddie leaves, and Buck barely notices because he’s staring at Tommy.

Tommy is not an idiot. He knows when another guy is checking him out, but he thinks it’s better to let Buck figure it out on his own.

Buck has different plans though. He takes off his shirt and is like “teach me Muay Thai”.

Now Tommy is the one staring. Maybe he starts asking Buck about his tattoos and even touched one and asks if it hurt to get them, meanwhile Buck has to restrain a moan in his throat.

Tommy just raises an eyebrow and continues asking about the tattoos. Then they do some light Muay Thai training, and Buck takes a cold shower when he gets home.

He has a wet dream about Tommy that night, and he still doesn’t know what to do because he’s not into men, right? Everyone makes a strangled sound when a hot guy with a great body touches them, right? He also finds himself with an erection that refuses to go away. So he gets himself off, and near the end Tommy pops into his mind, and he comes harder than he ever has in his life.

A few days later, Buck’s leg starts acting up, so Eddie asks Tommy to check on Buck and see if he needs anything while Eddie has to work.

Tommy comes over with food and entertainment to take Buck’s mind off the pain. Buck is happy and grateful, and is also a spoiled princess and puts his legs on Tommy’s lap, and Tommy gives him a leg massage. To both legs. Maybe it turns into a full body massage to help Buck relax.

Buck is practically in love but doesn’t know how to deal with or even properly acknowledge his feelings.

Later on during a shift, Tommy and Buck get called to the same accident site. They work really well together, and the people they save tell Buck that his boyfriend is very good at his job, and he’s like “my what now?”

Tommy pretends not to hear anything, but he’s quickly losing control of patience and willpower. He wants to make a move so badly, but he doesn’t want to freak Buck out.

So one night, Buck is elbow deep in Tommy’s social media profile and comes across an old post of Tommy kissing another man and referring to him as boyfriend. When I say elbow deep, I mean he’s 3 years into Tommy’s post history.

Seeing Tommy with another guy makes Buck feel angry, but he refuses to acknowledge why. Until he sees Tommy and accidentally confronts him.

Like maybe they’re sitting on a couch, Tommy takes a swig of his favorite craft beer that Buck bought him, and Buck just blurts out “are you gay?”

Tommy doesn’t even choke in surprise. He just says yep nonchalantly.

And then…stay tuned for the next update. This might be a summary fic (my term for a fanfic that’s more an in depth summary rather than actual fleshed out fic).

I want to see how long I can go on without having them kiss. I want longing and yearning and sleepless nights. Wait, omg, what if there’s only one bed in their hotel room in Vegas. What if they get drunk and accidentally get married? They try to get it annulled, but Buck’s like “wait a minute, we get a tax break” and Tommy has to be like “I think that’s called fraud.”

There are so many ways I can drag this out.

[thegunslingerletmedrop]

Hi, I'm @thegunslingerletmedrop and welcome to my TommyTalk.

Guys, it's been great. The discourse is fun. We're all happy. We're all hopeful. We're all trash for Tommy Kinard.

This guy took Evan Buckley out. And you know what? Buck said "we picked a place" but I bet that was more Tommy laid out some safe options, guessing full well that Buck would choose the most out of the way spot. And he was cool with that. Like, he said oh I know why you went with this place but it's cool bc their food is great and that's what matters.

And then he doesn't want to choose the movie for them. He wants to go into this together, wants to know what Buck finds interesting. And so he gives Buck 18 screens with every type of genre so that 1) Buck has a good time and 2) Buck will be comfortable.

Then comes the Bucked moment and you can tell he's disappointed. He even tsks like he's marked a 'too bad' note next to Evan Buckley's crossed out name. But hey, no harm no foul. Better sooner than later.

And then he gets a call from Buck and he's not harboring bad feelings so he doesn't say no. Then he shows up and this guy. This guy, right here, doesn't make a move to sit down. Because they're in a super public spot probably not far off the beaten path and as far as he knows, this isn't a date. It's probably an apology meeting that he doesn't really need but figures Buck does.

He only sits when Buck motions for him too. And then he of course lets Buck know that he doesn't want to pressure him into anything. And then the tables turn and Evan is taking Eddie's advice and does a Buck. He goes all in. He asks the crazy question of going to Maddie's wedding with him.

And a beautiful thing happens. Tommy Kinard is stunned, and off balance, and very clearly tempering his expectations (which he will have to get used to if he sticks with Buck). But you also notice he hesitates. It's not a fast 'okay'. And part of it is not being sure if Evan really means it and another part is holding back because this feels a little reckless.

He looks like he wants to say no but when Buck is being earnest, there's something about Buck that is just so irresistible and sweet that even though he would say no to anyone else, he lets himself say yes in this moment. What the hell, right?

All this to say, I stan Tommy Kinard and want him to be happy. And if he ends up leaving I will clown for him forever.

[epiphainie]

I see and love all your tearjerker proposal ideas, but we don’t talk enough about the absolute hilarity that would ensue with an Evan Buckley Proposal™️. Like I’m imagining him being soooo excited about it in the most Buck way possible. He has this ten page speech about how much he loves Tommy and how they’re soulmates and the universe pulled a sick one by putting them on each other’s paths and he’s planning to tell Tommy all that before he pops the question and he’s preparing this big romantic night for it with the most romantic flowers and the most romantic music and the most romantic ring at the most romantic place in all of Los Angeles and he’s roped in everyone at the station to help him, threatened Chim with cold-blooded murder if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut, made Eddie reassure him about every step of his plans not twice but thrice, talked to Bobby with blushing cheeks and fidgeting hands till Bobby gave him his absolute blessing. Hen, Maddie, Athena, they’re all in on it. He’s Ready to do it The Right Way.

Then at like 2pm on a lazy Tuesday afternoon his poor brain that has been overworking on this for weeks gets overloaded and crashes. And suddenly he Needs To Ask Tommy Right Now. Like, just like that the entire plan is overridden, and he doesn’t even process what he’s doing before he sends Eddie a text that just says, “I think I will do it now” and ditches his phone and marches to the garage where Tommy has been working on his truck all day.

The next thing we know Eddie is opening his door to a Buck who has his arms wrapped around himself and his big blue eyes are filled with tears. He looks like a puppy kicked a thousand ways and before Eddie can even open his mouth he cries out, “He said no,” and drops face first on Eddie’s couch. Eddie is like ???? but also “Well, I can’t deal with this shit on my own,” so he calls Hen and Chimney and ten minutes later Buck is sitting on the couch being interrogated by his best friends.

They’re all obviously confused.

Hen, disbelieving, asks, “He said no?”

Buck makes the most pathetic pitiful sound known to the human kind and nods.

Chimney, not really helpful, murmurs, “Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” to himself because he knows how much Tommy loves Buck and would say yes to marrying him months, hell, years ago.

Hen, trying to make sense of it all asks, “What did he exactly say?” because Chim is right, it doesn’t make a lick of sense.

Buck, still looking like a wet cat, goes, “He said it wasn’t the right thing for us.” His voice hitches and he moans, “He said it wasn’t s-smart.”

Hen and Chim shoot a look at each other. Eddie at this point is getting angry because what the fuck? Which is exactly what he says and Hen, the only one trying to be actually somewhat helpful, shakes her head like, “No, Eddie,” and then to Buck with what she hopes is a reassuring voice says, “Maybe he just doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage?”

Buck looks even more miserable at that and buries his face in his hands as he bemoans “Noooo,” and shakes his head like he’s grieving. “We t-talked about it before. At the beginning of our relationship, we both agreed we’d do that if it felt like the right time.” He slumps back on the couch like his life has just ended. “I t-thought it was the right time.”

Eddie, totally pissed off now because how are you gonna be with a guy for years, move in together, buy a house together, be committed to each other fully, and then say no to his marriage proposal, goes, “Oh fuck him. Do you want me to beat some sense into him?” Because damn, this is his best friend who looks absolutely crushed and Eddie will kick Tommy’s ass, fuck the fact that he’s really good at Muay Thai, he hasn’t seen Eddie’s wrath before.

Hen, still the sound of logic and seeing how Buck gets sadder each passing moment, stops him again. “We’re not beating anyone up.” Then says, “Buck, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding. Tommy loves you.” Because yeah he does in the most sickening teen boy with a puppy crush way, so none of this makes sense and Hen’s brain is whirring but she’s not sure what’s happening yet. “And you love Tommy.”

Buck, hands covering his face again moans into his palms, “I do.” Then his hands drop, and his face shot with panic and fear he goes, “Wait?! Does this mean we broke up?”

A pissed-off, disbelieving noise leaves Eddie; Chim shoots another look towards Hen’s way; Hen just gives an awkward unsure smile. “No. No.” She tries to reassure him. “Of course not.”

“I mean,” Chim says with a shrug. “I don’t see how a relationship comes back from that, you know?”

This gets Buck start crying again.

“You’re. Not. Being. Helpful. Chim.” Hen mutters.

Eddie jumps up, “Oh, I’m beating him up for you.”

Buck’s wails get louder.

It all devolves from there with Buck going between hollering and sniffling and Eddie dead-set on confronting Tommy and Hen trying to do damage control with “We’re just gonna talk to him,” and Chim continuing to be absolutely unhelpful with his comments about how Tommy is great, and so cool, and perfect, and he’d make a great brother-in-law, and this doesn’t make any sense.

So, the four of them somehow find themselves marching towards the Buckley-Kinard house with Eddie at the helm and Buck looking like a pathetic mess between them. They’ve barely entered the front yard when Tommy bursts out the front door with his phone in his hand and he goes, “Where have you been?! I’ve been calling you for hou—”

“I trusted you, man!” Eddie shouts, voice echoing through the street.

Tommy stops in his tracks. He takes in the sight of his friends who are all shooting him deadly (and confused) glares. Then he looks at his boyfriend and finds him avoiding his eyes, keeping his gaze at his feet like all the happiness has been sucked out of his entire universe. Brows furrowing in confusion, Tommy takes a step towards him. “Evan.” He tilts his chin up and sucks in a breath when he sees the tear tracks on Buck’s face. His own face crumbles, now in concern. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Eddie lets out a mirthless laugh. “Pretending you don’t know, huh?”

Tommy looks at him, at Chim, at Hen. “Don’t know what?”

