#but i ate so much yesterday
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every time i feel a little hungry i ask myself the same question: “is she pregnant or are the meds finally working”
#chronic illness life#fr tho who knows#it’s anyone’s guess#but the fact remains that i am hungry#and normally i can comfortable go 2-3 days without eating then i just binge 3000 calories yknow#but i ate so much yesterday#why am i hungry???#me#txt post
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Happy birthday!!!🎂🎁🎉🎈🎊
Hope you have fun (or did smth fun)!
Merci ‼️‼️ it was nice. Rainy. I slept for twelve hours last night.
Look, my cake AKFJDK
#ask#i ate a Lot 😭 so much rice and seafood#the little missing sliver was not me 💀#i did everything yesterday so nothing today hehe
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I fell asleep at 8pm last night and didn’t wake up once. I haven’t slept that good in months holy hell.
#I had a violent headache too#I feel so much better#probably bc I didn’t eat a single thing yesterday#my wife and kid cooked a delicious dinner - I ate and passed out#lesson of the day- take care of yourself and eat and drink water#and get plenty rest!!
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What's your favourite way to munch potatoes
well TODAY I legally have to say as Christmas leftovers
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ya girl turned 26 🫡
#i ate so much yesterday#woke up and im still bloated#looking yummy#feeling like death#this dress looks beautiful with my bag#its shame i still look fucking 16#original-punks
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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hacking the system by making myself lightheaded so i can go home & start my weekend early 😈😈😈
#jk i just started feeling really lightheaded out of nowhere and don’t have much work to do anyway. so i’m going to leave#my coworker just fucking roasted me bc i admitted to her that i also ate something yesterday that i should have thrown away days ago#because unfortunately i hate throwing food away and have a bad habit of doing this to myself#anyway i’ll be fine 👍#chatpost
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more goofy camping pics to come but for now enjoy my sheer glee at finding this huge chunk of CoW (chicken of the woods aka sulphur shelf) 🧡✨
#tried to post this yesterday and Tumblr ate it and then the post button broke#kinda pissed about that ngl#can’t remember what i put in the tags but it was mostly just about how great camping was#it was wet and rainy which was not the most ideal BUT it meant many mushrooms and other cool fungi and slime molds#I’ll be posting more of what I saw soon probably#most of them I was able to ID but there’s a few that I would definitely love input on#location is PNW#saw more chicken of the woods on this trip than in the rest of my life combined#tragically pretty much all of it was quite old#this was actually one of the youngest ones we saw#also I did not break this off it was already broken off and lying below the log where it had grown#this one is also just on the end of too mature to eat for me#so we did a photo op and returned it to the log#you know that dog that found half a pie in a bush and now has to check the ‘pie bush’ every time?#that me with my CoW and various other mushroom spots#personal#chicken of the woods#Laetiporus sulphureus#sulphur shelf#mycology#foraging#Pacific North West#mushrooms#my face
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update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore
now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week
#personal#and i have a working computer that's finally on windows 10 so that's one less thing to have background stress about#and i have a working phone for the first time in.. a year? 1.5 years? idfk. my previous phone was 16gb so i could fit like 2 apps#could barely take pictures (and couldnt store them) and couldnt update most of my apps because i couldnt update my os because no space#so every app ran slow and then eventually my phone would crash if i opened the storage section of the settings#so i couldnt even offload apps so i could delete them while keeping the data for when i downloaded them again#couldnt order medicine remotely because my chemist only lets you do that from the app (not the website)#couldnt control the aircon because that could only be done through an app#missed loads of stuff because i didnt have email notifications because i could only use my browser for emails#couldnt see tumblr polls on mobile because i couldnt update tumblr because i couldnt update my os#left the house less because i had to delete pokemon go and that genuinely helped me go for walks#ive been dealing with all that for a year so this is very exciting and such a ridiculous qol boost#it sucks how much something like that affects your life. what do you mean i need an app for everythingggg#but god im just glad peach is ok. like there was a moment when i was so stressed trying to update my computer because it wasnt working#and then she ate a small bit of food for the first time in 3 days and just. everything was suddenly fine again#and the other night i spent like 6 hrs just sitting here downloading and installing things on my computer#but it was fine because peach was on the chair next to me sleeping through the whole night and it was such a relief#my sister finally got her flight yesterday (after it was moved four days in a row) so that's just one less thing happening#ive started playing bg3 so that's cool and maybe ill get a chance to actually properly watch that new dav trailer lmao#that premiered at 2am on the first night peach was home from surgery and hadnt eaten or slept yet and i was too stressed to care about dav#and it really just went downhill for the next few days#god. ok. today is the first day i can actually breeaaaathe
