#sorry im rambling okay bye

[entering--hyperspace]

Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything

[lolathepeacocklord]

ghuuhh..... important.... announcement i must make.....................

I have an Etsy shop now!!! :DDD I just got it finished up and actually opened last night, so I still need to add like a custom pfp and banner to my shop, but I officially have oneeee single listing of a bulkhead pin on there 😼😼😼 if you are at all interested in checking this out I would mighty appreciate it gang!! :DD https://www.etsy.com/listing/1734745938/the-bulkpin

I'll be getting my shop more customized and pretty looking very soon, and eventually have more than just one single pin listed. So stay tuned !!!! ^^ <33 I love you guyzzzz bai bai!! runs away really fast cartoon skittering sfx

[cheriekos]

these are super, super informal and unorganized thoughts but god these panels are haunting me so:

it’s interesting to finally be reading some of the issues that i assume influence general fanon perception of damian because there’s so much emphasis on the actions against tim (and like yeah fair, fucked up let’s not move past that) but also there’s little moments sprinkled throughout that made me go “…this is a child. This is a whole child.”

like idk man! These two pieces of dialogue are very striking to me! “See? I can be useful!” And “Look at me, Mother!”. Maybe it’s just because I work with kids but i read this and very clearly hear a child’s voice! And sometimes i think because a lot of people get caught up in the “formal” way that damian speaks that people forget he’s a kid. A very competent, highly trained kid. But he’s a kid.

Again, i don’t think Damian’s actions can be brushed off just because he’s a kid, and (within the content of the Morrison run), has had some fucked up shit going on. But like - for fanon, I’m just begging folks to strike the balance between talking about Damian being held accountable for his actions and also understanding that in this point in time he’s like maybe nine or ten-years-old. Idk! I’m tired of reading analysis and fan fiction that absolutely crucifies Damian and doesn’t try to find the nuance at all.

[jerrsterrr]

im so excited im gonna die

(sitting perfectly still, monotone voice)

[linkvcr]

goooood afternoon skysword nation

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[bnuuys]

i love u aira tumblr i love u aira tumblr i love u so much aira tumblr

[taegularities]

regarding: colour me in — feeling sick to my stomach writing cmi11.. like, shaking crying throwing up im scared of even posting it lol

[cloversugar]

a while back i was talking to some friends about their thanksgiving, and the big question was what insane out of pocket conversation starter that your family pulled over holiday dinner, and the general consensus was either like bigotry or borderline offensive conspiracy theories, but when it got to my turn, and they’re like “oh yeah what about you saturday?” and i was like “oh yeah um y’know………..mpreg” FOR CONTEXT i have a relatively eccentric family to say the least so there’s really no way of telling what will come out of our mouths and when or why, it’s just something you roll with; so i’m zoned out picking a cracker off the charcuterie board, my social battery is low, and i already got over the hard part (explaining why i’m not in college yet lol) when i’m curb stomped back into reality after hearing “did you guys know they’re letting men give birth now?? i think i read something about it they’re like taking hormones and everything.” PAUSE. PAUSE. i just want to know where they read this. like something tells me that this isn’t like actual news and they just ended up on a strange part of the internet and got confused? i don’t know.

[brain-in-a-skin-suit]

Okay so disclaimer i haven't seen Dead Apple in a while, and I also didn't go into writing this with a conclusion in mind, so its a bit of a mess.but! i did reach a conclusion! Sorry for any inaccuracies, I was working from memory for a lot of this. please correct me if im wrong about something! Also pretty please add any connected theories if you have any

Warning: long post

I remember watching Dead Apple and being really thrown off by the fact that Fyodor's ability seemed to be chill with him. Every character aside from him who had an ability manifestation was fighting their ability. This makes me think that in his natural state (not affected by Shibusawa's ability), Fyodor is already fighting his own ability, so when Shibusawa was doing his thing, the relationship flipped and they got along.

In chapter 108 of the manga, fyodor suddenly says he's controlled by "a demon" and follows it up with this:

then he says this:

which is really key. It implies everything i suspected from Dead Apple-- Fyodor's ability is his enemy.

Of course, right after this scene, he stabs Sigma and basically says "teehee I was lying the whole time"

But I don't know if I truly believe he was lying (which isn't a hot take, I've seen other people who believe the same thing). What he said earlier really fit with the conclusions that could be drawn from Dead Apple. There is a real possibility that he when his ability regained control it just, ya know, lied.

Okay fine, whatever, what is his ability?? who, or what, is he? to be fully honest, I don't know.