“Oh, you’re a bigger asshole than I thought, Kinard.” Eddie spits in his face, his head shaking. “Acting like nothing’s wrong after saying no to a guy’s proposal so cruelly.”

Tommy freezes. His gaze snaps to Buck with a confused, “What?” but Buck is avoiding his eyes again. “What proposal?” Tommy asks. “Evan didn’t propose to me.”

At this point all tired and beaten Buck sighs, “It’s okay, Tommy.”

“No. No—” Tommy shakes his head. “What are you talking about?”

Buck shrugs. “We don’t have to talk about it now.”

“Evan.”

Sighing again, Buck finally looks up. “Look, I get it. We can talk about it later.” He chews at his lip. “Right?” Because he’s still not sure if they’re broken up or not and god he really wishes they’re not because marriage is a dumb institution rooted in patriarchy to maintain and reinforce traditional gender roles and they didn’t even let two men marry till a decade ago, so it’s not like they need anyone’s acknowledgement and all he needs is Tommy, but also he had the absolute perfect ring picked out and he doesn’t know if he can get a refund on it, and calling Tommy his husband would be so fucking nice, and maybe he has been dreaming about that for the past however many years.

At this point, he’s tearing up again, so Tommy cups his face and brushes away some of the tears, before saying with the biggest gentlest eyes, “We can talk about anything you want. But… Baby, what proposal?”

Buck sniffles. “Earlier. W-when I asked you in the garage.”

Tommy frowns harder because that doesn��t make any sense. “You didn’t ask me to marry you, Evan.”

“Yes, I did, Tommy,” Buck huffs.

“No, you asked me if I wanted to take a vacation.”

“I think I know what I asked.”

“You said you wanted to go on a trip!”

“That’s not what I said!”

“Okay, you didn’t say trip! You said, you said something like if I wanted to take a new journey with you! Embark on adventure or something. You said you wanted a travel companion for a voyage!”

“Lifelong voyage.” Buck murmurs, lips pursing and arms crossing together. “For our grand adventure together.”

No one says anything for a minute as Buck avoids their eyes and scuffs his feet in the dirt.

At last, as the person with any semblance of intelligence Hen says, “Buck. Did you use any word related to marriage? Like “husband” or “marry” or even “matrimony”?” Her eyebrows rises. “Anything that’s not a metaphor?”

Buck, face red up to the hairline now, just shrugs. “I had a-a speech, okay? I was n-nervous and it was long so I had to paraphrase.”

Finally, Hen sighs, not unkindly.

Chim chuckles, kinda unkindly.

Eddie looks almost as embarrassed as Buck and murmurs, “Sorry, man,” to Tommy as the realization hits it was just his best friend being a huge dumbass and Tommy actually didn’t do anything to deserve a beating.

Tommy, his entire focus on his boyfriend and not paying them any attention, pulls Buck’s arms down and lifts his face up again. He gives him a smile. “I said no because I thought you were asking to go on a trip, Evan,” he says softly. “And that we’ve just got a mortgage together and can’t afford one.” He shakes his head. “I was covered in grease, Pearl Jam was playing in the background, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Still looking abashed but at least not snotty anymore, Buck says, “N-no. No. It’s my fault. I’m sorry, Tommy,” he says with a shrug.

Tommy smiles again. “It’s okay, baby.” For a moment, he rubs his boyfriend’s arms up and down, then says, “Sooo…”

Buck, realizing the faint pink on his boyfriend’s face, looks at him with the roundest eyes. “You mean…?”

“Well…” Tommy shrugs. “Are you gonna ask me for real or what?”

The sun dawns on Buck’s face. His eyes go bright with fresh but happier tears. “Yea-yeah.” He nods frantically. “Tommy. W-will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Tommy says. Buck pounces on him with a kiss that gets a surprised moan from him as Hen, Chimney, and Eddie start clapping and Buck cries again and so does Tommy and later that night, Buck gives him the perfect ring he had picked out and come Saturday they actually go to the greatest restaurant in LA and Tommy listens as Buck explains every step of his original proposal and all the metaphors he’s curated carefully for his speech.

The end.

[kinardsevan]

I can't stop thinking about an alternative timeline where Buck and Tommy have an amazing first date (drinks, meal, movie etc), but it only goes so perfectly because Buck hasn't realised he'd asked Tommy out on a date!

As there's no pressure Buck's happily flirting and being himself, so excited as he's hanging out with this super cool guy, that he's had all of his attention so evening, right up until Tommy walks him to his front door and smooches him.

Then when he's alone, all dazed and giddy, he kind of traces back over the whole night and realises his much sense it all makes, and He Has A Boyfriend!

oh anon. I don't now if this was intended to be a prompt, but it became one 😂

It felt like the world had just dropped at his feet. The way Tommy’s lips brushed over his, tongue sliding along his bottom lip and then suddenly inside, with one hand curled under Evan’s chin and the other on his hip, pulling him in. And like… he hadn’t expected any of it. But the way everything inside his chest felt when Tommy’s lips were on his, so gentle and unexpecting, was as though all the water had been sucked out of the earth, leaving him standing on the ground floor of the ocean, entirely unaware of where he was, and yet so utterly fascinated by all that surrounded him. A world he’d never seen, let alone touched. 

But then Tommy pulls away and it almost feels like he’s lost something, which doesn’t really make sense because how can you lose something that doesn’t exist? Tommy steps back, his gaze moving from Evan’s to his lips and then back up, a small, warm smile on his own lips. 

“Goodnight, Evan,” he murmurs, and then he’s turning to walk away, and the blonde is just standing there, watching the other man retreat towards the elevator, enamored and a little breathless. 

He feels he’s trying to solve a crossword puzzle backward. Like someone gave him all the answers, but didn’t tell him any of the questions. He’d offered to buy Tommy a beer, and that had turned into dinner and a movie, both of which Tommy had paid for, and that…that was a date, he realizes. Which is kind of wild, because sure, he enjoys checking out a hot guy’s ass from time to time—he’s definitely noticed Tommy’s—but he’s never pieced two and two together, thought he could have something like this…

He whips his head over then, hears the familiar sound of the around the corner at the end of the hall, and takes off running, making it around the corner just as Tommy starts to step towards the open doors. 

“Wait,” he states, more breathless now. Tommy raises his eyebrows at him, curious. 

Evan stands there for a moment, questioning himself, the right next move. Is there a right next move? He’s not sure. 

Tommy lets out a knowing smile in his direction, and that flips the switch for him. He crosses the six feet between them and slides his hand across Tommy’s neck, pulling him back in, this time his tongue seeking the invitation. Tommy’s hand is on his back then, pressing their torsos together, leaning into the kiss. Evan moans softly into his mouth, feeling like someone just plugged him in like a Christmas tree because he’s suddenly lit up from head to toe. 

“Hmm,” Tommy hums softly, finally pulling away a beat later. He has that same smile on his face, and while one part of Evan just wants to inhale him whole in one fell swoop, he’s also not ready. 

“That was nice,” Tommy rasps, brushing a thumb over Evan’s bottom lip. Evan smiles back at him, lean back in and kisses him one more time, light and chaste. When he pulls away, he takes a moment before opening his eyes, relishing in it. 

“I really have to go now,” Tommy murmurs to him, taking a step towards the elevator. Evan’s hand slides off his neck, down his arm to his hand, squeezing gently before he lets it go. 

“Goodnight,” he says softly, just the slightest dusting of pink in his cheeks. 

Tommy smiles back at him. “Good night. I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

[aplaceinme]

For @leashybebes

Thank you so much for requesting this! I really hope you like it!! 💜💜

Song number 73 is “Wildfire” by SYML

“Tommy?” Buck asks, letting himself inside Tommy’s place. 

They had given each other’s keys about a month ago in case of emergencies. It is also a way for them to get inside, and get comfortable while waiting for the other to come home from a shift. After all, it’s quite common for one of them to be late due to a call taking too long. 

They weren’t supposed to meet tonight, but Buck is worried about Tommy. They have hardly texted today, which is weird for them since they are always exchanging texts during their shifts. Even if one of them is not working while the other is –a strange circumstance since they made sure to try to have the same shifts– they are still texting each other about random stuff. Except for today. That, together with the fact that yesterday Tommy canceled on him saying he had a migraine, has made Buck start spiralling with worry. 

Buck has been trying to control his insecurities, to stop thinking that everyone will walk away from him, and since dating Tommy he has gotten better at that. Tommy has an uncanny ability to reassure Buck in different ways. He does it in the way he looks at him, with fondness and adoration, and how he is always quick to compliment Buck about anything and everything. It’s in the way he always keeps in mind the things that Buck likes and dislikes. In the way he always tries to touch him, and not even in a sexual way –though there is plenty of that of course– but in a loving way: a hand on the small of his back, an arm wrapped around his waist when walking, holding his hand whenever possible, cuddling him when watching a movie and in bed, and hugging him any chance he gets. It’s also in the way he listens attentively to Buck’s rambling, asking questions, and later remembering all the details. His love is present in practically every single thing Tommy does and says around Buck. 

That’s why Buck’s sure that Tommy is not trying to ghost him, thinking of breaking up with him, needing a break from him, or anything like that. But something has happened, and Buck needs to know what so that he can help Tommy with whatever he might need. 

“Tommy?” He asks again after not receiving an answer. 

The entire place is quiet and dark. It’s such a contrast to how it usually is that Buck feels weird and his worry grows tenfold. 

Turning on his phone flashlight Buck looks in the living room, Tommy’s office, and then the garage. After not finding him in any of those places, Buck goes upstairs and calls his name again. 

As he nears the bedroom, he starts to hear some soft sniffling. Feeling his heart pounding in his chest and getting goosebumps all over, he carefully opens the bedroom door. 

Tommy is lying on his side, facing away from the door and he is crying softly. 

With his heart breaking into tiny pieces but also alarmed at what could be the cause of this, Buck approaches the bed, climbs into it and hugs Tommy from behind. 

“Evan?” Tommy asks, startled and with a hoarse voice.

Tommy sits up quickly, dislodging Buck’s arms from around him. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was worried about you,” Buck explains, carefully grabbing Tommy’s hands, which are aggressively wiping his tears away. 

