#U CANT SEE MY USERNAME BUT ITS DEFINITELY ME

[bnuuys]

i love u aira tumblr i love u aira tumblr i love u so much aira tumblr

[homingpigecns]

.

until last year i stayed friends with a grand total of One (1) friend i knew in high school and now. i have finally stopped talking to that friend. it is sooooo so nice to romanticize longevity and history and wow they have always been there but there's a point where it's like.

it is so embarrassing so i haven't talked about it because it's really like, fully pathetic, but i saw them the first time recently bc i hadn't seen any rl friends bc i had a years long slump where i just kind of took up space at home and i was embarrassed about it but i got my life together again last summer and i was like okay, i can respond to the question "how are you doing?" without breaking down into tears, and my friend did express interest in seeing me again and i really wanted to see them. so i saw them a while ago and i had fun and i was so happy and i was so grateful to still have this connection after all these years, after all the ways i've been and my colorful history, and i just. their birthday was about a month later and really extremely uncharacteristically of me i remembered, and i ordered them a weird little personal birthday tchotchke off etsy and got them a michaels gift card and hit them up like. happy birthday we should hang out soon on the day of and it was all very nice. i didn't expect something soon nor did i care too much. but a couple months ago when twitter was gonna implode i followed them on insta (even though i deleted my personal insta because i know personal instas only teach me things about people i don't want to know) and as a consequence of that i learned that my friend was not able to see me because i was not invited to their birthday thing. which was with a friend of theirs i kind of know and an old close friend from high school i lost touch with but asked about and sjdfhsdf. literally expressed interest in the time i just saw them.

DO YOU KNOW HOW PATHETIC THAT IS........JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT IT..........LIKE I AM A KICKED PUPPY. I AM 24.....I HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE............I AM A UNION MEMBER........AND I GOT REALLY EXCITED ABOUT MY FRIENDS BIRTHDAY AND I WASN'T INVITED TO THE PARTY...........

and you know there are probably actual reasons. i burned bridges with people in high school that they liked more than me, and i am too mature to care about who likes more than whoever now, and it is too insane to hold things from high school against them now that i am 24 and have regular cardiologist appointments. but it is also like. how many times do i have to die. i have grown past so many things the last three years that i thought i could never overcome and i can't, i don't want to, grow into someone who is mature enough to hold someone who's been important to me since i was 14 at arms length so it doesn't hurt when they inevitably drop me. currently, i commute an hour in the wrong direction so i can be on the same train as a work friend and i am aware the energy is insane but it is my energy and giving it and getting good things from it is like. this is better for my personal development than whichever way the other direction goes.

and it's like i don't even blame my friend from high school for how they feel about me because i was insane in a bad way in high school and i've done enough it's like. whatever. but it's like, also, when it's like, yeah this was half of the two people who permanently messed you up to the point people still are like "hey i didn't see you there. come over and say hi next time" when i avoid them because they're talking to someone else, who watched your friend group make a group chat and hang out together with everyone except you and didn't say anything and you were grateful they still threw you the bone to hang out one on one and it's like. i'm not. i don't really hold it against them, it was years ago, i don't think about those people anymore and yes i am still weird in many ways but for other reasons as well, but there is like. a very huge lack of pattern recognition and failure to learn and it is absolutely. my fault. when you put it like oh the person who killed me a thousand times throughout high school and college still has the power to kill me now and sometimes will? VERY OBVIOUSLY I AM THE PROBLEM.......i can't play high school anymore i have to play Being At Work and Surviving Capitalism Despite Everything, Did You Know I Am 24

anyway i decided to just quietly softblock my friend on everything, unfriend on discord, remove myself from the situation when there wasn't really an inciting event so i could just kind of fade out. but i did just find out that my friend did notice, and blocked me on twitter without saying a word -- which you know, is fine and understandable, because i did do all of that first. but what a metaphor you know. that is what the years of friendship are, and that they have stacked up this much to still hurt me is my fault. but hopefully for the last time.

[sugar-omi]

LMAOOO MANAGER BAXTER YES YES YES

he's so sick of yall. he actually gifts you a leash and muzzle n tells you to control that damn dog bc he still hasn't fully covered last months drama!!!

you've definitely been caught in the parking lot w the car shaking or someone sees cove n you going into the bathroom together in the back of someone else's video/livestream

if someone does try to create some fake dirt or digs up something from your past that you dont like/doesn't look good, whoever did it is so fucked!!!

if/when certain "fans" make a stink abt cove dating he definitely posts a photo of him giving the middle finger and the caption "ion have to give yall shit lol"

and "my partner >>> u sorry bitches. oh sorry, i mean 💓💘💝fans💗❣️💕"

he pasters you everyyyyywhere. changes all his profile pictures to either you and him or yall holding hands, or a matching keychain or smth like that and his usernames to things like "y/n's man" and his header literally says "fuck u lol"

baxter cant even cover this one up. and really he doesnt try to. partially bc its too big n cove aint gonna stop, but also bc someone has to do it

he ends up on TV and in articles and he only does a couple interviews bc he's not gonna repeat himself twice. basically tells the world to get off artists/creators backs about their love life and what they do and

"you can't seriously think i'd fuck some sweaty, creepy stalker would you? as if, i'm not that freaky. maybe yall should touch grass instead of consuming media, since you really think i'd want you."

and when he goes on tv, they're wrapping up n the host asks if he has any last words. n its like he flips a switch, all smiley and cute, his voice softer than how it was thorough the interview

"i just wanna say one last thing. thanks for watching, i hope this got through to some of you. but if not, and you decide to keep harassing me and my lover... die🫶😊"

puts his hands into a heart n everything.. his smile all sickly sweet and if the host tries to play it off or someone makes a video abt "how could he do that!?" he just replies to it with a video (or going on the show if its some other show host throwing a stink abt "something so disrespectful!")

"i mean it. yall started it first n imma finish it! so if you don't like it, kiss my ass, darling." n blows a sarcastic kiss for the camera<333

omg cove is so sweet to baxter n derek though

he brings gifts n thanks them, gives derek a big bear hug n slaps baxter with a big wet kiss on the cheek just to fuck w him (may or may not follow it up with "might wanna check your email!" bc he maybe. possibly. just considerably.. did smth bad on the way here....)

also yes yes cove wouldn't trust you w anyone else. if he's going away or you're going somewhere without him, he demands derek stays w you bc he'll be fine but he'd be damned if he didn't make sure you were 100% safe<33

also cove so spoils you. always offers you his lap, has your name on all his cards (the only reason is accounts even have his name on it is bc how tf else would he cash his checks and he needs to have access too)

whenever he brings you to interviews he always ends up talking abt you, even when you're not there..

omfg even if you are or arent there with him when he tours, he always dedicates his songs/shows to you

"this show is for you guys to enjoy, but it's really for my lover!! we're gonna shop and eat like kings after this, baby!🫶"

like pls. everything that his, including himself ofc, is yours.

omg marrying rockstar!cove.... the wedding would go crazyyy i just know it

Imagine marking up rockstar!cove before a show knowing his habit of taking his clothes off during shows

(I have been thinking about this since your drawing of him 🙏)

bro the pap and his fans have a fieldddd day w him. everyone knows what's he's up to n his fans are JEALOUS!!!!

fan, posting a vide of coves marked back/chest: WHAT WAS HE DOING BEDOTR THE SHOW HELP.....

cove: them *replies w a picture of yall in bed*

omg his manager n pr team hates him.....

[moonguilt]

15 & 19!!

15.  shuffle your playlist. pick your favorite lyric from the song the playlist shuffled to. “The sea waves are my evening gown And the sun on my head is my crown I made this Queendom on my own And all the mountains are my throne”

- Queendom (by Aurora)

not sure if singular “lyric” meant i was only supposed to pick one word but uhhh w/e this verse is great... your girl loves royal imagery & nature imagery so im all over this.. if i had to pick one single lyric i’d probably go with “crown”

19. an artist you think is overrated

hmm i dont really dislike most artists. if i dont enjoy their music i just move on w/ my life, i don’t like trashing them unless they’re actually bad people. if they’re not doing bad things then they’re just pursuing their passions and i don’t like the culture of “oh this artist is so mainstream and it annoys me” like maybe ppl just really like their music... that’s a good thing... so many people are prejudiced against like, harry styles for example because of his association w/ 1D. i dont listen to his music but he seems like a nice dude just trying to live his best life and it saddens me that so many people hear his name and instantly are like “ewww that boy band guy that little girls are obsessed with, he’s so overrated”

(“many people” are me--i was like that for pretty much the entirety of my teenage years before i realized that i was being dumb and hipster and that i was participating in a culture of shaming young people, especially girls, into feeling guilty or cringey for liking what they like)

long story short i dont think any artist is overrated. i think many are underrated, sure, but i don’t begrudge musicians for being successful. my only exception would be for genuine assholes like idk chris brown or smth but he’s not “overrated” really since public opinion of him is Not High hmfkgdjh

[jotarosbelt]

Colorful Camboys, 2.

a/n: hi!! i'm back! i finished up school and got a bit of my writing inspo back, so, i thought i'd write another Colorful Camboy's chapter for you guys <3

hope you're all staying safe! enjoy~

p.s. i haven’t written smut in a HOT minute and lowkey forgot how to write for josuke, but i tried! i’m sorry 😭

p.p.s. i didn’t proof read :) we die like men, fuck it

————

Summary: A Modern AU where your favorite boys are just trying to get off and make money.

You're one of their viewers and happen to catch their attention.

————

18+ content ahead!

Josuke - Pink

You’d come to the point where porn was honestly just boring.

It didn’t hurt to want to try something new! Maybe a new genre, a different site? But, all of it was the same old same old. And the disgustingly cheesy, clickbaity titles didn’t do much to turn you on or catch your interest either. You pursed your lips as you scrolled, coming across a camboy website.

You blinked. ‘A camboy website?’

Curiosity had ultimately gotten the best of you as you clicked the link. Almost immediately, tons of live-streams came up, thousands of boys right at your disposal.