But here's what we do know -- or for many of these, what we suspect (in number list so i can easily refer back to them)

1. Fyodor might be immortal. A very popular theory based mainly around the fact that he is everywhere in the BSD timeline but never seems to age

2. His ability probably works against him in some way, likely taking over his body due to some "weakness" that was brought forth by the ability, and then taken advantage of. I am going to refer to the "good" Fyodor we briefly see in ch 108 as 108!fyodor just to make things easier for myself.

3. He can kill non-gifted with a touch of his hand. I don't think he can kill gifted the same way (he had to shoot the cat-lady, plus every ability-kill we've seen thus far has been of non-gifted victims)

4. Nikolai does not know how to kill him (still unclear on the whole poisoning plotline-- I have seen the theory that Nikolai didn't poison them earlier, but the "antidote" is poison. Still not fully clear on how all of this fits together), and wants Sigma to find out his ability so he can kill him.

5. In Dead Apple, he was split into "Crime" and "Punishment". One person was an ability manifestion just like everyone else had been dealing with, the other was Fyodor himself acting as part of his ability-- which is odd because the ability is supposed to sever the gift from the gifted. and yet fyodor was still part of it, just fragmented. This supports the fyodor is not fully human idea presented by Sigma's question of "what are you?" and the immortaity theory. It also supports an alter-ego, as he had two personalities there.

6. fyodor has some vendetta against the gifted despite being a gifted himself

7. gifts are typically a result of some type of trauma or past experience. we do not really know his backstory.

so point 4. Nikolai doesn't know how to kill him. Assuming everything 108!fyodor said was true, this dagger could kill him:

sword Kladenets is an established sword type, typically belonging to a hero (interesting that fyodor has one...)

"In some heroic poems and ancient Russian legends, a sword Kladenets acts as a self-cutting sword, which, on the orders of its owner, can cut down an entire forest or at least the whole enemy army. Other weapons could heal or make their owners or holders – invulnerable."

interesting stuff. invincibility? Well, fyodor may be immortal (see point #1), so that could go hand in hand with that. It would also explain why a sword Kladenets would be needed to kill him-- any other weapon would fall short.

Also, fyodor's "ability" involves being able to kill other people easy-peasy by tapping them (point #3)-- which is the same thing the sword kladenets does. Remember, every person he's killed with his ability bled out where he touched them-- as if they were cut with a blade!!

But why can't he kill ability users? my theory is that abilities are on the same level as a sword kladenets, and therefore the sword cannot do it on its own. Fyodor can only be killed by the sword kladenets that he wields and not by an ability; he cannot kill an ability user with the sword. makes enough sense to me

okay, what else can we learn from the sword?

Everything I read about the sword describe that the hero has to find the sword; by digging it from the ground or taking it from a dead body, or some other way of earning it. Then the sword will work with the hero. But Fyodor's ability (which I am beginning to believe is simply the sword he wields) works against him (see point #2), which makes me think he obtained the sword without earning it. This could be the "weakness" that was brought forth by his ability and allowed for his ability to overtake him-- which makes sense!! he would not have that weakness had he not obtained the sword!

The sword is also often given a personality-- it is a character in itself (which would explain the alter-ego point #5)

furthermore, how could he have a sword in prison if it wasn't part of his ability??

So! what I am trying to say is that fyodor somehow wrongly obtained a sword kladenets (or perhaps in this universe, the sword kladenets), and is now controlled by it. this led to him form an alter ego (the sword's personality), which overtook him due to the fact that he did not earn the sword, and was not powerful enough to control it. The sword gave him the ability to be unkillable (and therefore immortal/unaging), and the ability to kill non-gifted easily by simple contact.

i would like to emphasize that i am very likely wrong, as this is BSD we're talking about after all. I am working from memory and a very small amount of research, and also using this as an excuse to procrastinate. Take this with a grain of salt. but also, please add onto this if you have thoughts. I have not read Crime and Punishment (I have copy but I've been busy) or any other Dostoevsky book, so if you have and you think this relates to his books in any way (or that it contradicts them) I'd love to hear it!

[ofcowardiceandkings]

[sits on the floor]

im wamt to draw cute smooshy fings but i have feelings about stuff

[seraqhites]

waiting for my lover to return from war

[o2amu]

damn I really got school tomorrow 😿

[georgierre]

.