“I’m fine,” Tommy says, even though tears keep slowly falling from his eyes.

Buck gently wipes the tears away, and then cups Tommy’s cheeks. “You’re not, love. What’s wrong? You can tell me.” 

Shaking his head, Tommy replies, “No, no, if I tell you I will start to ugly cry again and I can’t… I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a mess, and I’m not supposed to- It’s too much… You shouldn’t see me like this!” Tommy gestures at his face and the state he is in.

After taking a deep breath, Buck grabs one of Tommy's hands and entwines their fingers, giving it a little squeeze.  “Listen closely to me, ok?” 

As his lips tremble and his breathing shudders, Tommy nods hesitantly.

“Do you remember when the 118 got the call about a trailer truck tipping over and falling over someone? How that accident made me have flashbacks of being trapped under the fire engine?” Buck asks in a soothing voice. 

Tommy opens his mouth to speak but Buck doesn’t let him say anything. 

“Do you remember how much of a mess I was? How that night I dreamt that I had lost my leg so I woke up screaming and sobbing?” 

Buck waits for Tommy to nod again before continuing, “And do you remember what you did? You comforted me. You hugged me while I sobbed, not caring that I was getting snot all over your shoulder and chest. And when I apologized and made the self-deprecating comment that I bet I looked like hell, you told me… do you remember what you told me?”

“That you looked beautiful,” Tommy whispers. 

“Yeah, that’s what you said. And it’s the truth for you, too. There’s nothing that would make me think you’re not the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Buck says softly. “You were my rock then, let me be your rock now.”

Tommy sucks in a shuddering breath and buries his face into Evan’s neck, hugging him tight. His body shakes as sobs begin to erupt from his throat. 

Buck swallows the lump in his throat and strokes Tommy’s back in soothing circles. 

Eventually, Tommy tells him that it’s the death anniversary of Alex, the only friend he made during his time in the Air Force. He confesses that he had almost forgotten about it, his mind not registering the date, and how guilty he feels about it. 

Buck holds him and lets him talk about his friend, not interrupting once. Tommy tells him about how Alex was also a closeted soldier, and how they understood each other from the start, becoming thick as thieves. In many ways, Alex had been like the brother Tommy never had. On that fateful day, Alex had requested to go on a dangerous mission instead of Tommy and that was the last time Tommy saw him alive.

When Tommy falls asleep in his arms, exhausted, Buck keeps holding onto him, and silently thanks Alex for saving Tommy’s life.

[matan4il]

911 ep 704 first watch reactions

IDK if anyone else will talk about this, but Josh and Maddie were a great comedic start to this ep! XD Also. Interesting choice to give Josh, the currently only openly gay male character on the show, more lines again. Is it a reminder he's there, so he can be a part of Buck's journey later on? *eyes emoji* We'll see.

All of these pretty women (I should also mention that as a non-American, all the gasped, "It's Joey!" "It's you!" "It's me!" are missing me by a kilometer. Whoever Joey is, he's not Madonna yet, if you want me to get excited about him, 911, you're gonna have to give me a bit more than a single name), hitting on Buck and Eddie, and the ease with which both men turn them down... Sure, this is a part of the set up regarding Buck, and Eddie technically has an excuse, but also. Most straight, taken men would at least be tempted. They'd at least bite their lips with frustration. Have some reaction. But not Eddie. And when you remember that he was distinctly not taken in ep 204, but still had the same reaction to pretty young women hitting on him and Buck... I know this ep is all about celebrating the 'oh' moment of another guy, but that's not gonna stop me from rooting for Eddie to have similar realizations eventually (and get together with that certain other guy *cough*).

LMAO So, Buck is meeting up with the guy who's gonna be his sexual awakening, a man who's good looking, gave him a thrill already, is an impressive fighter pilot, and the first thing he can think of to say, is blurt out Eddie's name? LMAO Oh, this boy really is down bad...

Man, that bit where Tommy tells Buck he can have it both ways, he can get certified and continue to serve with the 118. Thanks for the beautiful foreshadowing, 911. Buck saying he's keeping his options fluid... Holy shit, the show really wasn't holding any punches back.

OMG, why is Harry old enough to be making Bathena waffles (and then turn out to be involved in an altercation)? I swear, he was still on baby formula just a second ago. How did 7 seasons just fly by!?

Buck getting jealous over Eddie and Tommy sparring. Considering the fact that Buck was the one getting all hot and bothered over semi-naked Eddie in the gym in 201, and ready to jump into a boxing match with him, this is making me wanna punch a wall myself. The symbolism in this ep is NOT very veiled. Add to that Eddie mentioning how he and Tommy met and just... clicked. In the same conversation that reminds us of Buddie' in 201's first meeting, where they clicked? (even though they were both too dumb to realize in what way) 911, just let me catch my breath for a second challenge! Also, Eddie is dating Tommy more intensely than he is Marisol? Okay. Duly noted. These firefighters are both so freaking hetero, I'm sure that's exactly what every casual viewer was telling themselves at this point. And poor Buck, getting his hopes up that Eddie is asking him when he's free, so they can go on a date themselves, only to be let down. Poor baby boy. But this feels like it's spelling out the answer to whether Buck's jealous over Tommy or Eddie. So, yay for Tommy helping him with his bi awakening. But it's clear who's really occupying Buck's heart and mind, and whose time he wants. FOR SIX FREAKING SEASONS NOW.

Oh, it's continuing, the show really is trying to kill me, having Buck complain to Maddie about how often Eddie has been seeing Tommy. The annoyance with how cool Tommy is, that's exactly Buck's reaction to Eddie in 201. So, if Buck and Tommy will then kiss, what does that say about what Buck didn't even realize he wanted to happen with Eddie back then, hmmm? I also love that Buck wants to be the cooler "dad's friend" in Christopher's eyes. That's his son, you can't take that away from him. And of course, Maddie was his first confidante about his feels for Eddie, she was the first one to call out his boy crush (in 204) and to hear Buck automatically think about Eddie, when he hears, "He's cute!" (in 206). It's so freaking right that she is now the witness to Buck's bi jealousy meltdown. I love her calling him out on it. "Is it circled with a heart around it?" Honestly, this is better than front row seats at the Bachelor mansion. I'm just disappointed in Chimney and his imaginary popcorn that he doesn't get to witness all of this firsthand and get what it means. Letting down all Bachelor fans out there, Chim. -_-

And then Buck's back in the gym, staring at Eddie, feathers ruffled. Am I going to make it to the end of this ep? Who cares? This is fantastic! XD He tries to catch Eddie's attention with the little weightlifting without a spotter stunt, and it's specifically him. Chim turned out to also be impressed by how cool Tommy is, but Buck is circling Eddie, like a clueless Jane Austen heroine, about to become a hit teen romance movie. Ravi falling for Buck's weightlifting attention trap is just getting in the way. Chim asking about Buck's weird basketball hugging session is nothing but a way to get to the ball game with Eddie. Okay, I'm at the point where I need to be chewing on imaginary popcorn.

Athena is one of the strongest characters on television, ever. Precisely because she's not just tough when she has to be, she has a heart, too. The scene where she told the woman she accidentally killed her own son was hard to just watch. IDK how she actually did that. I'm not sure if viewers who aren't moms get it, 'coz I didn't until I went with my sister through her pregnancy. Motherhood changes you forever. You feel your kid moving inside you. You bond with them in the most intimate way possible before they're even born. You go on a wild journey with them after, where every second counts, let alone every hour and every day, when they're hungry, when they're cold, when they struggle to sleep, when they finally do, when they take their first step, when they fail and fall... The love and protectiveness are something different to anything else in life. IDK how Athena, who gets all of this, managed to break the news to this mother, that she had unknowingly killed her own kid. I think to me, this has to be the most devastating scene in the entire history of the show. IDK if I'll be able to watch it again.

When basketball game scene starts, and Chimney knows something's up, I was already chuckling. But then Eddie sees them, and the first thing isn't expressing joy that his best friend is there, it's asking how did Chim talk him into this. "He always says no to me." They BOTH always talk about each other in romantic coded language, it's not just Buck, and in the same ep where we get bi Buck confirmed, that makes me froth at the mouth...

"So I'm your basketball beard. I feel so bonded." Not Chimney calling Buck out, while using the term for closeted gay guys using someone as a cover. I AM SCREAMING. Thank you, 911 gods!

That montage with Eddie and Tommy high fiving each other right in front of Buck's salad face, while their muscles glisten in the sun, and Top Gun-like music plays in the background, like the biggest nod to the volleyball scene from that gayest movie ever made, which we already had Buddie paraphrasing in 201. I am fine, this is fine. I love this burning kitchen I'm sitting in.

Buck causing Eddie's injury because of his jealousy (which again, is not about Tommy. He made an impression on Chim as well, who was screaming, "Buck, I'm open! I'm OPEN!") and not even getting to offer some help, because Tommy's already on it... I hope ABC is happy with their viewership dropping next week, because they've killed every Buddie shipper in the fandom.

"Well, I'm not a 14 year old girl..." Both Buck and Maddie together: "So stop acting like one." Love this scene, love these siblings, love that the reference with the two blonde Sarahs sounds platonic, but it's also from a past season on the Bachelor. 911 really wants you to know this is romantic, and Buck's going through a late sexual awakening in his 30's, instead of in his teens, even before he's able to see it.

So, the conclusion to Buck and Maddie's convo is that he needs to talk to Eddie, to make it better, yet the person he ends up talking to is Tommy, and that leads to the bi awakening kiss... It's a classic rom com switch, we hear a knock at the door, we expect it to be THE love interest, showing up at the right time, and it's someone else, making the protagonist's romantic journey so close, but about to get longer. It's further emphasized by a shot over Tommy's shoulder, in a way that he can easily be confused for Eddie, and which is reminiscent of moment when we saw Buck standing at Eddie's door, or both of them there toegther.

It was a nice talk, I loved Tommy saying he can't replace Buck, I def noticed how he went to talk about it in the context of Chris instead of Eddie (hmmm... I wonder why), but my fave part was how Buck glowed when he heard his son doesn't shut up about him. ^u^ He even took a second to look away from Tommy, to take it in with a huge grin. Then Buck and Tommy start warming up to each other, moving towards flirtation, and what comes out of Buck's mouth? "You don't have to tell me how great Eddie is." That's not how you flirt with a guy, Buck. I liked Tommy kissing him, and Buck not recoiling. Like he's always known on some level, but could never do anything about it. "That's better than fake mouth static." LOL The stuff that great romance is made of.