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For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I had a great time last night but lord help me for my flight home
#being drunk is weird#didn’t help that I barely ate yesterday so I was much more of a lightweight than usual#my art#furry#furry art#me#fursona
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My problem is that the entire day I'm like "I'll eat when I [finish task]" and then life happens so I never finish task and it's midnight and I go "ok but is it even worth eating at this point" 😂
#i had a croissant at work tho#so I haven't eaten NOTHING#i also had a coffee so basically a full meal 😂#i think food used to be a better motivator for me lol#must have built up my tolerance too much#but i ate twice yesterday so it balances out#food
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Sometimes I get reminded again why I do things less
#I wanted to make gifs so badly for us the series especially also some moots wished it from me#but yesterday I had a tooth ache throughout the day which never really went away#I went to a birthday but needed to come early because it was insufferable the pain. I took 1000mg painkillers and went to bed#which woke me up 1 1/2 h later despite the high dosage. I waited for three hours with pain which went up to my ear already#anyway waited for three hours to finally go to the dental clinic and (no) surprise they needed to remove my inflamed tooth#also one thing to know about me. I hate dentists and I’m getting anxiety attacks mixed with ugly cries breakdowns when I’m there which#also drains a lot of my energy and I didn’t had much left anyway#I didn’t really slept. came home felt great due to the anesthesia and wanted to make some gifs#but then as soon as I worked on some the anesthesia started to wear off and I felt a pain again and#I really thought it’s not worth it to risk my health only for some notes on tumblr. so yeah ended up deleting all my files of us#ate something to take some ibu and went to sleep. it was a much needed sleep#I’m still sleepy but the pain is gone and maybe I’ll pick it up again to start from scratch to make gifs for us :)#zey rants
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*knocks on door* i hear it’s someone’s BIRTHDAY TODAY???
lea you absolute angel. i am sending you a trillion kisses thru my screen, HAPPY TWENTIETH!! 🍰 🎉 🥳
thank you for being such a ray of sunshine. you are a SUPER talented writer, just the kindest human, have the most excellent taste in men ever (we are so totally holding hands and jumping up and down), and i am SOOOOO GRATEFUL i got to meet you this year!! i hope 20 brings you nothing less than your wildest dreams and all the peace and joy in the world 🫂 ❤️
i love you TONS N TONS N TONS!!! i hope you have the bestest day ever 🫶 MMWAH!! <333
VIVIIIIII 🥺🥺 you are so fucking sweet i am SOBBINGGG!!! i am super grateful to have met YOU this year :,3 everytime i see you on my dash or get a little message from you, you just MAKE MY DAYY <33
THANK YEW SO SO SOOO MUCH LOVEBUG i love you SOSOSO MUCH!! reading this made my heart melt 🥺🥺
MWAHH MWAH GIVING YEW ALL THE KISSES BACK 💗
#✉⤷ lea's love letters .ᐟ#VIVI I FUCKING LOVE YEW#i had a great day today!!!#and YESSSS we r so holding hands and jumping up and down!!!#i honestly just ate sweets today LMFAOO#i got a cute purse from a friend of mine#and some keychains and a pin from my sister#my family doesnt celebrate birthdays so i dont care much about it#but you are so sweet <333#and on a very side note with a fat apology#i did leave this for later bc i am a liar 😞#i actually turned 18...#SUPRISE!!#just like forget that i was a minor yesterday#and dont hate my guts 😞 but its ok if u do bc im just a fat liar to my angel of a mootie on tumblr dot com 💔#I LOVE YEW LOTS N LOTS AND I HOPE 2025 IS YOUR YEAR ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤#my love; vivi .ᐟ
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Little Tally has been plodding around and she was trying to get into a box earlier and she later came up to me and stared at me expectantly then later tried to eat my plants again and just now she came up to sit next to me purring again and leaning into my pets
The medicine really is making her feel better I think. And it's really highlighting how bad she Has been feeling. Bc these are all very basic things, but she hasn't been doing it. Even up to her little walk, the plodding sounds of her footsteps... before today, she was moving so stiffly, an awkward little shamble, so I couldn't even really hear her when she got up (which was nowhere near as much as normal). Something as simple as hearing her drinking water is making me emotional. If she starts yowling tonight when I go to bed I really might just cry.