[snow-and-saltea]

finished like 153 chapters in one night. i love these kinds of executions for yandere characters so much. i love it when a story takes mental illness and psychological brokenness seriously and still be able to create a beautiful interpretation without fetishizing that appeals to the very raw and basic nature of wanting to be loved so badly that fractures a person. i love stories like this that show us the worst of a person but doesn't rush to ease them again. i love stories that show the darkest pits of the human psyche and makes you go, "this is happening but it isn't the end. wait just a bit, and ill show you how things get better." i LOVE when stories do that; get all meta and create a story within the story that the actors/characters have to now see their way through and reach the scripted happy ending that feels impossible and illogical to reach as a conclusion, but happened anyways. stories that are seemingly taken out of the author's hands and into the characters instead and them being like "i know you believe this happy ending to be false, because you can't believe it'll be achievable through anything but delusion. but just wait, i'll show you." (thinking particularly about the princess iron fan arc in act age bc that still makes me tear up)

the depiction of ptsd and mental illness was something i was particularly touched by, too. the "problematic" aspects, ugly aspects, of mental illness were addressed so kindly and compassionately, and the solution never felt like it was straight up telling you "you're messed up. this isn't right, you're not normal". this is something i would've expected reading a story with a yandere character, because for most people the appeal of a yandere is to be attracted to someone who is Fucked up but hot. but like. even rebuttals like "no that's not normal! that scares me!" were handled so casually -- almost to the point you could call it carelessly, but it wasn't careless at all. it was a deliberate choice to not make a Huge deal about being turned off by someone's thoughts or preferences that made for a much more judgement-free and loving environment to agree or disagree with each other.

rindo is really the ideal wish fulfillment for mentally ill buddies like me along w kim kitsuragi sjjdjdjfkfkf. like i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, to see the twist that oh this guy is gonna be fucked up too! bc of the Genre! but no. he's kind, steadfast and humourous, and is so generous w his capacity to love people. he might be understood as a selfless martyr type with the way he keeps wanting to reassure amane even during really troubling events in the plot, but he was never traumatised by those events and he had a clear and sane mind the entire time. its so easy to think of him as a "victim" in an overbearing codependent relationship in the story, but he's just really emotionally resilient. he doesn't give up, he doesn't take hurtful words at face value because he knows something deeper is at play, he doesn't hesitate opening up first and being vulnerable or pushy if it helps amane feel less ugly being vulnerable with his thoughts and desires towards him.

this is a fictional story and not irl, so obviously like. irl, you wouldn't want to enmesh yourself so deeply with someone that you'll die if they do. but he was willing to do that. not necessarily that, but the same gesture -- "if i ever betray you, you can kill me, and then we'll both be the last thing we'll see". on paper, even just writing it, makes me sound insane and delusional. how could this be something someone sane could say? but he WAS sane, because he was also saying "you said you love me so much you want to die with me, so you must also mean that you love me so much you want to live with me forever. this means your heart wants to be with me, so stop deceiving yourself into thinking you'll be fine. know that my heart and yours are joined in the same way, because i want to see you at the end of my life too, and there's nothing wrong with that."

rindo has such a great talent for finding multiple meanings, often positive, to amane's thoughts. because his mind is often muddy and swamped with unpleasant words and memories when he spirals / ruminates , he can't stick his hand through it long enough to see what comes out when he pulls out of it. very natural, normal and human desires you form with someone you love: "i love you. i'm scared you'll leave me someday. i want to be with you forever. i don't know if i deserve to be this happy. i love you. i love you. i love you. i don't want to spend a day without you. i want you to be happy and i want to be involved in making you happy, but i feel so incompetent that i'm worried i'll fail too much. i love you. please love me back.”

the way the characters in this story is so kind genuinely ... makes me want to cry. like rindo's mom accidentally saying homophobic things at first out of surprise but then her Maternal instincts took over and she could have another son to shower with love. the way everyone looks out for them but doesn't judge their relationship or try to messily break them away from each other or intervene for their "own good". there's no unnecessary drama or misunderstanding that isn't solved within 1-2 chapters in a really clear, reassuring tone (while also maintaining a natural pace so as to be thoughtful to the writing).

man. i cried multiple times reading this story. i was just here for the yandere BL ride, not the unexpected feeling of love and validation for my mental health issues?!

[starryaike]

I think a lot of the general misunderstanding of the characters come from people fixating on small details rather than looking at the larger picture.

It seems to me, for example, that people looked at sans' boss fight, something that could be seen as a "twist" due to how little you see him throughout the game and how he doesn't fight you in any other routes, and took away from it "see? He totally WOULD kill you!" without taking into account the fact that he doesn't even attack you unless you've killed literally everyone else in your path

And, similarly, people saw Chara saying some ominous stuff at the end of no mercy and then jumpscare you and went "yep, seems like they're the one at fault for the genocide route for sure!" ignoring how 5 minutes later they explicitly tell you you're the one who did it.

i will never forgive popular UT fanon for using chara as a scapegoat in the genocide run and making "sans recognizes them and attacks them on sight regardless of what run they're in" headcanons so pervasive.

mostly because "restless spirit of a long dead child who's obsessed with the concept of cosmic retribution and facing consequences for your actions" + "guy whose job is just that but he treats it on par with his hot dog sidegig" is potentially one of the most hysterical dynamics you could come up with