I'm SO happy Buck is getting this storyline of realization he's bi, I've thought it would be important and that the show has laid some groundwork for it since 107, and I don't mind that Tommy is the "romantic other" who helps him with it. I do believe this is important bi representation in and of itself, away from Buddie, and if nothing else ever comes of it, this is still beyond wonderful. In 2024, we still barely have any characters who start out presumed straight, and are allowed the freedom to figure out that maybe their sexual orientation is different than what they thought, despite the fact that in reality, human sexuality is complex and confusing and a mess. So this really matters to me, as a human being, and as a queer person. That said, I can't ignore the past 5 seasons, and the way this storyline played out, with Tommy kissing Buck, but the whole thing being emotionally centered around Buck's feelings for Eddie, it means that whether they go canon or not (and at this point, I find it hard to believe they'd make Buck canonically bi, taking this HUGE risk of homophobic backlash, and not go there with him and Eddie, but just in case they don't, I wanna say this), it'll always be Buddie for me.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[louisjude]

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

[apdreadful]

Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

[inawickedlittletown]

And Every String Led Me To You (BuckTommy) - one-shot

Summary: It happened when Buck woke up from the coma. At first, he was absolutely sure that he was dreaming because there was no way his hospital room could be so full of string.

or, Buck can suddenly see the strings of fate, including the one that connects him right to Tommy.

BuckTommy Positivity Week Day 7: soulmates/string of fate

Rated: G

Words: 8.6k

@bucktommypositivityweek

-

Read on Ao3

It happened when Buck woke up from the coma. At first, he was absolutely sure that he was dreaming because there was no way his hospital room could be so full of string. So, when the doctors had all started to check on him, Buck had settled on the idea that maybe he was just hallucinating. Or that the lights in the room were doing something weird and his eyes weren’t focusing enough to let him see everything properly. 

Except that it didn’t go away. And once he was actually definitely more awake, Buck began to realize that the strings shot out from people’s chests. He saw it on his main doctor and on Maddie, but he realized fairly quickly that they couldn’t see them. 

Some people had more than others and there were different colors too. When he looked down at his own chest, he found lots of strings. The one that stood out most prominently was red. There were a few green, some blue, and yellow that glowed so much they looked almost gold. 

“Mr. Buckley, are you alright?” 

“Call me Buck,” Buck said. 

The doctor nodded and then started going over what had happened to him. Struck by lighting. Died. Coma. Lucky to be alive. Maddie stood next to him and she looked so happy that he didn’t want to alert her to anything else being wrong. But, something had to be wrong. 

Then, when everyone came in to see him, Buck was a bit overwhelmed by everyone and even more so by all the strings. They kinda blended together a bit but they were definitely still there. 

“Buck?” His doctor asked after visiting hours were over and everyone was gone. 

“Why are there so many strings?” Buck asked. 

“Strings?” She asked, confused. 

Buck hadn’t tried to touch them because he’d been a little worried about what might happen if he did. But, he reached just in front of his chest right where one of the green strings was. He closed his fingers around it and felt nothing. His hand grasped nothing. 

“But they’re — they’re there. They’re everywhere.” 

There were so many tests after that. Although some of them were probably related to the lightning strike and the coma that followed, some were definitely related to the strings. Why else would they bring a psychiatrist to see him? 

Maddie was worried. Eddie looked worried too. His parents had been mostly confused. Bobby was the first one to ask follow up questions. Because even the psychiatrist had wanted him to talk about things that weren’t the strings as if they were trying to get him to admit that he was making it up. 

“What are you seeing exactly, Buck?” Bobby asked. 

They were playing cards and Buck was already feeling a lot better. Maybe some of it was due to the pain meds, but he felt ready to leave the hospital. 

“It’s like if a ball of yarn was unspooled and it just kept rolling and rolling and rolling and other balls were also let go and every yarn started in someone’s chest. Can’t touch them, but they’re there and they’re kinda taut so somewhere they probably end. Does that make any sense?” 

“What else can you tell me?” Bobby asked. 

Buck took a breath. He couldn’t tell if Bobby was just humoring him, but it didn’t really matter if he could talk about the strings without doctors thinking he needed yet another MRI. 

“They’re really bright and there’s a lot of different colors too. The glow. And I think they connect people together. We’re — Bobby, there’s a string coming from me to you. It’s kinda yellow, but it’s glowing. I saw a similar one going from me to Maddie. There was a blue one connecting me to Eddie. Chim too.” 

Bobby stared at him. He was in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs, his hand of cards held up in front of him, but he wasn’t looking at them as much as looking over them to stare at Buck. 

“They say strange things happen to people when they die,” Bobby said eventually. “You did die, Buck. Maybe long enough that something got left behind.” 

Buck sat up. He put his cards down. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, since they mentioned it, I’ve had the thought that maybe you’re seeing something that is always there but that no one ever sees. Buck, I think you’re seeing the strings of fate.” 

“Strings of fate?” Buck asked. 

Bobby nodded with a small smile. “It’s a theory,” Bobby explained. “Some people think that everyone that is meant to meet will meet and that we’re all just tangled up in strings. Most important of all, the red string of fate that will connect you to your Soulmate.” 

If the strings weren’t there in front of him, Buck probably would have scoffed at the entire idea. Except that he could see the strings and they did come out of people’s chests and he and Bobby were connected. 

“So, does that mean free will doesn’t actually exist?” Buck asked. 

“That is a larger conversation,” Bobby said with a chuckle. 

“Yeah. I just…if things are meant to be a certain way then what is the point of — well, of everything.” 

“Buck,” Bobby said, “I think that is the point. The strings are there for us to follow like different paths. Different choices. You can see them now, but you weren’t influenced in any way to make the choices that brought you here.” 

By the time that he was finally discharged a few days later, Buck had started to get used to the idea. He stopped telling people about the strings even though they were just always there. Weirdly, he could ignore them. Or at least he could until Maddie and Chim arrived to pick him up and he saw the red string that connected them. Soulmates. 

As much as he hated the recovery period, it did give him some time to get used to the strings. Seeing them on his friends when he was with them one on one was interesting because he had strings attaching him to all of them. It also gave Buck time to research. 

He probably spent too much time going down rabbit hole after rabbit hole. Most of it was theory because no one could prove that they existed. Some people did claim to see them, but just like Buck they had no way to actually prove that definitively. 

By the time that he was back at work, Buck just became used to seeing the strings. He could ignore them and if he really thought about it hard enough they kind of disappeared. So, for a while it seemed like everything would just go back to normal. Until he met Natalia the Death Doula. 

Buck saw the string that connected them the moment they arrived on the scene. It was the first string that he’d seen connect to someone he didn’t already know. Buck couldn’t help but be drawn to her and the longer they talked the more interested he became. He decided to ignore the nagging voice that told him he was being influenced by the string existing in the first place. It helped that she seemed to be as fascinated by him right back. Her fascination only seemed to grow when she learned that Buck had died. That made it a little weird, but Buck didn’t care. 

It had been a while for him since he’d attempted anything romantic. A few months later it was all over. For once it wasn’t his job as much as hers. 

“Only a yellow string,” he told himself afterwards. “Of course it wasn’t going to last.” 

Most people had a red string and most of the time Buck didn’t get to see where the other side ended. Bobby and Athena were connected by red. Hen and Karen too. Eddie and Marisol didn’t have a string at all and Buck had no idea what to make of that. Eddie’s red string was stretched outwards and Buck had absolutely no idea where it went. 

The weird thing about the red string was that it pulled. It was the only one that did that. Not often and very gently, almost pleasantly, but it was there and Buck had no idea why it did that at all. He just knew that if everything worked the way it was supposed to, one day he would meet the person that his red string led to. 

The worst pull that the red string ever gave him was that day during the bridge collapse. Buck didn’t know if it had something to do with the emergency or if it was because the person his red string ended on was there. He just knew that the string was as taut as ever and that it tugged at him. 

According to some of his research the red string was the main string and all the other strings were there to inform the red. Buck thought that there was maybe something to that considering how Maddie and Chim had come to meet because of him. Or even how Hen and Karen had gotten together entirely because of Chim whom they both shared strings with. 

“It’s red, the string between you two,” Buck told Bobby a couple of nights before he and Athena were setting off on a very belated honeymoon cruise. 

“I didn’t need you to tell me that, Buck,” Bobby said. 

Buck was a little curious about the string connecting Athena to her ex-husband as well as Bobby’s to his first wife. Did people have more than one Soulmate, or had Bobby and Athena always been meant to be? Buck didn’t really let himself linger on that. If he really let himself think too hard about the strings it would actually drive him a little crazy. 

Like how Eddie and Marisol didn’t have a string attaching them at all. Buck said nothing about it. It wasn’t his place and it was also a bit confusing because he’d sort of assumed that anyone you dated would have a string since there existed an inherent intimacy. Apparently, that did not seem to be the case. It made everything all the more curious. 

The next time his red string acted up was on the night that he, Eddie, and Chim were on their way to meet Chim’s friend from air support. It seemed to both get better and worse the closer they got to the station. Buck had no idea what to make of it.

And then he got very very distracted by the very hot man walking towards them. He stood at about Buck’s height and he could have easily been some sort of model because he had no right being that good looking and not sharing that with the world. 

It didn’t hit Buck until the guy had made it closer that Buck’s string had found its other end. Buck’s red string ended on the very muscled chest of the pilot that Chim had called to help them. He could barely keep his eyes off of him as they walked to meet him, the string between them shrinking and shrinking. 

He missed whatever Chim said to him until—

“I’m Tommy,” Tommy said and he shook Eddie’s hand first. 

“Ev— Evan,” Buck managed to get out. 

Tommy had a nice smile. It crinkled the corners of his eyes and created laugh lines around his mouth. His chin had a cleft and his jawline was sharp. He was hot. It wasn’t a thought that Buck had often about men, but he had eyes, and there was no denying when someone was just that good looking. 