‘This is gonna be fun.’

You scrolled through the plethora of streams in search of a boy that appealed to you. For the most part, a good chunk of them were your type. In shape, good looking— there weren’t many bad apples on the tree you were picking from.

Your eyes landed on a certain pompadoured boy by the name ‘ShiningDiamond1999.’ The username definitely raised an eyebrow or two, and the boy sure was good looking, so you simply clicked the stream to see what was up.

He wasn’t popular for no reason. He was cute! It was the oddly ‘adorable, yet super hot’ combo, and girls (and guys alike) were eating that shit up.

You sat back as you watched the boy palm himself through pink boxers.

“Oh? We gotta new person, huh?”

He leaned forward, hand still on his cock as he narrowed his eyes at his monitor. Part of you was embarrassed that he caught you so quickly— he had so many patrons there already! He must’ve been an attentive host.

You liked that.

“A guest, eh? How about you give me a name to call you by, cupcake? You don’t have to make an account for me to take notice of you, yanno.”

You couldn’t help but smile. He seemed sweet; he gave off the aura of someone who’d take care of his partner no matter what, and you had to admit that it was comforting. Not only was he easy on the eyes, he was someone who gave off the impression that he wouldn’t break your heart despite the fact that everything he said was meant for both you and the thousands of other viewers he had right now.

He really must’ve been good.

You splayed your fingers out across the keys, typing out a response. ‘Just call me [username].’

You could see him raise an arched eyebrow. He smiled brightly and leaned back into his chair. “[Username]? I can do that for you, babe.”

Teasingly, he ran his fingers down his torso to the waistband of his boxers. He simply smiled mischievously at the camera and popped the band against his hipbone. “Enough with the chit chat, yeah? I don’t wanna bore our new guest, so let’s get this show on the road, babies!”

Thumbs slipped under the elastic and pushed his underwear down his muscular thighs. His cock sprung out, slapping against his toned stomach and you couldn’t help the groan that escaped your mouth. No wonder he was so loved— he was sculpted by the gods themselves.

His bottom lip wrung itself between his teeth as he gripped his member with a large hand. Up, down, up, down— the motion was hypnotizing as it was erotic, and you could’ve sworn the way he looked at the camera while he did it brought you to the brink of an orgasm alone.

“I hope you’re touching yourself, too, baby girl. I don’t wanna be the only one getting off.”

His hand left his cock to push his boxers the rest of the way down. Without the restrictions the garment brought, he spread his legs wider. You could see everything from the way his balls tensed whenever he teased his head, and the way his asshole clenched around the pink buttplug on the downstroke.

Your eyes widened. ‘Buttplug? He's into that?’

Your eyebrows relaxed and a sly grin took form on your face.

The things you’d give to ruin this boy.

“God, fucking—“, he keened desperately, “I wish you were here right now.”

You subconsciously rubbed your thighs together. You were here to get off, but his performance was so goddamn captivating that you didn’t want to take your eyes off of him for even a second. So, you did what you could to strip yourself of your shorts and panties while still watching, reaching over to grab your vibrator.

“You’d be taking care of me right? Stroking my cock till the head turns red— shit—“

The soft buzz of the toy filled your room and you gingerly placed it on your clit. You jolted at the sensation. It had been a while since you had a nice session for yourself; you didn’t have much time to draw it out and really make yourself see stars. This was nice. Being able to sit back and watch somebody get off to help you get off wasn’t something you had seen yourself doing, but you really might have to make it a more common occurrence.

“[Username].”

Your eyes snapped open and met his, despite the fact that he couldn’t see you. You switched the vibrator over to your non-dominant hand and let the other reach out to the keyboard to type out a quick “yes?”

“Since it’s your first time here, I’ll let you choose.”

Well, this was interesting.

The man on the other side of the screen reached out of frame for a moment to grab something. When his hand entered view again, he had a hot pink dildo in hand.

“So, love, buttplug or dildo? What’cha in the mood for?”

You narrowed your eyes at the screen best you could in the midst of your pleasure-filled haze and typed out your answer.

‘Dildo.’

You didn’t miss the inkling of a grin that lied on his lips. The ravenette leaned back in the chair and pulled out the plug, replacing it with the pink toy.

“Hah~, fuck. Good choice, babe—!”

His eyes rolled backwards into his skull as he sank the silicon toy further into himself. You whimpered and leaned back further into your seat, bumping up the intensity of the toy. This was gonna be a good session, if you said so yourself. You’d have to bookmark this page for later.

“Fuck, I bet you look so good right now. All flushed and panting and wanting to cum, right?”

Your breathing sped up, chest heaving as your hips canted into your hand. “God, yes please—“

Almost as if he heard your pleas, he continued right after you finished speaking. “Then lets cum together. S-Shit, cum with me baby, I’ll count.”

As if on instinct, you grown the vibrator into you, putting it on its highest setting. It was enough to make you jump out of your skin. You had goosebumps everywhere, cold sweat was running down your forehead, and your thighs were shaking like mad. How could a stranger have so much power over you?

“Five.”

You forced your eyes open to look at your screen, eyes locked on the streamer and his hand furiously jerking himself off. You watched as his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.

“Four.”

Your vision began to blur. You were so close yet so far from your orgasm, and in all honesty, you could’ve came right now. But, finishing with this stranger seemed a lot more appealing than doing it on your own.

“Ah, fuck— three—“

The veins in his arms bulged and he reached around to grip the base of the dildo. He threw his head back as he fucked himself it, his jaw falling slack and hanging open.

“Two—!”

At this point, both of you were chasing your releases like animals. There was something so primal about this— backs arched and hips spasming as you both selfishly chased euphoria. You gripped the side of your desk chair bruisingly, waiting for him to finish counting and—

“One— fuck, one, I’m cumming—!”

Your moan mixed with his as it came out of your laptop speaker. He whined, you yelled, and you both were riding your orgasms like a wave. You hadn’t cum that hard in a while. It was the kind of finish that makes you see stars and make your scalp tingle, and when you came down, you saw the camboy covered in his own release and strands of his hair out of place.

He looked so out of it. He was panting heavily with red airbrushed over his chest and cheeks, and pieces of his once perfect hairstyle stuck to his forehead. He was definitely not present in that moment in time, still on Cloud 9, but you didn’t mind watching as his vision came back into focus and his breathing slowed.

Slowly, he reached down to pull the toy out of his ass and place it some place out of frame. He laughed airily, his large hand running down the expanse of his throat momentarily before speaking.

“Alright, that was really fun. I gotta go clean up now, but I’ll be back to tomorrow, same time!”

You followed his hand as it moved to his mouse to end the stream.

”Oh, and I hope to see you again tomorrow, too, [Username]. I hope you had fun, love.”

This user is now offline.

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[sarcasti-cally]

@bokutokoutarou​ omfg i just saw this now hello thank you for tagging me?? i love you so much yes uh i’m a huge WET SIMP (i literally have my username as wetsimp for games n shit its cursed) for iwa, so. yeah- sorry lev. iwa came first 😌

iwaizumi x jazmyn ❤️ ❤️

how we met

i feel like i was just straight up vibing outside of aobajohsai, just roaming around waiting for someone to pick me up???

i hear the squeaky squeaky in the gym and i go 👀 

of course this bitch goes inside, because i’m very C U R I O US. yessir, yessir.

first thing i see. IWA. JUICY HUNK OF A MAN, IWA.

i wouldnt know his name because 1. my memory is shit, and 2. my memory is shit.

you just hear me screaming “YEAHHHH GO NUMBER 4!!! LETS GOOOOO WORK IT!”

after their practice, he’d kinda look at me weird but i think i’d be the first one to ask his name, while at the same time my face is kinda blushy blushy.. i mean my knees would just buckle when i stand up in front of him- i’d kind of regret it (because secretly im so fucking nervous omg), but not really.

even though i seem so extroverted- hell no am i going to ask for his number first- holy shit i’m gonna have to wait for him to give me his, i will literally be so scared of messing up what i have with him because i dont want to lose our little playful arguments we have.

100% whenever i’m with iwaizumi just hanging out in the halls and i see oikawa, i’d definitely just mention how great of a person he is, and that i’m his #1 fan just to make him jealous :)))

i’d definitely annoy him during the classes we have together.. for example: breaking a pencil in half and throwing it at him.. ripping pieces of paper from my notebook and throwing it at him.. eraser shavings.. etc.

while we date

im now a mess.

he teases me because when we first met i was a literally a bully to him, but now he knows EVERYTHING. i cant hide the fact that i actually wanna hug him like my own personal 5′10 teddy bear.

he probably calls me a tsundere (like all my other friends 💀) and i would not stop messing with him for the entire day. i’d probably yell in the halls, “IWAIZUMI HAS A SMALL DICK, I REPEAT, IWAIZUMI HAS A SMALL DICK! ITS A MICROPENIS!” when school is over, you’d catch me BOOKING IT.

i’d spam him weird ass tik toks, cursed images and memes every 5 minutes. probably ask if he wants to exchange thigh pics too.. 😏

YOU’D LITERALLY CATCH ME LACKING PLAYING SIMS AND MAKING HIM AND ME FUCK IN IT AHGHAHFHA 

i already see him telling me to go to sleep when its 4am, and i’d OBVIOUSLY continue to stay up until 8am. whenever he tells me to go to sleep, i’d reply with “make me” just to see what he’ll do.. like pin me against a wall and whisper sweet nothings into my ear

i secretly love it whenever he mentions my height.. (uhithinkihaveasizekinkhelp) because he’s just so.. HOT. i love his arms. his legs. his thighs. his calves. his chest. his face. his ears. his- EVERYTHING

i’d always offer if he wants anything. “do you want me to cook for you?” “do you want me to get you cereal?” “want something to drink?” “want me to get you a blanket?” because i will do ANYTHING for this man. and i’m not even a good cook, so thats saying something.

i’d take his hoodies without him knowing until last minute and he’d just smirk at me.. yknow??? and that smirk will make me die, honestly.

practically forcing him to watch a horror movie with me at a cinema, since he’ll probably mention that i get really scared and cry when i watch them but its ok, because i’ll be holding onto him the entire time!!!