I really hope this keeps up... she's got just one more day of meds, but maybe it'll be enough... I hope so...
#speculation nation#animal illness ment/#im never going to complain about her again. even if she poops in the drain again.#i love her so dearly and a week ago when i didnt know what was wrong besides the fact that she was in pain and wouldnt eat much...#i cried so hard. i was so scared. bc while she may be a little shithead at times shes so so dear to me.#ive had her for 3 years now... watched her turn from an excitable 1 year old to a chiller (but still mischievous) 4 year old...#shes my little chaos demon who shrugs off any inconvenience and just moves onto the next thing just like that.#so seeing her so stiff and lethargic... it just feels so *wrong*.#it really has been so upsetting. ive been trying to not think about it too much. focusing on making sure shes eating.#just doing what i can for her. but god i want my tally back.#shes still not eating as much as normal but shes been eating some and shes moving around more than she has been#and asking for attention instead of just laying on the couch doing nothing for hours and hours...#my tally gets BORED and she hasnt been. she didnt even cause chaos when we were at my sister's place. it felt so wrong.#so. we'll hope this is signs of an upturn. and that she'll keep on this trend.#and if she doesnt. well i have that appointment scheduled for blood tests on Thursday.#if she goes back to how she was before after im out of the meds then itll have been like 2 weeks of this#which is a long time for a cat to be sick with a cold. and so the blood tests would be necessary.#even though i know she hates it. she got mad at me this morning when i picked her up to bring her to her food#both bc i disturbed her and also bc i think there was a moment where she thought i was bringing her back to the box.#and she didnt eat much right then. so i waited a bit and then brought the food to her. and she ate more then.#and then her meds! which she had a dose yesterday but it didnt affect her as much as today's dose seems to have.#she may also have just been recovering from the stress of it + the fluids thing they gave her on her scruff.#she was a Very unhappy camper yesterday. but shes doing better today... and thats what matters...#so glad shes been asking for affection. i was scared she was legit mad at me. since i keep bringing her to weird places.#it's for her health though... she might not understand it but it's all for her sake...
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nothing like waking up to a mouthful of saliva on the verge of throwing up
#tf did i do to you body?#is it stress? fear??#I've had this feeling of nausea ever since that day I received the news#and ik for sure I haven't ate anything bad#god my stomach is killing me#i know you shouldn't resist it and that it's better to just listen to your body and throw up#but I hate throwing up and I hate the dreadful anticipation#okay back#had to pause making this post snd run to the bathroom#the deed is done and I feel so much better despite the horrific experience of throwing up thrice in a row at the same minute#now I'm brushing my teeth#this has been one of the worst ways I've woken up#but hey. at least now that I'm back to semi functional. Here is a fun fact about throwing up#that liquid you feel collecting in your mouth before you hurl? it's not stomach acid (despite me saying so) it's actually good for you#protective solution to coat your teeth mouth and throat so the actual stomach acid doesn't burn or damage you#but i don't remember if it's saliva or something else lemme look it up#okay yeah it is saliva. it would've been crazy if it was stomach wall lining. that shit is expensive to make#expensive bodywise. Repairing it takes a lot of time—i would know#recalling everything I ate yesterday and judging by the emptied content of my stomach—it was the watermelon and strawberry juice's fault#But I drank some before and yesterday#It's the fucking stress isn't it#Even when I fool myself into thinking I'm happy. My goddamn body will betray me and manifest my fear#I really don't know what to do at this point
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Bro i love my managers theyre all so sweet 😭
#my store manager gave me $50 for Christmas asn#and one of the others gave me an amazon gift card im????#LIKE#THATS SO NICE#i love them#i wish i could return the favor but rn i cant#i made cookies for everyone yesterday but idk if they even ate any#i really do not make enough working there but i love my coworkers?? except for 3#the one who flirts with me the gay asshole manager no one likes or wants to work with and the new guy who seems nice but idk yet#also iffy on another cashier who keeps calling me mandy#MY NAME TAG IS RIGHT THERE!!!#i just want to see how long it goes for#at least she has the m right#at my old job i had a lady who always called me morgan(another girl who worked in my departments name)#at the time i responded but now id just ignore tf out of her bc im not as much of a push over#different situation from this though the mandy thing is just funnt
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