“Nice to meet you, Evan,” Tommy said and Buck had gone years hating the sound of his own first name. He didn’t hate it when Tommy said it. 

“So, what’s happening exactly?” Tommy asked Chim, his eyes leaving Buck and turning to Chim. 

“You okay, man?” Eddie asked with a nudge to Buck’s side. 

“Oh. Uh…yeah. Yeah. I’m good.” 

He couldn’t stop looking at Tommy. The red string between them shone so bright that Buck could actually see the red light reflecting on the space between them and Tommy had absolutely no idea that it existed. As he followed Eddie and Chim towards a helicopter he noted that in addition to the red string, there were strings joining Chim and Eddie to Tommy. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Eddie asked again. 

Buck felt Tommy’s gaze on him and he gulped. “Fine. I’m fine. Just worried for Cap and Athena.” 

Eddie didn’t look like he believed him. 

Tommy had them all get into the helicopter and he stood outside. The wind fluttered his hair a bit and he was looking serious but cool as he talked to Chim. When he went to go grab Hen, Buck almost felt the string pull. It was an odd sensation. 

The whole helicopter ride, Buck grew more and more in awe of Tommy. He was just so confident as he got them up in the air and his dry humor was a revelation. By the time they spotted the capsized ship, Buck had started to think it was all for nothing, and then he began to worry that they were too late. 

He and Eddie shared a look. 

And then…well, then, Tommy actually landed on the capsized ship like it was the easiest thing in the world nevermind that it wasn’t even a little bit flat. 

Buck maybe gapped at him a little until Hen was pulling at him to get out of the helicopter. His eyes met Tommy’s as he did and wow was that intense.

The sun was rising by the time that they were making the final trip back to the coast guard ship. Buck didn’t know how he ended up front with Tommy, but he didn’t mind it one bit. He tried not to be too obvious in how his eyes seemed to stay right to him despite the gorgeous view of the calm blue water below them. 

“Gotta say, I’m glad I wrote that letter of recommendation now,” Bobby said. 

Tommy chuckled. “I’m just happy I could help.” 

“Are you kidding?” Buck asked. “This…we couldn’t have done any of this without you.” 

When he glanced back at Bobby he was unsurprised to find the string that connected Bobby to Tommy. 

“Anyone could have flown out here.” 

Buck shook his head. “But you did.” 

“Take the credit, man,” Eddie added. 

When they landed, they got to see Bobby and Athena reunite. The red string between them closing up until it existed as just a light glow between them. When Buck looked down, he saw his own between him and Tommy. Did it mean they could have something like Bobby and Athena? 

Throughout the night, Buck hadn’t allowed himself to really think about it, mostly because he wasn’t into guys. Or, alright, he’d never been with a guy before. He’d checked some out in the past, but that had been more about admiration for the physique or because yes some guys were hot and there was no way they weren’t getting checked out by most people. His brain was starting to hurt. 

He reached out to Tommy, patting his shoulder. “Thank you.” 

Tommy’s hand brushed his elbow as Buck began to follow Eddie. He felt the tug of the string and then it loosened as Tommy followed. It was very very strange and Buck needed to do more research. 

Days later, his research hadn’t given him much more than what he’d already found previously. Red string meant Soulmate. So, Buck did a different type of research and maybe he shouldn’t have started with porn, but that seemed in many ways the easiest way for him to tell if he actually could be sexually interested in guys. The answer was a yes. Definitely a yes. 

That sent him down a different rabbit hole and Buck learned about the kinsey scale and all the different flags and the different ways that people defined themselves. It was overwhelming and there was so much for him to learn, but Buck was nothing if not eager to learn. 

So he read up on Stonewall and Harvey Milk and the AIDS Memorial quilt. He read about all the men and women that got married after decades of being together without the right to. He read about gay sex and he read about the ways that queer people had been fighting for their rights for just about ever and how the fight was still ongoing. 

Every June, Buck had put up a pride flag on his Instagram, a show of solidarity. He hadn’t known the flag was his too. 

“Is something going on, Buck?” Hen asked in between calls one shift. “You’ve been quieter than usual.” 

“I’ve been doing some research,” he admitted. 

“And you haven’t shared it with us?” Chim asked. “Shocking.” 

Buck knew he was turning pink. Luckily, he was saved by a call. They all ran down and were in the truck in minutes. 

Later that night, he was the one that approached Hen. She had a book in her hand, but she put it down on her lap when she saw him. 

“What’s up?” 

Buck took a breath and he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to a label that he still wasn’t sure fit. 

“Do you remember when I was in the hospital and I was talking about strings?” Buck asked.

Hen raised an eyebrow. “I think we all remember that.” 

“Right. Right. Well, I never stopped seeing them.” 

Her eyes widened at once. “What? Have you been hallucinating this whole time? Buck that’s not alright. We need to tell Cap and get you to the hospital. Is there anything else? I mean if you’re seeing things that aren’t there that isn’t exactly a good thing.” 

“No. No. Hen, I’m okay.” 

She leaned back on the couch. “I don’t really buy that.”

“Well, unlike my math superpowers, this one didn’t go away,” Buck said. “But I know what it is now.” 

Both of her eyebrows shot up. “You know why you’re seeing strings?” 

“Bobby thinks it’s left over from when I died. He called them strings of fate and I researched it a lot and it’s not just some story. They’re real.”

Hen nodded along. “Okay, and you, what, you found other people that can see them?” 

“There are some, yeah. Mostly people that have died and been revived. There’s research on it, but it’s not exactly prone to giving empirical visible data, but I think it’s real.” 

Buck could tell that Hen was at least partially humoring him, but at least she wasn’t insisting that he go to the hospital anymore. She mostly looked bemused. 

“We have a string connecting us,” Buck said, pointing between them. “Most of the strings are yellow, but some are green or blue. Everyone has a red string, it’s supposed to be attached to your Soulmate. You and Karen. Chim and Maddie. Athena and Bobby. All red.”

“Hmm, good to know, not that I doubted it,” Hen said and she was smiling a little. 

“My red string, I found out where it ends.” 

“What?” 

Buck chuckled. “Yeah. I, uh, I’ve been kinda freaking out a little.” 

“If what you’re saying is true then that woman is your Soulmate? What are you even waiting for?” 

Buck looked away. It really would have been nice of dispatch to send them a call. He glanced behind him. Bobby was in the kitchen with Chim. Eddie was at one of the tables talking to Christopher over facetime. 

“It’s, uh, it’s not a woman,” Buck got out. 

“Oh,” Hen said, eyes widening. She dropped the book on the couch next to her. “Oh. Buck, are you…I mean how do you feel about that?” 

“Why do you think I’ve been freaking out?” 

“So maybe the whole string thing doesn’t work that way?” Hen tried. 

Buck shook his head. “I’m freaking out because I had no idea that I liked men that way too and what if I mess this all up because I’ve never been with a guy before? What if this all goes wrong and I screw things up with the person that my string leads to.” 

“Buck,” Hen said in a gentle tone. “You won’t. Look, string of fate aside, any guy that doesn’t accept your journey to realizing this about yourself isn’t worth your time.” 

It was nice to hear it from Hen. 

Tommy had seemed like the decent sort. He’d flown into a hurricane just because Chim reached out to him and told him Hen had a hunch. For all his confidence and skill, he’d still tried to downplay that. 

“You’re right,” Buck said. 

“And, Buck, I’m proud of you.” 

“What?” 

“It isn’t easy coming to terms with who you are and honestly I’ve seen you checking out guys for years.” 

Buck burst into laughter. He could feel how warm his face had gone and Hen laughed too. They got a few looks from the others, but Hen shook her head at them. 

“Had to be there,” she said. In a quieter tone just for Buck to hear, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything until you’re ready.” 

“Thanks, Hen.” 

It felt far too obvious to ask Hen if she could pass along Tommy’s number to him, so before their shift ended, Buck asked as casually Chim as he could. Chim didn’t seem to think anything of it. 

“He’s a cool guy, that Tommy,” Chim said.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Buck said. 

Buck called as soon as he was back home. He was nervously pacing his apartment as the phone rang. On the third ring, it was finally picked up. 

“Hello,” Tommy’s voice sounded a little winded. 

“Uh. Hi,” Buck said. “This is Evan. Evan Buckley, we, uh, we met the other night when—”

“Oh. Evan! Yes. How are you?” 

“I’m good. Great. You?” 

“I’m doing alright,” Tommy said. “What can I do for you?” 

“Are you always so quick to offer favors?” Buck asked. 

Tommy chuckled. Buck loved the sound of it. Wanted to hear it again. 

“Not necessarily, but you did call me out of the blue so I had to assume you needed something. Am I right?” 

Buck didn’t stop moving across the floor of his loft. He had never been so nervous before and that was saying something because Buck did plenty of things that other people would find nerve racking. One area where Buck had always managed to be a little too bold and a little too willing to just go for it had always been when it came to flirting even if often it just led a single night or a single afternoon or morning. Tommy made him nervous and Buck didn’t even think it had anything to do with him being a guy…or at least, it wasn’t entirely that. 

“Oh. Well, yes. I was wondering if you would ever want to give me a tour of Harbor? Kinda hard to see everything in the dark.” 

Tommy took a pause before he responded. “I can do that. Sure.”

“Cool.” 

Tommy chuckled again. “Cool,” he repeated. 

They figured out a time that worked for them in a couple of days and Buck couldn’t find any excuse to keep him on the phone longer. Afterwards, he kinda just hung his head and groaned. Why did he feel like a teenager all of a sudden? And he hadn’t even really asked Tommy out as much as made it into a work thing. He was hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. 

When the day of the tour arrived, he might have also taken his entire closet apart to find the right outfit. His plan was to arrive for the tour and get talking to Tommy and then offer to get a drink with him or something. Then, maybe when they were out of Tommy’s place of work, he could try and show that he was interested in something more. He’d flirt and smile and pull out all his best moves. 

None of that went to plan. He could sort of tell that Tommy was confused about Buck’s request for the tour and yet he led him through the space showing him everything. It was definitely impressive. Tommy was impressive. Buck couldn’t tell for sure if Tommy was flirting with him because he was subtle about it so it could have been passed off for something else maybe, but he did think he caught him checking Buck out a few times and that…well, that was a good sign. 

And then…then Eddie was suddenly there. 