AMUSEMENT PARK DATES. YES. GET ME A BIG TEDDY BEAR. i’m pretty sure he’d repeatedly be saying.. “are you sure you’re tall enough for that ride?”  😶 

no cap i could literally go on and on about iwaizumi so imma just stop myself before i write a whole story about my weird fantasies i have whenever i go to sleep 😇

[toothpastecanyon]

We Walk Like Humans Do, Chapter 2

The Transcendence has been, on the whole, a good thing for magical creatures... for the ones that walked on two legs and fit in doorways, at least. Lacie has other problems to overcome before she can live in the big city.

Thanks to @feferipeixes for help editing this chapter! Go check out their awesome stuff!

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

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               Oh, my stars. Alcor hasn’t laughed this hard in lifetimes.

Chapter 2 of Wizard Animago’s Not-So-Secret Spellbook - Everything You Already Knew About Transfiguration and Literally Nothing Else

Hi, I’m 18Lacie5 and I wrote another chapter for you humans. Everyone was really confused on my last post and seemed to think it was a joke, so I’ll start out by answering the five most common questions you had.

1 - Yes, I am a basilisk.

2 - No, I am not the basilisk from Harry Potter.

3 - No, I do not live in the Chamber of Secrets from Harry Potter.

4 - No, I am not the horcrux snake from Harry Potter.

5 - No, I am not in any way related to Harry Potter.

Are we all on the same page now? Good, because holy shit some of you really missed the point here. I got a visit from one of you with a replica of Gryffindor’s sword, and that was so annoying I didn’t even feel bad killing him - like dude, all that tells me is I KNOW you read my post about not coming down here, and then decided to come down here anyway ‘cause fuck me, right?

(The sword wasn’t even that good. It was made of cheap plastic, snapped like a spine.)

Anyway, despite all this the last post was fun to write, so I’m doing it again. Also it seems like the number of visits from treasure hunters has gone down since I posted, though it’s hard to tell. There’s not really a consistent number from year to year, and the day I start keeping a deathcount is the day I give up on life and buy a mirror to see if I can kill myself with my own reflection.

For science, you know?

               Alcor’s read the entire blog by now and it’s just perfect. The snark, the sarcasm, the casual disregard towards human lives that could only have been written by an ancient and powerful being - it’s hilarious!   And the spell entries… man, he could listen to Lacie tear apart someone’s Latin any day of the decade. If only she could come to some of his summons; she’d have so much material to work with there.

               With a chuckle, Alcor looks up and glances around the darkness of the Mindscape. He needs to show this to someone. But who? Mizar? She’s only a year into the current reincarnation… hmm, she might be a little too young to understand it. Lucy Ann’s somewhere around; he probes for her, and finds her - dammit - during naptime at some kindergarten in Portland.

               Anyone else?

               …

               No one else.

               There’s absolutely no one else in his life right now. That’s… that’s a fun reminder.

               He sighs, and sits back on the fabric of reality. Maybe some cultists’ll summon him; he could read them a blog post, see if they laugh. That’d be fun, right?

               Al narrows his eyes at the great nothingness before him. It’d be something, at least.

               ...You know, he can feel a little tug now.

               A weak one, just one summoner, and no circle. That confuses him at first - even the real amateurs usually manage to scribble out some sort of rounded shape - and when he looks closer, he sees it’s holding one of his summoning cards, holding it in its… hand?

               No, not quite a hand, and Alcor jolts right up as he realises shit that’s Lacie trying to call him, shit he didn’t think she’d call him back so soon! How long did he keep her waiting? It’s been a couple hours - shit!

               Alcor tessers over to her in an instant, his mouth already open and spilling apologies: “Oh my stars Lacie, I am so sorry for the delay! I got distracted and I didn’t think you’d call back so soon so I wasn’t watching as closely as I-”

               A deep, rumbling growl cuts him off. It’s a deafening sound, coming from a creature lounging on a pile of bones and gold with teeth the size of Alcor’s entire body; he can’t help but cringe at that. He takes a deep breath, remind himself that he’s an all-powerful demon who definitely doesn’t need to be scared of some mere mortal… even if she is pretty scary for a mortal.

               You know, relatively speaking. He isn’t scared, he just thinks she’s scarier than, like, a human.  Like a human from that pile of human skeletons she’s smashed into the wall. Yeah, that’s not scary at all. That wouldn’t kill him… looks like it would hurt, though.

               He double checked he isn’t standing near that spellbook she’s bound to, right?

               Just as he’s thinking this, Lacie lets out another even louder growl, and he jumps back with an undignified yelp.

               “Hey, whoa, Lacie!” Alcor watches her head shift to the side. “Lacie? Hello?”

               She doesn’t reply, and he looks to her face for an answer. He sees one of her eyes now: it’s closed?

               Closed.

               The realisation washes over him as she lets out another slow, rumbling snore.

               “Oh. You’re… you’re just sleeping, aren’t you. Duh.” He straightens, and casts a glance around the room as he fixes his tie and straightens his hat. “Glad no one noticed that… Lacie?”

               She doesn’t stir, and Alcor makes a face. He’s never turned up to a summons  and had the summoner fall asleep; would she want him to wake her up? Her dreams feel pretty peaceful to him, and even though that thing - is that a giant laptop? - she’s using as a pillow doesn’t look particularly comfy, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

               Yeah, it looks like he should just let her call him back… but there is something. Embedded in her sluggish thoughts, he can feel a sort of drive, a sort of desperation, and that makes him hesitate. He looks for her tail, and spots it still wrapped around his summoning card, still squeezing it in a death grip.

               Alcor frowns. He watches her snore one more time, then makes up his mind. With a deep breath, he reaches out and prods at her thoughts; they immediately begin to stir. He prods again, and Lacie lets out a grunt. Her eyelid cracks open, and she drags a sleepy glare across the room.

               Her gaze meets his, and he feels pain, pain in his soul, his soul feels like it’s being pushed out through his ears ow ow OW- and he recoils, unable to bear it for a second longer.

               Wow, he thinks, that really is potent. What on earth makes it so powerful?

               Before he can wonder about that, there’s a noise. Gold coins clink against each other as Lacie jerks up, blinking hard, panic flashing in her aura. Alcor holds up his hands.

               “Hey, hey, it’s just me!” He looks down as she fixes her eyes on him. “Sorry if you, uh, didn’t want to be woken up, I just thought… you know, you called me, and… what are you doing?”

               She’s cast the summoning card aside and is now wiggling the touchpad on her laptop. He cocks his head.

               “Whoa, I’ve never seen a laptop that big. Where on Earth did you buy that?”

               Lacie doesn’t acknowledge his question. She starts typing something, and he floats closer to see her login screen.

               “18Lacie5. Heh, I like your username.” He watches her click on the password box and slowly, painstakingly jab each key with her tail. “E… Y… E… What? Why are you looking at me like- oh. Oh, I’m so sorry!”

               There’s a faint snort from Lacie as he turns away. His cheeks redden.

               “Sorry, I forget hu- uh, mortals? Mortals tend to like their privacy on stuff… it’s kind of useless since Al-V can hack into pretty much any computer on earth - um, the Alcor Virus, that’s Alvie.” He hears the typing stop, and suddenly wishes he’d chosen literally any other topic in the world. “Um, not that I would make him hack into your computer! I’m just saying he could, and he probably has already… um, I just made him to get rid of Twin Souls though, you’re fine! O-or you should be fine - you don’t, by any chance, happen to like Twin Souls, do you? It’s, um, this book - well it’s a movie now but it was a book - and Mizar - who is my sister by the way - well, that’s why I hate it, because it has my sister and I, umm…ugh, sorry, it’s gross, my sister and I, we’re- huh?”

               A low hiss makes him look back, and he sees Lacie - ow - staring right at him. She gestures to the screen, which has a word document open on it with big, bold letters.

               “Oh, you want me to read that?” He floats closer, and frowns as he reads the first line:

               Im pretending 2 type rite now 2 see how long u wil ramble 4 wtf youre still going and now twin souls no nono why r u explaning i actually cant take the awkwardnes i got 2 stop u

               Alcor blinks, then shoots her a dirty look. The noise coming out of her now sounds an awful lot like snickering.

               “Wha- I was just-! I just wanted to clarify the hacking thing I said, I-!” The snickering gets louder, and he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I guess I’m a little rusty at small talk, very funny. I’d like to see how awkward you’d be if the only practice you could get is on a bunch of cultists in basements. They’re not exactly social butterflies either, you know!”

               Lacie just keeps laughing, and Alcor… well, he puts on a show of crossing his arms and heaving a long-suffering sigh, but he’s fighting a smile.

               It’s strangely nice, being here. Lacie’s strangely nice to be around; she already feels - and he has to remind himself he’s only met her twice - almost like a friend? Maybe he just has a low bar these days, but he hears her laughter, and… it’s just very, very nice. Nice in a way that’s hard to describe.

               Nice in a way he hasn’t felt for a while.

               The feeling lingers even after Lacie’s chuckling dies off, and he’s still smiling as he watches her reach for the laptop again. She jabs the down arrow a couple times, and some more, better punctuated text comes into view.

               I have revised the terms of our deal, it starts, and Alcor clears his throat, squares his shoulders, tries to get himself back into business mode. He reads on: and I would like to exchange the human bones that are currently in my room for a human disguise I am capable of putting on and taking off at will.

               He raises an eyebrow as he reaches the end. This is not the deal he was expecting to make. A human disguise… he can tell she’s no demonologist, that’s for sure; there’s so many interpretations of that, so many wonderful ways to tw͏is͡t her̡ ̵w̢or̵d̸s ͏a͟g̢ai͘n̸st͠ ̢h͝er-

               No. He shakes his head to clear it of his worst instincts, but they won’t leave, not in the presence of such an enticing deal. Suddenly, he’s glad he doesn’t have to look her in the eyes right now; he trains them on the ground instead, and starts to speak.

               “So, um… when you’re saying a ‘human disguise’, what do you mean by that?” He can’t see her face, but he can see a bolt of frustration flash across her aura. “Huh? What’s- oh right, can’t talk, uh… well, do you want me to make an actual, convincing disguise? You know, instead of, like, a wig and some sunglasses?”

               Lacie nods vigourously. He watches her tap the caps key and add ‘CONVINCING’ before the human disguise bit. A part of him screams at all the opportunities he’s giving up - willingly! - but he forces a smile and nods.

               “Cool, I can do that. I’ve made a few humans before- human bodies, that is, not… um.” Alcor coughs. “Anyway, I can give you a convincing human form for those bones of yours. How does that sound?”

               She taps the screen.

               “What…? Oh, yes, I’ll make it so you can switch back and forth at will. Good catch. Now, do we have a d̕e͇̪͍̜̻̪͘a̙̻̬̦͔ͅl̲̝͓͔?”

               He doesn’t extend a hand to shake, but blue sparks spurt from his fingertips as he watches Lacie mull it over. Her aura fizzles with nervous energy, but it only takes a couple seconds for her to tamp it down and give him a firm nod. The rush of a newly made deal makes his grin go wide; he tries not to let it go too wide as he claps his hands together.

               “Alrighty, then,” he says, rubbing them until those sparks turn into a full-blown fire. “One meatsuit coming right up!”

               He extends a hand to the pile of bones in the corner of the room, and with a flick of the wrist he rips the energy from them all  and absorbs it. The sacrifice warms him like a good meal, and he turns back to Lacie, ready to put that newly-gained power to use.

               He steps back and sizes her up with his hands, a gesture that makes her aura simmer with uncertainty. She makes a low, nervous sound, and he waves her away.

               “It’s alright, I just… need to remember how big a human is, how much I need to squish you down... Got it!!” Alcor readies his fingers to snap. “Okay, I’ve only done this on myself before, so there might be some kinks I haven’t thought of! Don’t worry, though, I’ll probably be able to fix them!”

               Before Lacie could respond, he snaps his fingers, and his magic rushes around her like a cloud. Skin forms over scales, hair grows over horns, and the figure that remains when it disperses is unmistakably human.

               It’s also falling to the ground from the height of Lacie’s head, and oh shit catch her catch her catch her - he freezes her momentum a couple inches from the ground then lets her plop, safely but definitely not gracefully, into a puddle.

               “Oh, my stars! Are you okay?” Heart pounding in his chest, he dashes over. “I am so sorry about that fall, how are you- ow, okay , I’m gonna need to get you some sunglasses or something - how are you feeling? Here, let me help you up!”

               He extends a hand, and Lacie… just stares at it.

               Just stares at him, not moving, and he can feel panic flaring up in her aura as she can’t move, oh stars she’s so tiny right now and she can’t move oh fuck-

               Alcor blinks. “Oh, right. Um, don’t panic-”

               Don’t panic??? DON’T PANIC??? FUCK THIS SHE’S LIKE FIVE INCHES TALL RIGHT NOW AND SHE CAN’T FUCKING MOVE OH MY STARS WHY DID SHE DO THIS TO HERSELF THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA SHE’S EVER HAD IN HER LIFE-

               “Lacie? Take a deep breath… Lacie? Lacie!” He cringes when Lacie’s eyes fix on him again. “Okay, um, I can see this is… a little stressful for you?”

               She nods vigourously.

               “Alright, um… don’t worry, I made it easy for you to change back! You just, y’know, gotta think of yourself being a basilisk again - or is it pronounced ‘battle-isk’? ‘Bas-til-isk’? Heh, that’s a weird word, I’ve only ever seen it written down-”

               Lacie ditches her human disguise as fast as she could, shooting back out to her original form and cutting Alcor off mid-tangent. He jumps back, watching relief flood through her aura as she could move again, thank the stars she could actually move and everything’s normal sized again… fuck, everything’s normal sized again. She wasted her deal!

               The relief’s spiking up into another panic, and Alcor clears his throat. “Alright, so that deal didn’t go to plan. No worries! I can’t exactly do refunds, but you’ve still got plenty of good stuff to sacrifice in here! Doesn’t bother me if this takes a few tries, heh.”

               But that doesn’t calm Lacie in the slightest, because now she has to think of another deal, her mind’s blank, she’s got nothing! But she’ll fall asleep if she makes Alcor leave again… maybe she will have to go for that deal.

               It’s hard to read her thoughts when they go quiet, but Alcor definitely picks up something about that deal as they’re retreating into a murky bubble of disappointment. He sees how she hangs her head at the idea, then lugs her laptop over to her, begins to peck away at the keys.

               He sees that, and frowns. “Hey, uh,” he starts, and right away her eyes dart over to him. “If you don’t want to make a new deal, I’m sure we could make this one work?”

               Lacie cocks her head.

               “I mean, I’ve been… I know a thing or two about being in a human body. It’s been a while, but maybe I could… y’know, show you the ropes?”

               She doesn’t say a word. The silence stretches, and Alcor laughs nervously.

               “I-if you want. I mean, it’s been a while, but maybe I could show you enough to get around? I did technically promise your disguise would be ‘convincing’, so a couple human lessons should be easy enough to fit in, without… without another deal... um, I don’t know if you like this idea or you want me to stop talking? If you do that’s fine, I can do another deal, just give me a-”

               There’s a sort of fwoomp sound, and the coils and coils of Lacie’s body seem to twist out of existence. At the same time, a human takes shape where her head was, and falls right into Alcor’s arms before he has time to blink.

               “-a sign?” He finishes, and stares down at her. She stares right back, and he’d admire the steely resolve, the carefully-controlled fear in her gaze a whole lot longer if it didn’t make his soul want to push itself out through his ears.

               “Oh, Okay. Wow, you’re, um… diving right in, huh?”

               Lacie gives her closest approximation to a human smile, and Alcor’s caught off guard by how quickly he finds himself grinning back. An actual, genuine grin stretches across his face for the first time in too long, and he chuckles.

               “Alright, Lacie, I like your gumption!” He summons a pair of sunglasses, and sticks them over her eyes. “Let’s get humaning!”

________________________________________________________________

               Humaning. Lacie had taught herself many human things over the years; she’d taught herself to read, to type, to write - heck, she’d even managed to summon a demon (and in proper human tradition, had made a poorly thought-out deal with it.) She was no novice in learning how to human.

               Maybe that’s why she thought the whole human form was a good idea. She was great at humaning! She’d taught herself so many of their skills, educated herself on so many of their customs, she was able to pass as one of them online… sometimes, it really didn’t feel like she was all that different from them.

               After all, if she could read like a human and write like a human and think like a human, how hard could it be to walk around like one, too?

               …

               As it turns out, hard.

               Very, very hard.

               Duh.

               Everything, everything is different in a human body. Sure, she thought having arms and legs would take some getting used to, but how about all this hair? How about her cramped little mouth and her stubby tongue? How about her skin? Her skin is stupidly sensitive without scales; when she was lying on the stone, she could feel every little bump in it, could feel water soaking her, making her shiver - and shivering, ugh! What an awful sensation! Even though Alcor’s got her propped her up in a chair now, her skin won’t stop whining to her that, gasp, the fabric’s a little itchy!

               Whoop de fucking do, skin. Hopefully she grows a thicker one soon enough, because this is driving her crazy.  She’s laughing at the Lacie of a couple hours ago who thought she’d just be able to stand up and walk out of the sewers, and oh, speaking of walking ?

               Hah! Try moving them at all!

               Lacie’s been without these strange appendages all her life, and moving them would be like a human trying to nod with a second head they’ve just sprouted - sometimes she’ll get lucky and hit upon whatever bundle of nerves is controlling each of these limbs, and after two hours of Alcor’s patient coaching she can make them twitch on a somewhat consistent basis, but she’s not getting anywhere fast with them any time soon.

               She can only lie here, with her blunt teeth, with her papery skin, with her useless limbs…

               Helpless.

               Absolutely helpless.

               Alcor looms over her whenever he stands up… and that scares her more than she thought it would. Everything looms over her in this form; the - she called it little - pile of treasure she sleeps on now seems like a great mountain, the ceiling she often bangs her head on is higher still, impossibly high. She sees her spellbook resting on its lecturn, and it’s about the same size as her now; she remembers how tiny it once seemed, and- OH FUCK WHAT’S GOING- oh, she’s shivering again.

               Lacie frowns at that, and she lets out a noise that’s weirdly squeaky in this throat, and Alcor taps her shoulder.

               (And she feels that, holy shit skin it’s literally just a hand)

               “...need to take a break?” He’s asking. Frowning. “Lacie?”

               She nods, quickly, and he takes the sunglasses off her face before scooting back. Closing her eyes, she thinks of being a basilisk again, and all these alien sensations fall away with a flood of relief. Lacie is herself again; she takes a long moment to savour it, to lounge across her sleeping pile, to listen to her scales scratch against the stone floor, to open an eye and see Alcor as a tiny figure in her field of vision.

               “That looks comfy.” He says. He’s grinning, but she can barely make that out. “Darn, I should’ve moved the chair, too.”

               The chair? She lifts her body, and finds the chair she’d been sitting on, crushed beneath the weight of her coils. With a little chuckle, she sweeps it out from under her, marvelling at how tiny it is - how tiny she was.

               Alcor laughs, too. “Sheesh, you flattened it. I think it’ll be easier to make a new chair.”

               Laying her head on the ground, she lets out a lazy snort.

               “…um, when you’re ready, I mean.” He adds. “Or we can stop, if you’re tired? I can-”

               She heaves herself up. Ugh, she is tired - it creeps up on her. She can’t sleep though, not when she’s so close, so fucking close to getting out of here.