Tommy had plans with Eddie. 

Tommy and Eddie were high fiving and grinning at each other like they’d known each other for ages. 

The outfit that Tommy was wearing that Buck had convinced himself was in some effort to impress him because Tommy was off-shift and had still been willing to show Buck around on his day off, was suddenly less about Buck and more about him going to a fight with Eddie. A fight that they were taking the helicopter to because it was in Vegas. So the whole tour and the timing of it was convenient for Tommy and Buck was nothing more than an afterthought. 

Buck watched them go and he wondered if he’d gotten it all wrong, red string and all. 

The worst part was how foolish it made him feel. He’d convinced himself that he just needed to follow the string and that it wouldn’t steer him wrong. It wasn’t that simple though and he had perfect examples all around him. 

Chim and Maddie had had their ups and downs. Hen had cheated on Karen. Even Bobby and Athena had their issues and they had both been married to other people and had kids with those other people. The red string had to have some kind of fine print that stated it didn’t guarantee smooth sailing. 

So, if Tommy was interested in Eddie then that was…Buck just had to be okay with that? 

All at once, he hated the strings. He wanted nothing to do with them and wished he didn’t even see them in the first place. So, he didn’t call Tommy again. Didn’t ask about the flying lessons he’d been offered or called in the rain check for the beer Buck had said he’d buy for him. He tried not to think about Tommy at all. 

Except that Eddie couldn’t stop talking about Tommy. Not just the fight, but how Tommy had helped him fix up the Chevelle and how Tommy apparently knew muay thai and Eddie finally had someone he could spar with. He talked about how Tommy was a regular at a karaoke trivia thing — Buck loved trivia…it was so unfair how perfect Tommy was. Eddie had even brought Tommy along to meet Christopher and they had definitely hit it off. Chris couldn’t stop talking about Tommy the night Buck wound up babysitting. Even Marisol had nice things to say about him when she stopped by to pick up something she’d forgotten at Eddie’s house. 

Buck didn’t really get Marisol. She was friendly enough, but always a little standoffish. Eddie never brought her around to get togethers with the rest of the 118, either, and Buck couldn’t help but be weirded out by how few strings she had and how she didn’t connect to Eddie or Chris. She also didn’t seem to care that Eddie was spending every spare moment of free time with Tommy instead of with her. Or even how Eddie talked about Tommy way more than he’d ever talked about Marisol. 

So, maybe Buck was simmering in a pot of jealousy and he had no idea why Marisol wasn’t in her own pot over the same stovetop. 

When he saw that Eddie was going to the pickup basketball game with Tommy and that he’d gone and circled the date on the calendar, he felt the pit in his stomach grow. Eddie had been begging him to join him at basketball for weeks and Buck always turned him down. It was tempting to just show up, but at the same time the last thing he wanted to see was Tommy and Eddie’s friendship or whatever it was — god, he really hoped it was just friendship — on full display. 

A glance at his strings told him they were all still there, still as strong and vibrant. Maybe, he just had to trust them and trust that Tommy’s attention would eventually come to him. 

He ignored the way that Eddie was always on his phone with Tommy. He ignored the pang in his chest. He ignored the way that Hen looked at him with questions. He ignored when Chim brought Tommy up and talked about how cool and awesome he was. Buck was well aware. 

One night, when his apartment felt too big and too empty, Buck decided he was done with the pity party. It wasn’t going to help anyone, least of all him. So, rather than wallow, he got in the shower, pulled on clothes that he knew were a little tight and that definitely showed off his best assets, and then he went out. 

Back in the day, Buck had had specific bars and clubs where he went to blow off steam. He’d get a little drunk, maybe pick up a girl that wanted to have a good time and sometimes — most times — they didn’t actually make it further than the bathroom in their haste. But this time, he wanted to try something different. That was how he found himself at a gay bar. 

It was noisy and the music was loud. Getting to the bar to order a drink took some time, but Buck had nothing but time. By the time that he had his beer in hand, he’d gotten to survey the place a little. Strings were everywhere. They were tangled and messy and here or there Buck could see red strings. Two girls at the bar next to him were connected by a red string. They were flirting and smiling and Buck could tell that they’d only just met. He smiled to himself and glanced around some more. 

Two guys making out with their arms wrapped around each other had a red string between them. Another pair didn’t have any string at all. 

Someone tapped his shoulder. He was a few inches shorter than Buck. His blond hair fell over his eyes like a curtain and he had a nice smile. His arms both had intricate tattoos that Buck was immediately interested in getting a closer look at. 

“Hi,” he said. “You looked a little lonely over here.” 

Buck was struck by the idea that he could do this. The guy was looking at Buck with unmistakable want. His eyes had drifted up and down Buck twice and they stared at his lips like he wanted nothing more than to taste them. Buck knew what that looked like on a girl and he couldn’t say it didn’t do something to know he was wanted. 

“It’s my first time here,” Buck admitted. “I’m Buck.” 

“Jer,” Jer said. “Come out and dance with me? No pressure.” 

So, Buck did. He drowned the last of his beer and left the bottle behind and followed Jer out to the dancefloor. 

It was packed with bodies and Jer reached out and grabbed Buck’s hand so they wouldn’t get separated. He couldn’t deny it was strange to hold hands with a guy just in the sense that the hand he was holding wasn’t soft and delicate but stronger with longer and thicker fingers. When Jer stopped, he let Buck go and he swayed in front of Buck. 

“Relax,” Jer said, grabbing Buck by the hips. 

Buck did. The music was too loud for conversation, but it had a good beat and Buck wasn’t the best dancer by any means, but he got moving and Jer helped him along. 

By the end of two songs they had gotten closer and closer and Buck couldn’t say that he was against the feel of Jer’s body against his. He liked the energy that Jer exuded and how he made it easy. And yet…and yet Buck couldn’t imagine it becoming anything more than just this. 

There wasn’t a string between them, but that wasn’t why. It was because Buck wanted Tommy. 

Jer was hot in his own right and there were plenty of other guys that were hot too, guys that even had the same build as Tommy. They just…they weren’t Tommy. 

Buck motioned for the bar when the next song came to an end and Jer followed close behind him, a hand pressed to the small of Buck’s back. He caught the eye of the bartender right away and they both ordered. 

“I can get it,” Jer said. 

Buck shook his head. “No. I got it. Listen, I’m really not—”

Jer nodded. “I know. You did look lonely, it’s why I came over here, but I’m not really looking for anything either.” 

“Oh?” 

Jer rolled his eyes. “Okay, so that’s a lie. I am kind of seeing someone but we’re open and my friend ditched me for this girl she met. You looked like you could use some fun and I mean, have you looked at yourself? Muscles, that nice tight tush. Delectable.” 

Buck didn’t know what to do with most of what Jer had said, but he still paid for both of their drinks which was exactly when he felt his red string pull. He knew which direction to look in and when he turned his face, his eyes met Tommy’s. His hands tightened on the cold glasses and he handed Jer his glass without turning to look at him. 

Tommy strode through the crowd. He was headed right for them. 

“Wow,” Jer said. “Now that is an adonis.” 

Buck laughed. His red string pulled. Tommy was caught up behind a small crowd of people. 

“Kev — my um partner, he would be salivating right now. Actually…looks like you are too. Wait, is he coming this way?” 

Jer bumped Buck’s shoulder and Buck glanced at him. 

“Do you know him?” Jer asked. 

Buck nodded. A couple of feet away from them, Tommy stopped.

“Hi,” Buck said. 

“Evan,” Tommy said and why oh why did he say his name like that. 

“Tommy,” Buck said back for lack of anything else to say. 

“Maybe Tommy wants a drink,” Jer said, nudging Buck and very obviously giving Tommy a once over. 

Buck blinked, looked towards Jer who seemed to be trying to communicate something with his eyes, and then back at Tommy. Tommy was glancing between them. He frowned and kinda made a move as if to walk away. 

“I do owe you a beer,” Buck said.

Tommy’s lips turned up. “You never called,” he said and once more glanced at Jer. 

“I, uh, I didn’t think you wanted me to,” Buck said. “Not to mention, you were pretty busy, so…”

Jer touched Buck’s shoulder. Buck was very reluctant to look away from Tommy for even a second. “Hey, I’m gonna go. I think I see my friend and her new friend over there. It was nice to meet you, Buck. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…namely climbing that man like a tree.” 

Buck was glad he hadn’t taken a drink. He still coughed and Jer pat him on the shoulder, winked, and walked away. Buck shook his head. 

“Friend of yours?” Tommy asked. 

“Kinda met him tonight.” 

“Oh,” Tommy said. “I, uh, I hope I wasn’t—”

“No, no. It wasn’t like that. He was just friendly. Anyway, so, beer? My treat?” 

Buck turned to flag down the bartender. 

“Whatever he wants,” Buck said and pointed to Tommy. 

“What did you mean?” Tommy asked, moving in closer. Buck could practically feel the heat of him and he would be lying if he said he didn’t want him closer. 

“About what?” Buck asked. 

Tommy chuckled. “What did you mean I was busy?” 

Buck felt all of it coming back. All the times that he had to hear about another hang out between Tommy and Eddie. How even Chim had gone to play basketball with them and apparently Tommy was better than Chim had remembered. How he had definitely thought about calling Tommy again a few times but every time it crossed his mind he thought about how Tommy probably already had plans and it had left him changing his mind and feeling like he’d lost out on something before he even got a chance to try. 

“I don’t know,” Buck said. “I guess Eddie talks about all the things you guys have been doing together. Didn’t really feel like there was room for me.” 

“Evan,” Tommy said and it was filled with incredulity and amusement. “You do know people can have multiple friends right?” 

Buck let out a breath. “I know,” he said. 

“I, uh, I was hoping to hear from you,” Tommy said. 

“Oh?” Buck asked, perking up. 

“I thought…well, I thought maybe you were flirting with me. But I kinda asked Chim about you and he said you were straight. Eddie went on a rant about your last girlfriend? Taylor? So I thought I made it up and when you didn’t call I just figured I must have been wrong. But now, you’re here…at a gay bar.” 

When Buck glanced at Tommy’s face, he saw something that looked like hope. Between them the red string shone bright. 

“It’s new,” Buck said. 