               “Oh, okay… are you sure? We’ve been at this a while, I really don’t mind taking a break…”

               Lacie tugs at that mental link in the back of her mind, and feels herself switch back into human form again. Unlike switching the other way, this form greets her not with a flood of relief, but with a host of silly little complaints: her back hurts, the stone’s not comfy on her face, it’s cold, she’s wet, on and on and on and she just wants it all to shut up… but, she will admit, there is one thing she likes.

               Alcor hoists her up on one of those tiny little chairs she’d been laughing at just a second ago, and she stares at him, and she feels awake.

               Completely awake.

               She can’t remember the last time her head’s felt this clear, and it’s a pity she has to spend half her human time fidgeting in a seat because otherwise it’d be amazing. Is this really how bad the energy situation had gotten down here? Wow, she really needed to get out of here, and fast.

               “Hey, Lacie?” Alcor’s saying something, and she looks over at him. “So I know you said - or, uh, indicated, anyway - that you didn’t want a break…”

               He pauses expectantly, and then, seeming to realise she isn’t going to follow it up with a ‘Yes?’ clears his throat.

               “Right. Well, I kind of would. Like a break. If that’s okay with you.”

               Lacie blinks.

               “You know, we’ve been doing this for a while, and I’m thinking maybe we could do something else? You know, it could be something fun! It could be something like, um, like… oh, do you play Scrabble?”

               She shakes her head.

               “No? Oh, I guess that was a longshot… how bout chess? I know there’s like, online chess… no?” He frowns at her continued head-shaking. “Alright, well… What do you do for fun down here?”

               Lacie thinks on that for a moment, then turns her head towards the laptop.

               “Oh, your laptop? Nice, nice.” He grins at her. “I love your blog.”

               Wait, her blog? He’s read that? He likes that? The surprise must be showing on her face, because Alcor starts laughing.

               “Yeah, it’s hilarious! I was actually so caught up reading it, I didn’t realise you were summoning me! I love just how sarcastic it is! It’s amazing!”

               Lacie blinks. Is he… gushing? Is Alcor the Dreambender gushing about her blog?

               Is this her life?

               “Man,” he rambles on. “that joke about a killcount, that was great. I just don’t get why it’s not more popular!  Humans, they just don’t have any taste… they’re, heh, they’re too busy reading Harry Potter, amirite?”

               He nudges her like he’s made some kind of clever reference, and she snorts at him. Okay, wow, demon or not, this guy really is an absolute plonker. She loves it.

               “Haha, yeah! They’ve been, uh, playing Quidditch too much to read your stuff! Yeah! Or they’ve been, um… making swords? Making- I should stop now, shouldn’t I.”

               With a big dumb grin on her face, she nods.

               “Yep, that was getting out of hand.” Alcor rubs his neck. “I just wanted to say I really liked it a lot. It was funny.”

               Lacie’s grin got even bigger.

               “So, uh, you really have been down here all your life, huh? Dealing with treasure hunters-” He chuckles when she rolls her eyes. “Hah, I can imagine that’s not fun! Yeah... so, uh, have you ever been outside?”

               She shakes her head. Maybe before she was old enough to remember, but that was a long, long time ago. Alcor makes a face at that.

               “Yeah, yeesh. No wonder you want to get out of here, no wonder…”

               He trails off, and Lacie watches his eyes go distant for a second before a thought seems to strike him; he blinks, frowns, then, slowly, he starts to grin. He turns to her again, and she raises an eyebrow at the shine in his eyes.

               “Hey, Lacie,” He says. “Want me to take you on a little tour?”

[ghost-nabbers-imagines]

🖱Penpal: Sal x reader

So this will be written as you would see it on your computer. Basically you and Sal are penpals online on like AOL or something. You guys are still talking in between these dates obviously but I thought it would be better to show the progression of the relationship overtime.

4/06/1998

12:15 PM

Maskedbassist has logged on.

(Username) has logged on.

(Username): Hi maskedbassist! I was matched with you on that penpal website.

Maskedbassist: Hey,well nice to meet you.

Maskedbassist: I mean sort of. Nice to meet you digitally i guess.

(Username): lol :P ur funny. Can I ask about your username?

Maskedbassist: sure, well the bassist part is because I play bass.

(Username): C00l! and the masked part (0.0)?

Maskedbassist: well I'd like to say it's just because it sounded cool. But actually its because I have to wear a prosthetic. My face is pretty messed up.

Username: damn sorry to hear that :( bet it looks cool as hell tho

Maskedbassist: lol I guess

Username: kinda like a slipknot

Maskedbassist: Hell yeah, that's what my friend Larry says

(Username): Larry sounds c00l

Maskedbassist: he's the c00lest, hes actually about to be my step brother. My dad is marrying his mom

(Username): that's so gr8!

Maskedbassist: so what do you like to do for fun

(Username): oh I do a little (hobby 1) and I'm also learning (hobby 2). Hbu?

Maskedbassist: sweet! I like to play guitar and find ghosts

(Username): ghosts?

Maskedbassist: yeah our apartment complex is full of em

(Username): woah that's c00l! Ur like an irl Ghostbuster!

Maskedbassit: totally!

Maskedbassist: hey, so I really like talking 2 u but I gotta go for the night :( wanna talk 2morrow?

(Username): that would be g8!

Maskedbassist: c u then!

(Username): bye :p

Maskedbassist has logged off.

Username has logged off.

8/02/1998

3:30 PM

Maskedbassist has logged on.

(Username) has logged on.

(Username): Hey Sal!

Maskedbassist: hey (y/n)!

(Username): how was back to school shopping with Lisa?

Maskedbassist: it was nice she helped me pick up some cool stuff. You looking forward to school starting?

(Usernmame): eh more or less. U?

Maskedbassist: not rly. Kinda wish you went to my school. It'd b gr8 getting to talk with u irl

(Username): ikr! Maybe I could come visit next summer?

Maskedbassist: OMG :D THAT WOULD BE EPIC

(Username): lolz I'll talk to my parents 2nite about that. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

Maskedbassist: even if I'm a stranger u met online...

(Username): u dont feel like a stranger anymore. Besides I've told them all about you. Plus you sent me that pic of u, So they know what u look like.

Maskedbassist: I'm so excited now! Plz msg me asap when u find out!

(Username): Definitely! G2G eat, talk l8r?

Maskedbassist: yeah! Byeee!

(Username): bye Sal!

Maskedbassist has logged off.

(Username) has logged off.

12/25/1998

6:15 PM

Maskedbassist has logged on.

(Username) has logged on.

Maskedbassist: Merry Christmas bb <3!

(Username): Merry Christmas babe <3!

Maskedsinger: you haven't opened it yet right?

(Username): nope I waited! U ready???

Maskedbassist: hell yeah!

(Username): oh Sal I love the bracelet! Do u have the other half?

Maskedbassist: yep! Glad you like it <3 I LOVE the guitar pics! And the strap! It's so cute it has little drawings all over it! I cant believe u remembered I needed 1.

(Username): I'm so happy you like it XOXO

Maskedbassist: XOXO

(Username): oh wait theres more? Sheet music and a drive?

Maskedbassist: Plug the drive in.

(Username): OMG Sal u wrote me a song???

Maskedbassist: do you like it?

(Username): are you kidding?? I'm crying thank you!

Maskedbassist: thank you babe, ur the best present I've ever gotten.

(Username): seriously stop I'm crying already! I can't wait to hug you this summer! :,)

Maskedbassist: XOXO <3<3<3

Maskedbassist: Lisa is calling me for dinner :p talk 2morrow?

(Username): Goodnight Sal <3 XO

Maskedbassist: Goodnight baby XO <3

12/31/1989

11:58 PM

Maskedbassist has logged on.

(Username) has logged on.

Maskedbassist: hey babe!

(Username): hey Sal! Excited for the new year?

Maskedbassist: just because it's one month closer to when I see you

(Username): me too! I cant wait for summer!

Maskedbassist: ill finally get to hug you irl

(Username): yay! <3

Maskedbassist: 1 minute away from 99!

(Username): too bad we cant kiss at midnight :(

Maskedbassist: well just have to do it on here till we can kiss in person!

(Username): they started the countdown

Maskedbassist: 5

(Username): 4

Maskedbassist: 3

(Username): 2

Maskedbassist: 1

(Username): happy new year <3 XOXO

Maskedbassist: *short video of him blowing a kiss*

Well it wasn't the longest one ever but I hope you liked it, it was definitely fun to write!

~Lex💛

[imhereonthekitchenfloor]

For the ig thing its a blank account thats private no photos but the username is mocking my name and the account log in is my professional email not my personal one. I always kept my personal and business life separate so ya. It definitely freaks me out. I did try to report it but it vanished the next day so i guess its good? Although i keep getting password resets to my professional email and stuff. Is this person u think doing it as a joke or ill intentions? Im scared!!!

Oh that's creepy. See if you can figure it out, but make sure you have very secure passwords and security questions so they cant hack in. Is your office email publicly available? maybe talk to someone in charge of tech about getting a new email address if it continues. I dont know if theres a way to report hacking to a company email but I would try. Hopefully they stop but that's a bit scary.

If they start doing anything more severe, impersonation is illegal and you could probably get the police to help you!!!

[greenshi]

OCtober Day Ten: Memes

Xavier was spending today the same way he spent most days; lounging around his house, putting lots of time and research into things that have very little meaning. Today's topic of interest was underwater volcanoes. Suddenly, a message popped up in the corner of his vision.

'BECBAT417: hihi! Uve seen that meme w/ u in it, rite? :3'

'Ex-Wy-Ze: what are talking about??? im not in a meme'

'BECBAT417: ya u r! i saw it! >:c wait, ill send it 2 u.'

Bec messaged a grainy photo of Xavier walking through the forest one night. The saturation and sharpness had been set to max, and text at the top read "me going to eat shredded cheese out of the bag at 4 am." Despite the alterations made to the picture, the ominous red glow coming from the visor attached Xavier's face was a dead giveaway. Xavier just stared at it for a while, shocked and afraid. Bec messaged him again.

'BECBAT417: did u get it? wat do you think? funny, rite XDDDD'

'Ex-Wy-Ze: no!!!! of course not!! i cant be a meme! what if someone recognizes me? what if OWEN finds this??? im fucked'

'BECBAT417: u r not fucked! im sure he hasnt seen it ^U^'

'Ex-Wy-Ze: how can you be sure??? fuck, he definitely saw it. the last fucking thing i need is HIM showing up. who made this?? who even took this photo?!?!'

'BECBAT417: dunno! i just found it online! it didnt have a lot of likes tho :''('

'Ex-Wy-Ze: well, thats good at least. whats the username of the account that posted it?? ill deal with them.'

'BECBAT417: its some1 called RedRozes.'

'Ex-Wy-Ze: great, thanks.'

With a sigh, Xavier looked up the account. He found his own meme, along with a few others of similar quality. It didn't seem like this person had many followers, thankfully. He sent them a private message.

'Ex-Wy-Ze: hey, could you remove that pic of the guy getting shredded cheese at 4 am? im the guy in the photo and i dont want any pics of me online.'

'RedRozes: lol your the cryptid? Wild.'

'RedRozes: i guess i can delete it. why do you care tho? cant even see your face in the thing lmao'

'Ex-Wy-Ze: thanks. im just a private person, I guess. where did you even find that photo??'

'RedRozes: np. took it myself. what were you doing wandering around at night with a weird glowy face?'

'RedRozes: straight up thot i was gonna die that night tbh and I dont get scared that easy'

'Ex-Wy-Ze: thats...just my face?? it does that. sorry I scared you.'

'RedRozes: lmao thats crazy man. dw we good.'

Xavier refreshed the page, and sure enough, the meme was gone. He breathed a sigh of relief, and returned to his research. On the other side of the woods, Jayne was excitedly telling Peter all about the nicest conversation she ever had with a cryptid.

[ellas-cottage]

first off i like ur username it makes me laugh. My question, are alot of canadians anti-feminists like you? or is it different depending the area u live in

Thanks! And i don't 100% know. The people I see most (i.e. the girls at school) definitely are more feminist than not, and I would say most millennials are too. I live in Quebec which is known for being extra liberal (and extra petty but that's unrelated), so I cant know what its like in the other provinces, or even the places in Quebec where I've not been. We have really rural places, which i would kind of compare to like the bible belt but with less bible.

[moonguilt]

I was tagged by @otheliame​ (ty!!!!) to answer some Questions so here we go

Name: Finn

Gender: female

Star Sign: Sagittarius (i Do Not vibe with the Sagittarius mood tbh but w/e)

Height: 5′3″ (and 3/4!!!!)

Sexuality: gay af

Favorite Book: u think i know how to read??? okay but idk probably red white and royal blue if i had to choose... man i only read fanfics nowadays. published books?? never heard of her

Average Amount of Sleep: honestly now that im in quarantine and i dont have to set any alarms? i usually get 7-8 hours. but before all this went down? idk 4 maybe.

Dogs or Cats: cats!! love those fuzzy little cuddly babies. i think dogs are adorable and i love seeing cute pics of them but i have a phobia of them so i dont like being physically near them. its not their fault, i just am violently repulsed by their mouths for some reason? idk i think it’s an ocd thing, i wish i could enjoy puppy snuggles :(

Number of Blankets I Sleep With: i live in new england where temperatures throughout the year range from <0 to 100+ so it depends on the season tbh. rn im chillin with 1 sheet and 1 light blanket but a week ago i had a huge fluffy comforter on top and in a month i’ll probably be down to just a sheet with no blanket..

Blog Established: uhhh good question... pretty sure i made this blog some time around s6-s7. so uhhh mid 2018? im guessing? but i think my first tumblr blog was hmmm probably 2015-2016

Favorite Animal: not to be a copycat but dragons ARE dope as fuck, i have one tattooed on me i love them so much. if i had to pick a non-fantasy one tho i’d probably go with cats bc im a basic bitch who misses her kitties

Number of Followers: 839 damn i cant imagine 839 people tolerating my bullshit every day. wild

Reason for URL: i am obsessed with lavender and i spent like an hour searching up lavender-related blog names to find one that wasn’t taken so that i could make my tumblr and ao3 simultaneously and give them both the same username. and i couldnt find a blog under “lavenderletters” so i was like COOL and i made my ao3 account that and then i came on tumblr to make my account here with that name and tumblr was like LOL just kidding that actually IS taken we just wanted to fuck with you. so i settled for this name instead and now my tumblr and ao3 are fuckin different and my aesthetic is ruined UGH now im riled

Something I’m Grateful For: my home life/family. i know it’s pretty rare to have a comfortable stable home life with a loving and supportive family so im definitely grateful for that every day. also, coffee ice cream if u read all of this, ur tagged now. sorry i dont make the rules. thats a lie i just made up that rule right now. anyway you are tagged, i make the rules

[buffalostorm]

Fanfic

a text exchange is implied between the Havenfall crew and I decided to write it

Set in Mackenzie’s route

occurs somewhere during Season 2 Episode 7, in the time gap between the two

MacMommy has come online

JuniorLucifer69 is online

MM: JD

MM: Can we talk

MM: Im not accusing you of anything

MM: JD you arent in trouble or anything

JL: sherif

MM: Im texting as Mac right now

JL: cul i like mac beter

JL: since ur mac can this wait for a sec im in the midle of sum stuf

MM: Does the bowling alley have some customers

JL: nah

JL: its crime stuf

MM: what

MM: JD

MM: Im the Sheriff now

MM: JD I will call Razi right now

JL: jk wat up

MM: Are you doing crimes

JL: not unles eatin froot loops is a crime

MM: its 9 PM

MM: and arent you at the bowling alley?

JL: yeh an i wanted froot loops

JL: i knew i would want froot loops so i took some froot loops in a plastic bag

JL: who made u the sherif of fud time

MM: weve gotten off track

JL: never knew what the trac was

MM: I wanted to ask for advice

JL: im literaly the person with their life the least put together

JL: the only thing im qualified to give advice about is precisely how much shit u can do and not get actualy punished for

MM: How about dating

MM: like asking someone out

JL: y do u need advice

JL: u 2 made out in front of the entire town

JL: not much of a feat

JL: the in front of the entire town part

JL: the making out was a biger thing

MM: Weve done more than that

JL: u 2 are together right

MM: We are together yeah

MM: We havent been on a proper date yet though

JL: havent u asked some1 out before

JL: wait

JL: uve done more than that

MM: I shouldnt have said that

JL: did u 2 do it

JL: DID YOU TWO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

MM: …

JL: WHATS THAT SUPOSED TO MEAN

JL: YOU CANT JUST DOT DOT DOT ME MAC

MM: Im just here for advice I dont need anything else

JL: OK but whether or not u 2 have screwed does change my answer

MM: I dont see how that has anything to do with it

JL: it absolutely does

MM: Im not answering that

JL: cool so u 2 absolutely did do it

MM: JD

JL: nah its cool im happy for u and all but le

MM: JD

MM: Are you there.

MM: JD you need to finish that sentence

JL: This is Razi. JD was texting on the job and they tell me I’m texting Sheriff Hunt.

MM: yeah this is Mac

JL: If I may ask, what did JD do?

MM: Nothing this is an informal conversation

JL: JD is telling me to scroll up.

MM: Please dont

MM: Razi

MM: Razi

MM: Razi you better be typing a very long message because I dont like this one bit

JL: jd back on the mic

MM: What happened

JL:  razi read through the rest of the conversation and started crying from laughter

JL: i swiped my phone back

MM: Do u remember when things like this stayed private

JL: pepperridge farm remembers

MM: Good times

JL: update razi is still laughing

JL: he has done the dad thing where he chuckles and shakes his head

JL: he mumbled something

MM: I dont need the play by play

JL: im more of a color commentator

MM: Can you bring him back in

MM: I could use the help

JL: ill help him get on

MM: Ill be waiting

JL: hes almost on

JL: hes trying to compose himself

MM: Does he need any help

JL: still trying to compose himself

JL: he has stopped giggling and put on a Serious Face

Guest42251413 has come online

Guest: Hello, this is Razi.

JL: henwo

MM: Welcome Razi

Guest: Why do you guys have initials and I don’t?

JL: u have to register

Guest: OK, how do I do that?

MM: JD can you help him

Guest 42251413 has registered as Razi420

MM: Did you choose the name

Razi420: JD helped me. I tried to register as Razi, but the system said, “Username taken,” so I tried Razi1 at the behest of JD. That too was taken, so then JD informed me that Razi420 was open so I took it.

Razi420: Wait, I don’t have initials.

MM: JD can you help him

JL: i dont know its just so difficult

JL: itll take 10 hours

JL: i remember when i changed my intials i had to fill out all sorts of forms

JL: it was such a hassle

JL: and you wouldnt make little old me go through that again.

MM: OK you dont have to help Razi

Razi420: I guess that an old man like me wouldn’t understand it.

JL: ill get diego on the line 2

Razi420: You know computers are so hard for people like me

JL: mac how much experience do you have with dating

MM: I havent asked anyone out in my life

JL: not even for a sadie hawkins

Razi420: The other day I learned about emojis.

MM: I went to a small high school no one else was out

JL: so is it a confidence thing or a what do i say sort of thing or whats a good thing to do kind of thing or what

DrEscalonaMDPHDBS has come online

Razi420: See, Diego knows what it’s like, you don’t know how to do anything, you don’t know the lingo, you don’t know how to get initials for your messages.

DE: What?

DE: What did you guys need me for?

JL: i just heard razi sigh from the arcade

DE: So what was going on around here.

MM: I need some advice

DE: mhm, and what for?

MM: Asking someone out

DE: You two are definitely together, is that correct? I remember you two sharing a ,ah, intimate moment together.