“What?” Tommy asked, a cute confused frown appearing on his face. 

“I didn’t know I was into guys too,” Buck said. “Not until a few weeks ago.” 

“Oh?” Tommy asked. 

“When I met you,” Buck confirmed. “It’s always been there. I didn’t think about it or realize and looking back a lot of things make sense. But I didn’t know and then I did—” 

Buck focused on drinking the mojito Jer had ordered for him. The sweet minty taste was perfect. 

“And then you came here?” Tommy asked and he moved closer to Buck’s side. “Did you want to put it to the test? See if you really were into men?”

Tommy was so close that he could feel his warm breath. He could smell his earthy cologne. When Buck shifted closer, his shoulder pressed into Tommy’s chest and he inhaled. 

“I didn’t need to test anything,” Buck said. “I was only here for a drink. My apartment felt too big but everyone was busy.” 

“Not me,” Tommy said. He took a long gulp of his beer and set it down on the counter behind him. 

“I guess not,” Buck said and he smiled. “I guess I finally get you to myself.” 

Tommy chuckled and Buck felt it go through him. He felt Tommy’s hand come to his waist. It was warm and strong. Buck leaned into it, turned into Tommy. They stared at one another and Tommy was smiling. Buck knew he was smiling back too. Tommy’s other hand drifted up between them, fingers catching Buck’s chin. Buck let out a small gasp and then Tommy was leaning towards him. He moved slow, slow enough that Buck could have pulled away. He leaned closer and when Tommy’s lips finally met his, he kissed him back. 

Buck loved kissing. He was a big fan of kissing. Kissing Tommy was on a whole other league to kissing anyone else. When Tommy pulled away, Buck chased him. Tommy leaned his forehead against his and it was as if the whole world around them had faded. Buck started their next kiss and Tommy let him take the lead until they were both out of breath. 

“Would it be bad if I asked you to come home with me?” Buck asked. 

Tommy pecked his lips. “Only if you’re sure.” 

“I am,” Buck said. “I really really am.” 

Tommy finished his beer and Buck drank the last of his mojito. On their way to the door, he spotted Jer. He was talking to the girls Buck had seen earlier. Jer gave him a nod and a smile. 

He didn’t sleep with Tommy that night. Or rather, they did sleep because they fell asleep on Buck’s couch in between kissing and talking and laughing, but he didn’t take him up to his bed despite how much he actually wanted to. It was just that talking to Tommy was just as stimulating. Tommy was smart and quick. He was funny and sarcastic and he didn’t seem to mind when Buck rambled off a fact or two or three all in a row. 

So, he woke up in the very early hours of the morning, his head resting on a strong chest, his arms wrapped around Tommy’s torso, and Tommy’s arm rested over his back, hand at Buck’s waist. Their legs were tangled together. Buck was glad, then, that when he replaced his couch — hopefully for the last time in a while — he’d picked this big comfy one. His thought had been that it would be useful the next time he got injured and couldn’t go up and down stairs. It was turning out useful in other ways, not that they still wouldn’t be sore after spending the night there together. 

He extricated himself as careful as possible, but Tommy still grabbed his wrist and he blinked his eyes open, a smile forming on his lips when he spotted Evan. 

“Time is it?” Tommy asked groggily. He let go of Buck’s wrist. 

“Early. Sun’s not even up yet,” Buck replied. 

Tommy groaned. 

“Hey, lets go upstairs. Well, first I have to pee, but we can go back to sleep.” 

Tommy made a noise that sounded like a groan and when he stood he groaned again. “I’m too old for sleeping on the couch.” 

Buck snorted. “Go up, I’ll be right there.” 

A few minutes later he found Tommy already passed out in his bed. He climbed in and Tommy drew Buck against him. Buck stayed awake for only a few minutes, marveling at how different things were all of a sudden. They barely even knew each other. Buck knew that for his part the string had helped and yet he had no doubt that he and Tommy would have found each other somehow. They were meant to be, after all. 

-

It took almost six months for Buck to tell Tommy about the strings. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Tommy as much as that he could never find the right way to do it without sounding crazy. He never did stop seeing them, but learned to just ignore them. They were there and they did what they were supposed to do. And yes, sometimes, he was still shocked by the strings he saw.  

Just like when he first met Mara and found a string connecting her to Maddie and Chim, something that didn’t become clear until they decided to foster her for Hen and Karen who also had strings connecting them to Mara. Then, there was the day that he and Tommy ran into Connor and Kameron and the baby that Buck had helped them conceive. Buck had somehow just expected a string to exist between him and the baby, but none existed even if one existed from Buck to Connor and Kameron both. 

That probably would have made for a good time for Buck to explain, but he’d had to explain about the sperm donation and that had seemed like enough to put on Tommy at once. 

It seemed almost ironic that the reason that he had to tell Tommy about the strings was because of Taylor Kelly. 

Buck had never expected to ever have to deal with Taylor again after she published that book, but when Eddie had the idea to involve her in getting rid of Gerrard, he’d been forced to agree that it was a good idea. He did ask too many questions about how Eddie had wound up in contact with Taylor, but she was one of the few people that would be relentless enough to do something about Gerrard, so she had that going for her. 

Eddie invited everyone over to talk it all out with Taylor. Buck had been a little against it until he was reminded about how much Gerrard sucked. So, he’d just insisted on bringing Tommy along. 

As it turned out, a string did exist between him and Taylor, but Buck had expected it. What he didn’t expect was to see where her red string ended, because it did end. It ended on Eddie. 

He had no idea what his face did when he saw it, but he did see the way that Hen was looking at him. 

“Evan, you alright?” 

Buck tried to nod. He swallowed some water and tried not to look at it. Eddie and Taylor hated each other. The whole time that Buck was dating her had been a game of keeping them from being at each other’s throats when they were in the same room. It had been exhausting. 

“Buck?” Hen asked. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Buck said. 

Tommy naturally followed him. “Hey, are you okay?” 

So Buck took his hand and dragged him out through Eddie’s kitchen door to the backyard. It was small, holding just a grill and a little patio where Eddie had a table with four chairs. Buck beelined for it. 

“Have you ever heard of the red string of fate?” 

“Maybe? I don’t know,” Tommy said. 

Buck offered up a small smile because it reminded him of every time he brought up something new. Tommy did sometimes already have some knowledge prior to Buck’s ramble, but more of than not he didn’t, or he wanted to listen to Buck refresh his memory. 

“It’s this theory about…well, about the universe. This idea that some people are meant to meet like Soulmates and along the way you pick up all these other little connections to the people that either help you get to who you need to be with or just because they are that impactful in your life.” 

“Okay,” Tommy said. “What does this have to do with—”

Buck shook his head. “I’ll get there,” he said. 

Tommy grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Buck smiled. “So they’re threads or strings and the red ones connect you to your Soulmate. Tommy, ever since I died, I’ve been able to see the strings. They’re everywhere coming from everyone.”

Tommy didn’t pull his hand away, but he did give him a disbelieving, bemused stare. “Evan, what does that mean exactly?” 

“It means that when I woke up from the coma I could see everyone’s strings.”

“And you told your doctors about this right? Because hallucinations can be a sign of a lot of things.” 

Buck laughed. “Yes. We did all kinds of tests and no one believed me until Bobby explained about this theory. So I looked into it. There are so many people that claim they can see the strings, or that they saw them. There’s scientific research, but they’re not tangible. You can’t touch them and people walk through them all the time. Hard to prove.”

“Okay. Okay. As long as you don’t have a brain tumor, I’m following you on this. So you can see these strings all the time?” 

“Yes. Well, I can kind of ignore them and they fade into the background a bit. I don’t pay them any mind mostly because…well, because they aren’t harming anyone and because it almost doesn’t matter that they’re there. At first I thought it got rid of free will if we just go along and wind up with a predestined Soulmate or something, but it’s more that these connections help us get to where we’re supposed to be.”

“Okay,” Tommy said. 

Buck could see the question in his eyes and he knew why Tommy wasn’t asking it. Buck wouldn’t ask if he were in his shoes even if he really wanted to know. Buck wanted him to know. Tommy kinda went still and he peered at Buck with trepidation. 

“You broke up with Taylor before the lightning. You never saw her string,” Tommy said and he made to let go of Buck’s hand. 

Buck held on quick. He shook his head. “Oh, god. No, Tommy, no, that’s not — look at me, just look at me. Yes there is a string between me and Taylor but it’s yellow. But you’re right, I never saw her strings before.”

Tommy relaxed and let out a breath. 

“You scared me there, Evan.” 

“I know,” Buck said. “I’m sorry. I guess I wanted you to understand it all.”

“Sure.” 

“So, anyway, if you take us for example,” Buck said. “We could have met so many other ways. You left the 118 and I started. Chim and Hen invited me to drinks several times that first year and I know you went at least to a few of those. There’s the time that you flew in and dropped water. The day at the bridge collapse. The day I ran into Lucy at the badge and ladder bar. So many other calls that we’ve both been at in some capacity or another. We’ve been circling each other for years and maybe we weren’t quite ready for each other, but every single person that’s been involved shares a string with both of us. And our string, Tommy, our string is red.”

“Oh,” Tommy said. “So you knew when we met.” 

“Yes, but I don’t think it would have changed anything if I didn’t know,” Buck said. “I mean, I noticed how attractive you were and then the string and then I had a bit of a sexuality crisis.”

Tommy nodded slowly. He pulled Buck’s hand to his lips gave his knuckles a kiss. 

“So,” Tommy said, “why did you freak out in there?” 

Buck had almost forgotten. It was the effect that Tommy had on him and Buck wouldn’t have it any other way. When he was with Tommy everything narrowed down to him and Tommy and nothing else mattered. 

“Well, turns out her red string goes to Eddie,” Buck said. 

Tommy’s eyes widened and then he was laughing and Buck laughed with him. For Tommy the stories were a bit fresh because Buck had been ranting a little when Eddie told him about his plan to sic Taylor at Gerrard, so Tommy got exactly why Buck had reacted the way he had. 

“Evan, tell me you’re joking?” 

“Nope,” Buck said. 

The door to the kitchen opened behind them and Eddie peaked out. 

“Here they are,” Eddie called behind him. “I swear, we thought you were having sex in the bathroom and I was going to be really mad.” 