JL: theyve “done more than that”

MM: JD dont you dare

DE: I’m going to need you to be more specific, JD.

MM: You better not

MM: JD I swear on my mothers hashbrown casserole if you dare say a word that is off task I will smash your stupid John Lennon sunglasses on the ground

Razi420: Part 1: I’ve tasted that casserole, this is very serious. Part 2: I will not say a word about that. I will hold that as a secret to be divulged at your discretion.

MM: Thank you Razi

DE: All of that aside, this is a date between you and our friend.

MM: Yes

DE: Just making certain everything is clear.

Razi420: In addition, Mackenzie has never asked anyone out on a date.

MM: Most of my past relationships we just kinda ended up in the same place

DE: Coworkers?

MM: Yeah basically

DE: My experience may seem a little old and not suit your personal flair, but I will offer my advice

JL: THEY HAVE MOST DEFINITELY HAD SEX. THEY HAVE DEFINITELY DONE THE DIRTY. MACKENZIE AND MY LOVELY COWORKER HAVE IN FACT HAD A ROLL IN THE HAY.

MM: Are you done?

JL: not yet

JL: macken-ZAY has gotten biz-ZAY

JL: They have shagged, baby

JL: ok im done

DE: I see

MM: I want merely two things in the world

JL: is one of those a piece of that ass

MM: I just want to take my girlfriend out on a nice date

JL: im a prophet

MM: And a device where I can punch JD in the face whenever I want

MM: not too hard

MM: not hard enough to cause damage

MM: but hard enough to make them stop

MM: Is that too much to ask

JL: yknow not wanting to damage me is probably the sweetest thing u ever said to me

JL: also mac you can break my “john lennon sunglasses” i have 50 backup pairs.

MM: Just please tell me how to ask out a girl

DE: When you say date, do you mean “let’s go out to lunch on Friday,” or “Come follow me, I have a surprise for you.”

MM: The surprise one

DE: Is the surprise time bound or can the surprise come at any time?

MM: Its time bound

DE: How much planning went into this?

MM: A lot

DE: Please be specific

MM: I rented out the drive in theater for an exclusive showing

DE: That’s extensive.

DE: Are you certain she doesn’t have any commitments?

MM: …

MM: no

JL: doc were in havenfall the only other possible commitments u can have is harvesting corn or very specifics times for rituals

JL: those r the only 2

DE: Still, for future reference, it is polite to make certain there are no other commitments.

MM: OK

DE: So, the basic message is, come with me to the movies.

MM: Id like it to be a surprise but yeah

DE: mhm

JL: ok so for a surprise you gotta give enough to peak their interest

Razi420: pique

JL: idea lee u keep them guessing until u finally get to the location of the surprise

Razi420: ideally

JL: if u wanna go the extra mile leave a red earring  so they think ur gonna go someplace else

Razi420: red herring

JL: plant a piece of evy dance that suggests a bar crawl instead of a camping trip or whatever but be careful

Razi420: evidence

JL: u dont want to accidentally pull a bateman switch

Razi420: bait and switch

JL: no im pretty sure its bateman switch

Razi420: bait and switch

JL: its like when ur watching an episode of arrested development and then u realize that the entire time jason bateman was just a cgi clone and not the real jason bateman and then ur just like aaaaaaahhh man i wanted to see jason bateman and now i get this

JL: thats a bateman switch

Razi420: That doesn’t happen.

DE: That seems rather con fluted.

Razi420: convoluted

JL: so if ur seeing a drivein movie ur bringing blankets and other stuff right

MM: yeah blankets pillows and popcorn

JL: so thats pretty obvious

DE: It’s been so strange to see popcorn grow as a foodstuff.

JL: doc please dont weve wasted enough time as it is

Razi420: I’ve seen it too, it’s very strange how we’ve all decided it is only for movies and baseball.

JL: dont start this old man

Razi420: I remember when growing popcorn was the livelihood of some people.

JL: razi i will go over to the jukebox and play neil young right now if u dont stop

MM: JD youre wasting time yourself now

JL: right right

JL: so u arent going to be able to trick her into thinking u 2 are going somewhere else but

JL: but

MM: JD Ive never asked anyone out before Im not ready for advanced tactics here

JL: ok fine but never say where ur going

JL: keep it a mystery

JL: the idea is shes concerned with the mystery and when she solves it shes all like booyah and it makes the date better. so u gotta make sure shes gonna solve that mystery

JL: whats new scooby doo and all that

MM: and if she guesses the mystery

JL: just be noncommittal if she guesses right

JL: give a flat no to any incorrect answer and then give a maybe or an i dont know if she guesses right

JL: the maybe and the i dont know are in That tone of voice

MM: yeah I know That tone of voice

Razi420: I don’t mean to jinx it but I think this is the longest JD has a gone without making a joke.

DE: Wait, Razi, you, as a djinn, believe in jinxes?

JL: u might want to text her because if u build up the anticipation the payoff will be greater.

MM: JD I shouldnt text her I dont like personal conversations not in person

Razi420: Jinxes are a legitimate concept. I have plenty of data to back it up.

MM: but Im not even sure how to even start the conversation and get it leading up to asking her out

JL: mac ill let u in on a secret

JL: being smooth is 70% luck

JL: u gotta have quick thinking and all that

JL: but sometimes the right opportunity doesnt present itself and then u just gotta have an awkward transition

DE: Razi, jinxes are just coincidental, you point out something because it’s rare or you assume an unlikely outcome will happen, and when it falls through. You just say, “Oh, I jinxed it.”

JL: so mac, be ready to just go out and say would u like to go out on a date tonight

JL: i know that its not like that in the movies but thats closer to real life

MM: I cant work with “just do it” my brain doesnt like it

JL: u just gotta lean on ur natural charms

JL: ur going to feel really nervous so just lean into it

JL: be cute nervous

JL: she will love u cute nervous, mac

Razi420: Jinxes are like reverse wishes, someone says something and then the opposite effect occurs. The same powers are at work, but the etiquette of wish making isn’t followed, so the reverse effect occurs.

MM: I guess Im just worried she’ll say no

JL: shes not going to say no

JL: like i said theres nothing to do in this town

JL: but more importantly

DE: Mac, if all else fails I will help you out in anyway I can, you have my word. 

MM: Thanks Diego

JL: but more importantly you two love each other. shes going to be glad to talk to u no matter the outcome

DE:  And, Razi, when you grant a wish it tires you out, right? It drains some of your power.

Razi420: Yes, it does drain some of my power, but what does it have to do with jinxes?

JL: mac just remember that its going to go a whole lot better than you think it is going to go

JL: brains are just like that

JL: they tell u everythings gonna suck but surprise it rules

DE: The point that I’m getting at is that for a jinx to work, someone has to spend some power, so where does it come from, does it come from the wood that you must knock upon?

Razi420: …

Razi420: JD, you’ve been quite unlike yourself.

DE: No.

MM: I appreciate it JD

DE: Razi, you’re not getting away with it that easily.

MM: If Im being honest I expected to have to work hard to get info from you

DE: Razi, you can’t just deflect like that.

JL: im surprised that we didnt start a whole tangent on arrested development or something dumb

Razi420: Jinxes are caused by the stars, OK.

MM: you mean a tangent that everyone is involved in

DE: THats ridcuuloos

DE: *That’s ridiculous

JL: yeah

JL: but seriously

JL: I’m going to use grammatically correct sentences to express how much sincerity I have.

Razi420: I’m a djinn who’s friends with a vampire, a devil, and a werewolf who happens to be the sheriff of a town. We are not good judges of ridiculous.

JL: I just want you two to have a good time. You are coming to us for advice and I know that’s hard for you. You are making yourself vulnerable. I’m really proud of you.

MM: ... 

MM: Thanks

MM: It means a lot to me

DE: Why does JD get to be the one to say they’re proud of you?

DE: Shouldn’t that be for the person with seniority here.

JL: thats where ur wrong bucko

JL: the question here is one of gayness

JL: i am more dimensions of gay than u can possibly imagine

JL: thus i am the one whomst is allowed to delegate pride

DE: Also Razi, if it is stars, how does knocking on wood do shit.

JL: oh dam

MM: Now we know what gets Diego worked up enough to swear

Razi420: Photosynthesis uses light from stars, photosynthesis makes wood. Wood is directly related to starlight.

MM: But anyway thanks for the advice

DE: And here is the part where JD asks for a favor.

DE: Any minute now

DE: Also Razi, that is so patently ridiculous that I’m not going to debate about it anymore.

JL: Mac, you don’t owe me anything, just you two have a good time. If you two are happy, then I’m happy. That’s all..

JL: Also, if you claim I was helpful in anyway, shape, or form, I will deny it immediately.

MM: I expect nothing less

JL: i got a wild child image to keep up cant have this sincerity bullshit

JL: cool people dont have feelings right

JL: we just have leather jackets cool shades and smirks plastered on our faces

Razi420: Diego, if you refuse to debate about it, that means I win.

DE: iifwood is sending these tsingnals that means the signals would have to ravel fsaster than light to reach the starts and back with enough time to actually effet change

Razi420: Oooo, someone’s misspelling words, that means they’re angry.

JL: since everyone is here i think this is a good opportunity to do something ive always wanted to do

DE: The nearest star is over 4 light years away, how does it affect change on Earth.

JL: they use waves made of bofa rather than light

MM: JD

DE: You can’t get me, JD.

DE: I know this.

Razi420: what is bofa?

Several people are typing…

[sunnybimbo]

get to know the author

got tagged by mfin @grassepi like 10 days ago to do this!!!!!! /dab/

long ass post under the cut

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i explain this so often man its a trip. ‘jam’ came from simlish in the sims 3 because of that one voice line that’s like ‘jambabedo?’. i had changed my name to that on skype but when i was VCing with @namerine she could only see ‘jam’ and it kinda just stuck. speaking of: the ‘dingus’ part also came from her so literally this name is all because of her and i love her *fingerguns*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

by FAR my most popular fic is my collection of sickfics: In Sickness and Health

the only thing that it got beat in was comments from Close to the Heart, but that’s mostly just because it had so many mfin chapters

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

b a b y y o s h i

i literally cant remember how i found this picture or why i chose it as my icon but its my Brand now. yoshi jamthedingus is me

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i literally have so many. there’s @space-peachx, @bears-again, @narwhalsarefalling, @ravenssama, and @miishiiwrites (for some reason it wasnt letting me tag ur main asldhasd) plus a SHIT ton of anon commentors who i love just as dearly!!! i have a lot more but these are the most common commenters and i love them sm i could literally die.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

there are like three fics like that and ofc im gonna list them all

hands down the fic i’ve reread the MOST in the shortest period of time is Sunset in Reverse by @demenior (who i cannot tag for some reason but i hope they know that i love their fic dearly)

there’s this i n c r e d i b l e sickfic by @bosstoaster that i just adore called Drown Out Your Mind that just breaks my heart all types of ways

and there’s this OTHER fic that also fucks me up called strength of the small by @nowweareunstoppable in which pidge is bad ass and also gets fucked up and i literally rec it to all my friends i love it so much

(also a special shoutout to been @velkynkarma‘s Whisper in the Dark. whenever i have the need for a good creepin’ out i LOVE to revisit this one because like... just the description of the Final Boss (tm) alone is enough to give me the willies)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

oof

i have 449 bookmarks from like atleast 10 different fandoms, and about 411 fics i’m subscribed to, give or take a couple because Math. most of them are completed though, but i don’t go through and take them off because i’m a lazy hoe 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

well i just looked up my ao3 and it says i have the most in ‘Alternate Universe - Video Game World’ asjdhsaldhsja aka my mmo au. but technically i think the au i write the most is Modern bc i’m but a simple farmer with a limited mindscape

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

i have 22 user subscriptions vs 199 work subscriptions + 383 bookmarks in total. nice nice nice

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably something with a more serious tone (compared to the fluffy wuffy fics i write) like, for example, fatphobia, suicide, and literally just conflict in general. i always feel like im trivializing all of it no matter how hard i try so i just... Give Up because i dont want the backlash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i really want to get better at writing conflicts, as stated above lajhdlsadhls. but also i want to be better at planning out stories because i usually give up near the 3/4ths point of literally every multi-chaptered thing i’ve written

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

definitely rarepairs. voltron is like the biggest fandom i’ve ever been in and my biggest ships are all hunk ships, and all of those are rarepairs OTL

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

35!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ignoring the fics i’ve completed and posted on ao3, i have about 52. including the above equals 87!!! m a t h

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i try to write them down but if i write down the thingy i really want to focus on in the fic then i won’t want to write it anymore because it’s out of my head. OTL its a complicated process.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

literally never in my life. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

definitely tumblr. i was in the dragon age fandom and there was this fic called The Little Kadan which had fem!inquisitor/iron bull + a baby so like i was all over that asap. i’m too shy to tag the author but u can find them on tumblr at sickly-writes ,,,,,,

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah not at all. i’m pretty Niche

(i.e. if you love shunk and/or heith + cuddling, i’m your gal. but anything else is pretty rare OTL)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

not in the SLIGHTEST. i call them all babes in my head bc i love them tho

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t know this @fenri personally but i love their writing so much. i admire their style a WHOLE TON and i think i may have sort of modeled my own after theirs? 

like i’m just thinking about it now but it’s definitely after i reread their fic (*ahem ahem* Like Crystal Guts) for about the fifth time that i started my whole ‘prose-y’ writing, which is very very recent aldjhsal

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

be confident in ur writing! if someone says they don’t like it, your work just isnt for them. just because one single person doesn’t like it doesn’t mean its bad!

r e r e a d what you wrote! i use fromtexttospeech.com to catch like... sentence structure/grammatical errors when my eyes are too tired and i find it helps a lot!

if you find a story you like, try figuring out w h y you like it so much. characterization? the way they describe things? because they use sentence structure you haven’t seen before? and then use that new knowledge to try to make your own writing style your favorite *fingerguns* 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i only started plotting fics since last november, which was when i participated in my first nanowrimo. i don’t plot for every single story, but if i’m lost or i want to expand a little, i slap down a bunch of ideas in an empty google doc and go from there! 

generally by then i’ve already written atleast a little bit, though.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

i can’t even remember what it says exactly now since i deleted the fic after, but someone said my characterization was bad in a super old inuyasha fic. little like... 12 year old me was so sad ;w; 

i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a bad comment after that, though? which is NICE

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

DEFINITELY any action scene. i can’t make them long or drawn out or else i’ll just be struggling and sweating and generally craving death. i think i just need practice but o o o o f

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i have a few hot n spicy prompts i need to finish that i probably won’t get to until next year salhdjsa

plus a few christmas presents! 

and also my pirate au, Wander, which only has maybe 2 chapters left before its complete!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

*sweats loudly*

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not in the slightest. generally, if i’m in a writing sprint or something, i’ll try to get over a 1000 for whatever it is, but that’s for the total and not for the session. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely! even though i’m still shy, im a lot more open to constructive criticism (if it doesn’t come after my soul ;w;). I’m also getting better at being more descriptive, which is something i’ve always wanted! 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i have two. don’t make me choose

the first is technically cheating because it’s part of a series, and the series is my favorite BUT I DIGRESS. The Witch and the Mage (which is... one of my less imaginative names) is an MMO AU in which shiro and hunk are in love and also i have a vague plot outlined somewhere in my drive that’s pretty wild if i do say so myself. i may never write it but its there and its my favorite and i love the imagery i used in it.

the SECOND is a heith cuddle fic, because that’s basically my brand as a writer. it’s called home and i wrote it when i was very tired and couldn’t get to sleep. i may have been craving human contact? who knows in this economy. even though i see a number of things i wish i could fix about it, it’s just very self-indulgent in more than one way and its very dear to my heart. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

most of the fics i wrote earlier on are pretty bad imo, but i think the ones i hate the most are part of my You Are Beautiful series. it’s grossly out of character (mostly in keith’s case) but it was the first thing i’d written in about four years and i was so proud of it. so it has to stay up for posterity, tbh.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i really hope to still be writing by then. maybe with my own personal book in its planning stages atleast???  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gotta be optimistic!!

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

dialogue? also describing rooms. i love just... randomly popping out something that describes the placement of a couch in relation to a door. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

i always always always get distracted when i’m trying to write. if i’m in the zone, someone in my family is definitely gonna try to get my attention. it’s sort of become habit for me to just interrupt myself first so that i won’t lose whatever train of thought i had LMAO

33. Why do you write?

i like the way my words sound when i string them together in the right (write... *badum ts*) way. it makes me Feel Good (tm). 

also i love giving characters (that mean something to me) attention, because it’s like i’m giving MYSELF attention. a two-for-one!

Tagging:

@sleepyhunk, @narwhalsarefalling, @space-peachx, @sammythemattressthief, @bears-again, @kurosakiami01, @maternalcube, @ace-pidge, @darlingmuses

+  if anyone i tagged earlier would like to, i would literally be honored if you would do this! but no pressure, ever <3

[imcomingoffalittleshybutido]

I was rewatching my rep reaction video and the memories and feeling of listening to all the songs the first time came flooding back. I remember switching between Tumblr and SA anxiously liking posts and trying to calm myself down. Then I decided to look at the track names again so I went to iTunes... then I saw it. All of the songs said purchased next to them and I start to freak out. I started to shake and tried to open my tumblr so I could make a quick post but struggled. Then I listened to the album and recorded my reaction for the first 30 secs. First song End game, in the first 2 secs I mumbled shit under my breath. I remember when I heard ed I started to actually cry. I just saw him back in September. Next song, I did something bad I was in the middle of getting down to it when Taylor said "shit" and lost my actual shit. I was screaming yes QUEEN. My heart still racing I went to the next "don't blame me". WHAT A BALLAD!!!!! Let's just say I was head banging a lot. OKAY NOW DELICATE. At first listen I was like okay okay... but the more I listened the more good it got. THE WHOLE ROBOTIC MY REPUTATION HAS NEVER BEEN WORSE IS JUST GENUIS!!!! I found myself slowly getting down to it halfway through. Delicate is one of my favorites as you can tell by my username😂. So it goes.... this one when I first listened was over shadowed by my loudly beating heart and my need to breath. After obsessing over delicate until 1am this is the next one I jammed too. You know when I'm the 1989 world tour Tay would get on her knees during IKYWT.. well that was basically me during this song. This song is so underrated and it KILLS MEEEEEE. Okay now on to Getaway car. This.is.my.absolute.jam. I know I've said oh this ones my fav or this ones my fav BUT THIS ONE IS MY FAV TOO. THE CHORUS AND THAT KEY CHANGE AT THE END AHHHHHH. I belt this one out at least 4 times a day😂😂. Even while writing this I took a 10min break to jam to it 3 times😂😂. Please don't hate me but at first I didn't like King of my heart. I cringed when I first heard it and I feel so bad about it. I LOVE THIS SONG NOW But it's not my all time fav. It's a definite bop and THAT BRIDGE THOOOO. Next next next is dancing with our hands tied. This one also I wasn't the biggest fan of but with time this one has grown on me a lot. Now on to my baby DRESS. WHERE DO I START OMG THIS IS AMAZING. I was so scared to listen to this one at first because of what everyone was saying. But now listening to it, it's not even that dirty. the pre chorus is my actual life and ah ah ahhhhh is everything. This song is amazing and if you don't like it then something is wrong with u(jkkk). Okay get ready.. it's time for my ultimate favorite. THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS!!!! This was the song title that intrigued me the most and it did not disappoint. I actually died and went to heaven and came back during this song. This whole song is just my lifeline and I can't wait to see this live because it will be my funeral. Finally New Year's Day. I.love.me.a.good.piano. I cried during this one. It's so beautiful and AHHHH ITS THE END OF THE ALBUM LIKKEEEEEEEEE.