Taylor stepped out and the string was right there between them, glowing and existing and Buck wasn’t going to do a thing about it. However fate dealt those cards…well, maybe Buck would get some entertainment out of it. 

“I told you they weren’t having sex in your bathroom,” Taylor said to Eddie. “But you are wasting our time, Buckley. Get your muscular boyfriend and come back inside.” 

Tommy met his eyes as they got up and they both stifled laughter. Buck couldn’t wait to tell Hen about it.

Tommy grabbed his hand and they walked back towards Eddie’s house. Tommy stopped him right at the door, pulling him into a short sweet kiss. Buck saw the string between them glow and he smiled against Tommy’s lips. 

[bidisasterevankinard]

What is your opinion about the vertigo poster that Tim posted? People are saying that is a confirmation of Buck being in love with Eddie…

Im really tired about all the “will they, won’t they” and I love Lou and Tommy/Buck relationship, do you think Lou will come back for season 8 or are you of the opinion that they’ll break up on the finale?

Idk the meaning of Vertigo(tell me). But the things I know:

People was talking about "this detail"(I can name like 5 right now without thinking much) says what buddie will happen. But it never happened

Ryan literally called Eddie HETEROSEXUAL. which means now no one sees him as queer and nothing like that will happen. Especially while he still deals with Shannon and her ghost, if ever. All the talks "but Tommy/Eddie was in plan means Eddie is queer" miss the point it was on the same stage of planning as Maddie/Eddie before 2x1. They had idea, they looked at their story, talked with actors and said "no, It's not what we will do" and dropped it. So now people need to understand that in canon creators see Eddie as hetero. Ryan sees him as hetero and Tim really respects and listens to opinion of his actors about their characters (I still hc Eddie demi btw, but people need to understand hc and canon is different things and I respect Ryan's opinion)

Ryan also said it was important for him and Oliver to play how queer man comes out to his straight friend and nothing between them change. It was important for him to play it to the situation he had with his close friend to show that men can stay close as before even if one of them comes out

Lou said bucktommy are thriving during what seem like 7x9/10 shooting

Tim called bucktommy rom-com and rom-com couple stays happy together in finale

Oliver is excited about exploring bucktommy's relationship and said it exciting to work with Lou and he hopes to get to know him

Both Ryan and Oliver told that they want to show that men can be close and vulnerable how buddie are without any feelings involved

Oliver said he doesn't want the situation where queer guy comes out and it means he's in love with his best friend

Lou till yesterday was not active in cameo which means he more likely was shooting and they kept it secret bc it can be spoiling. I can't see Buck's good and exciting coming out story, when he's so smitten, end with break up in the finale

Also, bucktommy kissed right after Bobby's wedding speech, right after madney's kiss with the love song which soooooo deep connected to madney's love story still playing. They could drop the music, not show the kiss, but they did. To show the point that Buck and Tommy are falling for each other step by step. And Tommy is the one calling Buck 'Evan' and it was confirmed important(and that Lou was instructed not to call him Buck) in they way that Buck loves how Tommy calls him that and to point out how different Tommy is. Which means that they plan to leave Tommy as long term. At least try to and gather reaction from ALL the fans, not just buddie fans

Also. It's season 7. And all the seasons Buck tries to find stability in love life, settle down. And it starts to get boring and painful to see how 911 use him to bad love stories and arcs. The last season started with him trying to prove he can be good captain eventually and Bobby tells him he needs to gather some more experience and settle down at ease, before he will be ready. And it's actually time for Buck to settle down. And Tommy can be it. Person who likes him, who respects him, who runs to him, who chooses him. Buck can settle down with Tommy and be finally at ease with love and look at what else life has for him. New hobbies, new possibilities in job(not even become a captain, but for example lieutenant as somehow our show doesn't have it, they might think about adding it. Or become mechanic. Or something), new friends even

So, I'm pretty positive this poster means nothing more than Tim appreciated the, as I know fan's work(correct me if I'm wrong), and Bucktommy and Lou are here to stay and people should get use to it

[kneazle]

Read on ao3

Regret was an emotion he was all too familiar with.

It was what he felt leaving Evan on their first date, even knowing it was the right choice– and now the regret burns hot for leaving Evan again. 

Except this time it hurt. This time he lost the man he loves because he got scared, because he needed to save what he could of his heart before Evan shattered it to bits. Just Tommy's luck, he didn't realize it was too late to stop it until he pulled into his driveway, the damage was already done– to his heart and relationship.

Then came the following days, and Tommy expected it, but it still stung and made his eyes sting with tears he refused to let fall as he stared at his quiet phone. A week later and no one, not even Howie or Eddie, had reached out. Not even to tell him off.

Tommy's heart ached twice over. For Evan, and for the friendships he built and ruined, all of it in one night.

Hatred for himself grew in his chest and made a home by the time a month went by.

By month two he was grounded from flying and didn't bother fighting it. Not when his eyes burned with lack of sleep and a permanent heavy weight was on his chest as everything he was feeling swirled together, becoming too much at once. 

Month three was right around the corner when Tommy heard from one of Evan's family for the first time—because they were his family not his friends at the end of the day—and it was one of the last people he expected to hear from.

"Hello?" Tommy answered the phone with a dull tone, staring at his empty coffee cup that held the last of the coffee in his house. 

"Hey Tommy."

He pulled the phone away from his ear so quickly, it fumbled in his hand, barely catching it before it hit the floor. Tommy's heart raced. "Chris?"

"Yeah, I hope it's okay I called."

"W-What? Of- of course it's okay!" He swallowed trying to push down the emotions rising, his hands shook. This was it. One of them was finally going to tell him off, to tell him god knows what, that would make the weight on his chest grow until he crumbled. "But uh, how did you get my number?"

"Buck sent it to me when- when I left, and said I had more than him and dad to talk to if I needed it."

Tommy sat down heavily on the barstool at his kitchen island, he let out a shaky breath at the mention of him. "I'm- I'm sure you know-"

"I do, but not any details, I don't need to know."

"You might not want to talk to me if you did-"

"Why? Because no one else has? Your reaction was pretty telling."

Tommy sighed, letting out a dry laugh. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that bud?"

"Oh I know I'm smart." Tommy laughed for real this time, a small smile pulling at his lips as he could practically hear Chris's grin through the phone. "But I'm also not like everyone else, Tommy. I wasn't around for your relationship much but I could see your feelings for Buck."

"Yeah well...I blew it either way."

"I could see his feelings too, they're like flashing neon lights actually. He's never looked at anyone the way he does you and that isn't going to change because you messed up."

"I walked away from him Chris, he has abandonment issues and I walked away without much of an explanation or leaving him to say anything-" 

"So explain, and let him say what he has to." Chris sighed and Tommy felt the 'are you stupid?' energy from that sigh. Okay, he deserved that. "He's going to be upset and angry but if you really love him you can handle it." 

"The things he was saying though-"

"Tommy. I don't know what either of you said, but you two love each other and I know if you actually talked it could be worked out! Not everyone has time with the people they love, Tommy, don't waste it."

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the palm of his hand. He knew Chris was thinking of his mom, and Tommy wanted to kick himself for being selfish. Evan was within his grasp if he fought, not everyone had that chance.

"How about this, you talk to Buck, and I'll talk to dad."

"Chris!" Tommy sat up straight. "That's not-"

"Well?"

He blinked at all the attitude coming through with just one word. Though should he really be surprised? Chris was a teenager. 

Tommy was terrified to talk to Evan despite wanting to because Tommy missed him more than he ever thought he could, but if Chris held up his end, could he really hide behind his fear? He thinks of Eddie coming over to take out his emotions on the punching bag in his garage or the aggressive way Eddie would spar with him knowing Tommy could take it. Eddie may not want to be his friend anymore, but Tommy still cared about him, and if he could give him this chance?

"Are you actually going to talk to him? Lay it all out?"

"Yeah, I'm tired of all this anger I feel Tommy, I miss my dad, but will you?"

Tommy knocked on the door with his heart in his throat. 

His breath caught at the sight of him. His curls wild, flour all over his apron that covered a sweater Tommy knew was his– he looked a mess but Tommy thought he looked beautiful. 

Shocked eyes roamed over him, and Tommy tried not to flinch at the intense gaze knowing he looked terrible. He had bags under his eyes, his own hair all over the place, and clothes he obviously had been wearing since he came off his shift the day before, not giving himself time to change after Chris's phone call in case he chickened out.

"Evan.." Tommy breathed out. 

A mix of emotions swirled in his eyes, written all over his face, but the last thing Tommy expected was for Evan to pull him into a hug. "Tommy.." He choked out, relief and hope in his voice.

Tommy felt his eyes water as he returned it, Evan's arms tightening around him when he did. He buried his face in Tommy's neck, breathing him in. Tommy squeezed him as much as he could.

They had plenty of talking to do, but in the meantime they let their hearts settle for the first time since that night– and the weight on Tommy's chest lessened with Evan in his arms.

[cjlouwho]

"and if it's chimney you can also have tommy point out chimney only remembers tommy's number when he needs a life-saving favor. sorry, I'm pissed about that one. I really thought we'd get some tommy&chimney friendship."

Wow I feel this like! This season was like Chimney and Tommy didn't know each other. Hen I understand, but Chim and Tommy?! They have history together

The post-breakup made me mad at part of 118. Sure, I understand them wanting to protect Buck, but in this case, what are they protecting Buck from? Did Buck tell them how the breakup went? Did they try to find out Tommy's version? These characters used to discuss everything about their personal lives: we saw Chim talk about his relationship with Tatiana, Hen talk about how Karen felt FOMO, Eddie talk about Ana (even though pressured by the others), and Buck talk practically everything about Taylor and Abby with them... We even saw Buck talking to strangers about the Albert/Veronica situation... So now they don't talk about these things anymore, and Tommy, who without hesitation flew a helicopter into the middle of a hurricane with them, risking his life and job, is now like he's just a stranger who will disappear? The others don't care? After being in Buck's life for the last 6 months, being there for Chris' surprise birthday party and in the waiting room while Denny was in surgery? Sad.

I cannot express to yall enough how shit the writing has been this year!

Anyway, let’s remember to send our grievances to abc! There’s no limit on how many times you can send stuff in!